More to the Story: Deep Answers to Real Questions on Attraction, Identity, and Relationships

by Jennifer M. Kvamme

Helps teens discover the goodness of the Bible’s teaching on sexuality. What does the Bible really say about identity and gender, dating and sex? Are its teachings out of date and repressive? Or are they the way to joy and contentment? Long-time youth worker Jennifer Kvamme knows teens are grappling with these questions. In this book she helps readers cut through the cultural confusion and find answers to questions
Rather than listing dos and don’ts, this book looks at the whole story of God’s love for us to give readers an essential backdrop for the Bible’s teachings on sexuality. It will help you navigate wisely complex issues around dating, sex, and gender. You’ll not only learn how to honor Jesus in this area of life, but why he can be trusted to bring the kind of lasting joy and contentment that “sexual freedom” can’t. You'll discover there’s hope even if your experience of sexuality has been painful, complicated, or filled with shame. Each chapter includes reflection questions to help you think through these issues and apply them to your own life, as well as a discussion guide for youth groups. You will be encouraged to trust Jesus with your deepest desires as you follow him in all of life, including your sexuality and relationships.

Genres: Sexuality, Christian

160 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2024

Reviews

[sincerely · Rating 5 out of 5]

FANTASTIC 👏👏👏👏 RTC!

[Matthew Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Christian pastor, I want the young people I care for to have really good answers to the difficult questions they are all asking about sexuality these days. And to be really good answers for today’s teens, they have to be realistic, biblical, confident, joyful, hopeful, comprehensive, concise, and readable. That’s a tall order!

How pleasant it was for me to discover that one of my EFCA friends had written such a book.

Jennifer Kvamme is Student Ministries Catalyst at Centennial Church in Forest Lake, Minnesota. She and I have collaborated on EFCA publications in the past, and when I heard about More to the Story: Deep Answers to Real Questions on Attraction, Identity, and Relationships, I was eager to hear what she had to say.

Jennifer writes as a true friend and wise mentor. She is sensitive to her young readers’ feelings and gentle with past hurts and poor decisions. Life is gritty, confusing, and painful. At the same time, Jennifer is joyful, confident, and unwavering in holding out God’s good design for sexuality. In three opening chapters and then at every turning point across the rest of the book, Jennifer embeds all the biblical teaching on sexuality in the grand storyline of the Scriptures. Sexuality is a grand glimpse of something deeper. There is more to the story. And the ultimate hero of the story gets the credit He deserves for His compassion and redemption. Jesus is fixing what has been broken so that following Him will be worth it all.

More to the Story does it all. I no longer have to point teens to a little library of resources I have assembled to address the long list of questions they have. Jennifer covers the waterfront in concise chapters that each end with meaningful questions for personal reflection. Students that need or want to go deeper can follow the endnotes or read her annotated recommendations for further reading. Youth groups can utilize the well-written discussion guide to jumpstart great conversations. The folks at The Good Book Company have done a beautiful job of laying out the book’s design to undergird its message.

While I’m sure it’s not perfect, I don’t have any real critique to offer. Unlike most books on this topic, I never had to wince as I read it. I never wished that Jennifer had said something differently or “not gone there.” Her counsel is sound, balanced, robust, and hope-giving. It’s even humorous at appropriate times! As all other books on this topic, More to the Story will feel dated at some point, probably frustratingly soon. Life is just getting more complicated. But this book is simply excellent and just what the church needs in our day.

I wish we had this book when our own kids were teens, but I’m glad we have it now. Highly recommended.

Give a copy of More to the Story to every sixteen-year-old you know.

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

What does Scripture have to say about our sexuality? In More to the Story, Jennifer M. Kvamme gives deep answers to real questions on attraction, identity, and relationships.



True Intimacy

What I appreciated most about this book is that it really gets down to the fundamentals of who God created us to be. Kvamme says that our sexuality is actually just a glimpse of something deeper. Sex is supposed to show us, in a tangible way, the love that Jesus has for his people. Our sin makes us out of sync with God’s design. Christ came into the world to show us the reality of true intimacy with God.

I was most interested to read of our three layers of identity. The first is the way that God created you, the second is how God has re-created the believer, and the third is our identity in Christ. These identities are a gift from God to help us see who we are supposed to be.


Wisdom and Wonder

Kvamme carefully teaches on desires, singleness, and intimacy — but what makes this book really stand out is the way that it doesn’t shy away from pornography. Kvamme shares strategies to help: recognize the root, recreate habits, enlist help, and look to Jesus. With the power of the Holy Spirit, there is hope for those who are hurting or broken — including those who have been abused.

Kvamme concludes with encouragement: It is worth it to get to know Jesus and submit your sexuality to him. Perfect for teens and a great resource for parents and pastors — this book champions the wisdom and wonder of God in designing us for his glory.


I received a media copy of More to the Story and this is my honest review.

[Heather Kirkpatrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

More to the Story provides biblical answers to a lot of current tough topics. These questions are about discovering your identity, battling desire, pronouns, singleness, sex outside of marriage, gay marriage porn, boundaries in marriage, and sexual abuse. 
I really enjoyed this book. I feel like the author did a great job using Scripture to answer current issues. Bible verses are cited throughout the whole book, so readers can look everything up and dive deeper. I also like how the writer includes reflection questions, group discussion questions, and other books to read on many topics. 
I walked into this book not really expecting to learn anything new. But the author taught me something about marriage and identity, for example, that I never thought about:
-That marriage is bigger than ourselves. Marriage between a man and a woman is a symbol for God and His church. That a man’s role to lead and a woman’s role to help/submit are a symbol for God and Jesus. 
- Our identity is something permanent and is rooted in how God created us and our identity in Him. A lot of things are temporary - our role as a parent, a spouse, our jobs. 
I felt like this book would have been great to read as a teenager, especially as I struggled with boundaries in dating. Even though I felt at times that this book was geared towards that age group, I think it would be great for anyone to read. Even if you personally are not dealing with any of these struggles yourself, you probably know someone who is. 

Thank you to The Good Book Co for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Brad Hough · Rating 5 out of 5]

5.0 // This is my new go-to recommendation for teens (and their parents) who are asking questions about what it means to live faithfully as Christians when it comes to their identity, sexuality, and gender. This is an absolutely fantastic book. Jennifer Kvamme writes with grace and compassion, and she does not shy away from the reality that following Jesus involves costly submission to His commands, which are ultimately for our good. I wish I had this book when I was a teenager. And I’m so thankful to have it as a resource from now on.

[Mirandashel · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best I’ve read on the topic so far—nuanced and yet clear, hopeful and gentle yet solid. A challenging task the author accomplishes well imo.

[Hope · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great resource full of scripture and great discussion questions.

[Sarah Robbins · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐ Great book on sexuality for adolescents. Very timely and in touch with the audience. Quick read for a parent to preview, and available on Hoopla.

[Sherri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is fantastic! I recommend it for everyone who works with youth. I’ve been looking for a resource that disciples students sexuality and points them to Jesus This book is it. Kvamme addresses important issues with Biblical integrity and without a list of rules. This would be a great book for high school or college students to study together.