"Face It" felt rougher around the edges than Kaplan's two previous books, "Ex-Wives of Dracula" and "Scissor Link" but I still found the read entertaining.
The story is not really a heart-warming romance so much as it's a comedy that happens to bring two people together into a romantic relationship by the end. If you're looking for a sweet, emotional, warm fuzzy type book this is not the read for you. If you're in the mood for endless snark and some good laughs with a romantic twist then cozy up and keep your drinks to a minimum. It's highly probably you'll inadvertently choke or spray your e-reader (or paperback, if your old school).
Elizabeth, the admin assistant from Scissor Link, is the lead in this novel and we see events from her point of view. She's a likable but standoffish character that doesn't want to get close to anyone. As a result, I liked her but felt some distance, too.
Michelle, her counterpart in the fake relationship, isn't likable in the least and we spend most of the book wondering what Elizabeth sees in her.
Luckily, we don't have to spend too much time with Michelle as the majority of the book takes place with Michelle's rather quirky and large immediate family over a week's time before Christmas. I've seen some criticisms that the week felt too long but I actually thought it was fine.
The tone of book has a very "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" vibe.
I noticed that every single character in the book is snarky, except maybe the dad. Kaplan did manage to make each individual unique but the dialogue and references are rapid fire between all of the characters so I felt a certain heightened, on my toes, kind of feel for the entire read. Its style takes away from the realism of the book and lands it more in the realm of slapstick.
I will say that very few books actually get me to laugh out loud and this one managed to do so numerous times. For that, I give it mad props.
Kaplan also pushed the envelope, making very non-PC jokes about race, sexuality, and gender. Not in an offensive way but more with a Stephen Colbert "Ooooh, that's a bit uncomfortable" type of flavor.
In addition to Elizabeth being pansexual, which we don't often get in a lead, other members of the cast included a brother with mental illness and another with Autism. I like seeing that type of diversity.
Definitely enjoyable but not perfect. Overall, I'd put this in the high 3 stars.
******
Too many great lines in the book to highlight but I managed to snag these:
“Well, I think representation is important.” Michelle squinted. “And anything that increases representation can’t be all bad.”
“You haven’t watched many lesbian movies, have you?” Elizabeth asked.
"...What’s a pansexual anyway?”
“It means I’m attracted to all genders.”
“Oh, all right. So what’s the difference between a pansexual and a bisexual?”
“About ten hours of arguing on the Internet.”
Years of secretarial work had taught Elizabeth that sometimes it was best to play peacemaker; you could always stab someone in your imagination.
“I’ll come with,” Anne said, popping up like a kernel of popcorn that had decided to explode long seconds after the microwave timer had reached zero. “I have some stuff I need to pick up.”
Anne smiled back at her with such an impressive ‘and-the-horse-you-rode-in-on’ politeness that Elizabeth felt like she was getting roasted by the entire state of Minnesota.
“Nah, I wanna touch base with Ginger, too. She’s a cashier over there. Her sister down in Delaware just had twins, so I want to give her a hug in person, get her to pass that on to the new munchkins for me.”
Holy shit. Elizabeth hadn’t been sure anyone she wasn’t related to was capable of that level of bullshit on the fly.
“That’s nice of you,” Barry said, with the cheerful obliviousness any father developed when his daughter hit her teens. “You don’t mind, do you, Elizabeth? A long car ride like that goes down easier with a little company.”
“Or a radio,” Elizabeth muttered.
“You know any of the radio stations in Ohio?” Anne asked, buckling her seatbelt.
Elizabeth pushed the start button with her middle finger. It was a little satisfying.
Anne thudded on the radio and spun the dial until it landed on 93.7. It was playing some decent music, so Elizabeth let it slide, but Christ, did some people have a way of finding new nerves to be the last nerve they could get on.
“...You’re an only child, right?”
“Hopefully. Would you put my phone back?”
“Care to get some training in?” Shane asked her. “Hardcore workout I’m putting my baby bro through. Not everyone can keep up.”
“Nah, I get my exercise from running away from my problems,” Elizabeth said, and brought the newspaper inside.
...and finally were seated in an ungodly amalgamation of booth and table. Elizabeth pictured a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party for gay kids. But then, who would the mascot be, Richard Gere’s gerbil?
She laughed to herself and thought how ashamed she should be for thinking that.
The waiter came by, reminding Elizabeth once again that while she was attracted to men, she still didn’t get the appeal of twinks. She’d always held that the less a prospective lover reminded you of Justin Bieber, the better. But he took their orders professionally, with none of the sadism Elizabeth would take in seeing the middle-class Irish order things that made a Sex on the Beach look subtle and skimpy on innuendo. The waiter took off, and they were all left reconsidering their open-mindedness.
“I thought there’d be more leather,” Shane said.
“You’re thinking of an S&M club,” Elizabeth said. She kept her voice only slightly chiding. “Gay equals liberal equals vegan. Not a lot of leather.”
“Everything’s either still going or coming back,” Shane said. “You know they just did a CHiPS movie? What’s the audience for that, people who fuck to TV Land?”