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Art of the Apology: How, When, and Why to Give and Accept Apologies
Nobody’s perfect . . . but anyone can apologize. Maybe you can’t make things right, but you can make them better—and even hope for forgiveness. Whether you’ve been thoughtless, dishonest, hurtful, or just plain stupid, a good apology can transform a clumsy moment into an opportunity for a new beginning. But delivering a successful apology isn’t always easy.
Don’t know what to say, how you have offended, or how to make up for it? Art of the Apology: How, When, and Why to Give and Accept Apologies is a guide to every aspect of the well-executed apology—and a cautionary tale for those who hesitate to say “I’m sorry.” Author and attorney Lauren M. Bloom examines the value and the power of “eating crow”: how it can contain a crisis, save a relationship, preserve your integrity, even prevent a lawsuit. You can regain the trust of those around you, but first you must accept the consequences of your misdeeds and step up to make amends.
Learn why you should apologize and how to choose the right time and place, whether you want to save face, avoid regrets, or express genuine remorse. Identify the six essential elements of any effective apology—and the thirteen most common ways to botch it. Discover how to make apologies in the workplace, to friends and loved ones, to casual acquaintances, and in public. Find out:
How to choose your words wisely—and why you should never say if
How to walk the tightrope of apologizing in the workplace When to plead guilty in person, and when sending a letter, an email, or a gift is better How to say sorry to kids, seniors, strangers, and pals When to make your apology public—and when to keep it private How to ask for an apology—and how to accept one graciously
Don’t know what to say, how you have offended, or how to make up for it? Art of the Apology: How, When, and Why to Give and Accept Apologies is a guide to every aspect of the well-executed apology—and a cautionary tale for those who hesitate to say “I’m sorry.” Author and attorney Lauren M. Bloom examines the value and the power of “eating crow”: how it can contain a crisis, save a relationship, preserve your integrity, even prevent a lawsuit. You can regain the trust of those around you, but first you must accept the consequences of your misdeeds and step up to make amends.
Learn why you should apologize and how to choose the right time and place, whether you want to save face, avoid regrets, or express genuine remorse. Identify the six essential elements of any effective apology—and the thirteen most common ways to botch it. Discover how to make apologies in the workplace, to friends and loved ones, to casual acquaintances, and in public. Find out:
How to choose your words wisely—and why you should never say if
How to walk the tightrope of apologizing in the workplace When to plead guilty in person, and when sending a letter, an email, or a gift is better How to say sorry to kids, seniors, strangers, and pals When to make your apology public—and when to keep it private How to ask for an apology—and how to accept one graciously
210 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2014
11 people are currently reading
398 people want to read
About the author
Lauren M. Bloom
2 books9 followersLauren Bloom is an attorney and interfaith minister, often called upon by the media to discuss issues of personal and professional integrity. Lauren has devoted her career to helping others earn and maintain the trust of their partners, friends, relatives, clients and colleagues.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
July 13, 2016
Meh.
This is a perfectly decent book on how to apologize. If you need help apologizing or are the kind of person who has no idea how to apologize. But there's nothing inspiring, new, or exciting in here. I vastly preferred On Apology.
This is a perfectly decent book on how to apologize. If you need help apologizing or are the kind of person who has no idea how to apologize. But there's nothing inspiring, new, or exciting in here. I vastly preferred On Apology.
November 24, 2018
Apologies are tough. They're tough to give and tough to get. There's no winning side to this equation. You'd like to think the wounded party receives some sort of benefit from recognition and regret, but nine times out of ten I'd bet the wounded party would prefer not to have been wounded in the first place - or face grappling with the elusive nature of forgiveness. So much easier to unfriend, all the way around. Which is why we see it happen again and again and again.
But here's the thing - how much of a friend can you really say you've been if you haven't risked the freedom of an unguarded word or tested the strength of a boundary...and learned the true weight of your actions in the life of another human being? Real connections are filled with hit-and-miss. And strong connections are built from the nuts and bolts of repair.
This is a practical book. The author is a lawyer by trade and lends much of her focus to apologies in the workplace. Also, there are great stretches of text deadened by the over-intellectualization of an extremely emotional act. On the flip side, though, the sheer scope of incident and example is impressive. Ms. Bloom hits every stage of the apologetic process and confronts all the major pitfalls. While occasionally wanting in tone, there's a lot of ground covered and most of it pragmatically.
If you need to give (or get) an apology this very minute? I'd hunt down a more heartwarming work. If, however, you've got a little distance and some genuine interest, this might turn out to be a useful tool.
But here's the thing - how much of a friend can you really say you've been if you haven't risked the freedom of an unguarded word or tested the strength of a boundary...and learned the true weight of your actions in the life of another human being? Real connections are filled with hit-and-miss. And strong connections are built from the nuts and bolts of repair.
This is a practical book. The author is a lawyer by trade and lends much of her focus to apologies in the workplace. Also, there are great stretches of text deadened by the over-intellectualization of an extremely emotional act. On the flip side, though, the sheer scope of incident and example is impressive. Ms. Bloom hits every stage of the apologetic process and confronts all the major pitfalls. While occasionally wanting in tone, there's a lot of ground covered and most of it pragmatically.
If you need to give (or get) an apology this very minute? I'd hunt down a more heartwarming work. If, however, you've got a little distance and some genuine interest, this might turn out to be a useful tool.
November 17, 2019
Apologies are extremely important when you have offended someone that you didn't mean to hurt. It is imperative to know how to give and receive apologies. Many people don't give apologies because they dont feel they are necessary or they feel that it will lay the complete fault on them. The biggest closure after an apology is given is the MAKE UP SEX....J/K, it's the behavior being corrected. Changed behavior to further prove you didnt mean what happened is the best apology! This book is full of information to help the person giving the apology as well as the person receiving the apology.
July 3, 2024
(3.5/5) Practical advice on how to successfully apologize in private, public, business and some examples of how far a well strategized apology can go from saving relationships to prevent law suits.
Sections that assuming the receiving party can be a butthole or weigh in if this apology is worth the profit or benefit in return, I thought to myself ‘Oh probably the title of this book could be “How to Save Your Ass”.’
Then there are some touching points advising truly look inward and do the right thing.
Pretty mixed feeling, definitely not spiritually inspiring ;)
Sections that assuming the receiving party can be a butthole or weigh in if this apology is worth the profit or benefit in return, I thought to myself ‘Oh probably the title of this book could be “How to Save Your Ass”.’
Then there are some touching points advising truly look inward and do the right thing.
Pretty mixed feeling, definitely not spiritually inspiring ;)
October 18, 2025
I really appreciated how matter-of-fact this book is. Some would find the tone dull, but i found it informative, with useful information about why people dont apologize, why apologies are necessary and how to manage offering or receiving apologies.
October 11, 2019
Picked this up looking resources for my patients on forgiveness and apologizing. It was ok, picked up a few good tools to use.
July 5, 2021
Easy read. Common sense.
April 1, 2014
I received this book as a Goodreads Giveaway in exchange for an honest review.
I wasn't sure what to expect when I received this book, but was thoroughly surprised when I got started on reading this book.
It is a thorough examination of thought provoking goodness. Why are you really apologizing? Who are you apologizing to? What are you apologizing for? But there's so much more in this book. It truly is in depth on examining everything about the apology, before the apology happens!
I really enjoyed this book and will keep it on hand because I'm human and must apologize often!
I wasn't sure what to expect when I received this book, but was thoroughly surprised when I got started on reading this book.
It is a thorough examination of thought provoking goodness. Why are you really apologizing? Who are you apologizing to? What are you apologizing for? But there's so much more in this book. It truly is in depth on examining everything about the apology, before the apology happens!
I really enjoyed this book and will keep it on hand because I'm human and must apologize often!
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews