The Secret Lives of INTJs

by Anna Moss

INTJs: One of the rarest and most enigmatic personality types of all. Are you ready to dig deeper and find out what really makes this type tick? With 241 pages devoted to every aspect of the INTJ personality type, The Secret Lives of INTJs is the best resource on the web.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help

241 pages, ebook

First published July 1, 2013

Reviews

[Anuja · Rating 1 out of 5]

I could have given it half a star if that were possible! Boring, could not complete.As an INTJ, I was very excited about reading the book, but was quickly bored. Maybe the book does have content that might have been interesting had the writing style been a bit more entertaining (given that this not necessarily a journal publication..the author even put up a disclaimer about the authenticity of the sources in the book!). I generally have a lot of patience with books and tend to complete even the mediocre ones hoping that I will find at least one thing that I like, that wasn't the case with this book unfortunately! Maybe someday I will gather enough patience and courage to complete this!

[Ilona · Rating 1 out of 5]

This books is a fanfic to MBTI with a compilation of various semi-structured and sort-of-untrused research, which anyone writing a book about INTJ should know is a grave mistake. You should put the disclaimer that the book is not based on proper research in the end of the book, because when you do so in the begining, no INTJ will be able to read it seriously. And if your case study is Mr. Darcy from "Pride and Prejustice", try not to quote 1 page from a novel as an example. The book was supossed to be about psychology, not about interpretation of literature.

[Noor The Shape-shifter · Rating 3 out of 5]

One unique and accurate read which I found absolutely enjoyable.
Every INTJ and INTP in the world, you guys go read this! You won't regret it I'm sure.

"What would it be like, I wonder, if the world was completely INTP?" Imagine though! :P :D

[Leah Markum · Rating 2 out of 5]

Half is shorter topics that have some kind of study behind them and half is immense essays on why certain fictional characters are INTJ (quite literally. I actually lost interest once the latter got to 54% of the pages and I still had another 11 of the 245 sneaked in near the end).

I had a four star review from 2017, and I'm not sure why anymore, lol. Probably the good half was interesting.

But if you're writing a book about the "secret lives" aka a more personal perspective, and what you get are scattered topics punctuated by the author's interest in fictional character typing...you have two collections of essays, not a cohesive narrative. Good writing and editing have a lot to do with cohesive narrative, flow, and knowing what to cut out. Ironically, that's quite an analogy for how INTJ thinking works.

The non-fictional character topics are fine, but I'm judging it as a single entity since that's what it is.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

This ebook offers an in-depth look at the INTJ personality and uses numerous studies to back up its claims. It covers such varying topics as careers, parenting, relationships, recreational pursuits, and even mental disorders and their possible relation to type. It's the most thorough and logical examination of a single type that I've ever read.

[Raoufa Ibrahim]

my fisrt DNF
rate:3/5 for the first half
I'm sick of the non sense about Bowditch
it's all the same: taking one character and try to think if it's an INTJ or not
a lot of comparing that I can't bear

[أمَل · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting book that describes INTJ personality from different aspects. However, that I noticed kind of repetition and randomness, I can say that more than 95% of information is accurate , & i like how the writer showed the difference between INTJ & INTP.

Now I can say I am truly INTJ.

[NV · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 ⭐️; I don't have time for a short review, so I will write a long one.

This book may be useful for people looking to understand their INTJ friends, but it contains too many statistics to be interesting to, for example, SPs. I felt like I was myself several times bored by these (and I will explain why later), and I profoundly enjoy math fields. I can imagine that other personality types may find it insufferable - perhaps a better format with sections that summarise and later explain stats/why, that could be skipped, would be better.

Reading this as an INTJ – it gave me hope, it made me think – if this behaviour is strange and determines INTJ, what behaviour is normal? And here I am having a bunch of new books on my to-read list. I wish it talked a bit more about other types in comparison, but this is a book about INTJ and I cannot expect that.

Some descriptions were painfully fitting. I was particularly struck by the following quote, that sums up my own journey:

Before people learn about the MBTI, they tend to have an innocent bias against other types. For example, I used to believe that everyone was an INTP (like me). It was just that everyone else was bad at it.

From my biased perspective, the Artisans were INTPs without enough self control, the Idealists were INTPs who let their emotions get in the way, and the Guardians were INTPs who cared too much about what other people thought of them. How was I to know any different? Other people's motivations were a mystery to me.

I wish more people read it and cared about it enough to be more considerate of others.

I had to take several breaks from this book. This cheer felt too much like INTJs were some kind of gods, and I didn't like that. The author is an INTP and you can feel a natural bias towards NTs here.

In certain places, the stereotypes – which I understand are hard to avoid in book about a personality itself – felt too tough in some places, eg. I didn't really like the Bowditch lack of death stare being an indicator that he is not an INTJ. People adapt, force themselves to do things that are out of their nature, and learn – and advocating against this or that personality based on this in some places felt just forced.

Also, the alcohol tendencies and drug misuse being used as a counterpoint surprised me. I would even say that because of being the "odd ones", NTs tend to have an interest in drugs and self-help more than, let's say SPs – just for different reasons. Perhaps there wasn't enough research to include this point.

Because of the cognitive functions rejection, there were no loops in this theory, and therefore INTJ appeared to be almost flawless. Loops are actually an easy way to see if you are really an INTJ or other type. When one is using only MBTI letters, as author suggested, it's extremely easy to mistype: I'm an introvert – as I stay in my room most of the time, I'm smart and I can somehow glue together a todo list, I must be an INTJ! As you can see my way of thinking isn't included in this equation at all, it also doesn't include my experiences and adaptivity to surroundings.

Author didn't talk about unhealthiness almost at all – and for me, the phases of unhealthiness were something that confirmed my INTJ-ness.

I think the research samples were often too small, and lacking in context; for such small samples, I expected one to draw upon more research of the same type; or mention this research as a curiosity - trying to make sense of such small samples irked me and made me tired of the book.

Cognitive functions hypothesis is rejected, in the appendix the author gives explanation why – and proposes different typing method – and example without going into details would be IJNTfspe. I wish the author also typed previously mentioned people in that new manner. And proposed resources for it for further research – as for now I cannot say anything about it, maybe only the point that is seems just an OCEAN at this point. As for the cognitive functions themselves – they explain a lot of behaviour, but as author said – anecdotally. It's understandable to skip them in a scientific book if there is not enough research and no single definition. However, this book was by no means scientific!

Mention of Ritalin, and drugging and shaping INTJs into SF and SPs by society was a nice food-for-thought. Bowditch and other examples of INTJs in the wild gave me hope there are people like me in the world – it's me who haven't found them yet.

So I will keep looking and in the meantime, let's keep our minds open to our differences. 🕊

[Mahnoor Rahman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Perhaps my review should be taken with a grain of salt. I may be a little biased.

You see, the title suggests that the book will demystify the mysterious, never-before-unraveled enigma of the inside workings of an INTJ mind.

Wrong.

Nothing whatsoever about our 'secret lives'. I could tell you more about how I think and about how it translates into the motivations behind my actions. I was disappointed--I delved into mbti to better understand my cognition style, and hence to figure out a way to improve my learning process.

This book was a time waster along the way.

What I got was a journal, using a lot of case studies to back stereotypes, not always in a convincing manner. Almost half the book covers relationships-not an area I was interested in, and not something for which I would rely on mbti anyway. It discussed a couple of children with off the charts IQs (I'd rather look at the bell curve). It also looked at some fictional intjs--more interesting analyses are available elsewhere online.

So basically the book was about:
a) INTJ are the most intellingent mbti type ever
b) Relationships
c) Character analyses

So useful.

[JD Agrawal · Rating 2 out of 5]

It saved me from the crap of cognitive function. Some good stats. Other than that not a very good book to read. Too many references of fictional characters.

[Davor Nikolic · Rating 3 out of 5]

People are different and can barely change their "innate" personalities. Which is sometimes hard to accept for an INTJ type (like myself), type that is characterized with epithets like cold, arrogant, aloof, maverick, unemotional, overly demanding, smartassy, hyperrational, robot-like, over-planning... INTJ is probably the type that is least prepared to accept people as they are, and either resort to futile cries for a heroic world (Nietzsche and Ayn Rand were probably INTJs) or push for the futuristic ideas incomprehensible to average Joe (for example, Peter Thiel and Elon Musk are INTJs, as were Tesla and Newton).

This book is a thorough look at INTJ personality type, one of 16 types in Myers Briggs classification (based on Jungian type theory), and only big caveat I have regarding this book is over-reliance on fictional characters in explaining abovementioned quirks of the type. On another hand, there is very much sense in having this book published, because there is no other type that would like to know more about everything (including themselves) than INTJ.

Myers Briggs classification (MBTI) can sometimes be critiqued as "zodiac for psychologists", but its practical usefulness is undisputable (for example, I didn't saw very much use of it in human resources practice, albeit I think it is much more usefull than Big five personality traits theory). Especially if you are keen to understand people better than they understand themselves.

[Martin Dolezal · Rating 1 out of 5]

Byl jsem zvědav na nějaký podrobnější pohled na INTJ (hádejte proč) a ze začátku tak kniha i vypadala, ale jak se v průběhu ukázalo, byly to jen občasné "výkřiky do tmy", těch pro mě zajímavých částí bylo pomálu a mnohdy byly jen kratičké. Většina knihy je rozebírání nějaké osoby a ukazování, proč asi je a proč možná není INTJ. To by dejme tomu bylo hezké, kdyby se na tom tedy rozebíral INTJ s ukázkovými příklady, ale bylo to celé uhozené, protože ve většině případů se jednalo o literární postavy (např. Darcy z Pýcha a předsudek, Moriarty od Holmese, apod.). Takže to podle mě trochu postrádá smysl, navíc několikastránkové úryvky z daných děl... Více a více jsem přeskakoval. Roztříštěný zbytek obsahu knihy mi přišel takové jako "jo a ještě jsem četla o INTJ v jedné knížce toto, tak to také zmíním v jednom odstavci. Jo a pak ještě..." Některé příklady jako zastoupení typů ve školách dle zaměření, kdy statistiky byly založené jenom asi na 50 studentech a některé typy tam byly jednou, některé ani jednou, byly také na facepalm. Takže tak. Ale ebook je uvolněný ke stažení zadarmo, tak se to asi dalo čekat.

[Haritha Kusal · Rating 3 out of 5]

As an INTJ, I found this both insightful and frustrating. While Moss makes an admirable effort to capture the complex world of the INTJ, the book is, ironically, unnecessarily long and weighed down with filler. What should have been a concise analysis instead spans pages filled with quotes from other literary works—something that feels entirely out of place in a guide supposedly aimed at INTJs who would rather get to the point.

Moreover, Moss introduces a wide range of characters and people to analyze INTJ traits, almost giving the book a novel-like feel. For an INTJ, this added detail detracts from the experience, making the read feel like it’s tailored for an INFP, not the focused, pragmatic mind of an INTJ. While the book does hit on some accurate traits and insights, the approach is overly drawn-out and loses the sharp clarity INTJs appreciate.

If you’re an INTJ looking for straightforward insights, be prepared to sift through sections that seem designed to cater more to feeling types. A more concise approach could have made this a much stronger resource.

[Kassi · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book takes MBTI studies and highlights where INTJ personality types fall in relation to other types. Additionally, this book identifies several fictional INTJs and analyzes them to illustrate points about the INTJ personality type. I found the section about INTJ children the most interesting, personally, as I had never really read about INTJ children.

I would imagine that this would be a good book for those who have just typed as INTJs to learn more about their personality type to familiarize themselves with strengths and weaknesses and glean information about how they are perceived.

If one is simply looking to understand what goes on in an INTJ's life, I'd recommend asking directly. I don't believe this book contains any particularly unique information that cannot be gleaned elsewhere, but it is a nice place to find a lot of information about INTJs.

[SWAROOP CHOUGULE · Rating 2 out of 5]

This might be my first not so positive review. The book is about one of the 16 MBTI personality types. As an INTJ myself, was excited to read this book, but it felt like reading a journal. The whole book is based on untrusted improper research. It does cover major topics like career, relationships, recreational activities and even the mental disorders. Maybe this book could have been interesting if the writing style were a bit different. Also the major theme comes out to be INTJs are rarest and most intelligent MBTI ever, and their relationships with other MBTI types. Overall, reading this book felt boring, and had to skip certain parts which weren't important to me at this stage.

[Radu-Valentin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I could relate to this book from here and there, but after having looked more into it, the whole thing with MBTI, with learning styles, or other psychological stuff that's supposed to improve our lives just makes us lose a bunch of time... The book itself does contain some data, not that much as I expected it to have. But I did find it decent, at least when I enjoyed all that thing with personalities. I just took it too seriously, that was the problem.

[z · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty insightful, I really enjoyed the research based things and how there has been so much analysis done on the INTJ.

I will say some of the research I skipped, mainly the things about the INTJ fictional characters, since I did not recognise most of them.

This book was a good way to get me out of a reading slump and to dig deep into my interest with the MBTI types!

[Kuccha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good

[KissD · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh. (INtJ)

[Prex Ybasco · Rating 2 out of 5]

I admit the secrecy of it all initially captured my attention. I'm still astounded by the fact that the secrets included within are not secrets at all.

The organization also needs to be improved and some parts of the work need to be hacked for consistency. The chapter about the difference between INTJs and INTPs should be put in the appendices (because the author has another book about INTPs) because her personal recount of somebody she cannot remember the name of but can recall features is hilarious to me. -_-

More importantly, I find that a secret shared to everyone defies the very definition of secret.

I will try to come up with a more substantial review when I feel the need to do so.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I quite enjoyed this light read for how entertaining it was although quite a few of the references to fictional characters were obscure to me. I enjoyed the typing of the fictional characters I did recognise. The book also has links to lots of other related reading material and research which is pretty handy, especially since this topic can be quite pseudo-scientific. I might re-read it at a later date more thoroughly.

[Linnea Gelland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite nice.
Worth a read, if you're interested in personalitys.

[Annika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great study of the type. It covered many different areas which kept interest in the topic up. As an INTJ myself, I highly enjoyed it.

[Divine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hahaha interesting read about my temperament. Should be taken with a grain of salt.

[Amrika Lê]

many things ring a bell, read mainly for entertainment ~~ does not base on cognitive function at all, which has good reasons because the theory does not make much sense either.

[Raissa Fedora · Rating 5 out of 5]

HAHA BEST BOOK FOR INTJS

[Shrief Khamis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some divine secrets are revealed inside those pages. Great book actually

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Random description of the subject

[David Alves · Rating 3 out of 5]

For sure it is a book with very interesting material on MBTI and on the INTJ type. It is filled though with Analysis of characters from Pop culture and their INTJ traits, atitudes and behavious. This makes it repetitive and most importantly boring. More than half of the book is filled with such material. It is more interesting to read about WHAT they do than about WHO they are or were, and the emphasis is clearly on the who.
But it shouldn't be forgotten that these are mere auxiliaries to analyse the INTJ type, but the exemples are just too repetitive.
The two essays in the end are very interesting.

[Caitlin Kline · Rating 3 out of 5]

More of a pamphlet than an actual book. Some of the excerpts are clear cut-and-paste jobs with minor revisions from the INTP version.