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Being Miss
Miss, in her 40s, and a teacher in a boys’ school, gets up one morning and realises several things. 1. Her relationship with Johnny Depp is not a strong one, being only in her dreams. 2. Agreeing to give a lecture to top-level Oxbridge-headed sixth formers was a bad idea, especially as there is an Expectation Of Powerpoint. 3.Writing 'If I read any more of this rubbish, I'll top myself' on a boy's essay is not the best way to please your boss.
How will Miss cope with the threat of the sack and the fear of techno-humiliation, as well as with the vomiting Year 12, the boy who wants to be called Arnold, and the Fruit Gum that gets stuck to her shoe while she’s invigilating?
Read Fran Hill’s hilarious account of one day in a teacher’s life. It’s based on real experience. It’s an insight into the classroom you’ll never forget. And, as Miss stumbles through her day, you’ll feel much better about yourself.
How will Miss cope with the threat of the sack and the fear of techno-humiliation, as well as with the vomiting Year 12, the boy who wants to be called Arnold, and the Fruit Gum that gets stuck to her shoe while she’s invigilating?
Read Fran Hill’s hilarious account of one day in a teacher’s life. It’s based on real experience. It’s an insight into the classroom you’ll never forget. And, as Miss stumbles through her day, you’ll feel much better about yourself.
105 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 3, 2012
19 people want to read
About the author
Fran Hill
3 books42 followersHello! I'm an author and retired English teacher and I live in Warwickshire. I have three grown-up children and two grandchildren. My funny teacher-memoir 'Miss, What Does Incomprehensible Mean?', was published by SPCK in 2020 and my novel, called 'Cuckoo in the Nest' came out with Legend Press in April 2023. I love reading books about real people in real-world situations - I am not so keen on science-fiction or fantasy, for instance, but I can be persuaded!
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
November 24, 2014
I found this account brilliantly and sometimes painfully funny. Fran has the classic stance of the comic writer; that self-deprecating humour, that gift for presenting yourself as "no better than you should be".. I feel this short book should be required reading for anyone on a B. Ed. course, so that they might have a true sense of the realities of life as a schoolteacher. Although I don't believe, of course, that any teacher would genuinely encounter all these situations in one day, and it's clear Fran has amalgamated probably several months' worth of experiences in one intense, highly comical day, nevertheless this does give fascinating insights into the life of a schoolteacher. I have a sense that to succeed in this profession you have to be a master of mind-games and psychological tricks; for those unskilled in this, it must be unbelievably stressful! I particularly loved Fran's dialogues with her Scottish colleague in the staffroom, and some of the more picaresque tales in the book, including the moment when you as the reader think, "Oh no, she isn't going to do what I think she's going to do...." and then of course she does do it.
Her account of invigilation was particularly amusing; though I must admit, from my own personal experience of invigilation, I have confined myself to switching my attention to the faces, hairstyles, body-language, clothes and make-up of several students in the room, wondering about what their futures hold for them, and what mistakes they will make in their lives and whether any of them are destined to make the same mistakes that I've done. I have never deliberately set off down an aisle while another invigilator is heading up it in my direction, with the intention of sweeping a student's exam paper and stationery off onto the floor. However, having read Fran's anecdotes, I'm willing to suspend my disbelief that she has actually done the things she describes! (Or maybe there is some use of poetic licence here).
I'd love to see this kind of comic observation within the structure of a well-plotted full-length novel. There's a challenge for Fran, as an English teacher! She may even be able to steal and subtly adjust some of those wonderful Gothic ideas presented by her brilliant pupils in their essays for her...
Her account of invigilation was particularly amusing; though I must admit, from my own personal experience of invigilation, I have confined myself to switching my attention to the faces, hairstyles, body-language, clothes and make-up of several students in the room, wondering about what their futures hold for them, and what mistakes they will make in their lives and whether any of them are destined to make the same mistakes that I've done. I have never deliberately set off down an aisle while another invigilator is heading up it in my direction, with the intention of sweeping a student's exam paper and stationery off onto the floor. However, having read Fran's anecdotes, I'm willing to suspend my disbelief that she has actually done the things she describes! (Or maybe there is some use of poetic licence here).
I'd love to see this kind of comic observation within the structure of a well-plotted full-length novel. There's a challenge for Fran, as an English teacher! She may even be able to steal and subtly adjust some of those wonderful Gothic ideas presented by her brilliant pupils in their essays for her...
September 25, 2013
Having read some of Fran Hill's blogs online along with her witty posts on Facebook, I decided to take a leap of faith and spend the grand sum of £1.97 to download Fran's book.
Fran is a super writer. She has an excellent command of the English Language and never once did I feel that I was listening to someone who delights in talking about trigonometry, Bunsen burners and Henry the VIII (all in the same lesson!)
I identified with so much of the content. It's truthful and very funny, flowing well in the day of the life of a teacher. Not only is it a great tonic to laugh about the education system that makes me cringe and despair (later leading to fits, coma and sudden death), but the humour is so well placed within the day, you can really see Fran's 'slightly bonkers' perspective.
Chapter 3 was my favourite. The description of the Head teacher is not only painfully accurate and 'close to home', but the way Fran deals with him as a writer left me feeling that as the reader, we can get 'one over' those who cause us so much grief, by simply laughing at them!
Laughter is the best medicine, so Fran, get writing some more! I want to read another comedy novel from you :-)
Fran is a super writer. She has an excellent command of the English Language and never once did I feel that I was listening to someone who delights in talking about trigonometry, Bunsen burners and Henry the VIII (all in the same lesson!)
I identified with so much of the content. It's truthful and very funny, flowing well in the day of the life of a teacher. Not only is it a great tonic to laugh about the education system that makes me cringe and despair (later leading to fits, coma and sudden death), but the humour is so well placed within the day, you can really see Fran's 'slightly bonkers' perspective.
Chapter 3 was my favourite. The description of the Head teacher is not only painfully accurate and 'close to home', but the way Fran deals with him as a writer left me feeling that as the reader, we can get 'one over' those who cause us so much grief, by simply laughing at them!
Laughter is the best medicine, so Fran, get writing some more! I want to read another comedy novel from you :-)
January 27, 2016
This is a very funny book. Which is a recommendation in itself, since I've not come across many books that fit that description. However, it's not just funny, it's insightful. It's about one day in a teacher's life - the highs, the lows, the hopes, the fears, the characters, the colleagues, the stale biscuits. But beneath that it's about why a teacher teaches. It's about why somebody can do job that constantly challenges them, often frustrates them and sometimes terrifies them - yet still love it totally. And also be very good at it. I learned a bit about teaching from this book - but I've learned a lot more about teachers!
September 25, 2013
Excellent book!!!!
A very good look into the life of a slightly nuts teacher. With all the neurosis that comes with being in education. Putting the day of a teacher into such elegant and funny words. The situations are real, the humor is real and the characters have depth.
I read this book in three hours which just shows how easy a read this book is, so much story crammed in and you don't notice it until the end when you wish there was a whole weeks worth of lessons.
More please!!!
A very good look into the life of a slightly nuts teacher. With all the neurosis that comes with being in education. Putting the day of a teacher into such elegant and funny words. The situations are real, the humor is real and the characters have depth.
I read this book in three hours which just shows how easy a read this book is, so much story crammed in and you don't notice it until the end when you wish there was a whole weeks worth of lessons.
More please!!!
August 14, 2016
This book is great. A day in the life of a Secondary School English teacher, it is told with warmth, wit and self-deprecating humour. There are laugh out loud moments, and the author's mixture of exasperation with, and affection for, her students is brilliantly portrayed. I'd never really thought about what school is like from the teacher's point of view, but now I know. Well done, Fran. Keep writing, and we look forward to many more like this.
September 26, 2013
Brilliant book, read it in less than a day and it had me in stitches. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at some of it. As someone who works in school's so much is true. Definitely recommend if you need a good cheer up.
October 5, 2013
Have been meaning to read Fran's book for a long time - I was missing a treat. An excellent picture of school life that had me laughing out loud in places.
July 23, 2014
An absolute tonic for any hard pressed teacher.
May 31, 2020
A fantastically funny and moving read. Highly recommend. (Even if like me it was a long time ago you were at school!).
May 11, 2022
Having recently read Ms. Hill’s later and highly entertaining book about her life as a Secondary School English Teacher, ‘Miss, What Does Incomprehensible Mean?’ and thoroughly enjoyed it, I approached this earlier work on the same subject with high expectations: I was certainly not disappointed; I was in fits of laughter from Page 1.
Whereas her second book describes in diary form a whole year in school, ‘Being Miss’, a smaller volume, covers just one day; but what a day! Each school period has a dedicated chapter, as does breaktimes, lunch, getting to school and after school. During the day we meet various pupils, from the bright (such as Stephen, prone to overwork), to the bright-but-devious (eg. Pete, a great actor), to the not-so-bright (Giles) to the mildly revolting (Sebastian, fixated with his nose!). And we also meet some colleagues; I particularly like the dour but sympathetic Jack, but the Spiky Maths Woman seems one to avoid! We are introduced to the joys, and perils, of exam invigilation, and how to give an after-school talk to Oxbridge candidates, effectively.
Along with its companion this book is hilarious from start to finish; I haven’t laughed-out-loud so much for ages, and rarely so often in one book. Again as with the later book, there is a serious undercurrent (too much work in too short a time, barely workable policies) hinted at beneath the humour throughout.
I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this thoroughly enjoyable and deeply perceptive book to anyone and everyone, particularly fellow school-teachers to whom it should be required reading. I am going to read ‘Being Miss’ again very soon; I am starting to chuckle already!
Whereas her second book describes in diary form a whole year in school, ‘Being Miss’, a smaller volume, covers just one day; but what a day! Each school period has a dedicated chapter, as does breaktimes, lunch, getting to school and after school. During the day we meet various pupils, from the bright (such as Stephen, prone to overwork), to the bright-but-devious (eg. Pete, a great actor), to the not-so-bright (Giles) to the mildly revolting (Sebastian, fixated with his nose!). And we also meet some colleagues; I particularly like the dour but sympathetic Jack, but the Spiky Maths Woman seems one to avoid! We are introduced to the joys, and perils, of exam invigilation, and how to give an after-school talk to Oxbridge candidates, effectively.
Along with its companion this book is hilarious from start to finish; I haven’t laughed-out-loud so much for ages, and rarely so often in one book. Again as with the later book, there is a serious undercurrent (too much work in too short a time, barely workable policies) hinted at beneath the humour throughout.
I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this thoroughly enjoyable and deeply perceptive book to anyone and everyone, particularly fellow school-teachers to whom it should be required reading. I am going to read ‘Being Miss’ again very soon; I am starting to chuckle already!
May 26, 2022
A wonderfully funny book which I devoured over two days of my holiday.
You know it's good when you don't want it to end, right? I loved Fran Hill's tongue-in-cheek yet searingly honest style of relating a single day of teaching at a private/independent boy's secondary school. I felt as though I'd met some of these characters in real life. The banter between the boys was reminiscent of many an encounter with adolescents; their cheekiness, their anxieties and their tribalism are all communicated with veracity. Meanwhile, in the staffroom, the realities, stresses and strains of teaching are evident without bogging us down in politics, curriculum issues and/or policies.
The sheer humanity and foibles of each individual is evident and Fran's deprecating portrayal of herself is endearing. This reader felt almost as exhausted as the author by the end of the book – the end of the teaching day – and would very much have appreciated, as she did, collapsing on the sofa with a glass of wine and trying to forget she'd have to do it all again tomorrow.
You know it's good when you don't want it to end, right? I loved Fran Hill's tongue-in-cheek yet searingly honest style of relating a single day of teaching at a private/independent boy's secondary school. I felt as though I'd met some of these characters in real life. The banter between the boys was reminiscent of many an encounter with adolescents; their cheekiness, their anxieties and their tribalism are all communicated with veracity. Meanwhile, in the staffroom, the realities, stresses and strains of teaching are evident without bogging us down in politics, curriculum issues and/or policies.
The sheer humanity and foibles of each individual is evident and Fran's deprecating portrayal of herself is endearing. This reader felt almost as exhausted as the author by the end of the book – the end of the teaching day – and would very much have appreciated, as she did, collapsing on the sofa with a glass of wine and trying to forget she'd have to do it all again tomorrow.
November 6, 2019
Although I am not a teacher, in any way, shape or form, I enjoyed this insight into what it's like to be a teacher for one day of the life of Miss.
July 4, 2020
A quick and rather funny read about a working day in the life of a teacher. Some of the observations certainly ring true.
January 14, 2014
It's not just funny, it’s insightful. It’s about one day in a teacher’s life – the highs, the lows, the hopes, the fears, the characters, the colleagues, the stale biscuits. But beneath that it’s about why a teacher teaches. It’s about why somebody can do job that constantly challenges them, often frustrates them and sometimes terrifies them – yet still love it totally. And also be very good at it.
July 2, 2015
This was an amusing account of a day in the life of an English teacher at a boys independent school. It is only novella size and an easy read, however, I did find the humour a little laboured at times as each circumstance was compared to some other illustration from everyday life. On the whole worth a read.
January 25, 2016
Really great short read. A day in the life of a busy teacher. Had me laughing and believing every moment. It was great with realistic scenarios that I could relate to from being at school, but from a different perspective. Would happily have paid money to read this, but I actually read it as a free Amazon kindle download. Will definitely read more of this author's works!
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews