I went through this, two chapters a week, with some guys at my church.
There are 40 short chapters, each of which is a quick read and come across as kind of glib to me. However, each chapter has 3 to 5 discussion questions at the end that are insanely deep. Recommended only if:
(1) If you have a group of church guys willing to read it regularly and then really think about the questions together. My group tried, but we still didn't get very deep because only some people were willing to open up. But, that's not the book's fault. And it sparked a lot of good discussions, and did make us better friends.
(2) If you don't have a group of friends to go over it with, but can think deeply and are a good journaler. Then you'll still get good value out of the discussion questions if you read them, look at yourself and your shortcomings at least somewhat honestly, and then write down what you've learned about yourself and what you're hoping you and God will do about fixing it.
(3) If you want something for a group Bible study or 40 extensive (say, 1 hour or longer) personal Bible studies. MacDonald cites 8-15 or so Bible verses per chapter, some within the text, some only in the back of the book. So you can just go through all of those for a chapter and generate your own fairly in-depth themed Bible study out of it, either by yourself or for a group. My group really didn't do that though, except when certain people were leading. (Just different leadership styles.)
(4) If you are a working man who doesn't have time for more than a quick devotional read at the beginning of the day, and would like some daily help before you head out the door. This would probably be great for you.
For the author's intended audience, I think this book may very well help. It also may help newer Christian men or shallow Christian men who have trouble expressing their thoughts or their feelings. (But, in both cases I'm skeptical that someone like that is going to be on Goodreads reading this review in the first place. If anything, it's far more likely to be a concerned family member or spouse reading this review. ...and they're probably trying to get that man to "shape up" in some way through a self-help book like this and just want to know if the book will help. To such a person say, you can try, but a "manly man" like that is probably not going to read this book unless it was his idea all along. Especially if he thinks he's doing just fine already. You and I both know he probably isn't, but you're going to have to wait for God to knock some sense into someone like that first. Usually it takes a metaphorical freight train. And even then this book is "just ok" for that, if you ask me.)
However, for someone not in one of those categories, I don't think I recommend the book. The rest this review will be about why I think that, and then at the end I'll list some other resources that helped me out more than this book.
My take on the author is that he is not a detail person. He's stereotypical American to a fault and thinks all men are like him: natural leaders, simple, direct, like hunting, like sports, have more ego than is healthy, don't read the directions, get bored easily, are lazy, like risk, like charging off after a problem, like clear black-and-white answers to everything, prideful, avoid dealing with problems, don't get relationships, like meat and taters, ...and you're probably getting the picture by now. I know the type, but I'm not ...most of that, so that was a barrier to me both in being able to relate to the author and being able to do anything with the advice being given.
I would say the author has written this for about one fourth of the stereotypical male population in America. Still, that's not to say people who don't fit the traditional 1950's Christian man can't get something out of it. (A bit of a side note: Possibly less than that amount because the impression I have is that for millennials, gen X, and gen Z, society has relentlessly made so much effort to convince us that (a) natural masculine traits are somehow bad, (b) there is somehow no difference of any kind between male and female, biological or otherwise, and (c) being androgynous or getting a sex change is somehow the way to go. Anyway.)
In addition, the book also comes across as pretty glib in parts to me. For example, the author tells a lot of short stories to set up his points. Usually he gets details about the setting or similar wrong in his story. (Such as a story about wolves being reintroduced to Yellowstone.) Another is a rambling defense of infamous pastor Mark Driscoll (seems to have been written before Driscoll's megachurch imploded after Driscoll was forced to step down.) The factual looseness really bothered some people in the group but was not an issue for me, because the point, what matters, the takeaway was the reason for his story. And usually that was fine, if sometimes trite. But if minor inconsistencies like that bother you, be aware.
My biggest issue with the book is that the author is good at pointing out problems pretty much all Christian men face today, but his solutions were unhelpful and vague. For example, the first third or so of the book keeps hammering home the point that (paraphrased) "we need clarity", "Biblical men need clarity," and so on. My group did eventually run into a sentence or two later where he mentioned what he meant by "clarity", but my group was never really sure what he meant by that, even after we found that. So, after going through the whole book none of us have "clarity", at least not this book's brand.
Similarly, MacDonald correctly identifies that lust, sexual problems, and an inability to relate with women deeply are the hot-button issue the majority of Christian men are failing at today in America. No surprise there. But, MacDonald doesn't really seem to know how to solve it, especially the lust and sex problem. He talks about it at great length and cites a lot of verses if you want to try your luck, but after the study I felt stuck in the same places I've always been stuck. I will say he does have a few minor practical tips, not really Biblical, just a few personal rules he has like never riding alone in a car with a woman he's not related to and putting his wife in charge of all his electronic passwords. They could be helpful. But he doesn't explain how he can keep those rules. It's "just do it" I guess. Which for most Christian men is the whole part that doesn't work. So yeah.
By way of closing, most of the time, the most blue collar guy in our group was bored out of his mind by the book and all of our discussions of the questions. In fairness, one chapter did hit him pretty hard. So, that's the guy who I think this book is for, and he was 1 or 2 out of 40. Swing and a miss. The rest of my group were a baby boomer manager/former developer with kids in college, a gen X businessman/manager, a couple software developers fresh out of college, an unhappy engineer who had only been out of college for a couple years, and me, who kind of has one foot in the arts world, one foot in software developer, one hand in sports, the other hand in video games, and head full of too much theology. We were pretty much all easygoing introverts who tried the best we could to get something out of the book. I would say it was more misses than hits. Our best discussions would be started by the questions and then, fortunately, we had one guy who was good at asking insightful follow-up questions that kept the real talk going. Even more fortunately, he didn't get tired of carrying the load for us.
I would predict that if you're going to get anything useful or inspirational out of the book, it's probably going to be in *spite of* the author, not because of him. But I'm guessing the author would be ok with God using him in spite of his own personal weaknesses, at least. So hopefully that's a no harm, no foul.
Some other resources for Christian men I'd recommend looking into:
- The Men's Fraternity program. It's much more in-depth and requires a lot more commitment (weekly videos/sermons; you'll have to find a local chapter), and it's still got some "meat and taters" man stuff, but it's got a lot more to offer.
- xxxChurch. If you have porn issues or other marriage/sex issues, this is almost the only place. Also check out Shellie R. Warren's blog series on xxxChurch called "Weak in the Knees" that goes through every couple in the Bible. It was far more helpful to me, anyway.
- Paul Washer's sermons on Youtube about Biblical manhood. Be warned they will hit you like a truck. But don't take them in a legalistic way and they will be good medicine.
- Mark Gungor's relationship comedy videos on Youtube.
- Rich Mullins' interviews on Youtube
- Jordan B Peterson's lectures on youtube (not a Christian, but understands original sin), particularly anything about personal responsibility or suffering.
- Any sort of serious study on the life of David would probably also do the trick, like the 1 and 2 Samuel Life Change group Bible study book from Navpress.
- Tim Keller sermons
- Matt Chandler sermons
- T.D. Jakes sermons