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407 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2014
I still can’t stop thinking about Nova... how she showed up last night. Showed up to see me. I’m still trying to process it. That someone would actually want to come see me, actually care enough about me to take the time to do so.
Nova was the light and I was stuck in the shadows all the time except for a few moments when she touched me, kissed me, let me touch her, and I couldn’t avoid her light.
I’m changing and I don’t like it. I’m feeling things and I don’t like it. My self-destruction plan is becoming complicated and I don’t like it. I don’t like anything at the moment, yet I keep doing the same things over and over again. Keep seeing Nova. Letting her affect me- change me. But I can’t seem to help it.
I know how hard it is to breathe again and it makes me understand, even though I don’t want to, that Quinton might not give in and let me help him breathe. That maybe all of this was pointless and no matter how hard you try to save someone, it might not turn out the way you want it.


















“And my future, well it seems pretty much dead, like I’m walking towards a coffin, ready to tuck myself in and pull the lid shut. Then maybe someone will do me the favor of burying me below the dirt, where I can stop breathing, stop thinking…”
“I wake up every morning feeling content that I’m drowning in darkness. Blissfully, mind-numingly content, without worrying or being haunted by my fucked-up past because I can’t feel a fucking thing. At least after I take my first hit.”
“Nova was the light and I was stuck in the shadows all the time except for a few moments when she touched me, kissed me, let me touch her, and I couldn’t avoid her light…”
“How did I get to this place? How did I think living this life would be better than being dead?”
“How do you get through to someone who doesn’t want you to get to them? How do you save someone who doesn’t want to be saved?”


