What do you think?
Rate this book
Realer Than Real: A True Story of Grace, Hope, and Healing
“Compelling, gritty, heartbreaking, beautiful, humorous, and altogether God-honoring . . . a real work from the heart” are just a few words readers have used to describe Realer than Real, a true story of a Nebraska family’s journey to find grace, hope, and healing amidst tragedy, regret, and disappointment.
The tale is told by Ryan, the Wilkins family’s only son, who chronicles a life-changing loss the family suffered in 2004, the tragedy’s impact on the family, and the unique, winding, complex spiritual paths each family member walked before intersecting in the wake of new misfortune. With candor and perceptiveness, Ryan develops characters the reader feels he or she knows. He displays a remarkable willingness to be transparent and vulnerable in all aspects of the personal struggle, grief, and suffering that his family endured, individually and collectively. He seamlessly weaves humor and insight around heavy subjects—including death, disability, divorce, and abuse, among others—and breathes life into the family’s high and lows, incredible miracles and devastating tragedies, in a way that is both honest and instructive.
Cumulatively, the Wilkins family’s struggles and setbacks over the past decade seemingly defy all probability that one group could endure so many traumatic events over a relatively short period of time and come through it stronger, not weaker. But through reliance on their Christian faith and an outpouring of community support, the family withstood and grew through these trials, learning much about God and themselves in the process. With insight and vulnerability, Realer than Real captures the struggle, pursuit, perseverance, and restoration that accompany faith. The book will captivate readers across walks of life, inspiring them to behold their blessings and to trust God through their trials. “Once you begin reading, it is almost impossible to stop.”
The tale is told by Ryan, the Wilkins family’s only son, who chronicles a life-changing loss the family suffered in 2004, the tragedy’s impact on the family, and the unique, winding, complex spiritual paths each family member walked before intersecting in the wake of new misfortune. With candor and perceptiveness, Ryan develops characters the reader feels he or she knows. He displays a remarkable willingness to be transparent and vulnerable in all aspects of the personal struggle, grief, and suffering that his family endured, individually and collectively. He seamlessly weaves humor and insight around heavy subjects—including death, disability, divorce, and abuse, among others—and breathes life into the family’s high and lows, incredible miracles and devastating tragedies, in a way that is both honest and instructive.
Cumulatively, the Wilkins family’s struggles and setbacks over the past decade seemingly defy all probability that one group could endure so many traumatic events over a relatively short period of time and come through it stronger, not weaker. But through reliance on their Christian faith and an outpouring of community support, the family withstood and grew through these trials, learning much about God and themselves in the process. With insight and vulnerability, Realer than Real captures the struggle, pursuit, perseverance, and restoration that accompany faith. The book will captivate readers across walks of life, inspiring them to behold their blessings and to trust God through their trials. “Once you begin reading, it is almost impossible to stop.”
168 pages, Paperback
First published July 23, 2013
68 people are currently reading
947 people want to read
About the author
Ryan D. Wilkins
1 book9 followersBy Scott Dobbe
Ryan Wilkins is a devoted husband, a proud uncle, a protective brother, a skilled attorney, a fantasy-sports aficionado, and a good friend. His educational and leadership exploits range from the dignified (graduating from college with a perfect GPA; serving as Student Body President) to the slightly-less-so (ring-leading fraternity antics gone hilariously wrong; using the phrase “nuttier than squirrel poop” in a published article). Today, Ryan serves his church and community as a Stephen Minister and via his role on the Board of Directors for Ted E. Bear Hollow, a not-for-profit organization providing grief-support services to children who have lost loved ones.
On a more personal level, I have had the privilege of knowing Ryan since our freshman year of college. Over the years, I’ve witnessed his character in moments both big and small, in success and failure, in joy and in despair. Through it all, I’ve seen a man with a unique talent for pondering life’s big questions in unexpected ways. Perhaps this ability is a reflection of Ryan’s multifaceted personality, comprised of traits that might at first glance seem contradictory.
For instance, anyone who knows Ryan knows that he is intensely competitive. (I once witnessed Ryan wrestle a rival baseball team’s homerun ball from the clutches of another bleacher-seat fan and chuck it back onto the field, only to embarrassingly realize his foe was just a dad trying to keep the ball for his son.) But alongside his competitive nature, Ryan is also known for his kind and compassionate spirit. I think of the time when, during a tough winter and amidst his own trials, Ryan opened his door to a homeless man in need of a warm bed. Likewise, Ryan is undoubtedly one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. This is a man who, on demand, can take any word given to him and immediately repeat it, backwards. For example, grapefruit becomes tiurfeparg, instantly. Yet despite possessing the talent, confidence, and wit to easily brand himself the center of attention, Ryan has a wonderful way of making you feel like the most interesting person in the room.
Above all, though, I’ve come to deeply respect Ryan’s humility and vulnerability. He never lived his life in hopes of writing a book about it. And even though he’s a gifted storyteller, Ryan’s journey is not remarkable because of who he is. Instead, his journey (and in turn, this book) is remarkable because of who God is. My biggest credit to Ryan is how clearly he sees this truth, and how openly he shares his intensely personal and at times heartbreaking story—all in an effort to reveal God’s awesome nature and abundant love.
Realer Than Real is a book as multifaceted as its author: funny, insightful, tender, quirky, and—most importantly—God-glorifying.
Ryan Wilkins is a devoted husband, a proud uncle, a protective brother, a skilled attorney, a fantasy-sports aficionado, and a good friend. His educational and leadership exploits range from the dignified (graduating from college with a perfect GPA; serving as Student Body President) to the slightly-less-so (ring-leading fraternity antics gone hilariously wrong; using the phrase “nuttier than squirrel poop” in a published article). Today, Ryan serves his church and community as a Stephen Minister and via his role on the Board of Directors for Ted E. Bear Hollow, a not-for-profit organization providing grief-support services to children who have lost loved ones.
On a more personal level, I have had the privilege of knowing Ryan since our freshman year of college. Over the years, I’ve witnessed his character in moments both big and small, in success and failure, in joy and in despair. Through it all, I’ve seen a man with a unique talent for pondering life’s big questions in unexpected ways. Perhaps this ability is a reflection of Ryan’s multifaceted personality, comprised of traits that might at first glance seem contradictory.
For instance, anyone who knows Ryan knows that he is intensely competitive. (I once witnessed Ryan wrestle a rival baseball team’s homerun ball from the clutches of another bleacher-seat fan and chuck it back onto the field, only to embarrassingly realize his foe was just a dad trying to keep the ball for his son.) But alongside his competitive nature, Ryan is also known for his kind and compassionate spirit. I think of the time when, during a tough winter and amidst his own trials, Ryan opened his door to a homeless man in need of a warm bed. Likewise, Ryan is undoubtedly one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. This is a man who, on demand, can take any word given to him and immediately repeat it, backwards. For example, grapefruit becomes tiurfeparg, instantly. Yet despite possessing the talent, confidence, and wit to easily brand himself the center of attention, Ryan has a wonderful way of making you feel like the most interesting person in the room.
Above all, though, I’ve come to deeply respect Ryan’s humility and vulnerability. He never lived his life in hopes of writing a book about it. And even though he’s a gifted storyteller, Ryan’s journey is not remarkable because of who he is. Instead, his journey (and in turn, this book) is remarkable because of who God is. My biggest credit to Ryan is how clearly he sees this truth, and how openly he shares his intensely personal and at times heartbreaking story—all in an effort to reveal God’s awesome nature and abundant love.
Realer Than Real is a book as multifaceted as its author: funny, insightful, tender, quirky, and—most importantly—God-glorifying.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
July 25, 2013
It's not very often that there is a book where I say that you MUST read it.
Not you would enjoy it.
Not it's a fun read.
This is one of those rare books that will touch you.
A lot of us complain about our lives. Complain about being stuck in an airport or whatever hassles we have in our daily lives. This book about a Nebraska family. They lost their fifteen year old daughter, Kayla, in a horrible car accident, and a few years later their daughter, Amber, was in a similar accident and was near death.
This book is a book about faith.
About hope.
About family.
About recovery.
About healing.
And it will inspire you.
Not you would enjoy it.
Not it's a fun read.
This is one of those rare books that will touch you.
A lot of us complain about our lives. Complain about being stuck in an airport or whatever hassles we have in our daily lives. This book about a Nebraska family. They lost their fifteen year old daughter, Kayla, in a horrible car accident, and a few years later their daughter, Amber, was in a similar accident and was near death.
This book is a book about faith.
About hope.
About family.
About recovery.
About healing.
And it will inspire you.
September 6, 2013
I'll preface my review with this: I do not share Ryan's spirituality. I'll also preface my review with this: it doesn't matter.
Because this is Ryan's story, and Ryan tells his story with a belief and passion that are utterly sincere, wholely believable, and essential to who he is and the story he has to tell.
