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Just Be Honest: How to Worship through Tears and Pray without Pretending
Learn how to lament (wrestle with God in prayer) and experience genuine hope and joy amidst grief and pain. Suffering often causes deep spiritual agony. You might be left thinking, “Where is God? Why is he allowing this? Why doesn’t he do something?” And then guilt whispers to your soul, “Am I allowed to say these things? Shouldn’t I trust God without hesitation? Am I just a faithless Christian?” This honest, warm and personal book shows us that we don’t need to wrap up our stories of suffering with lessons and silver linings or suppress our pain. Being honest with God, and with others, about our heartache is not only “allowed” but encouraged in the Scriptures. In fact, lament is authorized by God as an act of worship. Weaving in his own story of pain and loss with biblical reflections, Clint Watkins shows us how lament is permitted by Jesus, shaped by Scripture, fueled by grace, and filled with hope. And when we lament as communities through worship and testimony, we minister hope to a hurting world. Learn how to pray without pretending by sharing your hurts with God. As you draw near to the Father, experience genuine hope and joy amid grief and pain. A great gift for Christians who are suffering and a useful resource for church leaders and others who are walking alongside them. Clint Watkins is a missionary to college students.
160 pages, Paperback
Published January 1, 2024
39 people are currently reading
640 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews
February 27, 2024
Wow, this book was AMAZING! It stands out as one of the best books I have read on the topic of grief and lamenting.
In this short yet powerful book, Clint Watkins shares his own personal story dealing with pain and loss to provide hope to readers. It's not a fluffy hope with platitudes but one rooted in Jesus and the Gospel, offering genuine hope in the darkest moments.
I love how Clint encourages us to push past pretending when grieving and to be honest in a way that is raw and reverent.
This book is incredibly beneficial, not only to those who find themselves in the midst of grieving but also to those who want to faithfully walk alongside brothers and sisters who are hurting. I appreciated the insight into normalizing grieving in corporate worship. The author also speaks about the lack of modern worship songs addressing lamenting and how we often only sing about mountain-top experiences.
There's so much to love about this book; it's challenging to put it all into words. It's one of those books you finish and think, "WOW, I needed that," knowing you will never be the same after reading it. This book has inspired me to grieve more honestly and be there for others in a deeper way. I was touched by many of the ways Clint shared how he and his wife were served in their suffering.
I highly recommend it!
In this short yet powerful book, Clint Watkins shares his own personal story dealing with pain and loss to provide hope to readers. It's not a fluffy hope with platitudes but one rooted in Jesus and the Gospel, offering genuine hope in the darkest moments.
I love how Clint encourages us to push past pretending when grieving and to be honest in a way that is raw and reverent.
This book is incredibly beneficial, not only to those who find themselves in the midst of grieving but also to those who want to faithfully walk alongside brothers and sisters who are hurting. I appreciated the insight into normalizing grieving in corporate worship. The author also speaks about the lack of modern worship songs addressing lamenting and how we often only sing about mountain-top experiences.
There's so much to love about this book; it's challenging to put it all into words. It's one of those books you finish and think, "WOW, I needed that," knowing you will never be the same after reading it. This book has inspired me to grieve more honestly and be there for others in a deeper way. I was touched by many of the ways Clint shared how he and his wife were served in their suffering.
I highly recommend it!
August 2, 2024
FROM CHAPTER 7 (LET OTHERS IN): It has been a battle to surrender to the Lord and the story he has written for our family. I would much rather have Eli in my arms than a sermon at a conference or my name on this book. But I am not the author of my life. Only by his grace, the gift of lament, and the help of others have I been able to say, “Not my will, but yours.” And part of trusting God with our story has been sharing it with others. Despite the difficulty, it’s an honor to declare my son’s worth, my Savior’s grace, and my honest struggle in the midst of our suffering. And as Eli’s dad, I consider it a somber privilege if his life and death produce in others honest faith and hope in Christ.
WHAT I LOVE: Clint’s heart and vulnerability, as well as his obedience to the Lord in writing these pages where he delicately weaves his own story of great suffering and loss with biblical reflections and Truth that offer weary believers and those walking beside them rays of hope, wisdom, and encouragement.
WHO IS THIS FOR: Every person who loves the Lord and has a desire to love others well, but especially for any believer who is hurting and wrestling with God.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: If there is one book that I can press upon you to read this year (outside of the Bible), it is this one.
In the Introduction, Clint writes, “Whatever season you’re in, I pray that you will discover God’s gift of lament, and feel better equipped to help others do the same.”
And as you read this book, you will do just that. Though I am not personally walking through the valley, I have friends who are, and this book did just as Clint prayed it would—it opened my eyes to this beautiful gift and better equipped me to come alongside those whom I love and who are hurting.
This book itself is a gift, a genuine blessing.
Thank you, Clint, for my copy. I was not requested for a review, and all thoughts and opinions are my own.
WHAT I LOVE: Clint’s heart and vulnerability, as well as his obedience to the Lord in writing these pages where he delicately weaves his own story of great suffering and loss with biblical reflections and Truth that offer weary believers and those walking beside them rays of hope, wisdom, and encouragement.
WHO IS THIS FOR: Every person who loves the Lord and has a desire to love others well, but especially for any believer who is hurting and wrestling with God.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: If there is one book that I can press upon you to read this year (outside of the Bible), it is this one.
In the Introduction, Clint writes, “Whatever season you’re in, I pray that you will discover God’s gift of lament, and feel better equipped to help others do the same.”
And as you read this book, you will do just that. Though I am not personally walking through the valley, I have friends who are, and this book did just as Clint prayed it would—it opened my eyes to this beautiful gift and better equipped me to come alongside those whom I love and who are hurting.
This book itself is a gift, a genuine blessing.
Thank you, Clint, for my copy. I was not requested for a review, and all thoughts and opinions are my own.
June 14, 2025
Raw, hopeful, and practical. This book will help me engage the Psalms of lament with fresh eyes and a fresh faith.
Here’s a quote on the different trajectory lament has compared to grumbling that struck me:
“Lamenters move toward God in their wrestling. Their trajectory is trust. But grumblers never move beyond pain or protest. They don’t work out their troubles with the Lord. They let their troubles turn them away. Their complaints become conclusions.”
Here’s a quote on the different trajectory lament has compared to grumbling that struck me:
“Lamenters move toward God in their wrestling. Their trajectory is trust. But grumblers never move beyond pain or protest. They don’t work out their troubles with the Lord. They let their troubles turn them away. Their complaints become conclusions.”
October 13, 2024
As someone who has faced some very lamentable situations in the last couple of years (as lament is defined in this book) I found this book both encouraging, hopeful, and compelling.
Since I have been soaking in the Pslams, nothing he shared was surprising. Yet, I think that is the way with the best books. They don't surprise you, they just wrap God's truth you've know around you in a way that is meaningful and relates to what you are going through.
Watkins shared his own journey of grief and showed us a path of biblical grief and lament for which I'm grateful I'll be rereading this book in the future.
Trigger warnings/Content Notes: Infant death
Since I have been soaking in the Pslams, nothing he shared was surprising. Yet, I think that is the way with the best books. They don't surprise you, they just wrap God's truth you've know around you in a way that is meaningful and relates to what you are going through.
Watkins shared his own journey of grief and showed us a path of biblical grief and lament for which I'm grateful I'll be rereading this book in the future.
Trigger warnings/Content Notes: Infant death
October 4, 2024
I wish I had the words to do this book justice. It’s incredible, a must-read, a book where every.single.page is full of hope and truth, and a balm to a hurting soul. This book takes thoughts of “I can’t honestly speak to God about this”, and turns them into prayers. Every day that I picked this up, my heart was encouraged.
You’ll love this if you:
•are in the midst of sorrow and aren’t sure how to be honest with God about it
•aren’t sure how you feel about God and his place in your suffering
•are scared to include others in your sorrow
•are walking through suffering with a close friend or family member
•need a hope-filled read
Bonus: If you’re looking for real-life practical ways to move closer to God in your suffering, move closer to others in your suffering, and help others who are suffering; this book is your resource! I will be referencing back to this one often.
Favorite quotes:
“Strong faith weeps”
“Some of the most steadfast believers look at the world through tears and walk with a limp.”
“And when you can’t understand why God is allowing such agony, hear Christ’s cry from the cross. Suffering can reduce your prayers down to one word: Why? Jesus punctuated his prayer with a question mark. You can, too.”
“Sorrow belongs in the sanctuary.”
“Learn to meet tragedy with a ministry of tears.”
Thank you @thegoodbookcompanyusa and @clintdwatkins for the free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. This is a book I will be buying many more copies of ❤️
You’ll love this if you:
•are in the midst of sorrow and aren’t sure how to be honest with God about it
•aren’t sure how you feel about God and his place in your suffering
•are scared to include others in your sorrow
•are walking through suffering with a close friend or family member
•need a hope-filled read
Bonus: If you’re looking for real-life practical ways to move closer to God in your suffering, move closer to others in your suffering, and help others who are suffering; this book is your resource! I will be referencing back to this one often.
Favorite quotes:
“Strong faith weeps”
“Some of the most steadfast believers look at the world through tears and walk with a limp.”
“And when you can’t understand why God is allowing such agony, hear Christ’s cry from the cross. Suffering can reduce your prayers down to one word: Why? Jesus punctuated his prayer with a question mark. You can, too.”
“Sorrow belongs in the sanctuary.”
“Learn to meet tragedy with a ministry of tears.”
Thank you @thegoodbookcompanyusa and @clintdwatkins for the free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. This is a book I will be buying many more copies of ❤️
April 27, 2024
One of the most profound little books I’ve read on the subject of grief. Writing from my hometown of Lancaster, Pennsylvania with a similar experience of having lost their infant son, Clint combines the honest wrestling of his story with the truth and precious comfort of scripture (and, very refreshingly, without the easy platitudes and poultices often used to paint over suffering). I deeply appreciate what he has to say on growing awareness within the church of people’s grief and extending an invitation for it to be part of our culture instead of masking it behind faulty smiles. I’m not typically one to mark up my books but this one has notes and underlined paragraphs on nearly every page. Truly a gem.
December 27, 2023
Such a powerful book. I’ve read a few books on lament recently, but this is my new favorite. Clint shares about what it is to lament biblically and why it’s okay to grieve and voice how you feel without offering a silver lining. I found this book to be so helpful, and I’ve already recommended it to several friends.
This is definitely a book that I will go back to and reread in the future. Highly recommend!
Thank you to @agoodbookcompanyusa for my gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.
This is definitely a book that I will go back to and reread in the future. Highly recommend!
Thank you to @agoodbookcompanyusa for my gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.
February 22, 2024
Clint Watkins shares so vulnerably about the loss of his first child and man, I shed some tears. He walks through walk it looks like to lament biblically and honestly before the Lord. He also shows you what it like to weep with those who weep. One of my biggest takeaways was how there should be space during corporate worship for lament to take place and how we should sing songs that include it. I’m so thankful Clint shared his story. If you’re a believer, you should add this to your TBR list asap.
May 23, 2025
incredibly helpful book about lament - how to grieve and help those you know grieve well within the Christian community. it was practical and also poetic. will be getting this little book for a lot of people in years to come.
August 25, 2024
After losing my daughter in a very similar way that Clint lost his son, I found a lot of comfort in reading of some of the raw moments throughout his own grief journey. There was a lot here I could relate to very closely. Even more, this book is a handbook for lament and for walking with others in their grief (any kind of grief) within the community of Christ Followers. This book uncovers our biblical permission to wrestle with God honestly and that is such a gift.
November 1, 2024
Outstanding and inspiring. Read it to my teenagers, which ended up being quite cathartic, freeing some of them to be more honest about some difficulties they're going through.
February 2, 2024
If 1/3 of the psalms written for ancient corporate worship were psalms of lament, why are we so uncomfortable with being honest with the Lord in this way—both personally and corporately?
In this book, Clint Watkins does much more than just present a compelling case for the validity and necessity of biblical lament as a form or worship—he also lets the reader into the deepest, most painful season of his life and cracks open the door to his wrestling with the Lord there.
In two parts, he walks the reader through personal and corporate lament. After helping us gain a better understanding of lament, why it’s so vital to honest and healthy worship, and how it’s different from sinful grumbling, he shows us the importance of lament having space in our Sunday gatherings.
Whatever season you’re currently in, this book will serve as an incredible resource. It may be a balm for your weary, aching soul today. Or help prepare you for when suffering comes. Or equip you to “weep with those who weep.” Highly, highly recommend!
In this book, Clint Watkins does much more than just present a compelling case for the validity and necessity of biblical lament as a form or worship—he also lets the reader into the deepest, most painful season of his life and cracks open the door to his wrestling with the Lord there.
In two parts, he walks the reader through personal and corporate lament. After helping us gain a better understanding of lament, why it’s so vital to honest and healthy worship, and how it’s different from sinful grumbling, he shows us the importance of lament having space in our Sunday gatherings.
Whatever season you’re currently in, this book will serve as an incredible resource. It may be a balm for your weary, aching soul today. Or help prepare you for when suffering comes. Or equip you to “weep with those who weep.” Highly, highly recommend!
December 26, 2023
Would you believe that in our suffering and trials, God welcomes our wrestling, our honesty, our vulnerability, even welcoming our lament and considering it a form of worship? I found Clint Watkins’ book “Just Be Honest” (subtitled “How to Worship Through Tears and Pray Without Pretending”) to express this beautifully as we are reminded that Jesus is our example and companion in suffering and trials.
The book talks about how we can engage with God “without denying our intense hurts” and that questions and wrestling with God are welcome.
Further, it brings us to consider how saints in the Bible and especially Jesus faced suffering, showing us how we as believers “are called to be ‘imitators of God’ (Ephesians 5:1).”
I highlighted so much it was hard to choose what to share.
“I needed to know that even in my worst moments, in my bursts of uncontrolled emotion and angry tears, I was safe. That I could cry out to God with my greatest hurts, knowing he was holding me, inviting me into a richer life with him.”
“You might be tempted to erase the scenes in your story where you’ve wept and wrestled with God. But the Lord treasures dented and messy faith.”
“…the Bible confounds us with a gracious God who welcomes our wrestling.”
“…your task in suffering’s storm is not perfect navigation. Rather, you are called to keep stumbling toward the God of grace.”
“This is the paradox of faith: we are marked by both sadness and joy. Like an eclipse, we acknowledge the darkness and the light at the same time. Suffering hurts, sin dismantles, tragedies continue—and Jesus reigns, grace abounds, redemption will win.”
Thank you to The Good Book Company for gifting me an advance copy of this book. I am leaving this review voluntarily and was not required to leave a positive review. All opinions are my own.
The book talks about how we can engage with God “without denying our intense hurts” and that questions and wrestling with God are welcome.
Further, it brings us to consider how saints in the Bible and especially Jesus faced suffering, showing us how we as believers “are called to be ‘imitators of God’ (Ephesians 5:1).”
I highlighted so much it was hard to choose what to share.
“I needed to know that even in my worst moments, in my bursts of uncontrolled emotion and angry tears, I was safe. That I could cry out to God with my greatest hurts, knowing he was holding me, inviting me into a richer life with him.”
“You might be tempted to erase the scenes in your story where you’ve wept and wrestled with God. But the Lord treasures dented and messy faith.”
“…the Bible confounds us with a gracious God who welcomes our wrestling.”
“…your task in suffering’s storm is not perfect navigation. Rather, you are called to keep stumbling toward the God of grace.”
“This is the paradox of faith: we are marked by both sadness and joy. Like an eclipse, we acknowledge the darkness and the light at the same time. Suffering hurts, sin dismantles, tragedies continue—and Jesus reigns, grace abounds, redemption will win.”
Thank you to The Good Book Company for gifting me an advance copy of this book. I am leaving this review voluntarily and was not required to leave a positive review. All opinions are my own.
April 8, 2024
This book is arguably one of the most important, richest, and genuinely helpful books I’ve ever read on suffering and lament in the Christian church.
Clint Watkins shares about his own journey with suffering in a way that is both honoring and honest. He does not fluff it up, or pretend it was anything else than what it was - painful, but he does so in a way that addresses the kindness of Jesus and how he meets us in our suffering. He also addresses how we as the corporate church can come around those who are suffering & from my own personal experience, I can attest that his insight is both biblical and helpful.
I would recommend this book for any and everyone. Whether you’re in a season of sorrow or on the mountain tops, the truth is that on this side of glory, we will encounter suffering. I found this book to be rooted in gospel truths that will help us navigate the sorrows of life together.
“Jesus does not discount our despair, he gladly joins us in our grief.”
Clint Watkins shares about his own journey with suffering in a way that is both honoring and honest. He does not fluff it up, or pretend it was anything else than what it was - painful, but he does so in a way that addresses the kindness of Jesus and how he meets us in our suffering. He also addresses how we as the corporate church can come around those who are suffering & from my own personal experience, I can attest that his insight is both biblical and helpful.
I would recommend this book for any and everyone. Whether you’re in a season of sorrow or on the mountain tops, the truth is that on this side of glory, we will encounter suffering. I found this book to be rooted in gospel truths that will help us navigate the sorrows of life together.
“Jesus does not discount our despair, he gladly joins us in our grief.”
May 23, 2024
This book is profound and moving. It pushes the lowly and broken back to God. Encouraging the process of lament to be looked at not as something to just rush through but to rest In. Wrestling with God is biblical and real. It shows that pain in this life is a real thing just as our God is also. Your grief matters to God and to others. He is there and will listen. To use the suffering that is present to grow us closer to him and to help others. This is glorifying to Him as he is sovereign over all things.
April 5, 2025
Superb book. Watkins helpfully shows that grief and lament are not just human emotions but ones Jesus had too. This would be helpful to any Christian but especially those struggling with the constant joy that is often church. It’s ok not to be ok. God is big enough to deal with that.
December 20, 2023
Wow! What an incredible book! This book is for EVERY Christian. Watkin shares his painful story throughout, sharing how he and his wife lost their son, and his struggling through immense pain and grief over the death of their baby. He shows Christian readers how the Bible teaches us to lament. I loved his section where he breaks down the difference of lament and grumbling and really calls for believers to struggle faithfully and lament. He shows how we can worship God even in the midst of very painful trials. Sometimes when we are struggling with grief, we don't feel like praising God. He shows how we can still worship God from examples in Psalms with the aim of again being able to praise Him again and we see this through the Psalms. This book is for the Christian who is struggling with grief or pain whether it is grief over the state of the country/world (ex. Habakkuk), depression or mental health issues, death of loved one or relationship, etc. Basically if you are struggling with trials, this book is for you. But it is also for those who are not currently suffering in this current season. It is a great book to help us prepare to suffer faithfully. He has a great section for how we as believers can help each other better through trials. I love his call to corporate lament and weeping with those who weep and how this has really diminished within our churches. This is something I personally experienced growing up with my church that they did so well, holding each other up during trials. I since have learned the rarity of this and appreciated him addressing this and encouraging the church in.
I strongly encourage every Christian to read this book!
Thank you @thegoodbookcompanyusa for a copy of this book for my honest thoughts!
I strongly encourage every Christian to read this book!
Thank you @thegoodbookcompanyusa for a copy of this book for my honest thoughts!
December 29, 2023
This was one of the best books I’ve ever read on the topic of lament. It was raw, scripturally rich and immensely practical. Clint’s vulnerability and humility was inspiring. Many tears were shed in the reading of this book. My heart was broken for Clint and Jillian, but I was blown away by their strength, dependence upon the Lord and their willingness to trust his promises in the midst of devastating pain. This is a must read!
February 21, 2025
Highly recommend. This is a book that's near to my heart. We have all dealt with grief in different forms and this biblical perspective that God accepts our laments felt comforting and encouraging. Maybe Christians can start fixating on Jesus rather rather than quotable lines to "fix" others struggles.
February 14, 2024
Clint Watkins shares important spiritual truths about lament in this book, alongside his personal story of losing his firstborn child due to a tragic prenatal diagnosis. He reflects on how difficult it was for him to know how to relate to God during this time, since he was so devastated and angry, and he draws on his own experience to illustrate common struggles that Christians face when they are walking through deep suffering.
Watkins encourages readers to be honest with God and with each other, and he highlights instances from Scripture where faithful believers and Jesus Himself openly grieved and expressed the depths of their feelings to God. Watkins explains that even though grieving Christians often feel displaced in contemporary church culture, believing that they need to sound upbeat and hopeful in spite of their losses, God welcomes the reality of what we feel.
Although the first half of this book focuses on being honest with God, the second half is about being honest with other Christians. Watkins speaks to both sufferers and the people supporting them, and he offers practical advice for how individual Christians and churches at large can better support and include the hurting people in their midst. Watkins also shares thoughtful responses to questions that people might have, such as how to distinguish biblical lament from grumbling, and how to strike the balance of letting a friend vent their honest feelings while still speaking truth into their lives.
This book will encourage Christians in a variety of difficult circumstances. Watkins's heartfelt reflections about losing his son will especially resonate with other bereaved parents, but the book's universal themes make it relevant to all suffering Christians and their supporters. This book is honest, deeply grounded in Scripture, and very thoughtful, and I highly recommend it.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Watkins encourages readers to be honest with God and with each other, and he highlights instances from Scripture where faithful believers and Jesus Himself openly grieved and expressed the depths of their feelings to God. Watkins explains that even though grieving Christians often feel displaced in contemporary church culture, believing that they need to sound upbeat and hopeful in spite of their losses, God welcomes the reality of what we feel.
Although the first half of this book focuses on being honest with God, the second half is about being honest with other Christians. Watkins speaks to both sufferers and the people supporting them, and he offers practical advice for how individual Christians and churches at large can better support and include the hurting people in their midst. Watkins also shares thoughtful responses to questions that people might have, such as how to distinguish biblical lament from grumbling, and how to strike the balance of letting a friend vent their honest feelings while still speaking truth into their lives.
This book will encourage Christians in a variety of difficult circumstances. Watkins's heartfelt reflections about losing his son will especially resonate with other bereaved parents, but the book's universal themes make it relevant to all suffering Christians and their supporters. This book is honest, deeply grounded in Scripture, and very thoughtful, and I highly recommend it.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
May 15, 2024
This book absolutely floored me. Clint uses his experience to help sufferers remember that our pain is real, our wrestling is welcome, and our hope is sure. “Suffering has a way of loosening our grip on God‘s promises. But lament helps us cling to Christ and remind us that he has not let us go” (125). I also really appreciate that he ends his book with two chapters on how to walk through suffering with others, both as the one suffering and also as one who has suffered and can help someone else who’s suffering…how to brave the darkness and help them voice their pain and lament biblically.
May 18, 2025
I thought this was very good and presented many examples of lamenting from scripture. I could see buying multiple copies of this to just gift to people to learn more about this topic, and I could see myself reading this again throughout my life as I go through different troubles and trials. Joyful praise does not necessarily pour out of us naturally when we’re struggling. Mourning and lamenting can be brought to God as with any other emotion and He has endured this same burden and feeling. It’s so encouraging to me to remember that He knows. He really knows it all.
February 22, 2024
This is such an excellent resource on the topic of lament. Highly recommend to all Christians.
May 29, 2024
"Too many people think real worship only means an upbeat and happy demeanour. But grief-filled prayers of pain while seeking God are among the deepest expressions of worship"
March 1, 2025
Just finished the book and despite the fact I can't really understand what the author went through, I felt the sorrow deeply.
This book is such a blessing, as Scripture gives believers words for their pain, this book gives people words to pass through darkness with hope.
Our churches really need how to deal with grief, it's so sad to see families shattered by pain with no one knowing how to really connect and help.
Im taking your advise of writing "Psalms" for people at my church to give voice to their pain. I remember I did something for a girl named "Moriah", who also died in her mother's womb to help the family give a voice to this excrutiating pain.
Thanks for Clint for his honesty and invitation to wrestle with God, for ourselves and in the name of others.
PS. Hope we had these resources in Spanish.
This book is such a blessing, as Scripture gives believers words for their pain, this book gives people words to pass through darkness with hope.
Our churches really need how to deal with grief, it's so sad to see families shattered by pain with no one knowing how to really connect and help.
Im taking your advise of writing "Psalms" for people at my church to give voice to their pain. I remember I did something for a girl named "Moriah", who also died in her mother's womb to help the family give a voice to this excrutiating pain.
Thanks for Clint for his honesty and invitation to wrestle with God, for ourselves and in the name of others.
PS. Hope we had these resources in Spanish.
April 24, 2024
My only regret is not having read this sooner.
Things to remember:
God is not put off by your honesty. He permits your prayers and petitions. He forbids disrespect, but welcomes directness- 'if you had been here our brother would not have died.'
Struggle faithfully, groan boldly, and hurt with hope
Grumbling results in a stubborn refusal to trust God's promises. Grumblers don't care about working things out with the Lord.
Job's friends show formulaic faith is cold and empty.
God covers your groans with grace
Suffering does not negate God's promises
This is My Father's World
-acknowledges the darkness
-recognizes the light
-remembers the gospel
Things to remember:
God is not put off by your honesty. He permits your prayers and petitions. He forbids disrespect, but welcomes directness- 'if you had been here our brother would not have died.'
Struggle faithfully, groan boldly, and hurt with hope
Grumbling results in a stubborn refusal to trust God's promises. Grumblers don't care about working things out with the Lord.
Job's friends show formulaic faith is cold and empty.
God covers your groans with grace
Suffering does not negate God's promises
This is My Father's World
-acknowledges the darkness
-recognizes the light
-remembers the gospel
October 17, 2024
Really good, and very helpful both as someone suffering and someone with friends who are suffering.
May 20, 2025
This is the best book Ive read on grief, suffering and pain, and in particular, lamenting about it to God. Watkins is well aquainted with grief, having lost a child, and shares his intimate journey. The premise of this book is that God not only allows, but wants our lamentations and for us to wrestle with him. He wants our dark thoughts and cries of grief.
"When you page through the bible, you'll be frequently exposed to stories like mine. Prayers of pain puncuate the plotline. Sorrowful saints cry out from the storm. Even heros of faith fall apart. These episodes surprise us because we tend to equate strong faith with confidence and composure. That we ache and sigh and worry even fear, we hide our hurt behind polite spirituality and courageous belief. But dry eyes are not a tell tale sign of strong faith."
The Psalms were the corporate song and prayer book for ancient Israel and over a third of them were lamentations, or heartfelt complaining and wrestling with God. 'Lamenting belongs in in the sanctuary' but our songs are just praises and petitions nowadays. Job lamented and wrestled through his pain for 38 chapters before God responded. Jesus lamented. Why do we modern Christians think its a sign of faithlessness if we question, complain, wrestle with God in our suffering. Watkins argues (convincingly) that it is expected, and wanted by God. Lamenting, begging, weeping etc shows our heart to God and allows him to join in our sorrow and build our faith.
Even John the baptist wrestled with his faith, he sent men to question if Jesus was the messiah. After confirming, Jesus turned and bragged that he was the greatest prophet to ever walk the earth. "John received his highest commendation at his lowest point. Its clear that his wrestling didnt invalidate his faith in Jesus' eyes"
"Grumbling is not lamenting. Grumbling is like gossip, you talk about the person, but not to the person. As we see in the psalms, God invites his peoples complaints."
This is an awesome book, recommend it for anyone who is suffering, grieving or wrestling with their faith.
"When you page through the bible, you'll be frequently exposed to stories like mine. Prayers of pain puncuate the plotline. Sorrowful saints cry out from the storm. Even heros of faith fall apart. These episodes surprise us because we tend to equate strong faith with confidence and composure. That we ache and sigh and worry even fear, we hide our hurt behind polite spirituality and courageous belief. But dry eyes are not a tell tale sign of strong faith."
The Psalms were the corporate song and prayer book for ancient Israel and over a third of them were lamentations, or heartfelt complaining and wrestling with God. 'Lamenting belongs in in the sanctuary' but our songs are just praises and petitions nowadays. Job lamented and wrestled through his pain for 38 chapters before God responded. Jesus lamented. Why do we modern Christians think its a sign of faithlessness if we question, complain, wrestle with God in our suffering. Watkins argues (convincingly) that it is expected, and wanted by God. Lamenting, begging, weeping etc shows our heart to God and allows him to join in our sorrow and build our faith.
Even John the baptist wrestled with his faith, he sent men to question if Jesus was the messiah. After confirming, Jesus turned and bragged that he was the greatest prophet to ever walk the earth. "John received his highest commendation at his lowest point. Its clear that his wrestling didnt invalidate his faith in Jesus' eyes"
"Grumbling is not lamenting. Grumbling is like gossip, you talk about the person, but not to the person. As we see in the psalms, God invites his peoples complaints."
This is an awesome book, recommend it for anyone who is suffering, grieving or wrestling with their faith.
February 22, 2024
In this book, Watkins digs into grief for a Christian and really highlights how Jesus wept and wrestled through grief and we can too. Grief as a Christian can be complicated as we know that God is sovereign even though we don't understand why things happen the way they do. This often leads to a putting on of a face during grief: "We tend to equate strong faith with confidence and composure... Some of the most steadfast believers look at the world through tears and walk with a limp" and "Strong faith involves honest struggle."
A sweet friend from church gave me this book and I cannot recommend it enough. As someone who struggles with emotions this book really helped me recognize that working through grief is a good and worthy thing though it will take time. As Watkins said in relation to the passage in Ecclesiastes 7 that talks about "the house of the wise being in the house of mourning": "the wise do not skip past grief to gladness. Rather, they know that grieving decongests the soul and opens it up to deeper joy." This book helped give me the permission to wrestle with my grief.
A sweet friend from church gave me this book and I cannot recommend it enough. As someone who struggles with emotions this book really helped me recognize that working through grief is a good and worthy thing though it will take time. As Watkins said in relation to the passage in Ecclesiastes 7 that talks about "the house of the wise being in the house of mourning": "the wise do not skip past grief to gladness. Rather, they know that grieving decongests the soul and opens it up to deeper joy." This book helped give me the permission to wrestle with my grief.
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