Wild Nights: Conversations with Mykonos about Passionate Love, Extraordinary Sex, and How to Open to God

by David Deida

" Wild Nights cuts through the illusions of modern spirituality into the depth of life before God. Impure, soaked with all bodily liquids, pierced by clear recognition of death, wide opened with the power of love―living as love―in any moment of daily life. If you do not choose to be a hermit, if you want to practice awakening within relationships, in the realm where sex and death are such powerful momentums―you'd better read this book, and not only once."―Rabbi Ohad Ezrahi, author of Paths of Empowerment

Meet Mykonos, both scurrilous madman and the voice of truth. Wild Nights presents David Deida's remarkable account of his days with the unconventional teacher who revealed to him the deeper wisdom of the erotic path to the divine.

From our very first encounter to the "burden of bliss" that is his parting gift, Mykonos challenges our understanding of what makes a spiritual life. Brutally candid, he offers his teaching to anyone ready to listen, with an uncanny ability to see into the hearts and minds of his students better than they can their own.

Charged with provocative scenes of unbridled passion and play, Wild Nights explodes with spiritual insights into our choice to "open as love, or close and suffer"; yogic sexual techniques including circular breathing and expanding feeling beyond the self and into the heart of a lover; and why, for some, full sexual expression is a requirement of spiritual maturation.

For its honest depiction of the spiritual teacher and student relationship―and the questions it demands we ask about our own sexuality― Wild Nights proclaims David Deida a guiding light in the often cloudy realm of sex and spirit.

Genres: Sexuality, Spirituality, Relationships, Fiction, Mysticism, Psychology

216 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2000

About the author

David Deida is an American author who writes about the sexual and spiritual relationship between men and women.[1] His ten books have been published in 25 languages. He conducts spiritual growth and intimacy workshops and is one of the many founding associates at the Integral Institute. He has conducted research and taught classes at the University of California at Santa Cruz, Lexington Institute in Boston, San Jose State University and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris. He is the author of numerous essays, articles, and books on human spirituality including The Way of the Superior Man, Finding God Through Sex and Blue Truth and the autobiographical novel Wild Nights.

Reviews

[Mike Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

The cover sells this book as a way to deeper spirituality through passionate sex. While that's part of the message, it's not the entire message. This is a novel that denies that it's presenting any specific spiritual or sexual advice, but is largely the "teachings" of its main character, a sexual-spiritual advisor named Mykonos. The narrator is one of his pupils. I think what the book is saying is that the best way to live your life is to be in a constant state of love for everything and everyone around you. Open up your mind, heart, and body to the mystery of the cosmos. How one is supposed to hold down a job and meet one's basic needs while doing this is never made quite clear. There also appears to be a requirement for a lot of meditation, breathing, and yoga, but no directions on how to perform these are given. On the whole, the book comes across as promoting a somewhat self-indulgent lifestyle. There are some potentially interesting ideas here, but they aren't really presented in enough detail to judge them.

[Katya Morozova · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book if you have an open mind and can put aside your judgments about what sexuality "should" be. Not just a book about sex, but a book about how to incorporate spirituality into sex, and fuze your sexuality into life.

[Jos-Madelaine Standing · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this in Summer 2006 when I read it and made sure to pass it along when finished with it. It offers an extremely open-minded perspective to love, sex, and relationships - and maybe even a way out of the suffering...

[Phyllis · Rating 1 out of 5]

I kept reading, hoping for something of value. Very repetative. He never told us how to open to God. I think he is indicating that a lot of self love is the way to go...

[Hisham · Rating 2 out of 5]

I cannot count the number of times I thought to myself "what the fuck?!" while reading this book. There are some nuggets of wisdom here and there, but they are sandwiched in a mess of confusion. David's writing is ridiculously muddled and highly repetitive. It seems that the book is more about creepy masturbation orgies than a "spiritual" guide. The book is rife with woo-peddling and a silly outlook that is easily seen through for what it is, especially having read the Jed McKenna Trilogy (along with his "theory of everything"). For a clearer and more concise distillation of Dieda's ideas (that are actually relevant to real life), I recommend reading "the way of the superior man" and "blue truth" and skipping this creepfest. Unless you are really into orgies and circle-jerks haha.

[spartevan · Rating 3 out of 5]

A few phrases and concepts stand out for me, especially "How to Open to God" - which is a concept repeated by many of the women in this book, but apart from that it seemed like a long bloated group chat among the "wokes", describing their group orgy from the night before in "woke" language. In Deida's defense, I don't think Wokes existed or were quite the epidemic when he wrote this book. It's unfortunate of the cariacature they've become.

[Lorenzo Bovitutti · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have equated spiritual practice with squelching my desires, denying them, suppressing them. I could sit in a clean room by myself and meditate for hours, but I wouldn’t dance with what Mykonos called “the lady”. I was afraid of life. I was afraid of death. I was afraid even to drink a beer and lose my purity. I want refuge, not chaos. I want peace, not passion. I was trapped in my little room of sanctity, in my meditative stillness and solitude. This wasn’t true freedom. Nor was it love. As Mykonos pointed out, I wasn’t penetrating the world with my love and opening “her” into bliss. Rather, I was pulling back. I was obsessed with myself.

“Yes”, Mykonos continued. “Can you see everyone, meet everyone, feel everyone, as if you were singing happy birthday to them?”

I’m also married to my wife, but that’s a whole another thing. In truth, my wife and I are each married to Great One. We don’t expect our personal relationship with each other to make us happy - we don’t expect anything to make us happy. You are either open - which is happiness itself - or your closing down and suffering.

The pain in your heart? Feel it. Love is a wound, my friend, a wound that never heals.

Look at your friends here. They’re so beautiful, so full of flight. But imahine that you could see through their skin. Hmmm? What would you see? Blood, pus, and excrement. Bile, mucous, and urine.
It’s just a piece of meat, that cock or pussy you want so much.
And if you could see it even more, down to the molecules in atoms, you would see mostly space you know?
Nothing here is worth clinging to – it’s all just rotting meat, dancing electrons, and empty space - yet that is all most people do, cling to the withering flesh they have, and wait for something better to save them from the emptiness they dread.
“Everyone occupies their time while they wait for THE big fuck, the thing they hope will finally make them happy, and all the while they’re clamping down their pus-sack bodies, enjoying a few minutes of pleasurable dribble in an otherwise utterly boring day, holding back their hearts while they wait for a mommy or daddy who could save them and make them feel loved, denying God’s fuck with the dumb, relentless churn of their doubting mind, resisting the Great One’s love, the ever present Big Bang of God’s love exploding as everything they see and don’t see, missing God appearing now while absorbing their terror in work and kids and whatever people do.

[Tai · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has changed my views on the experience and notion of sex. Besides the sensual journey throughout this book, Deida emphasises the concept of death. The protagonist Mykonos who is spiritual teacher that teaches his student that death is inevitable therefore we should make the most of this exact moment by breathing in love and life. Mykonos encourages his students to open to god during their sexual activities and feel the presence of the great one.

In summary, the reoccurring theme of death, love and god illustrates that life is short. Be fearless, get uncomfortable and strive for higher experiences.

[Jordan Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my all time favourite books. If you are someone who grew up with fear, shame, or heavy religious programming around your sexuality, then this book is for you. It discusses, through an engaging story, how the spiritual path can be walked while having a deeply nourishing sex life. In other words, using sex as an awakening device. Highly recommended.

[Nick · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an experience, I enjoyed thoroughly and entered my life at the right time. Some concepts scare me while others seem to be spot on. I will explore David Deida more fully thanks to this book.

[Brittany (hauntedbycandlelight) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not his best work.

Essentially, the message is to approach life with love in your heart. But in order to get that message you have to be pretty open minded to get past the pornographic type writing.

I’d recommend Way of The Superior Man or Dear Lover over this any day.

[Amir · Rating 2 out of 5]

deida is more of a spiritual teacher, not so much of a writer. still there is fun to be had and things to learn from this book.

[Adam Mika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pokud je člověk ochotný nečíst jenom slova v této knize, ale nechat se jí pohltit - otevřít se jí - je nekonečná...

[Luiz Brüggemann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quase tão bom quanto o livro Blue Truth. Nesse livro, David Deida não é politicamente correto. Há momentos que Mykonos é profundo em relação a energia feminina.

Algumas frases de Mykonos que eu traduzi e anotei:

- "Um oceano pode cair sobre a sua cabeça, mas, se tudo o que você tem é apenas um dedal, então você não consegue pegar muita coisa."

- "Quando um homem perde-se na vida sem saber a sua morte, ele já não é mais um homem."

- "Quando você está atado por objetos — mesmo as pessoas que você mais ama — você então sofre, porque objetos e pessoas não podem lhe dar o que você precisa."

- "Muitas pessoas não entendem que a vida é curta e todos os objetos — e relacionamentos — desaparecem."

- "Felicidade é sacrificar a si mesmo para o infinito, para morrer extensamente aberto feito amor, não se segurando em nada, cedendo a si mesmo para todos como se eles fossem Deus, porque eles são Deus."

- "Você deve aprender a viver extensamente aberto, machucando-se aberto com amor."

[Eugene Pustoshkin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Книга замечательная, мудрая. Имеет смысл не воспринимать её излишне буквально, хотя в ней есть и довольно прямолинейные вещи, в частности указания к восприятию недвойственной природы реальности. Прежде всего, стоит относиться к книге как художественной литературе, написанной в реалистическом жанре. Есть и спорные моменты (например, у Миконоса, по сюжету — ветерана войны во Вьетнаме, явно присутствуют элементы военной психотравмы, отчасти отсюда его расколотость и противоречивость; ни в коем случае не стоит воспринимать всё на веру и как указание к действию; ну и, в целом, лучше думать своей головой и беречь себя от излишне неинтегрированных и расщеплённых персонажей, сколь бы талантливы они ни были).

[Khaled Ghorab · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great novel. I'm half way through and I am amazed by the depth of words and analogies used in a spiritual environment to encourage manhood and leadership in the field of relationships. I highly recommend that the readers of the book indulge themselves into the content rather than the words themselves. Understand the concepts and ideas behind every sentence instead of judging the words that are put out there. This book is amazing!!

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, this book is on the edge. For me, it pushed the boundaries of what I thought about sex and spirituality. Personally, I appreciated that a great deal, but I imagine this is one of those books that you either appreciate or are offended by.

[Timm]

Not for the faint of heart. Principles of Free Love and Fucking reality open into God. Pornographic, erotic, and oh so cherries and choclate, this book is a demonstration ultimately of unbounded and radically undone living.

[Alison Baker · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was waaay out there for me. It mixes sex and spirituality in this very weird way. I could not finish it!! I would pass.

[Linda Galvan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite an interesting book on God and love and sex...shared through a cast of interesting characters. Different...which makes it intriguing to read.

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent story. However, the book is very extreme. I recommend reading his other books before going into this one. You'll have a better understanding of where he is going in the story.

[Michele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Racy

[Leonard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Crazy shit. I think I'm starting to understand you ladies.

[Sean Burchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

it was an interesting read and it certainly challenged me in my preconecptions of what is acceptable behaivour. There is a great depth to this book if your willing to accept its "grittiness".

[Junyan Boon · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favourite books.