In addition to the initial skepticism that I usually have towards books that are even tangentially about faith, I also tend to confront memoirs and autobiographies with a similar prejudice. I often find them to be boring, lacking in consequence or relevant context, and dishonest to the reader with regard to the author's own character. I never felt this way reading Ryan's book. Instead, I ended the book with a sense that I had just finished a lengthy and personal discussion with the real man, as honest and true to himself and his beliefs in print as I know him to be in person.
I encourage those who share my spiritual differences with Ryan to look beyond those differences and give his book a read. You'll share in his laughter and his heartbreak, you'll be entertained, and you'll never get the sense that you are bein bamboozled by someone who has taken to print in order to immortalize himself as a man different and distinct from the man he is known to be by his peers.
Because this is Ryan's story, and Ryan tells his story with a belief and passion that are utterly sincere, wholely believable, and essential to who he is and the story he has to tell.
In addition to the initial skepticism that I usually have towards books that are even tangentially about faith, I also tend to confront memoirs and autobiographies with a similar prejudice. I often find them to be boring, lacking in consequence or relevant context, and dishonest to the reader with regard to the author's own character. I never felt this way reading Ryan's book. Instead, I ended the book with a sense that I had just finished a lengthy and personal discussion with the real man, as honest and true to himself and his beliefs in print as I know him to be in person.
I encourage those who share my spiritual differences with Ryan to look beyond those differences and give his book a read. You'll share in his laughter and his heartbreak, you'll be entertained, and you'll never get the sense that you are bein bamboozled by someone who has taken to print in order to immortalize himself as a man different and distinct from the man he is known to be by his peers.
August 16, 2013
What an extraordinary story about God's grace and love through tragedies in one Nebraska family's life. I read the iPad version of the book as pictures and video clips are scattered throughout and add to the book immensely. The story is heart breaking, but the recovery of the family through God's love is amazing. I loved the scriptures that began each chapter and the foreward by Tom Osborne. Great self-published book!
August 2, 2013
I rarely say this about a book, given that our individual interests vary nearly as much as our individual circumstances, but no matter who you are, this one is a MUST READ! I could not put it down once I started it.
December 29, 2013
This is a true story about a Midwestern family who has received many blessings and has undergone much pain. Yet through all of the highs and lows, their faith is strong. They have shared so much of their personal lives and by doing so; they help others grow stronger in God's love. A beautiful book. Thanks so much to Ryan and his family for allowing the rest of us to join in the journey. Continued prayers for Amber, Bailey and the Wilkins family.
January 19, 2014
most profound; unselfish; real thing that I have ever read! I think I needed this right now! wow!
April 26, 2014
This book was a wonderful blessing to read, and it helps put 'real' life in perspective in many ways. So often we complain about little things, when in truth they don't really matter in the large scheme of things. Filled with love, grace, faith, hope, joy & sorrow - this book runs the gamut on emotions. I cried a lot reading it, but also rejoiced at the tremendous love & faith shared as well. This will definitely strengthen your faith, and it should make you appreciate life & family a lot more too.
August 1, 2013
This was a very sad yet inspirational read. It is hard for me to review as it's not my normal choice of read. This was a little more religious then I expected but again if you are a strong believer and have ever faced any tragedy in life then definitely read this book. True story about the struggles of the life this author endured in his life. Thanks for sharing.
January 21, 2014
Ryan's book is truly inspiring...regardless of your religious convictions or lack thereof. Knowing the family and having read their Caringbridge site all along daughter Amber's journey...gave me a solid background for this book. But even if I wasn't connected to the family and their story, the book still relays an incredible, often heartbreaking tale that will touch you.
December 29, 2013
A very honest book. A very compelling story. If you're looking for a light story, this is not it. If you're looking for a true and compelling honesty, with both humor and tragedy abundant, this is a must read.
March 27, 2014
Such a wonderful story - so real. You feel that you know the people personally. Inspite of severe tragedies and disappointments - God brought them through their grief and hurt to a place of acceptance and hope . I recommend this book so much :)
August 29, 2013
This story defies what we believe is fair in life and then shows us how faith is a real aspect of human life.
January 11, 2014
Incredible testimony of love, faith, and struggles and grief and surviving! True story and highly recommend!
February 22, 2014
A very moving and thought provoking true story. I cried a lot. I read it in one sitting. I would recommend reading it especially if undergoing a hard time.
June 3, 2025
Beauty for Ashes
This story that Ryan Wilkins brings is telling of the family’s life, how they handled tragedy. How God works in the background of our lives. It spoke of the thin places, where heaven and our earth are side by side, but sometimes the separation becomes very thin. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. It got so heavy sometimes that I had to leave it for a while.
Thanks for this story, Ryan. Hope your family is doing well now, some 15 years after the events you’ve written about.
This story that Ryan Wilkins brings is telling of the family’s life, how they handled tragedy. How God works in the background of our lives. It spoke of the thin places, where heaven and our earth are side by side, but sometimes the separation becomes very thin. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. It got so heavy sometimes that I had to leave it for a while.
Thanks for this story, Ryan. Hope your family is doing well now, some 15 years after the events you’ve written about.
March 13, 2019
This is a very open and honest accounting of a tragic few years in the life of the author and his family. They leaned on their faith--and even grew in their faith--in the midst of tragedy. I admire that the author admitted his own failures in his marriage and divorce without saying anything negative about his wife.
July 12, 2017
Emotional and inspiring
It was a very emotional roller coaster for the events of this family. It shows how God is there for everyone, no matter how weak you are as long as you ask.
It was a very emotional roller coaster for the events of this family. It shows how God is there for everyone, no matter how weak you are as long as you ask.
October 9, 2025
This was a comforting and humorous read that encourages me to press forward with my own spiritual journey… RECOMMENDED
September 2, 2014
A very dynamic book that hits you in the heart and pulls you in deeper with every page. A piece of work that is both beautiful and God honoring.
At the very core of this book is the idea that God is realer than real. It is finding him in those moments you desperately need him. When those moments come along, and they don’t always come when you expect them, but they are there, we are reminded that our lives are taken care of and we have to believe. Ryan Wilkins brought us into his life and the lives of his family. The raw depth and emotion exhibited by everyone helped to make the experiences they were going through all that more real for me as a reader.
He and his family suffered one tragedy after another and through it all he was able to find a faith and stick with it. If not for that faith and the firm belief that God is Realer than Real, his life would have gone in an entirely different direction and he knows that. The fact that his entire family gave insight and deep, emotional details into their own past and mistakes brought the story to an entirely different level.
This is not the type of book I readily pick up and dive into. Truth be told, I rarely find myself able to finish one. This book was different. Something about the story appealed to me and I took a chance. I finished in two days and sat thinking about the story long after. There was humor and heartbreak through out the entire writing of this story and it is one that you walk away feeling like you really get to have some insight into how this young man found who he truly is with the help of some amazing people and unbelievable circumstances.
Realer than real is a fast read that will stay with you after the last page. Wilkins honesty is raw and refreshing. If a heartwarming, God-honoring story is what you like, then this is the story for you.
At the very core of this book is the idea that God is realer than real. It is finding him in those moments you desperately need him. When those moments come along, and they don’t always come when you expect them, but they are there, we are reminded that our lives are taken care of and we have to believe. Ryan Wilkins brought us into his life and the lives of his family. The raw depth and emotion exhibited by everyone helped to make the experiences they were going through all that more real for me as a reader.
He and his family suffered one tragedy after another and through it all he was able to find a faith and stick with it. If not for that faith and the firm belief that God is Realer than Real, his life would have gone in an entirely different direction and he knows that. The fact that his entire family gave insight and deep, emotional details into their own past and mistakes brought the story to an entirely different level.
This is not the type of book I readily pick up and dive into. Truth be told, I rarely find myself able to finish one. This book was different. Something about the story appealed to me and I took a chance. I finished in two days and sat thinking about the story long after. There was humor and heartbreak through out the entire writing of this story and it is one that you walk away feeling like you really get to have some insight into how this young man found who he truly is with the help of some amazing people and unbelievable circumstances.
Realer than real is a fast read that will stay with you after the last page. Wilkins honesty is raw and refreshing. If a heartwarming, God-honoring story is what you like, then this is the story for you.
April 4, 2014
I "won" this book in a Goodreads giveaway. I agree with most when I say this is a beautiful written book by man touched by God's grace. Clearly this whole story has God's hand in it. I didn’t find myself surprised or amazed by any of it as my personal story is amazingly similar to Ryan's. I think this is a great book for new Christians as it explains many of the hard questions that we often ask ourselves with regards to God's plan for us. It is a great example of how one creates a personal relationship with God and show's that trusting in Him with your life will always bring you his grace.
July 25, 2015
Insightful
I felt the book was a bit too wordy for me personally but the author was very hosted and detailed about his struggles and successes while maintaining his faith, though hard at times. It's a an inspiring read about a man with questions about God and finding a deeper relationship with Him through tragedies. I like how the author was completely real and honest and didn't give a false witness to act as though he was more"holy" to please the reader. I think many people will relate to him.
I felt the book was a bit too wordy for me personally but the author was very hosted and detailed about his struggles and successes while maintaining his faith, though hard at times. It's a an inspiring read about a man with questions about God and finding a deeper relationship with Him through tragedies. I like how the author was completely real and honest and didn't give a false witness to act as though he was more"holy" to please the reader. I think many people will relate to him.
January 24, 2017
Judge not, that you be not judged.
I realized while reading this book , how the way we were brought up and the particular Church we attended had a way of making us judgmental about such things as slang words and drinking, etc. I haven't changed my mind about such things, however, I see how this can make one judgmental. My only concern is that what I may feel OK with may cause someone else to fall. I don't want to be a stumbling block for a weaker Christian. Great book. Would recommend it highly.
I realized while reading this book , how the way we were brought up and the particular Church we attended had a way of making us judgmental about such things as slang words and drinking, etc. I haven't changed my mind about such things, however, I see how this can make one judgmental. My only concern is that what I may feel OK with may cause someone else to fall. I don't want to be a stumbling block for a weaker Christian. Great book. Would recommend it highly.
January 27, 2017
If you ever believe that you've had a run of bad luck, look no further than Ryan Wilkins' family from Nebraska. They have endured more hardships than most families, and have thrived by their inner strength, spirituality, and love. Though it sounds like this book may be a downer, it is not. In an opportunity to meet the author, I found him to be extremely intelligent and talented, yet he exudes vulnerability, modesty, and a sense of caring for others. He is personally 5-star worthy and more! I highly recommend the Wilkins' family story.
May 16, 2014
A must read for anyone who has suffered loss!
A must read for anyone who has suffered loss!
As I started to read this book I wasn't sure if it would be helpful or just this man telling a sad story of his life. But as I continued to read I was pleasantly surprised at how I could relate to his faith and how much hope he could make me feel in my own loss of my mother and dearest friend. I'm so glad I chose to read the book to the end!!!
A must read for anyone who has suffered loss!
As I started to read this book I wasn't sure if it would be helpful or just this man telling a sad story of his life. But as I continued to read I was pleasantly surprised at how I could relate to his faith and how much hope he could make me feel in my own loss of my mother and dearest friend. I'm so glad I chose to read the book to the end!!!
October 19, 2014
This book was so inspiring. It deals with a Christian family who like most families deal with many heartaches (death of a child, abortion, divorce, bulimia, out of wedlock pregnancy) but what is inspiring is how over the course of each struggle they begin to allow God to heal their hearts and what God does for them is truly amazing, it is a beautiful testimony of what God can do when his people surrender their hearts to Him.
July 19, 2015
A start down the road to "The good life"... But quickly becoming very intense, experiencing tragedy and eventually seeing God's hand through it all. "...if we abandon ourselves to him and listen closely," God brings us to the place [author's words], "where we can finally see, through fleeting glimpses, his perfect nature: A God of awesome love. A God who delights in us with endless joy. A God of heaping grace. A God who is realer than real .
August 18, 2015
This transparent account of a family entirely dependent on God's grace is heartfelt and refreshing. I wept tears of sadness and tears of joy. The author doesn't shy away from his mistakes, fears, or weaknesses, but embraces them in the light of God's everlasting and unconditional love. This book is also extremely well written. I didn't find even one typo (which is rare). It will stir your heart and encourage you to be more like Jesus. Thanks Ryan!
July 8, 2016
I was expecting it in the form of stories but there are a lot of deep scriptures discussions. I was caught off guard. The author is really transparent of his life story and that is inspiring. I will probably have to re-read the book to grasp it completely. The author has such a positive outlook and opinions about those around him that it is almost not believable that this is real story. I do hope to find more people like him and his friends/family members. Something to strives for.
September 16, 2013
I really enjoyed this book. I'd like to read it again to take more time with it, and let some of the messages absorb & think about the discussion questions. I read this book because it was recommended by a friend - the man that wrote the introduction, Scott Dobbe, is the brother of one of my best girl friends. She suggested it to me, and I really enjoyed it!
July 16, 2015
Wow!
It's truly a book you can't put down. It is so inspiring;, yet,it's also heartbreaking. Ryan experience loss that truly will break you heart; nevertheless, in his pain God was their. I believe this is what the book is about, God's Grace. We all have or will experience tragedies that will test our faith. But. God is still GOD, who will be with you. This is a must read.
It's truly a book you can't put down. It is so inspiring;, yet,it's also heartbreaking. Ryan experience loss that truly will break you heart; nevertheless, in his pain God was their. I believe this is what the book is about, God's Grace. We all have or will experience tragedies that will test our faith. But. God is still GOD, who will be with you. This is a must read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews