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Get A Good Tree Or Die Trying: A Christmas Story
A short story for Christmas that will touch you in all the wrong places...
Ray Allman tries. Really, he does. But he's handicapped by that Y chromosome. Still, bringing home a Christmas tree when his yuleaholic wife unexpectedly has to travel shortly before the holiday shouldn't be that big of an issue, right?
Well, let's just call it an adventure. Because with a 4 year-old in tow and the wrath of his wife hanging over him, Ray goes in search of that perfect tree, but what he finds just might be the back door to hell.
'Get A Good Tree Or Die Trying' is a short story of approximately 6,000 words.
Ray Allman tries. Really, he does. But he's handicapped by that Y chromosome. Still, bringing home a Christmas tree when his yuleaholic wife unexpectedly has to travel shortly before the holiday shouldn't be that big of an issue, right?
Well, let's just call it an adventure. Because with a 4 year-old in tow and the wrath of his wife hanging over him, Ray goes in search of that perfect tree, but what he finds just might be the back door to hell.
'Get A Good Tree Or Die Trying' is a short story of approximately 6,000 words.
Unknown Binding
First published November 28, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
January 1, 2012
Funny short story that was free for Kindle.
A wife is very strict about her Christmas traditions. Until the year she is called away to attend the birth of her sister's child buying the Christmas tree was her job. This year it falls on the shoulders of her husband (and 4YO son who needs a lot of potty breaks).
The two set out for the tree farm (has to be a specific one) and the fun begins.
Add in the joys of autocorrect and you have a very humorous story.
A wife is very strict about her Christmas traditions. Until the year she is called away to attend the birth of her sister's child buying the Christmas tree was her job. This year it falls on the shoulders of her husband (and 4YO son who needs a lot of potty breaks).
The two set out for the tree farm (has to be a specific one) and the fun begins.
Add in the joys of autocorrect and you have a very humorous story.
December 13, 2011
"Get A Good Tree or Die Trying; A Christmas Story", by Ray Allman, is a short fiction story (approximately 6000 words) that will leave you with a smile in your heart. Ray Allman is the main character in this Christmas story of adventure, disaster and triumph.
Ray's wife is a yuleaholic and plans every detail of Christmas in the Allman home. His wife believes it is bad luck to bring a Christmas tree into the house before the second Saturday before Christmas. Every year on that Saturday afternoon, his wife and daughter pick out the perfect tree because women have the "right eye" for it.
This year is different. Ray's wife receives a call from her sister saying that she is in labor. Ray and his four-year-old son are left with duty of finding a perfect tree and putting it up on the proper day.
Ray believes he is up to the task. On Saturday morning, he loads his son into the car and they begin their quest to find the perfect tree. Unfortunately, things do not work out as planned. Ray and his son are permanently banned from the Christmas Tree Farm. They travel to another tree farm only to find that all the trees are only three feet tall! What will he do?
Ray knows that his wife will be MORE than upset if she comes home and the tree is not in place. Desperate people do desperate things. You will be falling out of your chair with laughter when you read how Ray finally finds the perfect tree and gets it to his house.
This is a short, entertaining read that will have you shaking your head in disbelief and laughing out loud. This is a hilarious story of family dynamics from a husband's point of view. The story ends with a funny, ironic twist...I won't spoil it for you. This little gem will definitely get you into the Christmas spirit with a smile on your face.
Ray's wife is a yuleaholic and plans every detail of Christmas in the Allman home. His wife believes it is bad luck to bring a Christmas tree into the house before the second Saturday before Christmas. Every year on that Saturday afternoon, his wife and daughter pick out the perfect tree because women have the "right eye" for it.
This year is different. Ray's wife receives a call from her sister saying that she is in labor. Ray and his four-year-old son are left with duty of finding a perfect tree and putting it up on the proper day.
Ray believes he is up to the task. On Saturday morning, he loads his son into the car and they begin their quest to find the perfect tree. Unfortunately, things do not work out as planned. Ray and his son are permanently banned from the Christmas Tree Farm. They travel to another tree farm only to find that all the trees are only three feet tall! What will he do?
Ray knows that his wife will be MORE than upset if she comes home and the tree is not in place. Desperate people do desperate things. You will be falling out of your chair with laughter when you read how Ray finally finds the perfect tree and gets it to his house.
This is a short, entertaining read that will have you shaking your head in disbelief and laughing out loud. This is a hilarious story of family dynamics from a husband's point of view. The story ends with a funny, ironic twist...I won't spoil it for you. This little gem will definitely get you into the Christmas spirit with a smile on your face.
November 22, 2012
What a pleasant surprise and absolute delight! This was a humorous short story about a young father and his very young son what are tasked with the most important activity of the Christmas season -- getting the right Christmas tree.
OK, we all know that a tree is not the most important thing about Christmas. Jesus is the real "reason for the season". But, as they say in TV and theater, "You buy the premise and you buy the bit." And the premise is the slightly secular view that the tree is the central and that it is thematic element of Christmas. The bit is that this poor young father is forced to go it on his own and take a semi-potty trained toddler along when his wife is called out of town suddenly to be with her sister who is having a baby.
This is a very funny story and a very short read. I think we would all do well to read this today or in the coming days.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
OK, we all know that a tree is not the most important thing about Christmas. Jesus is the real "reason for the season". But, as they say in TV and theater, "You buy the premise and you buy the bit." And the premise is the slightly secular view that the tree is the central and that it is thematic element of Christmas. The bit is that this poor young father is forced to go it on his own and take a semi-potty trained toddler along when his wife is called out of town suddenly to be with her sister who is having a baby.
This is a very funny story and a very short read. I think we would all do well to read this today or in the coming days.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
November 21, 2012
This is a very humorous account about Christmas tension ... no doubt more true than fiction! The 'Wife' is very determined not to deviate from the tradition of getting THE Christmas tree no earlier, nor later, than the second Saturday before Christmas. But the night before, she has to rush to her pregnant sister who is in labor at a hospital ... out of town. She will be gone several days, so hubby takes a deep breath and thinks he'll enjoy a little holiday of peace. Right? No ... wrong! This is so funny and what a perfect time to read this short, hilarious story. Grab it now! You will laugh so hard, people will think you must know something they don't! Enjoy the joy of Christmas!
December 17, 2012
There's only one word I can use to describe this book - HILARIOUS!! Starting at the title and heading all the way to the end of the book. And that's a big deal for me to say, especially since I'm not a big fan of comedy/humor these days because they really just aren't that funny, at least as funny as people make them out to be. But this - I read the whole thing without once putting it down, laughed at least once on every page and really felt sorry for the guy and the adventure that he was sent on. There's just one thing, Mr Allman. I really want to know what happened the next Christmas, you know, after his wife found out.
July 23, 2012
Get a good tree or die trying, A Christmas story by Ray Allman
Funny story about why a man checks all the bulbs on the tree strings in March every year. Year after year because one year he did it the week before Christmas and they had no lights that year.
One year the wife and the daughter leave for another daughter's birth process and all the wife wants is a picture of the tree up with it decorated-with help from the son.
How they get the tree is their secret to the mother or so he thinks ....
gotta love 'auto correct' when texting!
Funny story about why a man checks all the bulbs on the tree strings in March every year. Year after year because one year he did it the week before Christmas and they had no lights that year.
One year the wife and the daughter leave for another daughter's birth process and all the wife wants is a picture of the tree up with it decorated-with help from the son.
How they get the tree is their secret to the mother or so he thinks ....
gotta love 'auto correct' when texting!
March 10, 2014
I make it a point to read a couple of Christmas stories, as well as watch a few of my favorite films, during the holiday season. My favorite are the comedies; the mishaps of regular folk trying their best to emerge from December unscathed.
Get a Good Tree or Die Trying was so funny and exactly what I was looking for. I can envision it being made into a film, (it was that good) and I'd be first in line to see it.
If you love "Christmas Vacation" or David Sedaris' work, you'll really enjoy this short. It's one of my new faves. Great job, Ray Allman!
Get a Good Tree or Die Trying was so funny and exactly what I was looking for. I can envision it being made into a film, (it was that good) and I'd be first in line to see it.
If you love "Christmas Vacation" or David Sedaris' work, you'll really enjoy this short. It's one of my new faves. Great job, Ray Allman!
December 22, 2012
This is a funny short story involving a husband having to hold up his wife's very stringent Christmas traditions, in this case getting the perfect Christmas tree while his wife is out of town. It's a short, fun little "adventure" that will make you laugh and cringe at the same time. It's short, and the pay-off at the end was clever, even if it didn't work one hundred percent. Worth a read, especially if you've got a significant other who has very specific holiday traditions.
December 27, 2021
2011: My new Christmastime tradition will be to read this story each December!!
2012: I forgot how funny this is! If you're married and/or have kids you'll especially enjoy! I don't see how it could ever get old :)
2013: Still funny!
2014: Just as fun as the first time.
2015: *****
2021: Still a favorite!
2012: I forgot how funny this is! If you're married and/or have kids you'll especially enjoy! I don't see how it could ever get old :)
2013: Still funny!
2014: Just as fun as the first time.
2015: *****
2021: Still a favorite!
December 7, 2012
This is a silly hilarious story about a father whose responsibility it was to get a christmas tree AND look after his 4 year old son. It made me laugh at how unprepared and incapable he was for the task.
LOL! He gets kicked off a tree farm and damn near totals his wife's car!
LOL! He gets kicked off a tree farm and damn near totals his wife's car!
December 17, 2011
A very short, very funny telling of one father's mission to satisfy his wife's demand: while she's away, he must get a good tree or die trying!
November 22, 2012
Super hilarious! Puts a huge smile on your face.
November 30, 2012
Loved this Christmas story. Taken from a man's point of view.
December 5, 2012
This short story was hilarious. I laughed through the whole thing. Highly recommend for a quick read and some antics that will make you chuckle.
April 3, 2013
A quick read that takes you along for the ride and leaves you with laughter at the end.
December 21, 2011
Hilarious.
January 3, 2012
This was a funny read! And what a funny twist!
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews