What do you think?
Rate this book
The Sacred Diaries
The Horizontal Epistles Of Andromeda Veal
Readers of The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass will recall the 'small but powerful' figure of Andromeda Veal. Andromeda has broken her femur while trying to 'eat muesli and roller skate at the same time'. Deserted by her separated parents, she lies in a hospital bed feeling very lonely. Anne Plass mobilises the whole church into writing letters. Among the old friends who put pen to paper are Gerald Plass, the enigmatic Leonard Thynn, Charles Cook (from Deep Joy Bible School), Adrian himself and even the dreaded Mrs Flushpool. Andromeda not only replies to these letters, but writes to the famous - among them Cliff Richard - with stern, if badly spelled, advice. Then, with the urging of Father John, Andromeda decides that her family problems will only be solved if she goes right to the top. She writes to God ...
Paperback
First published January 1, 1988
2 people are currently reading
72 people want to read
About the author
Adrian Plass
137 books104 followersAdrian Plass is a writer and speaker who has produced over thirty books in the last twenty years. The best known of these is probably The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass, a gentle satire on the modern church, which has sold hundreds of thousands of copies worldwide. This and other books have travelled to other countries and are translated into a number of foreign languages. Other books include biography, novels, short stories, a fictionalised account of the author's experiences as a residential child care worker, and collections of poems and sketches. A bemused Anglican, Adrian lives with his wife and daughter in a small market town near the Sussex South Downs.
Adrian has been in demand as a speaker in venues as varied as prisons, schools, churches, festivals, literary dinners and theatrical settings. His work also includes contribution to national and local radio and television. Live presentations combine humour, poetry, and story telling, largely revolving around his own inadequacies and struggles as a Christian and a human being.
In recent years Adrian has been joined by his wife Bridget in presenting a more varied and dramatic style of performance. Adrian and Bridget met at the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School and have found particular satisfaction in being allowed to ‘do a bit of acting’. They have also been privileged to work alongside World Vision on several occasions, visiting Bangladesh and Zambia, writing two books and touring both in the UK and abroad with the aim of encouraging people to take up child sponsorship
Their work now takes them as far away as Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Africa, while trips to Europe have introduced the added dimension of speaking through interpreters. Not easy when you're trying to be funny!
Adrian's latest books include ‘Jesus Safe Tender and Extreme‘, published by Zondervan, ‘Blind Spots in the Bible’, published by BRF, and most recent of all ‘Bacon Sandwiches and Salvation’ published by Authentic Media. He and Bridget have also collaborated with friends in Canada to produce a CD of his favourite sketches from the last 20 years called ‘Preaching to the Converted’ while ‘A Touch of Plass’, CTA’s documentary video, is now out on DVD.
2008 began with a visit to Bolivia for Bridget and Adrian in collaboration with the charity Toybox to look at projects involving street children. Later on there will be a DVD, a book and a number of presentations promoting their work.
Adrian's central motivation continues to be his love for Jesus, although some may feel he expresses it rather eccentrically. His passion is to communicate the need for reality in faith, and a truth that he learned during a difficult stage in his life: "God is nice and he likes me..." Some have described his work as being ‘one long confessional’. They may well be right!
Adrian has been in demand as a speaker in venues as varied as prisons, schools, churches, festivals, literary dinners and theatrical settings. His work also includes contribution to national and local radio and television. Live presentations combine humour, poetry, and story telling, largely revolving around his own inadequacies and struggles as a Christian and a human being.
In recent years Adrian has been joined by his wife Bridget in presenting a more varied and dramatic style of performance. Adrian and Bridget met at the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School and have found particular satisfaction in being allowed to ‘do a bit of acting’. They have also been privileged to work alongside World Vision on several occasions, visiting Bangladesh and Zambia, writing two books and touring both in the UK and abroad with the aim of encouraging people to take up child sponsorship
Their work now takes them as far away as Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Africa, while trips to Europe have introduced the added dimension of speaking through interpreters. Not easy when you're trying to be funny!
Adrian's latest books include ‘Jesus Safe Tender and Extreme‘, published by Zondervan, ‘Blind Spots in the Bible’, published by BRF, and most recent of all ‘Bacon Sandwiches and Salvation’ published by Authentic Media. He and Bridget have also collaborated with friends in Canada to produce a CD of his favourite sketches from the last 20 years called ‘Preaching to the Converted’ while ‘A Touch of Plass’, CTA’s documentary video, is now out on DVD.
2008 began with a visit to Bolivia for Bridget and Adrian in collaboration with the charity Toybox to look at projects involving street children. Later on there will be a DVD, a book and a number of presentations promoting their work.
Adrian's central motivation continues to be his love for Jesus, although some may feel he expresses it rather eccentrically. His passion is to communicate the need for reality in faith, and a truth that he learned during a difficult stage in his life: "God is nice and he likes me..." Some have described his work as being ‘one long confessional’. They may well be right!
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
January 22, 2018
Andromeda's actual epistles got on my nerves quickly - the misspellings were a bit difficult and there were a lot of 80s references that were hard to figure out. However, everybody else's letters and the diary extracts were very funny and it was, overall, still an enjoyable addition to the Sacred Diaries series.
March 22, 2024
This revolves around letters supposedly written and received by eight-year-old Andromeda, in traction in a hospital with a broken femur. It's a kind of sequel to 'The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass age 37 3/4'.
Andromeda’s spelling is erratic, as might be expected of a child her age, and she makes amusing mistakes in words. There’s an underlying story, too: Andromeda’s parents have separated, and neither of them is visiting their daughter. So Adrian and Anne Plass encourage members of their church to write letters to her.
Andromeda also writes letters to world leaders, both political and religious. As the book progresses she grows up a little, and begins to understand the idea of God, although this is quite low key.
It could be read as a standalone book, although a lot of the humour might be lost if a reader had not already met some of the correspondents in the earlier book. More of a problem for readers under the age of about fifty is that many of the politicians and issues were contemporary to the UK in the late 1980s, so some of the humour could be lost entirely.
I enjoyed it very much, however. Four and a half stars, really.
Longer review here: https://suesbookreviews.blogspot.com/...
Andromeda’s spelling is erratic, as might be expected of a child her age, and she makes amusing mistakes in words. There’s an underlying story, too: Andromeda’s parents have separated, and neither of them is visiting their daughter. So Adrian and Anne Plass encourage members of their church to write letters to her.
Andromeda also writes letters to world leaders, both political and religious. As the book progresses she grows up a little, and begins to understand the idea of God, although this is quite low key.
It could be read as a standalone book, although a lot of the humour might be lost if a reader had not already met some of the correspondents in the earlier book. More of a problem for readers under the age of about fifty is that many of the politicians and issues were contemporary to the UK in the late 1980s, so some of the humour could be lost entirely.
I enjoyed it very much, however. Four and a half stars, really.
Longer review here: https://suesbookreviews.blogspot.com/...
November 14, 2021
How do you capture the thoughts of an eight year old? Especially an eight year old who has a unique upbringing and is currently abandoned in hospital with her leg in traction? This series of letters does the trick perfectly. Seeing the world through Andromeda’s eyes as she puts the worldview she has grown up with into words and uses it to colour her current experiences was wonderful: I went from chuckling to having tears in my eyes as I reread this. For a feisty eight year old Andromeda has gone through a lot and you can see her grappling with her past experiences as she ties her current world up in relation to the things that happened in her past. I can’t help but wonder how her teenage self would express herself and just how her life has progressed since this point.
September 12, 2007
This is not as funny as Sacred Diaries the first, but still has some laugh out loud moments, a little more serious then the other ones in my opinion but it is still a gem.
The funniest being the letter Andromeda(who is an attraction) writes to the Pope. Out of the mouths of babes, this is a poignant statement about our disunion as a body of Christ. Adrian Plass writes without stooping to a level of unbelievability he writes as I suppose a 7 year old socialist from England would write.
Well worth the reading.
The funniest being the letter Andromeda(who is an attraction) writes to the Pope. Out of the mouths of babes, this is a poignant statement about our disunion as a body of Christ. Adrian Plass writes without stooping to a level of unbelievability he writes as I suppose a 7 year old socialist from England would write.
Well worth the reading.
October 12, 2015
I would probably have enjoyed this more if I had read The Sacred Diaries first as there are some in-jokes (e.g. "persunell problem" for stereo) and the characters aren't really introduced. However I soon got the hang of who was who, and there are more than enough new jokes to make this a very entertaining book.
One drawback is that it is rather dated to Thatcherite England, and perhaps someone who wasn't around in the 80s wouldn't get some of the political references. But this is really a minor issue.
Can't wait to get more of this series!
One drawback is that it is rather dated to Thatcherite England, and perhaps someone who wasn't around in the 80s wouldn't get some of the political references. But this is really a minor issue.
Can't wait to get more of this series!
April 30, 2012
This was read aloud in a round robin- it is so hard to get the jokes when the reader is laughing and trying to relate the spelling errors. But friggin' hilarious!
January 11, 2017
The Horizontal Epistles is probably the most hilarious of all of Adrian Plass's books.
Father John was amazing, Gerald was as amusing as ever, and Andromeda herself was hilarious
Father John was amazing, Gerald was as amusing as ever, and Andromeda herself was hilarious
December 28, 2020
This is a fun part of the Adrian's Plass Sacred Diary series, a British Christian humour writer, who manages to combine profound reflections about the Christian life with good-hearted goofiness and self-deprecating humour. His first Sacred Diary is one of our favourites in our house, introducing us to the distinctively odd collection of Christians in a small, probably partly fictional charismatic non-denominational church in England. And Andromeda Veel is an excellent addition to the series.
In this book, the title character, Andromeda Veel, age 9, has landed up in hospital with a broken femur. In that condition, she receives and sends a packet of letters to friends at Adrian Plass' church as well various 80s luminaries like Mr. Gorgeous Chops (Gorbachov), Mr. Raygun (Reagan) and Ms. Thatcher (she got that one right). It is full of endearing spelling mistakes and mis-understood words. More importantly, there is a very real spiritual search and compassion which makes this book really quite touching as the adults try to both comfort Andromeda and manage to amuse the rest of us.
There are, of course, as sometimes happen in 80s and 90s books, some circumstances that one would be better not to inquire about (like just what adult has guardianship over Andromeda when she's in hospital- both her parents are incommunicado for much of the book!). But it really is a sweet and really funny book.
In this book, the title character, Andromeda Veel, age 9, has landed up in hospital with a broken femur. In that condition, she receives and sends a packet of letters to friends at Adrian Plass' church as well various 80s luminaries like Mr. Gorgeous Chops (Gorbachov), Mr. Raygun (Reagan) and Ms. Thatcher (she got that one right). It is full of endearing spelling mistakes and mis-understood words. More importantly, there is a very real spiritual search and compassion which makes this book really quite touching as the adults try to both comfort Andromeda and manage to amuse the rest of us.
There are, of course, as sometimes happen in 80s and 90s books, some circumstances that one would be better not to inquire about (like just what adult has guardianship over Andromeda when she's in hospital- both her parents are incommunicado for much of the book!). But it really is a sweet and really funny book.
Read
September 27, 2020this was a funny book
andromeda broke her lemur while trying to eat mewsly and roller skate. While she spends the next several weeks as 'an attraction' in hospital she writes hilarious letters and makes some learnings. The book culminates the day prior to her 9th birthday and the reader feels a lot happier for her
characters: Father John ( a halibut nunc), Gerald, Adrian Plass'es son, and Andromeda's friend, Stenneth Flushpool (church member) Muther ( away at a political rally) Father ( away too) Nurse Roundpool ( she is lovely) and baby George who has very cute little hands and little feet.
Andromeda writes to politicians, singers and her friends. She gets replies.
i found parts of this book very funny. It is dated now and I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone who has contemporary books to read.
andromeda broke her lemur while trying to eat mewsly and roller skate. While she spends the next several weeks as 'an attraction' in hospital she writes hilarious letters and makes some learnings. The book culminates the day prior to her 9th birthday and the reader feels a lot happier for her
characters: Father John ( a halibut nunc), Gerald, Adrian Plass'es son, and Andromeda's friend, Stenneth Flushpool (church member) Muther ( away at a political rally) Father ( away too) Nurse Roundpool ( she is lovely) and baby George who has very cute little hands and little feet.
Andromeda writes to politicians, singers and her friends. She gets replies.
i found parts of this book very funny. It is dated now and I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone who has contemporary books to read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 27, 2022
It's not quite as good as The Sacred Diary that starts the series (and I imagine it could be somewhat confusing to someone who hasn't read that book first and doesn't know who these characters are), but it's always good reading. There aren't many books I reread, but the first three books of this series are good to reread every few years, and knowing what's going to happen doesn't decrease the enjoyment of them.
September 5, 2023
Loved this riff on Adrian Mole back in the day, but with the sparky Andromeda in charge of the diary entires. At the time a relative picked it up and noticing the name wondered if he was any relation. Turns out - yes, discovered this year. And that’s a whole can of worms!
November 7, 2017
That was fun :) Minder dan 't Gewijde dagboek, maar alsnog heel leuk.
June 17, 2022
A great giggle
July 21, 2022
A decent laugh at some Christian points from the perspective of a child.
May 30, 2023
Laugh out loud funny - a great evening read aloud for my wife and me. Perhaps my second favorite Adrian Plass book after Leonard Thynn
October 25, 2023
A quirky book from my youth, enjoyed reading this - loved the 80’s references to Mister Gorgeouschops and President Raygun 🥸
January 22, 2024
Another humorous and thoughtful read. This time from the perspective of an 8 year old:)
July 7, 2024
Out of the mouth of
babes and feminists
hast thou ordained strength.
babes and feminists
hast thou ordained strength.
January 6, 2023
If while reading this book you do not laugh out loud, you are missing a sense of humour. This is a series of letters from a friend of the Plass family who has broken her femur and writes with the fervor, passion and spelling of an eight year old. Plass collected her letters and some of the responses she received and published them in this hilarious collection.
Andromeda has written to the Plass's and some of their friends but she also writes to famous people: Mister Gorgeouschops, her MP, Pope John Paul, Cliff Richard ad many more. The humour and wit surrounding this girl as she recovers from her injury will make you laugh and look at any future convalescence you have with very different eyes.
This little book is picked up in my extended family time and time again, and never fails to bring a laugh and smile.
Andromeda has written to the Plass's and some of their friends but she also writes to famous people: Mister Gorgeouschops, her MP, Pope John Paul, Cliff Richard ad many more. The humour and wit surrounding this girl as she recovers from her injury will make you laugh and look at any future convalescence you have with very different eyes.
This little book is picked up in my extended family time and time again, and never fails to bring a laugh and smile.
June 22, 2025
Best book on prayer that you're ever likely to read. 😄
August 16, 2007
Just re-read this. I have such a soft spot in my heart for this series by Adrian Plass. They're laugh-out-loud funny and touching, even though they are technically, and I write this knowing full well the implications of the phrase, "Christian fiction."
November 8, 2021
Ha, looks like I read this one every 3-4 years. Still good.
June 24, 2015
What a very wonderful book - and read on a very long plane ride.
Read
May 31, 2019Very dated now and like some huge in-joke to which you are not part of. The hand written letters from a supposed eight year old girl in hospital (Andromeda) soon became tedious with the deliberate mistakes. The letters from the so called adults to Andromeda are a bit cringey, sad and age inappropriate. Occasionally amusing. Life has moved on, I prefer Plass's later books.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews