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Slave
It's the worst feeling in the world, seeing him with someone else. There's nothing I wouldn't do, no limits I won't go to get him back. But he won't give me a chance. He won't so much as look at me because he thinks I don't belong to him anymore.
But that's the whole thing.
I don't belong anywhere.
Doesn't matter where I go or who I am with I am always alone. There is something wrong with me, there has to be because no one else seems quite as miserable at being without a master.
But don't we all owe our freedom to something?
People are slaves, aren't they? To their jobs, to their partners, to their children, even to their lifestyles?
We all have those little kinks that we don't tell anyone about, because we think we're going to be judged for them, and because we're slaves to society's rules.
In a world where slavery is the norm I'm a slave to my needs.
To him.
And I need to get him back.
WARNINGS: HARDCORE BDSM, DUB-CON, NON-CON
But that's the whole thing.
I don't belong anywhere.
Doesn't matter where I go or who I am with I am always alone. There is something wrong with me, there has to be because no one else seems quite as miserable at being without a master.
But don't we all owe our freedom to something?
People are slaves, aren't they? To their jobs, to their partners, to their children, even to their lifestyles?
We all have those little kinks that we don't tell anyone about, because we think we're going to be judged for them, and because we're slaves to society's rules.
In a world where slavery is the norm I'm a slave to my needs.
To him.
And I need to get him back.
WARNINGS: HARDCORE BDSM, DUB-CON, NON-CON
50 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 16, 2013
11 people are currently reading
324 people want to read
About the author
Kol Anderson
38 books377 followers“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.”
― Oscar Wilde
If you're into the fluffier side of life, you have my blessing but will you please take the next exit. For the rest of you depraved pervs, enjoy your stay ;)
https://www.facebook.com/Kolandersonb...
― Oscar Wilde
If you're into the fluffier side of life, you have my blessing but will you please take the next exit. For the rest of you depraved pervs, enjoy your stay ;)
https://www.facebook.com/Kolandersonb...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
August 22, 2013
I have said it before… and I will say it again! I am incredibly excited about this young author.
Kol Anderson, writes the kind of books I like and manages to hit those emotions head on that some books just gently stroke and I love that! Slave is not a read that had the adrenaline pumping at an alarming rate like the Broken Series, but rather this novella plays with your heartstrings, tugging on them to almost breaking point. It’s not perfect and I felt the writing a little disjointed and lost it’s flow at times and whilst I loved Jesse, I didn’t wholeheartedly connect with Matt, even in the end not completely believing his sincerity… I was almost there but not quite!
Jesse is a natural submissive, his whole being calls out to a master to take control of his life, unable to perform that task on his own, he needs guidance. When he breaks up with Matt his master he falls into such a deep depression he is unable to claw his way out… he wants to block out the anguish and torment that is a constant in his heart, and his only outlet to oblivion… is pain, and that pain comes at the hands of Noah!!! Noah is a sadist and his particular brand of pain is brutally delivered without the escape of a safe word… to be endured, but not to satisfaction for Jesse, he just wants to forget if only for a little while!
In Slave I somehow felt disconnected to the physical pain that Jesse suffers at the hands of Noah, and I think that’s because the real pain in this book is in Jesse’s heart. We get some insight to this in his journal entries which are interspersed throughout the book, and his feelings of devastation had big fat tears rolling down my face… I have to say Kol’s writing of those entries is beautiful. What we see is a boy/slave who after losing his master, no longer wants to feel the emotional pain of his broken heart… Lost and alone, he wants to forget, and physical pain is his only escape from the emotions that overwhelm him, because without Matt, the man he loves and his master he is wading through mud, lost, with all grasp and control of his life gone.
But it’s not only the feeling of abandonment, Jess had been with Matt for three years, however they both have differing ideas of what a relationship entails… Jesse wants love, unconditional and forever and that is what he had freely given to Matt… his heart and soul! Matt on the other hand doesn’t do exclusive, although for two years of their relationship he had tried… so when Matt starts playing around with one night stands… he may as well have ripped Jesse’s heart out of his chest and stamped on it! …and in Jesse’s eyes that is exactly what he did… he had been rejected and unable to satisfy his master.
I am sitting on the fence with Matt, as I am not really sure if I liked him or not, in fact he totally pissed me off at times due to his inconsiderate and quite frankly blaze attitude, as a dom and knowing Jesse’s nature he should have ensured that Jesse was taken care of and not left to his own devices! Although he did redeem himself in the end, I was still cross, but looking at it objectively… people break up all the time, Matt had cheated, but he had also always been upfront about his own nature and tendencies to wander and I think he had just underestimated Jesse’s neediness!
Kol Anderson characterisation of Jesse was excellent, I totally connected with his desolation and my chest was hurting watching him deal with his heartache, trying to remain positive for his Mother whilst coping with her illness and with no friends… his only outlet for his emotions had been his journal, and I have to say his little bit of manipulation seemed totally out of character and a real shocker… but hey, GO JESSE!
Kol Anderson, writes the kind of books I like and manages to hit those emotions head on that some books just gently stroke and I love that! Slave is not a read that had the adrenaline pumping at an alarming rate like the Broken Series, but rather this novella plays with your heartstrings, tugging on them to almost breaking point. It’s not perfect and I felt the writing a little disjointed and lost it’s flow at times and whilst I loved Jesse, I didn’t wholeheartedly connect with Matt, even in the end not completely believing his sincerity… I was almost there but not quite!
Jesse is a natural submissive, his whole being calls out to a master to take control of his life, unable to perform that task on his own, he needs guidance. When he breaks up with Matt his master he falls into such a deep depression he is unable to claw his way out… he wants to block out the anguish and torment that is a constant in his heart, and his only outlet to oblivion… is pain, and that pain comes at the hands of Noah!!! Noah is a sadist and his particular brand of pain is brutally delivered without the escape of a safe word… to be endured, but not to satisfaction for Jesse, he just wants to forget if only for a little while!
In Slave I somehow felt disconnected to the physical pain that Jesse suffers at the hands of Noah, and I think that’s because the real pain in this book is in Jesse’s heart. We get some insight to this in his journal entries which are interspersed throughout the book, and his feelings of devastation had big fat tears rolling down my face… I have to say Kol’s writing of those entries is beautiful. What we see is a boy/slave who after losing his master, no longer wants to feel the emotional pain of his broken heart… Lost and alone, he wants to forget, and physical pain is his only escape from the emotions that overwhelm him, because without Matt, the man he loves and his master he is wading through mud, lost, with all grasp and control of his life gone.
But it’s not only the feeling of abandonment, Jess had been with Matt for three years, however they both have differing ideas of what a relationship entails… Jesse wants love, unconditional and forever and that is what he had freely given to Matt… his heart and soul! Matt on the other hand doesn’t do exclusive, although for two years of their relationship he had tried… so when Matt starts playing around with one night stands… he may as well have ripped Jesse’s heart out of his chest and stamped on it! …and in Jesse’s eyes that is exactly what he did… he had been rejected and unable to satisfy his master.
I am sitting on the fence with Matt, as I am not really sure if I liked him or not, in fact he totally pissed me off at times due to his inconsiderate and quite frankly blaze attitude, as a dom and knowing Jesse’s nature he should have ensured that Jesse was taken care of and not left to his own devices! Although he did redeem himself in the end, I was still cross, but looking at it objectively… people break up all the time, Matt had cheated, but he had also always been upfront about his own nature and tendencies to wander and I think he had just underestimated Jesse’s neediness!
Kol Anderson characterisation of Jesse was excellent, I totally connected with his desolation and my chest was hurting watching him deal with his heartache, trying to remain positive for his Mother whilst coping with her illness and with no friends… his only outlet for his emotions had been his journal, and I have to say his little bit of manipulation seemed totally out of character and a real shocker… but hey, GO JESSE!
August 22, 2013
within you/without you.
I am of two minds about this one.
I was completely disinterested in the BDSM, but since I am not in the lifestyle very much at all, this was no surprise.
but imagine my delight when I found buried between the lines of a sexy, straightforward dom/sub vignette a fascinatingly complex and compelling question:
for a man who needs to feel pain, what's the difference between the one who hurts you on the outside—and the one who hurts you on the inside?
george harrison's famous contribution to sgt. pepper won't tell you—but this steamy and nuanced short might.
I am of two minds about this one.
I was completely disinterested in the BDSM, but since I am not in the lifestyle very much at all, this was no surprise.
but imagine my delight when I found buried between the lines of a sexy, straightforward dom/sub vignette a fascinatingly complex and compelling question:
for a man who needs to feel pain, what's the difference between the one who hurts you on the outside—and the one who hurts you on the inside?
george harrison's famous contribution to sgt. pepper won't tell you—but this steamy and nuanced short might.
August 18, 2013
Ah...so nice...and not as hardcore as the warnings might suggest.
Well okay, let me rephrase that. The scenes are hardcore, but, at it's heart, this is a very sweet and sad story about Jesse, who is heartbroken after breaking up with Matt, his Dom.
And it's one of those messy situations, like in real life, where nobody is really in the wrong. Okay, so Noah, the guy who Jesse hooks up with after Matt, is an asshole. But he's upfront about it. He plays hard, he hurts subs, and they know that when they go into a scene with him. He's the bad guy of the piece...except, is he? Like I said, Noah's upfront.
And Matt...well, Matt was upfront too. Matt doesn't do monogamy. And can you really hate him for turning up with a twink on his arm when Jesse's already seeing Noah?
And Jesse...there are no simple fixes in Jesse's life. And, if he gets hurt with Noah, it's because he's a little naive, a lot confused, and lost as all hell. Jesse has a lot to learn about himself in this story, and, by the end, I think he's getting there.
There are no heroes in this story. There are no villains either. It's messy, like relationships are in real life.
Well okay, let me rephrase that. The scenes are hardcore, but, at it's heart, this is a very sweet and sad story about Jesse, who is heartbroken after breaking up with Matt, his Dom.
And it's one of those messy situations, like in real life, where nobody is really in the wrong. Okay, so Noah, the guy who Jesse hooks up with after Matt, is an asshole. But he's upfront about it. He plays hard, he hurts subs, and they know that when they go into a scene with him. He's the bad guy of the piece...except, is he? Like I said, Noah's upfront.
And Matt...well, Matt was upfront too. Matt doesn't do monogamy. And can you really hate him for turning up with a twink on his arm when Jesse's already seeing Noah?
And Jesse...there are no simple fixes in Jesse's life. And, if he gets hurt with Noah, it's because he's a little naive, a lot confused, and lost as all hell. Jesse has a lot to learn about himself in this story, and, by the end, I think he's getting there.
There are no heroes in this story. There are no villains either. It's messy, like relationships are in real life.
August 18, 2013
Holy. Fucking. SHIT.
There are so many issues that I should have with this story, so many, but I cannot think of one thing I want to complain about right now because this short kept me GLUED to my Kindle. I did not even take a break to do one status update. That's how into this I was.
Jesse is a sub whose master, Matt, has cheated and left him. To say Jesse is lost would be an understatement. Emotionally, Jesse is a hot mess and things only go downhill when he takes up with Noah who is the WORST masochist in the club. I'm not sure how to explain how twisted Noah is but here's the thing...Kol Anderson did something in this book that really fucked with what I wanted to think of Noah. I won't give details but at one point Noah makes a mini-speech to Jesse that made me see Noah as much more than just an abusive asshole who was beyond help. Was he an abusive asshole? Yes, but that little speech made me want a story where Noah learns to be someone better because I saw something sad and broken in him.
Now, as for Jesse, he takes a very interesting journey in this little story. He's so messed up that he's allowing himself to go beyond what is healthy within the BDSM world. He's letting someone legitimately abuse him. The reason I was glued to my Kindle was that I wanted to know if Jesse was going to make it through or if he was going to end up dead because shit was seriously spiraling. Out. Of. Control. There was a large part of this story where I was not sure how things were going to turn out.
And then there was Matt who Jesse was pining for and who kept popping up, making it impossible for Jesse to completely forget him. Matt was a mystery until he wasn't. I'm actually not going to talk too much about Matt because I think it would ruin an aspect of the story I really appreciated.
In Slave Kol Anderson gave me three characters who were very far from perfect. The dynamics of the relationships were in many way screwed up, in some ways unhealthy, but in some ways understandable. They were also utterly complicated and so very messy, but that's most of life isn't it? It was refreshing to see that in a story that didn't flinch away from all of that while not, at least to me, feeling forced.
Was the writing here perfect? No. No, it wasn't but the story grabbed me so hard and I wanted to know where it was going so badly that I just didn't care.
I know I probably won't get it but I hope this gets turned into a series and Noah's story gets told. I feel like through all of the insane, screwed up shit in that character's head there is some way for him to redeemed. That would be a compelling story to read.
This book is not for everyone but I'm damn glad I read it.
There are so many issues that I should have with this story, so many, but I cannot think of one thing I want to complain about right now because this short kept me GLUED to my Kindle. I did not even take a break to do one status update. That's how into this I was.
