What do you think?
Rate this book
The Whole Stupid Way We Are
It’s Maine. It’s winter. And it’s FREEZING STINKIN’ COLD! Dinah is wildly worried about her best friend, Skint. He won’t wear a coat. Refuses to wear a coat. It’s twelve degrees out, and he won’t wear a coat. So Dinah’s going to figure out how to help. That’s what Dinah does—she helps. But she’s too busy trying to help to notice that sometimes, she’s doing more harm than good. Seeing the trees instead of the forest? That’s Dinah.
And Skint isn’t going to be the one to tell her. He’s got his own problems. He’s worried about a little boy whose dad won’t let him visit his mom. He’s worried about an elderly couple in a too-cold house down the street.
But the wedge between what drives Dinah and what concerns Skint is wide enough for a big old slab of ice. Because Skint’s own father is in trouble. Because Skint’s mother refuses to ask for help even though she’s at her breaking point. And because Dinah might just decide to…help. She thinks she’s cracking through a sheet of ice, but what’s actually there is an entire iceberg.
And Skint isn’t going to be the one to tell her. He’s got his own problems. He’s worried about a little boy whose dad won’t let him visit his mom. He’s worried about an elderly couple in a too-cold house down the street.
But the wedge between what drives Dinah and what concerns Skint is wide enough for a big old slab of ice. Because Skint’s own father is in trouble. Because Skint’s mother refuses to ask for help even though she’s at her breaking point. And because Dinah might just decide to…help. She thinks she’s cracking through a sheet of ice, but what’s actually there is an entire iceberg.
352 pages, Hardcover
First published February 5, 2013
21 people are currently reading
1642 people want to read
About the author
N. Griffin
14 books44 followersN. Griffin is the the author of the young adult novel THE WHOLE STUPID WAY WE ARE, for which she was named one of Publishers Weekly’s Flying Start Authors of 2013. Her other works for young adults include JUST WRECK IT ALL and TRIGGER, which is coming out on March 29, 2022.
Ms. Griffin also writes a series of cheerful mysteries for younger readers called SMASHIE MCPERTER INVESTIGATES. Titles in that series include SMASHIE MCPERTER AND THE MYSTERY OF ROOM 11, SMASHIE MCPERTER AND THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING GOOP, and SMASHIE MCPERTER AND THE SHOCKING ROCKET ROBBERY, which is coming out in March 2022.
Ms. Griffin also writes a series of cheerful mysteries for younger readers called SMASHIE MCPERTER INVESTIGATES. Titles in that series include SMASHIE MCPERTER AND THE MYSTERY OF ROOM 11, SMASHIE MCPERTER AND THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING GOOP, and SMASHIE MCPERTER AND THE SHOCKING ROCKET ROBBERY, which is coming out in March 2022.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 104 reviews
April 15, 2020
this review is going to be a mess, i am warning you, in a way, it is an impossible book for me to review, because i am really afraid that it is going to reveal things about me that will make you all hate me and never want to be my friend again.
but quickly, to forestall any of that - i liked this book. as a debut novel particularly, it is truly amazing. and reading both ceridwen's and sparrow's unbelievably good reviews - they just make me feel inadequate, as a person.
because i am not a good person. if i were a good person, i would be able to enjoy this book the way they do, with their heart-pieces. but - god - i really did not like the character of dinah. i just didn't. i didn't have a problem with the way she was written, this is not a criticism of the writing, i just felt so angry at her for so much of the book, and i was so frustrated by her immaturity and self-deception, and then i go and read those reviews and i feel scolded, almost, for my own shortcomings as someone who should feel things the way other people feel things.
this book is such a singular construction. we have fifteen-year-old dinah and skint as our two main characters; a girl and a boy who are best friends without one drop of sexual tension. (which - thank you so much for that). but it is like dinah was pulled from a feel-good YA novel from the past: very close family, cheerful to the point of treacly, foot-stomping at injustices; a cyclone of do-goodery offset by the fantasies and energies of a much younger girl. on the one hand, it is exciting to have a girl who is not interested in her appearance or in boyyys, but on the other hand, she does come across as very babyish. while skint seems more like he is drawn from a more contemporary YA problem-novel. he is angry, he is a phenomenal curser, he is also very invested in righting the world's wrongs, but in a much more realistic way. no backward-aging for him. and his home life is not at all ideal - his father is suffering from dementia, and his mother has been trying to hide him from the world and handling it herself, but she is doing a terrible job and is overwhelmed and exhausted and skint is having to carry that, silently.
so it is like worlds colliding, and their friendship is the seam between these two completely different-feeling outlooks.
but i can't stand dinah.
and again - if you have been reading my reader-responses, you know that i have difficulty with the emotional investment in books. it just rarely happens. and this is a book you need to be able to do that with, in order to not want to toss dinah out a window.
but wait - it gets better. because for all my frustration with her "i am going to hold my breath until the world becomes a better place," mentality, the ending of this book was absolute perfection. it was glorious and true-feeling and gasping and i felt justified for my frustration, a little bit.
so even though i am not a good person and i don't think i respond to things the way a human should, i loved this book.
the best scene is the two-page-off from beagie, dinah's baby brother's perspective, when he discovers that his foot can block out the sun and is therefore magic, and the howling inarticulate inability to communicate this discovery. sheer gorgeous kafka, that.
because that's how i feel when i read your reviews, ladies. i want to connect, i just lack whatever synapses control that. and it is, indeed, the whole stupid way i am.
come to my blog!
but quickly, to forestall any of that - i liked this book. as a debut novel particularly, it is truly amazing. and reading both ceridwen's and sparrow's unbelievably good reviews - they just make me feel inadequate, as a person.
because i am not a good person. if i were a good person, i would be able to enjoy this book the way they do, with their heart-pieces. but - god - i really did not like the character of dinah. i just didn't. i didn't have a problem with the way she was written, this is not a criticism of the writing, i just felt so angry at her for so much of the book, and i was so frustrated by her immaturity and self-deception, and then i go and read those reviews and i feel scolded, almost, for my own shortcomings as someone who should feel things the way other people feel things.
this book is such a singular construction. we have fifteen-year-old dinah and skint as our two main characters; a girl and a boy who are best friends without one drop of sexual tension. (which - thank you so much for that). but it is like dinah was pulled from a feel-good YA novel from the past: very close family, cheerful to the point of treacly, foot-stomping at injustices; a cyclone of do-goodery offset by the fantasies and energies of a much younger girl. on the one hand, it is exciting to have a girl who is not interested in her appearance or in boyyys, but on the other hand, she does come across as very babyish. while skint seems more like he is drawn from a more contemporary YA problem-novel. he is angry, he is a phenomenal curser, he is also very invested in righting the world's wrongs, but in a much more realistic way. no backward-aging for him. and his home life is not at all ideal - his father is suffering from dementia, and his mother has been trying to hide him from the world and handling it herself, but she is doing a terrible job and is overwhelmed and exhausted and skint is having to carry that, silently.
so it is like worlds colliding, and their friendship is the seam between these two completely different-feeling outlooks.
but i can't stand dinah.
and again - if you have been reading my reader-responses, you know that i have difficulty with the emotional investment in books. it just rarely happens. and this is a book you need to be able to do that with, in order to not want to toss dinah out a window.
but wait - it gets better. because for all my frustration with her "i am going to hold my breath until the world becomes a better place," mentality, the ending of this book was absolute perfection. it was glorious and true-feeling and gasping and i felt justified for my frustration, a little bit.
so even though i am not a good person and i don't think i respond to things the way a human should, i loved this book.
the best scene is the two-page-off from beagie, dinah's baby brother's perspective, when he discovers that his foot can block out the sun and is therefore magic, and the howling inarticulate inability to communicate this discovery. sheer gorgeous kafka, that.
because that's how i feel when i read your reviews, ladies. i want to connect, i just lack whatever synapses control that. and it is, indeed, the whole stupid way i am.
come to my blog!
November 6, 2012
This made me think of everything. Every single sweet and sad thing that ever happened. Still, it stayed its own, and I loved these kids like crazy. So stupid. This stupid book made me cry from the Donkey Waltz all the way till the end. But, it wasn’t a mean book that was setting out just to make me cry – it wasn’t about that at all. It was about how when you are in ninth grade, you see everything sad, and it is probably your fault, or you don’t see any of the sad things, and later, when you realize your blindness, it kills you. It was about how you are wrong, even when you were probably right. I love these sweet kids.
Anything I say sounds so dumb, and I just picture Dinah and Skint reading it, like overhearing your mom tell a neighbor you’re just going through a phase. No dudes, it’s not a phase. Things are just fucked up and it is your fault sometimes, or it is not your fault, but it still is your responsibility, other times. And sometimes none of it is your fault or your responsibility, and that is the worst.
I have this little notebook I started keeping in college, and at the front of it, I wrote, “Things to Remember,” and then I wrote a list of life lessons underneath. I’ll write something there when I think it’s important, though, admittedly, some of them seem dumb now, and some of them are so vague that I actually don’t know what they mean. But, one of the first ones I wrote was “Elizabeth Vogler,” so that I would remember the part in Persona when Elizabeth Vogler watches the monks light themselves on fire. This book made me think of Elizabeth Vogler watching the monks burn. It made me think of Giulietta Masina in La Strada, of Holden Caulfield waking up to loneliness. It made me think of watching my own parents and grandparents die. It made me think of being a kid and never knowing what it was that I did wrong, but always knowing it was something.
I get so hollowed out and cold when I see stories that use rape and death and violence against powerless people to further shallow plotlines about some idiot getting a girlfriend or a simplistic moral lesson about “Doesn’t that suck for me when other people get raped and killed?” This was the opposite of that. This was perfect. It was funny where it should have been funny. I might even say it was hilarious at some parts. It was crushing where life is crushing. It was interstitially crushing in the unspoken and unrecognized. It was ironically crushing in the things that Dinah didn’t see. It was perfect. It made me laugh and then cry, and then laugh and cry at the same time and generally lose control of emotional reaction. Ultimate FoE, but it was both fantastic and excruciating all at once.
I don’t think it is a good idea for everyone to read this book any time, all the time, because there are some trigger issues – the death of a beloved grandma before the book begins, child and elder abuse and neglect. It is all done so delicately, beautifully, respectfully, that I love it all, but those are not issues everyone needs to see at all times in their life, so judge for yourselves about where you are. If it won’t feel too hurtful to you in opening old wounds, it is so beautiful and so worth it.
I am going to do punching at assholes who say this beautiful, beautiful voice should have sounded less unique and more like, I don’t know, the Wall Street Journal, or something. I am going to do Mockingjay-style punching. Dinah and Skint remind me of everybody beautiful, and they also remind me of ninth-grade me. But, they are themselves, too, and so full and vivid as characters that I know I will come back to them like friends tucked into the beautiful, warm coat of this book. I love this stupid beautiful book. Thank you for writing it for me, N. Griffin. Better than a parcel of treats.
___________________________
I received an ARC of this book from a friend at a bookstore, and I did not exchange anything for it.
Anything I say sounds so dumb, and I just picture Dinah and Skint reading it, like overhearing your mom tell a neighbor you’re just going through a phase. No dudes, it’s not a phase. Things are just fucked up and it is your fault sometimes, or it is not your fault, but it still is your responsibility, other times. And sometimes none of it is your fault or your responsibility, and that is the worst.
I have this little notebook I started keeping in college, and at the front of it, I wrote, “Things to Remember,” and then I wrote a list of life lessons underneath. I’ll write something there when I think it’s important, though, admittedly, some of them seem dumb now, and some of them are so vague that I actually don’t know what they mean. But, one of the first ones I wrote was “Elizabeth Vogler,” so that I would remember the part in Persona when Elizabeth Vogler watches the monks light themselves on fire. This book made me think of Elizabeth Vogler watching the monks burn. It made me think of Giulietta Masina in La Strada, of Holden Caulfield waking up to loneliness. It made me think of watching my own parents and grandparents die. It made me think of being a kid and never knowing what it was that I did wrong, but always knowing it was something.
I get so hollowed out and cold when I see stories that use rape and death and violence against powerless people to further shallow plotlines about some idiot getting a girlfriend or a simplistic moral lesson about “Doesn’t that suck for me when other people get raped and killed?” This was the opposite of that. This was perfect. It was funny where it should have been funny. I might even say it was hilarious at some parts. It was crushing where life is crushing. It was interstitially crushing in the unspoken and unrecognized. It was ironically crushing in the things that Dinah didn’t see. It was perfect. It made me laugh and then cry, and then laugh and cry at the same time and generally lose control of emotional reaction. Ultimate FoE, but it was both fantastic and excruciating all at once.
I don’t think it is a good idea for everyone to read this book any time, all the time, because there are some trigger issues – the death of a beloved grandma before the book begins, child and elder abuse and neglect. It is all done so delicately, beautifully, respectfully, that I love it all, but those are not issues everyone needs to see at all times in their life, so judge for yourselves about where you are. If it won’t feel too hurtful to you in opening old wounds, it is so beautiful and so worth it.
I am going to do punching at assholes who say this beautiful, beautiful voice should have sounded less unique and more like, I don’t know, the Wall Street Journal, or something. I am going to do Mockingjay-style punching. Dinah and Skint remind me of everybody beautiful, and they also remind me of ninth-grade me. But, they are themselves, too, and so full and vivid as characters that I know I will come back to them like friends tucked into the beautiful, warm coat of this book. I love this stupid beautiful book. Thank you for writing it for me, N. Griffin. Better than a parcel of treats.
___________________________
I received an ARC of this book from a friend at a bookstore, and I did not exchange anything for it.
March 7, 2013
After seeing raves from friends whose expressed deep connection with the characters and situations in this book, I was eager to read it. However, this one rubbed me in a couple different wrong ways, not like a certain person's mother.
Skint and Dinah are friends who are opposite in how life comes at them. I use that deliberately, instead of saying they approach life, that they face constant frustration in others and themselves and appear to have little control or direction.
Dinah is described as being 'unable to see the forest for the trees,' so concerned with other peoples' problems that she doesn't see the consequences of her "help" and also, as far as I can see, doesn't really succeed in helping many people due to a flitteriness of character that I found aggravating. I knew a Dinah, know her still. I sat next to her for much of high school and while I love her, dish and spill with her (conversationally, not like a certain person's mother), and view her as being someone I will know to the very end, I would've happily decked her on many, many, many occasions. Dinah reminded me of her but without the warm fuzzy friendship blanket. Only the irritation.
Skint, now, Skint hurt. His story is of seeing loved ones deteriorate, the breaking of a caregiver's empathy, and the blindness that comes with those who are close to you. He could be described as being unable to see the trees for the forest, absorbing the blows of world conflicts instead of understanding the ones at home.
Sigh. Maybe I didn't like this book because it brushed closely past my fears. I see my parents becoming more fragile and I worry about them. When I was very young, we visited an old couple who had both begun to lose their memories - I was too young to know to act like everything was okay. Is this what my grumpy mother and father will go through someday? Please, God or science, don't let that happen.
I do admit, there were beautiful passages that broke through even my crossed arms.
The end didn't work for me. I wanted more resolution to this. More happiness. So I give this book just 2 stars for moving me in a way I didn't like and then leaving me unbalanced. But that is just my single, insignificant reaction that is heavily influenced by tired eyes, a general uncertainty, and too many Cheez-Its. It was magic for everyone else I know who has read it. It might be for you, too.
Skint and Dinah are friends who are opposite in how life comes at them. I use that deliberately, instead of saying they approach life, that they face constant frustration in others and themselves and appear to have little control or direction.
Dinah is described as being 'unable to see the forest for the trees,' so concerned with other peoples' problems that she doesn't see the consequences of her "help" and also, as far as I can see, doesn't really succeed in helping many people due to a flitteriness of character that I found aggravating. I knew a Dinah, know her still. I sat next to her for much of high school and while I love her, dish and spill with her (conversationally, not like a certain person's mother), and view her as being someone I will know to the very end, I would've happily decked her on many, many, many occasions. Dinah reminded me of her but without the warm fuzzy friendship blanket. Only the irritation.
Skint, now, Skint hurt. His story is of seeing loved ones deteriorate, the breaking of a caregiver's empathy, and the blindness that comes with those who are close to you. He could be described as being unable to see the trees for the forest, absorbing the blows of world conflicts instead of understanding the ones at home.
Sigh. Maybe I didn't like this book because it brushed closely past my fears. I see my parents becoming more fragile and I worry about them. When I was very young, we visited an old couple who had both begun to lose their memories - I was too young to know to act like everything was okay. Is this what my grumpy mother and father will go through someday? Please, God or science, don't let that happen.
I do admit, there were beautiful passages that broke through even my crossed arms.
The end didn't work for me. I wanted more resolution to this. More happiness. So I give this book just 2 stars for moving me in a way I didn't like and then leaving me unbalanced. But that is just my single, insignificant reaction that is heavily influenced by tired eyes, a general uncertainty, and too many Cheez-Its. It was magic for everyone else I know who has read it. It might be for you, too.
October 18, 2013
Well, this book made me cry. And I didn't like it (weirdly enough, this happened with The Book Thief too, though that was written considerably better than this one). Well, I didn't HATE it. It did make me cry, which is pretty rare and indicates that the book did something right.
The weakest aspect of this book was the characters. I only liked maybe three characters altogether, and none of them are mains. They are the little kid (forgot his name, sorry it's vague), the little kid's , and the little kid's mother. I absolutely could not STAND anyone else. Here's a list of people I hated (in this order): 1. Skint's mom, 2. the little kid's (forgot his name) dad, Dinah, Dinah's parents, Skint, and Mrs. Bitch (or whatever her name was).
The main characters' intentions are good, "Hey, those old people who are always on the porch waving to us, we could give them a care package!", but their execution and sheer personality is just revolting. Dinah has some weird "I feel so bad for everybody/everybody needs MY help" complex, all while liking to pretend that actual problems don't exist (to Skint's credit, he does point this out to her, but this accusation results in a self-pity party "Oohh your right I'm a terrible person waah!!!"
Skint has the same thing, but to a lesser degree and a more morbid look at the world. Skint is constantly like "FUCK I CURSE LIKE A SAILOR! Monks are being tortured across the world; people suck, and I need to save this little kid from his own family . Really Skint? Your vendetta against Mrs. Bitch (or whatever her name was) was never fully realized (nor was her story arc finished, as one of the many story threads that are left unresolved ; was she really not handing out the turkeys on purpose? We are never ever told what happened! Mrs. Bitch is evil, and that's all. Of course there's doubt, but... Next Story Arc! We never know for sure what was going on there. Plus, Skint, you're not Robin Hood, and even if you were, being the good guy and all, .
The worst part of the book was how it portrayed into a massive horrible betrayal. How terrible! You stopped ! FOR SHAAAAMMEE!!! I can understand that Skint feels like his world has ended , but no! The book cover goes into how Dinah's helped "too much" (the exact words that made me bother reading to the end, to see what damage she did, how, and how she was going to resolve it). But nope, this was the BIG moment.
Well. That was horrible. I kindly refer you to a much better book with sort of same subject matter: Crazy. This does so much better at exploring this type of situation . A very similar sort of situation happens in this, and . What did this book do?
So, considering how much I've bashed this book for the past 750 words or so, how on earth or when on earth did I tear up?
The weakest aspect of this book was the characters. I only liked maybe three characters altogether, and none of them are mains. They are the little kid (forgot his name, sorry it's vague), the little kid's , and the little kid's mother. I absolutely could not STAND anyone else. Here's a list of people I hated (in this order): 1. Skint's mom, 2. the little kid's (forgot his name) dad, Dinah, Dinah's parents, Skint, and Mrs. Bitch (or whatever her name was).
The main characters' intentions are good, "Hey, those old people who are always on the porch waving to us, we could give them a care package!", but their execution and sheer personality is just revolting. Dinah has some weird "I feel so bad for everybody/everybody needs MY help" complex, all while liking to pretend that actual problems don't exist (to Skint's credit, he does point this out to her, but this accusation results in a self-pity party "Oohh your right I'm a terrible person waah!!!"
Skint has the same thing, but to a lesser degree and a more morbid look at the world. Skint is constantly like "FUCK I CURSE LIKE A SAILOR! Monks are being tortured across the world; people suck, and I need to save this little kid from his own family . Really Skint? Your vendetta against Mrs. Bitch (or whatever her name was) was never fully realized (nor was her story arc finished, as one of the many story threads that are left unresolved ; was she really not handing out the turkeys on purpose? We are never ever told what happened! Mrs. Bitch is evil, and that's all. Of course there's doubt, but... Next Story Arc! We never know for sure what was going on there. Plus, Skint, you're not Robin Hood, and even if you were, being the good guy and all, .
The worst part of the book was how it portrayed into a massive horrible betrayal. How terrible! You stopped ! FOR SHAAAAMMEE!!! I can understand that Skint feels like his world has ended , but no! The book cover goes into how Dinah's helped "too much" (the exact words that made me bother reading to the end, to see what damage she did, how, and how she was going to resolve it). But nope, this was the BIG moment.
Well. That was horrible. I kindly refer you to a much better book with sort of same subject matter: Crazy. This does so much better at exploring this type of situation . A very similar sort of situation happens in this, and . What did this book do?
So, considering how much I've bashed this book for the past 750 words or so, how on earth or when on earth did I tear up?
December 16, 2012
12/12 Bumping this up a star- it's stayed with me, whole, all the time since I read it. I think about Skint a lot. No, really. A lot.
8/12 Disclaimer first: I am friends with the author of this remarkable book, though I flatter myself that I'm reasonably objective nonetheless.
Wow, this book packs an emotional wallop that left me reeling. Despite it being written in present tense (which I loathe, almost always) it drew me in and made me care so much about Skint & Dinah and their lives that I was reluctant to get to the end. The story is almost breathlessly told (perhaps the present tense adds to that feeling) and one is swept along panting. There is one mini-chapter told from the perspective of Dinah's baby brother that is one of the most delightful vignettes I've ever read, but the bulk of the story is fraught with peril, with emotional weight, with subtexts and undercurrents.
More than a solid first effort, this is a damn fine book.
8/12 Disclaimer first: I am friends with the author of this remarkable book, though I flatter myself that I'm reasonably objective nonetheless.
Wow, this book packs an emotional wallop that left me reeling. Despite it being written in present tense (which I loathe, almost always) it drew me in and made me care so much about Skint & Dinah and their lives that I was reluctant to get to the end. The story is almost breathlessly told (perhaps the present tense adds to that feeling) and one is swept along panting. There is one mini-chapter told from the perspective of Dinah's baby brother that is one of the most delightful vignettes I've ever read, but the bulk of the story is fraught with peril, with emotional weight, with subtexts and undercurrents.
More than a solid first effort, this is a damn fine book.
August 19, 2013
It's friday and turned out to be a holiday yet I still expected to follow the established norm of my days. I got up not early enough to have to feel like compensating for it in the afternoon, nor late enough that my breath turned stale. Deep foreboding clouded my brows when I realized I had to crack open my scribble over physics textbook for the upcoming test but lo! miracles of miracles, mysteries of mysteries, the words were soaked up by my brain easily as if I'd been partaking of that magic bread of Doraemon's(don't judge me!).
__________________________________________
Doraemon has appetizing gadgets and Nobita can't even appreciate that! I remember this episode. Basically, what happened was that, as is his way, Nobita turns up crying and ugly-pouting to Doraemon and demands a gadget that would help him prepare for his test. How it works: Place it on your notes, the bread will copy it and all you gotta do is snarf it down. What I hated was that Nobita didn't even put in an effort. He could have made a sandwich, hell he could have eaten it with jam or butter! But no, the lazyass only cares about misusing and, ultimately, losing the gadgets. Idiot.
___________________________________________
I missed this other omen of things to come. Moving on, I somehow managed to cram it all in just an hour and kicked up my legs, smiling an extremely smug smile at having shown up to imaginary physics god, with hair distinctly reminiscent of Einstein, who purportedly had nothing better to do but whispering sinister nothings of discouragement in my ears. Cutting back on digressions, my hands fell upon The Whole Stupid Way We Are and I fell into Winter, Maine in one clean swoop.
The day passed amiably enough, or so it seemed on the outside. Until I was behind fifty pages of the ending and my sister and mother decided to flip a figurative to my father for taking my sis's vehicular transport instead of his own to go to places where only her vehicular transport can take her and yada, yada with the family shenanigans. We went out and it was a clear sky, total unreflecting of my inner turmoil. Then somehow, I was at the last page and it was still a blue with white icing. Then again somehow, my eyes were brimming and my sister was eyeing me uncertainly. And she provoked me. And it literally started raining cats and dogs! And my eyes literally flooded! And my brother swore he won't talk to me if I cried ever again and brought down the rapid dum-dum-dum of rainwater tapping away on the car's roof. And my mother literally went, 'awwwwwwww' and my sister did say she had been waiting the whole day for that as her go-to sign to read the book.
And that is the story I have for today that I typed out because I am really very scared to review this book.
I have many references for the Whole Stupid Way We Are. About the form of my crying: it wasn't The Piper's Son bad/good where I cried throughout, but The Angels Take Manhattan bad/good where my stream started soon after the Amy's afterword, after the episode ended(and still hasn't stopped)and I was alone. So, so alone. About the peculiar kind of hollowness inside me: the way it was with Friday Brown. The only reason I'm not wailing still is because I'm in the same room as my siblings.
This is the story of two friends, Dinah and Skint. Skint refuses to wear coats and Dinah can't stop feeling the cold, for herself, for him, especially. I love these two within an inch of their lives. Dinah is after Skint who's after everybody else. The poor people are being conned, KT wants to bake with his mum, the donkey doesn't dance to the rhythm, the choir sings horrendously and so many instances comprise this book. The setting is a snowy holiday and sad, glorious, troubled adolescence. It's written in third-person present from mostly Dinah's perspective and the narration is fabulous. I love how every portion/chapter ended on melodious lines. It's a character-driven story and the characters make me weep for them, in a good way. Not really good because of their stipulation, but they are so great- you know what I mean. The story fills me up with vacuousness and breathlessness. It had laughter and blows doled out perfectly. It did not manipulate my emotions, just let me be in my misery and it wasn't gratuitous with the feels and the bad stuff. Seemed like as if the book were itself crying and howling, telling this story, with silent wind whistles and old snow. I love its softness in the most brutal parts, its gentleness and the snow inside and outside.
This is youth in its shittiest and friendship at its loveliest and most-trying-est. It's a beautiful, austere story that I just can't talk about more- and yes, I'm crying again(my sister is busy with her studies and my brother's out).
__________________________________________
Doraemon has appetizing gadgets and Nobita can't even appreciate that! I remember this episode. Basically, what happened was that, as is his way, Nobita turns up crying and ugly-pouting to Doraemon and demands a gadget that would help him prepare for his test. How it works: Place it on your notes, the bread will copy it and all you gotta do is snarf it down. What I hated was that Nobita didn't even put in an effort. He could have made a sandwich, hell he could have eaten it with jam or butter! But no, the lazyass only cares about misusing and, ultimately, losing the gadgets. Idiot.
___________________________________________
I missed this other omen of things to come. Moving on, I somehow managed to cram it all in just an hour and kicked up my legs, smiling an extremely smug smile at having shown up to imaginary physics god, with hair distinctly reminiscent of Einstein, who purportedly had nothing better to do but whispering sinister nothings of discouragement in my ears. Cutting back on digressions, my hands fell upon The Whole Stupid Way We Are and I fell into Winter, Maine in one clean swoop.
The day passed amiably enough, or so it seemed on the outside. Until I was behind fifty pages of the ending and my sister and mother decided to flip a figurative to my father for taking my sis's vehicular transport instead of his own to go to places where only her vehicular transport can take her and yada, yada with the family shenanigans. We went out and it was a clear sky, total unreflecting of my inner turmoil. Then somehow, I was at the last page and it was still a blue with white icing. Then again somehow, my eyes were brimming and my sister was eyeing me uncertainly. And she provoked me. And it literally started raining cats and dogs! And my eyes literally flooded! And my brother swore he won't talk to me if I cried ever again and brought down the rapid dum-dum-dum of rainwater tapping away on the car's roof. And my mother literally went, 'awwwwwwww' and my sister did say she had been waiting the whole day for that as her go-to sign to read the book.
And that is the story I have for today that I typed out because I am really very scared to review this book.
I have many references for the Whole Stupid Way We Are. About the form of my crying: it wasn't The Piper's Son bad/good where I cried throughout, but The Angels Take Manhattan bad/good where my stream started soon after the Amy's afterword, after the episode ended(and still hasn't stopped)and I was alone. So, so alone. About the peculiar kind of hollowness inside me: the way it was with Friday Brown. The only reason I'm not wailing still is because I'm in the same room as my siblings.
This is the story of two friends, Dinah and Skint. Skint refuses to wear coats and Dinah can't stop feeling the cold, for herself, for him, especially. I love these two within an inch of their lives. Dinah is after Skint who's after everybody else. The poor people are being conned, KT wants to bake with his mum, the donkey doesn't dance to the rhythm, the choir sings horrendously and so many instances comprise this book. The setting is a snowy holiday and sad, glorious, troubled adolescence. It's written in third-person present from mostly Dinah's perspective and the narration is fabulous. I love how every portion/chapter ended on melodious lines. It's a character-driven story and the characters make me weep for them, in a good way. Not really good because of their stipulation, but they are so great- you know what I mean. The story fills me up with vacuousness and breathlessness. It had laughter and blows doled out perfectly. It did not manipulate my emotions, just let me be in my misery and it wasn't gratuitous with the feels and the bad stuff. Seemed like as if the book were itself crying and howling, telling this story, with silent wind whistles and old snow. I love its softness in the most brutal parts, its gentleness and the snow inside and outside.
This is youth in its shittiest and friendship at its loveliest and most-trying-est. It's a beautiful, austere story that I just can't talk about more- and yes, I'm crying again(my sister is busy with her studies and my brother's out).
February 18, 2013
It's finally here!
Full disclosure - the author is a friend of mine, and I adore her. She is trying very hard to maintain separation between "real life" and "author life", so I'll say no more (except that I MUST have an FoE with her). When the book arrived, she sent me an e-mail asking me to be honest in my review, and so I will.
This book is lovely.
So lovely, that I read it sloooowly, to make it last.
The reasons anyone would love it - it's filled with heartache without ever being desperately sad (OK, there is ONE part that was that sad. In fact, I found myself physically cringing while reading it, and though it was hard, it's a gifted author who can make a reader feel that way.) I also loved that I found myself in both Dinah and Skint - as a young adult myself I was fairly sheltered, but like Skint I felt things so deeply - I was constantly worried (and had nightmares about) nuclear war, sad animals, older people, the very things Skint focuses on. And, slight spoiler, . And the ending - perfection. Also perfection? Beagie point of view!
Additional reasons I love it - I could hear the author's voice throughout, and it made me smile every time. After a few minutes of reading I went to get post-it notes so I could mark some lines and not ruin my copy:
-the "FoE"s! "This evening is slated to be the latest installment in what Dinah and Skint call their "Fantastic or Excruciating?" adventures...an FoE is an entertainment where you can't tell beforehand whether it will be fabulous and surreal or only just a misery-making fiasco that will make you ache for the performers involved because it's all so awful and the performers are unaware." (10)
-parcels of treats!
-"Come eat breakfast foods with me." (166)
-"Aren't you supposed to be down in the Sunday school? "I'm being out here right now instead." (210)
-And so, so many more.
It's just wonderful.
Full disclosure - the author is a friend of mine, and I adore her. She is trying very hard to maintain separation between "real life" and "author life", so I'll say no more (except that I MUST have an FoE with her). When the book arrived, she sent me an e-mail asking me to be honest in my review, and so I will.
This book is lovely.
So lovely, that I read it sloooowly, to make it last.
The reasons anyone would love it - it's filled with heartache without ever being desperately sad (OK, there is ONE part that was that sad. In fact, I found myself physically cringing while reading it, and though it was hard, it's a gifted author who can make a reader feel that way.) I also loved that I found myself in both Dinah and Skint - as a young adult myself I was fairly sheltered, but like Skint I felt things so deeply - I was constantly worried (and had nightmares about) nuclear war, sad animals, older people, the very things Skint focuses on. And, slight spoiler, . And the ending - perfection. Also perfection? Beagie point of view!
Additional reasons I love it - I could hear the author's voice throughout, and it made me smile every time. After a few minutes of reading I went to get post-it notes so I could mark some lines and not ruin my copy:
-the "FoE"s! "This evening is slated to be the latest installment in what Dinah and Skint call their "Fantastic or Excruciating?" adventures...an FoE is an entertainment where you can't tell beforehand whether it will be fabulous and surreal or only just a misery-making fiasco that will make you ache for the performers involved because it's all so awful and the performers are unaware." (10)
-parcels of treats!
-"Come eat breakfast foods with me." (166)
-"Aren't you supposed to be down in the Sunday school? "I'm being out here right now instead." (210)
-And so, so many more.
It's just wonderful.
February 19, 2013
A raw, gritty, and ultimately brave debut novel from break-out new author, N.Griffin. A quite unexpected story about quite unexpected teens. This isn't for your The Clique readers (though they would benefit threefold from reading it). It isn't juicy, it isn't sexy, nor filled with gratuitous drug use and sex in a time when YA books seem to be gorging themselves of those themes. No, this is a brave story. A quiet story. A story yearning to be told - a story about the misfits. Two in particular, Dinah and Skint. Dinah is the quirky daughter of two well-intentioned parents and is perfectly content to tra-la-la through life in her own little protective bubble. In no rush to grow up, but in the 9th ninth grade, is that to her own peril? Is her true nature evolved, or is it stilted in an unconscious effort to maintain her innocence in world where rawness and meanness are par for the course? She is an extension of our existential self, as she asks, as she yearns, as she questions her faith:
And then there's Skint, a true teenage loner if there every was. All skin and bones, self-righteousness, indignation, and sensitivity. Overwhelmed by life lived both far and near - by monks burning themselves in Nepal on the other side of the world and by a mother brought to the very edge of sanity while caring for his dementia-damaged father. He asks what is the point, why even bother in spite of all the love he has? He suffers, is in pain, and turns away from his one true friend, the always effervescent Dinah.
I can't wait to read what N.Griffin has in store for us with her second novel. She is a rising star and a writer to watch.
(I received an ARC, but no expectations were put on my review.)
"All this wearing out, giving out, people leaving and being left; people leaving, gone forever so you can never be with them again. Never anymore singing or holding their hands. What a way for things to be."
And then there's Skint, a true teenage loner if there every was. All skin and bones, self-righteousness, indignation, and sensitivity. Overwhelmed by life lived both far and near - by monks burning themselves in Nepal on the other side of the world and by a mother brought to the very edge of sanity while caring for his dementia-damaged father. He asks what is the point, why even bother in spite of all the love he has? He suffers, is in pain, and turns away from his one true friend, the always effervescent Dinah.
I can't wait to read what N.Griffin has in store for us with her second novel. She is a rising star and a writer to watch.
(I received an ARC, but no expectations were put on my review.)
July 26, 2017
2.5/5
Meh. I should have listened to the reviews, but I trusted my gut and wasted my time reading this book. I wanted to like this one, I really did. I tried hard, I was determined not to DNF it.
1) It was SO slow!
2) How old are the characters? Apparently they're fifteen, but they acted painfully immaturely, I could not take this seriously! It didn't ring true to me; I know that fifteen year olds can act out and yell at their parents, but seriously they acted like ten year olds!
3) SO. MUCH. DRAMA. I cannot stand it. And it felt way over-the-top, again, something I just could not take seriously.
4) The dementia aspect. I think parts of it were really spot-on. There are lots of families who struggle immensely and are stuck in that denial phase, trying to care for that person and pretending that things are fine, we don't need a carer or to put him/her in a home, thanks. It was quite sad to see how much help they needed, this shows an example of what happens when the system fails to adequately support a family in need.
5) I quite liked the Rural Routes and what they represent. We don't ever get to know them, but, like Skint and Dinah, we get a feel that they are lovely people who may have their own issues but we won't ever really know. You never really know until you take that step forward and try.
6) Ughhhhhh did I mention how slow it was??
7) The ending was so unsatisfying. I felt like it wasn't completely finished, there was still a bit more of story to tell.
8) Third-person perspective. So much disconnect! I didn't care about the characters, could not relate to them, could not anything them at all! :S
Now......... make a review! Please. *tears up* *sniffle* Why?!?!?! This book, how do I even review it? Can I just not? Eh. I didn't even find any quotes I could include. :S I'm sorry, I tried to like this one!
Meh. I should have listened to the reviews, but I trusted my gut and wasted my time reading this book. I wanted to like this one, I really did. I tried hard, I was determined not to DNF it.
1) It was SO slow!
2) How old are the characters? Apparently they're fifteen, but they acted painfully immaturely, I could not take this seriously! It didn't ring true to me; I know that fifteen year olds can act out and yell at their parents, but seriously they acted like ten year olds!
3) SO. MUCH. DRAMA. I cannot stand it. And it felt way over-the-top, again, something I just could not take seriously.
4) The dementia aspect. I think parts of it were really spot-on. There are lots of families who struggle immensely and are stuck in that denial phase, trying to care for that person and pretending that things are fine, we don't need a carer or to put him/her in a home, thanks. It was quite sad to see how much help they needed, this shows an example of what happens when the system fails to adequately support a family in need.
5) I quite liked the Rural Routes and what they represent. We don't ever get to know them, but, like Skint and Dinah, we get a feel that they are lovely people who may have their own issues but we won't ever really know. You never really know until you take that step forward and try.
6) Ughhhhhh did I mention how slow it was??
7) The ending was so unsatisfying. I felt like it wasn't completely finished, there was still a bit more of story to tell.
8) Third-person perspective. So much disconnect! I didn't care about the characters, could not relate to them, could not anything them at all! :S
Now......... make a review! Please. *tears up* *sniffle* Why?!?!?! This book, how do I even review it? Can I just not? Eh. I didn't even find any quotes I could include. :S I'm sorry, I tried to like this one!
February 27, 2024
i bought this book 10 years ago and im glad i finally read it
July 16, 2013
Read for Librarian Book Club
I didn't like this book, though in discussing it with the book group I was reminded about some rather charming elements of the book that had gotten lost in my annoyance. So there are good things and the overall feeling by the members in the group was that it was very, very good.
I was initially put off by the huge amount of profanity spoken by the main characters. However, at about the same time I was reading this book, I also began reading my journals from late junior high and observed that the swearing level in the book was pretty much spot-on. I had forgotten how much we swore at that time.
I felt like this book was a (too) long, (too) slow build to a climax that was then a brief flash and it was gone. Aside from that problem, the author also threw in a confusing sentence or two in the last few moments of the book that left me wondering just what happened with one of the characters. This annoyed me too.
I didn't like this book, though in discussing it with the book group I was reminded about some rather charming elements of the book that had gotten lost in my annoyance. So there are good things and the overall feeling by the members in the group was that it was very, very good.
I was initially put off by the huge amount of profanity spoken by the main characters. However, at about the same time I was reading this book, I also began reading my journals from late junior high and observed that the swearing level in the book was pretty much spot-on. I had forgotten how much we swore at that time.
I felt like this book was a (too) long, (too) slow build to a climax that was then a brief flash and it was gone. Aside from that problem, the author also threw in a confusing sentence or two in the last few moments of the book that left me wondering just what happened with one of the characters. This annoyed me too.
February 15, 2013
I loved this book. Someday I will write a review for it. But there was an unexpected thing in it which was a trigger for me and I was not prepared. I feel like there is death and just general horrible crap all around me right now and this was not the time for me to pick up this wonderful heart achy book.
October 12, 2012
Amazing, vivid writing. A piece of ice in your heart that will twist and twist again; thank god for the baby brother.
October 8, 2013
This book was going to get 4 stars until the ending - which is a non-ending, entirely too ambiguous for my tastes. I understand it's a stylistic choice, but that doesn't have to make me happy about it.
Skint and Dinah are best friends united by their kookiness. This is a kind of slice-of-life book in which there are a lot of issues simmering in the background - an abused little boy the pair befriend, Skint's imploding home life (his dad has early-onset dementia, his mother is destroying herself and her family by trying to do everything herself and refusing all help out of shame and pride), and an antagonist in the form of a smug, self-righteous church volunteer that has it out for Skint & Dinah. But there's not much action or momentum and it kind of meanders around until the climax where it just gets all kinds of fractured and intense and oh my God that ending what the hell.
This is a weird, weird book. The dialogue and style felt oddly neo-noirish. It’s that same kind of staccato sentences and sideways talk of movies like Cosmopolis and the excellent Brick (starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt). It also had the random passages that were all metaphor and no plot – for example, the old man (Walter?) and his dancing donkey. Besides establishing that Skint and Dinah are more than a little weird – and that’s clear from the rest of the book anyway – it serves no actual plot purposes. But there’s a lot of meaning there that I’m not even going to begin to interpret.
This book may be weird and slow in parts, but it has a lot of positives going for it. I really, really loved the scene where Dinah & Skint confront their nemesis about the fact that she passed out old fish to the poor last Christmas instead of the turkeys she was supposed to deliver from the church's food pantry. Because she’s such a smug bitch that she thinks unemployed people don’t deserve better and yet still thinks she’s holier-than-thou because she is a huge volunteer (which I think she does just to make her feel better about herself and to give herself more opportunities to look down on other people). That scene was intense and thrilling and all kinds of brilliant.
And I think the issue of Skint's family situation and Dinah's decision to tell someone else about it or not and the possible fallout from that is dramatic and powerful. That was, I think, the central drama of the book, but we were cheated of a resolution.
Which brings me to the ending.
Skint and Dinah are best friends united by their kookiness. This is a kind of slice-of-life book in which there are a lot of issues simmering in the background - an abused little boy the pair befriend, Skint's imploding home life (his dad has early-onset dementia, his mother is destroying herself and her family by trying to do everything herself and refusing all help out of shame and pride), and an antagonist in the form of a smug, self-righteous church volunteer that has it out for Skint & Dinah. But there's not much action or momentum and it kind of meanders around until the climax where it just gets all kinds of fractured and intense and oh my God that ending what the hell.
This is a weird, weird book. The dialogue and style felt oddly neo-noirish. It’s that same kind of staccato sentences and sideways talk of movies like Cosmopolis and the excellent Brick (starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt). It also had the random passages that were all metaphor and no plot – for example, the old man (Walter?) and his dancing donkey. Besides establishing that Skint and Dinah are more than a little weird – and that’s clear from the rest of the book anyway – it serves no actual plot purposes. But there’s a lot of meaning there that I’m not even going to begin to interpret.
This book may be weird and slow in parts, but it has a lot of positives going for it. I really, really loved the scene where Dinah & Skint confront their nemesis about the fact that she passed out old fish to the poor last Christmas instead of the turkeys she was supposed to deliver from the church's food pantry. Because she’s such a smug bitch that she thinks unemployed people don’t deserve better and yet still thinks she’s holier-than-thou because she is a huge volunteer (which I think she does just to make her feel better about herself and to give herself more opportunities to look down on other people). That scene was intense and thrilling and all kinds of brilliant.
And I think the issue of Skint's family situation and Dinah's decision to tell someone else about it or not and the possible fallout from that is dramatic and powerful. That was, I think, the central drama of the book, but we were cheated of a resolution.
Which brings me to the ending.
no-thanks
April 2, 2013mehhhh. I was ready to love this book, I really was, because it seems so thoughtful. But it's just not meant to be. Here are some clues:
1) the profanity. now, it's funny, because I just read another book that was chock-full of profanity (well, maybe it wasn't that bad, but worse than this book), and it didn't bother me nearly as much. but I don't like hearing so many f-words out of the mouth of 15 year olds. It doesn't seem realistic, actually. But hey, I was homeschooled, so what do i know.
2) the characters. I just don't care about the characters. maybe because Dinah seems to be a pushover - maybe she reminds me too much of myself. and I just couldn't muster enough sympathy for Skint, or his mother, even though I understand their situation.
3) the whole stupid way the author is hopeless about everything. I mean, I sort of skimmed to the end, but nowhere did I find anything significantly uplifting and encouraging, and I think books for teens really, really need to have flickers of hope, if not a blazingly triumphant, uplifting ending.
Reading this feels like reading The Fault in Their Stars without the romance, and so...I give up.
1) the profanity. now, it's funny, because I just read another book that was chock-full of profanity (well, maybe it wasn't that bad, but worse than this book), and it didn't bother me nearly as much. but I don't like hearing so many f-words out of the mouth of 15 year olds. It doesn't seem realistic, actually. But hey, I was homeschooled, so what do i know.
2) the characters. I just don't care about the characters. maybe because Dinah seems to be a pushover - maybe she reminds me too much of myself. and I just couldn't muster enough sympathy for Skint, or his mother, even though I understand their situation.
3) the whole stupid way the author is hopeless about everything. I mean, I sort of skimmed to the end, but nowhere did I find anything significantly uplifting and encouraging, and I think books for teens really, really need to have flickers of hope, if not a blazingly triumphant, uplifting ending.
Reading this feels like reading The Fault in Their Stars without the romance, and so...I give up.
January 25, 2013
Dinah and Skint have been friends for a long, long time. They have the fierce, intense sort of bond that odd kids can form to keep the rest of the world bay.
Dinah has gentle, loving parents and a baby brother they are all wild about.
Skint has a father sunk deep into dementia and a mother who is furious, despairing and in over her head. He misses the father he used to have, understands and hates his mother simultaneously and colludes in the attempt to keep his dad's condition secret.
Skint and Dinah are sensitive and hurting, seething at injustice in the world at large and in their own lives in small-town Maine in the dead of winter.
Dinah knows Skint is in trouble. For one thing, he won't wear a coat, which borders on suicidal, and then there are all the subjects and people she avoids discussing for fear of upsetting him. She aches to help him.
Sometimes love isn't enough. And sometimes love is all there is. Life is so unfair. And the world is still beautiful.
Dinah has gentle, loving parents and a baby brother they are all wild about.
Skint has a father sunk deep into dementia and a mother who is furious, despairing and in over her head. He misses the father he used to have, understands and hates his mother simultaneously and colludes in the attempt to keep his dad's condition secret.
Skint and Dinah are sensitive and hurting, seething at injustice in the world at large and in their own lives in small-town Maine in the dead of winter.
Dinah knows Skint is in trouble. For one thing, he won't wear a coat, which borders on suicidal, and then there are all the subjects and people she avoids discussing for fear of upsetting him. She aches to help him.
Sometimes love isn't enough. And sometimes love is all there is. Life is so unfair. And the world is still beautiful.
February 21, 2016
I have mixed feelings about this book. If I just would have read the ending I would have only given it two stars but I admit the beginning got me hooked and I loved the relationship between the characters. My real problem with this book is that I hate that the author left the ending so unresolved. I accept bad endings to books if they at least give you a little closure and actually tell what happened or give you an epilogue to what happened in the future, but this book didn't. The author has Skint run away and just never come back leaving Dinah (his best friend), his mother, the rest of the town, and the reader not knowing where he went or if he will ever come back. Plus they author didn't solve ANY of the problems he started, leaving you at the end of the book in awe of how stupid (pun intended) the ending was.
(Leave a comment telling me what you thought of my review.)
(Leave a comment telling me what you thought of my review.)
March 22, 2014
This was darling, and really moving. YA, two friends, they have problems but it doesn't feel like a problem novel. I love this kind of story where even the minor characters come across as very real people and you completely believe have their own entire back stories. It's nice, nice, nice writing, and the dialogue really hit the right note (so often the weak link in YA).
I have to say, because I am a mean person with a cold, cold heart, that if I ever encountered a Handcreature, I would break someone's wrist. I would feel badly about it after, but confident that Handcreature initiated the conflict.
I have to say, because I am a mean person with a cold, cold heart, that if I ever encountered a Handcreature, I would break someone's wrist. I would feel badly about it after, but confident that Handcreature initiated the conflict.
November 11, 2013
As I am friends with the author, I will do my best to not be biased. The Whole Stupid Way We Are is so relatable to someone who thinks as hard as I do, and I caught myself wanting my own Skint or my own Dinah throughout the book. It captures the essence of every family is dysfunctional in its own way with anecdotes of sarcasm hilarity that made the devastating state of Skint's dad's condition bearable. I wished for Skint, related to Dinah, understood Beagie, and wondered for so many other characters. The conclusion is up to your imagination, just the way I like it.
April 26, 2013
This book is beautifully written, at times taking on an almost magical tinge. But the things that happen to Dinah and Skint are very real, and over the course of just a couple of days things go out of control for them both. As much as the ending made sense, I was hoping for a happy, almost fairy tale conclusion to the story. Instead it's realistic, and sad, and while it's still so beautiful it left me in an uncomfortable state. Still recommended, but just watch out.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 29, 2015
The first thing that I want to say is that I can't stand this book! I found that there was no point to it. This book has the most frustrating and annoying characters I've ever read about and in the end, I saw no resolution so to me, it felt like a waste of time.
February 28, 2013
A heartbreaking book about friendship, families and finding one's place in a community. The pervasive cold in this story was very real and frightening to me, on a number of levels.
May 26, 2013
This book is absolutely beautiful. So intense. And every line is magic. The whole thing sings.
December 27, 2025
3.2 stars
a hopeful and bittersweet story about teens trying to understand the world. for a debut, has a lot of elements that are very essential for an amazing story, but also falls into a lot of common failures.
the main characters are definitely a highlight. they felt like real teens in how they thought and reacted to the world around them, flawed and complex and still trying to figure it out. i have definitely also read better executions of this before, though this is far from the worst. personally, i couldn't quite connect with the characters emotionally on a deeper level, though i think that could likely just be me. the story had a lot of heavier and important themes, which i felt were handled well enough; though again not overly outstanding, but a sure and well attempt. i personally loved how the ending to the story was messy and devastating and full of loss - but also slightly hopeful and, in a way, moving forward. it wasn't a perfect feel-good end, a story like this would have suffered from one. i also really appreciate how well balanced the more serious and lighthearted parts of the book are. i often dislike when more overall lighthearted books (or with a amount of humor) tackle more serious subjects, as they often pull the heavier parts down by surrounding them with jokes and making them feel like a joke by extension -- but this book averts this quite well!
however, the execution starts to fall apart at the writing level. the actual writing itself is fine, actually i find the dialogue quite funny and well done, but the pacing really brings this book down. the start of this book is a total bore, it drags on and on and on in the worst of ways. on paper, the events in the plot are interesting and humorous and completely filled with charm, but when reading they just make the entire book feel like it takes place within a single day of the friendly. the middle was more okay pacing-wise, though the ending felt a bit fast - especially when comparted to the start. this is a problem i often see when reading, and trust me ive seen worse than this, but the first half was so dull i almost quit the book wholesale. it feels like all the real plot and themes are just shoved into the second half, and the first is mostly for lighthearted jokes and establishing the characters. the writing involving the themes is kind of botched too, being that they (for most/almost all of the book) simply are stated over and over and over again without any substantially development or exploration of them, for the most part. i believe that most of this book takes place in only three or four days, and pulling THAT off in 300 or so pages while making it fairly paced and engaging throughout is surely a challenge (not that it cant be done well, of course). as well, the sudden days and weeks time skip forwards in the last few pages is really jarring; as is the change in writing perspective. it mostly feels that the author tried to bite off more than they could chew.
did i enjoy it? -past the first 150 or so pages
would i read it again? -no
would i have read it knowing what i do after? -yes
a hopeful and bittersweet story about teens trying to understand the world. for a debut, has a lot of elements that are very essential for an amazing story, but also falls into a lot of common failures.
the main characters are definitely a highlight. they felt like real teens in how they thought and reacted to the world around them, flawed and complex and still trying to figure it out. i have definitely also read better executions of this before, though this is far from the worst. personally, i couldn't quite connect with the characters emotionally on a deeper level, though i think that could likely just be me. the story had a lot of heavier and important themes, which i felt were handled well enough; though again not overly outstanding, but a sure and well attempt. i personally loved how the ending to the story was messy and devastating and full of loss - but also slightly hopeful and, in a way, moving forward. it wasn't a perfect feel-good end, a story like this would have suffered from one. i also really appreciate how well balanced the more serious and lighthearted parts of the book are. i often dislike when more overall lighthearted books (or with a amount of humor) tackle more serious subjects, as they often pull the heavier parts down by surrounding them with jokes and making them feel like a joke by extension -- but this book averts this quite well!
however, the execution starts to fall apart at the writing level. the actual writing itself is fine, actually i find the dialogue quite funny and well done, but the pacing really brings this book down. the start of this book is a total bore, it drags on and on and on in the worst of ways. on paper, the events in the plot are interesting and humorous and completely filled with charm, but when reading they just make the entire book feel like it takes place within a single day of the friendly. the middle was more okay pacing-wise, though the ending felt a bit fast - especially when comparted to the start. this is a problem i often see when reading, and trust me ive seen worse than this, but the first half was so dull i almost quit the book wholesale. it feels like all the real plot and themes are just shoved into the second half, and the first is mostly for lighthearted jokes and establishing the characters. the writing involving the themes is kind of botched too, being that they (for most/almost all of the book) simply are stated over and over and over again without any substantially development or exploration of them, for the most part. i believe that most of this book takes place in only three or four days, and pulling THAT off in 300 or so pages while making it fairly paced and engaging throughout is surely a challenge (not that it cant be done well, of course). as well, the sudden days and weeks time skip forwards in the last few pages is really jarring; as is the change in writing perspective. it mostly feels that the author tried to bite off more than they could chew.
did i enjoy it? -past the first 150 or so pages
would i read it again? -no
would i have read it knowing what i do after? -yes
September 12, 2022
I just finished the book and I have a lot of thoughts and questions running through my head. I love the character development and the childhood friends to enemies type trope and how the characters are linked to the other characters development. It’s a great book, but my problem was with the ending. It’s not what I expected which normally is great but it was kinda disappointing to me. I felt as if it was sort of rushed and lacked more depth into the characters and how their lives have changed since. Whether their lives get better or worse, I just need more depth and emotions to be connected.
July 20, 2019
Although I liked the premise of the book, I found the characters somewhat frustratingly unrealistic as their passion for kindness and consideration often ended up as unproductive angst. It reminded me of Shakespeare's line, "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." Nonetheless, parts of the book were interesting, especially Skint's family background.
June 7, 2020
this is a really good book but it was missing something.throughout the book i kept feeling empty from the inside .i was like hanging out in your favorite place but its too cold for you but your are enjoying something and dont want to leave.this book will always hold a place in my heart.it just felt different from all the "other books".dont forget to check it out
Read
May 20, 2017i couldn't do it anymore. i don't have the patience to get through 200+ pages of filler before it gets good.
September 6, 2017
The Whole Stupid Way We Are is a really heartwarming and yet heartbreaking book that I completely enjoyed reading. I would recommend it to every single person alive!
Also, I want a sequel.
Also, I want a sequel.
February 10, 2020
Honestly I put off reading this book for a while, I had left it on my shelf thinking it wouldn’t have been as good as it was. I was very wrong and regret not reading it sooner. A very beautiful story
Displaying 1 - 30 of 104 reviews