What do you think?
Rate this book
Podwójne życie mojego chłopaka
Following an intense chance meeting Mark leaves his wife to begin a new life with Cleo. What starts as a fairytale swiftly turns into a black comedy. Under the illusion she knows everything about the loveable rogue she has fallen for, Cleo is shocked to discover that he may not be so lovable after all. By the time realisation kicks in, Mark and Cleo are in the grips of a bad, mad love affair that neither of them seem able to walk away from. The story which is based on true events (unfortunately) gives an alternative viewpoint on topics that are current yet still somewhat taboo. Mental health, odd OCD tendencies, anger, jealousy, emotional abuse, an occasional fight, drinking too much, eating too little, unwanted pregnancies and a s_ _tload of swearing. Thinking things can't get any worse, Cleo marches on, telling her story with a dry sense of humour and a 'just get on with it' attitude. Only things do get worse. Very much worse. Has she got the strength to deal with a woman's worst nightmare? After everything she has been through will this be the final nail in the coffin or the chance of a new life. Spanning nearly two decades, this is a raw and honest account of an unconventional love story, funny, sad, jaw dropping and completely addictive. Cleo James lifts up the carpet where society sweeps things they would rather not talk about and brings them out in the open. Shameless and unapologetic with an ending you won’t see coming however hard you look.
- GenresNonfiction
314 pages, Paperback
Published June 3, 2023
18 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
September 12, 2024
Słuchałam po angielsku, wpadło mi przypadkiem. Tytuł angielski nie jest spojlerem- "The Swedish secret"
Nie wiem jak ocenić tą książkę. Są to wspomnienia kobiety, która od 20 lat jest w związku z przemocowym partnerem. Opisuje związek pełen przemocy fizycznej i psychicznej, chorobliwej zazdrości i związanej z nią paranoi partnera, manipulacji. Do tego jej partner jest/ był patologicznym kłamcą i przez jakiś czas prowadził podwójne życie, oszukując obie partnerki. Otóż nie bez powodu używam czasu teraźniejszego. Książka kończy się na roku 2020, i Cleo wciąż jest z Markiem, i pisze, że się "uspokoił". Kilka razy chciała odejść, ale została z ni, bo jak pisze "dobre strony związku" przeważały- bardzo duże znaczenie miało i ma to, że był przystojny, dość dobrze sytuowany, i świetny w łóżku, i ona uważa, że są kompatybilni. Tak - wkręcała się w jego gierki, sprawiały jej satysfakcję kłótnie i wzajemne wyzwiska, sama miała problemy ze złością i lubiła mieć pretekst, żeby "się wyżyć". Autorka dziwi się, dlaczego wszyscy radzą kobietom zostawiać przemocowych partnerów, skoro kobieta może być szczęśliwa, jeśli nie boi się partnera, i wręcz lubi tą karuzelę emocji, jakie jej partner jej funduje. Wkurza ją, że tak mało kobiet ma odwagę się przyznać do tego, że im dobrze w takich relacjach. Szkoda, że jeszcze nie doda, że z siniakami i podbitymi oczami kobietom do twarzy..
Szczerze - miejscami nie mogłam uwierzyć, co czytam i ciężko mi nie oceniać.. tym bardziej, że "druga" partnerka jej chłopaka mieszkajaca w Szwecji, Andrea, dowiedziawszy się o podwójnym życiu ojca swoich dzieci zerwała z nim, ale chcąc zabezpieczyć dzieci finansowo próbowała wywalczyć umowę. A co robi Cleo? Pomaga swojemu chłopakowi ugrać jak najwięcej , by nie stracił za dużo pieniędzy.. Myślę, że Cleo James ma problem, na pewno z poczuciem własnej wartości- propaguje na kartach tej książki potencjalnie szkodliwe przekonanie, że toksyczna i przemocowa relacja może być udana i szczęśliwa. Ja nie kumam. Ale- nie wiem jak ocenić książkę, bo jest to naprawdę świetnie napisana pozycja - wciąga, intryguje, dialogi są ciekawe, język jest na poziomie. Wywołuje emocje, tyle razy miałam ochotę potrząsnąć tą kobietą.. Bo sama treść i przekaz wzbudzają sprzeciw..
Nie wiem jak ocenić tą książkę. Są to wspomnienia kobiety, która od 20 lat jest w związku z przemocowym partnerem. Opisuje związek pełen przemocy fizycznej i psychicznej, chorobliwej zazdrości i związanej z nią paranoi partnera, manipulacji. Do tego jej partner jest/ był patologicznym kłamcą i przez jakiś czas prowadził podwójne życie, oszukując obie partnerki. Otóż nie bez powodu używam czasu teraźniejszego. Książka kończy się na roku 2020, i Cleo wciąż jest z Markiem, i pisze, że się "uspokoił". Kilka razy chciała odejść, ale została z ni, bo jak pisze "dobre strony związku" przeważały- bardzo duże znaczenie miało i ma to, że był przystojny, dość dobrze sytuowany, i świetny w łóżku, i ona uważa, że są kompatybilni. Tak - wkręcała się w jego gierki, sprawiały jej satysfakcję kłótnie i wzajemne wyzwiska, sama miała problemy ze złością i lubiła mieć pretekst, żeby "się wyżyć". Autorka dziwi się, dlaczego wszyscy radzą kobietom zostawiać przemocowych partnerów, skoro kobieta może być szczęśliwa, jeśli nie boi się partnera, i wręcz lubi tą karuzelę emocji, jakie jej partner jej funduje. Wkurza ją, że tak mało kobiet ma odwagę się przyznać do tego, że im dobrze w takich relacjach. Szkoda, że jeszcze nie doda, że z siniakami i podbitymi oczami kobietom do twarzy..
Szczerze - miejscami nie mogłam uwierzyć, co czytam i ciężko mi nie oceniać.. tym bardziej, że "druga" partnerka jej chłopaka mieszkajaca w Szwecji, Andrea, dowiedziawszy się o podwójnym życiu ojca swoich dzieci zerwała z nim, ale chcąc zabezpieczyć dzieci finansowo próbowała wywalczyć umowę. A co robi Cleo? Pomaga swojemu chłopakowi ugrać jak najwięcej , by nie stracił za dużo pieniędzy.. Myślę, że Cleo James ma problem, na pewno z poczuciem własnej wartości- propaguje na kartach tej książki potencjalnie szkodliwe przekonanie, że toksyczna i przemocowa relacja może być udana i szczęśliwa. Ja nie kumam. Ale- nie wiem jak ocenić książkę, bo jest to naprawdę świetnie napisana pozycja - wciąga, intryguje, dialogi są ciekawe, język jest na poziomie. Wywołuje emocje, tyle razy miałam ochotę potrząsnąć tą kobietą.. Bo sama treść i przekaz wzbudzają sprzeciw..
March 24, 2022
This is Cleo’s story. It’s intense and immersive, page turning and provocative. It’s the story of her relationship with Mark, the handsome man she first set eyes on in a cubicle in A&E in February 2002. Before you can say Bob’s your uncle and Fanny’s your aunt, Mark has swept Cleo off her feet and their relationship is under way. But this isn’t any old relationship, oh no, it’s a stormy and turbulent one - there’s romance and grand gestures alongside screaming fights and dislocated jaws. And there are secrets, plenty of them. If you want to find out what they are then you’ll need to read the book…
My opinions changed countless times while reading this book. I hated Mark, he was such an arsehole. I had a Mark of my own when I was younger & I nodded in remembrance at so many of the similarities. But as I got to know more about him, I warmed to him, despite trying not to. I loved the often witty and humorous style of this book, I chuckled away at the numerous sarcastic remarks which contrasted well with the heavier themes. Actually, Cleo’s style of writing seemed so genuine and open it almost felt like I was reading her diary & as a result I raced through it in just 2 days. She tells it like it is; it’s an honest and unflinching account of a crazy relationship. But by the end of the book I have to say that I don’t know who’s crazier; Cleo or Mark!
My opinions changed countless times while reading this book. I hated Mark, he was such an arsehole. I had a Mark of my own when I was younger & I nodded in remembrance at so many of the similarities. But as I got to know more about him, I warmed to him, despite trying not to. I loved the often witty and humorous style of this book, I chuckled away at the numerous sarcastic remarks which contrasted well with the heavier themes. Actually, Cleo’s style of writing seemed so genuine and open it almost felt like I was reading her diary & as a result I raced through it in just 2 days. She tells it like it is; it’s an honest and unflinching account of a crazy relationship. But by the end of the book I have to say that I don’t know who’s crazier; Cleo or Mark!
October 24, 2021
The Swedish Secret by the very lovely @bycleojames
Cleo and I ended up reading Sleeping with a Psychopath at the same time and having chats about how mad it all was (honestly, you should all read it, fascinating). Cleo kindly offered to send me a copy of her book, as she has had a similar experience.
Well, she did warn me it was going to be a ride, but my goodness it was a hell of a read.
The book covers Cleo and Mark's relationship over a good 20 years and let's just say it's not plain sailing, that would be boring, wouldn't it?
It's taken me a few weeks to come up with words to describe the book/relationship and I'm still not sure I have them. Yes, their relationship is full of drama, some pretty intense moments that Cleo handled with such sass and courage, it's amazing, but there is a hell of deep love between them.
The lies, oh I couldn't keep up with those and you have to be one forgiving person for those, but Cleo isn't a victim, she is a hero! She stands up for herself and I have so much admiration.
When you read about a relationship its very easy to have your opinion and say what you would do, but really, would we?
The end of the book, whaaaat a twist that was! I didn't see it coming.
I'm so glad your book is going to be published in Sweden, so well deserved.
Thank you again for allowing me to read your story, your book and giving me an insight into your life
Cleo and I ended up reading Sleeping with a Psychopath at the same time and having chats about how mad it all was (honestly, you should all read it, fascinating). Cleo kindly offered to send me a copy of her book, as she has had a similar experience.
Well, she did warn me it was going to be a ride, but my goodness it was a hell of a read.
The book covers Cleo and Mark's relationship over a good 20 years and let's just say it's not plain sailing, that would be boring, wouldn't it?
It's taken me a few weeks to come up with words to describe the book/relationship and I'm still not sure I have them. Yes, their relationship is full of drama, some pretty intense moments that Cleo handled with such sass and courage, it's amazing, but there is a hell of deep love between them.
The lies, oh I couldn't keep up with those and you have to be one forgiving person for those, but Cleo isn't a victim, she is a hero! She stands up for herself and I have so much admiration.
When you read about a relationship its very easy to have your opinion and say what you would do, but really, would we?
The end of the book, whaaaat a twist that was! I didn't see it coming.
I'm so glad your book is going to be published in Sweden, so well deserved.
Thank you again for allowing me to read your story, your book and giving me an insight into your life
February 23, 2021
When Cleo meets her boyfriend ‘Mark’ at the beginning of the story, I was shouting ‘please no’ at the blatant lies and disregard for other people including his son who he didn’t know the age. On paper it’s easy to read and say why couldn’t you see what he was like, but when you are living that life I guess it isn’t so black and white.
The relationship develops quickly but also the signs of major jealousy and anger issues from Mark are clearly evident. I did a lot of crying out through the book ‘don’t do it’ ‘just leave’ ‘why?!’ All useless shout outs knowing that the trail of destruction was going to get worse with Mark.
The final part (without giving any spoilers) would be the final nail in the coffin for anyone, how Cleo deals with the fallout of it all is remarkable. I needed a glass of wine by this point!
This book as the author told me is not for the faint heartened. There is swearing and details of the physical abuse received, told at times with a sense of humour which would not normally be appropriate for this type of scenario but i didn’t find it offensive. It brought light to a traumatic subject and actually made me laugh (then wanting to give Cleo a hug and dragging her away)
This is an intensive read, prepare to be shocked, sad and angry on this rollercoaster of Cleo’s life but you will also smile at her wit throughout as well as being amazed by her forgiveness towards Mark. It’s such a good read, I ended up reading it all in one night.
Oh and I know what I’m doing if I ever come across a hair make over competition to win a trip to New York!
The relationship develops quickly but also the signs of major jealousy and anger issues from Mark are clearly evident. I did a lot of crying out through the book ‘don’t do it’ ‘just leave’ ‘why?!’ All useless shout outs knowing that the trail of destruction was going to get worse with Mark.
The final part (without giving any spoilers) would be the final nail in the coffin for anyone, how Cleo deals with the fallout of it all is remarkable. I needed a glass of wine by this point!
This book as the author told me is not for the faint heartened. There is swearing and details of the physical abuse received, told at times with a sense of humour which would not normally be appropriate for this type of scenario but i didn’t find it offensive. It brought light to a traumatic subject and actually made me laugh (then wanting to give Cleo a hug and dragging her away)
This is an intensive read, prepare to be shocked, sad and angry on this rollercoaster of Cleo’s life but you will also smile at her wit throughout as well as being amazed by her forgiveness towards Mark. It’s such a good read, I ended up reading it all in one night.
Oh and I know what I’m doing if I ever come across a hair make over competition to win a trip to New York!
November 2, 2021
"When was it he first hit me?" Is the prelude to the raw, honest and emotional journey that Cleo takes you on in this beautifully written memoir.
When I was first asked to read this book, I was warned by the author that this would be a tough read and she wasn't wrong! But I usually find the toughest reads are the ones that teach you the most.
Cleo meets the intensely charming Mark whilst on shift in A and E and had a loveable rogue persona quickly draws her in. Little did she know, that everything she thought she knew about love and life would be turned upside down. Mark is dishonest, intense, violent, jealous, manipulative and angry and I quickly became one of those people screaming at the choices Cleo was making. But it's one of those situations where, it's easy to sit on the outside looking in to see anything other than black and white. I veered between wanting to grab Cleo and give her a reality check, yet at the same time wanting to squeeze her and say "I've got you!".
Just when you think the ultimate betrayal has been served. Hurricane Mark gathers pace and delivers another crushing blow.
I admire Cleo's unapologetic honesty when telling her story. When most people would see Cleo as a victim, she feels the very opposite and even manages to inject humour and wit with excellent timing. Cleo has grit, determination, resilience, empathy, courage, enduring love, forgiveness and loyalty in unbelievable proportions!
This book will have you feeling angry, sad, hopeless, hopeful and above all inspired!
One of the best books I've read this year.
When I was first asked to read this book, I was warned by the author that this would be a tough read and she wasn't wrong! But I usually find the toughest reads are the ones that teach you the most.
Cleo meets the intensely charming Mark whilst on shift in A and E and had a loveable rogue persona quickly draws her in. Little did she know, that everything she thought she knew about love and life would be turned upside down. Mark is dishonest, intense, violent, jealous, manipulative and angry and I quickly became one of those people screaming at the choices Cleo was making. But it's one of those situations where, it's easy to sit on the outside looking in to see anything other than black and white. I veered between wanting to grab Cleo and give her a reality check, yet at the same time wanting to squeeze her and say "I've got you!".
Just when you think the ultimate betrayal has been served. Hurricane Mark gathers pace and delivers another crushing blow.
I admire Cleo's unapologetic honesty when telling her story. When most people would see Cleo as a victim, she feels the very opposite and even manages to inject humour and wit with excellent timing. Cleo has grit, determination, resilience, empathy, courage, enduring love, forgiveness and loyalty in unbelievable proportions!
This book will have you feeling angry, sad, hopeless, hopeful and above all inspired!
One of the best books I've read this year.
October 19, 2021
This was an incredibly raw and powerful book telling the story of Cleo and Mark's relationship spanning 20 years of their lives together. Some of it was so difficult to read and I had to put aside the fact that it was actually Cleo I was reading about rather than a fictional character as the thought of someone real dealing with this was very emotional for me. I'm lucky enough to have never experienced any of what Cleo had to deal with but some of the people closest to me have so a lot of what was spoken about really struck a chord with me.
I found it really well written and despite the subject matter it was gripping from the start and I devoured in one day as I just had to know how it ended. It wasn't all doom and gloom, Cleo's writing was really descriptive and some parts did make me chuckle. The ending was not what I was expecting but I was glad of it.
I would really urge people to read Cleo's story as I think it's one of those that will stick in your head long after you've finished it. It's available on Kindle Unlimited at the moment or is only £1.99 for a Kindle copy.
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 from me.
I found it really well written and despite the subject matter it was gripping from the start and I devoured in one day as I just had to know how it ended. It wasn't all doom and gloom, Cleo's writing was really descriptive and some parts did make me chuckle. The ending was not what I was expecting but I was glad of it.
I would really urge people to read Cleo's story as I think it's one of those that will stick in your head long after you've finished it. It's available on Kindle Unlimited at the moment or is only £1.99 for a Kindle copy.
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 from me.
March 24, 2025
Jag läst först Too good to be true - den andra sidan av den här historian vilket jag rekommenderar om man vill läsa hela historian. Cleo möte Mark på jobbet, han kommer in som patient och hon är sjuksköterska. Det är början på hur hennes liv skall vändas upp och ner. Mark är charmig tills han inte är det längre. Mark är en lögnare, han är våldsam, manipulativ, svartsjuk och så himla arg. Någonstans tidigt i boken vill man bara skaka om Cleo och skrika till henne att lämna honom. Något som hon försöker göra, men hon hamnar hos honom igen. Det är så tydligt genom många delar av boken att hon inte mår bra alls men ändå stannar hon. Utifrån så är det så enkelt att säga att hon skall lämna, alla tecken på att han inte är en bra person finns den men hon stannar. När man inte tror att det kan bli mycket värre så levererar han ännu ett svek, större än alla tidigare. Cleos historia levereras med stor ärlighet, humor och också en del värme. Det är omöjligt för mig att förstå att hon har fortsatt sitt liv med den här mannen i över 20 år.
March 12, 2021
I was so lucky that Cleo James sent me a copy of her book.
I settled down to read it and was hooked from the first page. I sat engrossed for a full day.
An honest and heartfelt account of her life with her partner and their ups and downs over the years. I completely connected with the authors story and was rooting for her throughout. A story of a strong, independent woman who faced life’s challenges head on like the queen that she is.
Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to read your book and I’d completely recommend others to pick up a copy. You won’t be disappointed x
July 4, 2024
What in the world did i just read? I loved this madness😂😂. I really liked the writing style caus she made sure to explain how she felt about the events that were happening no matter if it was good or bad. This book gave me all types of emotions. A biography never been this interesting to me caus usually people just write what happened and not how they felt(apart from Anne franks diary ofc) . I don’t want to glorify the violence but i admire the strenght and courage that these women have. It’s incredible honestly.
February 17, 2021
Amazing!
I loved this book! Honestly the emotional rollercoaster I went on whilst reading about the highs & lows of this couples relationship was somethink else! I could relate to the heroine so much in places and it really pulled on my heart strings. I will be watching out for more work by this author in the future! ⭐
I loved this book! Honestly the emotional rollercoaster I went on whilst reading about the highs & lows of this couples relationship was somethink else! I could relate to the heroine so much in places and it really pulled on my heart strings. I will be watching out for more work by this author in the future! ⭐
August 28, 2021
Wow! I so enjoyed reading Cleo’s story! It was so compelling and kept me reading way past my bed time. It was full of twists and turns which kept me guessing right until the very end. Written with such honesty, raw emotion and humour. I would definitely recommend this beautiful, real-life and unconventional love story. Be prepared to go on a rollercoaster!
February 22, 2021
I read this book in a day! I couldn't put it down. It was uncomfortable to read at times as you follow Cleo through her tumultuous relationship with Mark. However as the story develops so do the secrets! And the ending has left me with so many questions.....!
March 25, 2022
Incredible, from beginning to end!
March 27, 2023
⭐️ 4.5 ⭐️
June 11, 2023
Vilken vidrig vidrig bok, jag fullkomligt hatar den.
January 16, 2021
Wow
Wow what a great read, Literally couldn’t put this book down. Cleo you are so forgiving and have the biggest heart.
Can’t wait for the next book to see more skeletons in Mark’s closet.
Wow what a great read, Literally couldn’t put this book down. Cleo you are so forgiving and have the biggest heart.
Can’t wait for the next book to see more skeletons in Mark’s closet.
June 21, 2021
TW: Contains mental and physical abuse and abortion.
"When was it he first hit me?" Is the perfect prelude to the raw, honest and emotional journey that Cleo takes you on in this beautifully written memoir. When I was first asked to read this book, I was warned by the author that this would be a tough read and she wasn't wrong! But then, I usually find that the toughest reads are the ones that teach you the most.
Cleo meets the intensely charming Mark whilst on shift in A and E, with his lovable rogue persona quickly draws her in. Little did she know, that everything she thought she knew about love and life would be turned upside down. Mark is dishonest, intense, violent, jealous, manipulative and angry and I quickly became one of those people screaming at the choices that Cleo was making. But it's one of those situations where it's easy on the outside looking in, to see anything other than black and white. I veered between wanting to grab Cleo and give her a reality check, yet at the same time wanting to squeeze her and say, "I've got you."
Just when you think the ultimate betrayal has been served. Hurricane Mark gathers pace and delivers another crushing blow.
I admire Cleo's unapologetic honesty when telling her story and when most people would see Cleo as a victim, she feels the very opposite and even manages to inject humour and wit with excellent timing. Cleo has grit, determination, resilience, empathy, courage, enduring love, forgiveness and loyalty in unbelievable proportions.
This book will have you feeling angry, sad, hopeless, hopeful and above all inspired.
A definite must read!
"When was it he first hit me?" Is the perfect prelude to the raw, honest and emotional journey that Cleo takes you on in this beautifully written memoir. When I was first asked to read this book, I was warned by the author that this would be a tough read and she wasn't wrong! But then, I usually find that the toughest reads are the ones that teach you the most.
Cleo meets the intensely charming Mark whilst on shift in A and E, with his lovable rogue persona quickly draws her in. Little did she know, that everything she thought she knew about love and life would be turned upside down. Mark is dishonest, intense, violent, jealous, manipulative and angry and I quickly became one of those people screaming at the choices that Cleo was making. But it's one of those situations where it's easy on the outside looking in, to see anything other than black and white. I veered between wanting to grab Cleo and give her a reality check, yet at the same time wanting to squeeze her and say, "I've got you."
Just when you think the ultimate betrayal has been served. Hurricane Mark gathers pace and delivers another crushing blow.
I admire Cleo's unapologetic honesty when telling her story and when most people would see Cleo as a victim, she feels the very opposite and even manages to inject humour and wit with excellent timing. Cleo has grit, determination, resilience, empathy, courage, enduring love, forgiveness and loyalty in unbelievable proportions.
This book will have you feeling angry, sad, hopeless, hopeful and above all inspired.
A definite must read!
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews