Pearls Falls Fast: A Pearls Before Swine Treasury

Pearls Before Swine #13-14

by Stephan Pastis

Enjoy a new treasury of New York Times Best-Selling Pearls Before Swine.

In this treasury collection of Unsportsmanlike Conduct and Rat's Wars, the eclectic Pearls Before Swine cast play out their their respective roles. Rat is the arrogant know-it-all, taking constant advantage of the naive and simple Pig, with wise and pedantic Goat looking on in detached disapproval. The incredibly inept Crocs still hold hopes of eating their Zeeba neighbors. Throw in cameo appearances by Guard Duck and Snuffles the Cat and you get the full tableau of Pearls comedy.

Stephan's personal annotations lend insight and more humor to this Pearls Before Swine rendtion.

Genres: Humor, Comics, Comic Strips, Graphic Novels, Cartoon, Fiction, Graphic Novels Comics

255 pages, Paperback

First published March 25, 2014

About the author

Stephan Pastis was born in 1968 and raised in San Marino, California, a suburb of Los Angeles. He graduated from the University of California at Berkeley in 1989 with a degree in political science. Although he had always wanted to be a syndicated cartoonist, Pastis realized that the odds of syndication were slim, so he entered UCLA Law School in 1990 and became an attorney instead. He practiced law in the San Francisco Bay area from 1993 to 2002. While an attorney, he began submitting various comic strip concepts to all of the syndicates, and, like virtually all beginning cartoonists, got his fair share of rejection slips. Then, in 1997, he began drawing Pearls Before Swine, which he submitted to the syndicates in mid-1999. In December, 1999, he signed a contract with United.
Pearls Before Swine debuted in newspapers in January, 2002, and Pastis left his law practice in August of that year. Pearls Before Swine was nominated in 2003, 2004 and 2007 as "Best Newspaper Comic Strip" by the National Cartoonists Society (NCS) and won the award in 2004 and 2007. Pastis lives with his family in Northern California.

Reviews

[Deborah Markus · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you don't already love the daily comic "Pearls Before Swine," here's some dialogue from my two favorite strips in this collection. (Actually, here they are whether you like "Pearls" or not, but you know what I mean. I'm trying to lure you to the dark side, is what I mean.)

First awesome strip (which falls on page 29, for the OCD members of the reading public):

Rat: You enter this world alone. You leave this world alone.

Pig: But in between, WE'VE GOT DONUTS!!

"Mmmmmmmm...existence goooooood," Pig concludes (correctly) in the last panel. Rat, equally accurately, concludes, "In between, we've got morons." I think the fact that I bounce back and forth between Rat's pure cynicism and Pig's willingness to be soothed by baked goods is a big part of why I love this strip so much.

Here's the other reason: Stephan Pastis understands me, to the point where he may be bugging my house. Evidence? This strip:

Goat: Well, guys, I'm off. Today is my family's annual potato sack race. It's sort of a tradition.

Pig: What's "tradition"?

Rat: Tradition is the reason for doing something you can no longer think of a reason for doing.

Goat: I hate it when I agree with you.

Pig (looking stunned): So that's why we still see our annoying family.

Thanks to Stephan Pastis, I no longer have to apologize for my loathing of "tradition." I mean, if something's fun or cool or just plain awesome, you don't need to mention tradition to explain why you're doing it. You just do it, because it's fun, cool, etc. Whereas if you have to cite tradition, you're probably about to go consume canned fruit in Jell-O salad with people you'd never spend four seconds with if it were up to you.

Read this book. Is funny. You need funny.

And thank you for reading this review.

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this because my son likes Pearls Before Swine. I think in the future I'll leave it to him!

In a way, this strip/collection will always hold a special place in my heart. I'll tell you why. When I first started reading it, my son and I were talking about the characters: Rat is arrogant, selfish, and violent, Pig is goodhearted but stupid, the crocodiles are also stupid and always trying to kill the zebra, etc. I hadn't yet gotten a bead on Goat so I asked my son about him. He said, "Well, he's kind of like you." Hmm. OK. As I read further, I realized that Goat's role in the strip is to be the pedantic know-it-all. Hahahahahahaha! I can't deny that to some extent, that is my role in our household! :-D On the other hand, it would have been worse if he'd said I was like Rat or Pig. Goat is one of about two characters (out of 10 or so) who are functioning adults.

[Jason Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pure brilliance. Absolutely outstanding.
best quote
Goat: Do you ever met a person and know immediately you're not gonna like them?
Rat: Oh sure.
Goat: Yeah... What is it about certain people that tells you that?
Rat: They're breathing.
Goat: Maybe you're the wrong guy to ask.
Rat: And they all seem to have mouths.

Do yourself a favor and read the whole collection.

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this comic. It's what I learned to read from. But it's also pretty controversial, due to a strip presenting a character 'Jeff the Cyclist' as an arrogant, conceited, judgmental biker. The controversy came in because 'Rat', one of the main characters in the strip, said 'And this is why I always try to run them (them being cyclists) over.' after one of Jeff's judgmental monologues. It was taken as an encouragement of violence towards cyclists.
I think that this was an instance of rather misdirected rage, as the entire point of Rat's character is to be the absolute worst in people. He's that tiny voice in your head saying the worst, encouraging people to hurt and destroy. This is why I don't think the cartoonist, Stephen Pastis, should have received the hatred he did. He deliberately paints Rat as representation of what not to do. If Rat says something, it's consistently Pastis encouraging people to not be this awful and do the opposite. This particular strip is making fun of Jeff and Rat simultaneously.

[Laurla2 · Rating 5 out of 5]

- 5 stars. i love pearls before swine.
contains unsportsmanlike conduct # 13, and rats wars # 14.

a couple of my favorites:

i can relate to this. i quit trying so very extra hard in high school, ratcheted the schoolwork effort back, and spent more time with friends and my boyfriend. gave up on my parents quest for perfect. still graduated just fine, and when i finally decided to give college a try because my job offered tuition reimbursement, the community college thought my grades were just fine.


this is how i feel if people i'm with pull out their phones around me, that they don't really want to be around me.

[Colin Murtagh · Rating 5 out of 5]

in a bit of a reading slump, so I went back to one of my great loves. While I don't think you could ever call Pearls great art, the one thing it does have, is a great heart. There is something about this strip, from the silly, to the surreal, taking in terrible puns, and the occasional heart-warming strip, everything is here. While I would love to think of myself as Pig at heart, the open, kind loving little Pig, in reality I'm probably more of a Rat. Reading this though, I'm not so sure that's a bad thing. The characters are that real, you go through everything with them. In his own way, he's as good as Watterson, and that's the highest praise I can give.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not his best collection, but still a solid strip.

[Cookies are awesome · Rating 5 out of 5]

PBS

This book is so awesome ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !! ! !

[Hugh Coverly · Rating 5 out of 5]

How can one not enjoy the puns and adventures of a Rat, a Pig, a Goat, and zany group of cohorts that include a Zebra, a family of Crocs, a Guard Duck, and a girlfriend named Pigita?

[Gino P Mecoli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jkk

A a e e t y I I o n b c j s as c c f d e s s s d f

[Elise · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s Pearls. It’s always good. Loved it in 2006. Love it now.

[Vinay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great treasury

Pearls is my favorite comic—one of the first ones I read everyday. This treasury has classics and duds. But the commentary by Pastis makes it great!

[The_J · Rating 4 out of 5]

The joy isn't just in the strips, but in the running commentary, which give context, color, and a more complete complexity.

[R.K. Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny comic.

[Sabrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this comic so much, and some of the commentary was funnier than the strips. My old-fashioned grandma self knocked a bit off the rating because the “language” (&$$!) is off-putting to me.

[Amber Ray · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good clean snarky fun.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have no idea how many times I've read this. Pearls Before Swine treasuries are my bedtime reading.

[Chris Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

Favourite quotes:

"I call myself 'Disturbo, the clown you don't hire twice.'" - p. 103

"Those are speed bumps. They're there to slow you down."
"Then why call 'em speed bumps?"
"Perhaps Goat's thinking of slow bumps." - p. 113

"Pig do you know that the odds of winning the lottery are worse than the odds of you getting attacked by a black bear and a polar bear on the same day?"
"Whoa. Then I am not gonna waste this on a lottery ticket."
"Good for you, Pig."
"I'm gonna spend it on a rifle." - p. 118

"It's not you. It's your valence electrons." - p. 122

"'@##@$%' means 'lovable'. I just use the squiggles because I'm embarrassed to use the 'L' word." - p. 126

"I'm going to make them a Hoffa they can't re-fuse." - p. 141

"Hi. I'd like to order one B.L.T. and a reuben sandwich for my friend...Oh, you're out of reubens? So my friend can't get one? No reubens at all? Never? Never ever? What's that you say? Not even if hell freezes over? Not even if winged ponies fly from my rear end will my good friend Stephan Pastis ever ever ever get a @$#@ reuben?" - p. 164

"In the race for greatness, humility is but a booby prize." - p. 209

"For the record, I actually think The Family Circus mom looks hot. Too bad she's weighed down by all those annoying children." - p. 215

"Hi, Mom...it's me Pig...I'm tired of you controlling my life, so I'm gonna go outside and declare my independence from you in a voice the whole world can hear..........she said to put on a jacket." - p. 230

"Have you seen all those electronic signs the city puts by the side of the road telling you the speed you're driving?"
"Yeah. They're to make you slow down."
"Oh."
"'Oh' what?"
"I keep trying to set a speed record." - p. 242 (which finally explains the behaviour of drivers on my street...)

[Robert Garrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

This “treasury” incorporates strips previously collected in two smaller books: UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT and RAT’S WARS (The strips themselves ran in newspapers between February 2011 and September 2012.). As with all PEARLS treasuries, it's cheaper to buy PFF than to buy the two other books separately, and the treasury includes additional commentary by creator Stephan Pastis.

I enjoy much of Pastis’ commentary, but…I’m also beginning to feel that I know too much about the guy. He talks about his wife and children, his drawing habits, his childhood and his best friend Emilio, among other topics. The book also concludes with reproductions of his childhood artwork. Are people really clamoring to see Pastis’ childhood artwork? Such people are bigger fans than me, it would seem. If that’s not enough Pastis for you, then the man also maintains a blog (I don’t read it.).

We are well into the internet age, where comic strips – and comic strip creators – can be more interactive than ever before. It’s an environment in which Pastis seems to thrive, and in many ways, he’s much a part of his strip as his characters.

In fact, he literally IS a part of the strip…in a sense. PEARLS often breaks the fourth wall, and Pastis occasionally depicts a cartoon version of himself interacting with his characters. The characters insult him and complain about his writing, and yet, they mouth the words that he writes. Cartoon Pastis orchestrates the strip but is also abused by his characters. Does that make sense? Does it matter?

Pastis (the real one) breaks the fourth wall in other – sometimes positively giddy – ways. Characters walk up the sides of the panels, reference the daily crossword puzzle and hear hecklers from the audience. Characters from other comics even visit the strip (Presumably, these "visits" could be deemed parody, making them legally acceptable.), and in some cases, Pastis has even arranged tangential “crossovers,” in which the visiting character’s strip references the encounter on the same day. Even without the internet, then, Pastis is encouraging interaction and involving readers – not just with his strip, but with the whole comics page.

Mind you, none of this would matter if PEARLS weren’t funny, and happily, it is. PEARLS FALLS FAST includes the usual mix of cartoon hijinks, puns and parody.

Among the book's storylines:

*Larry the Crocodile becomes Vice President of a kids’ clubhouse.

*Rat advocates revolution, resulting in the government arresting Stephan Pastis and ordering PEARLS to become a “wholesome family strip.”

*Zebra builds a wall around his house to keep out the crocs.

*Rat gets a government job as a “banjo fatality statistician.”

*In a nod to the Occupy Wall Street movement, Rat occupies Sesame Street.

*The crocodiles attempt a “GODFATHER-type hit" on Zebra in a restaurant.

I laughed quite often. I still don’t want to know more about Stephan Pastis’ personal life, but I’ll happily keep buying these treasuries.

[Dominick Cancilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

For me, the Pearls Before Swine treasuries are a little like the Bible. I'm happy to shell out good money for another copy of something I already have if there new annotations. The similarities to scripture pretty much stop there, though.

My particular joy with reading the author's notes in the Pearls treasuries is seeing which strips generate the most complaints and/or hate mail. Really, there should be a sociology class built around this stuff. Apparently, some groups are only innocuous and easy going until you write a comic strip that they see as insulting (I'm looking at you, polka fans).

My only disappointment with the book is the cover. The author is depicted riding on a roller coaster and the photo practically begs the viewer to ask, "Stephen, what the heck are you doing with your arms?" Really, that's just not a natural pose. I'm guessing that there was an original cover concept that involved him holding something, but that they gave up on it and were too close to the deadline (or too cheap) to re-do the photo shoot.

Other than that, good job.

[Popzara Press · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pearls Falls Fast: A Pearls Before Swine Treasury is either a shockingly crass move by one of the cartoon world’s biggest egos or an astonishing money-saving bundle of joy by a charitable soul. Either way, you’ll get every single comic strip, dailies and Sundays, that already appeared in the Unsportsmanlike Conduct and Rat’s Wars collections. Which means its hilarious, and the extra commentaries only reaffirm that Stephan Pastis either has too much time on his hands, or is the luckiest cartoonist out there.

Pearls Falls Fast: A Pearls Before Swine Treasury Review on Popzara

[Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

i had checked this out from our local library and then we ended up moving right in the middle of reading this book. When we got to our new place I lost the book temporarily, driving me batty until I had an epiphany and found the book. Pearls really is a great comic and with this book Pastis lets us into his twisted world with some commentary on the strips themselves. This is an idea I have seen other cartoonists do and I like to see what they have to say about their own work. For Pearls fans this would be a definite must read book filled with the usual funny and zany antics of some great characters.

[LauraW · Rating 4 out of 5]

Several years ago, I was discussing comics with my younger daughter and she mentioned that Pearls Before Swine was one of her favorites. Though I enjoy and collect comics, I had followed this strip only briefly. Several of the themes annoyed me and I figured it really wasn't my style. But she has good taste, so I tried it again and discovered that I actually like the sarcastic style. There are some themes and some individual strips that I still don't care for, but there are enough that REALLY hit the mark for me that make it completely worth the while.

She is Rat. I am Goat.

[Corey Thibodeaux · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally finished. Had to take a backseat with this year's reading initiative.

This edition has perhaps my favorite storyline (Croc gets on Jeopardy) and a number of controversial strips. You know what to expect by treasury 7.

Also, fellow Kansas City natives, the rollercoaster on the cover? That's the Mamba.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this comic strip. I'm very sorry I moved to a town that doesn't have it in the newspaper. This book was definitely worth the paper it's printed on. (P.S. I bought it as an e-book. I do not recommend this unless your e-reader has a very large screen.)

[Daniel Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This treasury starts off with grenade gophers, and continues with Rat starting a revolution and landing Pastis in prison, the crocs living in a treehouse, the return of Annie May, Zebra building a wall to keep the crocs out, Rat winding up on PBS, and of course terrible, terrible puns.

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

picked up at author's signing in Madison, WI today....got it signed with a picture of RAT!!!

[Ramesh Prabhu · Rating 5 out of 5]

When complaints from the public mean you must be doing something good: http://bit.ly/StephanPastisPearls (The Reading Room)

[Janice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just fun to read another take on the world. And I love the puns.

[Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSooooooooooooooooooo funny!