It appears that instead of actually WRITING the latest Superman comic, author George Perez was instead creating an elaborate machine that turns FARTS into PROSE. I can only assume that’s the case here, for how else could one produce such turgid nonsense as I experienced as part of this generic display of empty spectacle?
Two examples of George’s word wizardry to fill you up with nauseous delight:
“…its alien language was a Tower of Babel of incomprehensibility.”
“…the conflagration continued to rage unabated.”
And yes, both of these lines appear ON THE SAME PAGE.
This is rubbish. Even worse is how boring and generic the storyline is. Superman beats up a bad guy! The bad guy teases something about Krypton… but what could it all mean?! Oh wait… Superman has to bash up someone else! No wait, he’s getting bashed up! For half the issue! Again!
Even WORSE is how the comic focuses on developing everyone else BUT Superman. What do we get? Superman is lonely. Clark is cut off. And…? And…? Is that it, Perez? Seriously? Wow. Did you strain yourself building that whole one dimension to the character? Don’t worry, it only says Superman in the title, you F*%^!!!!
And the art. Oh, poor Jesus Merino. There’s not much a guy can do when Perez has saddled him with the unenviable task of FOURTEEN PANELS ON A PAGE. Seriously, how is the guy supposed to tell a visual story when each panel is crammed with boxes of that turgid word-faeces, flat dialogue, and detailed descriptions of the action? You know, for an artist himself, you’d think Perez would know enough to put trust in the art. But no. Merino is hamstrung, and can do nothing to save this work. (There are 204 panels in 25 pages in the first issue alone. Yuh, I know.)
And yes, I’m aware that Perez had a terrible experience writing this – it would be hard not to with his whining to the press that the editors interfered with his work, and he didn’t even know there was another Superman title being written (if someone can explain how this is possible, that would be great). Well… I must say that the editors DO deserve scorn, but I would suggest it’s for NOT INTERFERING ENOUGH, in the largest part. It’s piss pathetic when an editor lets 14 panels a page ruin the visual experience. It’s unprofessional crap when an editor can’t elevate the writer past the god-awful fart-prose mentioned above. It’s disgusting how… ah, I could go on all day.
This is a career low for everyone involved, and a dark time for Superman fans everywhere. How much more bad writing do we have to endure from these hacks? It seems only big names like Geoff Johns and JMS and Brian Azzarello can bring anything to the table these days, with stories that—heaven forbid!—are actually ABOUT Superman (and that are well formed and told, at that!). I’d include Morrison among that group for his stunning work on All Star Superman, but he disqualifies himself for preaching “taking Superman back to his roots” with the New 52 reboot, before unleashing on us 4 issues later “the Mothermatician”, time-travelling super squads and increasingly ridiculous flights of fancy that remove Superman from the sphere of social crusader to just being another punching bag for brawny, pointless aliens. It’s deeply sad.
But possibly the saddest fact is that Superman really did need a refresh with the New 52, and there was a golden opportunity here to start something special. But even gifted all the freedom of being released from continuity, this is apparently the best they could come up with? It’s pathetic. No character development worth mentioning, nothing new or interesting, nothing special. I would call it milquetoast if it wasn’t so offensively bad. An opportunity has been squandered.
Let’s hope Scott Snyder and Jim Lee will save the Man of Steel from a fate worse than mediocrity, and that George Perez never writes Superman again.