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The Authentic Life: Zen Wisdom for Living Free from Complacency and Fear
Wonderfully accessible Zen teachings for how to live your life genuinely, honestly, and happily in the face of life’s inevitable difficulties
Ever feel like your efforts to live a life of wisdom, honesty, and compassion are hijacked by, well, life? Take heart. Ezra Bayda has good life’s challenges aren’t obstacles to our path—they are the path. Understanding that liberates us to use every aspect of what life presents us with as a way to live with integrity and authenticity—and joy.
In this, as in all his books, Ezra’s teaching is Zen made wonderfully practical, in a way that can apply to anyone’s life. Meditation is the foundation, but it doesn’t stop there. It’s about learning to take the practice of presence we cultivate in meditation to all the rest of our complicated lives. Doing that empowers us to navigate our journey with the integrity and authenticity that are what a satisfying life is all about.
Ever feel like your efforts to live a life of wisdom, honesty, and compassion are hijacked by, well, life? Take heart. Ezra Bayda has good life’s challenges aren’t obstacles to our path—they are the path. Understanding that liberates us to use every aspect of what life presents us with as a way to live with integrity and authenticity—and joy.
In this, as in all his books, Ezra’s teaching is Zen made wonderfully practical, in a way that can apply to anyone’s life. Meditation is the foundation, but it doesn’t stop there. It’s about learning to take the practice of presence we cultivate in meditation to all the rest of our complicated lives. Doing that empowers us to navigate our journey with the integrity and authenticity that are what a satisfying life is all about.
207 pages, Paperback
First published April 8, 2014
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491 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
September 20, 2019
What an utterly gentle, healing book. It felt that Bayda sat next to me and spoke to me as one would speak to an errant child. Lovable, but still prone to mischief. Bayda’s style and philosophy is similar to my beloved Pema Chodron and there were many passages in this book that I highlighted with the intention to come back to them again and again.
Leading a life of authenticity means coming to the awareness of who we truly are. Through meditation, exercises, and the gentle power of suggestion, Bayda lights the way to that path.
Leading a life of authenticity means coming to the awareness of who we truly are. Through meditation, exercises, and the gentle power of suggestion, Bayda lights the way to that path.
March 18, 2020
Summary: A great book to think about the emotional control component of Meditation & the way Buddhism works. Whether you are of this religion or simply using prayer/meditation to your mental benefit, this is a great piece.
p. 4 - "In Buddhism this theme is commonly described as the philosophy of impermanence, the objective fact that over time everything changes."
"In other words, spiritual practice, in large part, involves learning how to respond to life's blows, including our own physical and emotional difficulties. A crucial step is to learn to see our difficulties as our path, as our opportunity."
p. 4/5 - When we feel anxiety we often believe the point is to get over it. But they say the need to get over it or do anything is conditioning. "The fundamental point is, until we become intimate with our fears, until we welcome them, they will always limit our ability to live authentically." We have to be open to all the negative emotions if we are to say yes to life.
p5. "...working effectively through our emotional difficulties requires that we first see clearly not only what is actually happening but also what we're adding to the sitaution through our emotional reactions and escapes."
p. 28 - The importance of "honestly acknowledging the situation." But this means separating our reaction from the actual situation.
p. 44 - "When anger arises, it has two components: one, the sensations and energy in the body; and two, the thoughts that are often racing through the mind, such as "he's such a jerk," or "I hate this, " or "this isn't fair." What is required to transform the energy of anger from a strong negative force into something potentially beneficial is to first be able to refrain from letting the thoughts run rampant.
p. 54- "Happiness doesn't come from making happiness the goal - it comes from being able to appreciate the journey, particularly the present-moment experience of our life."
p. 63 - "We believe what we want to believe." The point is that is not truth.
p. 67 Who am I without all the stories I make about myself? "Dropping our facades, o ur identities, our stories, what remains?"
p. 72 - "We have to clarify our thinking by knowing, with precision, what our actual beliefs are."
I love that every positive has a negative:
I am a helper - fear of being unloved
I try hard - nagging sense of inadequacy
I'm unique - craving of acknowledgement
I'm reliable - fear of insecurity and groundlessness, need to fit in
I'm busy and fun - avoidance of being with one'self.
Self-reliant - fear of appearing weak.
Big love vs. personal love - The difference is whether we think we will receive something in return.
The one that is doing the negative side is the ego mind. That is what you have to fight in order to live genuinely.
p. 99 - "In part, living from anger is sustained by the illusion that we have endless time. We continue to let anger get the best of us because we don't yet truly realize that our life is precious and limited."
p. 110 - Reframing anger - Recognize, reframe (so it's not our enemy), clarify the beliefs and expectations, bring focused awareness to the physical experience, 5th letting the whole expereince just be.
p. 114 - All of us have fear. Some have a fear based temperment.
p. 117 - "But, ironically, it's the very demand that life be a particular way that almost guarantees a continuing state of anxiety, unease, and dissatisfaction."
p. 119 - We could pause, acknowledge the anxiety or fear, and then say yes. That would be an alternative to letting it stop us.
p. 129 = "Hopefully we understand that it's not worthwhile to indulge in anger or blame, or to wring our hands over the horrible state of things." Talking with others or taking some kind of action may seem to relieve our distress, but despite any valuable function this may serve, it can also act as a cover up, keeping us from feeling what none of us wants to feel, the helplessness of the loss of control." (Helplessness is generally a bad feeling)
p. 138 - "The truth is, we have no idea how long we have, yet we unconsciously assume we have endless time."
p. 143 - Strength - perseverance, knowing our values and priorities, determination
weakness - distractions, passivity, and self-indulgence. Strength leads to more strength, weakness indulged leads to more weakness.
p. 146 - "Not happening now!" Both to the stuff that comes in the future and the stuff that has happened in the past. Emotional control technique.
p. 4 - "In Buddhism this theme is commonly described as the philosophy of impermanence, the objective fact that over time everything changes."
"In other words, spiritual practice, in large part, involves learning how to respond to life's blows, including our own physical and emotional difficulties. A crucial step is to learn to see our difficulties as our path, as our opportunity."
p. 4/5 - When we feel anxiety we often believe the point is to get over it. But they say the need to get over it or do anything is conditioning. "The fundamental point is, until we become intimate with our fears, until we welcome them, they will always limit our ability to live authentically." We have to be open to all the negative emotions if we are to say yes to life.
p5. "...working effectively through our emotional difficulties requires that we first see clearly not only what is actually happening but also what we're adding to the sitaution through our emotional reactions and escapes."
p. 28 - The importance of "honestly acknowledging the situation." But this means separating our reaction from the actual situation.
p. 44 - "When anger arises, it has two components: one, the sensations and energy in the body; and two, the thoughts that are often racing through the mind, such as "he's such a jerk," or "I hate this, " or "this isn't fair." What is required to transform the energy of anger from a strong negative force into something potentially beneficial is to first be able to refrain from letting the thoughts run rampant.
p. 54- "Happiness doesn't come from making happiness the goal - it comes from being able to appreciate the journey, particularly the present-moment experience of our life."
p. 63 - "We believe what we want to believe." The point is that is not truth.
p. 67 Who am I without all the stories I make about myself? "Dropping our facades, o ur identities, our stories, what remains?"
p. 72 - "We have to clarify our thinking by knowing, with precision, what our actual beliefs are."
I love that every positive has a negative:
I am a helper - fear of being unloved
I try hard - nagging sense of inadequacy
I'm unique - craving of acknowledgement
I'm reliable - fear of insecurity and groundlessness, need to fit in
I'm busy and fun - avoidance of being with one'self.
Self-reliant - fear of appearing weak.
Big love vs. personal love - The difference is whether we think we will receive something in return.
The one that is doing the negative side is the ego mind. That is what you have to fight in order to live genuinely.
p. 99 - "In part, living from anger is sustained by the illusion that we have endless time. We continue to let anger get the best of us because we don't yet truly realize that our life is precious and limited."
p. 110 - Reframing anger - Recognize, reframe (so it's not our enemy), clarify the beliefs and expectations, bring focused awareness to the physical experience, 5th letting the whole expereince just be.
p. 114 - All of us have fear. Some have a fear based temperment.
p. 117 - "But, ironically, it's the very demand that life be a particular way that almost guarantees a continuing state of anxiety, unease, and dissatisfaction."
p. 119 - We could pause, acknowledge the anxiety or fear, and then say yes. That would be an alternative to letting it stop us.
p. 129 = "Hopefully we understand that it's not worthwhile to indulge in anger or blame, or to wring our hands over the horrible state of things." Talking with others or taking some kind of action may seem to relieve our distress, but despite any valuable function this may serve, it can also act as a cover up, keeping us from feeling what none of us wants to feel, the helplessness of the loss of control." (Helplessness is generally a bad feeling)
p. 138 - "The truth is, we have no idea how long we have, yet we unconsciously assume we have endless time."
p. 143 - Strength - perseverance, knowing our values and priorities, determination
weakness - distractions, passivity, and self-indulgence. Strength leads to more strength, weakness indulged leads to more weakness.
p. 146 - "Not happening now!" Both to the stuff that comes in the future and the stuff that has happened in the past. Emotional control technique.
July 13, 2014
life changing perspectives. maybe the time was just right for me to pick up this book, but he really just wrote it in a way i could hear and take in and absorb into my life. i was ready for change and this book was a fantastic inclusion for the journey. in fact i just finished it, loaned it to a friend, but wanted to read it again so purchased one of his others!
February 15, 2015
A very thoughtful book. It's not so much a guide to buddhism as it is thoughts on how to live without overthinking everything. The author uses some of his own experiences as examples, and talks about learning how to let go of the need for control and surrendering to life.
While he lacks perhaps the clarity of prose that some of my favourite buddhist authors have, there is a lot of meat in this book and it's well worth reading.
While he lacks perhaps the clarity of prose that some of my favourite buddhist authors have, there is a lot of meat in this book and it's well worth reading.
July 8, 2018
Are you stuck, feel like you're in a rut? Great! Perfect time to practice. Reading Ezra Bayda always feels so inspirationally practical. I would read a chapter a morning, receiving a different assignment each day to wake up. Mind you, it was always a variation on the same assignment - to watch for my areas of resistance and then vary the techniques for refraining from my habitual responses. Hold off from taking the escape route. Note the attachments. Be kinder. Recognize, refrain, clarify, experience, and let be. Ask how should it be. Check in daily for moments of gratitude and remorse. Put the large substantive meaningful rocks of life in the jar before the jar is filled with the sand of minutiae. Single moments can wake you up much as he was shaken by his obtuseness in telling a homeless woman he wasn't to be disturbed since he was busy practicing lovingkindness meditation.
By seeing where we're attached to our fantasy of how life is supposed to be, the power of attachment diminishes and we can live more authentically. Ultimately, Bayda wishes that we could all wake up to how we are all skating on thin ice and become more skilled and courageous in working with difficult situations. Sounds fatalistic but he promises that a more aware and authentic life is a richer life with fewer boundaries to love and connection.
By seeing where we're attached to our fantasy of how life is supposed to be, the power of attachment diminishes and we can live more authentically. Ultimately, Bayda wishes that we could all wake up to how we are all skating on thin ice and become more skilled and courageous in working with difficult situations. Sounds fatalistic but he promises that a more aware and authentic life is a richer life with fewer boundaries to love and connection.
February 16, 2019
I loved everything about this book from the simple, yet rich way Ezra expressed, to the touching of the most meaningful areas of our lives. He points to that which may need to be healed (or perhaps closely looked at) and offers a way of turning toward, looking in, and moving through. It's a special book and I found it apropos. I love the way books find me.
July 21, 2021
While the book lacks direct quotation from the Buddha's words, it invites the reader to implement certain practices outlined by the author which I believe, when executed, will naturally lead the doer into the door of Dharma.
July 17, 2018
Just okay for me, which is about as good as a zen book can be for me. I suspect that is because trying to write about zen is like trying to write about the wind.
July 21, 2018
An excellent book with thoughts from the author on how to walk the difficult path life presents to us and feel equanimity throughout the journey.
September 4, 2020
Uno dei migliori libri su queste tematiche. Assolutamente stra consigliato!
August 6, 2025
Loved the breathing exercises, meditation practices, and discussions about the human experience.
February 3, 2016
Great book, alot of good advice on how to incorporate zen principals into everday life.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews