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You Are Not Special
David McCullough, Jr.'s high school commencement address of 2012, dubbed "You Are Not Special," was a tonic for children, parents, and educators alike. With wit and a perspective earned from raising four children and teaching high school students for nearly thirty years, McCullough expands on his speech—taking a hard look at hovering parents, questionable educational goals, professional college prep, electronic distractions, and club sports—and advocates for a life of passionate engagement.
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First published September 15, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 234 reviews
May 8, 2014
This book is a great example of why a brilliant 12-minute speech should not necessarily be turned into a 300-page book.
I love, absolutely adore, McCullough's message. Telling kids they're special to pump up their self-esteem just means that, when they finally hit an obstacle they can't overcome and the world doesn't redefine itself to suit their needs, it's going to be a hard, hard come down. I went through college a bit ahead of the millenials, but helicopter parenting was already a thing, and i watched so many kids crash and burn when they finally had to be accountable for their own performance, their own scheduling and time management. Without mom and dad there to referee their lives as they had for the first 18 years, these kids were basically non-functional.
So yes, McCullough has a good point. Several good points, in fact. I'm glad he made his speech, and i'm glad it went viral. We, as a society, need to heed his words.
But this is one of the most boring books i've ever read.
I love, absolutely adore, McCullough's message. Telling kids they're special to pump up their self-esteem just means that, when they finally hit an obstacle they can't overcome and the world doesn't redefine itself to suit their needs, it's going to be a hard, hard come down. I went through college a bit ahead of the millenials, but helicopter parenting was already a thing, and i watched so many kids crash and burn when they finally had to be accountable for their own performance, their own scheduling and time management. Without mom and dad there to referee their lives as they had for the first 18 years, these kids were basically non-functional.
So yes, McCullough has a good point. Several good points, in fact. I'm glad he made his speech, and i'm glad it went viral. We, as a society, need to heed his words.
But this is one of the most boring books i've ever read.
May 7, 2014
I was very excited to read this book, as I completely agree with the premise: That kids today are over-scheduled, over-managed and over-protected. Many parents, with great intentions, have managed to turn their kids into people who feel that they are entitled to things without earning them - such as respect, job titles, fabulous homes or apartments, etc.
I see my friends post updates on Facebook that they're helping their kids with their homework or running their kids to soccer then to track then to this or that. And I think, when does your child have time to be a kid and when do you have time to do anything else? I think I asked my parents for help on homework maybe once or twice (and the internet didn't exist when I was in school.) And after-school activities ended by 6pm, if not earlier.
I will say, though, that the issue does not lie only with the parents. We have a ridiculous education system in which you are judged by standardized tests. Tell me the last time life through something at you in the form of a standardized test ? Did you use your No. 2 pencil to fix your marriage ? Was your job saved when you demonstrated that you could fill in a Scantron?
However, the book itself was not that enjoyable to read. The writing wanders a great deal and seems to stray from a point often. I am never a fan of writing just to fill space. While I do enjoy conversational style writing, I don't enjoy pages and pages of rambling on when you could have finished it in a couple of paragraphs.
As Mr. McCullough is an English teacher, I know he loves words. A great turn of phrase is something magical. But the writing in this book seldom reaches that point. It's like being stuck in traffic not far from your destination or foreplay that doesn't go anywhere.
In the end, while I agreed with some of his statements, I felt as though this book needed a much better editor to keep it on point. It became more of a stream of consciousness and I found myself putting it aside more often than not.
Cannot recommend.
I see my friends post updates on Facebook that they're helping their kids with their homework or running their kids to soccer then to track then to this or that. And I think, when does your child have time to be a kid and when do you have time to do anything else? I think I asked my parents for help on homework maybe once or twice (and the internet didn't exist when I was in school.) And after-school activities ended by 6pm, if not earlier.
I will say, though, that the issue does not lie only with the parents. We have a ridiculous education system in which you are judged by standardized tests. Tell me the last time life through something at you in the form of a standardized test ? Did you use your No. 2 pencil to fix your marriage ? Was your job saved when you demonstrated that you could fill in a Scantron?
However, the book itself was not that enjoyable to read. The writing wanders a great deal and seems to stray from a point often. I am never a fan of writing just to fill space. While I do enjoy conversational style writing, I don't enjoy pages and pages of rambling on when you could have finished it in a couple of paragraphs.
As Mr. McCullough is an English teacher, I know he loves words. A great turn of phrase is something magical. But the writing in this book seldom reaches that point. It's like being stuck in traffic not far from your destination or foreplay that doesn't go anywhere.
In the end, while I agreed with some of his statements, I felt as though this book needed a much better editor to keep it on point. It became more of a stream of consciousness and I found myself putting it aside more often than not.
Cannot recommend.
April 23, 2016
While this book made some profound points here and there, the overall structure was tedious to read. There were sentences within sentences and it took multiple pages for the author to make a simple point. It's as if the author wrote down every thought he had about a subject without editing it. I like the premise of what he has to say about the idea of treating every child as if they are special and the helicopter parents who raise them as such. But with over 100 books on my To-Read list, I barely made it past 20 pages of the book before I realized I could spend my time reading books that I actually wanted to read.
May 22, 2017
Very insightful especially if you've ever wondered about your teenager. McCullough explores, with spot on accuracy, through a teacher's eyes, the over-scheduled, oblivious, privileged, center of the universe teen and how he got that way. Some of his comments are hilarious and pointed on today's teen and today's society. A must read for any teacher or parent.
February 19, 2018
Book is an elaboration of a graduation speech he delivered. Most of the book was OK, nothing gripping. 2nd to last chapter was my favorite, he connected Stephen Crane's "The Open Boat" to teaching/life. Will definitely read that short story now.
April 21, 2025
I picked up this book because the title intrigued me. It ended up being okay, probably because I picked it up at the wrong time (about to start graduate school unmarried with no kids as opposed to being close to someone about to graduate high school).
October 1, 2014
Ecco uno di quei libri che iniziano a starti sui nervi a pagina 10, ma che vai avanti a leggere fino alla fine per vedere fino a che punto la boria di chi scrive riesce a suscitare crescente irritazione e sospiranti alzate di sopracciglia.
Siamo negli Stati Uniti, il Paese dove tutti hanno successo, sono vincenti, competitivi, affamati (alla Steve Jobs) e benestanti. Il futuro dirigenziale è lì dietro l'angolo ragazzi, mettete un momento da parte il vostro corredo tecnologico Apple e tutto un entourage (vestiti, corsi, vacanze, macchine, moto, ecc.) da ...mila dollari e addentate la vita vera, fatevi le ossa nel mondo! Non temete però, perchè grazie agli insegnamenti di prestigiosi college privati che ci mancherebbe non poteste permettervi, potete solo mantenervi su certi percorsi e uscirne col pollice alzato! Ecco perchè non siete speciali - dovete anche voi... fare la fatica di vivere.
(...)
Il buon McCollough ha insegnato in un liceo di Honolulu. Ci tiene a precisare che per padre ha uno storico famoso più volte pubblicato e che è abituato ad una vita al di sopra di un certo standard. E ci fa piacere per lui. Le sue paternali spaziano da esempi di come lui stesso di solito tiene una lezione, con spunti di incredibile efficacia didattica (a suo dire), ad elogi dei figli, talentuosi fino all'imbarazzante e promessi ad una carriera minimo da CEO.
Ora, cosa può prenderci un ragazzo qualunque, di una qualunque scuola in un qualunque Paese del Normale Resto del Mondo? Ma fai anche del Normale Resto degli USA, che di certo tanto limitato non mi pare sia. Invidia? Mah, no. I ragazzi per fortuna se ne fregano. Io non credo riescano a prenderci un bel niente. L'arroganza non alza il livello d'attenzione, non insegna e non fa riflettere. Anzi, quel minimo che se ne potrebbe ricavare scivola via in mezzo a tante pagine inutili.
Siamo negli Stati Uniti, il Paese dove tutti hanno successo, sono vincenti, competitivi, affamati (alla Steve Jobs) e benestanti. Il futuro dirigenziale è lì dietro l'angolo ragazzi, mettete un momento da parte il vostro corredo tecnologico Apple e tutto un entourage (vestiti, corsi, vacanze, macchine, moto, ecc.) da ...mila dollari e addentate la vita vera, fatevi le ossa nel mondo! Non temete però, perchè grazie agli insegnamenti di prestigiosi college privati che ci mancherebbe non poteste permettervi, potete solo mantenervi su certi percorsi e uscirne col pollice alzato! Ecco perchè non siete speciali - dovete anche voi... fare la fatica di vivere.
(...)
Il buon McCollough ha insegnato in un liceo di Honolulu. Ci tiene a precisare che per padre ha uno storico famoso più volte pubblicato e che è abituato ad una vita al di sopra di un certo standard. E ci fa piacere per lui. Le sue paternali spaziano da esempi di come lui stesso di solito tiene una lezione, con spunti di incredibile efficacia didattica (a suo dire), ad elogi dei figli, talentuosi fino all'imbarazzante e promessi ad una carriera minimo da CEO.
Ora, cosa può prenderci un ragazzo qualunque, di una qualunque scuola in un qualunque Paese del Normale Resto del Mondo? Ma fai anche del Normale Resto degli USA, che di certo tanto limitato non mi pare sia. Invidia? Mah, no. I ragazzi per fortuna se ne fregano. Io non credo riescano a prenderci un bel niente. L'arroganza non alza il livello d'attenzione, non insegna e non fa riflettere. Anzi, quel minimo che se ne potrebbe ricavare scivola via in mezzo a tante pagine inutili.
September 8, 2025
There are several sentiments in this book that struck a chord with me. I liked the book better than the commencement speech that led to the book I think (I read the speech, which is included near the end, and never watched the video of the speech itself). The author cites many of the same literary works I read in high school English classes, and it made me want to to re-read a couple short stories that I read back then (Bartleby the Scrivener, The Open Boat). I was a bit distracted by several sections that cite so many examples in making a point as to constitute overkill in my view. I found I would start glossing over those and would skip to the end of the sentence/paragraph to take it up again.
May 23, 2014
Rich with one-liners and insightful observations. A little awkward with the delivery in spots but still a magnificent commentary on teaching, students, and the contemporary culture of self-absorption where everyone receives a trophy whether they achieved anything or not.
July 15, 2016
I had to adjust to McCullough's wordy writing style but his thoughts reinforce many of the beliefs I have of parenting, education and life.
June 28, 2025
Too long sums up what I didn’t love about this book/graduation address. If it had been half the length, I think the salient points would have been more impactful and the overall message more meaningful. As it is, I was pretty bored and felt lectured to by the end. I don’t even remember the bits I did like.
October 8, 2021
You are not special because everyone is. You only have one life to live so make it count. What are you good at? Where can you make a difference. How can you change the world in only the way that you can. This is a good book for teachers if only our school system could get back two inspiring kids to learn instead of test scores.
September 1, 2016
These are some points, I picked up from his writing:
"Education should be for (rather than material advantage) the exhilaration of learning."
Wisdom is the chief element of happiness. Second is Ice-cream.
Do whatever you do for no reason other than you love it and believe in its importance.
To be a fulfilled human being is to be free.... from expectation, from inhibition, from envy, from fear.
Do whatever you do for the sake of the delight (I'd say, pleasure) it brings you.
Live.
Love everyone. Love everything.
Chapter 4 "Look at Your Fish"
"The Heart's a truant; nothing does by rule: Safe in its wisdom, is taken on a dunce's stool; And wakes to dream all night." He quotes from "Scholars" by Walter de la Mare.
So many persons are introduced in this chapter, I find it difficult to keep count- From Benny Goodman and Ella Fitzgerald, to Thoreau, who gives an account of his time on a pond in Walden and Ralph Waldo Emerson.
But he introduces professor Louis Agassiz who placed a fish in front his student- just the student, his/her brain and his fish and declared "Look at your fish". ie Study it. The student would eventually describe it and connect it to its environment, include it's anatomy and physiology; how does it survive?. The student's mind starts working away.
We're on a mission, he adds in Chapter 5. Take risks and do something. Choices.
Forget rejection: It is simply a shot to the heart. It will happen. Deal with it and move forward.
Chapter 6 starts with a quote from Emily Dickinson, "We never know how high we are (1176)".
Chapter 7: "Do we Bleed?" He starts with the quote from: "America" by Samuel F Smith..."Our Glorious Land to-day, 'Neath Education's sway,.....Whose Boundaries aa may share,......"
He talks about the Haves and Have-nots; Inequities etc some 21 pages; and that every year he is asked to make recommendations for students applying to College--He ticks off-- poor, fair, good, excellent, top 10%, top 5%,
One Of The Best of My Career-- The Final Judgment.
He does not favour not checking the boxes for fear he might handicap the applicant if he didn't.
One particular one for an African American girl--- or for " an enthusiastic, personable, principled, accomplished, eminently sensible, hugely intelligent, ferociously hardworking, wholly superlative student, one of the best of his career, who happens to be female and African American..." WOW!
McCullough recalls meeting an ex-student who was working in a store bagging groceries. The student was embarassed and this is how he described his student:
An admirably regular kid- tall and gangly, with a poet's sunken chest and a lively brain. ...
Gradewise, he was middle of the pack."
The student says apologetically, I kind of needed a job."
Then, ".... Me and my family... we're nothing special ."
Ahhh- the wide middle class-- wealthy but not wealthy enough---
David McCullough jr, is a teacher of English.
"Education should be for (rather than material advantage) the exhilaration of learning."
Wisdom is the chief element of happiness. Second is Ice-cream.
Do whatever you do for no reason other than you love it and believe in its importance.
To be a fulfilled human being is to be free.... from expectation, from inhibition, from envy, from fear.
Do whatever you do for the sake of the delight (I'd say, pleasure) it brings you.
Live.
Love everyone. Love everything.
Chapter 4 "Look at Your Fish"
"The Heart's a truant; nothing does by rule: Safe in its wisdom, is taken on a dunce's stool; And wakes to dream all night." He quotes from "Scholars" by Walter de la Mare.
So many persons are introduced in this chapter, I find it difficult to keep count- From Benny Goodman and Ella Fitzgerald, to Thoreau, who gives an account of his time on a pond in Walden and Ralph Waldo Emerson.
But he introduces professor Louis Agassiz who placed a fish in front his student- just the student, his/her brain and his fish and declared "Look at your fish". ie Study it. The student would eventually describe it and connect it to its environment, include it's anatomy and physiology; how does it survive?. The student's mind starts working away.
We're on a mission, he adds in Chapter 5. Take risks and do something. Choices.
Forget rejection: It is simply a shot to the heart. It will happen. Deal with it and move forward.
Chapter 6 starts with a quote from Emily Dickinson, "We never know how high we are (1176)".
Chapter 7: "Do we Bleed?" He starts with the quote from: "America" by Samuel F Smith..."Our Glorious Land to-day, 'Neath Education's sway,.....Whose Boundaries aa may share,......"
He talks about the Haves and Have-nots; Inequities etc some 21 pages; and that every year he is asked to make recommendations for students applying to College--He ticks off-- poor, fair, good, excellent, top 10%, top 5%,
One Of The Best of My Career-- The Final Judgment.
He does not favour not checking the boxes for fear he might handicap the applicant if he didn't.
One particular one for an African American girl--- or for " an enthusiastic, personable, principled, accomplished, eminently sensible, hugely intelligent, ferociously hardworking, wholly superlative student, one of the best of his career, who happens to be female and African American..." WOW!
McCullough recalls meeting an ex-student who was working in a store bagging groceries. The student was embarassed and this is how he described his student:
An admirably regular kid- tall and gangly, with a poet's sunken chest and a lively brain. ...
Gradewise, he was middle of the pack."
The student says apologetically, I kind of needed a job."
Then, ".... Me and my family... we're nothing special ."
Ahhh- the wide middle class-- wealthy but not wealthy enough---
David McCullough jr, is a teacher of English.
May 28, 2014
McCullough gained notoriety following a commencement speech at the high school where he teaches in Hawaii. The speech is on YouTube and is reproduced in full towards the end of this book. It's not a bad message: the world doesn't owe you anything, so go earn something. Love, money, fame, a cabin in the woods, whatever - earn it and make it yours.
Unfortunately, this fine and worthwhile message takes some 300 pages to deliver, and after a rambling, nearly incoherent 30-page introduction, the book gets down to brass tacks, which is often just lamenting the state of parenting, the world, the cost of college, all the trips across the country the author has to take so his daughter can play soccer... there's more than a little "do as I say, not as I do," and that not only undermines the author's point, it undermines the reader's desire to hear any of what he has to say. McCullough encourages us to skip college and go listen to nature: he's watching other parents yell at their kids in girls' U16 soccer games in Iowa, so why should we listen again?
The order of the chapters doesn't help either: the strongest chapter is probably the second-to-last, when McCullough recounts some purely wonderful stories involving his first lecture from his first class in Hawaii, select students he was (or wasn't) able to connect with, and the connection that many classic texts (Thoreau's Walden, Crane's The Open Boat, Melville's Bartleby) make with disinterested high school students.
Would that the book had started here! A new book, a new protagonist, a new classroom, new students - we're invested, we've been here, what happens next??? Alas, so much of the book is a jumbled mess, referencing texts you may or may not know, that McCullough may have referenced before or may reference later, or maybe he just wants you to know he likes them.
IF you're interested, check out the chapter "The Same Boat" and then hop around from there. Or watch his speech on youtube. The points he often tries to make are better made in other books, such as those by Ken Robinson, Carol Dweck, and other educators. This was a noble effort, but it fell short somewhere along the way.
Unfortunately, this fine and worthwhile message takes some 300 pages to deliver, and after a rambling, nearly incoherent 30-page introduction, the book gets down to brass tacks, which is often just lamenting the state of parenting, the world, the cost of college, all the trips across the country the author has to take so his daughter can play soccer... there's more than a little "do as I say, not as I do," and that not only undermines the author's point, it undermines the reader's desire to hear any of what he has to say. McCullough encourages us to skip college and go listen to nature: he's watching other parents yell at their kids in girls' U16 soccer games in Iowa, so why should we listen again?
The order of the chapters doesn't help either: the strongest chapter is probably the second-to-last, when McCullough recounts some purely wonderful stories involving his first lecture from his first class in Hawaii, select students he was (or wasn't) able to connect with, and the connection that many classic texts (Thoreau's Walden, Crane's The Open Boat, Melville's Bartleby) make with disinterested high school students.
Would that the book had started here! A new book, a new protagonist, a new classroom, new students - we're invested, we've been here, what happens next??? Alas, so much of the book is a jumbled mess, referencing texts you may or may not know, that McCullough may have referenced before or may reference later, or maybe he just wants you to know he likes them.
IF you're interested, check out the chapter "The Same Boat" and then hop around from there. Or watch his speech on youtube. The points he often tries to make are better made in other books, such as those by Ken Robinson, Carol Dweck, and other educators. This was a noble effort, but it fell short somewhere along the way.
August 21, 2014
McCullough’s book came after a similarly themed graduation speech of 2012. His thoughts are well received and regarded because he speaks from the position of an educator of nearly 30 years (Interestingly he spent nearly a decade teaching in the Hawaii high school where President Obama admitted to spending his high school years mostly getting high and “by” academically, confirming McCullough’s thoughts on the subject.). McCullough’s words ring true when he speaks of the real face of education today i.e. grade inflation, little interest in learning, accolades disproportionate to effort, concern with getting “good grades”, but mostly as a way to get into the best colleges. He draws a sad picture of the state of education and learning today. Unfortunately, administrators, teachers, students and parents are party to education which lacks in real substance. The book is an interesting read, particularly in the early chapters (when teaching, learning and education are discussed); it lags a bit when the author gets into youth sports and recommendations about lifestyle and one’s future prospects.
Marsha Y. / Marathon County Public Library
Find this book in our library catalog.
October 15, 2014
When I saw the title of this book and the name of the author (yes, he's the son of THAT David McCullough!), I had to check it out. The "You are not special" speech which McCullough gave in 2012 to the graduating class at Wellesley High School, where he teaches, is fantastic. I'd recommend spending twelve minutes to watch it!
So what did I think of this book? Well, it does meander quite a bit, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it. McCullough addresses quite a few issues--intense academic loads for kids, college application rigors, sports and other competitive activities, money issues, self-involvement, overly involved parents, etc.--with good humor, frankness, and wisdom. As a teacher (formerly at a private school in Hawaii and currently at a public school in Massachusetts) and as a dad of four kids, McCullough has a lot of experience and very valid opinions, and I really appreciated his candor. Because he teaches English, he throws in many literary references and stories, and I absolutely loved those. As much as I love the elder McCullough, it was also nice to read something by his son.
So what did I think of this book? Well, it does meander quite a bit, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it. McCullough addresses quite a few issues--intense academic loads for kids, college application rigors, sports and other competitive activities, money issues, self-involvement, overly involved parents, etc.--with good humor, frankness, and wisdom. As a teacher (formerly at a private school in Hawaii and currently at a public school in Massachusetts) and as a dad of four kids, McCullough has a lot of experience and very valid opinions, and I really appreciated his candor. Because he teaches English, he throws in many literary references and stories, and I absolutely loved those. As much as I love the elder McCullough, it was also nice to read something by his son.
March 6, 2015
If you're a teacher, this is a must read. McCullough is a thoughtful, master anthropologist, rendering glimpses of the typical and atypical high school student as seen through the eyes of a teacher. Though this book might be found insignificant and boring from the eyes and mind of a smartphone-toting parent who fails to be aware of his/her life and surroundings, I found it to be the most realistic, thought-provoking, and reflective essay on our American culture. McCullough combines tough talk with hope. His love of teaching and his 'kids' really shines through his often flowery prose, with adjectives lined up like cars on a long train. Read carefully and you'll smile at his quips and real in-your-face wisdom, earned by careful observation and hardened experience.
May 18, 2014
Kind of rambling, and sometimes not very logical, but overall an interesting read. It seems well intentioned and makes some valid points.
"In "You Are Not Special" McCullough elaborates on exploring how, for what purpose, and for whose sake, we're raising our kids. By acknowledging that the world is indifferent to them, McCullough takes pressure off of students to be extraordinary achievers and instead exhorts them to roll up their sleeves and do something useful with their advantages."
"In "You Are Not Special" McCullough elaborates on exploring how, for what purpose, and for whose sake, we're raising our kids. By acknowledging that the world is indifferent to them, McCullough takes pressure off of students to be extraordinary achievers and instead exhorts them to roll up their sleeves and do something useful with their advantages."
December 15, 2014
I doubt I will make it through this book. I find the content relevant and well-written, but McCullough only confirms and fleshes out my perceptions of phenomena that infuriate and worry me-- all the while being gentle and mildly optimistic.
November 25, 2018
I found this book while walking through the library with my girls. The title struck me. "Woah. I'm not special? What? How can this be?" :)
This book took me forever to read. It's not a novel but a commentary on life. I recommend reading it faster, like finishing a whole chapter at one sitting. I did not so it lost continuity for me. I had to go back and reread. I also missed the point of some of the chapters. McCullough reminded me a little of my own high school English teacher. He referenced many people in history that, if you do not remember much from English class or did not have a good English teacher, you would have to look up. He also used big words. Sometimes I wonder if he actually used these in his classes or was trying to show off his vast vocabulary. In any case, it bothered me at times because I thought he was too verbose. Again, had I read it faster, it probably would have read like a song and I could get through it more easily.
What I will remember from this book is the McCullough stressed doing what you love. He mentioned a student of his who loved drawing. This boy started drawing when he was not allowed to go on some ride somewhere and as a teenager, he was so mad at his parents that he went home and drew the ride in 3D detail. The boy became obsessed with drawing. I remember this snippet because time stood still for this boy. That is what he grew to enjoy.
I also loved his story of his own son who spent hours researching and writing a paper in high school only to never hear back from his teacher what his grade was. He both thanked him and was annoyed with him. But McCullough pointed out the process of writing that paper as a huge moment for his son, who then realized he could become a good writer if he researched his subject and enjoyed the process. I totally can relate to this.
In the last chapter "So Live", McCullough talks about the tragedy of death being people's denial of it. I had never thought of it this way before. When we are so afraid of aging and death, "we undermine our capacities, or, worse, our inclinations, to make the most of the brief and finite time we have. ... the best fist we can shake at death is the well lived life... The truly alive are those who with their full energy savor being alive." "The challenge lies in making it happen, which requires strength and heart and imagination." Carpe the heck out of the diem. :) (Almost what my English teacher used to say.)
You live only once (YLOO every day) so get out and live, versus "You only live once", "because you can and should live not merely once, but every day of your life". "Read. Read. Read." "The founding fathers took pains to secure your inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness -- quite an active verb 'pursuit' -- which leaves little time for lying around watching parrots roller-skate on Youtube." (p. 312) :) Hilarious! So true.
Lastly, in the afterword, McCullough sums up why he wrote the book. To become selfless to others is the best thing you can for yourself. The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you are not special. Because everyone is." (p. 313)
This book took me forever to read. It's not a novel but a commentary on life. I recommend reading it faster, like finishing a whole chapter at one sitting. I did not so it lost continuity for me. I had to go back and reread. I also missed the point of some of the chapters. McCullough reminded me a little of my own high school English teacher. He referenced many people in history that, if you do not remember much from English class or did not have a good English teacher, you would have to look up. He also used big words. Sometimes I wonder if he actually used these in his classes or was trying to show off his vast vocabulary. In any case, it bothered me at times because I thought he was too verbose. Again, had I read it faster, it probably would have read like a song and I could get through it more easily.
What I will remember from this book is the McCullough stressed doing what you love. He mentioned a student of his who loved drawing. This boy started drawing when he was not allowed to go on some ride somewhere and as a teenager, he was so mad at his parents that he went home and drew the ride in 3D detail. The boy became obsessed with drawing. I remember this snippet because time stood still for this boy. That is what he grew to enjoy.
I also loved his story of his own son who spent hours researching and writing a paper in high school only to never hear back from his teacher what his grade was. He both thanked him and was annoyed with him. But McCullough pointed out the process of writing that paper as a huge moment for his son, who then realized he could become a good writer if he researched his subject and enjoyed the process. I totally can relate to this.
In the last chapter "So Live", McCullough talks about the tragedy of death being people's denial of it. I had never thought of it this way before. When we are so afraid of aging and death, "we undermine our capacities, or, worse, our inclinations, to make the most of the brief and finite time we have. ... the best fist we can shake at death is the well lived life... The truly alive are those who with their full energy savor being alive." "The challenge lies in making it happen, which requires strength and heart and imagination." Carpe the heck out of the diem. :) (Almost what my English teacher used to say.)
You live only once (YLOO every day) so get out and live, versus "You only live once", "because you can and should live not merely once, but every day of your life". "Read. Read. Read." "The founding fathers took pains to secure your inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness -- quite an active verb 'pursuit' -- which leaves little time for lying around watching parrots roller-skate on Youtube." (p. 312) :) Hilarious! So true.
Lastly, in the afterword, McCullough sums up why he wrote the book. To become selfless to others is the best thing you can for yourself. The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you are not special. Because everyone is." (p. 313)
April 3, 2023
I happen to be reading "Truman" by the author's father. For it, the senior McCullough won his first Pulitzer prize. For the author's 15 minutes of fame, his parting words to a high school graduation class became a Youtube sensation in 2012. This was the beginnings of the book we are now examining.
My sympathies are with the author. He is obviously a devoted teacher whose first position was at Punahou in Hawaii. He had applied for the position on a whim and got the job, to his surprise. The chapter on his first day is worth the price of admission. It reminded me of my early days at San Diego State as an Experiment Psych student. My mentor decided I was ready to lead a class and it was an unmitigated disaster. Time seemed to stop as I was in front of a class of first year students. Never would I think that teaching was easy from that day on.
My world view and experience is very much in sympathy with the author's viewpoint. Most children of school age seem to have: older parents, more well off parents, more phoney awards, more support, and more interference from their parents. Growing up, how could a parent keep tabs on what you were doing when phones were connected with wires. Once you got that bike beyond a few turns at strategic points, how would the parents have any hope for control. There were boundaries of course if you happened to cross into criminal activity, but this was not like getting a B on your report card. When I went to college, what other college would I go to than San Diego State? It was cheap and close to home. This was not even the world of my kids.
Anyway, this is a fun book written by someone who is indeed a man of letters. He obviously loves his subject matter as an English teacher and loves his students as he helps them experience an immersion in a world of intellectual challenge and dare I say excitement. This is a fun book even if you are a (to use a timeworn term) helicopter parent.
My sympathies are with the author. He is obviously a devoted teacher whose first position was at Punahou in Hawaii. He had applied for the position on a whim and got the job, to his surprise. The chapter on his first day is worth the price of admission. It reminded me of my early days at San Diego State as an Experiment Psych student. My mentor decided I was ready to lead a class and it was an unmitigated disaster. Time seemed to stop as I was in front of a class of first year students. Never would I think that teaching was easy from that day on.
My world view and experience is very much in sympathy with the author's viewpoint. Most children of school age seem to have: older parents, more well off parents, more phoney awards, more support, and more interference from their parents. Growing up, how could a parent keep tabs on what you were doing when phones were connected with wires. Once you got that bike beyond a few turns at strategic points, how would the parents have any hope for control. There were boundaries of course if you happened to cross into criminal activity, but this was not like getting a B on your report card. When I went to college, what other college would I go to than San Diego State? It was cheap and close to home. This was not even the world of my kids.
Anyway, this is a fun book written by someone who is indeed a man of letters. He obviously loves his subject matter as an English teacher and loves his students as he helps them experience an immersion in a world of intellectual challenge and dare I say excitement. This is a fun book even if you are a (to use a timeworn term) helicopter parent.
April 8, 2018
Got to page 60 and had to put it down. At best, this is a loosely woven web of platitudes; at worst, it is a rambling rant poorly disguised as sage, reasoned advice.
Indeed, the book's title could accurately be directed to the book itself. There is no shortage of experienced teachers and parents willing to wax polemical about how everything is going down the tubes nowadays. It's just not worth my time to read the printed ramblings of one such who happened to get famous for some reason, however articulate and clever he might be.
There may well be some truth in what Mr. McCullough says, but I have no way of knowing, since the only evidence he offers is his own word. I was waiting and waiting for him to provide some reference to a scholarly study, a news report, or indeed any facts outside his own direct experience, but after making it through 20% of the book, I could not wait any longer.
The final straw that made me quit reading: at the beginning of his section on gender differences, Mr. McCullough spends a paragraph on caveats, "fully acknowledging" the existence of exceptions to what he is about to say. He says "I intend no offense and apologize in advance if any is taken," and warns, "If you anticipate even a teaspoon of umbrage, skip this section."
I am exasperated that I have to remind an English teacher of the following: If what you are saying is the truth, then there is no need to apologize. If not, then there is no need to say it.
Indeed, the book's title could accurately be directed to the book itself. There is no shortage of experienced teachers and parents willing to wax polemical about how everything is going down the tubes nowadays. It's just not worth my time to read the printed ramblings of one such who happened to get famous for some reason, however articulate and clever he might be.
There may well be some truth in what Mr. McCullough says, but I have no way of knowing, since the only evidence he offers is his own word. I was waiting and waiting for him to provide some reference to a scholarly study, a news report, or indeed any facts outside his own direct experience, but after making it through 20% of the book, I could not wait any longer.
The final straw that made me quit reading: at the beginning of his section on gender differences, Mr. McCullough spends a paragraph on caveats, "fully acknowledging" the existence of exceptions to what he is about to say. He says "I intend no offense and apologize in advance if any is taken," and warns, "If you anticipate even a teaspoon of umbrage, skip this section."
I am exasperated that I have to remind an English teacher of the following: If what you are saying is the truth, then there is no need to apologize. If not, then there is no need to say it.
April 17, 2022
David McCullough, Jr. is the son of the Harvard-educated historian David McCullough of The Wright Brothers, Harry Truman and other exceptional histories I've read over the decades. Great expectations fall on the son. Can he write? Yes. He majored in English and became a high school classroom teacher of English. In his You Are Not Special and Other Encouragements, David McCullough, Jr. writes in a passionate subjective voice about youth, aspirations, parenting and learning. In 2012 he gave the commencement address at the suburban Boston high school where he taught. The speech gained a lot of attention because McCullough repeated that the graduates were NOT special, a rude wake-up that life awaits. The book elaborates on his own childhood journey and subsequent observations McCullough has experienced in his roles as an engaged teacher and parent. He explores the comparisons and contrasts of his youth with today's youth. Privilege and class do matter in the quality of education, and our country is vast, diverse and limited. But McCullough raises hard societal issues and pressures on youth that confuse direction and even purpose. Bottom line: find something you love and stick with it. Maybe some will actually become useful, like plumbers, electricians, kind listeners and problem-solvers. Ten years later, would David McCullough, Jr. be allowed to deliver the same commencement address?
February 21, 2018
David McCullough, Jr., is the son of famous historian, David McCullough. David McCullough, jr. is the principal at a high school in Boston and gave a graduation speech a few years ago. Throughout the speech, he explained how the graduates were not special - there are so many graduates each year, 7 billion people on the planet, so many people helped you get here, etc. But the point of his speech was to not think of yourself as special but to think of everyone else as special. The video went viral. He then wrote this book. The book is not a collection of short phrases and sayings. It is a collection of stories from his own personal experiences in life and the classroom outlining changes in society and problems we face as a society. He, like his father, encourages everyone to keep reading and to keep learning. Try to see beyond the quiz, the test, the GPA and focus on learning for the sake of improving oneself. At times, this book is funny, other times, you think you are reading about yourself, other times, you're thinking I need to think more about this. Sometimes, he is a bit long winded in getting to his point, but then again, it's always about the journey.
The end of the book, he does have his original speech. I do highly recommend looking up his speech on youtube and watching it.
The end of the book, he does have his original speech. I do highly recommend looking up his speech on youtube and watching it.
July 16, 2025
I wanted to give this book a better rating. I liked some of it. It was witty, snappy, succinct, and in general well-written. It offers some neat tips and tricks for an aspiring teacher like me. The reason I have to give it only a two-star rating is near the end. The whole book points out, rightly, that you are not special. As the speech that inspired the book says, “So think about this: even if you’re one in a million, on a planet of 6.8 billion that means there are nearly 7,000 people just like you.” You are NOT special, but he says, because life and everything will eventually come to an end, you must live your best life. You are not special, nothing you do really matters, and in the end everything will disappear into nothingness. Someday you will die and all your supposed accomplishments will amount to nothing, so you need to do your best now.
What!? So meaningless. I get it, he’s (presumably, by the way he speaks of death) an atheist. So, he truly believes that death is nothingness. If death is nothingness it is a bookend to a life and you should do, what? He encourages people to do their best, but why? Everything ends in nothingness. I mean the best you can really take from this book is a selfish hedonism. “Take what you can. Give nothing back.”
Oh well, it started good and I liked the encouragement to be a good teacher.
What!? So meaningless. I get it, he’s (presumably, by the way he speaks of death) an atheist. So, he truly believes that death is nothingness. If death is nothingness it is a bookend to a life and you should do, what? He encourages people to do their best, but why? Everything ends in nothingness. I mean the best you can really take from this book is a selfish hedonism. “Take what you can. Give nothing back.”
Oh well, it started good and I liked the encouragement to be a good teacher.
June 12, 2017
This is just a really beautiful book. I like his encouragements about students, school, being a parent, knowing yourself and other things. He has a way of saying things that makes me chuckle. And his advice to read books for enjoyment and to learn about life is what's making me a reader again.
Even in this culture where every kid is special and they should do a thousand things to stand out from the rest, you kind of realize you're not special anymore if you're doing what everyone else is doing. And maybe it's okay if you don't stand out from the rest. As long as you're out there being yourself and working together with others to help this world be a better place, then that is what matters. His chapter about death also makes you want to appreciate life just a little more.
Very quickly, his book makes you feel like he knows what you're thinking and knows what you've been through and also what you might go through. It's comforting and reassuring.
I think his one message in this book is to live life loving what you do and to be yourself. It's cliched but very, very heartening. (And no worries, it's not all pie in the sky, he balances all these lofty notions of being yourself with the real world.)
Give it a read. If you don't like it, that's okay too.
Even in this culture where every kid is special and they should do a thousand things to stand out from the rest, you kind of realize you're not special anymore if you're doing what everyone else is doing. And maybe it's okay if you don't stand out from the rest. As long as you're out there being yourself and working together with others to help this world be a better place, then that is what matters. His chapter about death also makes you want to appreciate life just a little more.
Very quickly, his book makes you feel like he knows what you're thinking and knows what you've been through and also what you might go through. It's comforting and reassuring.
I think his one message in this book is to live life loving what you do and to be yourself. It's cliched but very, very heartening. (And no worries, it's not all pie in the sky, he balances all these lofty notions of being yourself with the real world.)
Give it a read. If you don't like it, that's okay too.
July 8, 2019
The author claims that this book’s targeted audience is teenagers, how ever, I’ve only seen reviews written by adults who give it nothing but praise. I, as a teenager, am here to give a review from the perspective of the targeted audience. It’s bad. It is just really awful. Not only is it 300 pages of uninteresting life stories, it is painfully repetitive and straight up poorly written. The grammar and sentence structure is horrible and, at times, hard to follow. All that would maybe be okay if it wasn’t so damn boring. He’s giving his readers observations of life and how teenagers live theirs. Thing is, I’ve been living my life my whole life so i don’t need someone telling me what’s been going on. And to make matters worse, you can tell he was so smug and sure of himself while writing this. He thinks he’s figured it out and that his observations are the only corrects ones when in reality, they only pertain to a very select group of individuals. Any teenager who isn’t upper middle- upper class will most likely not find anything they can relate to. And on that note, i will leave you to ponder this question (this is directed at teens): u really gon let some middle aged man tell u how u should be living?
April 6, 2018
I read this book completely unaware of the viral sensation that was the author’s commencement speech of the same title. I was drawn quite simply by the earnestness of the title and the promise it seemed to augur. I was not let down. McCullough manages to write with nuance, affection and candor about the things life has taught him as a parent of four and as an English teacher of several decades. His honest portrayals of the hectic lives that parents and children live in order to pursuit the holy grail of an Ivy League acceptance letter, often at the detriment of actual growth opportunities for the children involved, was simply brilliant. He addresses, both as a parent and as a teacher, aspects ranging from coddling and overscheduling children to the unhealthy obsession with competitive sports that seems to have become normalized. Along the way he seeks to share with his target audience, the same young minds to which he addressed his commencement speech, all the things that he has learned make for a good life. This is the exact book that every high school freshman should receive as a gift, if only for the nuance that the writer is able to give to the prospect of higher education.
November 27, 2017
Really a nice idea to a book but not a well-written book--at least in the 'Self help' or 'Nonfiction' categories. The book unraveled as a pondering idea the author, a private school teacher, had when he delivered a graduation speech that quickly went viral on the internet a few years back. The speech was a Millennial slap in the face to reality and what to expect from the pandering parents do in raising today's boys and girls--nothing wildly sensational outside the Millennial generation itself. Nonetheless, after the TV interviews and profiles of him and his approach to teaching he decided to pen this book. The book, which really felt like a memoir-meets-confessional into his two-decade profession of teaching young middle and high schoolers, felt underwhelming as an overall thesis for a book. His idea is really straight to the point and would've been better served as a concise essay or op-ed piece to one of the bigger newspapers like The New York Times or Washington Post.
February 16, 2021
I was obviously not the audience for this book. I wanted to like it. I agree with the message of the title. We undermine our children's incentive to grow emotionally and intellectually by exalting their immature state. I deplore the whole Self-Esteem movement that we inherited from the 1960s. Yet, I just found this book tedious. I found myself offended by his glorification of the teaching profession. I think teachers are amazing beings, whose work is underrated and underpaid, however he credits teachers with having more impact on children than the rest of the world combined, completely ignoring the enormous impact of siblings, friends and even parents! As a homeschooling parent, I know that my role as a mother overshadowed my role as teacher by a vast margin. His rambling style is also off-putting. Most damning of all, there seems to be little point to his ramblings other than that children need to understand that they are not the only ones struggling with life.
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