Zombies: They're Not All Brain-Eaters

by Alex Witney

A Comedy Sci-Fi Like No Other! Where Zombies are your friends and only occasionally eat brains.

In a future where zombies are equals, Roy Tubbs and his recently deceased zombie friend Kurt ‘Mac’ MacReady are fed up with their dead end jobs as an accountant and lifeguard respectively.

Drunkenly deciding to use their savings and Mac’s recent insurance claim they go on a once in a life time road trip. Though not all goes as planned as they delve into the fragile, flaky world of zombie politics. With kidnappings, strange abominations and an ill-fated opportunity to save every zombie on earth.

170 pages, Paperback

First published June 21, 2013

About the author

Alex Witney was born in Peterborough in 1988 and has lived in a number of cities and countries, and is currently based in Cambridge, UK. He attended Canterbury Christ Church University and studied Geography. Apart from writing, his main interest is film and he sporadically reviews new and old releases, all of which are available on his personal website.

He started writing science fiction short stories in his final year of university, and has since produced short stories across a variety of other genres including horror and comedy.

Reviews

[C.M.J. Wallace · Rating 3 out of 5]

A researcher conducting clinical trials for revival of coma patients discovers that OSZ68 serum is capable not only of reviving the mostly dead but also of revitalizing the really dead, most notably their brain tissue. Prozombie factions and legislation alike flow from this discovery, including zombie equality laws to protect zombie rights.

Roy (nonzombie) and Mac (zombie) are friends who go on a vacation together, Mac having attained his exalted state of undeadness by drowning and then being revived with OSZ68. He subsequently loses his job as a lifeguard because of the possibility of his contaminating the water. His barrister defends him thus: “Floating bits of Mr MacReady were negligible [in comparison with] the overwhelming positive, namely that not having to breathe made him perfectly suited as a lifeguard.”

In the course of their vacation, Roy and Mac run afoul of a scientist who’s working on creating more compliant zombies—aka zombie slaves—and discover some of the truth behind the creation of OSZ68. I’d like to have included a nice little summary sentence here, but the book is a cliff-hanger, and I mean a precipitous and precipitate one. So this is it.

Witney has created an entertaining novel that follows the adventures of kinder, gentler zombies than the run-of-the-mill brain-devouring types that rampage (however slowly and stiffly) through so many books and movies. His writing is humorous and at times witty.

I’m not sure who Witney’s target audience is, but the book would probably appeal to teens and zombie aficionados. However, there is a fair amount of profanity in the novel, the dreaded f-word being among the repeat offenders. The story would have been better without the vulgarity.

As is the case with so many indie books, this one suffered from reams of bad editing, which may or may not be the fault of the author because there are so many bad editors out there. Errors included punctuation and word misuse, misspellings, and grammatical faux pas. Here’s a smattering: “He didn’t dislike his job, it had decent hours” [comma splice]; “contemplating the intricacies…was a past time of” [pastime]; “stop him from reverting back to” [reverting to]; “Falkland islands” [Islands]; “two years experience” [years’ experience]; “he said ,in a” [he said, in a]; “investigated., The” [investigated. The]; “viscosity,which” [viscosity, which]; “ever other day” [every other day]; “the doctor was eluding to Goran” [was alluding to]; “Margret Thatcher” [Margaret Thatcher]; “What!?” [What?!].

One of the amusing mental images engendered by the lack of a comma—whose dearth was frequent, alas—was this: “[T]he doctor…was now sitting in front of one of the bubbling liquids taking notes.”

Zombies wasn’t my cup of tea, but people who are fond of the genre will probably like it better and rate it higher.

[Valerie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got this book through First Reads, the first fiction book I've won through the program, so I'm a little sad I have to rate it so low. Truthfully, it was pretty hard to read. I get where the author is coming from, sort of the world at the end of Shaun of the Dead only with more with-it zombies. Also road trips. The concept is one that I was drawn to, but the execution fell flat. The style is pretty laden with problems addressed in any creative writing 101 class and what should be clever references (Dr. H. West and towels anyone?) come off as forced. The characters could be taken far, but so much time is spent explaining their every waking thought that there's just no time to get to like them. The writer breaks the fourth wall with criticism of his own work... which could really be taken to heart. I know it's a first novel, but the technique feels much earlier in the writer's career than that.

I hate leaving negative reviews, but I just didn't finish this book with much more than a meh feeling. There is apparently a sequel in the works, and I hope the writer learns to trust the reader more and leave a bit more to the imagination rather than spelling everything so blatantly clear.

[Deborah Sastroredjo · Rating 2 out of 5]

In the racial tag game, it’s the turn of the zombies. Scientists created an antidote for death. Everybody that can come back is coming back thanks to this. And yeah, not everybody is eating brains – personally this was confusing for me. I mean what kind of self respecting zombie are you? *wink wink*

Roy is tired of his job and his recently zombified friend feels the same way. They decide on a road trip and then the things that happens between friends whose life have changed a little too much happen.

It was nice to read a different kind of zombie story, but it was also a little … strange. Not the bad kind of strange, but it’s like I could not really pinpoint what the real story was supposed to be. There was a lot happening, so it wasn’t boring, but I think that everybody would get a different viewpoint reading this book. Which is not a bad thing.

[S.L. Figuhr · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book as a kindle edition. I really enjoyed how the zombies are not portrayed as the typical mindless masses only intent on feeding and making more of them.

I caught quite a few movie references that had me grinning in glee, and am looking forward to the next book in the series.

[Lance Gettler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a review copy of this book, and while zombies aren't really my genre, this book was a fun quick read. It was enjoyable enough to sit and read in one sitting on a Sunday afternoon. Worth a read.