Jesse is a sub whose master, Matt, has cheated and left him. To say Jesse is lost would be an understatement. Emotionally, Jesse is a hot mess and things only go downhill when he takes up with Noah who is the WORST masochist in the club. I'm not sure how to explain how twisted Noah is but here's the thing...Kol Anderson did something in this book that really fucked with what I wanted to think of Noah. I won't give details but at one point Noah makes a mini-speech to Jesse that made me see Noah as much more than just an abusive asshole who was beyond help. Was he an abusive asshole? Yes, but that little speech made me want a story where Noah learns to be someone better because I saw something sad and broken in him.
Now, as for Jesse, he takes a very interesting journey in this little story. He's so messed up that he's allowing himself to go beyond what is healthy within the BDSM world. He's letting someone legitimately abuse him. The reason I was glued to my Kindle was that I wanted to know if Jesse was going to make it through or if he was going to end up dead because shit was seriously spiraling. Out. Of. Control. There was a large part of this story where I was not sure how things were going to turn out.
And then there was Matt who Jesse was pining for and who kept popping up, making it impossible for Jesse to completely forget him. Matt was a mystery until he wasn't. I'm actually not going to talk too much about Matt because I think it would ruin an aspect of the story I really appreciated.
In Slave Kol Anderson gave me three characters who were very far from perfect. The dynamics of the relationships were in many way screwed up, in some ways unhealthy, but in some ways understandable. They were also utterly complicated and so very messy, but that's most of life isn't it? It was refreshing to see that in a story that didn't flinch away from all of that while not, at least to me, feeling forced.
Was the writing here perfect? No. No, it wasn't but the story grabbed me so hard and I wanted to know where it was going so badly that I just didn't care.
I know I probably won't get it but I hope this gets turned into a series and Noah's story gets told. I feel like through all of the insane, screwed up shit in that character's head there is some way for him to redeemed. That would be a compelling story to read.
This book is not for everyone but I'm damn glad I read it.
August 20, 2013
OK, so here we have three people I was all ready to hate but I just can't because Kol pulled his evil genius magic trick and made me like them. ALL OF THEM. Even Noah! Why the fuck do I like Noah? Maybe it's because... well... hell, I don't know why I ended up liking him but I did. OK, I was more intrigued by him than liked him. I would love to read a story about him, get inside his head. Hear that Kol? Get to work! I need to know more about Noah!
Moving right along, we have Matt. Matt, the asshat that left poor Jesse out in the cold with no shelter to weather the storm. Bad Dom! But, he kinda redeemed himself with his self-reflection and actually owning up to his mistakes.
Now, about Jesse. Jesse, Jesse, Jesse. I actually wanted to hate him the most for what he put himself through. The self pity was just flat out annoying to me. I wanted to tell him to grow some fucking balls and get his shit together. But in the end, when he showed more strength and self worth (and a lot of sneaky manipulation) I came to like him best of all.
The story overall? I liked it. There were parts that felt a bit rushed but you get that with a lot of short stories. There were some run-on sentences that I was itching to go in and "fix" but I'm anal like that. Kol, you do love your commas, dontcha? :p This story didn't have the shock value of The Prisoner but I don't think it was meant to be that way. I think that if it was a bit longer with the chance to flesh out the story line a bit more I would have really loved it. My favorite parts of the story were the journal entries. So much emotion in them!
So, all in all, I liked this short story and I am eager to read more from the evil genius.
Oh, and this is for Ann: "Dammit Kol!" :D
ETA: I forgot to mention the cover! It was just beautiful! If I ever write a book (please don't let me) I want Kol to design the cover. Simply gorgeous.
Moving right along, we have Matt. Matt, the asshat that left poor Jesse out in the cold with no shelter to weather the storm. Bad Dom! But, he kinda redeemed himself with his self-reflection and actually owning up to his mistakes.
Now, about Jesse. Jesse, Jesse, Jesse. I actually wanted to hate him the most for what he put himself through. The self pity was just flat out annoying to me. I wanted to tell him to grow some fucking balls and get his shit together. But in the end, when he showed more strength and self worth (and a lot of sneaky manipulation) I came to like him best of all.
The story overall? I liked it. There were parts that felt a bit rushed but you get that with a lot of short stories. There were some run-on sentences that I was itching to go in and "fix" but I'm anal like that. Kol, you do love your commas, dontcha? :p This story didn't have the shock value of The Prisoner but I don't think it was meant to be that way. I think that if it was a bit longer with the chance to flesh out the story line a bit more I would have really loved it. My favorite parts of the story were the journal entries. So much emotion in them!
So, all in all, I liked this short story and I am eager to read more from the evil genius.
Oh, and this is for Ann: "Dammit Kol!" :D
ETA: I forgot to mention the cover! It was just beautiful! If I ever write a book (please don't let me) I want Kol to design the cover. Simply gorgeous.
August 20, 2013
First off -- what a great cover!
Poor Jesse, left adrift when his Master betrayed him. He is barely functioning. He goes to the club and finds Noah. He knows what Noah is about thanks to the grumbling of other subs, and Noah does nothing to hide what he wants, but perhaps the pain Jesse receives from Noah can do something to fill the void Matt has left. Matt keeps popping up in Jesse's life, though why does Matt even care at this point?
For those concerned, this is not anywhere near as hardcore as The Prisoner. This story is short, but the relationships are complex. Everyone in this story is messed up, but everyone in this story can be redeemed. Maybe some just need a push in the right direction.
Poor Jesse, left adrift when his Master betrayed him. He is barely functioning. He goes to the club and finds Noah. He knows what Noah is about thanks to the grumbling of other subs, and Noah does nothing to hide what he wants, but perhaps the pain Jesse receives from Noah can do something to fill the void Matt has left. Matt keeps popping up in Jesse's life, though why does Matt even care at this point?
For those concerned, this is not anywhere near as hardcore as The Prisoner. This story is short, but the relationships are complex. Everyone in this story is messed up, but everyone in this story can be redeemed. Maybe some just need a push in the right direction.
January 8, 2015
4 Stars for the realism and for the heart racing intense BDSM scene
Human beings are fragile creatures especially mentally. We do tend to get hurt quite easily and some might even get themselves stuck in a never-ending loop of despair and anguish. Some would attempt to drown their pain with alcohol or even drugs, yet there are those who would seek external pain to counter internal pain. Just like how a cutter would try to take control of his emotion via physical pain. It's an unconscious call for help really. What Jesse, the protagonist did in this story was his way of seeking solace. He is not a stranger to pain and would welcome it as another form of comfort. He is a natural masochist and a true sub. He constantly need to let himself go and for others to take total control of him.
Jesse was devastated and depressed when Matt, his Master cum lover of 3-years dumped him for no apparent reason. To make things worst, his mother's cancer was back and she's fighting for her life and suffering for it. It's not surprising that Jesse being so lost in his mental anguish that he would seek to comfort himself in the only way he knows best; through physical pain and submission. Only what's wrong was the partner of his choice; Noah a reckless dom who doesn't give a damn on the welfare of his sub. He's a greedy, selfish bastard that only knows how to take but not give, that's why he isn't a proper dom nor should he be one at all. He is just plainly a sadist pretending to be a dom. And he is clearly taking advantage of Jesse's current mental state to manipulate him to his own benefit.
As for Matt, he is a commitment phobic dom who just loves to play without strings attached and he thinks Jesse is just too good for him. What he doesn't know is why does he thinks so? Why does he worry so much about the unfairness in their relationship? Deep down inside this confident and commanding man, is just a normal guy and he is clueless as to why Jesse makes him feel so differently.
Actually, I don't blame Matt for letting Jesse go. He has his reasons and I think it's fair and better than just leaving loose ends, encouraging wounds to fester. I'd say he did the right thing then and also later, when he face his own feelings and own up to his mistakes. That's the kind of man I respect.
I like this quote very much <3
I don't belong anywhere.
Doesn't matter where I go or who I am with I am always alone. There is something wrong with me, there has to be because no one else seems quite as miserable at being without a master.
But don't we all owe our freedom to something?
People are slaves, aren't they? To their jobs, to their partners, to their children, even to their lifestyles?
We all have those little kinks that we don't tell anyone about, because we think we're going to be judged for them, and because we're slaves to society's rules.
In a world where slavery is the norm I'm a slave to my needs.
By the way, I like the ending and that epilogue. I really enjoyed reading that epilogue. Thanks Kol ;)
Kol writes his stories with much realism and feelings and this one is one of it. His writings dares you to examine your own principles in life. He isn't shy on the subjects he wish to bring forth for his readers to ponder on.
On the shade of grey... I liked the intense sessions Noah gave Jesse. It made my heart goes all thumpy. *evil laughter* Well, you can't deny the eroticism there right? Even Jesse couldn't. Especially their first session.
And Kol, nice cover. It's Jesse there, truly.
___________________________________________
Title: Slave
Author: Kol Anderson
Publication Date: August 16th, 2013
Type: Short Story
Genre: Hardcore BDSM, Romance, M/M, Gay, Contemporary, Abuse, Dub-con, Non-con
Description:
It's the worst feeling in the world, seeing him with someone else. There's nothing I wouldn't do, no limits I won't go to get him back. But he won't give me a chance. He won't so much as look at me because he thinks I don't belong to him anymore.
But that's the whole thing.
I don't belong anywhere.
Doesn't matter where I go or who I am with I am always alone. There is something wrong with me, there has to be because no one else seems quite as miserable at being without a master.
But don't we all owe our freedom to something?
People are slaves, aren't they? To their jobs, to their partners, to their children, even to their lifestyles?
We all have those little kinks that we don't tell anyone about, because we think we're going to be judged for them, and because we're slaves to society's rules.
In a world where slavery is the norm I'm a slave to my needs.
To him.
And I need to get him back.
WARNINGS: HARDCORE BDSM, DUB-CON, NON-CON
___________________________________________
NOTE: This review is based on an ARC extended to me by the author.
started-yet-stalled-for-now
September 27, 2013A cover -- a m/m cover! -- that manages to make me so eager to read the book. That doesn't happen every day.
August 20, 2013
Nope, couldn't get behind this one at all. I read the reviews of my GR friends and many sung praises of the 3 MCs in this story, despite their shady behaviors. I cannot join them. I felt great pity for Jesse, anger towards Matt and my feelings were mixed about Noah. None of them inspired any positive feelings in me at all.
Oh well, I tried and will continue to step out of my comfort zone in the future for the right material! I can definitely see why many enjoyed this one.
Oh well, I tried and will continue to step out of my comfort zone in the future for the right material! I can definitely see why many enjoyed this one.
August 18, 2013
Ok loved this story after waiting anxiously for its release. Kol sweetie I <3 you for the ARC! (HUGS)
Where to begin Jesse you poor thing he was lost lonely and desperate to feel something, aside from these things. Matt cheated on him and left him after 3 years together. Jesse believed Matt was the only one for him. So he turns to the Dom asshole Noah who is nothing but trouble. He knows its bad yet he sees Matt at different points and his misery is retriggered. So he does it he just lets Noah abuse him. Ahh I wanted to jab my nails into this pricks eyes or his prick whichever. But Noah Dom or not I felt really went beyond what he should've and no safe words especially with a sub thats never been yours he's a damn abuser. COME ON! I loved how it ended, seriously did Jesse Top from the Bottom in a sense or was it just me?
Where to begin Jesse you poor thing he was lost lonely and desperate to feel something, aside from these things. Matt cheated on him and left him after 3 years together. Jesse believed Matt was the only one for him. So he turns to the Dom asshole Noah who is nothing but trouble. He knows its bad yet he sees Matt at different points and his misery is retriggered. So he does it he just lets Noah abuse him. Ahh I wanted to jab my nails into this pricks eyes or his prick whichever. But Noah Dom or not I felt really went beyond what he should've and no safe words especially with a sub thats never been yours he's a damn abuser. COME ON! I loved how it ended, seriously did Jesse Top from the Bottom in a sense or was it just me?
November 29, 2013
Between 2,5 and 3 stars
It was Okay-read. But I think I've just found out that I don't really enjoy BDSM. Not that typical one.
But if you do, go ahead!
It was Okay-read. But I think I've just found out that I don't really enjoy BDSM. Not that typical one.
But if you do, go ahead!
February 15, 2014
"They might be the crazy ones to stay in line just because someone once told them to stay in line, but that doesn't change the fact that you're still the anomaly [for them]. And that's how they'll look at you, the one who doesn't get it, the one who breaks the rules and for that they'll punish you. They'll threaten to shove you into lockers and to kill you in your sleep and to put you behind bars, or in a padded cell. They want you dead or at least gone someplace they can forget about you."
"We all have those little kinks that we don't tell anyone about, because we think we're going to be judged for them, and because we're slaves to society's rules."
Small slice of life between a dom (Matt) and his sub (Jesse) after a breakup. Matt left after an argument with Jesse. He meets another sub and cheats on Jesse into the arms of this other young man.
These are things that happen every day. Especially after an argument. And whoever remains behind feels abandoned. I can totally understand the reaction of Jesse, whom will see Noah to forget the inner suffering by inflicting an external pain. Basically, Noah is only Jesse's instrument in his attempt to alleviate one pain by another and try to forget Matt at least a few hours once in a while.
Contrary to what one of the reviewers wrote, Jesse was not seeing Noah to manipulate Matt. He did that by despair, to relieve himself. But you must be a masochist to really understand how you can drown in physical pain and it can make you forget everything else.
It's also a way to give oneself the impression to really exist again, to always have a D/s relationship with someone, whoever it is. For many subs, life without their doms can quickly become hell.
Kol Anderson succeeded to make all his characters and their circumstances believable. The MCs are neither wholly good nor wholly bad, but a bit of both.
Despite the realism of the subject, I felt Jesse's lament as a little fake after a few pages. I already felt despair when I lost my dominant and I know it can be extremely difficult to get through because a good dom, especially in a 24/7 relationship, invades your body, your mind, your heart, all your life. There is nothing in you or outside of you that does not bear his imprint. So a breakup cannot be cleanly cut, because there are still traces of his passage in your life. These traces constantly remind you of him. It is not uncommon to see a sub being unable to come after the departure of his dom because he NEEDS his dom to allow him to ejaculate. This is not self-pity, it's a real depression.
I understand Jesse's reaction, but it lacked something for me to totally believe what he was feeling. Not the verbal expression of his despair, but the description of all the "traces" left by Matt in his life, and the every instant effect that this absence occasioned in a sub's life.
e.g. My dom has the habit to touch my hands with the tip of his middle finger while speaking to get my complete attention. Just the absence of this little gesture was a torture to me when I couldn't feel it anymore. I missed all the other little contacts too. His hand in the middle of my back to guide me somewhere. His hand on my shoulder against my neck to encourage me to do something hard...
There is nothing of that sort in this book. Jesse just says that he doesn't know why Matt and no other and why he missed him so much. He didn't know. Really? I knew pretty well because every little missing thing that was His or Him was hurtful.
I found the idea of leaving his diary at Matt's apartment twisted. This is a lack of self-respect. This is something I would never do. It gives of Jesse the image of someone manipulative. It's not a pretty picture to me. Someone really depressed would not have acted that way and someone more strong and resilient had tried to find a better dominant than Noah. Jesse was somewhere in the middle, a place I don't know or understand.
By the way, personally, I like Noah very much. He is the only one to be really straightforward in this story, not trying to deceive anyone. The only thing I didn't like about him was that he let Jesse leave without aftercare. Jesse didn't want to stay for the night, but he had probably accepted that Noah mended his wounds.
That is why I give 4 stars for this good short story, but lacking a little depth.
Other reviews here: http://heartsonfirereviews.com/?tag=D...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 28, 2013
A little uneven in the characterization. Difficult read due to subject matter, and odd turn at the end.
First off, I'm not in the BDSM lifestyle, because there's not a submissive bone in my body, nor do I feel the need to go all Domme on my husband. However, I do appreciate a good BDSM romance/erotica. Unfortunately, this wasn't. The part where BDSM is supposed to be sane, safe on consensual was completely missing from the relationship between Noah, the Dom, and Jesse, the slave who enjoys pain. Jesse tried to stop the play when it got too much, and the Dom didn't listen. Bad Dom, bad. No crop for you!
We first meet Jesse after his previous Dom Mark has broken off the relationship. Jesse is taking care of his cancer-stricken mother and tries to put on a good face for her, but privately feels entirely alone, left out in the cold and utterly lost. I can't quite figure out whether Jesse needs to have therapy to get his head examined or if he chooses to go with Noah out of misery or simple revenge.
Either way, the kid needs rescuing. My protective instincts were in full force and I wanted toslap apply the crop to Noah's hide a few times. I also have to question the owner of the club that would allow a Dom with known issues to still be a member. My fists curled in helpless rage when Noah beats Jesse and draws blood, and then tortured him even when Jesse asked to stop. GRRRRRRRR!!!!
Mostly, I felt sorry for Jesse. He got a raw deal when Mark left him, and when Mark failed to tell him up front that monogamy wasn't this thing.
The POV then switches to Mark and that's where the novel took this unexpected turn. Mark sees what's happening, sees that Jesse is hurting and actually does the mature thing. He steps in. Good for you, Mark.
As a short story, it's a quick read, and touches on some very important aspects. The erotica is nicely written, but what impressed me most was the author's ability to delve deeply into Jesse's psyche and deliver a protagonist that was clearly out of his mind, yet in such a subtle way that I as a reader couldn't help but feel for his plight.
The novella is self-published and should be run through some serious proof-reading/editing as grammatical and punctuation errors are relatively frequent for such a short novel.
Kol - this was a creepy, dark and yet fascinating tale. I'd like to see Noah get his just desserts. How about it? ;)
First off, I'm not in the BDSM lifestyle, because there's not a submissive bone in my body, nor do I feel the need to go all Domme on my husband. However, I do appreciate a good BDSM romance/erotica. Unfortunately, this wasn't. The part where BDSM is supposed to be sane, safe on consensual was completely missing from the relationship between Noah, the Dom, and Jesse, the slave who enjoys pain. Jesse tried to stop the play when it got too much, and the Dom didn't listen. Bad Dom, bad. No crop for you!
We first meet Jesse after his previous Dom Mark has broken off the relationship. Jesse is taking care of his cancer-stricken mother and tries to put on a good face for her, but privately feels entirely alone, left out in the cold and utterly lost. I can't quite figure out whether Jesse needs to have therapy to get his head examined or if he chooses to go with Noah out of misery or simple revenge.
Either way, the kid needs rescuing. My protective instincts were in full force and I wanted to
Mostly, I felt sorry for Jesse. He got a raw deal when Mark left him, and when Mark failed to tell him up front that monogamy wasn't this thing.
The POV then switches to Mark and that's where the novel took this unexpected turn. Mark sees what's happening, sees that Jesse is hurting and actually does the mature thing. He steps in. Good for you, Mark.
As a short story, it's a quick read, and touches on some very important aspects. The erotica is nicely written, but what impressed me most was the author's ability to delve deeply into Jesse's psyche and deliver a protagonist that was clearly out of his mind, yet in such a subtle way that I as a reader couldn't help but feel for his plight.
The novella is self-published and should be run through some serious proof-reading/editing as grammatical and punctuation errors are relatively frequent for such a short novel.
Kol - this was a creepy, dark and yet fascinating tale. I'd like to see Noah get his just desserts. How about it? ;)
July 4, 2014
Slave was such a poignant story. I was rooting for Jesse from the first page, and was really really hoping for a HEA.
By far I think the character that experienced the most growth is Matt.
"Me and Matt, we're a work in progress."
I love all of Kol Anderson's characters. They leave a part of themselves with you after each story, and leave you changed. I so enjoy Kol's descriptions, his prose paints such vivid pictures. And I've mentioned this in just about every review I've done of his work, but Kol is a goddamn dialogue ninja. His dialogue drives the story forward, reveals character and breaks your heart. Every. Time.
The pain that Jessee subjected himself to is cringe worthy but not gratuitous. You understand where he's coming from, even though you want to hug him and smack his head in equal measure. And the ending? Thank god, that's all I'm saying.
By far I think the character that experienced the most growth is Matt.
"Me and Matt, we're a work in progress."
I love all of Kol Anderson's characters. They leave a part of themselves with you after each story, and leave you changed. I so enjoy Kol's descriptions, his prose paints such vivid pictures. And I've mentioned this in just about every review I've done of his work, but Kol is a goddamn dialogue ninja. His dialogue drives the story forward, reveals character and breaks your heart. Every. Time.
The pain that Jessee subjected himself to is cringe worthy but not gratuitous. You understand where he's coming from, even though you want to hug him and smack his head in equal measure. And the ending? Thank god, that's all I'm saying.
September 13, 2013
Concise writing, emotions distilled to their most potent essence, made better by the unexpected plot twist. Wily manipulation from Jesse, which I didn't see coming. I should have, seeing his attitude towards his Mom's illness. Well done, Mr. Anderson, well done.
The conflict resolution felt a bit forced, suffering a lack of continuity in the transition of Matt's feelings. I did love the Epilogue, though. Sweet couple, Matt and Jesse. I liked them very much.
The conflict resolution felt a bit forced, suffering a lack of continuity in the transition of Matt's feelings. I did love the Epilogue, though. Sweet couple, Matt and Jesse. I liked them very much.
August 21, 2013
Poor Jesse. What he's going through is horrible. It must be more than painful to be a rejected sub. You can feel his pain with every single word of the story.
Matt is not easy to like. Nothing is worse than a master who treats his slave like he does. But... he's only human and like everyone he makes mistakes and finally takes responsibilities for them.
Loved it. Recommended. :)
August 19, 2013
It took me a couple of days to write this review, I had to let my thoughts stew for a bit. This author is fantastic, his ability to create a world that both mesmerizes and horrifies - completely captivated my senses. His stories tend to shock the hell of my conventional romantic leanings, Kol takes me to dark places and forces me enjoy the ride.
Jesse is devastated by his Master betraying his trust, he’s struggling to cope each day and drowning in despair. My heart ached to pull him close, cuddle and pet – anything to soothe his pain. Unfortunately, in his search for relief, Jesse places himself in the hands of Noah. Most of me is horrified by Noah, he’s the Sadist with a cruel reputation, and boy howdy does he cross the line with Jesse. Watching Jesse sink further, I’m terrified at the wounds he allows Noah to inflict. But just as you’re ready to consign Noah to the deepest bowels of hell… you get a peek that makes you question your judgment.
Then there’s Matt. I want to hate him, for being so careless with his lover, his slave. He’s broken the trust that is sacrosanct in any BDSM relationship. I don’t want to give away the story, but I can assure you there’s a HEA.
It’s funny, as I read this story, most of what bothers me are the exact same things which make it stand out among the crowd of perfectly perfect Doms and subs, Masters and slaves. Cheating, manipulation – fallible, imperfect characters – these are characteristics more likely to be found in the real world. Kol Anderson delivers a fascinating tale, with characters who are warped, flawed, make bad judgments, and even though they may be entirely outside of your real life experience – you know deep in your soul these guys are walking the street, living and breathing. Highly recommended.
Jesse is devastated by his Master betraying his trust, he’s struggling to cope each day and drowning in despair. My heart ached to pull him close, cuddle and pet – anything to soothe his pain. Unfortunately, in his search for relief, Jesse places himself in the hands of Noah. Most of me is horrified by Noah, he’s the Sadist with a cruel reputation, and boy howdy does he cross the line with Jesse. Watching Jesse sink further, I’m terrified at the wounds he allows Noah to inflict. But just as you’re ready to consign Noah to the deepest bowels of hell… you get a peek that makes you question your judgment.
Then there’s Matt. I want to hate him, for being so careless with his lover, his slave. He’s broken the trust that is sacrosanct in any BDSM relationship. I don’t want to give away the story, but I can assure you there’s a HEA.
It’s funny, as I read this story, most of what bothers me are the exact same things which make it stand out among the crowd of perfectly perfect Doms and subs, Masters and slaves. Cheating, manipulation – fallible, imperfect characters – these are characteristics more likely to be found in the real world. Kol Anderson delivers a fascinating tale, with characters who are warped, flawed, make bad judgments, and even though they may be entirely outside of your real life experience – you know deep in your soul these guys are walking the street, living and breathing. Highly recommended.
August 20, 2013
Well Jesse, aren't you a manipulative little masochist!! I really did feel sorry for you, but everything that you did with Noah was just to get Matt's attention. I can't believe you let him torture you (cos that's what it was) just to prove a point to your ex!! Yes, Matt was a complete s**t and a useless kind of Dom not being able to keep his dick in his pants while you thought you were both exclusive but come on....to put yourself through all that pain just to focus Matt's attention on you front and centre again is to me all kinds of wrong. 4.5 stars and a great cover
August 20, 2013
Wow this is as short as it is intense. An amazing read. This deals with the mental gymnastics everyone goes through in relationships, albeit this is a little more out of the norm for most of us. It was insightful for me into the mind of someone who is a masochist. Made me wonder if at some point we all would like to give up control to someone else.
I give it a a pair of handcuffs full of stars.
I give it a a pair of handcuffs full of stars.
September 28, 2013
This one didn't work for me at all. The characters were all very one dimensional. The scenes with Jesse and Noah were bland and never met Jesse's needs. I did enjoy the comparison between Jesse's mother's pain and Jesse's pain. The HEA ending was a little too lovey dovey for me.
August 30, 2014
My first Kol Anderson left me with a mostly 'meh' feeling. The title, the blurb and this poem at the beginning:
SLAVE
I'm a slave.
A victim to my past
And captive to my needs
My fucked up notions of love and life
Pain and comfort
You want control
I need abandon
Force me to submit
Hurt me
Enough to remind me I'm still living
Really, truly, living and not just breathing
Take me
And leave me bare
Touch me where no one has before
I'm a slave and I need a master.
Had me thinking this was going to blow my doors clean off.
Nope. Not the case.
I thought it would be darker, maybe my catnip TPE or perhaps non or dub con and there some… reckless and unwise decisions made that could be construed as dub-con, I guess.
Jesse's been left by Matt, his dominant of three years. Thrown over for a twink and he's willing to use any and all means necessary to get him back. Why the hell he wants him back so desperately never gets addressed. It's just one of those things we're to believe.
He goes to their club to hook up with the "bad dom", Noah, who plays without safe words. More manipulation on Jesse's part at which point I started thinking 'you get what you deserve', but the scenes with Noah didn't even bring the goods! WTF? If you're going to torture and flog the hell out of someone then BRING. IT.
It wasn't brought'd. Neither the kink nor the sex were anything to write home about.
The writing is thoughtful. Being inside Jesse's head gives a bird's eye view into his loneliness and desperation. I still think he's a manipulative little shit but all's well that ends well and whatnot.
I'll not give up on this author but this was lackluster for me.
March 6, 2015
So, the thing is…well I don’t know how personal to get with this review. Prior to the Hubs all my relationships were open. I grew up in a household with parents who had open relationships and you do what you know. The things is, well for me, that worked and everyone was happy and honest until people really developed feelings. I’ve been Jesse I went into something with someone who was honest from the start and fell head over heels, obsessively, and frighteningly in love for the first time. Then guess what, being with someone who wanted an open relationship no longer worked. People may think Matt is an asshole but my guy had 20 years on me, two failed marriages and knew his limitations. It didn’t make him an asshole, it made him human. But at 18/19 that didn’t matter, it broke me, had me doing reckless things, taking risks I didn’t need to take, wallowing in my pain and addiction. Similar to Matt he kept trying to save me but it only made things worse. He couldn’t change who he was and I couldn’t change what I wanted. This book was great, I felt Jesse’s pain and loss. Reminded me of a time when my stupidity almost won out & I was positive you could die of a broken heart.
September 10, 2013
This is a short story with some life lessons the characters learn the hard way. This isn’t a story for the person who wants sunshine and happy times. This is a story of someone in pain, who has been pushed aside and let go by the one person who is everything in his world.
This is a HEA story, despite the dark beginning. Highly recommend it!!!
You can read the rest of Lynn's review at The Novel Approach
This is a HEA story, despite the dark beginning. Highly recommend it!!!
You can read the rest of Lynn's review at The Novel Approach
January 3, 2015
This short read was just..wow!
Yes, it was dark. Yes, it was sad. But, even then I couldn't set it down. I was completely captivated from beginning to end. So much so, that I didn't get an opportunity to update my progress.
In Slave, Kol Anderson created characters that bring out a variety of feelings in you. Whether it was: sadness, anger, or happiness. To be able to pull that off in the capacity that he did in just a short amount of time was amazing.
Kol Anderson, you've definitely found a fan girl in me :) Looking forward to reading more of your work.
Yes, it was dark. Yes, it was sad. But, even then I couldn't set it down. I was completely captivated from beginning to end. So much so, that I didn't get an opportunity to update my progress.
In Slave, Kol Anderson created characters that bring out a variety of feelings in you. Whether it was: sadness, anger, or happiness. To be able to pull that off in the capacity that he did in just a short amount of time was amazing.
Kol Anderson, you've definitely found a fan girl in me :) Looking forward to reading more of your work.
July 19, 2017
This was a short quick read that I thought was ok. Jesse is a submissive masochistic and the story is told through his journaling. His mother's illness sends him over the edge. he gets involved with an abusive Dom because he has watched his former Dom with his new slave. The sex scenes in this book were hot but I felt that is was things being left out and it was too short. The book also had a few errors in it. I have read this author before so I know that I will read this author again.
October 28, 2013
C'est le pire sentiment au monde, celui de le voir avec quelqu'un d'autre. Il n'y a rien que je ne ferais pas, pas de limites que je ne franchirais pour le récupérer. Mais il ne veut pas me laisser une chance. Il ne veut même plus me regarder parce qu'il pense que je ne lui appartiens plus.
Mais c'est là le cœur du problème.
Je n'appartiens plus à personne ni à quelque part.
Peu importe où je vais ou avec qui je suis, je suis toujours seul. Il ya quelque chose qui cloche avec moi, il doit y avoir quelque chose parce que personne d'autre ne semble pas aussi malheureux d'être sans maître.
Mais ne devons-nous pas tous notre liberté à quelque chose ?
Les gens sont des esclaves, n'est-ce pas ? À leur travail, avec leur partenaire, avec leurs enfants, et même avec leur mode de vie ?
Nous avons tous ces petits travers dont nous n'avons parlé à personne, parce que nous pensons que nous allons être jugés à cause d’eux, et parce que nous sommes des esclaves envers les règles de la société.
Dans un monde où l'esclavage est la norme, je suis l'esclave de mes besoins.
À lui.
Et j'ai besoin qu’il me revienne.
AVERTISSEMENT : BDSM HARDCORE.
Pour lecteurs avertis.
Ce livre m’a pris par surprise, d’autant que je ne savais pas trop à quoi m’attendre. J’avais vu des commentaires passer sur différentes pages FB de personnes qui parlaient de son dernier livre et je ne connaissais pas cet auteur. Mais j’ai voulu essayer, tester, prendre l’ambiance et connaître son univers.
Bien m’en a pris de suivre mon intuition. Ce livre est totalement différent de tout ce que j’ai pu lire jusqu’à présent, il me faudrait presque créer une nouvelle catégorie pour Kol Anderson, que je pourrais intituler « livres noirs mais poétiques ». En effet, dès les premières lignes, j’ai été surprise par le style d’écriture de cet auteur, à nul autre pareil. C’est noir, dérangeant par la profondeur du désespoir du héros qui vient d’être quitté par son Maître avec qui il était depuis trois ans et le cancer qui touche à nouveau sa mère.
Il prend ce qu’il lui arrive comme un échec personnel et cherche donc à « expier » auprès d’un autre Dom qui le soumet à des séances toutes plus fortes les unes que les autres, d’autant qu’il ne respecte aucune des règles de ce monde pourtant régi par beaucoup de codes. Et il va souffrir entre ses mains. Physiquement d’abord, mentalement ensuite car, malgré tout, il ne peut toujours pas éviter de comparer le Dom qui vient de le quitter avec celui entre les mains duquel il remet sa vie – littéralement.
En dehors de ce désespoir que l’on ressent jusqu’aux fond des tripes, au point de vouloir voir la lumière afin de se rassurer, le style de l’écriture donc, détonne d’autant plus car il est très poétique. Durant toute ma lecture, j’ai eu l’impression de lire un long poème qui tranche avec les dernières pages.
En conclusion, je le recommande fortement pour lecteurs avertis, mais à ne lire qu’une fois bien au repos et au mieux dans sa tête.
Mais c'est là le cœur du problème.
Je n'appartiens plus à personne ni à quelque part.
Peu importe où je vais ou avec qui je suis, je suis toujours seul. Il ya quelque chose qui cloche avec moi, il doit y avoir quelque chose parce que personne d'autre ne semble pas aussi malheureux d'être sans maître.
