Notes on a Life

by Eleanor Coppola

Eleanor Coppola shares her extraordinary life as an artist, filmmaker, wife, and mother in a book that captures the glamour and grit of Hollywood and reveals the private tragedies and joys that tested and strengthened her over the past twenty years.

Her first book, Notes on the Making of Apocalypse Now, was hailed as “one of the most revealing of all first hand looks at the movies” ( Los Angeles Herald Examiner ). And now the author brings the same honesty, insight, and wit to this absorbing account of the next chapters in her life.

In this new work we travel back and forth with her from the swirling center of the film world to the intimate heart of her family. She offers a fascinating look at the vision that drives her husband, Francis Ford Coppola, and describes her daughter Sofia’s rise to fame with the film Lost in Translation. Even as she visits faraway movie sets and attends parties, she is pulled back to pursue her own art, but is always focused on keeping her family safe. The death of their son Gio in a boating accident in 1986 and her struggle to cope with her grief and anger leads to a moving exploration of her deepest feelings as a woman and a mother.

Written with a quiet strength, Eleanor Coppola’s powerful portrait of the conflicting demands of family, love and art is at once very personal and universally resonant.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Film, Autobiography, Biography, American

304 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Adeline]

I have a lot of admiration for women who have the guts and vulnerability to make their journals and inner struggles public - particularly when my main takeaway is "not sure what I got out of that but guess it's always good to know that being rich doesn't guarantee a life that's happy and free of neurosis".

I wouldn't *not* recommend this; Eleanor C. is a wonderful writer and this book was a very pleasant read. If I had even half her talent for making my thoughts so clear and compelling, I too might be enclined to keep a diary. It's always valuable to hear the perspective of someone who lives in the shadow of a partner with a big name, big personality, big job that both allows and encourages him to let his big creativity run free - especially when she herself has talent and creative aspirations. Hollywood loves legendising men and I often wish we had similar memoirs from women like Melissa Mathison and Marcia Lucas (who incidentally makes an appearance in ‘Notes’ with then-husband George Lucas) about what that world is like.

Here I enjoyed Elanor’s entries about life on sets, moving various generations of Coppolas to various locations for her husband's movies, or the more 'mundane' stories like catching up with old Hollywood friends at Carrie Fisher and Penny Marshall's joint birthday party. Coppola has a knack for making her writing read homey and family-focused, and overall the book feels nicely cosy. At times it reminded me of the way Didion wrote about domesticity, bouts of depression and the need for intellectual stimulation in the same page. Not sure why I enjoy reading that stuff, but apparently I do. I appreciated her honesty in feeling tremendous pride for her husband and children's hard work and achievements, as well as pangs of jealousy that her own career never matched her daughter's.

But even so, I’m not sure what I got from this book - or generally what people get out of it. The wider discussion of whether women can have it both is always worthwhile and interesting, but maybe there’s too wide a generational, cultural or even temperament gap here for me to feel anything other than neutral about Coppola’s take. Guess I find it a liiiiiittle hard to muster sympathy of any kind for her when the domesticity she both loves and resents sounds like the life of Mrs de Winter on a Napa winery, and her ‘failed’ career leaves her (among other things) an accomplished artist, successful director and award-winning documentary filmmaker. Like, come on.

[Lisa Mcbroom · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have such mixed emotions about this book. On one hand it is beautifully written. When Coppola describes things it is like all your senses are breathing in the descriptions. You definetely tell she has an artistic bent. In one part of the book she is reading a book by Anne Morrow Lindberg( one of my favorite writers) and you can see these woman share a common ground being married to domineering poweful men, yet Lindberg seemed to find her voice whereas Coppola seems to live in the shadow of her daughter and husband. In the beginning of the book , she writes of the horrific death of her son Gio but instead focuses on her husband's reaction not her own. With her visual eye, she makes me think of a cardboard cut out painting that is writing about the Coppola family. One does not feel you really know her and at times seems quite unlikeable!

[Katherine Lavelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredible book - Coppola's observations about her life as an artist, filmmaker, and mother and grandmother to three future filmmakers are vivid and moving. This book came out in 2008, I don't know if there any more diaries that might get published, but I would love to read them if they do!

[Rhea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an ordinary book about an extraordinary person. That tension, between the domestic and the glamorous, runs throughout the text. Coppola’s memoir is told in journal form, and I appreciated the non-linear structure, which followed her memories. The touching through line of her commitment to family really struck me. It’s unimaginable, what she’s lost as a mother, what she’s endured with a husband like Francis, and the indignities of being a regular person in celebrity culture. She really explores all of this with nuance, honesty, and even a good sense of humor. Sure, it’s much easier to stay with your husband if he’s rich, but Eleanor also makes many choices and sacrifices to support her entire family. She’s an artist herself, despite getting a fraction of the acclaim of her talented family. The business parts of her career are a bit cringey to me but I appreciated her candor. In fact, this book is pretty dishy! Lots of good gossip in there, which I’m not entirely sure she meant to reveal. The writing is simple, and it calmed me, even when she was reporting on wild adventures I will never experience. And of course I would love to be a Coppola, who wouldn’t?

[Haya Dodokh · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I love the most about this book, that her love for her family is the central theme.
This was a great escape into another life where people exhausted themselves making movies. Eleanor Coppola sounds so down to earth, the kind of person you'd love to have as a friend. Her life alone as a collector, writer, film maker, mother, friend is to be admired.
Highly recommend for a leisurely read.

[Tuck · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is ok, Eleanor describes what life is like in the coppola household, and her interests. she comes off very smug at times, but her life has also been pretty rough, with the death of her 1st born son when he was 22. and being poor and in debt for a long time. she is an active painter, and has her own shows. she is super rich now. most interesting part for me was how she describes sophia as a young girl/woman and the fights mom and daughter had and then sophia as a grownup and the things the daughter learned from her mom and how she uses them in her own life. that's pretty cool, even if the mom IS the one telling the story(s).

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you've ever wondered how the Coppola's live, this memoir will give you a pretty good idea – the estate, the vineyards, the resorts, the private plane: they're all in there. Unfortunately, Mrs. Coppola's journal entries aren't always interesting enough (or well written) to make this book compelling, even though her insights as the wife of such a famous filmmaker are often very candid. I'm glad I read it, but I'll probably never pick it up again.

[Hilary · Rating 2 out of 5]

not my kind of book at all and normally wouldn't of picked it up, but a friend lent and recommended it to me....some interesting bits but a lot of complaining about the lack of fulfillment in her life despite living in a Victorian mansion in a vineyard in the Napa Valley, where she also has an art studio, though she still manages to name drop and go on and on about her successful progeny. mind you a bit hard to be fair to her coming off of Lawrence Durrell and heading back into Faulkner...

[the lost lisbon sister · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have always been enamored with the Coppolas. More specifically, I have always been drawn to the Coppola women. The main Coppola woman who has occupied substantial space in my mind is Sofia; her work, public persona, brand and ongoing legacy endlessly fascinate me, her films touching me in ways I have spent a lifetime trying to replicate. While I certainly knew of Eleanor, it was only within the context of her role as the matriarch of the Coppola empire, as the mother who encouraged Sofia and her siblings to create, the wife who remained by her husband’s side through all his missteps, and more recently, as an obituary posted in the Guardian. Before her passing, I had watched her documentary on the making of The Virgin Suicides, but at the time I was far more focused on what Sofia had to say than the quality of the film.

Somehow, I had subconsciously done to Eleanor something I otherwise deeply abhor: I had reduced her, viewing her only through the context of her relationships to her more famous relatives, the well of my imagination curiously dry when it came to what is, by all accounts, a truly remarkable life. I must admit, when I first bought Notes on a Life, it was primarily to contextualize Sofia’s upbringing, to mine for clues that would prove my theories about recurring themes in her filmography, as well as plain nosiness, to learn more about the American cinematic equivalent to the Kennedys from the perspective of the woman at the heart of it all. I was utterly unprepared for the woman I met.

First, I must discuss the elephant in the room. As I was in the process of reading and making notes, I struggled over whether I should include the parallels between Eleanor’s writing and Sofia’s filmmaking, if by doing so I would once again be contributing to the marginalization of her art. It was only upon reaching an entry towards the end of the memoir, where she spoke about how much of her daughter’s art was credited to her father’s influence, despite many of the attached adjectives being more familiar to her than her husband that I felt it was not only okay, but even necessary. There is a remarkable thorough line between the autobiographical writings of Eleanor and the filmography of Sofia, one that is quite frankly, far more obvious than anything shared between her and her father.

Eleanor writes beautifully, lush prose that utterly entrances the reader accompanied by gorgeous imagery, depicting a lived reality inaccessible to most while simultaneously revealing a deeply relatable inner world. She has an ability to paint the mundanity of chores and the minutiae of running a household with the same graceful glamour she gives to attending red carpets or entertaining the Hollywood elite. While celebrity ennui, depersonalization and ethereal beauty are all present, the most arresting connection remains in the pervasive sense of isolation that persists throughout the book’s entirety. The scenery may be lavish, the set dressing resplendent, Coppola herself as regal and well-spoken as they come, but that aching loneliness, that desire to truly connect, to be understood beyond label or pretension is deeply ingrained in the text, and by extension, in the life and blood of Sofia’s work.

And if we strip back public knowledge, peel away decades of film history and divorce her work from any and all context, does it still hold up? Unequivocally, beyond the shadow of a doubt. Besides having some of the most engaging and classically elegant prose I’ve seen of any modern writer, much less a celebrity memoirist, the story told in Notes on a Life takes on the quality of a second wave feminist parable. The core themes of motherhood, of sacrificing a life dictated by creative passion for the overlooked and often thankless work of raising a family, are bound to resonate with any woman, whether they’ve been put in such a position or otherwise. The conflicted feelings of watching the daughter you love grow up to pursue a life that simply wasn’t possible when you were her age, both of you existing as a mirror of all that could’ve been and all that may be. Having to confront this gnawing jealousy, for to ignore it would be to let it fester and breed resentment. The triumph when the seeds that could’ve sown bitterness blossom into pride.

One of the ways that Eleanor seems to have been able to overcome the circumstances of her life is by marrying the family life she was resigned to with the art she deeply loved. Her documentaries and this memoir are a testament to how deeply she loved creating, and there is something so incredibly beautiful in her adaptation, in her ability to compromise without losing who she was or what she loved. Still, a sense of tragedy lingers, as you are left to wonder what we could’ve had if she had been allowed to pursue her art as unflinchingly as Francis, and to an extent, Sofia did.

Yet Eleanor doesn’t let this tragedy overwhelm her writing. For at the end of the day, she found happiness in her life, fulfillment in her role as both artist and matriarch. She is secure in the knowledge that she not only created beautiful art, but helped facilitate the creation of some of the most important films in our pantheon.

I would like to end this with a paraphrased review of Sofia Coppola’s film Somewhere. People have said this book is ‘like watching paint dry’, and it's true if we're talking about watching paint dry on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

[Bob · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well-written, but not all that interesting. Her book on APOCALYSE NOW was much better.

[Katherine Coble · Rating 2 out of 5]

Frustrating, depressing look at a life of luxury without contentment. Coppola’s writing is beautiful. Her life less so.

[Bo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Trite, life in the lap of luxury, no depth. The writing style is fine, but there is nothing in this to make me want to keep reading. Abandoned midway.

[Kristine · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author has long fascinated me with her art and her words.

[Alissa Sheldon · Rating 5 out of 5]

EC is a gorgeous writer. This memoir gives an inside peek - and a solid dose of humanity - to the life of Hollywood and Napa legends. Enjoyed every moment.

[Emilia ヾ⁠(⁠˙⁠❥⁠˙⁠)⁠ﾉ · Rating 5 out of 5]

She writes so plainly about turbulent, strong emotions, that it can take a few days to realize how heartbreaking these journals really are. It's painful to read about the basic misunderstanding between two people, as much as they get along in their assigned places, of what it takes to feed an artistic life. There's a lot of confusion here, mixed in with love of family, showing how women can get subtly trapped into men's dreams and largely deny their own.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️

[Laine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Movie buffs looking for details on the background of some important films will find this book interesting. Not vital, just interesting.

For the general reader, my criticisms on this one are a bit all over the place. So here goes ...

. So much of the book is about Eleanor Coppola being the thankless mother, the invisible person, amongst fantastic talents. She seems to have written the book out of an intense need to say "I mattered too. They did not do it alone. I have talent as well..." I hear her very well. I am a woman, a mother, an artist, a documentarian, etc as well. I really needed a wife myself for many years. She is not the fantastic talent in her family, her husband and now her daughter are. Francis Ford did have the good sense to marry (and stay married to) such an even-tempered and competent person. It is good manners to acknowledge her, however, and we do.

How I wish this had been the case for the mother of Obama. I read this book around the inaguration of our new President, and am so vividly struck by the fact that the sperm in his genesis is the only thing that mattered. Never mind that half of him is White (from Kansas no less). Never mind that by rights he should have ran the campaign as a mixed-race person, half Black and half White. It seems the background of his mother means nothing. The father is everything. Where were feminists voices crying out about this blatant unfairness? His mother CARRIED him for god's sake, etc. She chose to continue the pregnancy and nurtured him throughout his childhood. She was the one there for him, not his father! Her parents (his grandparents) paid for his extremely expensive private school education. This juxtaposition is completely jarring, feels shameful and speaks directly to Mrs. Coppola's frustration with her basic predicament in life. Tiger Woods seems to be the public figure best adept at acknowledging his Blackness, without refusing his Filipino mother heritage. Kudos to him.

. Mrs. Coppola does have the good sense to not say much about politics or religion (following my mother's dictum) and I appreciate that. She does discuss money a bit however, to my dismay. In one chapter she considers buying art for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Later, she travels to China for indigenous textiles, BARGAINS with an artist woman who is the unique custodian of an ancient dyeing technique, and saves $48 in the process. ARGH. If ever she should have overpaid for something, it is this poor struggling Chinese woman (and her family as well). She also complains about being bankrupt several times (with little detail) but lives a life of sumptuous riches, travel and leisure only few human beings can even imagine, let alone actually live.

. The book very much reminded me of the autobiography of the wife of John Belushi that I had read long long ago. Mrs. Belushi also had an intimate look at the life of a fantastic talent; she also enabled much of his success. Deja vu all over again, eh?

[Catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Coppola shares three decades of her life from her personal journal entries. She writes about intimate details of her relationships with her husband, Francis, her children, and grandchild. She leads a privileged life and expresses many times over how grateful she is to live such an adventurous life traveling all over the world.

Her grief over the loss of her twenty-two-year-old son Gio was palpable. Throughout the entire book I felt a sense of melancholy from her and not just from the loss of Gio. I kept thinking this woman is terribly unhappy. Just because you have money doesn’t mean you can’t be depressed.

I was annoyed that she mentioned several times that they’d had to declare bankruptcy at one point. I’m sure it was a devastating process for the Coppolas to go through. However, at no time were they in a position of wondering if they’d have enough money to feed, clothe and shelter their children, or fear that their utilities would be turned off. The Coppolas live a very insular life, associating mainly with other very wealthy people. So I guess within their circle, poverty is relative.

I had compassion for her when she expressed her deep sadness over the loss of her son, but I felt that much of her ennui was just a rich person expressing dissatisfaction with not being as famous as everybody else in her family.

Movie buffs will probably enjoy many behind-the-scenes stories of the filmmaking process.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book is an interesting treatise on what it's like to take a backseat to a "more" talented/famous husband for most of your adult life and then to take that a step further when your daughter also surpasses you in terms of celebrity. eleanor seems to grapple with her own worth, her artistic talent, and her idea of self throughout this diary of her past 20 years. it's quite a beautifully written book as well as a chance to gawk at the behind-the-scenes private life of the coppolas. if you want gossip about sofia in godfather iii it's here as well as stories from the set of lost in translation and marie antoinette. i'll admit, i got this to read about the more famous coppolas, plus having read tatum o'neals bio, i wanted to learn about the death of gio coppola (died in a boat accident at the heads of griffin o'neal, tatum's brother). it's all here, from the grief-stricken perspective of his mother. i plan to read her other book about time on the set of apolcalypse now as well as re-watch her documentary, hearts of darkness. eleanor has written a compelling book, hopefully that can dispel some of her self-doubt.

