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What's Not Broken
Being a teenager is hard enough without the added pressure of keeping a secret.
Eli is a typical teenage boy in the South. He goes to school and hates it, plays football and loves it, and goes to church because it's expected. Everything in his life is right on track until an incident in the football locker room with a fellow teammate ignites feelings he didn't know he had and turns it all upside down, setting him on a life-changing journey to find out the truth about the secret he's now harboring. A secret that makes him question everything. A secret that has the potential to change the way everyone else feels about him. A secret that no one on earth knows but his best friend Sam.
What's Not Broken follows the life of sophomore Eli Ridgewood on his search for truth and how it affects those around him in a poignant story of life and love and loss.
Eli is a typical teenage boy in the South. He goes to school and hates it, plays football and loves it, and goes to church because it's expected. Everything in his life is right on track until an incident in the football locker room with a fellow teammate ignites feelings he didn't know he had and turns it all upside down, setting him on a life-changing journey to find out the truth about the secret he's now harboring. A secret that makes him question everything. A secret that has the potential to change the way everyone else feels about him. A secret that no one on earth knows but his best friend Sam.
What's Not Broken follows the life of sophomore Eli Ridgewood on his search for truth and how it affects those around him in a poignant story of life and love and loss.
309 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 23, 2013
16 people are currently reading
194 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
October 27, 2017
You know how when you finish an awesome romance, and you're full of the warm fuzzies? Yeah? That's not this book. This book left me feeling...yukky. And super annoyed that I'd wasted all that time finishing it.
This is not a feeling I'm burdened with often - I consider myself a fairly Benevolent Reader of Contemporary Romance, on the whole. I'm prepared to let the author stretch the bounds of reality to deliver me my warm fuzzies to a fairly generous extent, if I do say so myself: teenagers that talk and act like adults; the character that never, ever fails to have the perfect, witty one-liner at the perfect moment; authors who continuously confuse a minute with a moment; the way sex lasts hours and hours (sans viagra!) every. single. time; the way a conveniently placed streetlight never fails to perfectly illuminate a sleeping face in a bedroom (should the moon fail to do so first); insta-love and tingling electricity at first touch (stop wearing plastic fleece on windy days, guys!)....
Of course, even the most Benevolent Reader has their limits (say, overlooking the many errors in lexicon and geography in a series set in Australia, but drawing the line when they let the dog out "to chase squirrels". Clue: we do not have squirrels here in Australia. It may or may not have been the last straw).
This book, however, pushed my limits from the start. See please, for example, in the opening chapters, our protagonist coming home with grazed knuckles and a black eye. He tells his parents he "slid his bike". They believe him, unequivocally. Despite the fact he wears a full helmet. And his bike is unscathed. As are his legs. Oh, and . Seriously?? I know parents can not see what they don't want to see, or give their children the benefit of the doubt. But they didn't even question it. And it just went downhill from there. So, no. Just no.
So why did I keep reading? Good question. I'm torturing myself with that right now. After torturing myself by finishing this book. For some reason, I thought maybe the father actually had a clue and would show his hand later. And this was pretty much my mindset throughout the entire book: I kept thinking "but surely he's going to reveal...." or "they're playing some kind of long game, because they're actions are just too unrealistic and out of character otherwise..." and even "surely that enormous clichéd plot point just dropped in there shouldn't be taken at face value!".
There are times I really, really hate being an eternally optomistic Benevolent Reader. This was really, really one of them.
To add insult to injury, I finished the book loathing Wesley, too. He was a dick. He had excellent reasons for his actions early on, but it dragged, he was awful, and lets just say - yukky feelings ensued at the ending instead of warm fuzzies.
Now, as a Benevolent reader I try to give reviews that have a positive and encouraging tone, where even if I don't love the book I highlight what I did enjoy, or why I think the author may be worth another try in future. Clearly, this is not that kind of review. So, why review it? What's the take-home message here?
Basically, it's a case of 'abandon hope all ye who enter here'. Seriously, save yourself that day you'll otherwise never get back. Spend your reading time wisely, reading authors that know the difference between a minute and a moment (ok, that one might annoy me somewhat more than I let on), and that Australia is most certainly devoid of squirrels.
Enjoy your reading time people. Just not with this book.
This is not a feeling I'm burdened with often - I consider myself a fairly Benevolent Reader of Contemporary Romance, on the whole. I'm prepared to let the author stretch the bounds of reality to deliver me my warm fuzzies to a fairly generous extent, if I do say so myself: teenagers that talk and act like adults; the character that never, ever fails to have the perfect, witty one-liner at the perfect moment; authors who continuously confuse a minute with a moment; the way sex lasts hours and hours (sans viagra!) every. single. time; the way a conveniently placed streetlight never fails to perfectly illuminate a sleeping face in a bedroom (should the moon fail to do so first); insta-love and tingling electricity at first touch (stop wearing plastic fleece on windy days, guys!)....
Of course, even the most Benevolent Reader has their limits (say, overlooking the many errors in lexicon and geography in a series set in Australia, but drawing the line when they let the dog out "to chase squirrels". Clue: we do not have squirrels here in Australia. It may or may not have been the last straw).
This book, however, pushed my limits from the start. See please, for example, in the opening chapters, our protagonist coming home with grazed knuckles and a black eye. He tells his parents he "slid his bike". They believe him, unequivocally. Despite the fact he wears a full helmet. And his bike is unscathed. As are his legs. Oh, and . Seriously?? I know parents can not see what they don't want to see, or give their children the benefit of the doubt. But they didn't even question it. And it just went downhill from there. So, no. Just no.
So why did I keep reading? Good question. I'm torturing myself with that right now. After torturing myself by finishing this book. For some reason, I thought maybe the father actually had a clue and would show his hand later. And this was pretty much my mindset throughout the entire book: I kept thinking "but surely he's going to reveal...." or "they're playing some kind of long game, because they're actions are just too unrealistic and out of character otherwise..." and even "surely that enormous clichéd plot point just dropped in there shouldn't be taken at face value!".
There are times I really, really hate being an eternally optomistic Benevolent Reader. This was really, really one of them.
To add insult to injury, I finished the book loathing Wesley, too. He was a dick. He had excellent reasons for his actions early on, but it dragged, he was awful, and lets just say - yukky feelings ensued at the ending instead of warm fuzzies.
Now, as a Benevolent reader I try to give reviews that have a positive and encouraging tone, where even if I don't love the book I highlight what I did enjoy, or why I think the author may be worth another try in future. Clearly, this is not that kind of review. So, why review it? What's the take-home message here?
Basically, it's a case of 'abandon hope all ye who enter here'. Seriously, save yourself that day you'll otherwise never get back. Spend your reading time wisely, reading authors that know the difference between a minute and a moment (ok, that one might annoy me somewhat more than I let on), and that Australia is most certainly devoid of squirrels.
Enjoy your reading time people. Just not with this book.
November 1, 2013
I was compelled to finish this book if only to be confident in my review and rating it as a 2-star read. Whatever binding and compelling force got me through the first 100 pages simply exhausted and I realized that the character development I was looking for and the empathy I expected to develop for Eli was never going to come. I was not wrong, and painfully coasted to the end constantly asking myself why I was still reading and hadn't dropped it yet.
This work lacks story momentum... and if stories that lack action should at least provoke thoughtful consideration or moral consternation... well, it fails there, too. Literally every relationship that Eli has in the book feels like large parts are omitted, even with his twin sister. Plus the ending was fanciful and simplistic-- the stuff of a fairy tale barely tainted by the one major plot event in the book.
I wanted to like this book. It just never pulled together.
This work lacks story momentum... and if stories that lack action should at least provoke thoughtful consideration or moral consternation... well, it fails there, too. Literally every relationship that Eli has in the book feels like large parts are omitted, even with his twin sister. Plus the ending was fanciful and simplistic-- the stuff of a fairy tale barely tainted by the one major plot event in the book.
I wanted to like this book. It just never pulled together.
March 29, 2018
I never write worded reviews but I couldn't just skip with this one. This is easily the worst gay interest young adult book I've ever read, and I've read some crappy ones. The main protagonist is awful, you can't connect with him at all and the rest of the characters are just as shallow in depth. Run. Far away.
December 11, 2018
When I first read this book, I gave it a 3.5. To me it was just the middle of the road; however, I've found myself coming back to this book on more than one occasion. I've begun to see it as a guilty pleasure, though I don't really think it's a book to be guilty of. Now when I read this book, I give it a pretty fond 4 stars. And the truth is, it's not even a book I would consider a personal favorite of mine.
A lot of this book is a roller coaster of emotion, and I can see why so many people might not like this book. The characters are so up and down, and there's so much shifting in tone from light and playful, to dark and depressing, your head practically spins from trying to keep up. By the end of this book, I was so worried it was going to mess me up emotionally. This book had gave me a near scare--I was exhausted after reading. However, the last chapter really did pull it around with a cute and sappy ending that made the bumpy journey worth it in the end. And I'm a sucker for a happy ending, cliche or cheesy as it is. That last line killed me.
This book is of course not without flaw. While I am happy for the relationship with Wesley and Eli, and its hopeful conclusion, the road to it was unnecessarily bumpy. At times, the relationship felt unhealthy on both ends and there were instances where I wondered if it be better for them to move on. Even before hitting the last chapter, I either hoped him and Wesley would somehow reunite for good, or Eli would move on, and while the former did happen, pleasing me all the same, a part of me wonders if it would have been better to move on.
It's ironic because usually I want the main couple to stay together in the end (if they're a good and healthy relationship), because of how much time is devoted to them. So when they do end up splitting, especially like a chapter before the end, with no real reason or expectancy, it leaves me bitter. I take away book rating points when they pull that stuff; I hate it. However, because Eli and Wesley's relationship was already shaky, and a little problematic, I was more willing to accept the idea of Eli moving on, even if it was the very last chapter.
That brings me to the slight problem of Eli's somewhat crazy obsession. Maybe it is just a clever play on the idea of teens idolizing their first loves, but Eli fell in love with Wesley so quick, and so hard; this boy was ready to die a bitter old widow at like 17. Like I know you're in a fictional world and your options are limited to whatever the author writes/introduces you too, but there are more fish in the sea baby, you will survive. Like this boy was like, "I found my soulmate, and even if he doesn't love me, no one else will ever be good enough" and I'm like "Chill out baby, go suck a few more d**** and then see if you still feel the same." I just felt his love and obsession was a little too Shakespearean. Guess that's why he's an actor?
So the relationship at times had me pulling my hair in frustration, and sometimes I was unsure if the happy end was a little too sappy (Who am I?), but as time has passed, and I've gone back to this story again and again, I start to appreciate more of their dynamic. It's messy, it's not perfect, it's hectic and rage inducing, but in some ways, I kind of do like it. I enjoy a different romance that has to slow burn in a different way from the current fluff of LGBTQA books. I like that there's a raw grittiness to this book, that makes you realize that not all relationships are going to be an easy road to pave. Their struggles and issues feel so much more tense and painful, especially as I grow to understand and sympathize with Wesley more.
Now I understand most people probably have the most gripe with Wesley for being such an on the fence character, but for me, who has grown to start understanding, and respecting closeted characters more, his struggles and fears feel so much more realistic. It's nice to see a character feel so stuck, and try so hard, both hating himself, and fighting to try and love himself, throughout the story. He doesn't just want to be loved and accepted by his family, he has too. And for a lot of people who are out, and proud, I can see why they'd be frustrated by his back and forth, wish washy nature. But for someone who feels so afraid and trapped, his need to be accepted makes his struggle of identity more heartbreaking and understandable. I'm sure there are many people in the closet who have felt this way and have had to hurt their significant others because they were afraid of losing the only people they thought they had--or worse, being hurt/killed for revealing their sexuality. I like that Wesley is not your typical love interest. I like that he genuinely cares for Eli, but is also unintentionally, and intentionally hurting Eli, not because he simply likes jerking his chain around, but because he can't accept himself. I love his progression: his protectiveness, his jealousy, his cockiness, his anxiety, his fear, his anger. All of those emotions that lead into his eventual acceptance, and breaking out of those dark mindsets. Yes, he does some asshole things, but so does Eli, and in the end, Wesley's doing them more to try and fit in, to try and mold himself into someone else's image. He's not doing it simply to hurt Eli, who on the other hand, does more hurtful things because he's jealous and refusing to accept Wesley's personal demons. So while some people may dislike him, I think Wesley is a character I don't get to see much in books, and have them done in a way that makes them simultaneously unlikable and likable. He does come around, he does learn slowly, he does start to break through that homophobic mold. He's a really interesting character, and I kind of like to see more characters like him.
Again, this book is not for everyone, and I get why people wouldn't like it. I'm not the type who typically likes these types of book. But I think it's well written, the characters are memorable, and it tells a pretty great story from start to finish.
A lot of this book is a roller coaster of emotion, and I can see why so many people might not like this book. The characters are so up and down, and there's so much shifting in tone from light and playful, to dark and depressing, your head practically spins from trying to keep up. By the end of this book, I was so worried it was going to mess me up emotionally. This book had gave me a near scare--I was exhausted after reading. However, the last chapter really did pull it around with a cute and sappy ending that made the bumpy journey worth it in the end. And I'm a sucker for a happy ending, cliche or cheesy as it is. That last line killed me.
This book is of course not without flaw. While I am happy for the relationship with Wesley and Eli, and its hopeful conclusion, the road to it was unnecessarily bumpy. At times, the relationship felt unhealthy on both ends and there were instances where I wondered if it be better for them to move on. Even before hitting the last chapter, I either hoped him and Wesley would somehow reunite for good, or Eli would move on, and while the former did happen, pleasing me all the same, a part of me wonders if it would have been better to move on.
It's ironic because usually I want the main couple to stay together in the end (if they're a good and healthy relationship), because of how much time is devoted to them. So when they do end up splitting, especially like a chapter before the end, with no real reason or expectancy, it leaves me bitter. I take away book rating points when they pull that stuff; I hate it. However, because Eli and Wesley's relationship was already shaky, and a little problematic, I was more willing to accept the idea of Eli moving on, even if it was the very last chapter.
That brings me to the slight problem of Eli's somewhat crazy obsession. Maybe it is just a clever play on the idea of teens idolizing their first loves, but Eli fell in love with Wesley so quick, and so hard; this boy was ready to die a bitter old widow at like 17. Like I know you're in a fictional world and your options are limited to whatever the author writes/introduces you too, but there are more fish in the sea baby, you will survive. Like this boy was like, "I found my soulmate, and even if he doesn't love me, no one else will ever be good enough" and I'm like "Chill out baby, go suck a few more d**** and then see if you still feel the same." I just felt his love and obsession was a little too Shakespearean. Guess that's why he's an actor?
So the relationship at times had me pulling my hair in frustration, and sometimes I was unsure if the happy end was a little too sappy (Who am I?), but as time has passed, and I've gone back to this story again and again, I start to appreciate more of their dynamic. It's messy, it's not perfect, it's hectic and rage inducing, but in some ways, I kind of do like it. I enjoy a different romance that has to slow burn in a different way from the current fluff of LGBTQA books. I like that there's a raw grittiness to this book, that makes you realize that not all relationships are going to be an easy road to pave. Their struggles and issues feel so much more tense and painful, especially as I grow to understand and sympathize with Wesley more.
Now I understand most people probably have the most gripe with Wesley for being such an on the fence character, but for me, who has grown to start understanding, and respecting closeted characters more, his struggles and fears feel so much more realistic. It's nice to see a character feel so stuck, and try so hard, both hating himself, and fighting to try and love himself, throughout the story. He doesn't just want to be loved and accepted by his family, he has too. And for a lot of people who are out, and proud, I can see why they'd be frustrated by his back and forth, wish washy nature. But for someone who feels so afraid and trapped, his need to be accepted makes his struggle of identity more heartbreaking and understandable. I'm sure there are many people in the closet who have felt this way and have had to hurt their significant others because they were afraid of losing the only people they thought they had--or worse, being hurt/killed for revealing their sexuality. I like that Wesley is not your typical love interest. I like that he genuinely cares for Eli, but is also unintentionally, and intentionally hurting Eli, not because he simply likes jerking his chain around, but because he can't accept himself. I love his progression: his protectiveness, his jealousy, his cockiness, his anxiety, his fear, his anger. All of those emotions that lead into his eventual acceptance, and breaking out of those dark mindsets. Yes, he does some asshole things, but so does Eli, and in the end, Wesley's doing them more to try and fit in, to try and mold himself into someone else's image. He's not doing it simply to hurt Eli, who on the other hand, does more hurtful things because he's jealous and refusing to accept Wesley's personal demons. So while some people may dislike him, I think Wesley is a character I don't get to see much in books, and have them done in a way that makes them simultaneously unlikable and likable. He does come around, he does learn slowly, he does start to break through that homophobic mold. He's a really interesting character, and I kind of like to see more characters like him.
Again, this book is not for everyone, and I get why people wouldn't like it. I'm not the type who typically likes these types of book. But I think it's well written, the characters are memorable, and it tells a pretty great story from start to finish.
July 6, 2023
I was very satisfied after finishing this book. However, for this particular genre, this novel is unusually long, and I'm not sure that it needs to be. In my opinion, some more editing can be done for better pacing and focus.
As for the last chapters, I'm kind of caught between liking them and not liking them. On one hand, the gradual rise from the lowest point (the beating) to the highest point (the reunion) has left a very strong impression. On the other hand, the ending is a bit over the top, but perhaps the greater problem is that it's very, very predictable; there are too many clues along the way. Still, overall the book tells a memorable story about a special kind of love and overcoming obstacles in the path.
As for the last chapters, I'm kind of caught between liking them and not liking them. On one hand, the gradual rise from the lowest point (the beating) to the highest point (the reunion) has left a very strong impression. On the other hand, the ending is a bit over the top, but perhaps the greater problem is that it's very, very predictable; there are too many clues along the way. Still, overall the book tells a memorable story about a special kind of love and overcoming obstacles in the path.
January 16, 2017
This is probably the worst book I've ever read. The main character left me nothing but frustrated. And as another commenter said, the ending was fanciful and simplistic. Not to mention, totally predictable. I only finished this book to be fair, and I gave it way more chances than it deserved. I shouldn't have wasted my time finishing it. I've never given a book one-star before - I rarely even give two!
January 8, 2014
I found it fear hard to get into this book. I didn't like Eli at the beginning and I certainly didn't like Wesley for most of the book. However, the last third is so beautifully written that I got swept away and ended up loving it.
February 3, 2017
Gay boy falls for a boy who is (maybe) straight or is (maybe) gay
What if you fell for a guy who claimed that he's not gay but keeps flirting with you? That's the basic theme of this novel as we follow Eli, the first-person protagonist, as he begins to accept that he's gay. There are many twists and turns and good and bad people and circumstances to keep you reading to the last page. The important characters are well-rounded and realistic, and what happens to Eli and the some of his right and wrong decisions made me want to grab him and shake him and yell, "What the f* are you doing?!" I like a story that gets me that involved. BTW, there's no gratuitous or graphic sex, but there's a lot of discussion on that subject. And kissing.
Highly recommended.
What if you fell for a guy who claimed that he's not gay but keeps flirting with you? That's the basic theme of this novel as we follow Eli, the first-person protagonist, as he begins to accept that he's gay. There are many twists and turns and good and bad people and circumstances to keep you reading to the last page. The important characters are well-rounded and realistic, and what happens to Eli and the some of his right and wrong decisions made me want to grab him and shake him and yell, "What the f* are you doing?!" I like a story that gets me that involved. BTW, there's no gratuitous or graphic sex, but there's a lot of discussion on that subject. And kissing.
Highly recommended.
November 24, 2018
I thoroughly enjoyed What's Not Broken and I highly recommend it regardless of the inclusion of some minor religious bumpf.
I felt the character progression was masterful allowing me to feel as though I really connected with each character even though a lot was not said about their histories.
I know this may read as wishy washy but, I'm truly grateful to the author for writing this story. Thank you
As for the negative reviews I've just read, I can't help feeling as though the reviewers didn't read the same book as I did. What's Not Broken is a very enjoyable and uplifting read
I felt the character progression was masterful allowing me to feel as though I really connected with each character even though a lot was not said about their histories.
I know this may read as wishy washy but, I'm truly grateful to the author for writing this story. Thank you
As for the negative reviews I've just read, I can't help feeling as though the reviewers didn't read the same book as I did. What's Not Broken is a very enjoyable and uplifting read
October 16, 2018
Great book
This was a very enjoyable book. The story was captivating and helped understanding of how a young teenage boy deals with his sexual feels for another boy also the problem of homophobia.
This was a very enjoyable book. The story was captivating and helped understanding of how a young teenage boy deals with his sexual feels for another boy also the problem of homophobia.
May 5, 2019
Awwww
This book is magical. I didn't at first like the protagonists first love but at the end it all works and fits together perfectly. Lovely romance filled with a bit of suspense. 100% recommend
This book is magical. I didn't at first like the protagonists first love but at the end it all works and fits together perfectly. Lovely romance filled with a bit of suspense. 100% recommend
May 29, 2021
Middle of the road.
