What do you think?
Rate this book
Pastors' Wives Tell All: Navigating Real Church Life with Honesty and Humor
In a world that expects near perfection from people in ministry, it is hard to be honest about struggles of being a pastor's wife or a woman in ministry--let alone have a sense of humor about it! In their popular podcast, Pastors' Wives Tell All , Jessica Taylor, Stephanie Gilbert, and Jenna Allen create a safe place for pastors' wives and women in ministry to be their most authentic selves. Now they're bringing their wit and wisdom to women through the written word.
Addressing topics such as how to smash stereotypes, deal with marital issues, make friends, and overcome parenting anxiety, they remind pastors' wives (and the people in their congregations) that God doesn't expect them to be superhuman. They show women how to
· establish and maintain healthy boundaries
· seek wise counsel
· confess their sins and shortcomings aloud
· shed the persona of perfection
· and much more
If you're a pastor's wife--by calling, by choice, or by circumstance--you'll find relief, renewal, and refreshment in the pages of this book.
Addressing topics such as how to smash stereotypes, deal with marital issues, make friends, and overcome parenting anxiety, they remind pastors' wives (and the people in their congregations) that God doesn't expect them to be superhuman. They show women how to
· establish and maintain healthy boundaries
· seek wise counsel
· confess their sins and shortcomings aloud
· shed the persona of perfection
· and much more
If you're a pastor's wife--by calling, by choice, or by circumstance--you'll find relief, renewal, and refreshment in the pages of this book.
- GenresChristianNonfiction
192 pages, Paperback
Published April 30, 2024
28 people are currently reading
1789 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
September 28, 2024
I don't remember where I saw this book (maybe Amazon?) or if I heard about it somewhere (another podcast?), but the title really drew me in. I was expecting something different to what it actually was though.
If you're looking for advice, yes, this is what you want to read, if you're looking for a "tell-all" type of thing, this isn't it. Not in the sense most people will be thinking of, anyway. But these women do share a lot of their lives, situations they've been in and how they dealt with them and what you can do if you find yourself in a similar one.
There's also a big emphasis on being yourself, and that not fitting the mold is totally okay, but you should still do it within reason (as in, if it's a church where everyone wears dresses, you as a pastor's wife can't really wear leggings, etc). I did find that perspective refreshing, as someone who dresses modestly, but is part of an alternative subculture, so I often get judged for not being the right "type" of Christian or for not dressing modestly the "normal/correct" way.
Now, I'm not a pastor's wife, so I'm not the target audience, but I did find value in this read. It was interesting, funny and made me want to check out the podcast. The audiobook was a nice listen as well, I do recommend it.
If you're looking for advice, yes, this is what you want to read, if you're looking for a "tell-all" type of thing, this isn't it. Not in the sense most people will be thinking of, anyway. But these women do share a lot of their lives, situations they've been in and how they dealt with them and what you can do if you find yourself in a similar one.
There's also a big emphasis on being yourself, and that not fitting the mold is totally okay, but you should still do it within reason (as in, if it's a church where everyone wears dresses, you as a pastor's wife can't really wear leggings, etc). I did find that perspective refreshing, as someone who dresses modestly, but is part of an alternative subculture, so I often get judged for not being the right "type" of Christian or for not dressing modestly the "normal/correct" way.
Now, I'm not a pastor's wife, so I'm not the target audience, but I did find value in this read. It was interesting, funny and made me want to check out the podcast. The audiobook was a nice listen as well, I do recommend it.
Want to read
March 20, 2024I have been following Jessica, Jenna and Stephanie for some time now. Their podcast has gotten me through some difficult times as a pastor's wife. I have laughed and cried on many occasions. I even had the pleasure of having brunch with them and a few other pastors wives in TN. These three are as real as it gets!! I cannot wait to get my hands and eyes on this book.
July 3, 2024
I thought this would be a book I could relate to and maybe gain some encouragement. I am disappointed that they wrote this book for pastors wives and female pastors. Female pastor is not a biblical role and allows for a lot of confusion and negativity in the church.
July 22, 2024
Enjoyed the book, loved the humor, the reflection and some tears. Related to the parenting chapter and parenting kids with ADHD and pks. Something my family has been dealing with as well and found encouragement through the chapter.
Love listening to their podcast as well.
Love listening to their podcast as well.
August 3, 2024
I was deeply disappointed in this book. I had hoped it would be an encouraging book for those of us who have been in the frontlines, experiencing the unexpected. instead it mocked the "traditional" pastor's wife as "Mrs. Perky Perfect Pastor's Wife", which is followed by a sterotypical description ending in "quietly accepts demands from her husband in her meek-and-quiet spirit way". What?! I don't know one single PW that fits that description! The book goes on mildly insulting Mrs. PPPW as though dressing modestly and being mindful of one's appearance is a sign of legalism, and hints that she is unrelatable to her congregation. Having a kind and spiritually based word for a congregant is lumped in with her appearance as being old-fashioned and very likely hiding a spiritual corpse.
On the flip side (yes, there is one) throughout each chapter advice about being yourself whether you fit into someone else's idea of a PW was good, however, it was tinged with the idea that it meant absolutely NOT being like Mrs. PPPW or other pastoral families. Wow, that in itself is being legalistic, although in a very modern, millennialist kind of way!
Personally, being closer to Mrs. PPPW than being a radical, I have never had trouble relating to the tatooed, the stylish, the long haired, short-haired, skin-showing congregant. The town drunk, the womanizer, the thrice divorced, the ADHD, the convict have all been welcomed into our churches and appreciated. My appearance means nothing to them. Being Jesus with skin on in what's important.
I have read many swoony reviews for this book, but for me, no, I do not recommend this book unless you are looking for a reason to push the boundaries of personal appearance, questionable language, and unspiritual behavior as a good thing. We are in this world to be unlike them; to be like Jesus, who was criticized for being different than the world.
On the flip side (yes, there is one) throughout each chapter advice about being yourself whether you fit into someone else's idea of a PW was good, however, it was tinged with the idea that it meant absolutely NOT being like Mrs. PPPW or other pastoral families. Wow, that in itself is being legalistic, although in a very modern, millennialist kind of way!
Personally, being closer to Mrs. PPPW than being a radical, I have never had trouble relating to the tatooed, the stylish, the long haired, short-haired, skin-showing congregant. The town drunk, the womanizer, the thrice divorced, the ADHD, the convict have all been welcomed into our churches and appreciated. My appearance means nothing to them. Being Jesus with skin on in what's important.
I have read many swoony reviews for this book, but for me, no, I do not recommend this book unless you are looking for a reason to push the boundaries of personal appearance, questionable language, and unspiritual behavior as a good thing. We are in this world to be unlike them; to be like Jesus, who was criticized for being different than the world.
May 29, 2024
Reading this when I did was definitely helpful.. as a fellow pastors wife I could feel this book.. almost as if I was there in the personal stories… over the past 15years we (hubby and I) have been both unbelievably hurt by the church and blessed by the church. I found myself slightly wishing I had this book years ago just for the encouragement factor and the reminder that I am not alone in ministry. The book was well written in such a way to be easily relatable. There were times I wanted to be able to hug the girls in the story and times I wished I could be their backup… ministry is tough but so very worth it.
Pastors wives tell all is vulnerable, needed, and has something for everyone. I highly recommend it and have already talked it up to other wives in my association of churches.
Pastors wives tell all is vulnerable, needed, and has something for everyone. I highly recommend it and have already talked it up to other wives in my association of churches.
May 3, 2024
Absolutely loved this book! And…you don’t have to be a Pastor’s wife to love it! Anyone in the church or church leadership will be blessed by their love for Jesus, honesty, vulnerability, and sense of humor! It’s real and refreshing!
August 28, 2024
Could not even finish it. I could tell right away it was a book written to vent about their life. I recommend How to Thrive As a Pastors Wife if anyone is looking for an encouraging and helpful book
May 9, 2024
There are lots of great books on the market about pastoral ministry, and about how ministry families can deal with the unique pressures that come with always being on call and in the spotlight. This book stands out as especially unique and helpful, as Stephanie Gilbert, Jessica Taylor, and Jenna Allen take a deep dive into what it's like to be a pastors' wife. They share a great range of anecdotal examples, encouragements, and practical ideas for how to deal with common struggles, writing about issues like comparison, marriage and parenting difficulties, and issues related to friendship, church hurt, and experiences of doubt and discouragement.
The authors host a podcast together, and they have an excellent combined writing voice. Co-written books can sometimes be clunky to read, but this one flows extremely well, especially since they write about themselves in the third person and don't trade off with a first-person voice. You don't have to try to follow who is talking, and the unified writing voice is really helpful. The authors also fill the book with their shared humor and silliness. I laughed out loud many times, and even though some of the jokes occasionally seemed too flippant to me, I enjoyed the humorous tone and loved the funny stories about ministry.
Stephanie, Jessica, and Jenna share lots of personal stories and examples throughout, and they unpack how different Bible verses apply to tough situations that people face in ministry. They share a lot about their own difficult experiences, and they strike a great balance between being vulnerable and not oversharing in ways that could hurt other people. The specifics they share are especially helpful in the sections about dealing with church hurt, gossip, and conflict within churches, because they give concrete advice based on real examples, instead of just talking about these issues in vague terms.
This book also addresses the common struggle of feeling like you can't be yourself at church, but have to fit everyone else's perception of what a pastors' wife should be. Stephanie, Jessica, and Jenna share heartfelt stories about their journeys towards self-acceptance, and they empower other women to be honest, pursue true friendships, and express their personalities. However, I sometimes felt that their emphasis on embracing their own quirkiness went too far in the opposite direction.
The authors regularly highlight how loud, silly, and boldly weird they are, and even though that can be freeing for women with similar personalities, I wish that they had included examples and encouragements for shy and soft-spoken women, who will have their own, different struggles with church expectations and social norms. The advice about accepting your God-given personality still applies, but the authors keep presenting this through the lens of accepting that you aren't quiet, prim, and proper. The authors don't address specific concerns for women with quieter, more subdued personalities and temperaments, and frequently reference this group as a stereotyped foil for comparison. I'm sure that this was an unintentional blind spot, but I found it disappointing.
Pastors' Wives Tell All is a great resource for women in ministry. The authors are friendly and engaging, and they share vulnerable stories from their lives that will help readers feel understood in their own struggles. The book has a broad enough focus that it will apply to pastors' wives, women in their own vocational ministry, and dedicated church volunteers, and it can also be a great read for someone who wants to better understand and support women in ministry. This book will be the best fit for readers who relate to the authors' big, bold personalities, and I wish that the authors had done more to acknowledge and avoid slighting quieter women, but there is so much wisdom in this book as a whole that I would recommend it to most women in ministry.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
The authors host a podcast together, and they have an excellent combined writing voice. Co-written books can sometimes be clunky to read, but this one flows extremely well, especially since they write about themselves in the third person and don't trade off with a first-person voice. You don't have to try to follow who is talking, and the unified writing voice is really helpful. The authors also fill the book with their shared humor and silliness. I laughed out loud many times, and even though some of the jokes occasionally seemed too flippant to me, I enjoyed the humorous tone and loved the funny stories about ministry.
Stephanie, Jessica, and Jenna share lots of personal stories and examples throughout, and they unpack how different Bible verses apply to tough situations that people face in ministry. They share a lot about their own difficult experiences, and they strike a great balance between being vulnerable and not oversharing in ways that could hurt other people. The specifics they share are especially helpful in the sections about dealing with church hurt, gossip, and conflict within churches, because they give concrete advice based on real examples, instead of just talking about these issues in vague terms.
This book also addresses the common struggle of feeling like you can't be yourself at church, but have to fit everyone else's perception of what a pastors' wife should be. Stephanie, Jessica, and Jenna share heartfelt stories about their journeys towards self-acceptance, and they empower other women to be honest, pursue true friendships, and express their personalities. However, I sometimes felt that their emphasis on embracing their own quirkiness went too far in the opposite direction.
The authors regularly highlight how loud, silly, and boldly weird they are, and even though that can be freeing for women with similar personalities, I wish that they had included examples and encouragements for shy and soft-spoken women, who will have their own, different struggles with church expectations and social norms. The advice about accepting your God-given personality still applies, but the authors keep presenting this through the lens of accepting that you aren't quiet, prim, and proper. The authors don't address specific concerns for women with quieter, more subdued personalities and temperaments, and frequently reference this group as a stereotyped foil for comparison. I'm sure that this was an unintentional blind spot, but I found it disappointing.
Pastors' Wives Tell All is a great resource for women in ministry. The authors are friendly and engaging, and they share vulnerable stories from their lives that will help readers feel understood in their own struggles. The book has a broad enough focus that it will apply to pastors' wives, women in their own vocational ministry, and dedicated church volunteers, and it can also be a great read for someone who wants to better understand and support women in ministry. This book will be the best fit for readers who relate to the authors' big, bold personalities, and I wish that the authors had done more to acknowledge and avoid slighting quieter women, but there is so much wisdom in this book as a whole that I would recommend it to most women in ministry.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Read
June 5, 2024I won’t give a rating since I only read half and am not the intended audience. After 20+ years of being a youth pastor and then assistant pastor, my dad just became the lead pastor of a church that needed revitalization. Since my mom is now the lead pastors wife, I wanted to try to find a book that would be encouraging to her or guide her as she steps into this new and distinct role.
From reading the title I expected this book to be more of what a traditional tell all is, perhaps funny church stories such as VBS fails, hilarious worship time blunders, a crazy church lady who makes ministry difficult, you know that sort of thing. After starting the book I realized that’s not what this was going to be and that it’s focus is more on encouragement. After shifting my expectations it also appears that two of these women are youth pastor wives, not lead pastor wives. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but the roles and expectations that a lead pastors wife have versus a youth pastors are different.
I also found the focus to be very much on the self i.e. being the pastors wife and not feeling like you have to be perfect. For someone who struggles with the weight that they feel as a pastors wife, I’m sure they would find this very encouraging and would appreciate the camaraderie (unless you’re a shy, traditional, prim and proper kind of gal, then you probably won’t find as much in common with these ladies. They love to talk about how non traditional they are with their tattoos, nose rings, and holes in their jeans). For those who are looking to this for navigating their ROLE as a pastors wife, rather than how they ARE as a pastors wife, then this probably isn’t quite what you’re looking for.
Although this isn’t the book I’m going to give my mom, I think a lot of struggling pastors wives will find encouragement. Especially if you’re a millennial mom with young children still in the home. I personally know of several pastors that had to step down or churches that split due to a pastors wife feeling some sort of way, perhaps this could have helped.
From reading the title I expected this book to be more of what a traditional tell all is, perhaps funny church stories such as VBS fails, hilarious worship time blunders, a crazy church lady who makes ministry difficult, you know that sort of thing. After starting the book I realized that’s not what this was going to be and that it’s focus is more on encouragement. After shifting my expectations it also appears that two of these women are youth pastor wives, not lead pastor wives. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but the roles and expectations that a lead pastors wife have versus a youth pastors are different.
I also found the focus to be very much on the self i.e. being the pastors wife and not feeling like you have to be perfect. For someone who struggles with the weight that they feel as a pastors wife, I’m sure they would find this very encouraging and would appreciate the camaraderie (unless you’re a shy, traditional, prim and proper kind of gal, then you probably won’t find as much in common with these ladies. They love to talk about how non traditional they are with their tattoos, nose rings, and holes in their jeans). For those who are looking to this for navigating their ROLE as a pastors wife, rather than how they ARE as a pastors wife, then this probably isn’t quite what you’re looking for.
Although this isn’t the book I’m going to give my mom, I think a lot of struggling pastors wives will find encouragement. Especially if you’re a millennial mom with young children still in the home. I personally know of several pastors that had to step down or churches that split due to a pastors wife feeling some sort of way, perhaps this could have helped.
May 3, 2024
As a pastor’s wife and having served in ministry for a number of years, I have to applaud Jessica, Jenna, and Stephanie for speaking boldly about the things that are almost taboo. From admitting that the pastor’s wife wants to skip church sometimes (gasp!) to saying she also questions God, these ladies touch on the uncomfortable subjects that those who aren’t pastors’ wives may struggle with too. I highly encourage pastors’ wives, ministry leaders, and those in the church read these pages and reflect on what is being said. We love the church, but we are all human: a messy people. May this book bless those who read it.
September 8, 2024
I’m not a pastor’s wife but have been good friends with many. Even so, this was an eye opening read.
Jessica Taylor, Stephanie Gilbert, and Jenna Allen have brought their honest wit and wisdom to us via the written word.
Some of the topics address…
stereotypes, dealing with marital issues, making friends, and parenting under the critical eyes others. They emphasise the fact that as a pastor’s wife God doesn't expect them to be superhuman. The writers did a great job showing what life can be like as a pastor’s wife who are just real people, and not hyper spiritual icons.
I enjoyed the humorous manner in which this is written.
·
Jessica Taylor, Stephanie Gilbert, and Jenna Allen have brought their honest wit and wisdom to us via the written word.
Some of the topics address…
stereotypes, dealing with marital issues, making friends, and parenting under the critical eyes others. They emphasise the fact that as a pastor’s wife God doesn't expect them to be superhuman. The writers did a great job showing what life can be like as a pastor’s wife who are just real people, and not hyper spiritual icons.
I enjoyed the humorous manner in which this is written.
·
December 15, 2024
As a pastor’s wife, I feel seen. This book has been in my TBR pile for a while. But I recently went on a retreat that these three put on, which encouraged me even more to read as. soon. as. possible.
I’m so thankful I did. Ministry can be so lonely and sometimes people who aren’t in ministry just don’t get it. And that’s okay. But it’s so refreshing to know there are people who get it and have been through the fire just as you have.
Thankful for this book and I’m sure it’ll be in my reread pile!
I’m so thankful I did. Ministry can be so lonely and sometimes people who aren’t in ministry just don’t get it. And that’s okay. But it’s so refreshing to know there are people who get it and have been through the fire just as you have.
Thankful for this book and I’m sure it’ll be in my reread pile!
April 16, 2024
I binged the book in one day. If I didn’t know the Pastor’s Wives Tell all ladies before reading, I would feel like I did. In the book they are the same kind, silly, Jesus loving, truth bringing ladies I loved from the moment I first heard their podcast. They bring vulnerability and realness that is refreshing to this Pastor’s wife. They stepped on my toes and made me feel less alone, yet again. This book will be a great tool for church members as well! Can’t wait to get my hands on my copy!
June 25, 2024
This was probably one of the best books I’ve ever ever read when it comes to a book for pastors wives! The books out there for Pastor‘s wives are mostly the same. A lot of the books are in pastors wives, focusing on the spiritual aspect however, I appreciated a relatable perspective, which was funny and very human. I definitely don’t fit into the mold so it was nice to read a book who also marched to the beat of their own drums. Highly recommend!
July 1, 2024
A few pages in and I was already already teary eyed. I knew you three were my people long ago before I met y’all in Nashville. After 20 pages in, I knew it was one of the most relatable things I had ever read. What a rewarding and sometimes difficult calling. You were spot on with so many things. Regardless of what we go through, it’s so important to have relationships with pastors wives to remind us to keep our eyes fixed on Him. Thank you for writing this. I have really enjoyed it! 🩷
May 3, 2024
This is such a great book! An easy read, but full of impactful nuggets! Jessica, Stephanie and Jenna keep it read, lighthearted and throw in some good jokes here and there! This can be relatable to anyone in ministry, not just a pastors wife.. but as a pastors wife, I’m so glad I have this to reference when I need to be uplifted.
May 7, 2024
As a pastor’s wife, I could not be more excited for this book! Jessica, Jenna, and Stephanie not only speak boldly about the things that are taboo in church culture, but they are also real and honest. If you seek authenticity, look no further! This book provides the inside scoop on all things ministry and what pastor's wives/pastors go through. Check it out! You won't regret it!
May 21, 2024
I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I give this 4.5 stars. I thought it did a great job showing what life can be like as a pastor’s wife. It humanized us and made us relatable as “real” people - not hyper spiritual icons. I appreciated the camaraderie I felt reading it.
I give this 4.5 stars. I thought it did a great job showing what life can be like as a pastor’s wife. It humanized us and made us relatable as “real” people - not hyper spiritual icons. I appreciated the camaraderie I felt reading it.
May 24, 2024
These ladies have wrote an incredible book, designed for any reader yet also making a Pastor’s Wife feel seen, and not alone with experiences! They have truly outdone themselves in this creatively written book, you never know what you’ll end up reading about in each chapter. It truly was a fantastic read!
June 24, 2024
This was the line that I will spend hours pondering:
"Don't dim your light to match the dullness others have invented."
The book was wonderfully written. They said such good things in digestible ways. It was fun and deep. I'm so thankful for their testimony. It's gas in a tired girl's tank.
"Don't dim your light to match the dullness others have invented."
The book was wonderfully written. They said such good things in digestible ways. It was fun and deep. I'm so thankful for their testimony. It's gas in a tired girl's tank.
April 30, 2024
A smooth, truthful, and challenging read that keeps you engaged. The honesty and transparency of these ladies is refreshing! Whether you are a pastor's wife, in the ministry yourself, or a lay person you will most definitely gain from reading this book!
April 30, 2024
This book is so relatable, and true to life. It tells the reader hey we're just like you. You get to see behind the proverbial curtain that has been put up to separate some church leaders from the congregation.
September 7, 2024
This book has incredibly short chapters, but took a long time to complete as it just didn’t hold my interest. It’s written very much as though it’s a transcript from their podcast. I found it was very surface-level and meh.
January 4, 2025
Read as a pastor to understand my wife's heart a little more. See a little more what all she I internalizes and now feel better prepared to help her be herself ( in a righteous way) and help defend her from the enemies attacks that come her way.
February 11, 2025
I would highly recommend this book. I am a young pastors wife of a brand new church and I gleaned a lot from their experiences. I appreciated their vulnerability and humor! I have loved listening to their podcast as well.
April 8, 2025
Relatable, lighthearted, and with packed with Scriptural wisdom. I’m not a pastor’s wife but I heartily enjoyed this book, even though I’d never heard of these ladies before. Recommend if you are a pastor’s wife — or know one!
April 29, 2024
Fantastic, enlightening book for all church leaders. Practical advice for church issues! Easy to read and helpful in so many ways!
April 30, 2024
If you are a pastors wife this book should be at the top of your reading list! They understand us in a way nobody else can. This book made me laugh, cry and gave me all the feels.
May 3, 2024
Funny, practical, encouraging, and real. A great read for not only pastors' wives but anyone in the church who wants to know how to love and serve their pastor's family.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews