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Trauma Bonded: A True Story of Navigating Attachments Forged in Complex PTSD
Break free from toxic trauma bonds and reclaim a happier, healed life with this self-help memoir.You never forget your first kiss, your first love…or your first trauma bond.
Emotionally battered and neglected by her personality disordered parents—and manipulated by Mormon beliefs—16-year-old Sarah was convinced her boyfriend Michael would save her. When her parents discovered that they’d committed the sin of premarital sex, the aftermath left the teenagers irrevocably bonded.
Your trauma bond might feel like true love—or an obligation to repair or heal a relationship—but that toxic connection is a shackle, trapping you in the pain of your past. Break free and reclaim the happy, authentic life you deserve.
With humor, grace, and untamed honesty, therapist Sarah Westbrook shares a 25-year journey of navigating relationships impacted by abuse and trauma. Part confessional memoir, part self-help guide for survivors, Trauma Bonded pairs her extraordinary story of recovery with mental health insights for overcoming toxic relationships, healing from childhood trauma, and finding peace after complex post-traumatic stress disorder (c-PTSD).
You’ll unique perspective of c-PTSD through adolescence, marriage, affairs, and motherhood.The role of chronic traumatic experiences in attachment styles and the neuroscience in the development of trauma bonds.Why trauma bonds drive self-destructive behavior—despite the cost to you and everyone else caught in the crossfire—and ways to break the cycle.How religious trauma from the Mormon church or other sects may skew your worldview and belief system.Tips for building healthy relationships based on respect, trust, and unconditional love (not shared trauma)!It’s time to leave your pain in the past—where it belongs. Break the manacles of your trauma bonds and finally find freedom with Trauma Bonded.
Emotionally battered and neglected by her personality disordered parents—and manipulated by Mormon beliefs—16-year-old Sarah was convinced her boyfriend Michael would save her. When her parents discovered that they’d committed the sin of premarital sex, the aftermath left the teenagers irrevocably bonded.
Your trauma bond might feel like true love—or an obligation to repair or heal a relationship—but that toxic connection is a shackle, trapping you in the pain of your past. Break free and reclaim the happy, authentic life you deserve.
With humor, grace, and untamed honesty, therapist Sarah Westbrook shares a 25-year journey of navigating relationships impacted by abuse and trauma. Part confessional memoir, part self-help guide for survivors, Trauma Bonded pairs her extraordinary story of recovery with mental health insights for overcoming toxic relationships, healing from childhood trauma, and finding peace after complex post-traumatic stress disorder (c-PTSD).
You’ll unique perspective of c-PTSD through adolescence, marriage, affairs, and motherhood.The role of chronic traumatic experiences in attachment styles and the neuroscience in the development of trauma bonds.Why trauma bonds drive self-destructive behavior—despite the cost to you and everyone else caught in the crossfire—and ways to break the cycle.How religious trauma from the Mormon church or other sects may skew your worldview and belief system.Tips for building healthy relationships based on respect, trust, and unconditional love (not shared trauma)!It’s time to leave your pain in the past—where it belongs. Break the manacles of your trauma bonds and finally find freedom with Trauma Bonded.
545 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 6, 2023
9 people are currently reading
961 people want to read
About the author
Sarah Westbrook
1 book9 followersSarah Westbrook, MS, LPC, NCC, is the founder of Westbrook Counseling Services and Daisy Girl Communications. As a trauma survivor herself, she understands the work that goes into healing. She helps her clients work through their pain to achieve lasting results, laughing along the way to becoming their most authentic self.
A National Certified Counselor (NCC) and a member of the American Counseling Association (ACA), Sarah entered clinical practice as a professional counselor in 2014. With a master of science in mental health counseling from Walden University and focused continued education in Trauma Informed Therapy, The Gottman Method, DBT, and CBT, she provides individual therapy, couples and family counseling, and weekend psychoeducational training courses.
After a dysfunctional and abusive Mormon upbringing, Sarah left the religion and began her journey to heal from c-PTSD and the religious trauma of her childhood. She shares her story of surviving personality disordedred parents, her faith transition, along with advice for healing from toxic cult-like religious systems, on her podcast Unpacking Mormonism and Other Religious Trauma. She also hosts Raising Crazy: Growing Up to Show Up, where she offers psychoeducation for parents and caregivers, especially those with behaviorally challenging children.
After traveling the US as an Army wife and mother of seven, Sarah and her family put down roots in central Missouri. In her rare spare time, she loves to read, binge watch Friends, hike, and can occasionally be found hiding from her children and eating caramel popcorn in her closet. Learn more at www.daisygirlcommunications.com.
A National Certified Counselor (NCC) and a member of the American Counseling Association (ACA), Sarah entered clinical practice as a professional counselor in 2014. With a master of science in mental health counseling from Walden University and focused continued education in Trauma Informed Therapy, The Gottman Method, DBT, and CBT, she provides individual therapy, couples and family counseling, and weekend psychoeducational training courses.
After a dysfunctional and abusive Mormon upbringing, Sarah left the religion and began her journey to heal from c-PTSD and the religious trauma of her childhood. She shares her story of surviving personality disordedred parents, her faith transition, along with advice for healing from toxic cult-like religious systems, on her podcast Unpacking Mormonism and Other Religious Trauma. She also hosts Raising Crazy: Growing Up to Show Up, where she offers psychoeducation for parents and caregivers, especially those with behaviorally challenging children.
After traveling the US as an Army wife and mother of seven, Sarah and her family put down roots in central Missouri. In her rare spare time, she loves to read, binge watch Friends, hike, and can occasionally be found hiding from her children and eating caramel popcorn in her closet. Learn more at www.daisygirlcommunications.com.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
September 1, 2023
This book made me feel all of the feels. At times I was angry at the author and at other times I was angry at and FOR her husband. I caught myself yelling at my kindle. Other emotions hit me in the face as there was a connection to my own childhood religious upbringing, although not mormon, similar in many ways. I want to know more. I want to hear more remorse, I want to hear how her husband copes. I want to hear the author has the tools needed to stop the behavior. All in all, I couldn’t put this book down and I need to talk about it. I feel like I have been through a trauma reading this, and I am one sidedly bonded to the author because of it. Where does one pull out that level of bravery to disclose these personal accounts? Excellent writing. Bravo!
August 23, 2023
Trauma bond. As it is written, this book is about a story. However, I prefer more studies and information. I think it depends of your preference. If you qre looking for a story, this is the book.
July 23, 2023
"Trauma Bonded: A True Story of Navigating Attachments Forged in Complex PTSD" by Sarah Westbrook is a powerful and candid self-help memoir that explores the journey of breaking free from toxic trauma bonds and reclaiming a happier, healed life. The author, Sarah Westbrook, shares her personal experience of being emotionally battered and neglected by her personality-disordered parents and manipulated by Mormon beliefs during her adolescence.
At 16 years old, Sarah believed that her boyfriend, Michael, would save her from the pain and dysfunction in her life. However, when her parents discovered that she had committed the "sin" of premarital sex, the aftermath resulted in an irrevocable trauma bond between Sarah and Michael.
The book delves into the concept of trauma bonds, which may feel like true love or an obligation to repair and heal a relationship, but are ultimately toxic and trapping. Through humor, grace, and unfiltered honesty, Sarah Westbrook shares her 25-year journey of navigating relationships impacted by abuse and trauma.
"Trauma Bonded" is part confessional memoir and part self-help guide for survivors, offering mental health insights and strategies for overcoming toxic relationships, healing from childhood trauma, and finding peace after complex post-traumatic stress disorder (c-PTSD).
Readers will gain a unique perspective of c-PTSD through various life stages, including adolescence, marriage, affairs, and motherhood. The book delves into the role of chronic traumatic experiences in attachment styles and the neuroscience behind the development of trauma bonds.
Sarah also addresses the impact of religious trauma, particularly from the Mormon church or other sects, on one's worldview and belief system. In addition, the book provides practical tips for building healthy relationships based on respect, trust, and unconditional love, rather than shared trauma.
"Trauma Bonded" aims to empower readers to leave their pain in the past and break free from the manacles of trauma bonds, finally finding freedom and healing. Through her story of recovery, Sarah Westbrook offers hope and guidance for individuals struggling with the aftermath of traumatic experiences and seeking to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Overall, "Trauma Bonded" appears to be a moving and insightful memoir that offers valuable insights and tools for healing and breaking free from toxic trauma bonds. With its blend of personal narrative and mental health expertise, the book promises to resonate with readers who have experienced trauma and are seeking a path towards growth, healing, and authentic living.
At 16 years old, Sarah believed that her boyfriend, Michael, would save her from the pain and dysfunction in her life. However, when her parents discovered that she had committed the "sin" of premarital sex, the aftermath resulted in an irrevocable trauma bond between Sarah and Michael.
The book delves into the concept of trauma bonds, which may feel like true love or an obligation to repair and heal a relationship, but are ultimately toxic and trapping. Through humor, grace, and unfiltered honesty, Sarah Westbrook shares her 25-year journey of navigating relationships impacted by abuse and trauma.
"Trauma Bonded" is part confessional memoir and part self-help guide for survivors, offering mental health insights and strategies for overcoming toxic relationships, healing from childhood trauma, and finding peace after complex post-traumatic stress disorder (c-PTSD).
Readers will gain a unique perspective of c-PTSD through various life stages, including adolescence, marriage, affairs, and motherhood. The book delves into the role of chronic traumatic experiences in attachment styles and the neuroscience behind the development of trauma bonds.
Sarah also addresses the impact of religious trauma, particularly from the Mormon church or other sects, on one's worldview and belief system. In addition, the book provides practical tips for building healthy relationships based on respect, trust, and unconditional love, rather than shared trauma.
"Trauma Bonded" aims to empower readers to leave their pain in the past and break free from the manacles of trauma bonds, finally finding freedom and healing. Through her story of recovery, Sarah Westbrook offers hope and guidance for individuals struggling with the aftermath of traumatic experiences and seeking to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Overall, "Trauma Bonded" appears to be a moving and insightful memoir that offers valuable insights and tools for healing and breaking free from toxic trauma bonds. With its blend of personal narrative and mental health expertise, the book promises to resonate with readers who have experienced trauma and are seeking a path towards growth, healing, and authentic living.
August 13, 2023
Trauma Bonded is one of the best books I’ve read in a very long time. I could not put it down. I literally read all night the first night. The writing itself was superb and so mesmerizing.
Sarah was so brutally honest and detailed in her storytelling. Knowing that these were her actual life experience was what kept me so entranced . Thank you Sarah for sharing your story. We all have those trauma bonds but are reticent to talk about them.
Sarah was so brutally honest and detailed in her storytelling. Knowing that these were her actual life experience was what kept me so entranced . Thank you Sarah for sharing your story. We all have those trauma bonds but are reticent to talk about them.
August 5, 2023
"Trauma Bonded: A True Story of Navigating Attachments Forged in Complex PTSD" Was the first book I have read that was not something assigned to read by a class in over 20 years. I was completely hooked from the beginning. I was able to identify with Mrs. Westbrook on many levels having grown up in the same religion and having the same feelings as a child. It was nice to know that I was not alone in those feelings. This is a must read.
August 1, 2023
This book was fascinating, entertaining and hard to put down! The vulnerability that writing this book must have took unlike anything I have seen. The author really shows how a toxic trauma bond can affect and hurt not only yourself but others as well. In this case Sarah Westbrook is bonded with her high school sweetheart. Throughout her life he keeps popping up and she can’t seem to say away due to the trauma they experienced together, (at the hands of her parents) even if it means hurting the people she loves. Not to mention all the trauma due to the cult like Mormon church, and trying to navigate that through out her late teens and into adulthood. Overall this was a very good and enjoyable book to read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 27, 2024
“Trauma Bonded” is a memoir written by therapist Sarah Westbrook. In it she shares her personal journey of enduring abusive and manipulative relationships. It began with her parents, who seem to have some emotional and behavioral issues. They were also heavily influenced by rigid Mormon beliefs, which caused more damage than good. In her teens, she had a boyfriend with whom she created trauma bonds. These bonds will impact her for much of her life because he continues to play a role, even though she has moved on to a healthy partner. However, the trauma bond created with the boyfriend brought damage into her marriage.
Sarah takes us on a journey through her life so that we can see how she developed complex post-traumatic stress disorder. She shares her healing journey with readers. This process wasn’t always smooth because she would have triggering episodes with her parents and ex-boyfriend. She also had to deal with the loss of a therapist.
This book is divided into four parts. The first deals with her childhood. The second delves into her relationship with the boyfriend with whom she had trauma bonds. The third section involves her as a young adult. While the final part deals with her recovery process. Throughout her story, she is greatly pained by her relationship with her parents and her mother’s inability to stand up to her father. As I read about her childhood, I felt that some of her unusual behaviors had to have had a childhood incident that impacted her greatly. This is confirmed when her mother discloses something to her that she was witness to as a toddler. It is fascinating to see Westbrook share her life story, and then analyze it from a therapist’s perspective.
Her insights will be appreciated by others who are also dealing with issues that lead to trauma bonds, and the issues involved with trying to recover from them. Westbrook’s style of writing is engaging and sensitive. She can relay a great deal of personal insight and psychological information to readers without overwhelming them. You don’t need to be a mental health professional to understand this.
I read “Trauma Bonded” because I wanted more insight into a situation that a friend is dealing with, who is clearly trauma bonded to her abusive partner. As I read, I started to recognize patterns that I had created in my own life because of childhood parental abuse. It was very insightful to recognize that I had created these behaviors because of my own trauma bonds. My adult relationships have also been impacted by them. I realize I have a lot more healing work to do.
“Trauma Bonded” by Sarah Westbrook is a must-read for people who are interested in learning more about this issue. Therapists, counselors, and other mental health professionals will appreciate the knowledge gained here. Survivors will find “Trauma Bonded” to be poignant and thought provoking. It will give them hope and inspiration for recovery and healing.
Sarah takes us on a journey through her life so that we can see how she developed complex post-traumatic stress disorder. She shares her healing journey with readers. This process wasn’t always smooth because she would have triggering episodes with her parents and ex-boyfriend. She also had to deal with the loss of a therapist.
This book is divided into four parts. The first deals with her childhood. The second delves into her relationship with the boyfriend with whom she had trauma bonds. The third section involves her as a young adult. While the final part deals with her recovery process. Throughout her story, she is greatly pained by her relationship with her parents and her mother’s inability to stand up to her father. As I read about her childhood, I felt that some of her unusual behaviors had to have had a childhood incident that impacted her greatly. This is confirmed when her mother discloses something to her that she was witness to as a toddler. It is fascinating to see Westbrook share her life story, and then analyze it from a therapist’s perspective.
Her insights will be appreciated by others who are also dealing with issues that lead to trauma bonds, and the issues involved with trying to recover from them. Westbrook’s style of writing is engaging and sensitive. She can relay a great deal of personal insight and psychological information to readers without overwhelming them. You don’t need to be a mental health professional to understand this.
I read “Trauma Bonded” because I wanted more insight into a situation that a friend is dealing with, who is clearly trauma bonded to her abusive partner. As I read, I started to recognize patterns that I had created in my own life because of childhood parental abuse. It was very insightful to recognize that I had created these behaviors because of my own trauma bonds. My adult relationships have also been impacted by them. I realize I have a lot more healing work to do.
“Trauma Bonded” by Sarah Westbrook is a must-read for people who are interested in learning more about this issue. Therapists, counselors, and other mental health professionals will appreciate the knowledge gained here. Survivors will find “Trauma Bonded” to be poignant and thought provoking. It will give them hope and inspiration for recovery and healing.
December 19, 2023
I appreciate the author’s honesty about her experiences and feelings. It’s difficult enough to do so with trusted people or in therapy, but to put it all out there and in writing… Wow, just wow.
The Author’s Notes reflecting back as an adult provide a lot of insight and growth as well as “tips” for lack of better word for us readers to consider for ourselves. She also provides relevant resources for further reading.
Readers are taken through many situations in which the below behaviors take place:
Attention depravation, captive audience, demanding forgiveness, forced “confessions”, gender-based gaslighting, grooming females for compliance, homophobia, invasion of personal space, isolation, invalidation, lack of parental communication, physical abuse, sexual shame (including Madonna/Whore), silencing, stigmas regarding mental illness, yelling.
Over time, these lead to self-destructive behaviors such as attachment issues, burnout, c-PTSD, denial, emotional stagnation, fear of reprisals, hypersexuality, hypervigilance, mental illness, people pleaser, Stockholm Syndrome, substance abuse, suicide, trauma bonding, etc.
While the author’s experiences happened within the framework of her parents’ chosen religious affiliation, I feel it is my human duty to point out that this is not the only organization that (at that time & place) enabled systematic abuse towards children and teens. Many secular families do this as well, regardless of religious affiliation.
#SeeSomethingSaySomething
Suggested for those who never lived through anything like this – it’s an amazing vehicle to understand and build compassion for those who have.
Fave line:
“Never underestimate a cycle breaker”
~Unknown
***One brief personal note about “ADHD” and the mention of medications:
Drugs cover up our gifts and we are taught to suppress who we truly are in order to fit in. Society needs to correct the narrative and start employing our NeuroDivergent brains in the manner they were designed.
Thank you for your vulnerability and your continued work on yourself and for others to find healing.
The Author’s Notes reflecting back as an adult provide a lot of insight and growth as well as “tips” for lack of better word for us readers to consider for ourselves. She also provides relevant resources for further reading.
Readers are taken through many situations in which the below behaviors take place:
Attention depravation, captive audience, demanding forgiveness, forced “confessions”, gender-based gaslighting, grooming females for compliance, homophobia, invasion of personal space, isolation, invalidation, lack of parental communication, physical abuse, sexual shame (including Madonna/Whore), silencing, stigmas regarding mental illness, yelling.
Over time, these lead to self-destructive behaviors such as attachment issues, burnout, c-PTSD, denial, emotional stagnation, fear of reprisals, hypersexuality, hypervigilance, mental illness, people pleaser, Stockholm Syndrome, substance abuse, suicide, trauma bonding, etc.
While the author’s experiences happened within the framework of her parents’ chosen religious affiliation, I feel it is my human duty to point out that this is not the only organization that (at that time & place) enabled systematic abuse towards children and teens. Many secular families do this as well, regardless of religious affiliation.
#SeeSomethingSaySomething
Suggested for those who never lived through anything like this – it’s an amazing vehicle to understand and build compassion for those who have.
Fave line:
“Never underestimate a cycle breaker”
~Unknown
***One brief personal note about “ADHD” and the mention of medications:
Drugs cover up our gifts and we are taught to suppress who we truly are in order to fit in. Society needs to correct the narrative and start employing our NeuroDivergent brains in the manner they were designed.
Thank you for your vulnerability and your continued work on yourself and for others to find healing.
August 3, 2023
Trauma Bonded is such a valuable reading experience. The author is ruthless in exposing herself at the most vulnerable points in her life, and while some might call her account ‘unflinching,’ she does indeed flinch. Her mature and educated insight into her past invites the reader to flinch along with her, imparting courage to examine their own painful history in an effort to find strength and healing. Her storytelling voice is engaging and concise, with an edge of relatable sardonicism, and her personal depiction of trauma bonding is recognizable even outside of the scope of the religious trauma she experienced. I absolutely recommend this book and author to anyone who has experienced trauma, particularly as a child.
August 23, 2023
Trauma bonded was a riveting true story that is so helpful in identifying some of the reasons we do incredibly stupid things in our lives. The things that hurt those we care about as well as ourselves. It was emotionally wrenching! I hated the characters at times. I loved them at other times. I felt for and hurt with them. It was an emotionally painful ride that brought so much love in my heart. For myself, and for those in confusion, trauma, and pain.
I could barely put it down and learned a lot about myself. Sarah was raw and vulnerable in a way that is rarely seen in literature today.
Highly recommend!!
I could barely put it down and learned a lot about myself. Sarah was raw and vulnerable in a way that is rarely seen in literature today.
Highly recommend!!
July 19, 2023
This book is a must-read for anyone who has endured a painful childhood in a dysfunctional home. Ms. Westbrook's autobiography is a gripping story of how an emotionally abused child transcended her early life to become a self-realized adult, told with unflinching honesty. Along the way we get a fascinating look at the inner workings of the Mormon church and its often destructive power over its members. I enjoyed reading Trauma Bonded and believe it will help people who have endured a similar upbringing.
September 5, 2023
An excellent look at Complex PTSD from someone who seamlessly integrates her childhood memories with her adult perspective. As a therapist who specializes in C-PTSD, I would recommend this book to anyone who is working through difficult attachments as a result of complex trauma from their childhood. People with C-PTSD will recognize themselves in her experiences, and people who love and support someone with C-PTSD will benefit from learning about her internal experience and her clinical analysis of the problem and solutions.
July 31, 2023
Trauma Bonded was hard to put down and the first book I've finished in over 15 years.
Sarah's ability to navigate through her childhood experiences and work through complex PTSD is truly inspiring.
I highly recommend this book to anyone. The interesting thing about c-PTSD is how it's different for everyone but this story helps me see that healing is a continuing process.
Easy read. Great story. Amazing insight.
God Bless Sarah and her family for sharing.
Sarah's ability to navigate through her childhood experiences and work through complex PTSD is truly inspiring.
I highly recommend this book to anyone. The interesting thing about c-PTSD is how it's different for everyone but this story helps me see that healing is a continuing process.
Easy read. Great story. Amazing insight.
God Bless Sarah and her family for sharing.
September 7, 2023
This book is gut punching honest. Like most things in my life, reading this book felt contradictory. At times, I couldn't stop reading while others I literally could not open it. When I couldn't stop, the story pulled me in like a conversation with an old friend. Other times, I'd feel angry or triggered by overwhelming emotions that I became numb. Leaving me trying to process my feelings and previous experiences I thought I had handled.
September 6, 2023
Whew. This book!
There's a lot of healing in this book through the process of pages, and there's a lot of doors that this will open up for people. Prepare yourself for a ride—and a ride that's worth it.
In the end, the story is riveting. It exposes the things we do / say / commit in ways that isn't always easy to read—but so important to read. It's engaging in that the honesty is raw and visceral. As a parent, it helped me step back and ask, "How can I do things better / different?"
It's one of those books that creates a lot of introspection, and I love that in my non-fiction. I can't help but admire Sarah's willingness to open up that artery and bleed onto the page.
Her experience has also been captured on the page in way that's well-spoken, doesn't feel like a dirge (so many memoirs do!), and with great editing and layout. The structure of the book is great, and professionally put together.
There's a lot of healing in this book through the process of pages, and there's a lot of doors that this will open up for people. Prepare yourself for a ride—and a ride that's worth it.
In the end, the story is riveting. It exposes the things we do / say / commit in ways that isn't always easy to read—but so important to read. It's engaging in that the honesty is raw and visceral. As a parent, it helped me step back and ask, "How can I do things better / different?"
It's one of those books that creates a lot of introspection, and I love that in my non-fiction. I can't help but admire Sarah's willingness to open up that artery and bleed onto the page.
Her experience has also been captured on the page in way that's well-spoken, doesn't feel like a dirge (so many memoirs do!), and with great editing and layout. The structure of the book is great, and professionally put together.
December 31, 2023
-Goodreads giveaway winner-
Once I started reading this I couldn't put it down. The author writes very well and her ability to put her experiences into novel form was excellent. This book is real, raw, and will keep you turning the page. It takes alot of courage to put your trauma out there like she did.
Once I started reading this I couldn't put it down. The author writes very well and her ability to put her experiences into novel form was excellent. This book is real, raw, and will keep you turning the page. It takes alot of courage to put your trauma out there like she did.
August 6, 2023
I had a hard time putting this book down, the story ropes you in. The author tells her personal story in a very forthcoming way that makes you feel as if you are there beside her in her journey from hurt to healing.
August 6, 2023
A very good read, well written. I was hooked from the first chapter. I highly recommend reading this book.
November 19, 2024
Read on Audible
November 19, 2023
Excellent! Thank you.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews