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Flynn Laukonen #1
A Note of Madness
Why is this happening to me? he asked himself desperately. What is wrong with me?
Life as a student should be good for Flynn. He's one of the top pianists at the Royal College of Music, he has been put forward for an opportunity-of-a-lifetime concert, and he's got great friends. But beneath the surface, he's falling apart.
On a good day he feels full of energy and life, but on a bad day being alive is worse than being dead. Sometimes he wants to compose and practice all night, at other times he can't get out of bed.
With the pressure of the forthcoming concert and the growing concern of his family and friends, emotions come to a head. Sometimes things can only get worse before they get better.
Life as a student should be good for Flynn. He's one of the top pianists at the Royal College of Music, he has been put forward for an opportunity-of-a-lifetime concert, and he's got great friends. But beneath the surface, he's falling apart.
On a good day he feels full of energy and life, but on a bad day being alive is worse than being dead. Sometimes he wants to compose and practice all night, at other times he can't get out of bed.
With the pressure of the forthcoming concert and the growing concern of his family and friends, emotions come to a head. Sometimes things can only get worse before they get better.
305 pages, Paperback
First published December 31, 2011
49 people are currently reading
3543 people want to read
About the author
Tabitha Suzuma
6 books3,557 followersAdd me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/tabitha.suzuma
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabithaSuzuma
Tabitha Suzuma was born in London, the eldest of five children. She attended a French school in the UK and grew up bilingual. However, she hated school and would sit at the back of the class and write stories, which she got away with because her teachers thought she was taking notes. Aged fourteen, Tabitha left school against her parents' wishes. She continued her education through distance learning and went on to study French Literature at King's College London.
After graduating, Tabitha trained as a primary school teacher and whilst teaching full-time, wrote her first novel.
A NOTE OF MADNESS tells the story of seventeen-year-old Flynn, a piano prodigy who is diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
In 2004 Tabitha Suzuma left classroom teaching to divide her time between writing and tutoring. This gave her time to write her next four novels:
FROM WHERE I STAND - a psychological thriller about Raven, a deeply disturbed teenager in foster care who self-harms and harbours a dreadful secret.
WITHOUT LOOKING BACK - about teenage dance sensation Louis, who suddenly finds himself uprooted from his home and whisked abroad on holiday by his mentally unstable father, until he sees his face on a missing person's poster.
A VOICE IN THE DISTANCE - a sequel to A NOTE OF MADNESS about Flynn and his continuing struggle to cope with his bipolar disorder without jeopardising his career or losing the girl he loves.
FORBIDDEN - Maya and Lochan are in love... But they are brother and sister.
Published in six different languages, this is her most controversial and heart-breaking novel to date.
HURT (out Sept 2013) - At seventeen, Matheo Walsh is Britain's most promising diving champion. He is wealthy, popular - and there's Lola, the girlfriend of his dreams. But then there was that weekend. A weekend he cannot bring himself to remember. All he knows is that what happened has changed him. Mathéo is faced with the most devastating choice of his life. Keep his secret, and put those closest to him in terrible danger. Or confess, and lose Lola for ever . . .
Tabitha Suzuma's books have been nominated for a number of awards including the Carnegie Medal, the Waterstone's Book Prize, the Jugendliteraturpreis and the Branford Boase Book Award. She has won the Young Minds Award, the Stockport Book Award, and the Premio Speciale Cariparma for European Literature.
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabithaSuzuma
Tabitha Suzuma was born in London, the eldest of five children. She attended a French school in the UK and grew up bilingual. However, she hated school and would sit at the back of the class and write stories, which she got away with because her teachers thought she was taking notes. Aged fourteen, Tabitha left school against her parents' wishes. She continued her education through distance learning and went on to study French Literature at King's College London.
After graduating, Tabitha trained as a primary school teacher and whilst teaching full-time, wrote her first novel.
A NOTE OF MADNESS tells the story of seventeen-year-old Flynn, a piano prodigy who is diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
In 2004 Tabitha Suzuma left classroom teaching to divide her time between writing and tutoring. This gave her time to write her next four novels:
FROM WHERE I STAND - a psychological thriller about Raven, a deeply disturbed teenager in foster care who self-harms and harbours a dreadful secret.
WITHOUT LOOKING BACK - about teenage dance sensation Louis, who suddenly finds himself uprooted from his home and whisked abroad on holiday by his mentally unstable father, until he sees his face on a missing person's poster.
A VOICE IN THE DISTANCE - a sequel to A NOTE OF MADNESS about Flynn and his continuing struggle to cope with his bipolar disorder without jeopardising his career or losing the girl he loves.
FORBIDDEN - Maya and Lochan are in love... But they are brother and sister.
Published in six different languages, this is her most controversial and heart-breaking novel to date.
HURT (out Sept 2013) - At seventeen, Matheo Walsh is Britain's most promising diving champion. He is wealthy, popular - and there's Lola, the girlfriend of his dreams. But then there was that weekend. A weekend he cannot bring himself to remember. All he knows is that what happened has changed him. Mathéo is faced with the most devastating choice of his life. Keep his secret, and put those closest to him in terrible danger. Or confess, and lose Lola for ever . . .
Tabitha Suzuma's books have been nominated for a number of awards including the Carnegie Medal, the Waterstone's Book Prize, the Jugendliteraturpreis and the Branford Boase Book Award. She has won the Young Minds Award, the Stockport Book Award, and the Premio Speciale Cariparma for European Literature.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 154 reviews
May 27, 2012
A few months ago, I read Ms. Suzuma's book, Forbidden - which was the first book I've ever read that made me cry (not just a bit of moisture, full on tears!). Immediately I went to see what other work she had published, and picked up A Note of Madness, her debut novel.
I knew from the beginning this book would be another tough read, but it was so worthwhile. Ms. Suzuma writes with an intensity that is impossible to walk away from - I was incredibly emotionally invested in this book right from the beginning.
Flynn is the kind of character that you just want to reach through the pages and comfort, and as family and friends try their best to reach out and help him, I could feel their hopelessness and concern. As Flynn's mental health fluctuates, so does the pacing - as a reader I felt like I was right inside his head, experiencing his highs and lows, emotions and experiences.
It wasn't until I finished reading and read some more about Ms Suzuma herself that I found out that mental illness is one of her own personal struggles, which makes me love this book even more - it is truly a work from the heart.
If the subject matter of Forbidden is one step too far for you, I strongly recommend that you read A Note of Madness instead - it's emotional, compelling and you will be incredibly touched by Flynn's story.
Read more of my reviews at The Aussie Zombie
I knew from the beginning this book would be another tough read, but it was so worthwhile. Ms. Suzuma writes with an intensity that is impossible to walk away from - I was incredibly emotionally invested in this book right from the beginning.
Flynn is the kind of character that you just want to reach through the pages and comfort, and as family and friends try their best to reach out and help him, I could feel their hopelessness and concern. As Flynn's mental health fluctuates, so does the pacing - as a reader I felt like I was right inside his head, experiencing his highs and lows, emotions and experiences.
It wasn't until I finished reading and read some more about Ms Suzuma herself that I found out that mental illness is one of her own personal struggles, which makes me love this book even more - it is truly a work from the heart.
If the subject matter of Forbidden is one step too far for you, I strongly recommend that you read A Note of Madness instead - it's emotional, compelling and you will be incredibly touched by Flynn's story.
Read more of my reviews at The Aussie Zombie
August 19, 2013
WOW! WOW! WOW!!!! This was awesome awesome awesome!!!! I read this in 24 hours and I was sucked in from the start. It's amazing and emotional and shows you firsthand what people with depression and bipolar go through. Their lives are so difficult and hard to imagine. I went through the highs and lows that Flynn went through. Me heart broke for him over and over again. I cried and stared wide-eyed at my kindle, my heart raced so fast at certain parts at his thoughts or when he was at his lowest. There were so many struggles he faced and it was hard for others to understand or sympathize. His friends Harry and Jennah were his biggest support, along with his brother Rami who was a doctor. His parents had no clue what to do for him, except give him advice, but he just shrugged and nodded just to appease them.
Music played the biggest part, he was an excellent, the top star pianist and he was damn good. I could feel his passion, his love for his music and it broke my heart when he wore himself down to exhaustion and delirium. I've already one book about bipolar, Find You in the Dark, one of my favorite series. And it was amazing. A Note of Madness was no different. It was phenomenal . And the fact that it's written by Tabitha Suzuma, it's no surprise how much I loved this book. I swear, her writing is just so lyrical and unique. Every word, every phrase, every sentence, every thought, just flows perfectly.
