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Bound for Disappointment: A Parody
Enter the glamorous world of BDSM erotica author and real-life submissive Tara Febreze ... lisping sales girls, sabotage by a rival author named Vageena Royale ... one Dom with a combover and a moped, another who writes books about his genitalia, and still another who can't seem to get the hang of the whole "spanking" thing ...
Tara Febreze is the bestselling author of Thoughtless Submission and other hot BDSM erotica novels. She's seeking the Dom of her dreams, one who can make her ... clenchy, as she calls it ... all while dealing with irate readers who expect the moon and stars for ninety-nine cents, hostile ranting reviewers who follow her to conventions, protestors chanting her name outside a sex shop ...
She's also contending with a string of unexplained goldfish deaths and an embarrassing incident involving a neighbor's topiary.
Will Tara find her dream Dom? Get her life together? Publish a book that sells a million copies? Find a Dom who knows how to spank? Solve the mystery of the dying goldfish? Or will she always be ... BOUND FOR DISAPPOINTMENT?
PUBLISHER'S NOTE! PLEASE READ CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU BUY/READ THIS PARODY:
This is a parody about BDSM and erotica-writing, and is intended for adults only. It contains some offensive language, BDSM themes, truly mild spanking, and a Dom with bad dandruff. The book Thoughtless Submission does not exist, nor do the other books mentioned in this work. Contains much silliness and is written in a style guaranteed to annoy and perplex. NOT sophisticated humor. What this is NOT: Pulitzer-Prize-winning humor. What this IS: Just for fun; a silly little book. Think "bag of greasy popcorn," not "caviar."
Approximately 15,000 words of crazy.
Tara Febreze is the bestselling author of Thoughtless Submission and other hot BDSM erotica novels. She's seeking the Dom of her dreams, one who can make her ... clenchy, as she calls it ... all while dealing with irate readers who expect the moon and stars for ninety-nine cents, hostile ranting reviewers who follow her to conventions, protestors chanting her name outside a sex shop ...
She's also contending with a string of unexplained goldfish deaths and an embarrassing incident involving a neighbor's topiary.
Will Tara find her dream Dom? Get her life together? Publish a book that sells a million copies? Find a Dom who knows how to spank? Solve the mystery of the dying goldfish? Or will she always be ... BOUND FOR DISAPPOINTMENT?
PUBLISHER'S NOTE! PLEASE READ CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU BUY/READ THIS PARODY:
This is a parody about BDSM and erotica-writing, and is intended for adults only. It contains some offensive language, BDSM themes, truly mild spanking, and a Dom with bad dandruff. The book Thoughtless Submission does not exist, nor do the other books mentioned in this work. Contains much silliness and is written in a style guaranteed to annoy and perplex. NOT sophisticated humor. What this is NOT: Pulitzer-Prize-winning humor. What this IS: Just for fun; a silly little book. Think "bag of greasy popcorn," not "caviar."
Approximately 15,000 words of crazy.
66 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 10, 2013
20 people want to read
About the author
Sheri Savill
5 books23 followersWho was Sheri Savill?
http://sherisavill.com <--- last word
I'm the same person online as in person. I no longer write smut or trust anyone online as I was lied to and used. Buh-bye.
Namaste!
This entire "adventure" was a HUGE mistake and if I could purge my "books" I would.
I never really felt "erotic romance" was a legitimate genre. "Books" my ass. You know? This is cheap formulaic crap that anyone can write, IMHO, and on top of that, it's mostly fake "BDSM" people writing it, IN MY OPINION, which I have the right to express. I mean, very few legit real players writing the FICTION in the "genre."
Again: I have left the genre entirely. Too many horrific experiences. Learned things: 1) Never start a website with anyone else. 2) Don't invite that third person in. 3) Careful who ya trust online. 4) Don't give things to people for free (ever). It just teaches then to take advantage of you and then move on to the next person who can "help" the career. 5) Online? Before you trust or reveal, INSIST that you actually, physically MEET THEM, EARLY ON. No excuses accepted!
If they keep saying that "you'll meet, REALLY," and you don't, sooner rather than later, RUN LIKE THE WIND. AVOID. You need to make sure you can look people in the eye. It is just way too easy to be a fake online. MEET IN PERSON. Slick words are easy -- texts, emails, even the phone calls, can all be faked.
Nest of vipers.
Best, sincerely, to the few REAL playahs who happen to write the erotic fiction. Non-playahs, I know it's fiction for you, but don't BS the real people, eh? kthxbai,
http://sherisavill.com <--- last word
I'm the same person online as in person. I no longer write smut or trust anyone online as I was lied to and used. Buh-bye.
Namaste!
This entire "adventure" was a HUGE mistake and if I could purge my "books" I would.
I never really felt "erotic romance" was a legitimate genre. "Books" my ass. You know? This is cheap formulaic crap that anyone can write, IMHO, and on top of that, it's mostly fake "BDSM" people writing it, IN MY OPINION, which I have the right to express. I mean, very few legit real players writing the FICTION in the "genre."
Again: I have left the genre entirely. Too many horrific experiences. Learned things: 1) Never start a website with anyone else. 2) Don't invite that third person in. 3) Careful who ya trust online. 4) Don't give things to people for free (ever). It just teaches then to take advantage of you and then move on to the next person who can "help" the career. 5) Online? Before you trust or reveal, INSIST that you actually, physically MEET THEM, EARLY ON. No excuses accepted!
If they keep saying that "you'll meet, REALLY," and you don't, sooner rather than later, RUN LIKE THE WIND. AVOID. You need to make sure you can look people in the eye. It is just way too easy to be a fake online. MEET IN PERSON. Slick words are easy -- texts, emails, even the phone calls, can all be faked.
Nest of vipers.
Best, sincerely, to the few REAL playahs who happen to write the erotic fiction. Non-playahs, I know it's fiction for you, but don't BS the real people, eh? kthxbai,
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
February 6, 2014
***4 stars***
This was a very fun read.
The story line is a bit confusing, heroine is all over the place, so are her DOMs, but it doesn't matter, it was still very funny parody.
Our heroine, Tara, is erotica writer, not very good or successful, but that never stopped her, and submissive, looking desperately for a DOM. She is always ready, because you never know when you'll meat the one. It could be at the supermarket or at a gas station :).
As I said, you neve know when you'll meet him.
Tara is very observant and a 'good' judge of character. She can recognize a DOM a mile away, with one look, or with her back to him. She just feels it. The particles in the air changes when a DOM is nearby.
Her pussy was constantly clenching. No, really, ALL THE TIME. It clenched when she saw burritos on sale, while thinking about cookies, from the thought that her dom was on medication, because of the way he growled, when a fan recognized her. Even the smell of gasoline made her pussy clench. I'm telling you, that thing was out of control :).
Tara's stories are based on her own experience. She travels around, visiting BDSM clubs, is always ready to get down and dirty. She haven't had much luck with finding a good Dom, so she settles for the ones that are willing to take her on.
And when she finds a place where there are some, the waiting list is ginormous. What a girl to do? Desperate times calls for desperate measures.
All of her interactions with self proclaimed Doms are hilarious.
The reason I'm taking away one star is because the last 30% got a little bit too ranty. It all became about her book being banned from Bookathon.com, about her publisher nagging her to change contents and cover, about her going apeshit because of the negative reviews.
I couldn't help, but wonder if beneath all that humor was a very pissed author, because of what went down on Amazon last year (understandably), and her reaction to negative reviews (which was unnecessary, in my opinion, she could've kept that out of the book. Yes, I've said it :-)).
This was a very fun read.
The story line is a bit confusing, heroine is all over the place, so are her DOMs, but it doesn't matter, it was still very funny parody.
Our heroine, Tara, is erotica writer, not very good or successful, but that never stopped her, and submissive, looking desperately for a DOM. She is always ready, because you never know when you'll meat the one. It could be at the supermarket or at a gas station :).
There was simply no denying it the way his gaze commanded all he surveyed: frozen bagels, frozen French fries, bags of frozen berries -- even the containers of orang juice concentrate. Nothing intimidated him.
And now… the frozen burritos.
As I said, you neve know when you'll meet him.
Tara is very observant and a 'good' judge of character. She can recognize a DOM a mile away, with one look, or with her back to him. She just feels it. The particles in the air changes when a DOM is nearby.
OH MY GOD. He's a Dominant. Of course he is. The flip-flops. The growl. But is he growling at ME? And how can he possibly know I'm a lusty submissive?
***
The outline of his flaccid cock hidden somewhere deep within the folds of his baggy pants signaled his intense desire for her submission, as did the way he idly scratched his belly, looking past her at… the burritos.
Her pussy was constantly clenching. No, really, ALL THE TIME. It clenched when she saw burritos on sale, while thinking about cookies, from the thought that her dom was on medication, because of the way he growled, when a fan recognized her. Even the smell of gasoline made her pussy clench. I'm telling you, that thing was out of control :).
Tara's stories are based on her own experience. She travels around, visiting BDSM clubs, is always ready to get down and dirty. She haven't had much luck with finding a good Dom, so she settles for the ones that are willing to take her on.
Spanky's Dungeon was packed. It was the usual crowd. about thirty-five submissive females, all standing agains the walls, yearning to submit to a Dom. But there were no Doms. Not a one.
And when she finds a place where there are some, the waiting list is ginormous. What a girl to do? Desperate times calls for desperate measures.
"Please, Sir, I know you are so very busy, relaxing on the sofa with your soda pop here, but could find it in your busy black heart to whip or spank my ass for just… five minutes? Perhaps? At any point this evening? If it's not too burdensome, I mean, and too disruptive of your busy evening, and if you find me pleasing in any way? I will pay you. A hundred dollars for five minutes? Two hundred? Five? OK, a thousand."
***
"Silly slut! Be gone!" he snapped. "I'm busy! Sign up sheet! In the hall! Might be able to get to you for a few minutes next September."
***
…she stammered, still afraid to meet his dark, tormented gaze. So dark. Like black, but not quite that dark. But dark enough. And super tormented.
All of her interactions with self proclaimed Doms are hilarious.
The reason I'm taking away one star is because the last 30% got a little bit too ranty. It all became about her book being banned from Bookathon.com, about her publisher nagging her to change contents and cover, about her going apeshit because of the negative reviews.
I couldn't help, but wonder if beneath all that humor was a very pissed author, because of what went down on Amazon last year (understandably), and her reaction to negative reviews (which was unnecessary, in my opinion, she could've kept that out of the book. Yes, I've said it :-)).
Tara knew that as an author she was not allowed to respond to criticism, even when it was outlandish and the person couldn't spell or be at all coherent. Even when the person was tossing out non sequiturs and making no logical sense whatsoever. A good author was supposed to to turn the other cheek and not respond in any way.Ouch!
"Yes yes you're quite right, bloated gasbag. I do see your point." "Absolutely, Your Gasbaggedness. I am but a pitiful English-major who's papers are on reserve in the libraries of journalism schools to show graduate students samples of outstanding writing. I only got 780 on the English portion of the SAT. You are so very right to condemn my laughable writing skills with your obviously superior knowledge of writing, no doubt due to your lifelong habit of -- what was it again? -- oh yes -- doing some of the TV Guide crossword puzzle in ink."Other that the last bit, the story was great and very funny. I recommend to those who enjoy a good parody.(I think couple of commas are missing here)
November 1, 2014
Bound for Disappointment cracked me up! It was indeed a parody, from the first scene where writer Tara Febreze's nipples are stiffening over frozen burritos. Savill finds a way to skewer so many things about both being an erotica writer, BDSM and the ways they are talked about, in an utterly hilarious way. I love erotica and I love kink but sometimes a break is in order, and Savill provides it. If you've ever rolled your eyes while reading a kinky story that didn't ring true, you'll want to check out this fun read, where everything is over the top, including the tops.
July 30, 2015
This is a short amusing read that is a send-up of the state of erotica publishing and certain aspects of the BDSM community, plus a few other pet peeves of the author. Since I have a first hand familiarity with the two primary targets of parody in this book, I enjoyed it and acknowledge the basis in reality from which the author's observations have been drawn. I suspect many people into the BDSM lifestyle, who resemble some of the caricatures depicted, may not see the humor or appreciate being teased in this manner. To them I suggest, get over it! If you can't laugh at yourself, you deserve to be laughed at.
October 26, 2014
A Parody, indeed! Hilarious from start to finish and took great delight in sharing with many friends! I hope if you are feeling overwhelmed or underwhelmed with your reading choices of late, take a gander at this riotous tome! Thank you Ms. Savill for daring to write this!
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August 13, 2013Is this Mr. Bean meets BDSM erotica? In this story, it's a stick in the eye poking fun of BDSM writers, reviewers, lifestylers and fans. It shows the disgusting behaviours at an extreme which can be humourous. For me, it wasn't. I think it's because this kind of humour doesn't make me laugh. It isn't that this is tasteless. It's not that the hyperbole situations don't hold a kernel of truth in them. It's a petty mean factor which leaves me unamused.
I'm a huge fan of British comedy. The dry sense of humour mixed with sarcasm brings a twinkle to my eye. However, there is one British comedy in particular which always grates on me. This would be Mr. Bean. Is it funny? Yes, for many people. Can I see the humour in it? Yes, I definitely can. What I don't like about Mr. Bean is his ill will towards others. This is a personal preference. My mother happens to love Mr. Bean. She loves how he consistently screws other people up and ends up also tripping himself. I personally can't stand this kind of person. And this is why the book didn't work for me.
The main character Tara Febreze is the Mr. Bean of BDSM writers. She's the caricature of the "authors behaving badly" set. Sadly enough, she is pretty realistic to what I've seen. There are reviewer/reader in here who completely embody the raving raging reader on 'roids. These are actually pretty accurate to what I've seen in real life too. The one involved in the lifestyle with a wooden spoon? It's best if I leave that one untouched. So is this really a parody or the disappointing truth about the underbelly of writing, reviewing and the BDSM lifestyle?
Now vile characters aside, the writing is okay. My guess is Ms. Savill purposely broke some of the rules of good writing to make the point about a parody. Specifically the shouting all caps are distracting. The writing voice spewed vitriol consistently and constantly. There was no time of rest. It's a bit exhausting which is why a short story fit this style quite well. If this parody followed along the lines of Mike Meyers in Austin Powers, it would have made me giggle. This is because Mike Meyers includes the audience in on the "poking fun". It's a light hearted poking at oneself and everyone else in a campy manner. As I stated - personal preference. This book is recommended to readers who are Mr. Bean fans. Don't leave your wooden spoons unattended!
* Provided by Spanking Romance Reviews
I'm a huge fan of British comedy. The dry sense of humour mixed with sarcasm brings a twinkle to my eye. However, there is one British comedy in particular which always grates on me. This would be Mr. Bean. Is it funny? Yes, for many people. Can I see the humour in it? Yes, I definitely can. What I don't like about Mr. Bean is his ill will towards others. This is a personal preference. My mother happens to love Mr. Bean. She loves how he consistently screws other people up and ends up also tripping himself. I personally can't stand this kind of person. And this is why the book didn't work for me.
The main character Tara Febreze is the Mr. Bean of BDSM writers. She's the caricature of the "authors behaving badly" set. Sadly enough, she is pretty realistic to what I've seen. There are reviewer/reader in here who completely embody the raving raging reader on 'roids. These are actually pretty accurate to what I've seen in real life too. The one involved in the lifestyle with a wooden spoon? It's best if I leave that one untouched. So is this really a parody or the disappointing truth about the underbelly of writing, reviewing and the BDSM lifestyle?
Now vile characters aside, the writing is okay. My guess is Ms. Savill purposely broke some of the rules of good writing to make the point about a parody. Specifically the shouting all caps are distracting. The writing voice spewed vitriol consistently and constantly. There was no time of rest. It's a bit exhausting which is why a short story fit this style quite well. If this parody followed along the lines of Mike Meyers in Austin Powers, it would have made me giggle. This is because Mike Meyers includes the audience in on the "poking fun". It's a light hearted poking at oneself and everyone else in a campy manner. As I stated - personal preference. This book is recommended to readers who are Mr. Bean fans. Don't leave your wooden spoons unattended!
* Provided by Spanking Romance Reviews
December 4, 2014
Now that the BDSM genre is becoming a more accepted genre with the reading public, our authors can have a different kind of fun with it. Just like Space Balls to Sci-Fi and Young Frankenstein to Horror, Sheri Savill gives us Bound for Disappointment: A Parody for our BDSM. She twists and turns the stereotypes of the people who participate in the lifestyle as well as the people who write it to tell a funny as all get out story.
So get comfy, pick up this story and see just how wild and exciting the lives or our favorite BDSM authors can be. Follow author Tara Febreze as she searches for the Dom of her dreams while handling day to day life. Join her at the Smut Writers Conference enjoying her loving fans. Keep your eyes open while she deals with other BDSM authors in the fierce competition to be top in the writing field. Hold your breath as Tara plays with Doms at the local dungeon in her bustling town of 792 people.
Have fun and experience the BDSM world in a whole new way, laughing.
So get comfy, pick up this story and see just how wild and exciting the lives or our favorite BDSM authors can be. Follow author Tara Febreze as she searches for the Dom of her dreams while handling day to day life. Join her at the Smut Writers Conference enjoying her loving fans. Keep your eyes open while she deals with other BDSM authors in the fierce competition to be top in the writing field. Hold your breath as Tara plays with Doms at the local dungeon in her bustling town of 792 people.
Have fun and experience the BDSM world in a whole new way, laughing.
September 6, 2013
There are books you begin te read and you loose a couple of hours of sleep to read the book to the end. This book however, you should put next to your bed and before you go to sleep read two or three pages of it. The book is one big collection of jokes, and if you are reading it you simply will have to tell those – after you have stopped giggling - to your husband (or your dog, or your kitten) out loud. If you are a Dom a have a frail self confidence, or the opposite: a little too much of it: stay as far away from the book as you can. Ms Savill have seen you, have heard you and now it is her turn. Just two or three pages a day, that the dose what the doctor ordered to make you make you feel better and you will fall asleep with a smile on your face.
August 14, 2013
I just finished this and I'm still laughing. This parody on the life of a BDSM writer could only be carried off with such aplomb by a BDSM writer. It really is Laugh Out Loud funny as you follow "Smut" (her word not mine) author Tara Febreze's hunt for the perfect or even imperfect Dom, gets accosted by a disgruntled reader, and bawled out of it by her fed up publisher. Adult only because of the world it portrays and some crude language, this book is a comedy that will entertain anyone with a good sense of humour, not just those interested in BDSM, although some knowledge of the terminology will definitely add to the fun.
September 14, 2013
Bound for Disappointment is a parody that manages to tease and poke at everyone who writes, reads and participates in BDSM. And there are some great digs at bad reviews and virtual creeps. Fast paced with wicked wit, BFD is a laugh-out-loud roller coaster ride through the eyes of an erotica writer who is looking for the perfect Dominant. Mopeds, comb-overs and light taps with a spoon, you won't be disappointed.
November 12, 2014
Tara Febreze is an erotica author and submissive on the prowl for the Dom of her dreams who can make her P**** clench.
Who knew smut could be this funny? Author Sheri Savill has a keen eye and sharp wit and isn’t afraid to use the latter. Bound for Disappointment parodies BDSM and BDSM fiction, lampooning Doms, subs, authors, reviewers and readers. In Savill’s hands, kink, fiction tropes and cliches become weapons of mirth. Treat yourself to good laugh. Buy this book!
Who knew smut could be this funny? Author Sheri Savill has a keen eye and sharp wit and isn’t afraid to use the latter. Bound for Disappointment parodies BDSM and BDSM fiction, lampooning Doms, subs, authors, reviewers and readers. In Savill’s hands, kink, fiction tropes and cliches become weapons of mirth. Treat yourself to good laugh. Buy this book!
November 18, 2014
I really liked this book! I wanted Tara Fabreze's story to keep going.
Ms. Savill has a wonderful sense of humor. I laughed out loud at so many parts. "And her pussy clenched." I can't forget the clenching! So much clenching. DOM refers to Tara has his "saucy clenchet" (I hope I spelled that correctly), and his "clenchmuffin". Too funny!
Whether or not you like, or get into, BDSM stories, Bound For Disappointment is pee-your-pants funny.
Ms. Savill has a wonderful sense of humor. I laughed out loud at so many parts. "And her pussy clenched." I can't forget the clenching! So much clenching. DOM refers to Tara has his "saucy clenchet" (I hope I spelled that correctly), and his "clenchmuffin". Too funny!
Whether or not you like, or get into, BDSM stories, Bound For Disappointment is pee-your-pants funny.
August 16, 2013
I loved this book. While the blurb states this book is a BDSM parody, I found it to be more a book about authors than kinky sex. Anyone who has ever had a book published will be able to relate to the heroine in one way or another. If you are a published author and have ever gotten a bad review (haven't we all) this story will soothe the sting and is so worth checking out.
November 20, 2013
Funny and particularly relevant since AMAZON IS CENSORING EVERYTHING NOW. Fun parody of bdsm erotica, and (I'm sure) an astute send-up of the business of writing erotic fiction. I especially appreciated the allusion to the fun, new practice of book burning...um...I mean censoring...of random books by The Coward, Jeff Bezos. Timely!
July 23, 2013
I will never be able to look at black flip-flops or wooden spoons the same way again.
This book is by far the funniest book I've ever read. Sheri Savill's sense of humor is absolutely insane and she puts it to good use in this book.
This book is by far the funniest book I've ever read. Sheri Savill's sense of humor is absolutely insane and she puts it to good use in this book.
August 7, 2013
This book really cracked me up. It was boisterous, bubbly, snarky and sardonic all wrapped up into one.
I love this authors sense of humor.
I love this authors sense of humor.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews