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Change Me into Zeus's Daughter: A Memoir
A haunting and triumphant story of a difficult and keenly felt life, Change Me into Zeus's Daughter is a remarkable literary memoir of resilience, redemption, and growing up in the South. Barbara Robinette Moss was the fourth in a family of eight children raised in the red-clay hills of Alabama. Their wild-eyed, alcoholic father was a charismatic and irrationally proud man who, when sober, captured his children's timid awe, but when (more often) drunk, roused them from bed for severe punishment or bizarre all-night poker games. Their mother was their angel: erudite and stalwart -- her only sin her inability to leave her husband for the sake of the children.
Unlike the rest of her family, Barbara bore the scars of this abuse and neglect on the outside as well as the inside. As a result of childhood malnutrition and a complete lack of medical and dental care, the bones in her face grew abnormally ("like a thin pine tree"), and she ended up with what she calls "a twisted, mummy face." Barbara's memoir brings us deep into not only the world of Southern poverty and alcoholic child abuse but also the consciousness of one who is physically frail and awkward, relating how one girl's debilitating sense of her own physical appearance is ultimately saved by her faith in the transformative powers of artistic beauty: painting and writing.
From early on and with little encouragement from the world, Barbara embodied the fiery determination to change her fate and achieve a life defined by beauty. At age seven, she announced to the world that she would become an artist -- and so she did. Nightly, she prayed to become attractive, to be changed into "Zeus's daughter," the goddess of beauty, and when her prayers weren't answered, she did it herself, raising the money for years of braces followed by facial surgery. Growing up "so ugly," she felt the family's disgrace all the more acutely, but the result has been a keenly developed appreciation for beauty -- physical and artistic -- the evidence of which can be seen in her writing.
Despite the deprivation, the lingering image from this memoir is not of self-pity but of the incredible bond between these eight siblings: the raucous, childish fun they had together, the making-do, and the total devotion to their desperate mother, who absorbed most of the father's blows for them and who plied them with art and poetry in place of balanced meals. Gracefully and intelligently woven in layers of flashback, the persistent strength of Barbara Moss's memoir is itself a testament to the nearly lifesaving appreciation for literature that was her mother's greatest gift to her children.
Unlike the rest of her family, Barbara bore the scars of this abuse and neglect on the outside as well as the inside. As a result of childhood malnutrition and a complete lack of medical and dental care, the bones in her face grew abnormally ("like a thin pine tree"), and she ended up with what she calls "a twisted, mummy face." Barbara's memoir brings us deep into not only the world of Southern poverty and alcoholic child abuse but also the consciousness of one who is physically frail and awkward, relating how one girl's debilitating sense of her own physical appearance is ultimately saved by her faith in the transformative powers of artistic beauty: painting and writing.
From early on and with little encouragement from the world, Barbara embodied the fiery determination to change her fate and achieve a life defined by beauty. At age seven, she announced to the world that she would become an artist -- and so she did. Nightly, she prayed to become attractive, to be changed into "Zeus's daughter," the goddess of beauty, and when her prayers weren't answered, she did it herself, raising the money for years of braces followed by facial surgery. Growing up "so ugly," she felt the family's disgrace all the more acutely, but the result has been a keenly developed appreciation for beauty -- physical and artistic -- the evidence of which can be seen in her writing.
Despite the deprivation, the lingering image from this memoir is not of self-pity but of the incredible bond between these eight siblings: the raucous, childish fun they had together, the making-do, and the total devotion to their desperate mother, who absorbed most of the father's blows for them and who plied them with art and poetry in place of balanced meals. Gracefully and intelligently woven in layers of flashback, the persistent strength of Barbara Moss's memoir is itself a testament to the nearly lifesaving appreciation for literature that was her mother's greatest gift to her children.
317 pages, Paperback
First published September 12, 2000
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 234 reviews
September 26, 2010
What a powerful memoir of a truly harrowing childhood. Before GLASS CASTLE, there was this. Barbara Moss was one of eight children raised in abject poverty by a drunkard of a father and an inegmatic mother who, by not protecting herself and her children, seemed to condone the abuse: "She seemed to crave him as much as he craved alcohol." Barbara suffered physically for her neglect and malnutrition: Her teeth and face were disfigured, causing her more emotional suffering.
The writing here is fierce and poetic. I loved the way one story would lead to another memory, and then back to the original story. I never resented the digressions, because I knew if the two of us were sitting together and talking, that would be the way our afternoon would go.
I loved the threads of literature and music that wove through her story. Her family might have been poor, but they had music and poetry...
Barbara pulls herself out of her poverty-stricken home; she makes mistakes, she changes her appearance, she fights for education. She is a heroine, and Venus would be happy to call her 'sister.'
The writing here is fierce and poetic. I loved the way one story would lead to another memory, and then back to the original story. I never resented the digressions, because I knew if the two of us were sitting together and talking, that would be the way our afternoon would go.
I loved the threads of literature and music that wove through her story. Her family might have been poor, but they had music and poetry...
Barbara pulls herself out of her poverty-stricken home; she makes mistakes, she changes her appearance, she fights for education. She is a heroine, and Venus would be happy to call her 'sister.'
December 4, 2014
I'm just hitting the jackpot with memoirs this year. Can I brazenly give this book 100 stars? Throughout the majority of it I was both livid and aching because of the behavior and treatment of the father to his wife and children. And their living circumstances. And the poor but toughened mother and everything she put up with. But it was bolstered by the kindly people who helped them along the way.
Toward the end it took a fairly happy turn. There are so many things I want to say about this book, things I'd written out in my mind as I read. But it's fled me now like it always does. I'm daring myself to proclaim it Book of the Year.
Also, I'd like my children to read it only because they live in a safe, comfortable bubble and it would benefit them to read about those who don't.
Toward the end it took a fairly happy turn. There are so many things I want to say about this book, things I'd written out in my mind as I read. But it's fled me now like it always does. I'm daring myself to proclaim it Book of the Year.
Also, I'd like my children to read it only because they live in a safe, comfortable bubble and it would benefit them to read about those who don't.
August 9, 2016
Rather than compare this memoir to Angela's Ashes, I think that I would draw a comparison to Mary Karr's The Liars' Club. The books are quite similar: young girl in the south growing up in poverty with an abusive/drunk father and an oddly artistic/educated mother who doesn't quite fit the picture. Unlike Karr's poetic lyricism, though, Moss sticks to the facts. She describes her childhood growing up dirt poor in rural Alabama with her 7 brothers and sisters in exhilarating detail, recollecting the days when her alcoholic father drank away all the money and there was nothing to eat in the house. Nothing. The book has a very odd chronological sequence -- Moss jumps to and fro from childhood to adulthood to somewhere in between from page to page. Her hatred and wild love for her parents is fascinating and infuriating both -- one simply cannot believe that people live in such a way and survive. Perhaps not as beautifully told as others, and leaving many gaps, but a riveting tale nonetheless.
December 10, 2012
Fiercely honest coming of age novel of growing up poor and with parents that in their own ways are unable to provide for the needs of their children. It is a difficult book to relate to if one had a fairly normal/good childhood; but there is humor interspersed with the tragedy which keeps the book from becoming too heavy with despair and anger.
Although, it touches on heavy topics it is well written and opens up those doors that books to to let you become aware of lives that you yourself will not live. Great book!
Although, it touches on heavy topics it is well written and opens up those doors that books to to let you become aware of lives that you yourself will not live. Great book!
August 11, 2008
I picked this up because Amazon recommended it to me because I had read The Glass Castle. I had also read some reviews and people compared it a lot to Glass Castle. This book is a little choppy. Unlike The Glass Castle, which somewhat goes in order of the narrator's life...this book jumps around a lot. Each chapter is not connected to the one before or after. Barbara's father was a crazy alcoholic and everyone in the family was afraid of him. Barbara had a disfigured face that left her feeling like an ugly duckling her entire life. She discusses her apprearance at length and how it set the tone for every aspect of her life in both childhood and as an adult. In general I was pretty unimpressed. Yes, her life sucked, but she didn't put the book together very well. I kept waiting for "something" to happen, but it never did. She gets married and has a child and gets divorced, but she tells you about it as an afterthought in one paragraph. I would have liked to have known more about how she met her husband, what their life was like and what led to her pregnancy then divorce. She is very brief on that subject. One thing that was interesting about the book was that Barbara has many siblings and they each remembered their childhood and father very differently. Unfortunately, the abuse at the hands of their father ruined the lives of some of her siblings, while others hardly remembered any abuse at all. At times, it's hard to believe disfunction like this exists. Would've liked her story to have been more chronological, less choppy. Give it 3.5 stars
April 24, 2015
This book had the potential to be a five star story. However, all the author wanted to really talk about was her horrible father. There were lots of stories from her childhood about how the family survived not only extreme poverty but life with an incredibly abusive and alcoholic father. However, when it came to talking about her own journey, especially how she dealt with her facial deformity and life after reconstructive surgery, the author didn't really seem to want to tell the story. Another case of where the editors failed a first time author. Needed more balance between the story of her childhood and her adulthood.
May 1, 2018
Memoire of Barbara Moss who grew up in extreme poverty in Alabama hills in the 1960's as one of nine children with an abusive alcoholic father and a mother who felt she had few life options. Some basic similarities to books like Angela's Ashes, and The Glass Castle though because of malnutrition and lack of medical care Barbara grew up with a facial deformity that she called a " mummy face" and wishes much of her life to become beautiful like the daughter of Zeus in the stories of her childhood.
A good story of how one young girls resilience helps her move forward.
A good story of how one young girls resilience helps her move forward.
February 23, 2011
This was an absorbing, harrowing memoir of a girl growing up in a very poor family with an alcoholic father. I grew up with an alcoholic father, too, so some of what Moss experienced was familiar to me, but my dad was Ward Cleaver compared to hers. Her father was a self-absorbed sadist. It's amazing to me that his children still loved him and mourned him when he died.
Barbara's father spent money on booze even before feeding his family. She was so malnourished that her face was deformed, and as a young woman she spent her own money on having moles removed and having braces put on her teeth. Later, she was able to get an operation that corrected her severe jaw deformity.
What's really interesting is to speculate on why their mother Dorris stayed with their father SK. I grew up in the 60s, too, and I think it's easy to forget that women had few economic options at that time. What kind of job would Dorris have been able to get in rural Alabama? And who would have watched her seven children while she went to work? I think, too, that mothers have a biological bias towards staying with the father of their children while the children are young. I suppose it's cultural, too, since it certainly seems to have weakened in the past generation or two, but, still, I think mothers generally tend to feel that they need to hold a marriage together for the sake of their children. Later in life, Dorris did divorce SK, after her children were grown.
Barbara's father spent money on booze even before feeding his family. She was so malnourished that her face was deformed, and as a young woman she spent her own money on having moles removed and having braces put on her teeth. Later, she was able to get an operation that corrected her severe jaw deformity.
What's really interesting is to speculate on why their mother Dorris stayed with their father SK. I grew up in the 60s, too, and I think it's easy to forget that women had few economic options at that time. What kind of job would Dorris have been able to get in rural Alabama? And who would have watched her seven children while she went to work? I think, too, that mothers have a biological bias towards staying with the father of their children while the children are young. I suppose it's cultural, too, since it certainly seems to have weakened in the past generation or two, but, still, I think mothers generally tend to feel that they need to hold a marriage together for the sake of their children. Later in life, Dorris did divorce SK, after her children were grown.
September 2, 2022
I read this years ago, before college, and liked it. It's a great memoir written by a woman who grew up REALLY poor in rural Alabama. I decided to reread it recently because I spent 4.5 years (too long!) living in Alabama. I could better relate to some of the places she talks about, especially the house in Birmingham (I used to drive by that part of town every day on the way to work).
However, I didn't realize that poor Barbara died in 2009 when she was 54. That was devastating to read because of all the bad stuff she went through that she details in this book. She'd finally made it: she had a great career, she found a normal husband who's much better than her idiot exes, and she actually seemed happy. I'm so sad her life was over so soon after finding stability and happiness.
Also, this would have been 5 stars if it was less disjointed! Definitely interesting subject matter and good writing, but I think it could have benefitted from some structure.
However, I didn't realize that poor Barbara died in 2009 when she was 54. That was devastating to read because of all the bad stuff she went through that she details in this book. She'd finally made it: she had a great career, she found a normal husband who's much better than her idiot exes, and she actually seemed happy. I'm so sad her life was over so soon after finding stability and happiness.
Also, this would have been 5 stars if it was less disjointed! Definitely interesting subject matter and good writing, but I think it could have benefitted from some structure.
May 30, 2021
Barbara Robinette Moss tells the story of her childhood days in rural Alabama. Raised in a family of 7 children with and alcoholic and abusive father and a mother who stays with him leaves one to wonder at the articulate woman she turned out to be.
Malnourished and sick as a child, she suffered facial deformities that led her on a lifetime quest to be beautiful and to create beautiful things in the world....thus the title "Change Me into Zeus's Daughter."
Told with both a deep sadness but also an underlying sense of humour, Moss does somehow survive and come to terms with the family and their lot in life.
Theirs story is a testament to acceptance. determination and hope and rising above seemingly hopeless situations.
Malnourished and sick as a child, she suffered facial deformities that led her on a lifetime quest to be beautiful and to create beautiful things in the world....thus the title "Change Me into Zeus's Daughter."
Told with both a deep sadness but also an underlying sense of humour, Moss does somehow survive and come to terms with the family and their lot in life.
Theirs story is a testament to acceptance. determination and hope and rising above seemingly hopeless situations.
May 15, 2023
4.5 stars
April 3, 2018
The author Barbara Moss didn't really make it to my Gritty Girl List as I thought that she would. Like other reviewers that gave it three stars (2.5 really) I have mixed feelings. I would have liked to really know that little girl but it's possible that she was never very transparent and didn't really know herself very well. Like her mother who was joined at the hip to her husband, Barbara was oddly dependent on and in a way, though she both loved and hated them, idolized her parents.
This book has been compared to Glass Castles by Jeanette Walls. There is a similarity in the artistic mom and the eccentric dad but the cruelty administered by Barbara's father was something that no one should tolerate or accept.
I didn't like the jerkiness of the timeline jumping from decade to decade back and forth within a chapter. I wish it had been a fluid read because eventually it made me jump ahead to finish the thought and skipping some of the meandering.
I guess I agree with others that it had potential to be a much better story.
This book has been compared to Glass Castles by Jeanette Walls. There is a similarity in the artistic mom and the eccentric dad but the cruelty administered by Barbara's father was something that no one should tolerate or accept.
I didn't like the jerkiness of the timeline jumping from decade to decade back and forth within a chapter. I wish it had been a fluid read because eventually it made me jump ahead to finish the thought and skipping some of the meandering.
I guess I agree with others that it had potential to be a much better story.
November 7, 2012
I found this book written by Barbara Robinette Moss mesmerizing to say the least. I am also from the same part of Alabama as she. Even though my own childhood was quite different than hers, I felt myself so into her world. I wasn't pitying her (she was proud) but Empathy is the emotion I had for this family. She tried so hard to hold onto her hopes and dreams. I admire that. Eight children depending on their dirt-poor parents (Dad being the alcoholic) and Mom being the proud yet singlehandedly glue holding them together.She was doing the best she could with the cards life had delt her. I have much admiration for that!
This is another Keeper for my bookshelf to be read again and again. If you want to read the truth, read this.
This is another Keeper for my bookshelf to be read again and again. If you want to read the truth, read this.
August 8, 2012
A couple of spoilers coming. This is a really awesome book. the author was one of 7 children in a very dysfunctional family. The abusive, violent alcoholic father was allowed to abuse the children by their mother, who belatedly rebelled when he started fooling around with another woman. Barbara experienced things that would fell a lesser person, and kept fighting, managing to get herself a degree from Drake University which frankly seemed an impossible dream thru much of the book. I really liked this book, many funny parts: the 7 kids were very resourceful in finding trouble. The human spirit is very resourceful.
January 24, 2013
This is not a typical autobiography but rather the telling of things that the author and her brothers and sisters experienced growing up. I would have enjoyed it better had the stories been written in a sequential order but they were not. Still, it was an interesting book and quite a testimony to the strength of the human spirit as well as the desire to love our parents no matter what. The living conditions and poverty that an alcoholic father and codependent mother lived with and thrust upon their children was mind boggling. All and all it was a very interesting read and I loved the ending.
March 20, 2013
This memoir reminded me a lot of The Glass Castle. Barbara was born into a family of an alcoholic and abusive father, stoic and poetic mother, and lots of kids. They were impoverished in the South, and Barbara lived with a face that she likened to a mummy - twisted with malnutrition and tooth decay. It amazes me that any of them survived, but survived they did, and luckily, Barbara knows how to tell a story! Our book club enjoyed talking with amazement and sometimes horror about what this family lived through.
January 1, 2009
What constitutes "family" comes in all shapes & sizes - and I always enjoy the opportunity, through someone's memoirs, to be a "fly on the wall." This singular life, unlike mine & revealing in its fierce honesty, held my interest from beginning to end. The author, a survivor, takes the pain of her life and gives it words, thus giving us a gift. Knowing she is alive today & no doubt still holding much pain, I wish her well.
July 8, 2009
This book made me want to run to my parents and thank them for being responsible, caring, educated people who placed my well-being above their own.
It is a difficult book to relate to if one had a fairly idyllic childhood; but the humor interspersed with the tragedy keeps the book from becoming too heavy with despair and anger.
The author has an amazing talent for capturing moments in time and sharing them with wit, grit, and pathos to her audience.
It is a difficult book to relate to if one had a fairly idyllic childhood; but the humor interspersed with the tragedy keeps the book from becoming too heavy with despair and anger.
The author has an amazing talent for capturing moments in time and sharing them with wit, grit, and pathos to her audience.
June 10, 2014
I absolutely love this title and couldn't wait to crack open this book. However, I ultimately was left disappointed. Yes, it deals with a poor upbringing in Alabama, abuse, addiction, alcoholism, all of the necessary components to a memoir (it seems). However, Moss doesn't seem to mix together the components into a cohesive whole, and I was left with a rather distinct impression of nothing. I remember very little about this book.
November 6, 2012
I enjoyed this novel so much that I read it twice. Ms. Moss writes from the heart, and does not mince words when it comes to her backgroud of family dysfunction. So many times I felt her pain, and had to stop, thinking of how blessed I am, growing up in my family.
I have also read Ms. Mosses other books as well. Great read!
I have also read Ms. Mosses other books as well. Great read!
January 18, 2015
I read this for bookclub. I don't like memoirs, and this book didn't change my mind. Although well written, I found this book a very frustrating read. Barbara and her many siblings come of age in the sixties with a drunk abusive father and a mother, who seemed unable to protect her children or to leave her abusive husband.
May 4, 2008
This book is recommended for anyone who likes an incredibly well written book about another starving family in the South where the men drink and the women suffer and get pregnant. Its just not my favorite type of memoir.
January 11, 2009
I read this and loved it. As sad as it was you could really place yourself in some of those situations. I posted it to give away and then found a hardcover copy at a book sale and it is now on my keeper shelf. Awsome read.
April 22, 2015
Heartrending without being sentimental or whiny, this memoir makes the reader feel the humiliation, frustration, despair, and anger that attend a childhood of abuse, alcoholism, neglect, and poverty.
February 24, 2010
Reading this book made me extra thankful for my wonderful parents and all they provided to me and my brothers.
December 14, 2024
4.5 stars rounded down
July 5, 2015
A beautifully told story of difficulty and triumph. I took me months to read - for personal reasons - but it was well worth it. What an amazing woman.
August 26, 2017
I loved and hated this book. I loved the writing and the story! But the story is sad and could potentially trigger anyone who has lived in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home.
Overall, I recommend this book. It's an interesting picture into the life of an alcoholic family.
In the story, Barbara's alcoholic father didn't work, and he put himself first before his family. There was often no food in the house, he never kept his promises and the home was filled with emotional and physical abuse. Because of his behavior, the kids were adrenaline junkies. They were used to crises and sometimes created dangerous situations for each other. The family also kept secrets from each other. That's classic behavior in a family affected by alcoholism.
Barbara's mother enabled the behavior. Before marriage, she was in the Marines and sang. But she was primarily absent from Barbara's life because of her devotion to her husband and because she had to protect her oldest daughter Alice from him. She was like a puppet attached to him on a string, jumping every time he asked. Barbara described her behavior as smoothing everything over like icing on a cake.
Mom finally decided to leave her husband when he cheated on her. However, the kids were grown. Barbara wondered why she waited so long and how she didn't feel so strongly against him when he was abusing them. She felt intense anger toward her mom but did teach her mom to drive and gain her independence.
Overall, I recommend this book. It's an interesting picture into the life of an alcoholic family.
In the story, Barbara's alcoholic father didn't work, and he put himself first before his family. There was often no food in the house, he never kept his promises and the home was filled with emotional and physical abuse. Because of his behavior, the kids were adrenaline junkies. They were used to crises and sometimes created dangerous situations for each other. The family also kept secrets from each other. That's classic behavior in a family affected by alcoholism.
Barbara's mother enabled the behavior. Before marriage, she was in the Marines and sang. But she was primarily absent from Barbara's life because of her devotion to her husband and because she had to protect her oldest daughter Alice from him. She was like a puppet attached to him on a string, jumping every time he asked. Barbara described her behavior as smoothing everything over like icing on a cake.
Mom finally decided to leave her husband when he cheated on her. However, the kids were grown. Barbara wondered why she waited so long and how she didn't feel so strongly against him when he was abusing them. She felt intense anger toward her mom but did teach her mom to drive and gain her independence.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 28, 2020
Change Me Into Zeus's Daughter is a heartbreaking memoir about poverty, self-deprecation, and the indescribable pain of both loving and resenting your parents. While it is impossible to truly compare memoirs and personal experiences, I felt as though this book presented similar heartbreaking accounts as The Glass Castle.
Barbara Robinette Moss's recount of her life growing up in incredible poverty was shocking. I found myself incredibly engaged as she grappled with the pain her alcoholic father brought upon her and her siblings, her underlying anger towards her mother, and her ever-present desire to become somebody different - particularly within her physical image.
As an individual who has lived a fairly comfortable life, it is surreal to remember just how cruel the world can be. Change Me Into Zeus's Daughter reminds readers to make the best of the family they have and push through any hardship with extreme tenacity.
I chose to give Change Me Into Zeus's Daughter 4.5 stars. While the story was incredible, the storyline did have a tendency to jump around timelines a bit sporadically, which occasionally made it difficult to develop and stick to an emotion. However, aside from this minute detail, I found this memoir to be an extremely memorable and rewarding read.
Barbara Robinette Moss's recount of her life growing up in incredible poverty was shocking. I found myself incredibly engaged as she grappled with the pain her alcoholic father brought upon her and her siblings, her underlying anger towards her mother, and her ever-present desire to become somebody different - particularly within her physical image.
As an individual who has lived a fairly comfortable life, it is surreal to remember just how cruel the world can be. Change Me Into Zeus's Daughter reminds readers to make the best of the family they have and push through any hardship with extreme tenacity.
I chose to give Change Me Into Zeus's Daughter 4.5 stars. While the story was incredible, the storyline did have a tendency to jump around timelines a bit sporadically, which occasionally made it difficult to develop and stick to an emotion. However, aside from this minute detail, I found this memoir to be an extremely memorable and rewarding read.
July 24, 2017
Raising children is challenging. In an abusive and alcoholic family the challenge sometimes turns to survival. This book made me reflect on my own childhood and some of the kids I knew growing up. I feel very fortunate to have not grown up in circumstances like Those Barbara survived. This book I'd make me wonder what some of the kids I knew and their childhood struggles. Many of the kids in my grade school classes received either free lunches or ones at a reduced price. What kind of situations did they survive?
What struck me the hardest in this story was the families reluctance to seek help and utilize the programs available to them like food stamps, assistance from a church etc. Each story had a scar behind it and Barbara is brave to tell them.
What struck me the hardest in this story was the families reluctance to seek help and utilize the programs available to them like food stamps, assistance from a church etc. Each story had a scar behind it and Barbara is brave to tell them.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 234 reviews