This one inspires to be great, but doesn’t park it for me. This is the story of Eli and Wesley, who meet when Eli, a sophomore jock, questions his sexuality, befriends the only gay classmate he knows, and ventures to a gay bar. Let’s cut to the chase. The insta-love is off the charts, it’s overly sappy and descriptive, and the secondary characters are hit or miss. Eli takes a girlfriend to deflect those who would out him, and I didn’t know what to make of her. She was the shy geek, then she wasn’t, then she was fully understanding of what Eli did to her. Wesley was clearly a troubled kid with serious issues who eventually got it together, but his narrative was haphazard and I never bought too deeply into the insta-love. The bromance with Bennett and the late characterization of Eli’s mom and sister made it all worth it for me. Solid stuff there.
There’s no comeuppance for Sam, and that’s truly unforgivable based on how his storyline ended.
Call it 3 stars.
This one inspires to be great, but doesn’t park it for me. This is the story of Eli and Wesley, who meet when Eli, a sophomore jock, questions his sexuality, befriends the only gay classmate he knows, and ventures to a gay bar. Let’s cut to the chase. The insta-love is off the charts, it’s overly sappy and descriptive, and the secondary characters are hit or miss. Eli takes a girlfriend to deflect those who would out him, and I didn’t know what to make of her. She was the shy geek, then she wasn’t, then she was fully understanding of what Eli did to her. Wesley was clearly a troubled kid with serious issues who eventually got it together, but his narrative was haphazard and I never bought too deeply into the insta-love. The bromance with Bennett and the late characterization of Eli’s mom and sister made it all worth it for me. Solid stuff there.
There’s no comeuppance for Sam, and that’s truly unforgivable based on how his storyline ended.
Call it 3 stars.
February 5, 2016
I prefer never to read anything romantic, but I do like a good coming-of-age LGBTQ+ story, and it was on sale, so here I am.
The basics: Recommended for ages 13-18 (particularly gay teens in the Bible Belt); content warnings for only gay angst and heavy bullying, and a few pages of semi-steamy pre-sexual romance.
This book feels like the book that I'd have written at age 15, if I actually finished writing anything at that age. That is to say: This book is written as a teenager would write a book.
It's not badly written, at all, but there are certainly cliches and writing characteristics of teenagers that make it less suitable for adult audiences. One example: 15 year olds easily get flawless fake IDs, easily get into 18+ bars, easily become attention-getting popular well-known members of these bars. Scenes only a teenager could imagine (I don't mean to sound judgmental or rude here! I'm writing from only personal experience).
There are also some issues with long dialogue scenes that actually are quite realistic, but realistic conversations don't read very well. It could do with some editing down of redundant lines in these pages of dialogue because it can get exhausting.
This book is very modern, which means I don't think it can age very well but it will hold the attention of teenagers within a few years of publishing. Many lines directly reference modern hip "indie-pop" songs and those references will be lost as the songs fade out of the Top 40. In 4 years, will lines like "We sit silent, listening to the lead singer of Neon Trees warning us that everybody talks too much, when I. . . " or "The lead singer of fun. begins to enthusiastically encourage me to carry on even when I'm sinking like a stone as (spoiler) comes near and sits on the edge of my bed. . . " make sense anymore? They hardly make sense now and there are more than a dozen of those instances.
Still, the modern references might make it more enticing for current readers who like to be part of the world they're reading.
One thing I was very happy about: The book does not ignore bisexuality entirely, which is a common problem in all queer media (and real life too).
One thing I was not at all happy about: One of the side characters, Wesley, has the better story, and actually an extremely dark and painful story that seems somewhat brushed off and spoken of so casually and almost offensively. The burden of his own pain is so difficult. I did read that the author is working on a sequel for the character Bennett, which is great and I may read it... Maybe Wesley's story is too difficult to tackle.
Another smaller thing that lost me is the . Maybe it's because I am far, far from growing up in a "traditional" life, I know, but in what world is ... reasonable? I get that it's a thing, but for every character to treat it as inevitable... okay, maybe my qualms are more with absurdity of the Southern conservative family mindset than the writer... I really don't know.
Anyway, the story kept me interested for the two days that it took to read it (I read slowly but the book was longer than typical books in this genre). I never considered quitting it and it kept my full attention throughout, particularly during certain chapters that were emotional and very personal to me.
The main character is someone I just wanted to hug and help guide, which he clearly needed, and he's reasonably relatable to younger queer teens.
Despite that I don't like romance, and the author is very, very, very into romance, it was tolerable in this particular book. And, despite my objection to a few certain elements in the book, it was a good read to spend a few of the first days of the year.
The basics: Recommended for ages 13-18 (particularly gay teens in the Bible Belt); content warnings for only gay angst and heavy bullying, and a few pages of semi-steamy pre-sexual romance.
This book feels like the book that I'd have written at age 15, if I actually finished writing anything at that age. That is to say: This book is written as a teenager would write a book.
It's not badly written, at all, but there are certainly cliches and writing characteristics of teenagers that make it less suitable for adult audiences. One example: 15 year olds easily get flawless fake IDs, easily get into 18+ bars, easily become attention-getting popular well-known members of these bars. Scenes only a teenager could imagine (I don't mean to sound judgmental or rude here! I'm writing from only personal experience).
There are also some issues with long dialogue scenes that actually are quite realistic, but realistic conversations don't read very well. It could do with some editing down of redundant lines in these pages of dialogue because it can get exhausting.
This book is very modern, which means I don't think it can age very well but it will hold the attention of teenagers within a few years of publishing. Many lines directly reference modern hip "indie-pop" songs and those references will be lost as the songs fade out of the Top 40. In 4 years, will lines like "We sit silent, listening to the lead singer of Neon Trees warning us that everybody talks too much, when I. . . " or "The lead singer of fun. begins to enthusiastically encourage me to carry on even when I'm sinking like a stone as (spoiler) comes near and sits on the edge of my bed. . . " make sense anymore? They hardly make sense now and there are more than a dozen of those instances.
Still, the modern references might make it more enticing for current readers who like to be part of the world they're reading.
One thing I was very happy about: The book does not ignore bisexuality entirely, which is a common problem in all queer media (and real life too).
One thing I was not at all happy about: One of the side characters, Wesley, has the better story, and actually an extremely dark and painful story that seems somewhat brushed off and spoken of so casually and almost offensively. The burden of his own pain is so difficult. I did read that the author is working on a sequel for the character Bennett, which is great and I may read it... Maybe Wesley's story is too difficult to tackle.
Another smaller thing that lost me is the . Maybe it's because I am far, far from growing up in a "traditional" life, I know, but in what world is ... reasonable? I get that it's a thing, but for every character to treat it as inevitable... okay, maybe my qualms are more with absurdity of the Southern conservative family mindset than the writer... I really don't know.
Anyway, the story kept me interested for the two days that it took to read it (I read slowly but the book was longer than typical books in this genre). I never considered quitting it and it kept my full attention throughout, particularly during certain chapters that were emotional and very personal to me.
The main character is someone I just wanted to hug and help guide, which he clearly needed, and he's reasonably relatable to younger queer teens.
Despite that I don't like romance, and the author is very, very, very into romance, it was tolerable in this particular book. And, despite my objection to a few certain elements in the book, it was a good read to spend a few of the first days of the year.
January 1, 2020
I feel at times that when a book gets a bad review, the reader fails to put themselves not only in the shoes of the character, but into that specific world. Other times, I feel people fail to take something as it is, try too hard to be a critic, and nitpick something to death so much that they miss the point entirely. When I don't like something, I not only usually won't finish it, but i'll also simply say it wasn't for me. I feel the other readers who mentioned they hated it but finished it were anxious to do so because they were looking forward to being negative.
I loved this book. There are plenty of things I related to and things people I know have dealt with. Everything from Eli's struggle to figure out who and what he likes to Wesley's self harm. These ARE things real people deal with. At the same time, you figure there have to be young people who are struggling the same way reading this book who are wondering if they will ever get their own happy ending in real life. Hence why it ending the way it does makes sense. A book like this is going to attract a certain type of reader. Are there things that are "triggering" or "problematic" going on here? Sure. But that's real life. Remember, these are teenagers you're reading about. Some things are bound to be over-dramatic and characters will make bad decisions.
If you're expecting everything you pick up to be Pulitzer worthy, you're going to be disappointed. I don't think that means you have to tear down lighter fare, though.
I loved this book. There are plenty of things I related to and things people I know have dealt with. Everything from Eli's struggle to figure out who and what he likes to Wesley's self harm. These ARE things real people deal with. At the same time, you figure there have to be young people who are struggling the same way reading this book who are wondering if they will ever get their own happy ending in real life. Hence why it ending the way it does makes sense. A book like this is going to attract a certain type of reader. Are there things that are "triggering" or "problematic" going on here? Sure. But that's real life. Remember, these are teenagers you're reading about. Some things are bound to be over-dramatic and characters will make bad decisions.
If you're expecting everything you pick up to be Pulitzer worthy, you're going to be disappointed. I don't think that means you have to tear down lighter fare, though.
January 16, 2017
I must first say that I loved this book. The well-written tale of first love and coming of age as gay, and coming out, is a page-turner. That's why I give it five stars. But I must say there is an abundance of sadness and pain in this tale filled with ups and serious downs. Such is life. I just wasn't expecting to be so saddened during a gay YA read. Saddened occasionally, sure. But there are some heartbreaking moments here. Still, it's really a tremendous work of fiction, and, in the end, inspiring.
February 4, 2017
The feels are strong with this one
15 year old Eli is searching for an answer to whether or not he's gay. He befriends the only gay guy he knows to help him with his quest. With fake ID in hand the head to a gay club two hours away. Eli's question is answered following a life-changing hug from Wes. Too bad Wes is straight.
A great story. A bit clunky at times. Loaded with tear-inducing angst. It all comes down to a magical shirt and a couple of classic rock songs. 4.1 for the tears and aching throat. Would have gone higher with a bit of house keeping.
15 year old Eli is searching for an answer to whether or not he's gay. He befriends the only gay guy he knows to help him with his quest. With fake ID in hand the head to a gay club two hours away. Eli's question is answered following a life-changing hug from Wes. Too bad Wes is straight.
A great story. A bit clunky at times. Loaded with tear-inducing angst. It all comes down to a magical shirt and a couple of classic rock songs. 4.1 for the tears and aching throat. Would have gone higher with a bit of house keeping.
August 11, 2013
3.5 Stars
October 1, 2013
I really loved this book. I would have given it 5 stars except the ending was a little over the top in my opinion. Still, it's definitely worth reading.
June 23, 2014
I loved it! From beginning to end!
February 22, 2016
Simply amazing
This book was amazingly written. A story that speakers volumes of a teenager struggling with sexual identity growing up in the church.
This book was amazingly written. A story that speakers volumes of a teenager struggling with sexual identity growing up in the church.
July 22, 2015
This book was recommended by a friend.
A well-written story about a teenager figuring out who he is and coming to terms with his identity and how his peers/family/church respond.
A well-written story about a teenager figuring out who he is and coming to terms with his identity and how his peers/family/church respond.
March 19, 2025
DNF. Very poorly written. Would not recommend
April 17, 2017
i really wish we could use .5 to rate a book, cuz I really want to rate this 3.5 but I can't and since I'm feeling nice I'm gonna round up instead of down.
I liked this book but there were a couple things that annoyed me.
- it started out with a fifteen old having beaten his best friend up the night before pretty badly and not for a very good reason. I mean if you're gonna start the book that way then atleast make it a good reason why he attacked his best friend
- the feelings/thoughts were mostly realistic and relatable but it was really annoying how much time the author wasted on trying to add angst and keep the MCs apart.
- what pisses me off the most is that neither Wesley nor Eli identified their attackers. I mean WTF?! those boys would've killed them if they hadn't been interrupted by sirens and now because neither Eli or Wesley identified them those boys are able to walk around freely and will probably attack someone again and possibly succeed the next time in actually killing their victim(s).
- also I was a lil annoyed that there was no sex scenes or even slightly sexual scenes between the main couple. it was barely even insinuated that the main couple ever even had sex which is REALLY annoying cuz they were straightforward about one of the MCs having had sex with a female.
I liked this book but there were a couple things that annoyed me.
- it started out with a fifteen old having beaten his best friend up the night before pretty badly and not for a very good reason. I mean if you're gonna start the book that way then atleast make it a good reason why he attacked his best friend
- the feelings/thoughts were mostly realistic and relatable but it was really annoying how much time the author wasted on trying to add angst and keep the MCs apart.
- what pisses me off the most is that neither Wesley nor Eli identified their attackers. I mean WTF?! those boys would've killed them if they hadn't been interrupted by sirens and now because neither Eli or Wesley identified them those boys are able to walk around freely and will probably attack someone again and possibly succeed the next time in actually killing their victim(s).
- also I was a lil annoyed that there was no sex scenes or even slightly sexual scenes between the main couple. it was barely even insinuated that the main couple ever even had sex which is REALLY annoying cuz they were straightforward about one of the MCs having had sex with a female.
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