Toxic at Work: Surviving your psychopathic workmates, from the dominant bullies to the charming manipulators

by David Gillespie

Most bullies are psychopaths, but not all psychopaths are immediately recognised as bullies. Some blind us with their charm and dazzle us with their success. Some are ferociously talented and startlingly effective (at least in the short term). But they all share a common trait that makes them highly dangerous: they don't have empathy.

Research tells us that one human in twenty has no empathy. Empathy is the exclusively human ingredient that enables trust, forges bonds and allows teams to work and workplaces to thrive. It is why we are able to build cities and play football (unlike our pets). The workplace psychopath is not interested in cooperative effort; they are interested in power, glory and self-advancement. And they will trample over anyone who gets in their way, destroying careers, teams and, sometimes, organisations.

Using research and stories drawn from the realms of history, politics, sports and business, Gillespie explains how psychopaths see the world and illustrates their devastating impact on individuals and workplaces. He shows us how to identify a psychopath and how to manage them to lessen their impact, be they a boss, a client, a colleague or a supplier. He shows individuals how to self-protect and organisations how to use trust, transparency and teamwork to insulate against the corrosive effect of these individuals.

Searing in its honesty, unflinching in its analysis of where we empaths go wrong time and time again, this is the guide you need to spot, manage and eject the workplace psycho, once and for all.

Genres: Nonfiction, Health

288 pages, Paperback

Published May 7, 2024

Reviews

[Hayley DeSilva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to the audiobook as it was April's SOTM book club choice.
Recently left a toxic workplace and this really highlighted what the issues were there, and gave me tools for the future to avoid this trap again.

[Bex Lyons · Rating 3 out of 5]

very interesting read. felt like there was a slight accusatory tone in the book that was a bit uncomfortable. the studies used in the book though were very thought provoking

[Nicki Markus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full review to follow 25/09/2023

[Fiona Gregory · Rating 4 out of 5]

David Gillespie changed my relationship with a family member when I read ‘Taming Toxic People.’ Now I need his help to help me navigate someone who is ‘Toxic at Work.’

The first half of the book, went through some history and studies of psychopathy. It gave me insight into how neurotypical and psychopaths’ brains behave. The next section involved a case study that played out a typical work scenario.

On the back of this, the last chapter gives sound advice on how to deal with the psychopath I have at work. In fact I started with this chapter and ended with it twice. This chapter alone is great if you are time poor and deep in the trenches trying to keep your head down.

Thanks again David Gillespie. Just what I needed at the right time.

[Kelly Kennell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book wasn't so much "dealing with toxic people at work" but more so the theory behind psychopathy, testing and well known psychopaths. It was an interesting read, however I didn't really finish it with any tips on how to deal with psychopaths in day to day life.

[Marles Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dabid Gillespie’s latest book “Toxic at Work” is a refreshing way to look at the people in your life, especially your workplace that create toxic experiences. Ket messages about staying out of their way, getting on with your work, keeping your head down and not giving anything personal away is key to survive a relationship with a toxic person. At the very core off it all, it comes down to empathy – a psychopath lacks empathy, while a not-so-nice person is really not very nice but can relate to you as a person, rather than an inanimate object. They make decisions that directly benefit them, and nothing else. They “lack the von Economo wiring necessary to experience true emotional empathy”, and do not learn from neither reward or punishment. And, they can learn to mimic empathy, yet can’t always fake it until they make it.

One of the other elements of this book I found interesting was that of Gillespie’s perspective on trust in the workplace: a psychopath cannot trust anyone at all. He quotes Warren Buffett: “trust is like the air we breathe. When it is present, nobody really notices. When it ‘s absent, everybody notices”. And in a workplace, trust is that crucial elements that allows us all to get on with what we need to do, to be productive, to achieve our team goals and objectives. A psychopath can’t learn from the past, so any future negative consequences are inconsequential to them. So what do we look for in trustworthy colleagues and leaders: we look for what Dr Fred Kiel identified as for character strengths: integrity, responsibility, forgiveness and compassion. They create the culture of trust, respect, engagement and accountability that is in direct opposition to toxic work behaviours and the one thing psychopaths want to destroy.

A great guide for spotting people who seem to bedazzle others and destroy organisations and people, one by one.

[Veronica Ruff · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the information in this book was very relevant ,particularly the scenarios contained within the case studies. The case studies provided a reasonably accurate account of what you may face when interacting with a psychopath in the work environment. Also, the recommendations given on ways to engage with the psychopath until you are able to find other employment were quite sound.
The bias regarding Donald Trump was, however, quite annoying and in the context of this book, unneccesary. It appeared as though the author had an intense dislike for Donald. The author has entirely missed the point of not believing media hype, particularly that of the US where there is a vested interested in swaying as many of the "sheep", (the public), into believing certain things about individuals that maynot be true. The author has no way of knowing what is or isnot true about Donald Trump and has allowed himself to be manipulated basing his opinions on information drip fed to him by the media. Also, as the author isnot a health professional he has no way of knowing whether Donald Trump is a psychopath or not. He hasnot performed an MRI on him, nor has he sliced into his brain to make a further determination. Well, the individual obviously can't be alive to do the latter testing.
As a health professional and the last 4 years as a mental health professional I would have had more positive things to say about this book had the author not have spent so much time bringing his personal bias into the equation.

[Brittany · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting points were made, however this book could’ve been about half the size it is. It was very repetitive, and often jumped between differing life stories and examples to prove a point already stated at least five to six times prior.
The case studies were fascinating, and certainly makes you think about situations in your life where encountering psychopaths have happened.
The overall solution to combating a psychopath being honesty and integrity seemed a bit of a “well, duh” moment. However, the studies regarding the von economo neurons, the tragedy of the commons, and the concept of tit-for-tat were incredibly interesting, and prompts you thinking about how we interact with and think about others in society.
I knew there were footnotes at the end of the book, but I much prefer seeing the quote with a number, which then links it with the footnote at the back of the book. Instead, no numbering system, only a list of page numbers with the first few words of the quote and the reference for it, all located at the back of the book. Not seeing those numbered footnotes as I was reading the text made me start questioning the credibility of the text, since it started to feel less like an informational text and more of a memoir or a fictional novel. Structural conventions could certainly use refining.
Overall thoughts? Meh, but insightful.

[Shanala Mesecke · Rating 5 out of 5]

The perfect read! This book is so incredibly helpful and realistic. The way it explains and guides you through the journey of being in a workplace with people like this is incredible, it really makes explaining your situation to others easier. It allows those who have been in a workplace as such understand their experience better, why it was the way it was and how can they either make sense of it and deal with it or prevent it from happening again. This book has taught me a lot not only on what I’ve experienced in toxic workplaces but also how to deal and avoid them in the future. I would 100% recommend this to everyone, I think everyone deserves to understand this topic and be able to provide support to themselves or others in the same situations. More people need to know about these sort of ‘psychopaths’ and how and why they’re the way they are, how to deal with them, how to avoid them and how to help others who find themselves victim to them.

[Daniela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting and nicely written book. I have known a very few facts about psychopaths before this book, but because it was so well written I could understand everything, even the parts where the author explains biological and chemical side of the psychopathy. I think everyone with a basic knowledge of a high-school biology will understand this book and that evebody regardless of their job or age can benefit from reading this book. I can highly recommend it!

[Alena · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found the book initially in the Qantas flight library of audiobooks. It is an interesting book, however the promise of the book title was not fulfilled and I couldn't find a lot of relevant advice on how to deal with psychopaths. As I started reading the book, I felt disappointed as I was initially fascinated and interested in the title. The book is based on individual stories of psychopaths and their lives, however I am not sure what is the take away for me from the book.

[Ita · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting read but too much theory for my liking and not enough practical steps to surviving toxic people other than not engaging and looking for a new job. I did not know that some people do not have empathy, that explains a lot!

[Chennay Georgia · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5 stars.

This book mostly discussed famous people who have psychopathic tendencies and the evil acts they did. It explains how to potentially identify a psychopath as well as small sections of information that informed the reader of how to manage or survive a psychopath.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not only is this helpful, but David Gillespie has a wonderfully dry sense of humour.

I wish I had listened to this before I worked for a psychopath; I may have escaped without feeling shattered for years. I'm now going to recommend it to everyone!

[Tallulah Griffin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating book.

[Rowena Burley · Rating 5 out of 5]

An essential read to identify and protect ourselves from the damage these people will do. I had so many insights from this book and it provides techniques on how to deal with them.

[Bella Zefira · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clearly written. Enjoyed the Case Studies illustrating the bullies/psychopaths at work and difficulties of protecting yourself

[Sonia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eye opening examples. Very educational.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was absolutely terrifying. It gave me severe anxiety. How many psychopaths are out there??!

[Kathleen Greenhill · Rating 4 out of 5]

A must read

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

Was more focused on identifying certain personality distinctions, rather than how to deal with them. Everyone knows what a toxic workplace looks like, most of us have experienced one.

[Janelle Cavarra · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was okay. It didn’t really go in the direction I thought it would. I found some of the conversation around big CEOs like Steve jobs and ex president Donald Trump interesting though.

[Lenny_reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pôvodne som plánovala, že si knihu vezmem do sebou do práce a budem sa baviť na reakciách ľudí, keď už zbadajú. Napokon som si ju nechala doma a spustila sa do nej pohodlne usadená na gauči.

Takýto druh literatúry čítam veľmi zriedkavo, a preto som sa rozhodla to zmeniť a siahnuť po niečom, na čo nie som zvyknutá. Čítať o psychopatoch bolo znepokojujúce. Nemyslím tým psychopatov, ktorí trpia duševným ochorením. Myslím tým ľudí, ktorí sa nachádzajú všade okolo nás a vďaka tejto knihe som si uvedomila, že ani ja som sa im vo svojom živote nevyhla.

V knihe Skrytí psychopati na pracovisku autor nielen rozoberá, kto je to vlastne psychopat, ale najmä ponúka pohľad na rozličných ,,bežných” psychopatov, ktorí sa vo svete objavujú, a to na základe prípadových štúdii a príkladov.