[Clare · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I learned from this book is that having lots of money (and I do mean a lot!) and unlimited access to beautiful homes and possessions cannot shield one from unhappiness. Eleanor Coppola is a woman who obviously is grateful her large family and many homes. She also has great appreciation of food, art, textiles, and other artistic pursuits. She writes beautifully about these things.
Unfortunately all the money in the world cannot keep one from suffering. Coppola is the person to whom many things are given and much is expected. While her director husband and successful children are photographed and interviewed, this talented woman is often in the background. In spite of her own successful career, she is known as Francis Ford Coppola's wife and Sophia Coppola's mother. This seems to be very difficult at times for a talented and creative woman.
The tragedies in life know no boundaries and the Coppola family has tragedy as well as happiness. This book explains how even the wealthiest and most talented among us must find ways to cope with life.

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

The entries in this diary memoir jump around with a current thought making Eleanor Coppola think of an earlier episode. In that way she covers approximately the last 25-30 years of her life which encapsulates bothe the death of her son, Gio, the birth of his child posthumously, the ongoing saga of her husband's films and the movement of her other sone, Roman, and her daughter into the business and, in the case of Sofia, winning awards for her work. But, while there is a lot about family, there is also an intense awareness of the world around her - both the people and the place. She occasionally reminds me of May Sarton in the way in which she observes the smallest aspects of the natural world and how open she can be about her own emotions. A very, fine book.

[Deb Kelt · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was easy to read and a bit of a selfish pleasure. Being a Sofia C. fan, I wanted more dirt on her. But Eleanor is an interesting woman, living in the shadow of Frances. And she's lost a son, too, so I connected with that. But honestly, this is a diary of someone who probably wouldn't be published if not for her famous family. That sounds bitchy, and I don't mean it to, because she seems like a really nice person.

[Chad · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been lucky to work for Eleanor Coppola since the beginning of 2001, and had many memories as I read this book of "what I was doing when she...," etc. I also enjoyed the back story to many of the events that shaped their lives. I gained insights into the struggles women have balancing career and family, my wife being an artist and mother like Ellie. The book is very descriptive and Ellie doesn't hold back in telling the embarrassing follies of herself and those around her.

[Missy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely, detailed language that put me right in the moment, yet never overwhelmed the lives being described. On a more personal level, I felt that ping of recognition in the struggle to balance the internal and external, self and family. Also, I guess it's good to know that even if you're married to an Academy Award winning director and on location for the next movie, the mundane aspects of life (hello, clean laundry) don't just get handwaved away.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very insightful book from a woman who lives a wonderful life but gave up many of her own passions to support the creative professional pursuits of her family. This is filled with wisdom about family, film and life, set all over the world but mostly in the beauty of their Napa estate. This also gives great insights into the talented Sophia Coppola, in addition of course, to Francis. Had to re-watch all 3 Godfather movies after reading.

[manatee · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fairly interesting diary description of a life filled with depression,unfulfilled talent,tragedy and creativity. Fascinating stories of being on location. Ms. Coppola writes well and the book is edited smartly with all the events that take place in one location being grouped together.

I found myself skimming a little bit.

[Irina Mitrofan Bitca · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice view of the Coppola family in time. Written as pieces of journals, put up aside, the book is interesting, but king of hard to read. I liked the voice and some detailes written there. Sometimes, going back and forward in time was tricky. All in all, a nice reading, especially as an experiment in different styles.

[Margaret Wappler · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this for work right around the time I read Joe Loya's book. I never read memoirs and yet I read two within maybe a week. I really enjoyed this book -- it moves along gently, detailed and observant, undercut with grief and regret but ultimately peace with her life choices.

[Sandy or Eva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Particluarly interesting as a contrasting memoir to Isabel Allende's Sum of our Days == two now California women, wives, mothers, who've each lost a child tragically, affluent, and literate, but oh so different in their approaches to life.

[Wendy]

Really want to get this one. It just came out in hard cover and I'm waiting for the paperback edition.