What do you think?
Rate this book
Serge Storms #16
The Riptide Ultra-Guide
Now that they have some unexpected free time, freshly unemployed Wisconsinites Patrick and Barbara McDougal are going to treat themselves to a modest vacation in sunny Florida. Sitting poolside at a pretty motel, theyre going to drown their sorrows in those fruity umbrella drinks. But the motel they arrive at isnt quite the pastel paradise they saw on the web. Refused a refund and tight on money, they have no choice but to stay. Being Midwesterns, theyll make the best of a bad situation. Except whenbad goes to worse. Theyre robbed and everything is gone, including the ID they need to get on a plane and go back home. Plus, theyre so broke they cant even take a bus. Too bad the police are no help. Theyre more intimidating than the criminals. Stranded and alone, Pat and Barb need someone to rescue them. Someone to show them a bright spot. Someone to make the evildoers darkening the good name of the Sunshine state pay. Someone who has the courage, the knowledge, and the all-out crazy to make these nice Midwestern tourists believe in Florida again. That someone is who else? Serge Storms. Welcome to Paradise!
Audiobook
First published January 22, 2013
109 people are currently reading
1297 people want to read
About the author
Tim Dorsey
36 books1,645 followersTim Dorsey was born in Indiana, moved to Florida at the age of 1, and grew up in a small town about an hour north of Miami called Riviera Beach. He graduated from Auburn University in 1983. While at Auburn, he was editor of the student newspaper, The Plainsman.
From 1983 to 1987, he was a police and courts reporter for The Alabama Journal, the now-defunct evening newspaper in Montgomery. He joined The Tampa Tribune in 1987 as a general assignment reporter. He also worked as a political reporter in the Tribune’s Tallahassee bureau and a copy desk editor. From 1994 to 1999, he was the Tribune’s night metro editor. He left the paper in August 1999 to write full time.
From 1983 to 1987, he was a police and courts reporter for The Alabama Journal, the now-defunct evening newspaper in Montgomery. He joined The Tampa Tribune in 1987 as a general assignment reporter. He also worked as a political reporter in the Tribune’s Tallahassee bureau and a copy desk editor. From 1994 to 1999, he was the Tribune’s night metro editor. He left the paper in August 1999 to write full time.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 229 reviews
July 8, 2019
"How many times have you heard the cliché 'I've lived in New York City my whole life but have never been up the Empire State Building,' or 'Born and raised in Possum Shoals but never seen that woman's goiter shaped like Wayne Newton.' I mean to change all that! Show people the possibilities of what's right under their noses each week by moving from town to town, getting into jams, meeting strangers, lending them help from the goodness of our hearts."
"Helping them how?"
"Out of the jams we've gotten them into. It's only polite."
And, Serge is nothing if not polite. Just make sure you're polite as well, or Serge may be forced to pay a little visit to the Home Depot . . .
Take this scenario that you've probably experienced yourself: a woman is holding up the line at the customer service desk because instead of telling the clerk her problem, she's yakking on her cell phone.
Serge tapped the woman on the shoulder.
She turned around. Into the phone: "Hold on a second, some jerk . . ."
She looked up: "What?"
"I couldn't help but overhear," he said. "Because I was placing my ear real close trying to overhear. My name is Serge Storms, and I wander from town to town helping people. I don't do it for the thanks, just the satisfaction of seeing a person tearfully realize that someone else out there truly cares. But how do I help? you ask. By sharing invaluable pointers that will revolutionize your life! Could be as simple as which technical college fits your strengths, or a slight fashion correction that will land you the big promotion. Friends and relatives could easily do the same, but they'd be jealous of your success. In your case, I've already customized my program to pinpoint everything that's holding you back from the cover of Fortune. Ready? You shouldn't spend so much time on the phone if your're shaped like a hippo."
Serge stepped back with a giant grin.
An astonished gasp. "How dare you?"
"Because I care," said Serge. "And if that tube top ever gives way, you're going to kill at least five people."
Ah . . . if real life were only like this!
The plot? (Does it even matter?) It's something about fake Oxycontin clinics. Throw in a sweet couple of laid-off teachers from Wisconsin who are having the worst vacation ever, and you've got yourself a book.
As an added bonus, Coleman, Serge's perpetually baked sidekick, attains a cult-like following when his visage appears on the cover of High Tides magazine. Florida stoners in dazed droves begin to recognize him, and beg for nuggets of his drug-fueled wisdom. Coleman, who's normally dumber than a bag o' hammers, becomes suddenly erudite when discussing his favorite subject:
"If you've secured some primo 'shrooms or peyote buttons, select the type of sunscreen that has an amphibious moisturizing agent, which retards porous excretion, hence retaining the psychoactive ingredient for a more prolonged and potent ride."
Yeah. What him says.
"Helping them how?"
"Out of the jams we've gotten them into. It's only polite."
And, Serge is nothing if not polite. Just make sure you're polite as well, or Serge may be forced to pay a little visit to the Home Depot . . .
Take this scenario that you've probably experienced yourself: a woman is holding up the line at the customer service desk because instead of telling the clerk her problem, she's yakking on her cell phone.
Serge tapped the woman on the shoulder.
She turned around. Into the phone: "Hold on a second, some jerk . . ."
She looked up: "What?"
"I couldn't help but overhear," he said. "Because I was placing my ear real close trying to overhear. My name is Serge Storms, and I wander from town to town helping people. I don't do it for the thanks, just the satisfaction of seeing a person tearfully realize that someone else out there truly cares. But how do I help? you ask. By sharing invaluable pointers that will revolutionize your life! Could be as simple as which technical college fits your strengths, or a slight fashion correction that will land you the big promotion. Friends and relatives could easily do the same, but they'd be jealous of your success. In your case, I've already customized my program to pinpoint everything that's holding you back from the cover of Fortune. Ready? You shouldn't spend so much time on the phone if your're shaped like a hippo."
Serge stepped back with a giant grin.
An astonished gasp. "How dare you?"
"Because I care," said Serge. "And if that tube top ever gives way, you're going to kill at least five people."
Ah . . . if real life were only like this!
The plot? (Does it even matter?) It's something about fake Oxycontin clinics. Throw in a sweet couple of laid-off teachers from Wisconsin who are having the worst vacation ever, and you've got yourself a book.
As an added bonus, Coleman, Serge's perpetually baked sidekick, attains a cult-like following when his visage appears on the cover of High Tides magazine. Florida stoners in dazed droves begin to recognize him, and beg for nuggets of his drug-fueled wisdom. Coleman, who's normally dumber than a bag o' hammers, becomes suddenly erudite when discussing his favorite subject:
"If you've secured some primo 'shrooms or peyote buttons, select the type of sunscreen that has an amphibious moisturizing agent, which retards porous excretion, hence retaining the psychoactive ingredient for a more prolonged and potent ride."
Yeah. What him says.
June 1, 2019
“Because it’s a reality show. You have to fake a lot of stuff.”
I pick up Tim Dorsey’s Serge A. Storms series for a nice diversion, usually in warm sweaty weather and near water. There are almost 20 books (as of now) in this series and some are good, some are not. #16 in the series, “The Riptide Ultra-Glide” is not the worst I have encountered, but it is not all that great either.
This text can be very funny. Mr. Dorsey still has the knack for dry verbal humor, and his dialogue for Serge can be hysterical! Truly, laugh out loud.
But in this novel Dorsey does a lot of telling, and almost no showing. A mark of weak writing. As mentioned, the dialogue is the book’s strong suit, the narrative however is not good. The plot for the text is flimsy and does not hold up for the book’s length, and the last 100 pages prove this as they are significantly weaker than the previous 194.
I read this series for what it is, and thus even when I encounter a stinker I am not all that upset. And I got some good advice, as the protagonist advises someone in the book, “Wear sunscreen, don’t do heroin”.
I actually got sunburned while reading this book.
Should have listened!
Next time!
I pick up Tim Dorsey’s Serge A. Storms series for a nice diversion, usually in warm sweaty weather and near water. There are almost 20 books (as of now) in this series and some are good, some are not. #16 in the series, “The Riptide Ultra-Glide” is not the worst I have encountered, but it is not all that great either.
This text can be very funny. Mr. Dorsey still has the knack for dry verbal humor, and his dialogue for Serge can be hysterical! Truly, laugh out loud.
But in this novel Dorsey does a lot of telling, and almost no showing. A mark of weak writing. As mentioned, the dialogue is the book’s strong suit, the narrative however is not good. The plot for the text is flimsy and does not hold up for the book’s length, and the last 100 pages prove this as they are significantly weaker than the previous 194.
I read this series for what it is, and thus even when I encounter a stinker I am not all that upset. And I got some good advice, as the protagonist advises someone in the book, “Wear sunscreen, don’t do heroin”.
I actually got sunburned while reading this book.
Should have listened!
Next time!
May 7, 2019
The Riptide Ultra-Glide: A Novel (Serge Storms) by Tim Dorsey
What should be on everyone’s lips is not “What’s up with Florida” but rather, what is up with this series. I have always loved this series for its irreverent look at life and death. Looking at life through Serge and Coleman’s eyes has always been such a pleasure. These books have always reminded me of Carl Hiaasen’s books but nuttier - a tad cruder. I have always loved them; but lately, they seem to be more of a mishmash of crime and history more than anything else and with “The Riptide Ultra-Glide” you don’t even get a satisfactory ending. I really tried not read this with a tight butt attitude, but…
This book is less about the usual ingenious killings of those that *might* need killing and the usual fish-out-of-water vacationers, and more about unnecessary swearing, gratuitous drugs and a level of vindictiveness that I don’t remember from previous books.
We have a drug war going on among other things, a war that is between the so-called Kentucky Mafia or the Hillbilly Mafia and the Mexicans. We have vacationers from Wisconsin, who are so naïve and sweet that you may just want to knock them upside their heads, and we have various stoners following Coleman around wanting his autograph.
The vacationers, Pat and Barb, have just been laid off from the school they teach at and they feel they deserve a vacation before they go on to the next phase of their lives and the next job. They make reservations in a part of Florida that they have not researched and haven’t been to since the husband Pat, was six years old, and they did no research on the motel they are staying at. The vacation deteriorates quite quickly. And, it just keeps on going down-hill fast to the point that you really need to suspend your disbelief to a point that you may feel uncomfortable with.
What we do not have is very much of a story, which is somewhat normal for Tim’s books. However, I have never seen anything in his repertoire as disjointed and slap-dash as this novel. The book really doesn’t even get really interesting until you hit about 75% mark.
Perhaps I have just grown out of my liking of overly wacky novels with characters that just burst from the pages, but I don’t think so.
*ARC supplied by publisher*
What should be on everyone’s lips is not “What’s up with Florida” but rather, what is up with this series. I have always loved this series for its irreverent look at life and death. Looking at life through Serge and Coleman’s eyes has always been such a pleasure. These books have always reminded me of Carl Hiaasen’s books but nuttier - a tad cruder. I have always loved them; but lately, they seem to be more of a mishmash of crime and history more than anything else and with “The Riptide Ultra-Glide” you don’t even get a satisfactory ending. I really tried not read this with a tight butt attitude, but…
This book is less about the usual ingenious killings of those that *might* need killing and the usual fish-out-of-water vacationers, and more about unnecessary swearing, gratuitous drugs and a level of vindictiveness that I don’t remember from previous books.
We have a drug war going on among other things, a war that is between the so-called Kentucky Mafia or the Hillbilly Mafia and the Mexicans. We have vacationers from Wisconsin, who are so naïve and sweet that you may just want to knock them upside their heads, and we have various stoners following Coleman around wanting his autograph.
The vacationers, Pat and Barb, have just been laid off from the school they teach at and they feel they deserve a vacation before they go on to the next phase of their lives and the next job. They make reservations in a part of Florida that they have not researched and haven’t been to since the husband Pat, was six years old, and they did no research on the motel they are staying at. The vacation deteriorates quite quickly. And, it just keeps on going down-hill fast to the point that you really need to suspend your disbelief to a point that you may feel uncomfortable with.
What we do not have is very much of a story, which is somewhat normal for Tim’s books. However, I have never seen anything in his repertoire as disjointed and slap-dash as this novel. The book really doesn’t even get really interesting until you hit about 75% mark.
Perhaps I have just grown out of my liking of overly wacky novels with characters that just burst from the pages, but I don’t think so.
*ARC supplied by publisher*
November 3, 2020
The Tim Dorsey, Serge Storms series has lead to some problems in our household...Whenever one of them is a bed stand book, I get a sharp elbow in the side for waking my wife up because I'm giggling throughout his farces...In this one, we have Serge and Coleman running around Florida with the idea of creating a new reality show...They cross paths with a "Wisconsin Nice" couple, recently laid off from their teaching jobs escaping to warmer climes and two drug cartels competing over scam pain/pill markets in Florida and Kentucky...Off-the-Wall great stuff!!!
April 21, 2020
Fun enough quick read with gobs of Floridiana and a touch of Wisconsiniana. Bonus points for mentioning the 2011 protests! Lots of plot twists and creative ways of "eliminating" bad guys.
April 4, 2013
Another insanity filled story from the warped mind of Tim Dorsey. This one wasn't as good as some of his previous ones, but I did like the last 50 or so pages a lot.
There are 3 story lines that eventually intersect. There is Serge and Coleman running around Florida with the idea of creating a new reality show. There is a very nice couple from Wisconsin, who were recently laid off from their teaching jobs; remember the Wisconsin governor who wanted to kill all the unions. And then we have 2 drug running groups that are competing over scam pain/pill clinics.
Each of the stories has some humor to it, but they are all a bit haphazard. I felt like I was jumping around between them without any continuity. There were times I was thinking, "This stuff is crazy, but it might actually happen in Florida."
My favorite of the subplots was how Coleman was revered as a king because he and a friend were on the front cover of a version of High Times. He was sought out for his drug culture wisdom and during those scenes, he was very coherent and sounded extremely intelligent.
The book got good when the 3 stories merged. Serge and Coleman got caught up with the drug gangs, who were after the Wisconsin couple, because of a few cases of mistaken identity. Everything and anything you can imagine happened. The ending was a bit of a twist, almost reminiscent of a Harlan Coben book.
There are 3 story lines that eventually intersect. There is Serge and Coleman running around Florida with the idea of creating a new reality show. There is a very nice couple from Wisconsin, who were recently laid off from their teaching jobs; remember the Wisconsin governor who wanted to kill all the unions. And then we have 2 drug running groups that are competing over scam pain/pill clinics.
Each of the stories has some humor to it, but they are all a bit haphazard. I felt like I was jumping around between them without any continuity. There were times I was thinking, "This stuff is crazy, but it might actually happen in Florida."
My favorite of the subplots was how Coleman was revered as a king because he and a friend were on the front cover of a version of High Times. He was sought out for his drug culture wisdom and during those scenes, he was very coherent and sounded extremely intelligent.
The book got good when the 3 stories merged. Serge and Coleman got caught up with the drug gangs, who were after the Wisconsin couple, because of a few cases of mistaken identity. Everything and anything you can imagine happened. The ending was a bit of a twist, almost reminiscent of a Harlan Coben book.
September 14, 2016
After Electric Baracuda, the Serge A. Storms stories are just not on the same "funny" scale for me. It took me well over half-way into this book before I was really interested in finishing it. There were only a couple laugh out loud moments this time around -- 3 out of 10.
August 2, 2016
Strange, finding oneself rooting for a serial killer priding himself on the virtue he doesn't possess - patience. Some gore, language and sexual reference.
August 25, 2023
This was my first time reading Tim Dorsey and at first I had zero clue what was happening because there were different storylines and I wasn't sure how they were connected. At first, I just didn't care for the characters but the more I read I began to see the comedy. Serge and Coleman were so funny and their thoughts process was quite amusing. I thought it was interesting hearing the story from a serial killer's point of view and the thoughts flowing from Serge's mouth combined with Coleman's lack of thought made the book amusing. This was quite different from all that I have read.
June 3, 2017
I'm still rolling through Florida with Serge and Coleman (this is the 7th book for me) what a ride!! I love revisiting places I've been - Florida City, Key Largo and the Caribbean Club (scary biker bar) and Jupiter Inlet Lighthouse!! The plots are almost secondary, I like the travelogue!! All the stuff Trip Advisor misses!
August 5, 2022
The Riptide Ultra Glide is a dance Serge made up! Fins Up! 🦈
May 10, 2019
If you enjoyed the "Dexter" phenomenon (the books or show), Serge A. Storms is right up your alley!
August 3, 2022
So much fun. If Chuck Palahniuk and Carl Hiaasen had a love child they would write like Tim Dorsey.
July 26, 2014
I won an advanced reader's copy on Goodreads Firstreads.
This book can easily be described as vulgar, crude, and crass, But it also very funny at times.It definitely fall into the ludicrious story type of comedy.But it also is the equivalent of one-liners, with short scenes being thrown together.The first part of the book tends towards the short jokes while the second half of the book reads more of a consistent story.I liked the parts where it didn't seem like scenes just thrown together.
There is a lot of drug use and language in this story.There is also plenty of violence.Truthfully Serge's Rube Golberg style of killing leans more to comedy than gruesomeness.I am not much of a fan of drug humor though so those aspects didn't appeal that much to me.There is a lot of local Florida color throughout the book, but I am not sure it really made me want to visit after seeing what happens to the McDougals.
This is an advanced readers copy so it still needs a little polishing before it is released.There were 2 mistakes that are worth mentioing.Once the McDougals say they came from Pennsylvania when the rest of the time they say Wisconsin.The other time a suitcase switches to a briefcase and back to a suitcase.
The book is funny (but not all of the humor works) especially if you don't mind drug humor, language or violence.If any of those things bother you though, you might want to pass on it.
This book can easily be described as vulgar, crude, and crass, But it also very funny at times.It definitely fall into the ludicrious story type of comedy.But it also is the equivalent of one-liners, with short scenes being thrown together.The first part of the book tends towards the short jokes while the second half of the book reads more of a consistent story.I liked the parts where it didn't seem like scenes just thrown together.
There is a lot of drug use and language in this story.There is also plenty of violence.Truthfully Serge's Rube Golberg style of killing leans more to comedy than gruesomeness.I am not much of a fan of drug humor though so those aspects didn't appeal that much to me.There is a lot of local Florida color throughout the book, but I am not sure it really made me want to visit after seeing what happens to the McDougals.
This is an advanced readers copy so it still needs a little polishing before it is released.There were 2 mistakes that are worth mentioing.Once the McDougals say they came from Pennsylvania when the rest of the time they say Wisconsin.The other time a suitcase switches to a briefcase and back to a suitcase.
The book is funny (but not all of the humor works) especially if you don't mind drug humor, language or violence.If any of those things bother you though, you might want to pass on it.
February 27, 2013
There’s nothing sane about a novel featuring Serge A. Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. There usually is a plot, but the real show is the madcap escapades and far-out situations described. And no less so are the irreverent observations from Serge’s mouth. Too numerous to mention.
As in the former entries in the series, this novel takes place in Florida, giving Serge the opportunity to hold forth on the many locales and highlights of the State. It begins with Serge and Coleman driving down to the Keys, filming what is to be a reality show on a camcorder. And the rest of the book, of course, turns out to be surreal, when a couple of teachers from Wisconsin lose their job and decide to go to the Sunshine State on vacation. Instead they become embroiled in the midst of two gangs fighting for control of drug traffic. It remains for Serge to rescue them.
The novels in this series are not particularly easy reading because much of the time Serge’s observations and comments are so outlandish that the reader has to stop and regroup. But, crazy as it sounds, most of the time they make sense. Nevertheless, a Serge A. Storms novel is always enjoyable. And recommended.
As in the former entries in the series, this novel takes place in Florida, giving Serge the opportunity to hold forth on the many locales and highlights of the State. It begins with Serge and Coleman driving down to the Keys, filming what is to be a reality show on a camcorder. And the rest of the book, of course, turns out to be surreal, when a couple of teachers from Wisconsin lose their job and decide to go to the Sunshine State on vacation. Instead they become embroiled in the midst of two gangs fighting for control of drug traffic. It remains for Serge to rescue them.
The novels in this series are not particularly easy reading because much of the time Serge’s observations and comments are so outlandish that the reader has to stop and regroup. But, crazy as it sounds, most of the time they make sense. Nevertheless, a Serge A. Storms novel is always enjoyable. And recommended.
March 14, 2018
I know I should be bored with these characters and this was not the most original Storms tale but I love these guys! Serge and Coleman are just too much fun. Sure they are a couple of polar opposite wacka-dos but I truly love this team. Coleman as a folk legend stoner and Serge as off his meds and fully caffeinated unlucky history buff that just keep running into the worst . Abbott and Costello for a new generation but with a body count that is ever expanding. Serge is making a reality show and Coleman is well, just being Coleman.
January 31, 2013
Not quite as good as the other novels in the series, as the story of two hapless tourists from Wisconsin is unfolded in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Amusing, but lack of characters from previous books in the series results in just a meh story. Only somewhat recommended at three stars.
For the longer review, please go here:
http://www.epinions.com/review/Tim_Do...
For the longer review, please go here:
http://www.epinions.com/review/Tim_Do...
February 5, 2013
The Serge Storm books used to be fantastically entertaining. The last few, especially When Elves Attack and Riptide Ultra-Glide were just phoned in junk. Dorsey, who has entertained me for a decade, either needs to put Serge to rest or come up with some new ideas...
May 20, 2014
"Wear sunscreen. Don't do heroin."
- Coleman
There's a problem we writers sometimes have. We get bored. Most of the time, at least with me, that boredom stays off the page. It's a very small, contained boredom. This is mainly because this blog is the most I have ever been published. However, with someone like Tim Dorsey, boredom can become a much bigger, more unfocused beast. A beast that threatens sometimes to engulf certain books. Now, Dorsey's no stranger to a slump, of course, but when Tim Dorsey gets bored and his mind starts wandering, especially when Tim Dorsey's mind starts wandering and gets published, the situation is, of course, a bit more dire than when my mind starts wandering. Dorsey's mind results in things like The Riptide Ultra-Glide.
The book is a mishmash of things, never following one character for long, in what I assume was an attempt to get back to the early days of books like Florida Roadkill, where there was no main character and several different plots all together, with no single plot being central. In recent years, Dorsey's grown away from that format (I think the last book was the unofficial first conclusion to the series, Stingray Shuffle), preferring to stick with Serge and Coleman (or sometimes Serge and Lenny, Coleman's replacement) while various things happen around them, all of it coming together in a central thread. It says something that his strongest book in the past four years has been Gator-A-Go-Go, a book where there was a singular plot that held all the attention.
But while it's a perfectly serviceable beach read for the several hours it'll take to read it, I can't recommend The Riptide Ultra-Glide to many people. Readers who wish to experience Dorsey should try any of the numerous other works in his collection. It's readable, but I suggest that only the die-hard actually try reading it, since it seems to have been written for them.
Why? Well, read on...
The Riptide Ultra-Glide tells three stories, all interlocking and interweaving, along with a few random side stories. First, there are Serge and Coleman. Serge has, this time around, decided that his life would make an awesome reality TV show. So he and Coleman grab a Camcorder and start filming the various goings on and local spots Serge wants to tape on his way around his most favorite of states. Naturally, this involves a few key object lessons in being pleasant that some hardened criminals sorely need, and the usual madcap mayhem-and-narcotics that one comes to expect from the Florida Roadkill books. Second, there's the story of Catfish, head of an operation that smuggles pain pills from phony Florida clinics all the way back to his home state. But someone's calling in tips on Catfish's operation, and he has to find a new way of moving pain pills, fast. And finally, an elderly couple from Wisconsin, Pat and Barbara, have decided to vacation in Florida, staying at the picturesque Casablanca Hotel along good old US-1. Which may have changed a little since the last time Pat was there at age six. And slowly, these plot threads start to stretch out...
And then things get weird.
Well, not too weird, at least not for a Tim Dorsey novel. Everything's fairly commonplace for one of those. Paths will cross, people will get in deeper than they ever wanted to, there will be a few twists and turns as people aren't who they say they are, and in the end, our heroes will ride off into the sunset to execute more people in elaborate manners. It's all very formulaic, except...
Except this time, it really isn't all that much. But that's the issue with the book. Well, one of the issues.
You see, there's an art to breaking a formula, just like everything else. If this were a novel entirely about Catfish and the problems faced by his operation, if it were a novel about the tourists, it would be a much different novel, and Serge and Coleman could show up without wrecking the book. But the book is written from a singular focus, and sadly that focus is Serge and Coleman, with the other incidents off to the side. But it isn't content with that. It wants to be all those other books, too. It's like Tim Dorsey tried to write a novel twice before he just gave up and added his two most recognizable characters to the cast.The problem is, he didn't bother clearing up the trails and making the book readable. So what you have are three stories that fail to come together until about the last forty pages or so. Which would be fine in, maybe, about half the books Dorsey's ever written, but it's painfully noticeable here
Also painfully noticeable here is Dorsey's soapboxing. The Florida Roadkill series has always been one where there has been some preaching, from the moment an obnoxious homophobic radio talk show host gets alcohol poured down the wrong end and is forced to beg passersby on the street for an enema (In a show of subtlety, he gets hit by a trolley). But there was always the sense he was more focused on the plot and less focused on the violent deaths of his villains and supporting characters. As the books progressed, the preaching got more obvious, sure, but never to the point where it was in-your-face. In this book, that...changes. We get detailed descriptions of every scam, every dirty little detail of sordid life in Florida, every little thing that tourists have happen to them. It's not presented as part of the story, it's just kind of...presented. Or ranted about. And it kind of takes me out of the story when he does it. When K.W. Jeter did it in Noir, it didn't earn him any great favor with me, and sadly Dorsey doesn't earn any, either.
Which isn't to say that there aren't laugh-out-loud moments. One of the best plots, and it actually should have been a book all on its own, is that Coleman somehow winds up as the stoned guru of an entire group of college kids and various burnouts throughout Florida after an article is run on him in a weed enthusiast magazine. The entire story of how Catfish got his name is actually kind of funny in an escalating-accident kind of way. And Serge's dialogues with Coleman are as fresh as they've ever been. But...well...
But it's not enough to recommend the novel on. It's lacking, it's disappointing, and while it might be fun for fans, I can't recommend it. I know I seem to be saying that a lot, but it's true. People who want to get into Dorsey would be better off reading his earlier works. Take this one to the beach, you might get some laughs out of it, but don't buy this or pick it up thinking it's up to the gonzo standards of his earlier work. It most certainly isn't.
NEXT WEEK:
Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
AND THEN:
Insane City by Dave Barry
Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon
AND MANY OTHERS
March 28, 2024
A rare misfire from the always hilarious Tim Dorsey. In this book, avid Florida fan and wacky vigilante killer Serge Storms wants to turn his life into a reality show, so he and his perpetually stoned sidekick Coleman go zooming up and down U.S. 1 getting footage of bizarre things.
Meanwhile, there are three subplots. One involves naive Wisconsin tourists Barbara and Pat McDougall, who suffer every possible mishap, up to and including jellyfish stings, sunburn and fire ant bites. The second involves fraudulent pain clinics that exist to supply oxy, aka "hillbilly heroin," to the Kentucky Mafia, and a Mexican cartel intent on taking over. The third involves a wolfish dance instructor who's been steadily ripping off his elderly female customers.
Serge, of course, vanquishes both the Kenucky and Mexican cartel bosses as well as the dance instructor (who dies because of a quirky Florida landscape feature known as Spook Hill). But you keep reading about everything that befalls the McDougalls and wondering when Serge and Coleman will show up to save them...and nothing. While there are a series of near-misses, they do not meet up until near the end of the book. Then there's an utterly unbelievable twist that follows, as if Dorsey were just trying to stretch the story out for a few more pages. That was a serious disappointment.
Instead, the highlight comes from an unexpected quarter: Coleman gets his picture on the cover of "High Tides," the Florida version of "High Times" magazine, and worshipful druggies begin to show up and ask him for advice. The idea of Coleman as guru is pretty funny.
Meanwhile, there are three subplots. One involves naive Wisconsin tourists Barbara and Pat McDougall, who suffer every possible mishap, up to and including jellyfish stings, sunburn and fire ant bites. The second involves fraudulent pain clinics that exist to supply oxy, aka "hillbilly heroin," to the Kentucky Mafia, and a Mexican cartel intent on taking over. The third involves a wolfish dance instructor who's been steadily ripping off his elderly female customers.
Serge, of course, vanquishes both the Kenucky and Mexican cartel bosses as well as the dance instructor (who dies because of a quirky Florida landscape feature known as Spook Hill). But you keep reading about everything that befalls the McDougalls and wondering when Serge and Coleman will show up to save them...and nothing. While there are a series of near-misses, they do not meet up until near the end of the book. Then there's an utterly unbelievable twist that follows, as if Dorsey were just trying to stretch the story out for a few more pages. That was a serious disappointment.
Instead, the highlight comes from an unexpected quarter: Coleman gets his picture on the cover of "High Tides," the Florida version of "High Times" magazine, and worshipful druggies begin to show up and ask him for advice. The idea of Coleman as guru is pretty funny.
July 29, 2018
I was VERY close to giving this a 2 star rating. Ultimately it's not quite that bad. But if I were to rate is only among other Serge Storms books, it deffinitly would get a 2 star rating. THE RIPTIDE ULTRA-GLIDE just fell short of delivering the typical non-stop comedic capers of everyone's favorite nefarious Florida tour guide and his perpetually stoned sidekick.
The Serge and Coleman moments were the shining spots in this book. But, the erratic duo just weren't wrapped too tightly in the main plot until close to the end. That made them come off as so much filler and comic relief throughout the rest of the book. Also, there were just certain elements that were missing that we've all come to expect. Very few repeat characters (Lenny shows up for a brief cameo) and not enough tourism madness.
The crime plot is fine but it is also played out with far too much set up. Like I stated already, Serge and Coleman barely figure into the whole scheme until very near the end. Even the double and triplecross at the end didn't really excite me.
In the end, I felt this was a weak offering in the otherwise strong series. Not since Florida Overkill have I been so underwhealmed by a Tim Dorsey book. But hey, they can't all be winners, right? Especially as this is book 16 in the series. If we look at this as a baseball batting average, Dorsey is till batting well over .400! Those are hall of fame number my friends.
The Serge and Coleman moments were the shining spots in this book. But, the erratic duo just weren't wrapped too tightly in the main plot until close to the end. That made them come off as so much filler and comic relief throughout the rest of the book. Also, there were just certain elements that were missing that we've all come to expect. Very few repeat characters (Lenny shows up for a brief cameo) and not enough tourism madness.
The crime plot is fine but it is also played out with far too much set up. Like I stated already, Serge and Coleman barely figure into the whole scheme until very near the end. Even the double and triplecross at the end didn't really excite me.
In the end, I felt this was a weak offering in the otherwise strong series. Not since Florida Overkill have I been so underwhealmed by a Tim Dorsey book. But hey, they can't all be winners, right? Especially as this is book 16 in the series. If we look at this as a baseball batting average, Dorsey is till batting well over .400! Those are hall of fame number my friends.
March 9, 2023
DNF at 71%. Only reason I kept reading it was because I was waiting on another book to come my way at the library. May come back to it someday
I picked this up at my library’s book sale for $0.25 without looking at any reviews. Was very surprised to find it as part of a series when I scanned it to my currently reading bookshelf on goodreads. Nothing on the cover or back indicates it’s a series.
Which would explain why there’s absolutely no backstory to the main characters, Serge and Coleman, who are the worst characters I’ve ever encountered. They do strange “vigilante justice” by murdering multiple people throughout the book. How have they been doing this for 16 books and not been caught?? Coleman is a druggie and if you have no background in drug slang, like me, you will be lost.
The author does a terrible job of describing things in the scene. There were multiple occasions when it’s VAGUELY suggested that something has happened or there’s an item in the scene and it’s only confirmed to actually be there 3 pages later. Like the gift Coleman receives. It’s the coolest thing they’ve ever seen, but the reader doesn’t learn it’s a motorized cooler til pages later. Multiple characters are suggested to be killed and confirmed pages later. I hated it. This isn’t a movie. The reader needs things described to them.
I picked this up at my library’s book sale for $0.25 without looking at any reviews. Was very surprised to find it as part of a series when I scanned it to my currently reading bookshelf on goodreads. Nothing on the cover or back indicates it’s a series.
Which would explain why there’s absolutely no backstory to the main characters, Serge and Coleman, who are the worst characters I’ve ever encountered. They do strange “vigilante justice” by murdering multiple people throughout the book. How have they been doing this for 16 books and not been caught?? Coleman is a druggie and if you have no background in drug slang, like me, you will be lost.
The author does a terrible job of describing things in the scene. There were multiple occasions when it’s VAGUELY suggested that something has happened or there’s an item in the scene and it’s only confirmed to actually be there 3 pages later. Like the gift Coleman receives. It’s the coolest thing they’ve ever seen, but the reader doesn’t learn it’s a motorized cooler til pages later. Multiple characters are suggested to be killed and confirmed pages later. I hated it. This isn’t a movie. The reader needs things described to them.
January 4, 2022
Another nice tale from Serge and Coleman on their excursions in Florida and especially to his hometown. Again, distinct characters to A**holes who get their comeupence with Serge and his home depot solutions to nasty characters, A nice couple Bar and Pat who are from Wisconsin (never forget) and the amazing disasters they face throughout this bizarre character theft and their love for each other, and what was really fun was the legend of Coleman (who thought he was a dumb stoner, not everybody.) who upon being posted on one of the great High Times Mags. becomes a legend in his own times among tribal tokers across florida. Serge has a famous character with him everywhere he goes now. Lots of fun, frolic, but I did not like the Ktky Oxy gang nor the mexican cartel (too repetitive from other publications by Mr. Dorsey. The bantering and fun with the Wisconsonites and Coleman was worth the read though. Thanks again Mr. Dorsey. I am now 4 books away from completing your series.
April 22, 2023
This was my first Tim Dorsey book; I bought a copy for airplane reading.
At first I found the author's attempts to educate readers about Florida trivia through the protagonist's spiels and antics a bit preachy, and the character's propensity for vigilantism a bit over the top. And descriptions of his sidekick Coleman's fan club seem a bit dated and derivative of Doonesbury's Zonker. However the action and plot twists kept me reading and by the end I have to admit I enjoyed it. I suspect being a former Floridian helps; if you never lived in the Sunshine State your mileage may vary.
As has been noted by others, the style can be described as "Hiaasen on meth."
At first I found the author's attempts to educate readers about Florida trivia through the protagonist's spiels and antics a bit preachy, and the character's propensity for vigilantism a bit over the top. And descriptions of his sidekick Coleman's fan club seem a bit dated and derivative of Doonesbury's Zonker. However the action and plot twists kept me reading and by the end I have to admit I enjoyed it. I suspect being a former Floridian helps; if you never lived in the Sunshine State your mileage may vary.
As has been noted by others, the style can be described as "Hiaasen on meth."
May 8, 2019
This book had me LOLing at the dialogue and characters, though I can’t help but feel like I still have no idea what actually happened. I found it interesting how the writing was able to make three or four different story lines converge, albeit confusing. I didn’t realize it was part of a series until I began so I’m sure that had I more background with Serge and Coleman, this would be easier to follow. Certainly a good laugh, and it is one I will recommend to someone who needs a good chuckle at crude humor and random-yet-creative murders.
October 31, 2021
Serge and Coleman are filming their own reality series which is, of course, impossible in Florida even if you are not Serge and Coleman. Many a low-life pay the price for their scams and frauds as Serge attempts to cleanse his beloved state. This series is highly recommended especially if you enjoy rollicking, murderous serial killers. Remember to shop your local, independent bookstores. They need your support.
June 4, 2024
This is like book #15 of the Serge Storm series. If enjoyed every one of Tim Dorsey's books. If it's your first Serge adventure, you might feel like you need a flow chart to help keep track of all of the characters and their stories. I personally love how Dorsey is able to keep everyone's storyline flowing. Serge and Coleman are once again the avenging angels of South Florida. Hold on for another crazy fast paced ride.
December 2, 2020
A Serge and Coleman arrive in a contrived Oxy cartel drug war. What could go wrong in Florida on this adventure? Well, Coleman starts to become a major celebrity and has Serge pondering what has happened to the laws governing the universe. Tim Dorsey always find one struggling to stop somewhere in a Serge travel trip.
January 31, 2022
Having picked up the Serge Storms series at the start of lockdown I soon found myself reading almost a book a day. The silly humour and violent crimes and action make these books fun to read. I especially like how Dorsey always includes fun facts throughout the books, it is clear that he truly loves Florida.
August 26, 2023
It was interesting to see a different side of the character Coleman portrayed in this book. They were also several new facets to the personality of Surge Storm. The story center on a hapless and naive couple enduring a vacation from hell. And, of course, things only got stranger once the 2 main characters, Surge and Coleman, entered the picture. I did find the ending a little unresolved.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 229 reviews