Lähimmäinen ongelmana : Lopeta murehtiminen näillä konsteilla pärjäät

by Bill Klatte, Kate Thompson, Annika Ardin (Translator)

Useimmilla meistä on elämässämme joku, josta välitämme, mutta jota on todella vaikea rakastaa: alkoholiongelmainen puoliso tai sisarus, huolia tai pelkoja aiheuttava äiti tai isä, aikuinen lapsi, joka tuntuu tekevän samat virheet uudelleen ja uudelleen tai elämänhallinnan menettänyt ystävä. Haluaisit päästä eroon läheisesi aiheuttamista ongelmista, mutta et haluaisi hylätä häntä.

Tämä kirja tarjoaa työkalut, joiden avulla voit käsitellä suhdettasi ongelmaläheiseen. Opit tunnistamaan, millaisia haittoja läheisesi käytös on tuonut omaan elämääsi. Opit hyväksymään tosiasian, että tuon ihmisen tapa toimia ei ehkä koskaan muutu, mutta sinä itse voit muuttaa omaa toimintatapaasi ja reaktioitasi. Samalla kun opit suhtautumaan ongelmaläheiseesi omilla ehdoillasi, opit hallitsemaan niitä reaktioita, joita muuttunut käyttäytymisesi hänessä herättää.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Unfinished, Psychology

230 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2007

Reviews

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

The brother and sister team that wrote this book offer a lot of good strategies for protecting yourself while still being there for what they call a "troublesome loved one." If you have an adult loved one who leaves you feeling like your life has been taken over, and they exhaust you with their manipulation and neediness, then I recommend this book. I learned about creating boundaries and why we should create them. I would read this again, and I probably need to.

[Monica Willyard Moen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is filled with helpful, practical application ideas. I think it needs to be read somewhat slowly because there are so many things to consider as you read. This is one of those books I will hang onto because I think I will want to dip into it again as I adjust my course in working with a difficult relative to build a stable relationship.

[Bedour · Rating 2 out of 5]

كتاب قيم اقتبس منه
"عامل الاشخاص جميعاً بالحب والاحترام وأعر الانتباه إلى الشخص الوحيد في العالم الذي يمكنك تغييره ...نفسك"

[Ftkinard · Rating 4 out of 5]

good tips in chapters 9 and 10 on self-care

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not bad. Basically it helps you see your part in the situations. I didnt like the term 'let go with love's but the concept is great.
-Acknowledge and accept your thoughts and feelings.
-Rethink what happened, plan your response.
-Replace old behaviors with new one.
Don't Clam Up or Blow Up, but Speak Your Truth

Overall good. Super repetitive but maybe that's necessary.

I loved the concept of 'you seem to know everything that wrong with your troubled loved one, but what do you know about yourself' we can't change others but we can change ourselves

Best quote..... "If you care more about the problem than the person with the problem, you are part of the problem"

It comes back to us.... what are we doing?

[Sian · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was very good. It's not psychoanalytical or deep. It spoke to me at a time when I've fully come to realize through years of struggle and wishing otherwise that you must take full responsibility for yourself, regardless of whether or not relationships with loved ones work out or not. Stop being a caregiver. It's not helping.
It's filled with prompts to do exercises and activities for reflection. I didn't do them but found the book to be a brief, positive pep talk for those that are ready to move on.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book provides much-needed practical advice on how to deal with difficult people.

[Katie Lynn · Rating 1 out of 5]

I felt this book was elementary.

I did like:
"There's a saying that when you care more about a problem than the person who has the problem, you are part of the problem."

I also found the 'cutesy' little acronyms and simplifications annoying.