Married & Alone

by Douglas Weiss

When we marry we hope to have a life of closeness and connectedness with our spouse. Surprisingly some spouses realize after their wedding that they feel married and alone. These men and women feel unloved, uncherished, untouched and disconnected inside their marriage. Chances are they married someone who struggles with intimacy anorexia. The pages you are about to read, will not only unlock the understanding of intimacy anorexia but you will also hear the voices and experiences of men and women who like you, have found themselves married and alone.

Genres: Marriage

206 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2011

Reviews

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is a lot of good stuff in this book, it's not that long, and a worthwhile read for anyone on either side of such a relationship (or anti-relationship), or for that matter concerned family and friends. Definitely some caveats, though. The main one is Weiss' frequent statements equivalent to, "the intimacy anorexic is doing this to you deliberately." There is absolutely a true way to understand this: that addicts, including IAs, have the choice whether to enter and stick with recovery or not, including coming back after relapses. However, in a lot of places he makes it sound like every single act of IAness is a deliberate crime against the spouse, and that's just not what addiction is; we all know that by now. That's the bloody First Step. Addicts have made choices that helped (**helped**... how few have managed it all on their own?) make them into addicts, but once in that hole they do not have that kind of detailed control over their actions, not even in recovery. (Even to the extent that any finite, flawed human being has the ability to live their lives without sin.)

The Kindle version looks like it has not been edited but was just dumped into that format without any error checking. No idea what the print versions are like.

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

My SIL lent this to me so that I could understand better what she and my BIL are going through in support groups and counseling. I had no idea that Intimacy Anorexia existed, much less what my SIL has been going through all these years. Very informative and well written along with a 12 step program in the book. I am thankful that they have finally gotten help and are healing their marriage.