Notes for Neuro Navigators: The Allies' Quick-Start Guide to Championing Neurodivergent Brains

by Jolene Stockman

"Being autistic is full-on, but being in the life of someone who is autistic? This can be epic, world-changing love."

In a world built for neurotypicals, how can you help autistic loved ones navigate their way to happiness?

Packed with strategies and honest, down-to-earth advice, autistic author Jolene Stockman explores the myriad ways you can boost the autistic in your from creating safe spaces and supporting self-care, to changing your own perspective, and advocating for them with others.

Picking up this book is the next step in your journey towards enhancing the lives of autistics - so welcome! It's time to find out how we can help those we love to navigate the current world, and work together to build a brighter one that supports us all.

Genres: Nonfiction

141 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 21, 2023

About the author

I'm happy you're here! I'm an ultra-enthusiastic, TEDx speaker and author from Aotearoa, NZ. #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD (Somehow, my dark and twisty insides tend to come out as sparkles and sunshine when I write. I'm going to go with it :))

Reviews

[Zara · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
a great read for learning about neurodiversity!!

an educative deep dive into neurodiversity, both from an internal perspective and aimed at loved ones

best bits👇🏻
💙 representation from a ND author is always so nice to see, the lived experience voice really comes through in this book
💙 discusses so many topics about living life as a ND person, and gives really great tips and advice for accommodations
💙 written in a shorter, much more easily digested format!! lists, short paragraphs, accessible titles and organisation of chapters 📝

complaints👇🏻
⭐️ there were some bits i didn't quite agree with, like the dislike of "special interest" when referring to really strong passions of autistic people. as an autistic person myself, i love the term special interest as it isn't "just a hobby" or a "normal passion", it's more than that! and i like my special interests, so i feel differently (but that's okay) 💖

i'd highly recommend reading this if you know any ND or autistic people in your lives and want to learn more about how to better help/support them!

[Sheila (sheilasbookreviewer) · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first heard about Notes for Neuro Navigators: The Allies' Quick-Start Guide to Championing Neurodivergent Brains I knew this book was for me. My oldest child is autistic, but she still likes to say she has Asperger's. This book was written for people who have Neurodivergent people in their lives. The author, Jolene Stockman didn't find out she was autistic until she was an adult. Her words shared in this book are gold to me.

I've learned a lot about how autistic people need our support and how to do it. I know that if people read this book they'll realize this, Autism-friendly is human-friendly. Learning how to be aware of the words you use around Neurodivergent people. Our words can shape a person's image of themselves.

What is Neurodiversity? Neurodiversity is a biological characteristic of human beings. The word was coined by Australian Judy Singer in 1998 and it is the understanding that humans are diverse, and varied, in our brain function.

I really liked this quote,

"We have to be willing to change our own expectations and norms so that difference and diversity is the expectation."

Some of the most interesting things as a mom and teacher of neurodivergent children that I learned...

-Creating "safe spaces" for autistic people where they can be themselves without judgment.

-Acknowledge their reality and support them with our acceptance.

-We need to realize and understand that autism doesn't need to be cured or fixed because they are not sick or broken.

-The chapter for educators was wonderful! I'm going back to re-read that chapter and share the ideas with my team members.

All in all, this book will point out how we need to be a team working with, learning from, and helping our neurodivergent friends and loved ones. I highly recommend this book for all people who are autistic, teachers, and families that have autistic family members. You will also see why I called this book"Gold".

[Marni · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book fills a needed role in the neuro-affirming literature! I haven't seen a book quite like this before.

Written by a late-identified AuDHD adult, it is primarily aimed at people who do not identify as Autistic themselves, but who want to be allies for Autistic people in their lives - as noted in the subtitle, "The Allies' Quick-Start Guide to Championing Neurodivergent Brains." It is written in a conversational style that make it a quick and easy read. I especially loved the inclusion of te reo Māori words and perspectives.

I highlighted many phrases throughout this book. I appreciated how the author called out that words matter, and strongly suggested that parents and those who work with children reframe their language. For example, from "she's difficult" to "she's sensitive and needs an environment that fits her."

Overall I think this is a good book and I will recommend it. There are a couple of places that I think the author could have gone farther in questioning why society is set up the way it is, and what it means for all of us.

This book seems to take as a given that children must attend school and parents will just do the damage control they can when their children arrive back at home, often in distress. Yes, it's great to remind parents to give their kids time and space after school, to support them, to let them have a safe space. But I would have liked to have seen more pushback on the environments that Autistic children spend their time in, and more exploration of what a truly neuro-affirming space for kids might look like.

I also felt like the neurodivergent/neurotypical binary was perpetuated in this book. That is, that neurodivergent people need one kind of world, while the world as it is is just fine for neurotypical people. I don't believe that is the case, and I'd like to see more questioning of whether things like a 40 hour work week are actually good for anyone - whether they identify as ND or NT. We neurodivergents may be the canaries in the coal mine, but by calling out oppressive systems, we have the chance to make the world better for everyone. I do think Stockman got there in a way with talking about Universal Design, but I think it needs to be more explicit that our factory model schools and hustle culture workplaces are not good for anyone.

In general, I found the first half of this book discussing children and Autistic culture more compelling than the later part of the book which tipped into how Neurodivergent brains can improve competitiveness in the workforce. There are plenty of people who want just that, to win at capitalism, who will be interested in this section. I would have liked to have seen more inclusion and awareness of disability justice principles, like that people are more than what they can produce, and we don't all need to "take over the world" via trading our days for money.

All in all, I will recommend this book and am happy that it will soon be out in the world!

Thanks to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for providing this ARC copy in exchange for my honest review.

[CHRISTOPHER MARTIN · Rating 4 out of 5]

super helpful in helping a loved one come to grips with a diagnosis

[Sam Peeters · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jolene Stockman’s Notes for Neuro Navigators sets out to champion neurodivergent experiences and provide a roadmap for allies to better support their autistic loved ones. While the book is earnest and insightful in places, it is not without its flaws. As an autistic adult and a skeptical reader, I found moments of resonance but also significant areas where the book fell short of its potential.

The Good:

Stockman’s strength lies in her ability to weave personal anecdotes into the narrative, offering authenticity and relatability. Her reflections on masking, burnout, and the late-diagnosis experience are poignant and will likely resonate with many readers navigating similar journeys. The inclusion of Māori concepts like takiwātanga ("in their own time and space") adds a culturally rich dimension that reframes autism in a positive light, moving away from deficit-based language.

Practical suggestions for neurotypical allies, or “neuro navigators,” are another highlight. Stockman encourages allies to adopt universal design principles and anticipate rather than react to needs, presenting a proactive approach to inclusivity.

Favorite Quotes:

“Autistics do not need to be fixed. Autistics are not broken.”
A clear and empowering statement that challenges harmful narratives about autism.

“He wā tōna ka puāwai mai te tītoki – the tītoki tree blooms in its own time.”
A beautiful metaphor for individual growth and acceptance.

The Mixed:

While the book contains many affirming messages, its tone occasionally veers into oversimplification and moralizing. Stockman frequently frames allyship in terms of binary opposites—neurodivergent sensitivity versus neurotypical privilege—which can feel reductive. This approach risks alienating readers who might otherwise be open to learning and improving their understanding.

Moreover, while Stockman critiques stereotypes, the book itself leans into generalizations, portraying autistics as universally “hyper-sensitive” and neurotypicals as inherently blind to difference. As someone who values nuance and individuality, I found these moments jarring in a work otherwise committed to celebrating diversity.

Least Favorite Quotes:

“Your job? Open your heart. Soften your eyes. Ask questions and listen to the answers.”
While well-intentioned, this advice feels overly simplistic and fails to address the systemic challenges that true allyship requires.

“Control everything you think and say, your behaviour, and how you come across to everyone around you.”
This instruction for allies comes across as impractical and excessively performative, potentially undermining authentic connection.

“Don’t take your normal for granted. Some of us are working really hard to pull it off.”
This line leans into guilt rather than fostering mutual understanding or constructive dialogue.

The Verdict:

Notes for Neuro Navigators has its strengths, particularly in its heartfelt anecdotes and practical advice, but it is weighed down by generalizations and an overly moralistic tone. For readers new to autism advocacy, the book provides a solid introduction, but those looking for deeper, more nuanced insights may find it lacking.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

While there are flashes of brilliance, the book ultimately feels uneven. It may be an empowering resource for some, but for critical readers, its oversights and tonal inconsistencies can be distracting.

[Lola · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free copy from the publisher through Netgalley.

This book caught my eye when I saw it on Netgalley as I've been reading more books about neurodivergence recently. I really enjoyed this one! This book is aimed at people who are friends, family or work together with someone who is neurodivergent. The main focus is for autistic neurodivergents, but I think a lot of the tips and advice work for many neurotypes.

There is a lot of great information in this book and all presented in an easy to understand manner and with a pleasant writing style. The last few chapters focus specifically on families, education and world place and give more specific information about those scenarios. There also are chapters that are more informational with others being more practical with lots of tips and advice.

I like the writing style of the author and how the book has this optimistic and encouraging tone despite the at times heavy topic. There is a focus on keeping an open mind and being accepting and I loved that! The author also sprinkles some humor in the pages. And I appreciated how the author was firm in her statements without coming across as harsh. This book is just filled with so many good tips and information and the way she describes things made everything feel very clear and easy to understand. There were parts that really resonated with me and that really made me feel.

To summarize: All in all I thought this was a great read and I can definitely recommend it to everyone who wants to know more about and how to help neurodivergent people. The writing style is pleasant and I thought the book was easy to read and understand. The optimistic and encouraging tone really worked for me and I loved the focus on keeping an open mind and being accepting.

[Bee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to read this as a parent of someone who was diagnosed with Autism recently to see if it would give me more insight into something I hadn’t previously been that acquainted with.

Whilst I think that it does indeed provide the reader with a simple and well throughout overview of what it is to be Autistic or perhaps living with another type of Neurodiversity which would certainly help someone navigate these first steps of understanding? There is a distinct lack of information that would help anyone who is neurodivergent or specifically Autistic, or for someone who has a family member or friend so that they could offer help etcetera. I know at times, I would have welcomed some easy to comprehend guide to some of the more difficult to navigate aspects of parenting an Autistic child because I felt out of my depth. (Things are dramatically easier now of course, but that is down to learning together etcetera but those first few months for all were hard.)

This is a quick read, and I would suggest it to anyone who wants to learn a bit more about the complexity of neurodiversity because it is a hard, and often misunderstood condition to understand. Autism especially seems to keep being misunderstood and books such as this could perhaps stop the often bizarre reasons that people ‘get’ Autism.

[Lexie · Rating 2 out of 5]

It depends on what you're looking for from this book as to whether my rating matches your thoughts or not. If you're looking for an easy-to-read, informative guide to aid in making a transition in your life, I don't recommend this book. If you're looking for an easy-to-read, motivational guide to aid the mental health of a loved one, I do recommend this book.

I read this to learn ways I could adapt myself and my environment for a family member while she's visiting. Based on the description and its calling itself a "guide," I was expecting ideas, strategies, general ideas, etc. There was even a whole section labeled "strategies." However, it landed much more in the "things to consider - discuss with your autistic" type thing. Which is good and has its place, but I wanted something to help give me suggestions to try. My family member doesn't know exactly what she wants or needs or likes yet, so I was hoping I could take some ideas from this to try. But instead, the book asked me the questions. For example, in the strategies section, it discussed family photo shoots and the stress they can cause. I was curious what an autistic-friendly version or solution to this issue would be. But the section simply points out the discomfort and says, "How can we capture memories of our family in ways that feel good to all of us?" It doesn't elaborate or offer possible alternatives. Most of the book is this way - posing important sensory questions but not offering ideas.

If you're new to autism and picked this book up to better understand the autistic experience, it's a good read for that. It reads like a conversation for the most part and elaborates on the author's experiences from childhood to adulthood, and it does underline some different sensory perspectives to consider. But, again, it focuses on the experience and understanding of their world instead of ways to make the world more autism-friendly.

Overall, it was an engaging, easy-to-read book that can be helpful if it reaches those trying to understand the autism experience instead of trying to make the environment more autism-friendly. I was going to give it 3 stars because it can definitely be useful to the correct audience. But I just feel the title/description can be misleading. It's described as a guide to help navigate the world, but does little other than explain how autistics experience the world. It has very little to offer those who have already read about how autistics experience the world.

[Alec ⟠]

This was an interesting look into neurodiversity and whilst it is primarily aimed at neurotypical family and friends, I found it to be a very enjoyable read as an autistic person. I loved that the author was neurodivergent, having lived experience of neurodivergence and how it can be different amongst people. I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking to learn more about neurodiversity, or advice on how to support the neurodivergent people in their lives.

[Jan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perhaps a subtitle might be "This is what those of us with Neurodivergent Brains live with." It is a look into how to change our own patterns for those we love but struggle to understand. Parts seem repetitive, but that is a good thing. Quite useful.
I requested and received an EARC from Jessica Kingsley Publishers via NetGalley.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for anyone with an autistic person in their lives. Whether you’re a parent, friend, spouse, colleague or teacher, this is a great insight into the ND world.
The audio version, read by the kiwi author, is brilliant.

[Laura Guillén · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Find your joy and focus there. Because even though you are in charge of your world, you are not responsible for the entire world. You deserve to breathe, and you deserve the best possible world for you."

[Ny · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a treasure. So many aha! moments, both from my ally perspective and from my self-reflection perspective. So many practical nudges. So much validation and encouragement. A much-needed reality check amid all the NT defaults and pressures.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved seeing a book written by a neurodivergent for neurotypicals. Appreciated the intersectional lens of Indigenous Maori culture.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

[Caitlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good but most of the book (with exception of the workplace chapter) was very parent-child-centric

[Sherry · Rating 4 out of 5]

It helped me understand autism for adults.

[Cal | slug wife reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this book from the publisher through NetGalley. Review also posted on NetGalley.

I really enjoyed Notes for Neuro Navigators - I felt that it gave a nice overview of Neurodivergence and Autism for readers who may not be intimately acquainted with the topics already. I will say that I went into this book expecting more tangible steps on how to navigate life as someone who is Neurodivergent, or perhaps more intricately how to support a partner who is. A lot of this book focused on supporting Autistics who are children, and I found that interesting, but not necessarily useful as someone who does not have children and is not a teacher.

I loved the intersectional view of Autism and Indigeneity, and the way the author connected concepts and viewpoints back to her Māori roots was really beautiful to me. I found the book easy to read and read it over the span of an afternoon and evening, and I loved the formatting of breaking out new concept in bubbles and tangible steps into bullet points - it was very easy to process!