Connecting the Dots: My Midlife Journey with Adult AD/HD

by Gabriella West

Most of us have heard of ADHD (Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), so why is it so common for women not to be diagnosed until they are in midlife? While boys manifest their ADHD in hyperactive behaviors, female sufferers tend to internalize their symptoms, contending with anxiety, depression, demoralization, and self-esteem issues. Because of this, a woman's diagnosis often comes later on, with the realization that she is just not coping with life, work, and relationships as well as she should be. She's not meeting anyone's expectations, certainly not her own.

So much has been discovered in the last ten years about ADHD in girls and women, but a lot of it's still not commonly known. Awareness of your symptoms is the key to change, and it all begins with self-awareness.

Novelist Gabriella West is refreshingly candid about her journey towards a diagnosis of ADHD, which started a few years ago when she encouraged her female partner to get a diagnosis. She uncovers of a family history of the disorder, looking back at her own mother's life as a divorced American in Ireland in the 1970s. In Connecting the Dots she highlights common symptoms women with inattentive-type ADHD experience, and shows that although getting a diagnosis is not necessarily easy, the relief of finding an explanation for things that previously just seemed "wrong" is enormous and healing.

(8000 words--including appendices that offer the scoop on current ADHD meds and a checklist of symptoms for inattentive ADHD.)

Genres: Nonfiction, Adhd, Audiobook

32 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 15, 2013

About the author

Born in California, grew up in Ireland, moved to the Bay Area in 1988.

I'm the author of 9 LGBT-themed novels, including "Time of Grace" and "Elsie Street." Two recent books are set in England in the 13th century. "A Knight's Tale: Kenilworth" explores the events of the Second Barons' War through the eyes of a squire, Will, living in Simon de Montfort's household. Book 2 was published in March 2018. My most recent book is "Once You Are Mine," an M/M love story set in Northern California during the first year of the pandemic.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: My latest release in the Knight's Tale trilogy, THE KNIGHT'S RETURN, was released on May 12... but if you pre-ordered it, you will NOT automatically receive a copy, as the pre-order was unfortunately canceled right at the last moment. So, please look for it now on Amazon.com, .UK, or the other sites and pick up a fresh copy. Thank you!

Lastly, I'm pretty good about responding to friend requests :)

Reviews

[Gabriella]

Just published!

[EstephBooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice essay. Makes ADHD people feel less alone, and find a bit more understanding.

[Margaret Lesh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Connecting the Dots: My Midlife Journey with Adult AD/HD is a short, booklet-length book, but it is packed with information, tips and resources about adult AD/HD as well as the related but different condition known as Sluggish Cognitive Tempo, or SCT, which is something I had never heard of before but has its own set of symptoms.

Gabriella West tells her story in an accessible, easy-to-read way. In the introduction, she explains that her goal is "to help midlife women navigate through the challenges of living with newly diagnosed ADHD," as well as to help women feel empowered to be able to make positive changes in their lives. In this book, she provides the reader with tools to do just that.

She examines her childhood, recalling being a "spacey" kid, quiet and chubby, and her parents' behavior, wondering whether her undiagnosed mother did in fact suffer from AD/HD, which is often inherited. As an adult, she begins to notice the woman she is dating exhibiting certain behaviors such as chronic lateness, and in attempting to get help for her, she begins to eventually question her own behavior and to connect the dots.

West describes how women in the past have often gone undiagnosed, finding themselves floundering in their adult lives, unable to find fulfilling work or lacking focus without really knowing why. I learned so much reading this book. Girls and women primarily have the inattentive form of ADHD, which manifests itself in feelings of not being smart or that something is wrong with them. "Women struggle in particular with clutter, hoarding, organization, filing, taxes, cleaning house..."

Something I picked up reading this book was the freedom that a diagnosis of AD/HD can give a woman because a diagnosis and treatment can help her to live up to her full potential. What a wonderful thing, to know why you do the things you do and to have answers!

The appendices include recommended books as well as drug information, and a check list "Do I have ADD?"

This is a valuable guide for any woman who thinks they, or someone they care about, may have undiagnosed AD/HD.

[Mary Lou Hoffman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t often read non-fiction, but this one caught my interest, starting with the cover. Let’s face it – the combat boots tied like pink ballet slippers have a weird discordance that captures the imagination.

As a woman who is often pulled in so many directions, I wonder if I may have ADHD or am I just busy. This book won’t give you any answers. However, it may lead you to seek answers.

If you have been diagnosed, what you will find is a sister… a friend… someone to tell you that what you are feeling is normal, you are okay… and she is right.

Narration: Daniela Acitelli is a good narrator with a friendly voice. I had to remind myself that it wasn’t the author herself speaking to me.

Note: While I received this book as a gifted audiobook copy, my opinions are my own and are given freely.



Title: CONNECTING THE DOTS: MY MIDLIFE JOURNEY WITH ADULT AD/HD
Category /Genre: Personal Memoirs
Listenability: OK for ears
Received from: Gabriella West (as an Audible gifted copy)

[Rita · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well it's short, kinda like a blog post. I listened to it while I was in the bus and needed something to listen too. I am consuming books on adhd for women. This is one. It's nor good or bad. She is talking about her experience.

[Lori L · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was the catalyst that set me on the path to understanding myself and ultimately led to my diagnosis and getting the help I needed several years ago. I revisited it today as a refresher, and once again, I was struck by how deeply it resonated with me. It felt as if Gabriella was speaking directly to me. It is short and to the point, which obviously works for me. I only wish I had read it sooner.