Mais ne devons-nous pas tous notre liberté à quelque chose ?
Les gens sont des esclaves, n'est-ce pas ? À leur travail, avec leur partenaire, avec leurs enfants, et même avec leur mode de vie ?
Nous avons tous ces petits travers dont nous n'avons parlé à personne, parce que nous pensons que nous allons être jugés à cause d’eux, et parce que nous sommes des esclaves envers les règles de la société.
Dans un monde où l'esclavage est la norme, je suis l'esclave de mes besoins.
À lui.
Et j'ai besoin qu’il me revienne.
AVERTISSEMENT : BDSM HARDCORE.
Pour lecteurs avertis.
Ce livre m’a pris par surprise, d’autant que je ne savais pas trop à quoi m’attendre. J’avais vu des commentaires passer sur différentes pages FB de personnes qui parlaient de son dernier livre et je ne connaissais pas cet auteur. Mais j’ai voulu essayer, tester, prendre l’ambiance et connaître son univers.
Bien m’en a pris de suivre mon intuition. Ce livre est totalement différent de tout ce que j’ai pu lire jusqu’à présent, il me faudrait presque créer une nouvelle catégorie pour Kol Anderson, que je pourrais intituler « livres noirs mais poétiques ». En effet, dès les premières lignes, j’ai été surprise par le style d’écriture de cet auteur, à nul autre pareil. C’est noir, dérangeant par la profondeur du désespoir du héros qui vient d’être quitté par son Maître avec qui il était depuis trois ans et le cancer qui touche à nouveau sa mère.
Il prend ce qu’il lui arrive comme un échec personnel et cherche donc à « expier » auprès d’un autre Dom qui le soumet à des séances toutes plus fortes les unes que les autres, d’autant qu’il ne respecte aucune des règles de ce monde pourtant régi par beaucoup de codes. Et il va souffrir entre ses mains. Physiquement d’abord, mentalement ensuite car, malgré tout, il ne peut toujours pas éviter de comparer le Dom qui vient de le quitter avec celui entre les mains duquel il remet sa vie – littéralement.
En dehors de ce désespoir que l’on ressent jusqu’aux fond des tripes, au point de vouloir voir la lumière afin de se rassurer, le style de l’écriture donc, détonne d’autant plus car il est très poétique. Durant toute ma lecture, j’ai eu l’impression de lire un long poème qui tranche avec les dernières pages.
En conclusion, je le recommande fortement pour lecteurs avertis, mais à ne lire qu’une fois bien au repos et au mieux dans sa tête.
October 22, 2013
'I don't belong anywhere.
Doesn't matter where I go or who I am with, I am always alone.'
Oh now this story is absolutely stunning. I am in love with this author. His voice is so plaintive and self depreciating but his insights into the human psyche whether he is writing purely from instinct,which I kinda think is the majority of the time, are, to me, just genius.
Kol Anderson's use of the journal entry is a wonderful way to highlight the underlying emotions and feelings that Jesse is going through even whilst he puts on a brave face for the rest of the world. They also allow us to feel and understand the things we can't always articulate, the extremes we feel and can never express in a beige and politically correct world. It turns a good read into a great read. It is woven in so that when we read the end it all makes sense and presents us with a neatly tied package.
'People are slaves aren't they. To their jobs, to their partners, to their children, even to their lifestyles.
We all have those little kinks that we don't tell anyone about, because we think we're going to be judged for them, and because we're slaves to society's rules.'
Jesse is the most surprising character in this book, and I can't say much more than that without destroying the ending, whilst, for me at least, Matt takes the emotional and personal journey. It has cheating in it, both on and off page, that is why Matt and Jesse aren't together at the start.
Matt has reverted back to his old ways and it kills Jesse every time he see's MAtt with a new partner. And as far as Jesse's heart is concerned, whatever he does with Noah, a Dom that he picks out to give him what he needs to try and forget Matt and what they had, is cheating, him cheating. It is this that we get dropped into.
I love it because most of us can identify with Matt or Jesse or at least a part of them, and again Kol Anderson shows how he can write in the voice that we hear in our heads. Well mine at least..
Doesn't matter where I go or who I am with, I am always alone.'
Oh now this story is absolutely stunning. I am in love with this author. His voice is so plaintive and self depreciating but his insights into the human psyche whether he is writing purely from instinct,which I kinda think is the majority of the time, are, to me, just genius.
Kol Anderson's use of the journal entry is a wonderful way to highlight the underlying emotions and feelings that Jesse is going through even whilst he puts on a brave face for the rest of the world. They also allow us to feel and understand the things we can't always articulate, the extremes we feel and can never express in a beige and politically correct world. It turns a good read into a great read. It is woven in so that when we read the end it all makes sense and presents us with a neatly tied package.
'People are slaves aren't they. To their jobs, to their partners, to their children, even to their lifestyles.
We all have those little kinks that we don't tell anyone about, because we think we're going to be judged for them, and because we're slaves to society's rules.'
Jesse is the most surprising character in this book, and I can't say much more than that without destroying the ending, whilst, for me at least, Matt takes the emotional and personal journey. It has cheating in it, both on and off page, that is why Matt and Jesse aren't together at the start.
Matt has reverted back to his old ways and it kills Jesse every time he see's MAtt with a new partner. And as far as Jesse's heart is concerned, whatever he does with Noah, a Dom that he picks out to give him what he needs to try and forget Matt and what they had, is cheating, him cheating. It is this that we get dropped into.
I love it because most of us can identify with Matt or Jesse or at least a part of them, and again Kol Anderson shows how he can write in the voice that we hear in our heads. Well mine at least..
January 5, 2017
Jessie traded one abusive Dom for another and, unfortunately, only seemed to recognize physical pain. Noah was physically abusive with his long lasting pain, bloodletting cuts, lack of safeword and lack of aftercare. Matt was emotionally abusive and manipulative with his cheating - hiding, deceiving, and rationalizing it. Jesse was stupid and gullible to go back to him. Jesse didn't get over his depression and never grew a pair - just went back to Matt with only a promise to stop his serial cheating addiction.
August 6, 2014
3.5 stars - I wasn't sure about this one for some time, but Jesse won me over. His pain over losing Matt was hard to read, and the scenes where he was hurt physically were even harder. But Jesse had more strength and heart than I realized. Even though I wanted to strangle Matt, I ended up really happy about how it all turned out for Jesse's sake. Well-written, good read for something different.
July 7, 2014
Another success. Was pleasantly surprised by the ending. But then again, Kol has that capacity to surprise you at every turn. Beautifully written, I felt each step of Jesse's pain, each decision and justification. A recommended short read.
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