Parentology: Everything You Wanted to Know About the Science of Raising Children but Were Too Exhausted to Ask

by Dalton Conley

Everything You Wanted to Know about the Science of Raising Children but Were Too Exhausted to Ask...

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Memoir, Sociology, Social Science, Self Help

256 pages, Hardcover

First published March 18, 2014

Reviews

[Kari · Rating 2 out of 5]

Parentology was billed as a book about the science behind parenting, maybe a little Freakonomics for child-raising. But it was actually about this weird guy and his unorthodox parenting techniques that he justifies using some statistics. I didn’t feel like I learned that much and it was disappointing overall.

[danah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Conley's book will have you rolling on the floor laughing and you'll even learn a lot in the process. As a researcher and parent, I rarely have any patience for parenting books. I either get angry at the presentation of the science or annoyed at the dryness of the writing. Worse, the prescriptions make me furious because anyone who tells you that there's a formula to parenting is lying. This is the first parenting book that I've read that I actually enjoyed and am actively recommending to others. Conley's willingness to detail his own failings, neuroses, and foolish logic (and to smack himself upside the head with research data in the process) showcases the trials and tribulations of parenting. Even experts make a mess of everything, but watching them do so so spectacularly lets us all off the hook. You will learn a lot in this book, even if it doesn't present the material in a how-to fashion. Instead, this book highlights the chaos that ensues when you try to implement science on the ground.

[Awwwtrouble · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really disliked this book - and author. And his insufferable kids. Ugh. I don't know what else to type - it's neither a memoir, nor an assessment/summary of scientific literature nor an accounting of experimentation. And by gum it's not in the least hilarious. Or even remotely funny. Glad it is over, was super pleased it had 40 pages of notes, so in the end I only had to read 189 pages (though I did read the idiotic notes, which included further name dropping and bragging).

[etta · Rating 1 out of 5]

The statistics were interesting but the author sounded like such a dick I couldn't finish it. He talks about how he named his child an asian name in an attempt to "reverse assimilate"??? He was mad that another kid was better at math than his own so he purposely gave him a puzzle that would "humiliate" him. NOT INTO IT.

[Kristen Northrup · Rating 2 out of 5]

He's... kind of a kook. I started having trouble with the argument to get your kids into special ed for the better teacher-student ratio, but I pretty much tuned out once he explained that it was fine for him to tease his children with the term retard because he's Italian. I love these books, usually. Brain Rules for Baby. NurtureShock. But despite being in Manhattan, this guy was just too Berkeley for me. I did read it all.

[Kim · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book has absolutely nothing to do with the science behind parenting, but reads as rather a journal of Conley's own parenting experiments and his relationship with his kids. It came across as rather defensive, actually, and seemed to me like he was trying to justify his unorthodox parenting decisions. It was very short and mostly filled with personal anecdotes about his life.

[Dee Panetta · Rating 1 out of 5]

Parentology is one of those books that sounds great in the description but never lives up to it's own hype. What sounds like an ambitious undertaking to write a novel on Conley's experiences combining his life as a sociologist with his life as a father ends up being a short ramble where he connects various studies with anecdotes about his children in an effort to be funny. While I'm all for humour in non-fiction, it's hard to know how to feel when he's joking about the success of his own childrearing. The fact that I was never sure what tone the book was trying to achieve (slice of life humour, or legitimate study?) left me confused and disappointed. Often times Conley contradicts himself i.e. when he cites a study that indicated children do not benefit from an expensive private school education, and then decides to send his two children to an expensive private school. If you're looking for parenting advice, this book is not for you. If you're looking for hard sociological facts, this book is not for you. If you're looking for humour and entertainment, there are certainly more suitable books out there.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I was expecting too much from this book. I had been uber-excited since learning about the author in "Freakonomics" and had stalked my way to pre-ordering it. When it arrived I immediately dove in and surfaced with a 'meh.' There's nothing new in it and there wasn't really anything unique enough about the topics, from his point of view, to stand out from other parenting books. A solid "get from your library" choice, unless you want to help fund E's donation to help animals or Yo's purchase of a piece of Philly.

Social scientist Dalton Conley covers among other things choosing to medicate, or not, for ADD, how to motivate kids, discipline techniques, choosing schools, and genetics vs. environment. Interspersed with personal experience the author translates the latest research into understandable chapters, and how it might pertain to the reader's life. Easy to read; not horrible, but not new.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

It would be best to read this out of leisure or fun, rather than as a "serious" non-fiction book. I liked Conley's witty (okay, sometimes corny) style that simplifies studies and definitions for social science noobs. There were times that I laughed out loud, so he did well on engaging the reader based on his relaying of personal experience.

To me, the book might have been a bigger success if he did not use the word "science" in his book title because that gave rise to expectations of a more scientific approach. I thought that the mentioned results of the research studies were too generalised and there was no or little mention of the statistics or possible variables involved. Naturally, this frustrated me as I felt that I was being informed of these results via a top-down approach, rather than being given the responsibility to think them through and then being convinced.

[Janie · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is Conley blovating about the parenting choices he made for his own two children, with lots of citations thrown in (and sometimes thrown around and thrown out). It's like Mormons citing General Authorities to support small-time, personal-favorite doctrines: you can find some source to support whatever conclusion you've already come to.

It got bad and then worse, ending with drugging a kid to keep him in industrial compulsory schooling (private school, in this case, for anyone keeping track).

It's short; nevertheless, we considered abandoning it before it was over. When it was I was glad.

[Tim Van Order · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was hoping this book would, as the cover says, provide information about raising children. Instead it’s mostly filler about the author’s specific experience with his own kids, and how they are somehow geniuses according to the author, but behind their peers according to everyone else. Oh and arguing with the teachers about it.

I really lost a lot of respect or even desire to finish the book: It’s one thing to let your kids swear profusely and unapologetically, but throwing the R-word around in conversation with them and then repeating it in a published book? What is wrong with this guy.

This may be the first book I’ve ever read where I regret every minute I spent reading it.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

In terms of style, this book gets a 5. Conley blends memoir and scientific review in a funny, honest voice. However, in terms of persuasive content, I'd give this a 1. There were some really interesting studies, but I don't plan on implementing much of the advice Conley endorses. That Conley deeply loves his children and will break any traditional rule to give them a slight advantage in life is clear. Conley sums up the book perfectly when he wrote, "Scientific parenting is my ode of parental love."

[Stephen King · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title is misleading. It's basically a memoir from a mildly annoying author who gives somewhat problematic advice. A book somebody might be amused by if they were to find it on a plane, but definitely not something I would give to a new parent looking to learn something.

[Joanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ok, you're not going to get any good parenting advice from this book but you'll get a good laugh out of this PhD over analyzing everything his kids ever did.

[Carrie O'Maley Voliva · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought there'd be more science and interesting studies. It ended up being mostly memoir and anecdotes about his own kids, which wasn't all that entertaining.

[Katie Hornberger · Rating 2 out of 5]

I saw this at the library while picking up a different book and was drawn to the cover. I read the back- it is advertised as the science/research behind different parenting decisions. I picked it up thinking it was going to be about the research to support different discipline techniques, enforcing bedtimes, cosleeping, reading to your kids, etc., or whatever topics the author was interested in. Instead, it was more of a memoir about a quirky NY dad who seemed like he was trying to justify his parenting decisions with research. It was geared toward adolescents and beyond, not much about babes, toddlers, or early childhood age. The author was honest, admitting his parenting challenges readily, but he is such an oddball, I just didn’t relate. As far as the research, he explained it well, but it just wasn’t the topics I was interested in.

The one take away for me was that only children and families with two kids end up having the most successful kids. Once you hit three or more, there is significantly less parent/kiddo time and kids generally are less successful. And there’s research to show it.

[Dana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I hate to say this, but I was slightly bored reading this. It's a lot of anecdotes, mixed with some science, but I felt the author was elitist in his research. For example, he says families who have more than 3 kids usually have lower IQs and are poor, and religious.

His opinions soured me a bit.

[Lindsay · Rating 3 out of 5]

I definitely didn't hate this book as much as I should have - the reviews tore it apart. It was funny and made me think about how I view myself as a parent. Although his parenting style (if you could call it that) is far from conventional, it was refreshing. 3.5/5

[Byrne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is basically Tiger Mom meets Tim Ferriss. Would have been three stars and not four without the last chapter, about how generic effects overwhelm all the specific interventions we try.

[Kels · Rating 1 out of 5]

What an absolute douche.

[Brenda Ho · Rating 1 out of 5]

Didn't finish this. There isn't anything bad about this book per se, but I just wasn't into it.

[Wan Shoo · Rating 3 out of 5]

The message of parenting was hidden between stories and lines. The author could be more succinct.

[Amanda Rowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining and educational - what more can you ask for in a book? I love to laugh an learn at the same time.

[D · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a parenting book so much as a memoir with some well researched explanations. An easy read where you laugh a bunch, learn a little, and learn to laugh at your own parenting journey.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's not a parenting book, but it does contain information and topics that worth exploring further.

[Chuan Liang · Rating 1 out of 5]

Author appeared to be pre-occupied with using scientific papers and theories to justify his way of bringing up his kids.

Pity his kids, read half way and gave up.

[Jessica VanPeursem · Rating 2 out of 5]

Citing research every other sentence doesn’t mean it’s right 👎🏼

[Erin Adwell Teague · Rating 4 out of 5]

Takes me forever to read these days, but this book was engaging and interesting.

[Erin · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. This author sounded completely insufferable. The writing was mostly anecdotes where he seemed like he cherry-picked studies to support his (often weird) parenting decisions.

[Michelle Natu · Rating 2 out of 5]

A slow read for me. Its interesting to view life from a sociologist perspective but im not that intrigued. Not really about parenting tips, more like a life stories to me. But no doubt author has a unique approach and thoughts in raising his kids.