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Etched on Me
Girl, Interrupted meets Best Kept Secret in this riveting, redemptive coming-of-age story about a young woman who overcomes a troubled adolescence, only to lose custody of her daughter when her mental health history is used against her.
On the surface, sixteen-year-old Lesley Holloway is just another bright new student at Hawthorn Hill, a posh all-girls’ prep school north of London. Little do her classmates know that she recently ran away from home, where her father had spent years sexually abusing her. Nor does anyone know that she’s secretly cutting herself as a coping mechanism...until the day she goes too far and ends up in the hospital.
Lesley spends the next two years in and out of psychiatric facilities, where she overcomes her traumatic memories and finds the support of a surrogate family. Eventually completing university and earning her degree, she is a social services success story—until she becomes unexpectedly pregnant in her early twenties. Despite the overwhelming odds she has overcome, the same team that saved her as an adolescent will now question whether Lesley is fit to be a mother. And so she embarks upon her biggest battle the fight for her unborn daughter.
On the surface, sixteen-year-old Lesley Holloway is just another bright new student at Hawthorn Hill, a posh all-girls’ prep school north of London. Little do her classmates know that she recently ran away from home, where her father had spent years sexually abusing her. Nor does anyone know that she’s secretly cutting herself as a coping mechanism...until the day she goes too far and ends up in the hospital.
Lesley spends the next two years in and out of psychiatric facilities, where she overcomes her traumatic memories and finds the support of a surrogate family. Eventually completing university and earning her degree, she is a social services success story—until she becomes unexpectedly pregnant in her early twenties. Despite the overwhelming odds she has overcome, the same team that saved her as an adolescent will now question whether Lesley is fit to be a mother. And so she embarks upon her biggest battle the fight for her unborn daughter.
336 pages, Paperback
First published February 4, 2014
9 people are currently reading
1534 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
February 4, 2014
When I saw Jenn Crowell’s debut novel Etched On Me on Netgalley, I thought it sounded very intriguing – I love the cover, I loved the sound of it, and I was interested to read more about Lesley’s plight. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I dove in head first and I was suckered in immediately. So much so that despite working quite long shifts this week that leave little time for reading, I tried my very hardest to get in an hour or so a day because Lesley became almost like a friend to me and I needed to know that my friend would be alright!
Etched On Me is a stunning novel, and it’s all the better because it deals with mental health – a somewhat taboo subject for most people. Lesley’s life has been quite awful, her dad abuses her in the worst way imaginable so when she spots a number for people who can help, she holds onto that like a lifeline until she can use it. And she escapes. But the scars leave their marks and Lesley begins to self harm. Until one day she self harms too far and ends up in hospital. From there, her life Is a whirl of hospitals and trying to get better, and eventually she does, and she even falls pregnant, much to her delight. But social services aren’t happy and Lesley will have to prove herself once again, to prove she can be a good mother.
I know it’s probably cliche to say but Etched On Me has rather etched itself on me; it’s a very special book, and Lesley will stay with me forever. I don’t know much at all about mental health, but after reading Lesley’s story, I have more of an appreciation for people who suffer from mental health disorders. Lesley’s story made me want to cry, it made me deliriously happy, and I championed Lesley from page one. This is a girl to root for, someone who has changed her life, managed to overcome everything that has plagued her and I felt like whooping for joy when I completed the novel, that’s how euphoric I felt having felt like I’d physically been next to Lesley during her struggles and to see her rise like a Phoenix was a beautiful thing to witness.
What really made Etched On Me, though, were all the people who had Lesley’s back! Gloria, a teacher at Lesley’s school, Francesca, a social services worker, all of Gloria’s family, it was so uplifting to know that these people were there for Lesley through thick and thin and that you don’t always need your biological parents when there are kind strangers who will care for you. Imogen, too, Lesley’s best friend. I loved that they didn’t judge Lesley at all, one bit. Etched On Me is probably one of the most powerful novels I’ve ever read, Jenn Crowell is a fantastic writer, she got into Lesley’s head so well and made me love and root for Lesley just as much as her friends did. It truly blew me away, and I am so glad I read it, it’s one everyone who’s ever been curious about how mental health works should read because Lesley is a powerful narrator, with an amazing voice and an even more amazing story to tell.
Etched On Me is a stunning novel, and it’s all the better because it deals with mental health – a somewhat taboo subject for most people. Lesley’s life has been quite awful, her dad abuses her in the worst way imaginable so when she spots a number for people who can help, she holds onto that like a lifeline until she can use it. And she escapes. But the scars leave their marks and Lesley begins to self harm. Until one day she self harms too far and ends up in hospital. From there, her life Is a whirl of hospitals and trying to get better, and eventually she does, and she even falls pregnant, much to her delight. But social services aren’t happy and Lesley will have to prove herself once again, to prove she can be a good mother.
I know it’s probably cliche to say but Etched On Me has rather etched itself on me; it’s a very special book, and Lesley will stay with me forever. I don’t know much at all about mental health, but after reading Lesley’s story, I have more of an appreciation for people who suffer from mental health disorders. Lesley’s story made me want to cry, it made me deliriously happy, and I championed Lesley from page one. This is a girl to root for, someone who has changed her life, managed to overcome everything that has plagued her and I felt like whooping for joy when I completed the novel, that’s how euphoric I felt having felt like I’d physically been next to Lesley during her struggles and to see her rise like a Phoenix was a beautiful thing to witness.
What really made Etched On Me, though, were all the people who had Lesley’s back! Gloria, a teacher at Lesley’s school, Francesca, a social services worker, all of Gloria’s family, it was so uplifting to know that these people were there for Lesley through thick and thin and that you don’t always need your biological parents when there are kind strangers who will care for you. Imogen, too, Lesley’s best friend. I loved that they didn’t judge Lesley at all, one bit. Etched On Me is probably one of the most powerful novels I’ve ever read, Jenn Crowell is a fantastic writer, she got into Lesley’s head so well and made me love and root for Lesley just as much as her friends did. It truly blew me away, and I am so glad I read it, it’s one everyone who’s ever been curious about how mental health works should read because Lesley is a powerful narrator, with an amazing voice and an even more amazing story to tell.
January 4, 2014
Etched on Me Other reviews at The Book Babe's Reads.
I'll be the first to say that the premise of Etched on Me appealed to me - I love the dark, gritty stories that I read, but this one didn't really work for me. It's not that it wasn't dark or gritty (it was!), the problem was that I couldn't connect with the main character, Lesley. She's a girl with a lot of problems, and although I understand that... I don't think that she was fleshed out enough.
I liked the inside look at mental institutions, and the people that are in them. It was interesting to see the things that they experience, and how Lesley reacted to them. I also liked the mystery of Lesley and her baby - it's said that they ended up on TV, and that there was a big battle between social services and such... but I didn't know why. I liked that these strings were tied up in the end.
I have to say, though... there were some parts throughout this book - well, they made me cringe, and I didn't exactly want to read them. But I did anyway - and I think I came through it with one thought - "I don't think I get this book".
I really don't think that I did. There were so many... plot twists. There was just so much going on, and I couldn't really get into it. My disconnection with Lesley didn't help either, because not only could I not connect with the story, the character just escaped me.
The message of this book is good - it lets people that are in Lesley's situation know that there is hope, and that they will get through it... but that message just isn't for me. All in all, Etched on Me just wasn't my thing, but I'm not going to try and dissuade you from reading it.
I'll be the first to say that the premise of Etched on Me appealed to me - I love the dark, gritty stories that I read, but this one didn't really work for me. It's not that it wasn't dark or gritty (it was!), the problem was that I couldn't connect with the main character, Lesley. She's a girl with a lot of problems, and although I understand that... I don't think that she was fleshed out enough.
I liked the inside look at mental institutions, and the people that are in them. It was interesting to see the things that they experience, and how Lesley reacted to them. I also liked the mystery of Lesley and her baby - it's said that they ended up on TV, and that there was a big battle between social services and such... but I didn't know why. I liked that these strings were tied up in the end.
I have to say, though... there were some parts throughout this book - well, they made me cringe, and I didn't exactly want to read them. But I did anyway - and I think I came through it with one thought - "I don't think I get this book".
I really don't think that I did. There were so many... plot twists. There was just so much going on, and I couldn't really get into it. My disconnection with Lesley didn't help either, because not only could I not connect with the story, the character just escaped me.
The message of this book is good - it lets people that are in Lesley's situation know that there is hope, and that they will get through it... but that message just isn't for me. All in all, Etched on Me just wasn't my thing, but I'm not going to try and dissuade you from reading it.
March 16, 2014
I stayed up late last night because I couldn't put this down. A brave, difficult, compelling, heart-rending novel by an old friend. Jenn Crowell takes an unflinching look at one facet of the British mental health system, and one young woman (fictional, but based on real cases) who survived it. (That's not a spoiler. It's in first person, so narrated as a recollection, which tells you from the beginning that she in some way makes it through.)
July 26, 2016
As seen on my blog:
Hey every book I read from now on! Yeah, you! Do me a favour and sport completely tricky, beautifully elegant front covers, and then shock the HELL out of me once I open you. Okay? Alright good. Now that that's settled, let me to describe to you the wild ride that was Etched on Me . I feel like I should be making a video review for this, there is so much emotion I want to convey, that I feel like the use of writing as a medium just won't cut it this time. Etched on Me was that first SLAP of cold in the face, when you open your door to -35 degree weather (thanks Toronto). I was split open, and completely at the mercy of what this narrative was telling me. I have felt for characters before, and I will again, but right now, it's just me, and the lingering presence of Lesley Holloway.
She's escaped. That's where we find her. On a park bench, contemplating her next move. She's taken the ultimate step. She's freed herself from a HORRENDOUS reality that NO child should ever be subjected to: sexual abuse from a parent. I had to take pause, at the beginning, at the middle, and even at the end of this book to realize the magnitude of the situation. To stop myself from putting the book down due to feelings of nausea, of actual, PHYSICAL distress. The book isn't completely graphic in it's descriptions, but from the little that was described, to the rest left horribly to the imagination, I was RUINED. I sympathized and empathized and cried raw, real tears for Lesley Holloway. For the reality of SO many girls like her around the world. I couldn't stand it, but I also couldn't stop reading. Etched on Me was an extremely powerful book of survival, and as Lesley grew stronger, I grew stronger with her.
Lesley finds a herself immersed in a HERD of support, very early on in the book, so in that sense, I wasn't pushed completely to the edge. The people surrounding her, her new found family, were characters that were easy to fall in love with. Every person that showed a single glance of compassion was impossible to not attach myself to. At maybe another point in my life, I would have complained that Lesley got everything sorted out way too easily to be realistic, but I didn't care now, I wanted the entire WORLD on her side. I grew to appreciate her mother figure, Gloria, with a fierceness that made me, in turn, appreciate Jenn Crowell's FANTASTIC writing ability. She wasn't going to just let readers stand outside the window and look in, NO, we were going to be front row, centre, in the direct line of the blood, and sweat, and SO many tears. Nothing else needed to be happening but the path to recovery that Lesley was on. At times, I found myself wishing she would have a confrontation with her father, a real breakdown with her mother, but in the end, I was glad neither existed.
My only qualm: I'm still finding it hard to come to terms with the (obvious now, because I checked), fact that the legal age in UK for many things is 16. Personally, it was hard to solidify that fact in my head. There are so many reasons why that would be a horrid idea in America/Canada. From my experience, many 16-year-olds are still quite immature, and should not be making life-affirming decisions (I apologize if that offends anyone, but that's my opinion). Now, in that sense, it was hard to picture Lesley and Clare as being that young. For many of their intimate scenes, it was written in a way that had me placing them in MUCH older bracket: 21-30. It just wasn't realistic for me.
Etched on Me is not a book for the faint of heart, nor a reader that's looking for something to glaze through. I am still an entire heap of emotion, my heart still breaking and melding, and when it all stops, this book with still be ingrained in my being for a long, long time to come.
Recommended for Fans of: Adult Fiction, Contemporary, mental illness in fiction, highly controversial issues, Sharp Objects by Gillian Flyyn, Web of Angels by Lillian Nattel, Love Water Memory by Jennie Shortridge, We Are Water by Wally Lamb, Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald.
Hey every book I read from now on! Yeah, you! Do me a favour and sport completely tricky, beautifully elegant front covers, and then shock the HELL out of me once I open you. Okay? Alright good. Now that that's settled, let me to describe to you the wild ride that was Etched on Me . I feel like I should be making a video review for this, there is so much emotion I want to convey, that I feel like the use of writing as a medium just won't cut it this time. Etched on Me was that first SLAP of cold in the face, when you open your door to -35 degree weather (thanks Toronto). I was split open, and completely at the mercy of what this narrative was telling me. I have felt for characters before, and I will again, but right now, it's just me, and the lingering presence of Lesley Holloway.
She's escaped. That's where we find her. On a park bench, contemplating her next move. She's taken the ultimate step. She's freed herself from a HORRENDOUS reality that NO child should ever be subjected to: sexual abuse from a parent. I had to take pause, at the beginning, at the middle, and even at the end of this book to realize the magnitude of the situation. To stop myself from putting the book down due to feelings of nausea, of actual, PHYSICAL distress. The book isn't completely graphic in it's descriptions, but from the little that was described, to the rest left horribly to the imagination, I was RUINED. I sympathized and empathized and cried raw, real tears for Lesley Holloway. For the reality of SO many girls like her around the world. I couldn't stand it, but I also couldn't stop reading. Etched on Me was an extremely powerful book of survival, and as Lesley grew stronger, I grew stronger with her.
Lesley finds a herself immersed in a HERD of support, very early on in the book, so in that sense, I wasn't pushed completely to the edge. The people surrounding her, her new found family, were characters that were easy to fall in love with. Every person that showed a single glance of compassion was impossible to not attach myself to. At maybe another point in my life, I would have complained that Lesley got everything sorted out way too easily to be realistic, but I didn't care now, I wanted the entire WORLD on her side. I grew to appreciate her mother figure, Gloria, with a fierceness that made me, in turn, appreciate Jenn Crowell's FANTASTIC writing ability. She wasn't going to just let readers stand outside the window and look in, NO, we were going to be front row, centre, in the direct line of the blood, and sweat, and SO many tears. Nothing else needed to be happening but the path to recovery that Lesley was on. At times, I found myself wishing she would have a confrontation with her father, a real breakdown with her mother, but in the end, I was glad neither existed.
My only qualm: I'm still finding it hard to come to terms with the (obvious now, because I checked), fact that the legal age in UK for many things is 16. Personally, it was hard to solidify that fact in my head. There are so many reasons why that would be a horrid idea in America/Canada. From my experience, many 16-year-olds are still quite immature, and should not be making life-affirming decisions (I apologize if that offends anyone, but that's my opinion). Now, in that sense, it was hard to picture Lesley and Clare as being that young. For many of their intimate scenes, it was written in a way that had me placing them in MUCH older bracket: 21-30. It just wasn't realistic for me.
Etched on Me is not a book for the faint of heart, nor a reader that's looking for something to glaze through. I am still an entire heap of emotion, my heart still breaking and melding, and when it all stops, this book with still be ingrained in my being for a long, long time to come.
Recommended for Fans of: Adult Fiction, Contemporary, mental illness in fiction, highly controversial issues, Sharp Objects by Gillian Flyyn, Web of Angels by Lillian Nattel, Love Water Memory by Jennie Shortridge, We Are Water by Wally Lamb, Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald.
February 4, 2014
Books don't need to be topical or timely to be worth reading, but Etched on Me does benefit from the recent open letter from Dylan Farrow about her own experience with childhood sexual abuse. I applaud any survivor who is able to speak out - I hope she continues to find peace and healing along the way. Etched on Me is timely because it deals frankly and honestly with the long-term consequences of abuse - depression, self-destructive behaviors ranging from cutting to drug addiction to anything else you can imagine, PTSD, and on and on. Trauma can kill, it definitely maims, and the journey and work it takes to deal with its aftermath is long and hard and never-ending and so very worth it.
Etched on Me tells the story of Lesley, a wonderfully realized character who has the courage to leave her home and her abuser, to ask for and receive help, and to begin her own journey to a life independent of the forces that brought her to the asking. In Lesley, Ms. Crowell has created a character who matters, who is real and not beatified, who makes huge mistakes and learns from them, who most of all refuses to sit down and accept a life that is less than it could be. At every turn she proves herself willing to do the work, willing to take the big risks, willing to try to find a life that is happy - as readers we are privileged to journey along with Lesley - she is a character to root for even in her most ambivalent moments. A strong helping of information about the elegance and effectiveness of dialectical behavioral therapeutic techniques and their emphasis on mindfulness and Radical Acceptance (a book worth reading if you're curious about what that might mean) rounds out a story I was glad to read even as it infuriated and challenged me.
We fail ourselves and each other in so many different ways, but books like Etched on Me remind the reader that there is hope and maybe most importantly that we are all people with flaws and agendas and dreams trying to do the best we can (or not). I wouldn't call Etched on Me a feel-good book, but it's a really good one and Lesley has a voice worth hearing. Read this book.
Etched on Me tells the story of Lesley, a wonderfully realized character who has the courage to leave her home and her abuser, to ask for and receive help, and to begin her own journey to a life independent of the forces that brought her to the asking. In Lesley, Ms. Crowell has created a character who matters, who is real and not beatified, who makes huge mistakes and learns from them, who most of all refuses to sit down and accept a life that is less than it could be. At every turn she proves herself willing to do the work, willing to take the big risks, willing to try to find a life that is happy - as readers we are privileged to journey along with Lesley - she is a character to root for even in her most ambivalent moments. A strong helping of information about the elegance and effectiveness of dialectical behavioral therapeutic techniques and their emphasis on mindfulness and Radical Acceptance (a book worth reading if you're curious about what that might mean) rounds out a story I was glad to read even as it infuriated and challenged me.
We fail ourselves and each other in so many different ways, but books like Etched on Me remind the reader that there is hope and maybe most importantly that we are all people with flaws and agendas and dreams trying to do the best we can (or not). I wouldn't call Etched on Me a feel-good book, but it's a really good one and Lesley has a voice worth hearing. Read this book.
February 4, 2014
I'll come right out and say it. This isn't a fun book. It is one of those works that will put the reader through the emotional ringer.
And that is what makes it so good.
Lesley is one of those characters who just sticks with you. She has the sort of inner strength that I wish we all had--she is dealing with some really, really tragic circumstances and somehow, some way, she pulls through. And it is a struggle, there is no doubt about that.
I don't know that much about mental illness, so I have no way of knowing if what Crowell describes in this book is accurate. However, it certainly seems accurate to me. The pain that Lesley experiences is palpable to the reader, even to those who have little experience with anyone who self-harms.
The treatment that Lesley receives regarding the custody of her child seems almost barbaric to me. I doubt this would happen in the United States (not because child welfare is so much better in the US, but rather because it is lacking), but I could believe that it would happen in the United Kingdom. In fact, I found it interesting how involved the child welfare system was in a more socialized medical system. While I don't agree with decisions that were made there, I was impressed that there was a system in place for children before a problem developed.
Along the same lines, I was impressed at how "British" this book sounded. The dialogue was spot on and I never once questioned the authenticity, even though the author is American and lives right here in Portland, Oregon! I think that alone is quite a skill.
I will admit that this is not a book that I would recommend to just anyone. There are some very heavy subjects and I know that it is not everyone's cup of tea. However, for anyone with an open mind and willing to take it on, this is an excellent book!
I received an electronic copy of this book to read and review. I received no other compensation for this post.>
And that is what makes it so good.
Lesley is one of those characters who just sticks with you. She has the sort of inner strength that I wish we all had--she is dealing with some really, really tragic circumstances and somehow, some way, she pulls through. And it is a struggle, there is no doubt about that.
I don't know that much about mental illness, so I have no way of knowing if what Crowell describes in this book is accurate. However, it certainly seems accurate to me. The pain that Lesley experiences is palpable to the reader, even to those who have little experience with anyone who self-harms.
The treatment that Lesley receives regarding the custody of her child seems almost barbaric to me. I doubt this would happen in the United States (not because child welfare is so much better in the US, but rather because it is lacking), but I could believe that it would happen in the United Kingdom. In fact, I found it interesting how involved the child welfare system was in a more socialized medical system. While I don't agree with decisions that were made there, I was impressed that there was a system in place for children before a problem developed.
Along the same lines, I was impressed at how "British" this book sounded. The dialogue was spot on and I never once questioned the authenticity, even though the author is American and lives right here in Portland, Oregon! I think that alone is quite a skill.
I will admit that this is not a book that I would recommend to just anyone. There are some very heavy subjects and I know that it is not everyone's cup of tea. However, for anyone with an open mind and willing to take it on, this is an excellent book!
I received an electronic copy of this book to read and review. I received no other compensation for this post.>
February 10, 2014
Etched on Me is one young woman's journey from victim to survivor. Lesley Holloway was dealt a crap hand at life, her father repeatedly abused her while her mother knowingly turned a blind eye. When she finds the number for Children's Services she knows she can make her escape. Once she is able to leave, she had hoped her life would change for the better. Sadly, it doesn't. Her father was convicted and sentenced to prison, her mother wants nothing to do with her, and she's living on her own in a local hostel while commuting to a prestigious girl's school where she's on scholarship.
During all of this, she begins to self-harm. One time at school she goes too far and nearly kills herself. This has sent in motion a harrowing two-year journey of hospital in-stay to help her get to the point where she can accept what's happened to her, and maybe be able to move on.
After she graduates college, and years beyond self-harming, she finds out she's pregnant. Excited because it's something she never knew she wanted, Lesley goes to a midwife and her life is changed yet again. Social Services wants to take her unborn baby from her for fear of her past.
Etched on Me is no easy read. There are times where I wanted to laugh, cry and just scream. There gets to be a point where you ask yourself, how much can one person endure. I found myself wanting to reach through the pages and just be that next person who was there for Lesley, someone to be apart of her support system.
No topic was really taboo in this book either. It delves heavily into Lesley's abuse, mental stability and suicide attempts. If you do decide this is a book for you, make sure you have plenty of tissues. You'll need them.
During all of this, she begins to self-harm. One time at school she goes too far and nearly kills herself. This has sent in motion a harrowing two-year journey of hospital in-stay to help her get to the point where she can accept what's happened to her, and maybe be able to move on.
After she graduates college, and years beyond self-harming, she finds out she's pregnant. Excited because it's something she never knew she wanted, Lesley goes to a midwife and her life is changed yet again. Social Services wants to take her unborn baby from her for fear of her past.
Etched on Me is no easy read. There are times where I wanted to laugh, cry and just scream. There gets to be a point where you ask yourself, how much can one person endure. I found myself wanting to reach through the pages and just be that next person who was there for Lesley, someone to be apart of her support system.
No topic was really taboo in this book either. It delves heavily into Lesley's abuse, mental stability and suicide attempts. If you do decide this is a book for you, make sure you have plenty of tissues. You'll need them.
October 9, 2013
There is nothing missing in Crowell's writing,she brings to life every character and situation in a style easy to read and believable. Leslie Holloway is someone that you care about from the very start of this novel. Crowell takes you into the life of a London teen-aged girl struggling to survive life in support facilities. A talented author.
January 15, 2014
Beautifully written. Reading Etched On Me has had me going through a journey...a goddamn roller coaster of emotions. The story hit home, awakening memories I had thought forgotten. I loved the way the author wrote each word with emotion.
I recommend this book, this piece of art, to all of you curious readers.
I recommend this book, this piece of art, to all of you curious readers.
October 15, 2013
It is so easy to see both sides of this story. A mother's rights over a baby's safety. Great read. Just enough medical to keep it interesting. So real life when the mental health issues are in the news so much. Set in London, it could be anywhere.
March 4, 2014
One of the most intense stories I've ever read. Will certainly keep you up reading long past bedtime. Five stars isn't nearly enough.
April 15, 2014
Fantastic book. Les is such a relatable character and I was very compelled by her story. At every point in her journey I was cheering her on and crying for her suffering.
June 15, 2017
Review originally published on my blog, Musings of a Bookish Kitty: http://www.literaryfeline.com/2017/06...
Etched On Me by Jenn Crowell
Washington Square Press, 2014
Fiction; 336 pgs
At sixteen, Lesley Holloway is trying to fit in and make good grades like any other girl at Hawthorn Hill, an all-girl prep school in London. She hadn't been sure she would be able to attend after making the decision to runaway from an abusive home and seek help from the local child welfare agency. Feeling alone and abandoned by a mother that should have protected her, Lesley is surviving as best she can. In an effort to cope, she turns to cutting, a form of self-harm, that soon becomes an obsession. One day at school, she goes too far and it lands her in the hospital. From then on, Lesley is in and out of hospitals, trying to heal from past psychological wounds as well as the physical ones. It is not an easy road for her, but she proves to be quite resilient.
The novel opens with Lesley in the hospital giving birth to her own child. She had made it to the university as a stellar student, and after a one night stand became pregnant. Despite all the strides she has made to get herself together, her past comes back to haunt her. Suddenly her ability to parent is called into question. Talk about gut-wrenching.
Lesley is an amazingly strong young woman. finding the courage to runaway from home and get help. She is an example that someone in the worst of circumstances can make it out on top with perseverance and the will.
Lesley is very lucky to have a good support system to help her through even the worst of times. Her social worker and a high school teacher would do anything for Lesley. They see what a courageous and strong young woman she is. They know what she is capable of if she sets her mind to it. They never give up on her and continue advocating for her, even when Lesley considers giving up on herself. I wish every child or youth in Lesley's situation were so lucky. Many do not have that support or do not know where to look to get help. Or perhaps they are too afraid. Some do not think they are worth it.
Cutting has become more widespread in recent years, unfortunately and occurs for many reasons. It is a behavior that is often misunderstood and is hard to stop. It is a coping mechanism, however harmful it may be. I liked the way the author addressed cutting in the novel. She handles the subject matter in a very sensitive manner, but also in a very real and raw way.
It was interesting to see the differences in how the child welfare system works in England as compared to the United States. Of course, there are so many variations even here in the U.S. that it is can even be different from one county to another in the same state. I also found it interesting to read about the various treatment models Lesley was exposed to throughout her hospitalizations. The treatment and care for mental disorders is ever evolving.
Etched On Me sounds like a terribly depressing novel, and it certainly is a sad one in many respects. Author Jenn Crowell, however, has infused it with hope, and it really is an inspirational novel. I did cry. And one character in particular made me want to throw the book at him (just the thought of him now gets my blood boiling). But by the end I was smiling.
Etched On Me by Jenn Crowell
Washington Square Press, 2014
Fiction; 336 pgs
At sixteen, Lesley Holloway is trying to fit in and make good grades like any other girl at Hawthorn Hill, an all-girl prep school in London. She hadn't been sure she would be able to attend after making the decision to runaway from an abusive home and seek help from the local child welfare agency. Feeling alone and abandoned by a mother that should have protected her, Lesley is surviving as best she can. In an effort to cope, she turns to cutting, a form of self-harm, that soon becomes an obsession. One day at school, she goes too far and it lands her in the hospital. From then on, Lesley is in and out of hospitals, trying to heal from past psychological wounds as well as the physical ones. It is not an easy road for her, but she proves to be quite resilient.
The novel opens with Lesley in the hospital giving birth to her own child. She had made it to the university as a stellar student, and after a one night stand became pregnant. Despite all the strides she has made to get herself together, her past comes back to haunt her. Suddenly her ability to parent is called into question. Talk about gut-wrenching.
Lesley is an amazingly strong young woman. finding the courage to runaway from home and get help. She is an example that someone in the worst of circumstances can make it out on top with perseverance and the will.
Lesley is very lucky to have a good support system to help her through even the worst of times. Her social worker and a high school teacher would do anything for Lesley. They see what a courageous and strong young woman she is. They know what she is capable of if she sets her mind to it. They never give up on her and continue advocating for her, even when Lesley considers giving up on herself. I wish every child or youth in Lesley's situation were so lucky. Many do not have that support or do not know where to look to get help. Or perhaps they are too afraid. Some do not think they are worth it.
Cutting has become more widespread in recent years, unfortunately and occurs for many reasons. It is a behavior that is often misunderstood and is hard to stop. It is a coping mechanism, however harmful it may be. I liked the way the author addressed cutting in the novel. She handles the subject matter in a very sensitive manner, but also in a very real and raw way.
It was interesting to see the differences in how the child welfare system works in England as compared to the United States. Of course, there are so many variations even here in the U.S. that it is can even be different from one county to another in the same state. I also found it interesting to read about the various treatment models Lesley was exposed to throughout her hospitalizations. The treatment and care for mental disorders is ever evolving.
Etched On Me sounds like a terribly depressing novel, and it certainly is a sad one in many respects. Author Jenn Crowell, however, has infused it with hope, and it really is an inspirational novel. I did cry. And one character in particular made me want to throw the book at him (just the thought of him now gets my blood boiling). But by the end I was smiling.
June 7, 2017
Lesley Holloway is sixteen years old and a student at Hawthorne Hall, a prestigious London prep school. She doesn’t fit in, not entirely, but the Hall is a promise of a new life, a home away from the home where her father sexually abuses her and her mother is either ignorant to or just ignoring it. Lesley is also a cutter, which seems a fine way of coping until the day it goes too far and she ends up first in the emergency room and then in and out of psychiatric institutions. Just when it seems she’s getting her life in order, another tragedy occurs, one that will define her life forever.
Let’s get the obvious out of the way first. This novel is dark, grueling, and sometimes downright painful to get through, especially for anyone who has a history of mental health issues and hospitalizations. Hell, I only went through it once and not nearly for the same reasons Lesley found herself on the inside, and even I found a few things hitting dangerously close to home. This could easily be a triggering book, in many ways, so consider that caveat before opening the cover.
If you do decide to plunge ahead, though, what you will find is a rich and ultimately uplifting story about how the worst of struggles can create the best of people, the best of friends, and the best of family. Crowell doesn’t flinch from the heartbreak and the trauma, inside and outside, but she also isn’t afraid to tell the kinds of truth that force Lesley to keep going, keep fighting, and, some days, just keep breathing—that last bit can be the most impossible, sometimes, and those passages are often the hardest to read. Struggle through. It’s worth it.
The secondary characters are also some of the best, from the other girls in the hospitals (including the girl who becomes Lesley’s first real love) to the social workers who actually give a damn to Francesca, a teacher from Hawthorne Hall who was the first to try to get Lesley the real help she needed and whose family eventually comes to teach Lesley what it means when people not just care about you, but are willing to go to the wall and knock the damn thing down if you need them. Even if that means knocking your head against it to do it. That’s what a real family does. Real love knows when to coddle and when to clobber, and Crowell does a marvelous job making that clear.
Let’s get the obvious out of the way first. This novel is dark, grueling, and sometimes downright painful to get through, especially for anyone who has a history of mental health issues and hospitalizations. Hell, I only went through it once and not nearly for the same reasons Lesley found herself on the inside, and even I found a few things hitting dangerously close to home. This could easily be a triggering book, in many ways, so consider that caveat before opening the cover.
If you do decide to plunge ahead, though, what you will find is a rich and ultimately uplifting story about how the worst of struggles can create the best of people, the best of friends, and the best of family. Crowell doesn’t flinch from the heartbreak and the trauma, inside and outside, but she also isn’t afraid to tell the kinds of truth that force Lesley to keep going, keep fighting, and, some days, just keep breathing—that last bit can be the most impossible, sometimes, and those passages are often the hardest to read. Struggle through. It’s worth it.
The secondary characters are also some of the best, from the other girls in the hospitals (including the girl who becomes Lesley’s first real love) to the social workers who actually give a damn to Francesca, a teacher from Hawthorne Hall who was the first to try to get Lesley the real help she needed and whose family eventually comes to teach Lesley what it means when people not just care about you, but are willing to go to the wall and knock the damn thing down if you need them. Even if that means knocking your head against it to do it. That’s what a real family does. Real love knows when to coddle and when to clobber, and Crowell does a marvelous job making that clear.
September 17, 2025
What I liked about this book was seeing the lives of Gloria and Jascha from "Necessary Madness" and "The Space Between," now married 5 years since the last book. Unfortunately, the focus of this book is the unlikable Lesley Holloway, a teenager who was sexually-abused by her father and became a self-harmer. Lesley is down-right nasty to some of those trying to help her, and her recovery seems a bit too unbelievable. As a healthcare professional, I was appalled at how the ER doctor was portrayed, saying rude and unkind things to Lesley. I can't believe any professional would speak to a vulnerable teen like that. Lesley's experience with dissociation is vivid and painful, and Dr. P, Gloria, and Francesca are her saviors. OK book, but not nearly as good as "Necessary Madness," which Crowell wrote as a teenager.
March 29, 2023
A raw, beautifully-written, un-put-downable story about a girl (Lesley) who grows up with a sexually abusive father, develops borderline personality disorder as a result, and triumphs ultimately over her self-harming compulsions (both mentally and physically). The author so expertly inserts the reader into the mind of a mentally-ill person that it’s very easy to find sympathy for (and empathize with) Lesley. To make the story even more realistic (which I appreciate), it’s evident that Lesley will struggle the rest of her life, but she was at least given the tools to stay afloat. Edgy and heartwarming, sweet and sour, this was a great story. Five stars.
November 14, 2018
Saffron Bookclub 2018
June 26, 2021
Made me cry, so good
August 5, 2023
Hit too close and tbh this WAS triggering and at times, ridiculously funny too. Love this so so much.
February 7, 2014
'Etched on Me' is a gritty and raw look at the obstacles and internal struggles that people with mental illness must deal with throughout their lives. It tells the story of Lesley Holloway - a teenage girl who finally finds the courage to flee her abusive home, which begins a series of mental illness issues, psychiatric facilities, and finally the fight for her child. Lesley is a very realistic main character for the novel. She's tough, witty, strong, smart, and determined. She also has some real problems - overcoming incest and abuse, mental illness problems, and taking charge of her own life when people want to rip it away from her. The book follows Lesley over the years - chronicling her ups and downs, triumphs and failures, and her struggle for control over her own life. She's a wonderfully written main character who is obviously flawed, but still manages to get the reader on her side cheering her on throughout the book.
I knew before reading this novel that it was loosely based on some of the author's personal experiences with mental illness, and I have to give her serious props for writing about these topics in such a raw and realistic fashion. Not many people have the courage to speak out about mental illness in everyday life - let alone write a novel about it. I've reviewed books before that deal with mental illness and I'm always an advocate for them. I believe that mental illness is still a taboo topic in our society and is filled with stigma. Anyone who stands up and speaks out about it is brave - especially those who have a large impact on people, such as writers like Jenn. I myself suffer from mental illness, including depression and self-harm issues, so reading Lesley's story was very hard for me, as well as really rewarding in the end. The author doesn't sugar coat anything in the book - it's all right out there in the open for all to see. There were parts of the book that were painful for me to read and my heart broke for Lesley, but her stubborn nature and determination were an inspiration.
The story was very well written with exceptional attention to detail along with heartwrenching situations and realistic characters. I was immediately drawn into the book and felt as if I was right alongside Lesley the entire time. The pace was just right - not too fast to blow over the hard stuff, but not too slow that it wallowed either. It definitely deals with difficult topics such as abuse, incest, self harm, and mental illness, but it also shows that one must fight for what they believe in and never give up, no matter the odds against you. Some readers will find the topics in the novel disturbing and possibly too difficult to read about, but those who give it a shot will be rewarded with a profound story of one woman's journey through mental illness. I agree with the statement in the press release that said, "ETCHED ON ME is an ultimately life-affirming story that will deepen readers’ understanding and compassion, and perhaps make them reevaluate preconceptions they might have about women who suffer from mental illness and mothers who, for whatever reason, must fight for custody of their children." Mental illness is a serious topic in our society that often gets shoved under the rug and this novel brings it into the spotlight for everyone to see - in all it's ugly, gritty, and heartbreaking reality. Highly recommended for people who enjoy contemporary fiction and those who are looking for an inspiring story with impeccable writing.
Disclosure: I received a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
I knew before reading this novel that it was loosely based on some of the author's personal experiences with mental illness, and I have to give her serious props for writing about these topics in such a raw and realistic fashion. Not many people have the courage to speak out about mental illness in everyday life - let alone write a novel about it. I've reviewed books before that deal with mental illness and I'm always an advocate for them. I believe that mental illness is still a taboo topic in our society and is filled with stigma. Anyone who stands up and speaks out about it is brave - especially those who have a large impact on people, such as writers like Jenn. I myself suffer from mental illness, including depression and self-harm issues, so reading Lesley's story was very hard for me, as well as really rewarding in the end. The author doesn't sugar coat anything in the book - it's all right out there in the open for all to see. There were parts of the book that were painful for me to read and my heart broke for Lesley, but her stubborn nature and determination were an inspiration.
The story was very well written with exceptional attention to detail along with heartwrenching situations and realistic characters. I was immediately drawn into the book and felt as if I was right alongside Lesley the entire time. The pace was just right - not too fast to blow over the hard stuff, but not too slow that it wallowed either. It definitely deals with difficult topics such as abuse, incest, self harm, and mental illness, but it also shows that one must fight for what they believe in and never give up, no matter the odds against you. Some readers will find the topics in the novel disturbing and possibly too difficult to read about, but those who give it a shot will be rewarded with a profound story of one woman's journey through mental illness. I agree with the statement in the press release that said, "ETCHED ON ME is an ultimately life-affirming story that will deepen readers’ understanding and compassion, and perhaps make them reevaluate preconceptions they might have about women who suffer from mental illness and mothers who, for whatever reason, must fight for custody of their children." Mental illness is a serious topic in our society that often gets shoved under the rug and this novel brings it into the spotlight for everyone to see - in all it's ugly, gritty, and heartbreaking reality. Highly recommended for people who enjoy contemporary fiction and those who are looking for an inspiring story with impeccable writing.
Disclosure: I received a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
March 11, 2014
I'm trying to form the right words to describe this book. Etched on Me is not an easy read. You can't just sit on a comfy chair and read it with a million other things in your mind. Trust me, the pages won't turn. This book demands your undivided attention. Reading this book is painful. A book which does not shy away from the all too real problems. Etched On Me is about the journey of a young girl, Lesley Holloway. Her life is anything but normal. Being subjected to repeated sexual abuse from a parent to whom a child is most vulnerable is a beyond doubt horrifying. This knocked the wind right out of me. Many a time I had to close the book, take deep breaths and urge myself not to be terrified by the rawness of the book.
Lesley lives with her abusive father and her mother who turns a blind eye to these horrors! With a trembling resolve she decides enough is enough, takes a huge scary step and runs away from her house. To my complete relief, after Lesley escapes from her house she finds herself with a wonderful support group. An empathetic teacher Mrs Kremsky, her case worker Francesca who fights for her case to name a few. The author does not present Lesley as a perfect girl. To cope with her abuse, she starts self harming which lands her in a rehab center. Here, love blooms for young Lesley in the form of Clare. It's not rose petals from there on just in case you thought, this was the happy ending. The writing, thankfully was not too graphic. The little the author did describe left burning welts in my heart. The writing is very realistic to say the least. It's like the author is shaking you by the shoulders and demanding you to listen.
I loved every bit of Lesley. I wanted to hug her. Everything about her made the book come to life for me. It rarely felt like a story. If the author had portrayed Lesley as a perfect person who jumped right back to normal, the book would sounded pretentious. Instead Lesley makes mistakes. Sometimes she is ungrateful and bitter to the people who are there to support her. Sometimes, she dwells in self pity, aching for her old bedroom and its familiarity.
An unexpected pregnancy takes Lesley by surprise. Now the same people who saved her from her abusive father have become her enemies. What would happen to her unborn daughter and Lesley?
Without giving away any spoilers, I can say that this book is unapologetic, emotional, dark and ends with hope. It will make you cower in fear along with Lesley, it will make you bask in the warmth of Mrs Kremsky's love. It will make you cry with joy. If you like flawed characters who had to go through hell and still rise like a phoenix from its ashes, then this book is for you. Personally I feel every woman should read this book.
- See more at: http://stilsearching.blogspot.com/201...
Lesley lives with her abusive father and her mother who turns a blind eye to these horrors! With a trembling resolve she decides enough is enough, takes a huge scary step and runs away from her house. To my complete relief, after Lesley escapes from her house she finds herself with a wonderful support group. An empathetic teacher Mrs Kremsky, her case worker Francesca who fights for her case to name a few. The author does not present Lesley as a perfect girl. To cope with her abuse, she starts self harming which lands her in a rehab center. Here, love blooms for young Lesley in the form of Clare. It's not rose petals from there on just in case you thought, this was the happy ending. The writing, thankfully was not too graphic. The little the author did describe left burning welts in my heart. The writing is very realistic to say the least. It's like the author is shaking you by the shoulders and demanding you to listen.
I loved every bit of Lesley. I wanted to hug her. Everything about her made the book come to life for me. It rarely felt like a story. If the author had portrayed Lesley as a perfect person who jumped right back to normal, the book would sounded pretentious. Instead Lesley makes mistakes. Sometimes she is ungrateful and bitter to the people who are there to support her. Sometimes, she dwells in self pity, aching for her old bedroom and its familiarity.
An unexpected pregnancy takes Lesley by surprise. Now the same people who saved her from her abusive father have become her enemies. What would happen to her unborn daughter and Lesley?
Without giving away any spoilers, I can say that this book is unapologetic, emotional, dark and ends with hope. It will make you cower in fear along with Lesley, it will make you bask in the warmth of Mrs Kremsky's love. It will make you cry with joy. If you like flawed characters who had to go through hell and still rise like a phoenix from its ashes, then this book is for you. Personally I feel every woman should read this book.
- See more at: http://stilsearching.blogspot.com/201...
May 30, 2014
Can I tell you right now that I couldn't put this book down? I was drawn in immediately to poor Lesley's story of sexual incest abuse. That's what it boils down to and basically how the entire system basically fails her.
Lesley is sexually abused by her father for years and after realizing her mother isn't going to help her, she decides to run away and find help. She finds a sympathetic case worker that gets her set up in a hostel and over time, she begins to cut herself to cope with what her life has turned into. It's one thing to get a person out of that situation, but to provide absolutely no support for the mental anguish she's obviously dealing with, is almost cruel. Then one day she goes too far with the cutting and she ends up in ICU and then through various psychiatric hospitals. Eventually, she is able to overcome her demons and completes her schooling and everyone applauds her on being a survivor, a success story for them all.
Until.
Until one day she finds herself unexpectedly pregnant. And as it states at the very beginning of the book, she wants this baby. She wants this baby so much it's almost an intangible feeling yet it's there and it's like her life line. It's the one thing in life she has to forever cling to. All of the people who regale her as a success story now question her ability to be a good mother and are actively trying to relinquish her rights.
I won't tell you if she is able to keep her child or if her child remains in the care of the surrogate family- it ruins the entire thing. What I will tell you is that this book will horrify you, it will make you want to scream on Lesley's behalf, you equally want to shake her and hug her, and you just want something good to happen to her. Just absolutely anything good because dammit, she deserves it. If being a mother is going to be the light of her life, then why can't she have that? Well, we learn more about her time in psychiatric care and all of the facets of what sexual abuse does to a person so you find yourself rooting for both sides at time.
It's a really amazing book. I can only imagine the conversations book clubs would have about this because this is something that can be a really polarizing topic for people. Even I found myself struggling through parts when I would flip flop my opinions and it's never a cut and dry situation. Talk about blurred lines, really. Not to mention, the writing? Amazing. Jenn Crowell gets you right there and you feel like you are literally watching this play out in front of you versus words on a page.
I absolutely, totally recommend this book. Seriously. Get this on your to-read list, it's pretty gripping.
Lesley is sexually abused by her father for years and after realizing her mother isn't going to help her, she decides to run away and find help. She finds a sympathetic case worker that gets her set up in a hostel and over time, she begins to cut herself to cope with what her life has turned into. It's one thing to get a person out of that situation, but to provide absolutely no support for the mental anguish she's obviously dealing with, is almost cruel. Then one day she goes too far with the cutting and she ends up in ICU and then through various psychiatric hospitals. Eventually, she is able to overcome her demons and completes her schooling and everyone applauds her on being a survivor, a success story for them all.
Until.
Until one day she finds herself unexpectedly pregnant. And as it states at the very beginning of the book, she wants this baby. She wants this baby so much it's almost an intangible feeling yet it's there and it's like her life line. It's the one thing in life she has to forever cling to. All of the people who regale her as a success story now question her ability to be a good mother and are actively trying to relinquish her rights.
I won't tell you if she is able to keep her child or if her child remains in the care of the surrogate family- it ruins the entire thing. What I will tell you is that this book will horrify you, it will make you want to scream on Lesley's behalf, you equally want to shake her and hug her, and you just want something good to happen to her. Just absolutely anything good because dammit, she deserves it. If being a mother is going to be the light of her life, then why can't she have that? Well, we learn more about her time in psychiatric care and all of the facets of what sexual abuse does to a person so you find yourself rooting for both sides at time.
It's a really amazing book. I can only imagine the conversations book clubs would have about this because this is something that can be a really polarizing topic for people. Even I found myself struggling through parts when I would flip flop my opinions and it's never a cut and dry situation. Talk about blurred lines, really. Not to mention, the writing? Amazing. Jenn Crowell gets you right there and you feel like you are literally watching this play out in front of you versus words on a page.
I absolutely, totally recommend this book. Seriously. Get this on your to-read list, it's pretty gripping.
February 13, 2014
Etched on Me deserves a round of applause. Honestly, it does. It deals with situations that most of us shy away from talking about, but it does it in a blindly honest and raw way. Things like childhood sexual abuse, depression, self-destructive behaviors, and just plain loneliness are all touched on. Lesley Holloway's story may be fiction, but the book speaks to those who know these feelings are real. Jenn Crowell shows that traumas like these have both the power to break us down, and to push us into the arms of the people we need to build us back up. It shows the reality of the long, hard climb back into the light.
In terms of the fictional side of it all, Lesley was a brilliantly written character. Sexually abused from a young age, we meet her as she has finally had the courage to escape from her abuser, and find the help she needs. What I loved about Lesley was how realistic her character felt. She isn't perfect. She's petty, jealous, loving, confused, hate-filled, and every other emotion there is out there. I eagerly followed her journey as she fought to make a life she could believe in. I cried with her, laughed with her, and felt all the bumps along the road as if I were her. Jenn Crowell has written one amazing character in Etched on Me.
In fact, that's what I loved about this whole story. The raw, gritty feel that it has to it. Lesley's recovery is brutal. It's filled with people who both lift her up, and dash her back down to the ground. She makes mistakes, stumbles and falls, yet still manages to pick herself back up. Everything about her journey made me feel like I was right there with her. This story shows us how much strength we all possess inside us. It reminds us that hope is out there. That help can be sought if you know where to look. That no one is perfect, but we can damn sure try to be our best selves. That fighting your way out of the darkness isn't easy.
I'm so glad I agreed to read Etched on Me. While I haven't had to deal with anything of this magnitude in my own life, I had no problem feeling everything Lesley felt. I honestly feel that Crowell's book has the power to change lives. To remind those out there who might be silently dealing with abuse, self-harm, or anything of that nature, that there is a voice for us all. Even if it's one told through fiction. Huge applause for this book. Highly recommended.
In terms of the fictional side of it all, Lesley was a brilliantly written character. Sexually abused from a young age, we meet her as she has finally had the courage to escape from her abuser, and find the help she needs. What I loved about Lesley was how realistic her character felt. She isn't perfect. She's petty, jealous, loving, confused, hate-filled, and every other emotion there is out there. I eagerly followed her journey as she fought to make a life she could believe in. I cried with her, laughed with her, and felt all the bumps along the road as if I were her. Jenn Crowell has written one amazing character in Etched on Me.
In fact, that's what I loved about this whole story. The raw, gritty feel that it has to it. Lesley's recovery is brutal. It's filled with people who both lift her up, and dash her back down to the ground. She makes mistakes, stumbles and falls, yet still manages to pick herself back up. Everything about her journey made me feel like I was right there with her. This story shows us how much strength we all possess inside us. It reminds us that hope is out there. That help can be sought if you know where to look. That no one is perfect, but we can damn sure try to be our best selves. That fighting your way out of the darkness isn't easy.
I'm so glad I agreed to read Etched on Me. While I haven't had to deal with anything of this magnitude in my own life, I had no problem feeling everything Lesley felt. I honestly feel that Crowell's book has the power to change lives. To remind those out there who might be silently dealing with abuse, self-harm, or anything of that nature, that there is a voice for us all. Even if it's one told through fiction. Huge applause for this book. Highly recommended.
May 23, 2019
Lesley Holloway is an aspiring, intelligent young woman newly accepted into a prep school. Her classmates don't know that Lesley is being victimized sexual by her father or that she ran away from home. Lesley starts cutting herself and what starts in her young teenage life is a series of medical facilities and a new-found family to support her through the mania. Slowly repairing herself, going to college and getting a degree, Lesley steps in another life changing scenario: finding out that she is going to be a new mother. Now the same people that helped her, want to take away her daughter. Lesley is in for the fight of her life. The fight to prove that she is capable of being a mother and taking care of her daughter.
The events after Lesley admittance seem melodramatic and contrived. I don't pretend to know the London legal system, but a lot of doesn't seem like something that would even be acceptable for an adult; let alone a sixteen-year-old kid. The universe dealt her a bad hand (as if the universe cares about any of us. Reality it doesn't) at every turn. The tone of the book is "Lesley Vs. everyone." A lot of it was Lesley fighting against the love and support, in which she in so many other paragraphs says she so openly needs, but never got. The moments where I saw Lesley stand up where brilliant, but got dashed when she allowed other people to make decisions for her, that she didn't feel comfortable with. The character would be brilliant and blaze. Then meekly get swept along in the tide.
For a woman so smart, she couldn't see basic violations and know that she wasn't being treated fairly. There wasn't any nuance to the alternate characters. They were just framed as horrible monsters, even throwing in a mentally-ill mother to kick the effect into overdrive. Which surprisingly bothered me a lot. Maybe it's the personal experience with Social Workers and having some as friends, but they aren't horrible people. None of the people I know in the system act like that nor would they have treated her so horrible, especially a person with such turnabout success story as the main characters. This could have gone so differently if both sides where displayed evenly. I wouldn't have been bothered by it so much.
The events after Lesley admittance seem melodramatic and contrived. I don't pretend to know the London legal system, but a lot of doesn't seem like something that would even be acceptable for an adult; let alone a sixteen-year-old kid. The universe dealt her a bad hand (as if the universe cares about any of us. Reality it doesn't) at every turn. The tone of the book is "Lesley Vs. everyone." A lot of it was Lesley fighting against the love and support, in which she in so many other paragraphs says she so openly needs, but never got. The moments where I saw Lesley stand up where brilliant, but got dashed when she allowed other people to make decisions for her, that she didn't feel comfortable with. The character would be brilliant and blaze. Then meekly get swept along in the tide.
For a woman so smart, she couldn't see basic violations and know that she wasn't being treated fairly. There wasn't any nuance to the alternate characters. They were just framed as horrible monsters, even throwing in a mentally-ill mother to kick the effect into overdrive. Which surprisingly bothered me a lot. Maybe it's the personal experience with Social Workers and having some as friends, but they aren't horrible people. None of the people I know in the system act like that nor would they have treated her so horrible, especially a person with such turnabout success story as the main characters. This could have gone so differently if both sides where displayed evenly. I wouldn't have been bothered by it so much.
April 17, 2015
Lesley has run away from her father and the sexual abuse she’s suffered at his hands and from her mother who’s done nothing to stop it. Social Services tries to help her but there are problems with her placement. The strain is taking a toll on Lesley and she turns to self-mutilation for relief, but when she cuts too deep, she is rushed to the hospital and deemed a danger to herself. Fortunately there is one woman, a former teacher she refers to as Miss, who stands by her and tries to help. However, concerns over Lesley’s self-destruction and the problem of being shifted from one facility to another, cause additional strain. Finally she finds comfort in another patient, her roommate, but this bond ends abruptly adding further anguish. The result is that Lesley takes desperate action, leading to more institutionalization and further mental health issues. Slowly she learns to cope but just as she appears to be on the right track with work and taking college classes, a surprise pregnancy brings Social Services back into her life and the officials are skeptical of Lesley’s stability. Despite numerous recommendations, they remove the baby right after she gives birth. The struggle to be able to mother her own child is a battle that Lesley is determined to fight. Crowell based this book on the real story of a similar case in England. The author herself is an abuse victim and her sensitivity to trauma and to institutions is realistic and hard-hitting. There is a balance of good and bad among the social workers, the therapists and other adults in Lesley’s life. Some are kind and sympathetic, some are hardened and distant, some are even cruel and hostile. The story is about resiliency and the importance of having someone who believes in you. Though Lesley suffered horrific abuse, she worked hard, and armed with the coping skills she’s learned, she hopes to be allowed to be a caring mother to her baby. She has scars both on the inside and on the outside to show her struggle, but they do not define her.
April 4, 2014
I received a paperback of Etched on Me through the Goodreads First Reads program in exchange for an honest review.
As a heads up, this is not a book I would recommend to everyone, as I think a lot of the content could be pretty triggering. That said, I thought the book was an interesting look at mental illness through one young woman's eyes. I was both surprised and sad to learn that parts of the story was inspired by actual events.
Etched on Me was incredibly difficult to read at times (enough so that I originally picked it up toward the end of February and put it back down for a while), but I really loved Crowell's writing. Lesley felt very real to me, which is part of what made the book so heartbreaking to read. I ended up crying several times while reading it. Crowell really made me want Lesley to succeed. I loved the phoenix metaphor that was used several times throughout the story. I also was not familiar with Crowell as an author and was surprised to learn at the end of the book that she is from Portland - the book takes place in England and Lesley's voice feels very realistic.
The only thing I didn't like was how a few things turned out toward the end of the story, and I wasn't sure how realistic that was, but after learning it was based off true events, I reconsidered that stance a bit.
I originally thought it was a YA novel because I learned about it on SimonTeen's Facebook page, but after reading it, I wouldn't describe it that way. But it is a coming of age story, and I enjoyed seeing Lesley's transformation over the course of the story. Despite this one being a difficult read for me in a lot of ways, it was definitely worthwhile for me and I'm looking forward to reading more of Crowell's books in the future.
As a heads up, this is not a book I would recommend to everyone, as I think a lot of the content could be pretty triggering. That said, I thought the book was an interesting look at mental illness through one young woman's eyes. I was both surprised and sad to learn that parts of the story was inspired by actual events.
Etched on Me was incredibly difficult to read at times (enough so that I originally picked it up toward the end of February and put it back down for a while), but I really loved Crowell's writing. Lesley felt very real to me, which is part of what made the book so heartbreaking to read. I ended up crying several times while reading it. Crowell really made me want Lesley to succeed. I loved the phoenix metaphor that was used several times throughout the story. I also was not familiar with Crowell as an author and was surprised to learn at the end of the book that she is from Portland - the book takes place in England and Lesley's voice feels very realistic.
The only thing I didn't like was how a few things turned out toward the end of the story, and I wasn't sure how realistic that was, but after learning it was based off true events, I reconsidered that stance a bit.
I originally thought it was a YA novel because I learned about it on SimonTeen's Facebook page, but after reading it, I wouldn't describe it that way. But it is a coming of age story, and I enjoyed seeing Lesley's transformation over the course of the story. Despite this one being a difficult read for me in a lot of ways, it was definitely worthwhile for me and I'm looking forward to reading more of Crowell's books in the future.
May 4, 2014
Etched on me is about a sixteen-year-old girl, named Lesley Holloway. She’s just another student at an all-girl prep school that’s located just north of London, Hawthorn Hill. Throughout the time she spent attending Hawthorn Hill, her father was sexually abusing her which caused her to run away from home. She started to use cutting herself as a coping mechanism, but one day she went too far and ended up in the ICU at the hospital. She spends the next two years making her rounds through psychiatric facilities, where she overcomes her memories and finds support through other people. She eventually completes school, and earns her degree. She becomes a social services success story. But one day she becomes unexpectedly pregnant, while in just her early twenties. After she has the baby, the same people that treated her through her teenage years, become the same people questioning if she is fit to be a mother
Someone who might be interested in this book would be someone who like compelling, heart-retching story. They would like this because the story within this book is very powerful and somewhat involves you in the journey of Lesley. Someone who would also like this book would be someone who likes brave main characters. They would like this because Lesley overcomes so much throughout the book, and becomes as brave as they can get.
I gave this book five stars because of how the story grabs you. I also like how vividly you can imagine the things the author describes. Throughout the book there are so many scenarios that are described that you can imagine as if you were really there and it was a memory
Someone who might be interested in this book would be someone who like compelling, heart-retching story. They would like this because the story within this book is very powerful and somewhat involves you in the journey of Lesley. Someone who would also like this book would be someone who likes brave main characters. They would like this because Lesley overcomes so much throughout the book, and becomes as brave as they can get.
I gave this book five stars because of how the story grabs you. I also like how vividly you can imagine the things the author describes. Throughout the book there are so many scenarios that are described that you can imagine as if you were really there and it was a memory
May 26, 2014
Lesley Holloway attends a posh all-girls school north of London, and she hides a very dark secret. She is a runaway from a home where here father has been sexually abusing her for years. She is living out of a hostel and found that cutting herself offers a release from the pain she has been enduring. This all becomes known when she cuts too deep.
Lesley ends up in a psychiatric facility where they try to address her issue and help set her on the way to recovery. Lesley is doing well and finishes school but she ends up pregnant, and social services threatens to take away her child once it is born. Through all of the struggles Lesley has been going through, the most difficult may prove to be fighting for custody of her child.
This book was raw and at times hard to read, but very hard to put down. The whole book had me fighting for Lesley to get straight and then upset at the judgements passed about her, no matter how hard she fought to straighten her life out. Her past choices always came back to haunt her. Her struggles will always be there but Lesley is a strong girl who when she really fights, she is a determined girl who won't back down or give up easily. The author did a fantastic job writing from Lesley's point of view. The struggles she faces and the fight she puts up, drive her further into not believing she can do it, but she manages to push those thoughts aside and keep on the right path. I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to others.
I received a copy of this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
Lesley ends up in a psychiatric facility where they try to address her issue and help set her on the way to recovery. Lesley is doing well and finishes school but she ends up pregnant, and social services threatens to take away her child once it is born. Through all of the struggles Lesley has been going through, the most difficult may prove to be fighting for custody of her child.
This book was raw and at times hard to read, but very hard to put down. The whole book had me fighting for Lesley to get straight and then upset at the judgements passed about her, no matter how hard she fought to straighten her life out. Her past choices always came back to haunt her. Her struggles will always be there but Lesley is a strong girl who when she really fights, she is a determined girl who won't back down or give up easily. The author did a fantastic job writing from Lesley's point of view. The struggles she faces and the fight she puts up, drive her further into not believing she can do it, but she manages to push those thoughts aside and keep on the right path. I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to others.
I received a copy of this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
May 13, 2014
Lesley Holloway a girl dealt a rotten hand in life, suffering the unthinkable - a survivor, a fighter. Abuse took its toll but somehow Lesley dug from deep within and prevailed by fighting her demons. She has come a long way and still struggles but never gives up and keeps on keeping on. Lesley now a young woman facing yet another unbelievable challenge, and once again she fights and struggles all the while never playing the victim.
This story is gripping and emotional. I had to keep reminding myself it's a fictional story. I kept asking myself, how much injustice can a person be dealt in a lifetime? I wanted to climb through the book and pull Lesley from the pages and erase all her pain and anguish. I wanted to fight for her and show her all the love and support in the world. I wanted to help her find her way as she continued to muster all her strength, courage and fight within. She touches your heart and you can't help being inspired. You will be this young woman's cheerleader for life!
Wonderfully written, touching on sensitive subject matters with a character focusing on the present and future as opposed to her heartbreaking past. A girl that has suffered beyond belief coming of age and emerges a victorious woman on many levels. A compelling story, leaving you elated and exhausted.
Atria Books provided a copy in exchange for an honest review
This story is gripping and emotional. I had to keep reminding myself it's a fictional story. I kept asking myself, how much injustice can a person be dealt in a lifetime? I wanted to climb through the book and pull Lesley from the pages and erase all her pain and anguish. I wanted to fight for her and show her all the love and support in the world. I wanted to help her find her way as she continued to muster all her strength, courage and fight within. She touches your heart and you can't help being inspired. You will be this young woman's cheerleader for life!
Wonderfully written, touching on sensitive subject matters with a character focusing on the present and future as opposed to her heartbreaking past. A girl that has suffered beyond belief coming of age and emerges a victorious woman on many levels. A compelling story, leaving you elated and exhausted.
Atria Books provided a copy in exchange for an honest review
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