This

by Lazaros Zigomanis

I don’t get this.

I don’t have anything to worry about.

I’m fifteen! And in Year 10!

I should be thinking about the way Samantha keeps looking at me, nursing that crush she’s had on me since primary school. Or about Gabriella, who’s so cool and seems interested. Or the Boland Fellowship, an award given out for academic excellence that everybody thinks I could win. Or about my best friend Ash, and the way he’s sullen about his arguing parents, or our friend Riley, who’s becoming a bigger and bigger troublemaker, although we don’t know why.

But when I wake up one night, terrified, it starts a journey of trying to find out what’s wrong. I can’t go to Mum and Dad. We don’t talk about things like this. And kids would at school would make fun of me if they knew.

So it’s scurrying around like nothing’s wrong, while everything’s coming apart.

I don’t get this.

Set in the 1980s, a fifteen-year-old unnamed Greek boy is completely confused about what is going on as he tries to fend off what we now know as anxiety, panic attacks and depression while surrounded by his Greek family, friends and girls he might or might not have a crush on.

367 pages, Paperback

Published August 1, 2023

About the author

Lazaros Zigomanis is a Young Adult author who is interested in exploring important personal and social themes through the craft of storytelling.

His YA novel, 'Pride' (Busybird Publishing), explores themes of racism, choices, and dreams, through the backdrop of a country football league.

A versatile author, Lazaros has had short stories and articles published in various print and digital journals, as well as several screenplays optioned.

He is currently working on a new novel, 'This', which is about a 15-year-old protagonist who deals with the onset of neurosis while navigating the social perils of friends, high school, and his oppressive Greek parents.

Reviews

[Ysabelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

the most accurate and realistic depiction I’ve seen of anxiety/mental illness in YA

[Aryani Siti · Rating 5 out of 5]

The moral of the story in this book is that being kind and understanding to someone who is facing mental health challenges can be really helpful. It shows how important it is to support each other and not judge others based on their struggles. By being there for one another, we can help each other feel better and become stronger.
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Thank you for sharing your story. It's truly touching and motivating.

[Lewis Fisher · Rating 3 out of 5]

maybe im just too old for ya books anymore. i think while important content, the execution was a bit muddled.

[Thea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy read

[Brenda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book that brings us the story of a 15-year-old boy who begins to have a feeling in his chest that he can't identify. This books is set in the 80s, but it could easily happen in the current years.

One of the things I liked most about this book was the fact that the protagonist doesn't have a name, which makes us feel closer to what he feels because, in fact, we, the readers, wear the shoes of the protagonist of this story.

We feel the pressure he feels to be perfect for his parents, to not be a disappointment, to want certain things and his confusion when it comes to teenage crushes.

But reading "This" was more complex than what I expected, as it reminded me of my journey discovering what the protagonist calls "this".

In "This" we have the discovery and knowledge of "this" feeling, but we are also allowed to understand the angle of the people close to us who are trying to understand what is going on and try to help. On the other hand, we also have the part of health professionals (which in this book should be called "not good professionals at all" or "they are everything but help").

And let me tell you… There are a lot of bad professionals out there...! And anyone who reads this book will certainly understand what I'm talking about, as any of us know an example of this or have heard about it from friends/acquaintances.

I felt that sometimes it was difficult to locate myself in the story, that is, I don't know if it was inattention at the beginning or if it was simply mentioned once and the country in which the story takes place was never mentioned again. It can be perceived that it is in the southern hemisphere (due to the seasons), but just as there was a great focus on the nationality of the protagonist's parents, I wish there had been more references throughout the story, especially because his parents want the older sister, Steph, to date a Greek boy, but then it's not clear whether they live in a community with many Greek emigrants.

Regardless, I enjoyed the book, but I can't shake the feeling that I expected more. I am fully aware that this is mainly due to the fact that I created an unrealistic expectation that I would be given a magical recipe to deal with anxiety when in fact the cure that was presented to me is one that, despite being one of the key points to win this inner battle, it is not always possible: to be understood by those around us.

We know very well that in real life understanding and support is something that is rare. People may say they understand, but not everyone actually has the ability (and patience) to actually understand. Furthermore, there are always those who think that because they don't feel anxiety on a given occasion, the other person has no reason to feel it either. They are the so-called golden rosemary who even tell others that they have to deal with the issues within themselves and go to therapy, but they don't recognize that if they went to therapy, maybe others wouldn't need to go...

Basically, this book not only tells us about anxiety, but also about expectations (those that we create and those that others create about us), friendship, companionship and empathy.

Disclaimer: I would like to thank the author for providing a digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest literary opinion.