Your Pocket Therapist: Break Free from Old Patterns and Transform Your Life

by Annie Zimmerman

From psychotherapist and TikTok personality Dr. Annie Zimmerman comes a toolkit to transform yourself and your relationships, with advice on how to heal past trauma, build sustainable connections, and take ownership of your mental health. Every day, psychotherapist Dr. Annie Zimmerman meets clients in her private London practice who are struggling with their lives. They’re committed to achieving personal growth, making changes—but they’re struck at the question stage. They ask Why can’t I sleep? Why do I keep going back to a bad relationship? Why did I lose my temper? What is wrong with me? Here’s the nothing is wrong with them. It’s just that they’re asking themselves the wrong questions. In Your Pocket Therapist , Dr. Zimmerman helps readers delve into their past to identify old, unhelpful patterns and teach them how to unlock the present. The book combines practical tools with anecdotes gleaned from the therapy room, distilling complex psychological concepts with her signature warmth and empathy. Her belief—galvanized by her hundreds of thousands of followers—is that if we learn to understand the roots of our suffering, we can bring about meaningful—and permanent—change in our lives. It comes down to learning how to ask the right questions. A brilliant, necessary toolkit for those who want to break free from past patterns and embrace a life of abundant self-awareness and connection, Your Pocket Therapist is an absolute must-read in the field of psychology. 

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Personal Development, Health, Audiobook

336 pages, Hardcover

First published January 9, 2024

Reviews

[Talkincloud]

Wyjaśnienie trudnych pojęć i procesów w sposób przystępny to sztuka, a autorce tej książki bez wątpienia udało się ją opanować. Kluczową rolę odgrywają tutaj opisy doświadczeń jej pacjentów/klientów, które są starannie dobrane, by dotykać uniwersalnych tematów. Poruszane zagadnienia obejmują m.in. traumy i trudności z nimi związane, lęk, stany lękowe, depresję oraz problemy w budowaniu bliskich relacji i związków. Jeśli ktoś boryka się z którymś z tych obszarów, znajdzie w tej książce odpowiedzi na swoje pytania lub przynajmniej wskazówki, które pomogą ruszyć dalej.

Oczywiście żadna książka nie zastąpi relacji z psychoterapeutą. Jednak dla tych, którzy szukają sposobów na samopomoc lub chcą zrozumieć, od czego zacząć, "Twój kieszonkowy terapeuta" to idealna propozycja. Nie jest to jednak lektura do biernego czytania – żeby odczuć jej realny wpływ, trzeba wykonać pracę. Zmiana nie następuje ot tak, ale jestem przekonany, że trzymając się wskazówek autorki, można wiele w sobie zrozumieć, rozwinąć i zmienić. A już na pewno perspektywa na niektóre sprawy ulegnie poszerzeniu.

Dzięki tej książce lepiej zrozumiałem niektóre praktyki i zachowania swojego terapeuty. Choć nie było to dla mnie niezbędne, lektura pozwoliła mi jeszcze bardziej zaufać naszej wspólnej pracy i upewnić się, że jestem w dobrych rękach. Tego samego życzę wszystkim czytelnikom. Warto poświęcić czas na znalezienie osoby, która z wami zarezonuje, bo inwestycja w swoje zdrowie psychiczne zwraca się po stokroć – gwarantuję.

[DesanaRose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was so excited when I got the okay to read this book.
Mental health is so important, and I wanted to see what this book had to offer.
I also thought it would be a genius idea to have this book conveniently at my disposal for advice.
One of the best things i got out of this book was "To feel your Feelings."
I highly recommend this book to anyone who is starting their journey to heal themselves.
Thank you, Annie Zimmerman and Netgalley, for allowing me to read this book.

[Debbie L · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book, full of wisdom, insight, humour and compassion.
It's written in a such a clear, easy to understand style. It's so insightful in explaining why we struggle as we do, and how we can change our lives for the better. I loved the stories, and genuinely couldn't put the book down. I read it from cover to cover in one sitting!
I learned so much about myself and my relationships and it has genuinely changed my life for the better.

[Josefin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book at least once because it is told so wonderfully simply. With her examples, you understand exactly what she is trying to convey, and she makes it so accessible, not only through her patients but also through her thought processes, showing that she is just a human and a patient as well.

[Codi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am in LOVE with this book!! I struggled so much with the fact that it was on my kindle and not a physical copy because I really wanted to annotate and mark so many things. Not only will this book be one that I will purchase a physical copy of, it will help me personally and help me with my current and future career. I have recently been working in therapy myself so this book is so helpful and one that I will return to when I am in between appointments. The title of pocket therapist is SO accurate and I CANNOT WAIT for the release of this!!

[Francisco Valente · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an important book and a must-read if you want to understand yourself more deeply and take real steps toward improving your life. No other book (or anything else, really) has made me reflect and analyze myself and my life so much.

The book is divided into two main parts. The first focuses on the self and common mental health struggles, such as anxiety, depression, or self-criticism. The second turns to relationships — particularly romantic relationships — exploring how we feel and behave at their different stages (before, during, and after) and the struggles we go through, with some focus on attachment styles.

The whole book is very insightful and useful (offering practical advice) while also being highly engaging. In the introduction, the author states that "this is the book I wish everyone would read before starting therapy or any healing journey."  While I strongly agree, I also believe it will benefit anyone.

I'm pretty sure I will return to many parts of this book often. That said, I did find the author's perspective leaned a bit too heavily on Freudian psychoanalysis. For balance, I think I need some Adlerian reading next.

[Sanam Sanghera · Rating 5 out of 5]

This really made me think. I think its a truly great book which really helps understand why we are the way we are.

[Adrian Dumitru · Rating 5 out of 5]

SA O CITESTI!!!!😺😸😽🙀

[Poppy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I normally begin each book by reading the content to see the overall topics the book will be discussing. I think I would only relate to a few topics but I was wrong.

The first part of the book was divided into depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, and self-criticism. Me being familiar with depression thought I would get so much out of this chapter. I did. But apparently, I also related to every topic available. At first I thought I have many problems more than I realized and there is something wrong with me. However, when I really think about it and do some exercise like the book suggested, I discovered some root causes. Everything starts somewhere. Depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, and self-criticism are how we react and response to the root causes. Each person reacts differently. In my case, it’s a bit of everything. Not mainly because I have many problems, but because I response to root causes in a different way. People have their own problems they have to deal with and everyone grows up in a different environment. It’s only normal that everyone has different experiences.

The latter part of the book discusses relationships. I thought I could read through it quickly. It’s anything but. Although they mainly focused on romantic relationships, I found that they can be applied to any type of relationship whether it’s with friends or families. I’d highly suggest everyone to read all of it. It was such a self-discovery experience for me and it provided me with some help I’d never thought I needed. And just take your time reading and reflecting on your own.

[Su · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before this book, I came across her from Instagram Reels. Those are bite sizes digestible information but nth more than this.

I read this book and I enjoy wholeheartedly. It covers a range of topics with cases as examples making heavy topics lighter.

[Angie Bennett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of helpful advice on how to look at situations and how to grow/change.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Tavs kabatas psihoterapeits” man bija kā silta saruna ar kādu, kurš patiešām saprot. Grāmata piedāvā daudz vērtīgu atziņu, kas palīdz apstāties un paskatīties uz sevi un savām sajūtām ar lielāku līdzjūtību un sapratni. Īpaši palika prātā doma, ka “rūpes par sevi ir veids, kā parūpēties par kādu, ko mīli.” Tā vienkārši, bet ļoti trāpīgi.

Lasot atskārtu, cik bieži mēs noticam visam, ko jūtam vai domājam, un cik dziedinoši ir atcerēties: “ja jūs kaut kā jūtaties, tas vēl nenozīmē, ka tā ir patiesība.” Grāmatā ir arī dziļākas pārdomas par to, kas virza mūsu izvēles un ilgas, piemēram: “tam, pēc kā tiecamies, pamatā ir mūsu ievainojumi; tam, ko mēs izvēlamies, pamatā ir mūsu vērtība.”

Ne viss ir jauna informācija, drīzāk gan svarīgs un cilvēcīgs atgādinājums, kuru ir vērts paņemt līdzi arī turpmāk.

[jaroiva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kniha, která je prostě nápomocná, není to ke čtení, ale k opakovanému pročítání.

[bdr0 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is one of the best therapy books I've read so far. It has examples of people dealing/healing with their issues and a lot of painfully relatable topics, somehow exactly the ones I needed to deal with.
By now I've been in therapy for years and this book managed to stil be quite eye opening for me

[Annet Pijper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Als ik als therapiefan en klinisch docent & pedagoog één boek mag aanraden aan iedereen die ook maar iets wil leren over mental health, dan is het deze. Zo fijn en invoelend geschreven, toegankelijk voor iedereen en stelt het precies zoals het is. Geweldig. 🙏🏼

[Aleksandra Chrzęst · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even though, I read quite few psychological books, this one helped me get to know some new things about myself. The book is written in an easy language, which is pleasant to read. It contains average of one exercise per chapter, what is not overwhelming and lets stick with doing them. Well-recommended - not only for newbies!

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one to reread for sure!

[Bbecca_marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you so much partner @bibliolifestyle @deystreet for my gifted copy and the chance to review it honestly.

If you’re trying to lean into self help books this year, this is the one you need! It’s easy to follow and truly sets you up for success. Dr. Annie Zimmerman gives you the tools that are practical to look into why you’re feeling a certain way and how you may be coping with these feelings that may not be obvious to you. It’s very well written and I can’t stress enough how easy to understand it is. The book is like therapy for beginners and will be beneficial to many. This is our year for self love, boundaries, and coming into our better selves. This book provides so much insight and guidance. Your Pocket Therapist was published 1/9/24 and is out now!

Happy reading

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Your Pocket Therapist by Dr. Annie Zimmerman is like having a mental health coach in your pocket. It’s full of practical, easy-to-use tips for handling stress, anxiety, or just navigating everyday ups and downs.

Dr. Zimmerman makes therapy concepts super approachable—she breaks them into small, doable steps and pairs them with real-life examples that actually make sense. Her tone is warm and encouraging, so it feels more like chatting with a trusted friend than reading a textbook.

Whether you need a quick tip to calm anxiety or strategies for long-term emotional balance, this book has you covered. It’s flexible, relatable, and a really helpful companion for anyone looking to take better care of their mental well-being.

[Lara Greyling · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe this book is a must-have for any bookshelf! The book sheds light on many emotional events we experience, helping to bring clarity and understanding. It delves deeply into trauma and its effects on the nervous system, and explores difficult childhood moments, offering valuable insights into current behaviors.

In our complex world, emotions can be hard to understand. This book teaches you to validate your feelings and better understand yourself. It's a guide to navigating life's challenges with greater awareness and meaning.

I highly recommend "Your Pocket Therapist" for anyone seeking a deeper connection with themselves and their relationships. It’s a resource I’ll revisit during tough times, as it has provided me with comfort and enlightenment :)

[Dawn Limitsios · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book. So insightful. I've already recommended it to anyone who will listen.

[Caroline H · Rating 3 out of 5]

reading this was like having someone hold your hand as you walk to an appointment with a therapist. like they give you a lot of ideas to play with or discuss and some strategies to act on. much to think about in therapy.

[E]

Just won this book through Goodreads giveaway page- thanks for picking me!

[Arda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely had to put this down multiple times. But a good introductory tool into self exploration.

[jules · Rating 5 out of 5]

"We lose parts of ourselves when we lose people, whether its a romantic relationship, a friendship or someone who has died. we don't feel whole without them."

I picked this book up by chance in my local bookshop, and I'm so glad I did. Annie Zimmermann describes this book as a book "I wish everyone would read before starting therapy or any healing journey. It's the book I wish I'd had before I started." and I think she's absolutely correct about that. Therapy has always seemed like this unknown scary thing that many recommend but unless you go to therapy, you don't really know how it works, what works, what even happens there. Meanwhile this book eases you into the concept of therapy and shows you what it can do for you. Halfway through I even wished that I could sit opposite of Annie and just share my feelings with her. The book is a love letter to therapy and even makes me co-sign it by the end.

The book itself is split into two parts: The Self and Relationships. We're also not alone in the chapters of the book. In each chapter, we get to witness a fictional patient struggling with the current topic. We get to see how they struggle through the therapist's perspective, watching with the therapist as the patient discovers new things about themselves and learns how to better cope. Not every story is a success story, but we see the work put in it, which motivates ourselves wanting to put in some work as well. During the patients story, we're met with explanations, exercises, tips and recommendations.

The first part, The Self, talks about yourself, depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction and self criticism. It doesn't talk about everything the way I expected it to be talked about. The small traumas that were still traumatising for us and that it doesn't gloss over those small things. The chapter on addiction started with the addiction to work, showing us the many different possibilities of how addiction can manifest itself.

In the second part, Relationships, she goes through the phases of being single, before a relationship, during and then after. Besides me anticipating I won't really be able to relate to three of those sections, I was surprised on how much I could find myself in there, because it's any kind of relationship that could show those patterns. I, as someone who had her worst experiences with friends, was glad she made it clear that everything mentioned there can be applied to partners, friends and family.

Throughout the entire book, you can feel the compassion. The author goes to therapy as well, tells us about how she struggled with her problems, mentions how some of those things affect her in her life too. The most important policy I have when reading any kind of self help, mental help or counselling book is that the author needs to like humans and humanity. Annie Zimmerman really likes humans, I think, despite making me cry like no book ever has. I have the urge to shove this book towards any and all of my friends as well. I recommend it, and I recommend getting it as a physical copy too, because working through it, marking (almost every page), noting things down just feels right with this book.

[Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like the first sentence after the TOC page vii “All patient stories are fiction.”

Five Key Steps (Page 7-8)
1. Get curious
2. Understand
3. Feel
4. Act
5. Repeat

This is not a technical book. It’s not filled with citations. It is a book to help people work through their emotions. It reminds me of attachment theory. Somehow, I like it better than most relationship books that I have read.

I like the layout - main points are clearly set off from the rest of the text. They are often enclosed, set off on a page by themself.

Heading: “The antidote to addiction is connection”
“The more vulnerable you are with safe people (i.e. the people who can bear and hold your vulnerability), the more connected you will feel. This is what happens in therapy: slowly people start to rely on their therapist and show their pain underneath. The therapist, unlike their parents, does not judge or reject them; they support and accept them. This is what heals. We cannot heal alone; healing happens in relationships.” (Page 107)

Heading: “Why do kids blame themselves?”
“I'm going to introduce you to what I think is one of the most important concepts in psychology. It is the thing that makes it so hard to think of our childhoods as anything less than perfect, and also the thing that makes so many of us deeply critical of ourselves. It is called 'the moral defense', first explained by psychiatrist Ronald Fairbairn in 19431 Children are hurt by their parents will usually blame themselves. This is actually a very clever survival adaptation that keeps the bond with our parents strong. Because we need them to keep us alive, our mind doesn't want to think of them as being bad. This means that when we are treated badly, we assume it's our fault, that we are bad, because thinking of our parents as bad is far too frightening for our survival. We need them to be good in order to feel safe.” (Page 125)

“As I began studying psychology, with a string of failed relationships under my belt, I came to learn that the movies were wrong: the hard part starts after the first kiss, after the rose-tinted glasses come off and the honey-coated naivety of the honeymoon phase ends. t remember once saying to a partner in the early days, 'There is honestly nothing I would change about you,' only to find myself, after a few years, desperate to change most things about them because we were entirely incompatible and most of their behaviors triggered me.”
“Relationships are complex, and many of us enter them thoroughly unequipped for the challenges that are about to ensue.” (Page 137)

Heading: “You'll never be finished, and that's OK”
“Healing is never really done. You never fully understand yourself or battle all your demons. You're never finished, and that is part of the beauty of it. Different lessons will come to you at different times in your life — some problems presented in this book might be relevant to you now, others might be relevant in ten years. As long as you stay curious and open to understanding yourself, you)re on the right track.”
“You might have read all this and imagined that I have it all figured out. It's taken me a long time to learn the lessons in this ” (Page 314) book, and even then, after years of therapy and studying to be a psychotherapist, I still struggle with a lot of it. We are all human and therefore necessarily imperfect and vulnerable. Even the person you think has it all sussed will have their insecurities.”
“Healing is not something you complete. Many years into therapy, I'm still having a-ha moments, pushing away difficult feelings, denying my vulnerability, struggling to speak up, messing up in relationships. Knowing all of this is not a short cut for going through the process of healing; in fact, sometimes it makes it more complicated because you think you understand something intellectually, but emotionally you're not there yet.” (Page 315)

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful book that explores the benefits of therapy to unlock emotions and trauma in your past that might be causing you stress in your present day life. I enjoyed learning about the [fictionalized] archetype clients, who were dealing with attachment issues, anxiety, and addiction. The author is a psychoanalyst, so she relies heavily on talking through your emotions and relating them to you childhood. Talking about your problems and identifying events in your childhood that maybe set up patterns in your life choices is not a one-size, fits-all solution, but ultimately, I thought that this had some good ideas in it as well as serving as a champion for the benefits of therapy.

[Emma Dukes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed, I cried, I highlighted, and I will be going back to this book. I felt all sorts of emotions reading this book. A lot of this book spoke to me. I found it helpful in my journey or reflecting and healing. As Annie writes, healing is never finished.

[juls · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a really good book if you're just beginning your journey with psychology and/or would like to understand yourself a little bit better. But if you study psychology or have already read tons of books about this topic, it won't be life changing and after some time it might turn out to be a bit boring.

[Sāra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Es šo grāmatu ieteiktu izlasīt ikvienam. Man patīk tas, cik viegli lasāma tā ir :) Un tā nav pilna ar svešvārdiem :)) Noteikti noderīgi būtu viņu nopirkt un izlasīt vēlreiz (līmējot līmlapiņas sev “svarīgākajās” vietās, lai varētu vairākas reizes tur atgriezties, un pārlasīt).