I loved loved loved loved loved loved loved LOVED this book!!!
Please, you all need to read this book! If you loved Forbidden, you'll love this book. Her characters are wonderful. I love Flynn. He's so much like Lochie. He's amazing. I think everyone will love him. He's so introverted and shy and adorable. But his struggles are just heartbreaking. This series needs more recognition, more attention. I neeeeed more people to read Flynn's story. It is in third person which I didn't like at first. I was afraid I wouldn't connect with him but honestly, it totally worked. It still held my attention, I still felt connected and still felt all the emotions. Five fat stars from me! Awesome job Tabitha!! I can't wait to read the sequel.
So here's my full review.
I read my first book by Tabitha 2 years ago, Forbidden. Everyone that knows me knows how much that book affected me. I was so scared to read it, but I'm so glad I did because it introduced me to an author that is not afraid to write a book that explores the mind, heavy issues, stepping outside the comfort zone, questioning your beliefs, she can do it all. This book was no different. After Forbidden, I knew she'd be an author I'd always look out for. I'd been meaning to read A Note of Madness for quite some time now. I finally bought it 2 days ago, started it last night and finished it tonight. That's pretty fucking speedy. I couldn't put it down, didn't want to. It was all I could think about. Tabitha has a way with words, a way with hooking you so you can't think of anything else.
Flynn is a pianist at a university. He's very good and talented, so much so that he's asked to be a part of a big concert, an important one, an opportunity that may come only once in his life. As he gets ready for it, he feels the pressure of being the star and he must do everything he can to be the best he can be. It gets to the point where he makes himself sick. He doesn't sleep, he's constantly practicing and writing music and he's so energetic that eventually it takes its toll on him. He becomes ill and his brother, who's a doctor, has him see a psychiatrist. Upon his diagnosis, he's treated for bi polar. Flynn never believed he could be bi polar, he always just thought he was tired, especially after not sleeping for days, being so full of energy that he went running miles at 3 in the morning around the block. But bi polar? It was a reality that he had to come to accept and it was a really difficult concept to grasp. He would fight with his friends, the slightest things set him off and he'd go screaming and shouting at those that cared the most about him. But in the end, he realized that's not normal. His behavior was questionable and riding on inexcusable.
Harry and Jennah were his best friends. He shared a flat with Harry. And Jennah, he'd loved for 7 years but never told her. So when she was dating Charlie, he lost his chance. But eventually, she broke up with Charlie because they had very little in common and he didn't like music. Jennah was a flutist and Harry was a cellist in the orchestra. The 3 of them were a great team. I loved the bond they all shared. But at times when Flynn went off the deep end, Jennah and Harry stood by him. They never turned their backs, they tried to help him. They were the ideal best friends and Flynn was lucky to have them. Thhey had some laughs, and then there were some frustrating moments. I was going crazy because I wanted Flynn to tell Jennah his feelings, because I knew she felt the same way about him. However, I kind of understood his issue. He was oblivious, and not only that, but he was scared. All the emotions and mentality he was dealing with, it was enough for him to go crazy. What kind of boyfriend would he be? He could barely manage to get through the days, half the time he wanted to die and it was just awful to bear witness to. My heart broke for him so much and the struggles he faced. But luckily, his friends were always by his side.
Rami was awesome. He was the ultimate support for Flynn, since he's a doctor. But even he couldn't always help him, so he made sure he took him to someone who could. I loved how amazing and protective of Flynn he was, a great big brother. He was rough with him at times, but those were times that it was called for. He did what any big brother would do, and I loved that about him. I enjoyed the advice he gave Flynn, about his feelings, about love, and about life in general. They were really great moments, and it tore through some of Flynn's hardened defenses, forcing him to show his vulnerable side. I liked his wife Sophie too. She's not in it too much, but from what we saw, she was a good support to her brother in law. You could see she cared about him and his well-being as much as Rami did.
All the other characters were great too. His parents were great and supportive, though they worried about Flynn and his obsession to work round the clock to practice. They were just like normal parents, concerned but they just didn't know the extent of his illness. And it worried them, when they found out. However, they still loved him and often checked up on him. His music professor was great, even though at first it seemed like he put too much pressure on him to be great and ready for the concert. But he meant well, and once he realized what Flynn had gone through, he backed off.
I loved the music. I loved the plot. I loved the writing in all its glory. Seriously, this is a book that will keep you up to find out what happens. When you're not reading it, you'll be wondering what's gonna happen next. It's just how Suzuma writes. You'll go through many emotions, maybe not as bad or intense as Forbidden, THANK GOD! I don't think I could take another one of those so soon. But evenso, I still immensely enjoyed this book. I can't wait to read more of Tabitha's books because I don't doubt for a second that I'll love them just as much. I recommend this book to all emotional junkies out there.
A Must Read!!
Music played the biggest part, he was an excellent, the top star pianist and he was damn good. I could feel his passion, his love for his music and it broke my heart when he wore himself down to exhaustion and delirium. I've already one book about bipolar, Find You in the Dark, one of my favorite series. And it was amazing. A Note of Madness was no different. It was phenomenal . And the fact that it's written by Tabitha Suzuma, it's no surprise how much I loved this book. I swear, her writing is just so lyrical and unique. Every word, every phrase, every sentence, every thought, just flows perfectly.
I loved loved loved loved loved loved loved LOVED this book!!!
Please, you all need to read this book! If you loved Forbidden, you'll love this book. Her characters are wonderful. I love Flynn. He's so much like Lochie. He's amazing. I think everyone will love him. He's so introverted and shy and adorable. But his struggles are just heartbreaking. This series needs more recognition, more attention. I neeeeed more people to read Flynn's story. It is in third person which I didn't like at first. I was afraid I wouldn't connect with him but honestly, it totally worked. It still held my attention, I still felt connected and still felt all the emotions. Five fat stars from me! Awesome job Tabitha!! I can't wait to read the sequel.
So here's my full review.
I read my first book by Tabitha 2 years ago, Forbidden. Everyone that knows me knows how much that book affected me. I was so scared to read it, but I'm so glad I did because it introduced me to an author that is not afraid to write a book that explores the mind, heavy issues, stepping outside the comfort zone, questioning your beliefs, she can do it all. This book was no different. After Forbidden, I knew she'd be an author I'd always look out for. I'd been meaning to read A Note of Madness for quite some time now. I finally bought it 2 days ago, started it last night and finished it tonight. That's pretty fucking speedy. I couldn't put it down, didn't want to. It was all I could think about. Tabitha has a way with words, a way with hooking you so you can't think of anything else.
Flynn is a pianist at a university. He's very good and talented, so much so that he's asked to be a part of a big concert, an important one, an opportunity that may come only once in his life. As he gets ready for it, he feels the pressure of being the star and he must do everything he can to be the best he can be. It gets to the point where he makes himself sick. He doesn't sleep, he's constantly practicing and writing music and he's so energetic that eventually it takes its toll on him. He becomes ill and his brother, who's a doctor, has him see a psychiatrist. Upon his diagnosis, he's treated for bi polar. Flynn never believed he could be bi polar, he always just thought he was tired, especially after not sleeping for days, being so full of energy that he went running miles at 3 in the morning around the block. But bi polar? It was a reality that he had to come to accept and it was a really difficult concept to grasp. He would fight with his friends, the slightest things set him off and he'd go screaming and shouting at those that cared the most about him. But in the end, he realized that's not normal. His behavior was questionable and riding on inexcusable.
Harry and Jennah were his best friends. He shared a flat with Harry. And Jennah, he'd loved for 7 years but never told her. So when she was dating Charlie, he lost his chance. But eventually, she broke up with Charlie because they had very little in common and he didn't like music. Jennah was a flutist and Harry was a cellist in the orchestra. The 3 of them were a great team. I loved the bond they all shared. But at times when Flynn went off the deep end, Jennah and Harry stood by him. They never turned their backs, they tried to help him. They were the ideal best friends and Flynn was lucky to have them. Thhey had some laughs, and then there were some frustrating moments. I was going crazy because I wanted Flynn to tell Jennah his feelings, because I knew she felt the same way about him. However, I kind of understood his issue. He was oblivious, and not only that, but he was scared. All the emotions and mentality he was dealing with, it was enough for him to go crazy. What kind of boyfriend would he be? He could barely manage to get through the days, half the time he wanted to die and it was just awful to bear witness to. My heart broke for him so much and the struggles he faced. But luckily, his friends were always by his side.
Rami was awesome. He was the ultimate support for Flynn, since he's a doctor. But even he couldn't always help him, so he made sure he took him to someone who could. I loved how amazing and protective of Flynn he was, a great big brother. He was rough with him at times, but those were times that it was called for. He did what any big brother would do, and I loved that about him. I enjoyed the advice he gave Flynn, about his feelings, about love, and about life in general. They were really great moments, and it tore through some of Flynn's hardened defenses, forcing him to show his vulnerable side. I liked his wife Sophie too. She's not in it too much, but from what we saw, she was a good support to her brother in law. You could see she cared about him and his well-being as much as Rami did.
All the other characters were great too. His parents were great and supportive, though they worried about Flynn and his obsession to work round the clock to practice. They were just like normal parents, concerned but they just didn't know the extent of his illness. And it worried them, when they found out. However, they still loved him and often checked up on him. His music professor was great, even though at first it seemed like he put too much pressure on him to be great and ready for the concert. But he meant well, and once he realized what Flynn had gone through, he backed off.
I loved the music. I loved the plot. I loved the writing in all its glory. Seriously, this is a book that will keep you up to find out what happens. When you're not reading it, you'll be wondering what's gonna happen next. It's just how Suzuma writes. You'll go through many emotions, maybe not as bad or intense as Forbidden, THANK GOD! I don't think I could take another one of those so soon. But evenso, I still immensely enjoyed this book. I can't wait to read more of Tabitha's books because I don't doubt for a second that I'll love them just as much. I recommend this book to all emotional junkies out there.
A Must Read!!
January 10, 2024
4.25 stars ✧
with forbidden being an all-time favorite, delving further into Suzuma's backlist was a prospect that'd been lingering in my mind for the longest time. and where better start than her debut?
breathtaking, albeit draining, a note of madness is the utmost realistic portrayal of what it's like for a creative to live with bipolar disorder, and how things get worse before they get better.
things to expect when picking up a Suzuma novel:
➳ characters that are so incredibly fleshed out, to think of them fictional would seem inconceivable to say the least.
➳ though difficult to read, writing that is simply awe-inspiring
music:
Rachmaninov - Third Piano Concerto
❝In my world black is white, one and one never makes two and agony and ecstasy lie irrevocably intertwined.❞
with forbidden being an all-time favorite, delving further into Suzuma's backlist was a prospect that'd been lingering in my mind for the longest time. and where better start than her debut?
breathtaking, albeit draining, a note of madness is the utmost realistic portrayal of what it's like for a creative to live with bipolar disorder, and how things get worse before they get better.
things to expect when picking up a Suzuma novel:
➳ characters that are so incredibly fleshed out, to think of them fictional would seem inconceivable to say the least.
➳ though difficult to read, writing that is simply awe-inspiring
music:
Rachmaninov - Third Piano Concerto
September 28, 2016
This book...
This...
THIS. BOOK.
THIS FREAKING AWESOME PIECE OF WORK
Oh my god I'm utterly in awe with this book. Tabitha Suzuma really doesn't mess around. She knows how to make you F E E L something; and oh boy this book made me feel EVERYTHING.
I really, really, really don't know how to express my opinion on this one.
But I can tell you something : Please read it. Please. Flynn's story deserves to be heard and acknowledged. Yes, it's dark at times and it will make you feel like something is twisting your heart and shattering your soul but it's SO beautiful and emotion-filled and just ... brilliant !!
Please read it.
Now if you'll excuse me I'll go back to my rocking-back-and-forth-sobbing state.
This...
THIS. BOOK.
THIS FREAKING AWESOME PIECE OF WORK
Oh my god I'm utterly in awe with this book. Tabitha Suzuma really doesn't mess around. She knows how to make you F E E L something; and oh boy this book made me feel EVERYTHING.
I really, really, really don't know how to express my opinion on this one.
But I can tell you something : Please read it. Please. Flynn's story deserves to be heard and acknowledged. Yes, it's dark at times and it will make you feel like something is twisting your heart and shattering your soul but it's SO beautiful and emotion-filled and just ... brilliant !!
Please read it.
January 31, 2012
Dear Tabitha, thank you for sending me such a fabulous book!
A Note of Madness is a compelling story, very moving, heart-breaking, emotional and a gripping read!
For someone who works with young people in education I found this story very helpful and informative on the subject of mental illness.
Tabitha loves to chalenge herself with taboo themes. Her style of writing totally draws you in to Flynn's world and makes you really understand how he is feeling. Honestly and beautifully written.
Overall: 4,5 stars just because I love Forbidden more.
A Note of Madness is a compelling story, very moving, heart-breaking, emotional and a gripping read!
For someone who works with young people in education I found this story very helpful and informative on the subject of mental illness.
Tabitha loves to chalenge herself with taboo themes. Her style of writing totally draws you in to Flynn's world and makes you really understand how he is feeling. Honestly and beautifully written.
Overall: 4,5 stars just because I love Forbidden more.
May 14, 2025
Very raw and real feeling
October 3, 2018
"I would give anything to escape myself, Flynn thought, just for a day, just for a minute even. Just to know what it was like to think differently, to feel differently, and to not be me.”
The wonders of Tabitha Suzuma’s writing have been sung by the choir of Goodreads for years. It was only natural that when I found this for a dollar at a used bookstore, I simply had to buy it. And all of her other books off of Thriftbooks. It was the only natural progression.
It took over a year for me to finally crack this book open. I fell in love with not only the book but the simplistic yet impactful way the author delivers her stories.
Around fifty pages in, I got sucked into the rabbit hole of college and was struggling to steal chapters between homework assignments and classes. It was pathetic how late I stayed up just for a single chapter. I would trudge through endless hours of homework with this book as my light at the end of the tunnel. It was that good.
"Anyway, what does mad mean exactly? Aren't we all a little mad? Don't we have to be somewhat mad just to go on living, to go on hoping?"
This little mighty book packs the emotional sucker punch of a novel twice it’s size and handles themes of mental illness with wonderful realism and accuracy. I particularly enjoyed the fact that the author doesn’t bother attempting to age or “YA wise-en” her characters. They’re young, they’re hurting, and they’re trying to figure out what to do in these situations that many adults haven’t truly figured out how to handle.
I not only felt for Flynn and friends, but I felt with them. Which is rare when all you read are books like these. You develop emotional calluses and stop caring as much. This book made me care.
"But whichever form it took it brought with it, in those moments of bitter anguish, such a desperate surge of hope that it was almost untouchable, and flitted away like a golden butterfly into the bright blue sky - beautiful, unreachable and completely transient."
I’m eagerly awaiting the opportunity to read the sequel to this, A Voice in the Distance. As I type this, it stares down at me from the small nook on my bookshelf I carved out for my personal fiction. I’d love to pick it up right now and devour it whole, but I guess I’ll just have to wait for a free weekend to curl up with another one of Tabitha Suzuma’s heartbreaking yet hopeful tales.
If you haven’t had the motivation or the chance to pick up one of her novels, do yourself a favor and give this one a try. Not only will it be worth your time but it’ll give you a chance to read one of the best British voices in YA right now and a damn good time.
"Here’s to getting reacquainted with your own feelings. Here’s to being able to want, without being sure you’re going to get. To risk being hurt and to risk being rejected. Here’s to life.”
The wonders of Tabitha Suzuma’s writing have been sung by the choir of Goodreads for years. It was only natural that when I found this for a dollar at a used bookstore, I simply had to buy it. And all of her other books off of Thriftbooks. It was the only natural progression.
It took over a year for me to finally crack this book open. I fell in love with not only the book but the simplistic yet impactful way the author delivers her stories.
Around fifty pages in, I got sucked into the rabbit hole of college and was struggling to steal chapters between homework assignments and classes. It was pathetic how late I stayed up just for a single chapter. I would trudge through endless hours of homework with this book as my light at the end of the tunnel. It was that good.
"Anyway, what does mad mean exactly? Aren't we all a little mad? Don't we have to be somewhat mad just to go on living, to go on hoping?"
This little mighty book packs the emotional sucker punch of a novel twice it’s size and handles themes of mental illness with wonderful realism and accuracy. I particularly enjoyed the fact that the author doesn’t bother attempting to age or “YA wise-en” her characters. They’re young, they’re hurting, and they’re trying to figure out what to do in these situations that many adults haven’t truly figured out how to handle.
I not only felt for Flynn and friends, but I felt with them. Which is rare when all you read are books like these. You develop emotional calluses and stop caring as much. This book made me care.
"But whichever form it took it brought with it, in those moments of bitter anguish, such a desperate surge of hope that it was almost untouchable, and flitted away like a golden butterfly into the bright blue sky - beautiful, unreachable and completely transient."
I’m eagerly awaiting the opportunity to read the sequel to this, A Voice in the Distance. As I type this, it stares down at me from the small nook on my bookshelf I carved out for my personal fiction. I’d love to pick it up right now and devour it whole, but I guess I’ll just have to wait for a free weekend to curl up with another one of Tabitha Suzuma’s heartbreaking yet hopeful tales.
If you haven’t had the motivation or the chance to pick up one of her novels, do yourself a favor and give this one a try. Not only will it be worth your time but it’ll give you a chance to read one of the best British voices in YA right now and a damn good time.
"Here’s to getting reacquainted with your own feelings. Here’s to being able to want, without being sure you’re going to get. To risk being hurt and to risk being rejected. Here’s to life.”
January 11, 2009
A gripping story about one teenager's possible decent into madness.
I loved the way Suzuma managed to portray and delve deep into a disturbed individual's mind, affected by the pressures of society and its mere existence in this world.
The scene where the main character and his friends physically struggled with each other in their room is very powerful and unforgettable.
The only downside is that Flynn can sometimes get a little repetitive in terms of his actions, bogging down the novel during select moments.
Overall, a nice read. 4/5.
I loved the way Suzuma managed to portray and delve deep into a disturbed individual's mind, affected by the pressures of society and its mere existence in this world.
The scene where the main character and his friends physically struggled with each other in their room is very powerful and unforgettable.
The only downside is that Flynn can sometimes get a little repetitive in terms of his actions, bogging down the novel during select moments.
Overall, a nice read. 4/5.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 3, 2012
I read Tabitha Suzuma’s ‘Forbidden’ last year. I liked it so much that I wanted to explore other works of hers. Whenever I discover a new writer and like one of her/his works, I try to read the first book of that writer. So I thought I will get Tabitha Suzuma’s first book, ‘A Note of Madness’. I finished reading it yesterday. Here is what I think.
‘A Note of Madness’ is about a classical music student, Flynn. Flynn discovers one day that his emotional state moves to sudden extremes. One day he feels very energetic. He goes for a midnight run. He doesn’t sleep for the next few days and tries to compose an opera. Then suddenly the bubble bursts and he doesn’t want to even get out of home. He doesn’t want to attend classes and he doesn’t want to talk to anyone. He feels depressed all the time. Flynn’s best friends are Harry and Jennah. Flynn loves Jennah, secretly. But he is scared that Jennah won’t love him back the same way and so doesn’t reveal his true feelings to her. Jennah loves Flynn. But she waits for him to make the first move. Flynn’s episodes of high energy and high depression continue for a while and one day, on the eve of an important recital, things become too much and he tries to jump out of the window. Flynn’s brother Rami, who is a doctor, takes him to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist diagnoses Flynn with bipolar disorder and prescribes lithium to him. Flynn starts taking medication but discovers that the medicine deadens his mind – he doesn’t feel depressed but he doesn’t feel excited too. It looks like he is incapable of both agony and ecstasy and the medicine has eliminated both the lows and highs of life. He feels dull all the time and after attending classes he prefers sitting at home and watching TV. One day he stops taking lithium. Sometime after that Jennah tries expressing her love to Flynn, but he pushes her away without meaning too. And things get worse from there. Does Flynn get cured of his bipolar disorder or does he learn how to manage it? Does his music career get back on track? Is he able to convey his true feelings to Jennah and does she accept him? The answers to these questions form the rest of the story.
‘A Note of Madness’ is a study in depression. It shows what happens when a talented young person suddenly faces the onslaught of manic depression and how his life changes irrevocably. It is one of the most realistic stories on depression that I have read. The main character in the story, Flynn, reminded me of the character Leonard in Jeffrey Eugenides’ ‘The Marriage Plot’. However, I found the portrayal of Flynn more convincing and real. After reading the story, I also discovered the difference between clinical depression and manic depression. One of my favourite passages which describes how Flynn thinks about the situation he is in, is this :
I feel as if someone close to me has died, or as if I’ve suffered some terrible loss. Yet nothing bad has happened and there is no reason for me to feel this way. A few days ago I believed I could write an opera, I was a musical genius and playing was effortless fun. I loved my friends, I loved my life. But now, just existing is pure agony and all I want is escape. Escape from this world, escape from this life, escape from myself.
Another of my favourite passages is this :
Go Rami, he silently implored him. You can’t help me, nobody can. You’ll never understand. You have no idea what it is like to be inside my body, my brain, my mind! Trying to describe my life and feelings to you is like trying to describe colours to the blind, or music to the deaf. It’s simply not possible. We may exist side by side, we may share the same blood, the same upbringing, but our minds exist in different worlds. You exist in the world of the rational, the world where every problem has a logical solution, every question has an answer. Can’t you see that none of my problems have solutions, my questions can’t be answered? Nothing in my irrational brain can be solved by your common sense, none of my pain can be shared by your structured emotions? In my world black is white, one and one never makes two and agony and ecstasy lie irrevocably intertwined. The only way to understand it is to share it and I would never wish this existence upon anybody, not even my worst enemy. You may try and sympathize, help and care with all your soul, but you will never, never understand.
There are many beautiful passages on music in the book. My favourite music passage is this:
The piece was made up of drops of icy water melting from an overhanging tree. Each simple note caused a stab of bittersweet pain as it fell against his skin like a pebble into still water, sending shivers down his spine. Flynn felt as if he could taste each note, feel it inside him, and as the late-afternoon sunlight slanted over Professor Kaiser’s dusty study, it was almost too much to bear. He came to the end of the piece and immediately wanted to play it again, to experience again the intense sensations created by nothing more than a simple arrangement of notes, longing for the piece once more like fresh juice on a hot summer’s day. Each note was more poignant than the last, more exquisite, until you didn’t feel as if another could surpass it and then one did and it was utterly overwhelming, so much so that your chest ached and your eyes stung and your whole body felt as if it would burst.
I also liked the character of Jennah in the story. I wish her character was explored in more depth and the story of her and Flynn’s love for each other was given more space. But the book is more about depression and so the love story is just a subplot in it. I was however pleasantly surprised when I discovered that this book has a sequel ‘A Voice in the Distance’ which gives more importance to the character of Jennah. I can’t wait to read that.
I liked ‘A Note of Madness’ very much. It is a study of depression, of love, of fear, of brilliance. It is beautiful, brilliant, and scary. I can’t wait to read its sequel ‘A Voice in the Distance’ to find out what happened to Flynn and Jennah.
Have you read ‘A Note of Madness’? What do you think about it?
‘A Note of Madness’ is about a classical music student, Flynn. Flynn discovers one day that his emotional state moves to sudden extremes. One day he feels very energetic. He goes for a midnight run. He doesn’t sleep for the next few days and tries to compose an opera. Then suddenly the bubble bursts and he doesn’t want to even get out of home. He doesn’t want to attend classes and he doesn’t want to talk to anyone. He feels depressed all the time. Flynn’s best friends are Harry and Jennah. Flynn loves Jennah, secretly. But he is scared that Jennah won’t love him back the same way and so doesn’t reveal his true feelings to her. Jennah loves Flynn. But she waits for him to make the first move. Flynn’s episodes of high energy and high depression continue for a while and one day, on the eve of an important recital, things become too much and he tries to jump out of the window. Flynn’s brother Rami, who is a doctor, takes him to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist diagnoses Flynn with bipolar disorder and prescribes lithium to him. Flynn starts taking medication but discovers that the medicine deadens his mind – he doesn’t feel depressed but he doesn’t feel excited too. It looks like he is incapable of both agony and ecstasy and the medicine has eliminated both the lows and highs of life. He feels dull all the time and after attending classes he prefers sitting at home and watching TV. One day he stops taking lithium. Sometime after that Jennah tries expressing her love to Flynn, but he pushes her away without meaning too. And things get worse from there. Does Flynn get cured of his bipolar disorder or does he learn how to manage it? Does his music career get back on track? Is he able to convey his true feelings to Jennah and does she accept him? The answers to these questions form the rest of the story.
‘A Note of Madness’ is a study in depression. It shows what happens when a talented young person suddenly faces the onslaught of manic depression and how his life changes irrevocably. It is one of the most realistic stories on depression that I have read. The main character in the story, Flynn, reminded me of the character Leonard in Jeffrey Eugenides’ ‘The Marriage Plot’. However, I found the portrayal of Flynn more convincing and real. After reading the story, I also discovered the difference between clinical depression and manic depression. One of my favourite passages which describes how Flynn thinks about the situation he is in, is this :
I feel as if someone close to me has died, or as if I’ve suffered some terrible loss. Yet nothing bad has happened and there is no reason for me to feel this way. A few days ago I believed I could write an opera, I was a musical genius and playing was effortless fun. I loved my friends, I loved my life. But now, just existing is pure agony and all I want is escape. Escape from this world, escape from this life, escape from myself.
Another of my favourite passages is this :
Go Rami, he silently implored him. You can’t help me, nobody can. You’ll never understand. You have no idea what it is like to be inside my body, my brain, my mind! Trying to describe my life and feelings to you is like trying to describe colours to the blind, or music to the deaf. It’s simply not possible. We may exist side by side, we may share the same blood, the same upbringing, but our minds exist in different worlds. You exist in the world of the rational, the world where every problem has a logical solution, every question has an answer. Can’t you see that none of my problems have solutions, my questions can’t be answered? Nothing in my irrational brain can be solved by your common sense, none of my pain can be shared by your structured emotions? In my world black is white, one and one never makes two and agony and ecstasy lie irrevocably intertwined. The only way to understand it is to share it and I would never wish this existence upon anybody, not even my worst enemy. You may try and sympathize, help and care with all your soul, but you will never, never understand.
There are many beautiful passages on music in the book. My favourite music passage is this:
The piece was made up of drops of icy water melting from an overhanging tree. Each simple note caused a stab of bittersweet pain as it fell against his skin like a pebble into still water, sending shivers down his spine. Flynn felt as if he could taste each note, feel it inside him, and as the late-afternoon sunlight slanted over Professor Kaiser’s dusty study, it was almost too much to bear. He came to the end of the piece and immediately wanted to play it again, to experience again the intense sensations created by nothing more than a simple arrangement of notes, longing for the piece once more like fresh juice on a hot summer’s day. Each note was more poignant than the last, more exquisite, until you didn’t feel as if another could surpass it and then one did and it was utterly overwhelming, so much so that your chest ached and your eyes stung and your whole body felt as if it would burst.
I also liked the character of Jennah in the story. I wish her character was explored in more depth and the story of her and Flynn’s love for each other was given more space. But the book is more about depression and so the love story is just a subplot in it. I was however pleasantly surprised when I discovered that this book has a sequel ‘A Voice in the Distance’ which gives more importance to the character of Jennah. I can’t wait to read that.
I liked ‘A Note of Madness’ very much. It is a study of depression, of love, of fear, of brilliance. It is beautiful, brilliant, and scary. I can’t wait to read its sequel ‘A Voice in the Distance’ to find out what happened to Flynn and Jennah.
Have you read ‘A Note of Madness’? What do you think about it?
September 24, 2014
Have you ever wondered how madness begin? Is it really just a chemical imbalance that a mere prescribed pill can stave off? Since he was four years old, Flynn had always known music is in his future. Some could consider him as a virtuoso - but that's not how he sees himself. His days are a cycle of crippling depression and brilliant music composition. When he was chosen to play at the prestigious Royal Albert Hall, pressure builds to an explosive point as he struggles to keep his insanity away.
Reading Flynn's descent to madness was interesting. Tabitha Suzuma seemed to be well acquainted, clinically and emotionally with what happens to a person suffering from having a bipolar disease. She's able to paint a pretty visceral picture of the steady decline of Flynn's mind. The suffocating need to burst into tears, the intermittent mood swings and the constant second-guessing of what's real and what's imagined. No. Flynn did not suffer any delusions brought on by his madness. What I meant was that he constantly questioned the authenticity of his musical brilliance - because some days, he couldn't even decipher a single note and on a good day, he could compose a whole opera. It was heartbreaking to see such a gifted mind go to waste.
My only problem, and keep in mind that this is a personal problem, is that there happened to be a disconnection between the character and his actual emotions. I say this is a personal problem simply because I'm not a fan of third person POV. I always find it impersonal and cold. I wanted to feel whatever it was he was feeling but couldn't because being told of what he was going through is entirely different from being "one" with Flynn. The same goes when Flynn's on a high. I can easily picture him on hyper-speed but I didn't feel the heart-pounding adrenaline that goes along with it. Unfortunate, really because a book with this theme requires the reader's fully vested emotions for an even better reading experience.
Tabitha Suzuma is an author whose books are something that I've always been intimidated to read. This was sort of a baptism of fire for me. I was hoping it would ease me into reading more of her works because rumour has it that hers are not for the faint of heart. And in a way, I'm glad that I picked this one. Please don't misunderstand; I think this book would still put any reader (other than me) through the wringer. If Forbidden was written in the same fashion, then perhaps it won't be so bad. But somehow, I highly doubt that there's enough heart breaking books that could prepare me for her more well-known work. I've had this book on my shelves since it came out but I'm just too cowardice to dive in.
All in all, this book was a great introduction to Suzuma's works. It eased my discomfiture some...but I think I'm going to have to psych myself a bit more to pick up Forbidden next.
Reading Flynn's descent to madness was interesting. Tabitha Suzuma seemed to be well acquainted, clinically and emotionally with what happens to a person suffering from having a bipolar disease. She's able to paint a pretty visceral picture of the steady decline of Flynn's mind. The suffocating need to burst into tears, the intermittent mood swings and the constant second-guessing of what's real and what's imagined. No. Flynn did not suffer any delusions brought on by his madness. What I meant was that he constantly questioned the authenticity of his musical brilliance - because some days, he couldn't even decipher a single note and on a good day, he could compose a whole opera. It was heartbreaking to see such a gifted mind go to waste.
My only problem, and keep in mind that this is a personal problem, is that there happened to be a disconnection between the character and his actual emotions. I say this is a personal problem simply because I'm not a fan of third person POV. I always find it impersonal and cold. I wanted to feel whatever it was he was feeling but couldn't because being told of what he was going through is entirely different from being "one" with Flynn. The same goes when Flynn's on a high. I can easily picture him on hyper-speed but I didn't feel the heart-pounding adrenaline that goes along with it. Unfortunate, really because a book with this theme requires the reader's fully vested emotions for an even better reading experience.
Tabitha Suzuma is an author whose books are something that I've always been intimidated to read. This was sort of a baptism of fire for me. I was hoping it would ease me into reading more of her works because rumour has it that hers are not for the faint of heart. And in a way, I'm glad that I picked this one. Please don't misunderstand; I think this book would still put any reader (other than me) through the wringer. If Forbidden was written in the same fashion, then perhaps it won't be so bad. But somehow, I highly doubt that there's enough heart breaking books that could prepare me for her more well-known work. I've had this book on my shelves since it came out but I'm just too cowardice to dive in.
All in all, this book was a great introduction to Suzuma's works. It eased my discomfiture some...but I think I'm going to have to psych myself a bit more to pick up Forbidden next.
February 21, 2016
This book.....I LOVE IT.I LOVE IT.I.LOVE.IT.
It's a beautiful madness,crazy,energetic and dramatic.
I love everything about this book,the story,the characters,the challenge,the trauma,EVERYTHING.
At first,when Flynn was going all loco because of the concert before I knew
about "Bi Polar Disorder" he reminded me of the movie Black Swan,I thought
he was just seeking for the non-existent perfection like Natalie Portman.
Then,I thought with all the mood swings,that he's schizophrenic.
Harry,is just the best best friend in the world!! I mean,he doesn't even
stay mad for long,that's not normal,so fictional ;)
Jennah and Flynn,there was not much about them in the book but,I really like
how Tabitha kept hinting about Jennah's love for Flynn and gave something
at the very end,it was torture but good kind.
I don't really how to review this book,because that's clearly not a review,
I just love it all and everything.I couldn't sleep till I finished this book,in one day
I've finished it and wanted more,it's just AMAZING!
It's a beautiful madness,crazy,energetic and dramatic.
I love everything about this book,the story,the characters,the challenge,the trauma,EVERYTHING.
At first,when Flynn was going all loco because of the concert before I knew
about "Bi Polar Disorder" he reminded me of the movie Black Swan,I thought
he was just seeking for the non-existent perfection like Natalie Portman.
Then,I thought with all the mood swings,that he's schizophrenic.
Harry,is just the best best friend in the world!! I mean,he doesn't even
stay mad for long,that's not normal,so fictional ;)
Jennah and Flynn,there was not much about them in the book but,I really like
how Tabitha kept hinting about Jennah's love for Flynn and gave something
at the very end,it was torture but good kind.
I don't really how to review this book,because that's clearly not a review,
I just love it all and everything.I couldn't sleep till I finished this book,in one day
I've finished it and wanted more,it's just AMAZING!
February 26, 2023
Who is Flynn? I dont know. Not a boy. He reads like a 13 year old girl. What’s his personality like? I have no idea. I know who Jennah and Harry are, but Flynn? Not a clue. He shrugs, nodds, blushes and walks away. There is no Flynn. Who are Jennah and Harry friends with? Who have they been hanging out with and laughing for years and years? I understand that he became sick, but what about the BEFORE Flynn? Is he nothing but his hyperactivity and his melancholia?
Even though depression sucks the light out of a person, there is still a PERSON in the PERSON. And I could not see anyone in Flynn.
And another thing I failed to understand.. why do Jennah and Harry keep coming back to Flynn even though he screamed at them: “leave me alone” at least a dozen times? I found it rather difficult to sympathize with him. But of course everybody’s experience with depression is different so I wouldn’t know for sure.
The book was kinda enjoyable and I do fancy books about mental health, but the element of character building was missing big time.
Much of the dialoge sounded robotic. Nothing normal people would say in everyday life.
I am unsure wether I am gonna pick up the second book or not.
Even though depression sucks the light out of a person, there is still a PERSON in the PERSON. And I could not see anyone in Flynn.
And another thing I failed to understand.. why do Jennah and Harry keep coming back to Flynn even though he screamed at them: “leave me alone” at least a dozen times? I found it rather difficult to sympathize with him. But of course everybody’s experience with depression is different so I wouldn’t know for sure.
The book was kinda enjoyable and I do fancy books about mental health, but the element of character building was missing big time.
Much of the dialoge sounded robotic. Nothing normal people would say in everyday life.
I am unsure wether I am gonna pick up the second book or not.
July 14, 2017
*4.5 stars*
A beautiful, albeit exhausting portrait of mental illness.
Jumping faster and faster from the exciting sparks of energy, inspiration and will to live to the pitch black bottom of despair to the cold numbness, just to start it all again and again isn't easy.
I will be wishing for the best, while expecting the worst.
October 31, 2023
3.75 stars!
June 30, 2023
Flynn is a brilliant young pianist at the Royal College of Music, but just when everything seems to be going his way, he starts to have uncontrollable mood swings. A sympathetic portrait of the havoc mental disorders can cause on young lives.
June 8, 2011
The cat had Tabitha Suzuma’s Forbidden in her Amazon basket for a while before she finally ordered it (much of this was due to Joanna Kenrick who suggested reading some of Suzuma’s writings). Anyways, the cat’s a bit autistic, so instead of reading the current cult hit Forbidden first, she decided to start with Suzuma’s debut A Note of Madness.
Flynn is talented pianist at the Royal College of Music in London, he’s got a small circle of good friends, a loving family, but when he starts to prepare for a big concert, ‘madness’ strikes and suddenly he can’t believe how he managed to con people into believing he was ever any good at playing the piano, and starts losing all sense of self-control. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Flynn is suffering from bipolar disorder (what? The running at night time or the writing of an opera in a matter of hours, or the not being able to get out of bed for days or even the hanging outside of a window, didn’t tip you off?).
Many many many eons ago the cat was a teenager too, add to that dozens and dozens of YA-novels in the span of a couple of years, and by now the cat knows that a teen’s life is never uncomplicated, easy, normal, protected… I get that writers feel the urge to ‘educate’ their readership. Tabitha Suzuma does just that: straightforward prose, no real shock tactics, the plain hard truth about what Flynn’s manic depression is all about. We get to see the symptoms, we get to see the reactions of family and friends, the diagnosis, the treatment (in Flynn’s case lithium), the reaction to (and rejection of) the drugs, the relapse… etc.
For anyone who’s interested into getting an insight into bipolar disorder, this is the ideal book, no doubt about it. Just to illustrate this, here’s a few things that Flynn says. First about his down periods: “Trying to describe my life and feelings to you is like trying to describe colours to the blind, or music to the deaf. […] You exist in the world of the rational, the world where every problem has a logical solution, every questions has an answer. Can’t you see that none of my problems have solutions, my questions can’t be answered? Nothing in my irrational brain can be solved by your commons sense, none of my pain can be shared by your structured emotions! I my world black is white, and one and one never makes two and agony and ecstasy lie irrevocably intertwined.” (p. 132-133) During one of his up periods he thinks: “I’m the Royal College’s top pianist. He ran up the incline to the top of the hill, barely out of breath. At the top he spun round, arms outstretched, laughing at the sky. He was alive again. His body was fizzing, his mind was buzzing, and the manic beat of the music made him want to leap and shout. The air around him felt electric. Anything is possible, he wanted to shout at the sky… ANYTHING. […] I’m damn good. Nothing can knock me down. You won’t slow me down with pills. You won’t slow me down with anything.” (p. 254)
But here’s the catch… whatever makes this the ideal book to learn something more about bipolar disorder is also the thing that makes this book so predictable and totally unsurprising. There’s never a twist or turn – Flynn’s hyper moments are just predictably hyper – that knocks me off my socks (OK, so I was a bit – by unpleasantly so – surprised that Flynn’s brother Rami (a doctor!) didn’t recognize the symptoms sooner). Suzuma’s writing is also too straightforward to make me feel any of the ecstasy that Flynn experiences during his ups. Straightforward writing, yes… but at the same time what did actually bother me more than the predictability of it all, was the switching between 1st and 3rd person narration (both Flynn’s apparently). I don’t quite know what to make of this. Is it an attempt to ‘show Flynn’s twisted mind’? It may work for you, but for me it just detracted from really getting into Flynn’s mind – which was, for all intents and purposes, what Suzuma set out to do.
I will read Forbidden (Suzuma hasn’t really put me off or anything), but I do hope there’s more there to surprise me than there was in A Note of Madness.
Flynn is talented pianist at the Royal College of Music in London, he’s got a small circle of good friends, a loving family, but when he starts to prepare for a big concert, ‘madness’ strikes and suddenly he can’t believe how he managed to con people into believing he was ever any good at playing the piano, and starts losing all sense of self-control. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Flynn is suffering from bipolar disorder (what? The running at night time or the writing of an opera in a matter of hours, or the not being able to get out of bed for days or even the hanging outside of a window, didn’t tip you off?).
Many many many eons ago the cat was a teenager too, add to that dozens and dozens of YA-novels in the span of a couple of years, and by now the cat knows that a teen’s life is never uncomplicated, easy, normal, protected… I get that writers feel the urge to ‘educate’ their readership. Tabitha Suzuma does just that: straightforward prose, no real shock tactics, the plain hard truth about what Flynn’s manic depression is all about. We get to see the symptoms, we get to see the reactions of family and friends, the diagnosis, the treatment (in Flynn’s case lithium), the reaction to (and rejection of) the drugs, the relapse… etc.
For anyone who’s interested into getting an insight into bipolar disorder, this is the ideal book, no doubt about it. Just to illustrate this, here’s a few things that Flynn says. First about his down periods: “Trying to describe my life and feelings to you is like trying to describe colours to the blind, or music to the deaf. […] You exist in the world of the rational, the world where every problem has a logical solution, every questions has an answer. Can’t you see that none of my problems have solutions, my questions can’t be answered? Nothing in my irrational brain can be solved by your commons sense, none of my pain can be shared by your structured emotions! I my world black is white, and one and one never makes two and agony and ecstasy lie irrevocably intertwined.” (p. 132-133) During one of his up periods he thinks: “I’m the Royal College’s top pianist. He ran up the incline to the top of the hill, barely out of breath. At the top he spun round, arms outstretched, laughing at the sky. He was alive again. His body was fizzing, his mind was buzzing, and the manic beat of the music made him want to leap and shout. The air around him felt electric. Anything is possible, he wanted to shout at the sky… ANYTHING. […] I’m damn good. Nothing can knock me down. You won’t slow me down with pills. You won’t slow me down with anything.” (p. 254)
But here’s the catch… whatever makes this the ideal book to learn something more about bipolar disorder is also the thing that makes this book so predictable and totally unsurprising. There’s never a twist or turn – Flynn’s hyper moments are just predictably hyper – that knocks me off my socks (OK, so I was a bit – by unpleasantly so – surprised that Flynn’s brother Rami (a doctor!) didn’t recognize the symptoms sooner). Suzuma’s writing is also too straightforward to make me feel any of the ecstasy that Flynn experiences during his ups. Straightforward writing, yes… but at the same time what did actually bother me more than the predictability of it all, was the switching between 1st and 3rd person narration (both Flynn’s apparently). I don’t quite know what to make of this. Is it an attempt to ‘show Flynn’s twisted mind’? It may work for you, but for me it just detracted from really getting into Flynn’s mind – which was, for all intents and purposes, what Suzuma set out to do.
I will read Forbidden (Suzuma hasn’t really put me off or anything), but I do hope there’s more there to surprise me than there was in A Note of Madness.
May 5, 2017
A Note of Madness is a gripping look into what it's like to struggle with mental illness, particularly as a creative person.
I really sympathized with Flynn, the protagonist, as he deals with the pressure of being a piano prodigy and the ensuing spiral of depression he goes through when he feels like he's not good enough. A lot of things in this book really struck a chord with me (no pun intended ... okay maybe intended a little). I'm not really a musician, but as a writer/artist I understand that feeling of immense pressure to do well, and that fear that you'll never live up to the expectations of the people around you, much less your own expectations.
This novel really captures what mental illness feels like, and how it affects both you and the people around you. It's not something romantic or graceful, but something that can make you feel utterly empty and hopeless––there were definitely some descriptions and events in this book that really felt like a punch in the gut to me.
But ultimately, the story has a lot of hope, and an informative and healthy message about getting the help you need. Even when he's at his worst, Flynn's friends and family are there to support him, which is comforting to see.
I do think the book got a little repetitive in parts and could have been a bit shorter, but over all I enjoyed it and I'm definitely going to read the sequel!
I really sympathized with Flynn, the protagonist, as he deals with the pressure of being a piano prodigy and the ensuing spiral of depression he goes through when he feels like he's not good enough. A lot of things in this book really struck a chord with me (no pun intended ... okay maybe intended a little). I'm not really a musician, but as a writer/artist I understand that feeling of immense pressure to do well, and that fear that you'll never live up to the expectations of the people around you, much less your own expectations.
This novel really captures what mental illness feels like, and how it affects both you and the people around you. It's not something romantic or graceful, but something that can make you feel utterly empty and hopeless––there were definitely some descriptions and events in this book that really felt like a punch in the gut to me.
But ultimately, the story has a lot of hope, and an informative and healthy message about getting the help you need. Even when he's at his worst, Flynn's friends and family are there to support him, which is comforting to see.
I do think the book got a little repetitive in parts and could have been a bit shorter, but over all I enjoyed it and I'm definitely going to read the sequel!
November 18, 2015
This book is by the author of Forbidden and the main reason that I fell in love with that book, and Tabitha Suzuma, was the ability to really see in Lochan's head and feel the mental illness from a first hand perspective. I remember saying something in my review of Forbidden about the first half of that book really focusing on Lochan and I could have read an entire book of just that. Well A Note of Madness is that book I was hoping for! So why did I give it 4 stars when I gave Forbidden 5 stars? Well, unfortunately, as much as I did enjoy this novel, I didn't connect to Flynn like I did to Lochan. Maybe because I had felt milder versions of the fears and inner turmoils that Lochan went through at some time in my life whereas I couldn't really relate as well to the type of mental illness that Flynn is going through? or Maybe it was because, this being a debut novel, it just wasn't as well polished as the writing for Lochan was? I don't really know the reason for it, but I didn't connect to the point of holding my breath and wiping away tears like I did for Lochan in Forbidden. But Tabitha Suzuma is a brilliant writer, there is no doubt about that.
So this book is about Flynn and how when everything is going good in his life, and he should be happier than ever, he instead is falling apart inside. He's misdiagnosed at first and then there's a struggle with getting better even after really figuring out what's wrong.
In the beginning I found this novel to actually be a little pretentious. For the first 50 pages we have a group of friends that are pretty much musical geniuses (since they all go to this prestigious music school) and there is a lot of musical jargon that I can't imagine anyone would want to read if they didn't play an instrument/know how to read music. I happen to be able to read music and can still play so I was able to keep up, but with all the talk of arpeggios, bars, fortissimo piano, etc...I definitely would have still hated it if the book had carried on like that. It felt like a genius club and you had to be on their wave length to even be able to understand what the story was about. Thankfully though, it was just to set up the atmosphere, and after the first 50 pages the focus is more on Flynn's struggle.
I think if Tabitha had written this book after Forbidden, this would have been a story that would have blown my mind! But as it was, it's still very good. I'd liken it to It's Kind of a Funny Story in it's ability to explain the struggles of mental illness from a first hand perspective. Why do I like stories like this? I don't know...there's something about reading the vulnerability inside someone's mind when they panic to the point of incoherence, or when they reach a point that they are internally (or externally) begging to just have it all end so they don't have to suffer for a second longer. I guess I like to read the raw feelings that only some authors can articulate so perfectly that it's the most real thing you've experienced in fiction.
This book felt wrapped up pretty well, but I'll still be reading A Voice in the Distance (the second and last book in this two part series) to see how Flynn is getting on now.
So this book is about Flynn and how when everything is going good in his life, and he should be happier than ever, he instead is falling apart inside. He's misdiagnosed at first and then there's a struggle with getting better even after really figuring out what's wrong.
In the beginning I found this novel to actually be a little pretentious. For the first 50 pages we have a group of friends that are pretty much musical geniuses (since they all go to this prestigious music school) and there is a lot of musical jargon that I can't imagine anyone would want to read if they didn't play an instrument/know how to read music. I happen to be able to read music and can still play so I was able to keep up, but with all the talk of arpeggios, bars, fortissimo piano, etc...I definitely would have still hated it if the book had carried on like that. It felt like a genius club and you had to be on their wave length to even be able to understand what the story was about. Thankfully though, it was just to set up the atmosphere, and after the first 50 pages the focus is more on Flynn's struggle.
I think if Tabitha had written this book after Forbidden, this would have been a story that would have blown my mind! But as it was, it's still very good. I'd liken it to It's Kind of a Funny Story in it's ability to explain the struggles of mental illness from a first hand perspective. Why do I like stories like this? I don't know...there's something about reading the vulnerability inside someone's mind when they panic to the point of incoherence, or when they reach a point that they are internally (or externally) begging to just have it all end so they don't have to suffer for a second longer. I guess I like to read the raw feelings that only some authors can articulate so perfectly that it's the most real thing you've experienced in fiction.
This book felt wrapped up pretty well, but I'll still be reading A Voice in the Distance (the second and last book in this two part series) to see how Flynn is getting on now.
March 6, 2017
This book gave such a sobering portrayal of bipolar disorder and mental illness in general. I'm so glad it exists.
February 4, 2013
Once again I can say I'm moved by Tabitha's writing.
This book was a personal challenge for me. I'm pretty familiar with most of the situations and feelings that Flynn experiences which made it really difficult to read at some points, but at the same time I couldn't put the book down. It was definitely a great therapy :)
Bipolar disorder is an unknown illness for most people. Moreover, it's one of those illnesses that no one talks about, like most of the mental disorders. But, what is different about the brain from any other organ in our body? Again, we judge things we don't understand, which make us think and scare us. I wish people would read this book and understand that mental disorders don't always equal madness.
This story makes you see how powerful our brain can be, how devastating the consequences of it ruling all our body and soul. Flynn is surrounded by incredible characters that help him overcome this difficult illness. But even others can help in this fight, he is the one who has to flick the switch in order to win the battle, there is no other way.
I understand that this book is about Flynn and about the beginning of his illness, but I really missed a little bit more of romance. I loved the way Flynn and Jennah finally end up together and I expect to see all about their relationshio in the sequel.
This book was a personal challenge for me. I'm pretty familiar with most of the situations and feelings that Flynn experiences which made it really difficult to read at some points, but at the same time I couldn't put the book down. It was definitely a great therapy :)
Bipolar disorder is an unknown illness for most people. Moreover, it's one of those illnesses that no one talks about, like most of the mental disorders. But, what is different about the brain from any other organ in our body? Again, we judge things we don't understand, which make us think and scare us. I wish people would read this book and understand that mental disorders don't always equal madness.
This story makes you see how powerful our brain can be, how devastating the consequences of it ruling all our body and soul. Flynn is surrounded by incredible characters that help him overcome this difficult illness. But even others can help in this fight, he is the one who has to flick the switch in order to win the battle, there is no other way.
I understand that this book is about Flynn and about the beginning of his illness, but I really missed a little bit more of romance. I loved the way Flynn and Jennah finally end up together and I expect to see all about their relationshio in the sequel.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 18, 2025
The writing is amazing. It starts with the musings about madness in the prologue, and it just doesn’t end. I devoured the book, submerged myself in its emotions and felt every one of them. Suzuma writes amazingly about both the ups and the downs – the fevered excitement just exudes from the page, and the lonely despair grabs you and doesn’t let go.
Another thing I really enjoyed about the writing was that every description was laced with memories. I’ve said before that I’m not a very visual person, and I usually skim descriptions, but Suzuma made everything she described mean something.
It’s hard for me to say how I felt about Flynn, because I felt like I was Flynn. Whether it was the writing or how close the emotions came to my own situation, it didn’t feel like I was reading a book about somebody else.
Of course, in a book that’s so set inside someone’s head, all the other characters become secondary. Like the rest of the book, they’re really well-written. Their concern is palpable, and their ignorance of what is truly happening inside of Flynn’s head and their inability to grasp what his emotions and moods really mean was so realistic it was painful.
Another thing I really enjoyed about the writing was that every description was laced with memories. I’ve said before that I’m not a very visual person, and I usually skim descriptions, but Suzuma made everything she described mean something.
It’s hard for me to say how I felt about Flynn, because I felt like I was Flynn. Whether it was the writing or how close the emotions came to my own situation, it didn’t feel like I was reading a book about somebody else.
Of course, in a book that’s so set inside someone’s head, all the other characters become secondary. Like the rest of the book, they’re really well-written. Their concern is palpable, and their ignorance of what is truly happening inside of Flynn’s head and their inability to grasp what his emotions and moods really mean was so realistic it was painful.
May 27, 2012
This book was a bit clunky at the start, especially since alot of the content was related to classical music which I know nothing about. As it got further in, the story flowed more easily, the way I expect a Tabitha Suzuma novel to.
The Flynn-Jennah thing was a bit confusing. Not that he didn't believe she liked him, that's understandable given his situation, but I didn't see alot in their interactions that explained her liking him. Like there wasn't alot of depth or anything, she never gave reasons other than he's super good at music which would be a pretty superficial reason to like someone. I know people don't stand around and list all the reasons they like/love someone, but because the story was so focused on his condition, we didn't see enough from 'before' to explain her infatuation.
I'm studying psychology so the bipolar part was obviously interesting to me, but because it was heavy on music content, I got lost in places. Overall, good book.
The Flynn-Jennah thing was a bit confusing. Not that he didn't believe she liked him, that's understandable given his situation, but I didn't see alot in their interactions that explained her liking him. Like there wasn't alot of depth or anything, she never gave reasons other than he's super good at music which would be a pretty superficial reason to like someone. I know people don't stand around and list all the reasons they like/love someone, but because the story was so focused on his condition, we didn't see enough from 'before' to explain her infatuation.
I'm studying psychology so the bipolar part was obviously interesting to me, but because it was heavy on music content, I got lost in places. Overall, good book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 3, 2014
FIRST I HATE THE COVER OF THIS NOVEL
3 stars (I don`t know how to rate this novel at all )
so this is the second novel that I read by Tabitha Suzuma
First this author is really good writer and storyteller like she knows exactly what being bipolar patient like ... and her descriptions of all the emotions that Flyn felt was so good
I really felt boring after reading the half of this novel everything kept going from bad to worst and good thing happened only at the end (thanks God this novel is short )
but I really like this novel but not much like Forbidden which was better than this one...
I totally recommend it to people who like to read about mental illness
3 stars (I don`t know how to rate this novel at all )
so this is the second novel that I read by Tabitha Suzuma
First this author is really good writer and storyteller like she knows exactly what being bipolar patient like ... and her descriptions of all the emotions that Flyn felt was so good
I really felt boring after reading the half of this novel everything kept going from bad to worst and good thing happened only at the end (thanks God this novel is short )
but I really like this novel but not much like Forbidden which was better than this one...
I totally recommend it to people who like to read about mental illness
March 12, 2011
I thought it was ok, if lightweight. I enjoyed Forbidden a bit more, that has to be said, and even though I did feel sorry for Flynn, and I'm sure that he was in dreadful pain, he really grated my nerves at times.
I have to say, maybe my disappointment was my own fault. When I was told that this book was about a classical pianist, I decided to read it without looking at the synopsis, so I only found out after starting to read it that the author was going to focus a lot more on his bipolar disorder than on his career as a pianist. It's fine that she chose that. I just wished there had been more to the plot than Flynn's mood swings.
I have to say, maybe my disappointment was my own fault. When I was told that this book was about a classical pianist, I decided to read it without looking at the synopsis, so I only found out after starting to read it that the author was going to focus a lot more on his bipolar disorder than on his career as a pianist. It's fine that she chose that. I just wished there had been more to the plot than Flynn's mood swings.
October 7, 2024
4.5
Nagyon szép és megható az egész történet, valóságszerűen mutatja be a bipoláris személyiségzavart, szerintem viszonylag lassú a cselekménye, de ez a tempó ide passzol is. Jók a karakterek, nem akartam felpofozni egyik karaktert sem miközben olvastam, sokszor teljesen át tudtam érezni Flynn helyzetét.
Azért vontam le az értékeléséből 0.5 csillagot, mert nekem néhány helyen elég unalmas volt, az első fele nem volt annyira érdekes, de kb. a közepétől nagyon beindult a cselekménye és onnan már semmi problémám nem volt vele.
Nagyon szép és megható az egész történet, valóságszerűen mutatja be a bipoláris személyiségzavart, szerintem viszonylag lassú a cselekménye, de ez a tempó ide passzol is. Jók a karakterek, nem akartam felpofozni egyik karaktert sem miközben olvastam, sokszor teljesen át tudtam érezni Flynn helyzetét.
Azért vontam le az értékeléséből 0.5 csillagot, mert nekem néhány helyen elég unalmas volt, az első fele nem volt annyira érdekes, de kb. a közepétől nagyon beindult a cselekménye és onnan már semmi problémám nem volt vele.
October 27, 2012
The question now is whether or not I go on to read A Voice in the Distance. I like where this one ended. Why ruin my illusion that Flynn managed to beat his beast of a disease with Jennah by his side? Why subject myself to another Forbidden-esque breakdown? Whyyyyy?
Because I'm an incorrigible masochist, that's why. And as long as Flynn and Jennah don't end up like Lochan and Maya, I'm inclined to give the sequel a go...eventually.
Because I'm an incorrigible masochist, that's why. And as long as Flynn and Jennah don't end up like Lochan and Maya, I'm inclined to give the sequel a go...eventually.
September 10, 2013
If I were simply rating this book on how well it was written, I'd give it five stars. Tabitha Suzuma REALLY knows how to write, and it seems like she excels at writing people who feel are truly miserable, and she makes it real, without crossing over the line into melodrama.
So why the three stars? I guess I wanted more of a story, more than just a study of a man's struggle with being bipolar...
So why the three stars? I guess I wanted more of a story, more than just a study of a man's struggle with being bipolar...
May 29, 2013
He just looked at her and smiled...
That is so creepy.
But it's funny too actually. I really like Flynn. Though I must say he's not exactly the book-boyfriend type, nonetheless I find him quite adorable especially when he's crying or becomes too shy and ocassionally when he's manic.
Ah so this is what it's like to be bipolar.
That is so creepy.
But it's funny too actually. I really like Flynn. Though I must say he's not exactly the book-boyfriend type, nonetheless I find him quite adorable especially when he's crying or becomes too shy and ocassionally when he's manic.
Ah so this is what it's like to be bipolar.
September 2, 2015
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When I read something like this... something real and unique and passionate. It makes me wonder why I waste so much time reading paranormal or romance crap.
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