What do you think?
Rate this book
The Last Time I Died
Christian Franco is embracing the despair of divorce, doing nothing to slow the implosion of his career, friendships, and relationships. He camps out at bars to pick fights, finding that getting his ass kicked allows him his only meditative moments, something he explores with sardonic zeal.
Nine years of his childhood are entirely repressed, a consequence of his father killing his mother when Christian was eight. But as Christian is beaten to death in a bar brawl, his life flashes before his eyes and a long repressed memory resurfaces: the stoop of his childhood home, his father in the back of a cop car, and his mother being wheeled away on a gurney. Christian is resuscitated and comes alive with driving purpose. He must know more.
What follows is Christian’s increasingly desperate attempts to kill himself, be revived, and slowly piece together snapshots from his childhood to understand this rediscovered self-knowledge and find how it can help him rebuild his life and marriage. Alternating between calculated suicide attempts and heartbreaking memories of a happier time, Christian revels in the underbelly of New York City in a spectacular downward spiral.
Nine years of his childhood are entirely repressed, a consequence of his father killing his mother when Christian was eight. But as Christian is beaten to death in a bar brawl, his life flashes before his eyes and a long repressed memory resurfaces: the stoop of his childhood home, his father in the back of a cop car, and his mother being wheeled away on a gurney. Christian is resuscitated and comes alive with driving purpose. He must know more.
What follows is Christian’s increasingly desperate attempts to kill himself, be revived, and slowly piece together snapshots from his childhood to understand this rediscovered self-knowledge and find how it can help him rebuild his life and marriage. Alternating between calculated suicide attempts and heartbreaking memories of a happier time, Christian revels in the underbelly of New York City in a spectacular downward spiral.
256 pages, Paperback
First published December 2, 2013
23 people are currently reading
633 people want to read
About the author
Joe Nelms
12 books29 followersJoe spent the last twenty years working in advertising, television and film including senior positions at DMB&B, Grey, BBDO and Warner Bros. serving clients like Pepsi, GE, Campbell's, Foot Locker, the Harry Potter series, the Ocean's 11 series, and The Matrix Trilogy.
Joe was co-founder, artistic director, producer and director of Live On Tape, a live sketch comedy show that was bought by NBC and turned into ten hilarious episodes. Additionally, he helped produce Between, a feature film that debuted in the Sundance Drama competition, and he co-wrote the teen horror parody film Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th (currently available on Netflix).
Joe was co-founder, artistic director, producer and director of Live On Tape, a live sketch comedy show that was bought by NBC and turned into ten hilarious episodes. Additionally, he helped produce Between, a feature film that debuted in the Sundance Drama competition, and he co-wrote the teen horror parody film Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th (currently available on Netflix).
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
December 2, 2013
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have an inside out view of a human being emotionally , physically and spiritually falling apart while careening between denial and full awareness?
Well if you'd like to experience that with a heavy sauce of dark humor, cutting insight into human character and brilliant writing- then Last Time I Died is your new favorite book.
Masterfully written from multiple viewpoints , no detail of the story's characters is left untouched. The dark visual images, nay "mind-films", that the book induced for me were the true meaning of "intense". And yet , no words were wasted. Simplicity reigns in this dark world created by Joe Nelms.
Oozing with realistic character portrayal - the book hits hard with a close up view of a human unraveling. A razor sharp accuracy of human ills within "our man", and the characters around him.
Set in New York City, it is referential bliss for those of us who live here and proves that while Bloomberg may have existed as mayor, your typical backroom dog fight , murderous scum, insipid lawyer or dirty cop are still very much the underbelly of this city.
Within in the first 10 pages I probably referred to my dictionary 10 plus times . But this was not the amateur flexing of a new novelist- this was the deft playfulness of an undiscovered genius author making the laughs heartier and the powerful narrative resonate like the intro to AC/DC's "Hells Bells".
Read this book early upon its release. The film will be made and you'll be able to say you were an early fan of this new literary heavyweight, Joe Nelms.
Well if you'd like to experience that with a heavy sauce of dark humor, cutting insight into human character and brilliant writing- then Last Time I Died is your new favorite book.
Masterfully written from multiple viewpoints , no detail of the story's characters is left untouched. The dark visual images, nay "mind-films", that the book induced for me were the true meaning of "intense". And yet , no words were wasted. Simplicity reigns in this dark world created by Joe Nelms.
Oozing with realistic character portrayal - the book hits hard with a close up view of a human unraveling. A razor sharp accuracy of human ills within "our man", and the characters around him.
Set in New York City, it is referential bliss for those of us who live here and proves that while Bloomberg may have existed as mayor, your typical backroom dog fight , murderous scum, insipid lawyer or dirty cop are still very much the underbelly of this city.
Within in the first 10 pages I probably referred to my dictionary 10 plus times . But this was not the amateur flexing of a new novelist- this was the deft playfulness of an undiscovered genius author making the laughs heartier and the powerful narrative resonate like the intro to AC/DC's "Hells Bells".
Read this book early upon its release. The film will be made and you'll be able to say you were an early fan of this new literary heavyweight, Joe Nelms.
July 16, 2021
I have a very dark sense of humor. And when I say dark, I mean I am the type of person to make jokes at funerals. It is not that I am without feeling or empathy - far from it. I just use inappropriate humor to cope with my emotions. I expect my own funeral to be a comedy central style roast of my quirks and idiosyncrasies. That being said....this book was a damn gem for my type of acerbic wit and caustic descriptions.
Some of my favorite lines (TW: Mentions of suicide):
The writing lends the story a dystopian Oscar Wilde feel. It is unflinchingly dark. Christian is a drowning man with rapidly deteriorating mental and physical health, and the book perfectly captures his self-perpetuated despair while weaving in some surprising twists and turns. The ending is not a happy one but it is the right one.
In sum, this is one of my favorite books of the year, but it is not for everyone. A lot of people will find the darkness off-putting, but I will undoubtedly return to it whenever I am looking for a hefty dose of misanthropic bons mots.
Some of my favorite lines (TW: Mentions of suicide):
"The old boy gave it his best effort but succeeded only in the pusillanimous achievement of 'attempted' suicide. Again."
"I can see her ribs through her skin like they were shrink-wrapped for sale in a butcher shop."
"My moral compass is homemade and clunky. Not even sure it's magnetized. Asking me for emotional direction is like asking a couch for fashion advice."
"It doesn't take much for the simple exercise of self-control to spiral into something so much worse. Coping mechanisms are insidious."
"There's something so comforting about righteous indignation."
"The isn't the kind of restaurant where the employees are paid enough to give a shit about anything."
"I'm a narcissist and as much as I hate my very being, I hold myself, at the same time, far too important to commit suicide."
"I am the Lance Armstrong of Frankensteins."
"Even among the homeless here, I stand out. Unstable has its own distinct aura."
The writing lends the story a dystopian Oscar Wilde feel. It is unflinchingly dark. Christian is a drowning man with rapidly deteriorating mental and physical health, and the book perfectly captures his self-perpetuated despair while weaving in some surprising twists and turns. The ending is not a happy one but it is the right one.
In sum, this is one of my favorite books of the year, but it is not for everyone. A lot of people will find the darkness off-putting, but I will undoubtedly return to it whenever I am looking for a hefty dose of misanthropic bons mots.
January 15, 2014
Christian’s head is not a nice place to be.
It is the opposite of nice. It’s dark and supremely fucked up. I almost feel like that’s a mild description for Christian Franco’s brain. Dark and supremely fucked up.
There’s something about The Last Time I Died that is excruciating to read, and yet, I couldn’t stop reading. Not until my stomach clenched one too many times and I had to put it down and pick up something else, something fluffy and mind-numbing. It’s that kind of book. It’s Hurricane Katrina footage: you keep watching, and watching, your disgust and disbelief growing with every second, but it’s not until day three of the coverage do you finally turn the TV off, and by that point your brain has been so saturated with the mess you’ll never forget it.
Read more at Byrne After Reading: http://amandakbyrne.com/2014/01/15/th...
It is the opposite of nice. It’s dark and supremely fucked up. I almost feel like that’s a mild description for Christian Franco’s brain. Dark and supremely fucked up.
There’s something about The Last Time I Died that is excruciating to read, and yet, I couldn’t stop reading. Not until my stomach clenched one too many times and I had to put it down and pick up something else, something fluffy and mind-numbing. It’s that kind of book. It’s Hurricane Katrina footage: you keep watching, and watching, your disgust and disbelief growing with every second, but it’s not until day three of the coverage do you finally turn the TV off, and by that point your brain has been so saturated with the mess you’ll never forget it.
Read more at Byrne After Reading: http://amandakbyrne.com/2014/01/15/th...
February 14, 2021
Wow, this one started dark and just kept getting darker - really should have read the cover blurb more closely. That said, despite it's overall creepiness, this debut novel was a true page-turner. Joe Nelms is a solid writer with a really strong voice, and I would have given this an easy 4 stars but for the ending, which while providing a nice Shyamalan twist left way too many "well then, who was...what did...why were...?"-type questions.
And now on to something lighter and frothier, like maybe King Lear.
And now on to something lighter and frothier, like maybe King Lear.
July 4, 2014
This book is absolute DRECK. If ever one wanted proof that publicists "make" books, this is it because the hype is unbearable.Give this to your enemy as a gift. Terrible writing, incomprehensible plot, and subject matter opaque.
August 16, 2014
Unlike anything I've read before. This was less like reading a book and more like falling into someone's head and suddenly being on a crazy thrill ride. The descriptions are vivid, so don't read if you're squeamish.
February 28, 2015
This book was a wild ride. It was an intense, grim, and outrageous look into the mind of a man who is self destructing. The reasons unfold slowly, a bit at a time. At the end, I thought "of course!" but it was not predictable in any way. It was well written and intelligent, with darkly humorous observations throughout. It was written from the perspective of the protagonist and an unnamed narrator. I could not put this book down, and I think it will stay with me for a while. I'm going to read something fluffy and mindless now!
July 23, 2016
If you know anything at all you'll do yourself a big favor and lose yourself within these pages.
October 23, 2013
*I was given a free copy of this book, in exchange for an honest review.*
Imagine not remembering your childhood. Imagine not remembering your birthday parties, friends, or anything about your life before the age of 8. Now imagine that the only time you could remember these events were when you were having a near death experience.
Christian Franco, is on a downward spiral of his life, because he can’t pull his crap together. He wants to remember his past, remember what happened years ago, not just yesterday. Christian, used to be a husband, a brother, a son, and a lawyer. Now he is a death junkie. He’ll do anything to remember the details again and if that means getting smashed in the face by some thug then so be it and if he dies in the process, really who cares? He is careless and reckless with his life. Trying to catch that last high of a memory. Just when you think Christian’s life can’t get any worse he is dealt another blow, that crumbles him a little bit, but not enough to stop him.
Slowly he tries to piece his life back together, following that elusive memory, just out of reach. After a near death he sketches what he remembers, so that he can catch more memories later. Will all the pieces finally fall into place? Will it be enough to let him have peace? Will he finally understand and move on?
I felt like some of the book we were following Christian around, stalking him while sitting next to a shrink who was analyzing his life. Oh look, at the bar again, drinking his sorrows away rather than face them. I liked that. I liked that we as outsiders were given little blurbs about Christian. It was almost like a movie camera was following his life, documenting everything.
Christian is written with so much emotion and turmoil, that as you read you feel everything he does. I was angry for him and with him, I grieved with him and felt the need to hug him at one point. Joe Nelms did a great job capturing your heart in this book and then twisting it all around and smashing it just like Christian’s.
Some of the stuff Christian does is a little far fetched, I don’t want to give it away. But there are thing that SCREAM for help and he seems to have no friends that truly care for him anymore – yet there are tons of flashbacks with friends – I guess they all got tired of his BS and walked away from him. The family he does have, Ella has written him off. She’s in her own bubble, far removed from him; avoidance and denial her drugs of choice.
Imagine not remembering your childhood. Imagine not remembering your birthday parties, friends, or anything about your life before the age of 8. Now imagine that the only time you could remember these events were when you were having a near death experience.
Christian Franco, is on a downward spiral of his life, because he can’t pull his crap together. He wants to remember his past, remember what happened years ago, not just yesterday. Christian, used to be a husband, a brother, a son, and a lawyer. Now he is a death junkie. He’ll do anything to remember the details again and if that means getting smashed in the face by some thug then so be it and if he dies in the process, really who cares? He is careless and reckless with his life. Trying to catch that last high of a memory. Just when you think Christian’s life can’t get any worse he is dealt another blow, that crumbles him a little bit, but not enough to stop him.
Slowly he tries to piece his life back together, following that elusive memory, just out of reach. After a near death he sketches what he remembers, so that he can catch more memories later. Will all the pieces finally fall into place? Will it be enough to let him have peace? Will he finally understand and move on?
I felt like some of the book we were following Christian around, stalking him while sitting next to a shrink who was analyzing his life. Oh look, at the bar again, drinking his sorrows away rather than face them. I liked that. I liked that we as outsiders were given little blurbs about Christian. It was almost like a movie camera was following his life, documenting everything.
Christian is written with so much emotion and turmoil, that as you read you feel everything he does. I was angry for him and with him, I grieved with him and felt the need to hug him at one point. Joe Nelms did a great job capturing your heart in this book and then twisting it all around and smashing it just like Christian’s.
Some of the stuff Christian does is a little far fetched, I don’t want to give it away. But there are thing that SCREAM for help and he seems to have no friends that truly care for him anymore – yet there are tons of flashbacks with friends – I guess they all got tired of his BS and walked away from him. The family he does have, Ella has written him off. She’s in her own bubble, far removed from him; avoidance and denial her drugs of choice.
April 3, 2014
Offering a completely unique premise, this author has created a plot that almost feels as if you’re becoming a drug addict during the reading of the book. In other words, the material is so weighted down and dark, the mind spins at the utter tragedy of it all.
Christian Franco, like many folks, has not had a great life. He has forgotten or repressed much of his childhood; which seems normal, considering his father killed his mother when Christian was only eight years old. Although receiving flashbacks of his life every once in a while, he never clearly remembers.
In a desperate attempt to bring back his memory and live a normal life, Christian sets up a plan: He will kill himself and be resuscitated in hopes of bringing back all he has lost. Close to losing his job, his wife and most of his friends, Christian heads down this dark path and loses more than a bit of his soul along the way.
His many attempts at death and rebirth do not work out very well, and Christian goes out looking for trouble. But lo and behold, one of these forays into ‘suicide’ lands him in a place called ‘The White’. This is a location that stores up memories, and as the memories sail past him, Christian finally remembers something - a missing link, perhaps, that occurred during that traumatic event when he was only a child. After this experience, Christian attempts even more near-death experiences hoping he can reach ‘The White’ again, desperate to regain and retain what he needs to know in order to continue living.
Difficult to stop reading, this plot is a bit like a natural disaster you just can’t stop watching on television, until you finally remember life is still going on outside your door. A very dark story, the urge to punch some of Christian’s so-called friends for letting him continue his killing trip instead of actually helping him live, is immense.
Christian Franco, like many folks, has not had a great life. He has forgotten or repressed much of his childhood; which seems normal, considering his father killed his mother when Christian was only eight years old. Although receiving flashbacks of his life every once in a while, he never clearly remembers.
In a desperate attempt to bring back his memory and live a normal life, Christian sets up a plan: He will kill himself and be resuscitated in hopes of bringing back all he has lost. Close to losing his job, his wife and most of his friends, Christian heads down this dark path and loses more than a bit of his soul along the way.
His many attempts at death and rebirth do not work out very well, and Christian goes out looking for trouble. But lo and behold, one of these forays into ‘suicide’ lands him in a place called ‘The White’. This is a location that stores up memories, and as the memories sail past him, Christian finally remembers something - a missing link, perhaps, that occurred during that traumatic event when he was only a child. After this experience, Christian attempts even more near-death experiences hoping he can reach ‘The White’ again, desperate to regain and retain what he needs to know in order to continue living.
Difficult to stop reading, this plot is a bit like a natural disaster you just can’t stop watching on television, until you finally remember life is still going on outside your door. A very dark story, the urge to punch some of Christian’s so-called friends for letting him continue his killing trip instead of actually helping him live, is immense.
August 21, 2018
Eerily plausible storyline
Troubled man tries to retrieve a traumatic memory from childhood by dying and being brought back to life. Each repetition brings a fragment of memory. First person narration interspersed with an omniscient voice is effective.
Troubled man tries to retrieve a traumatic memory from childhood by dying and being brought back to life. Each repetition brings a fragment of memory. First person narration interspersed with an omniscient voice is effective.
December 10, 2013
To say I loved this book would be an understatement. I powered through the entire book in about 4 hours without stopping once, just could not put it down. This is great, truly great. The reader is always a half step ahead of Christian, and the writing talent that puts you in that position is just remarkable. Fight Club fans will recognize its influence in a couple of different scenes, while the ending gives the reader just enough closure (while still likely to prompt vigorous debate). I can't wait for some of my friends to read it so I can partake - like Patricia Arquette in True Romance (albeit with less vice tendencies) I want to get a piece of pie and chat about this terrific book !! Well done, best book I have read in 18 months. PS Cordoba is easily my favorite character. Can't wait until this gets made into a movie so I can see who gets cast in that role !!
March 19, 2014
A dark exploration of the mind. The author's sparse prose reminds me of The Stranger by Albert Camus. Told in the first person with the help of a narrator, it is the story of Christian Franco, an up and coming lawyer in New York with a beautiful wife and a wonderful life. But Franco has a problem. He has no memories prior to the day, when at the age of eight, he watches his father kill his mother. Franco starts to drink and when he gets in a bar fight he gets the crap beat out of him and dies. Between the time he dies and the paramedics revive him, he has his first glimpse of his childhood. He is now on a mission to find ways to die five minutes at a time.
August 5, 2013
Goodness gracious, this simply was a delightful read! I felt such joy when I read this. It was amazingly executed and my wife Martha agrees. We will be buying 500 copies to pass around the Genius Old People home. Everyone at Bingo Night agrees that this installment is particularly spectacular. Now I am off to drink some prune juice, for I have been having quite the indigestion after I had some of Martha's rock cake. Warning, dear friend, never eat Martha's rock cake!
Tots ma goats amazing!
Rufus Crumplebottom
:)
Tots ma goats amazing!
Rufus Crumplebottom
:)
May 15, 2017
Sometimes death is not a bad option.
For instance, if you died before 2013 you would never have had the opportunity to read this book. It did not exist yet. And that's a good thing.
On the other hand, if this writer would have died, once only, and preferably before picking up a pen and a publishing house, the poor reader could continue on with his miserable existence.
Now that this book is a real thing, so is Euthanasia.
Consider Belgium, the Netherlands, or Oregon and surrender to the doctors there.
For instance, if you died before 2013 you would never have had the opportunity to read this book. It did not exist yet. And that's a good thing.
On the other hand, if this writer would have died, once only, and preferably before picking up a pen and a publishing house, the poor reader could continue on with his miserable existence.
Now that this book is a real thing, so is Euthanasia.
Consider Belgium, the Netherlands, or Oregon and surrender to the doctors there.
June 25, 2015
If what you want is an easy to read, predictable, straight forward plot driven narrative do not even consider this book. On the other hand if you're looking for a roller coaster ride, don't bother breaking the rules create your own from the get go piece of amazing creative genius grab this book and don't let go until its last word slams you in the gut to leave you slumped in delighted exhaustion, this is your read!
May 13, 2014
Just. Wow. A descent into addiction and madness that grabbed me from the beginning and never let go. It's a difficult book to like because it's so dark and relentless but the portrayal of madness and release is compelling and spell-binding. Amazing.
June 1, 2014
Great book - my newest FBOY (favorite book of the year)! Really grew to care about the main character as his story was revealed...... Very well-written, fast paced, hard to put this one down! Highly recommended!
November 18, 2015
This is a seriously good book! I've read it 3 times and I saw aspects that I hadn't perceived before on each read.It's much different than "Formerly Fingerman" but just as rewarding!!And if you haven't read Fingerman then pick them both up and you will be handsomely rewarded
October 20, 2017
The prose in this is beautiful and darkly disturbing. Christian leads you through the twisted alleys of his mind on a trip that is alternately harrowing and enlightening.
This book will make you uncomfortable.
This book will make you uncomfortable.
September 7, 2020
The most mind boggling book I have read; the horror that occupies the character's mind. The story played me. My vocabulary multiplied at the insistence of an incredible writer with a very original story line
October 17, 2013
'The Last Time I Died' ended just as strong as it started. One of the best yet darkest books I've read all year.
November 16, 2013
Fingernail biting good.
February 7, 2014
dark, riveting, interesting...
February 11, 2014
Light and Dark. Joe Nelm's first book is artful, and darker than dark. Not for the faint of heart, but accurate to the inner turmoil that some in this world have survived.
A page turner.
A page turner.
May 13, 2014
Wow so that was a very disturbing book. I loved it. Well written.
April 17, 2015
Bizarre; intriguing; mesmerizing...
June 27, 2014
I liked it. Written in an unconventional way but one of those books that gives you a whoa! moment toward the end.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews