I read another review that said this book is best used as a quick read to finish your reading challenge for the year, and that’s pretty much what I did.
I struggle with small talk, and generally abhor it, but I also recognize its strategic value in relationships and networking, so it is an area where I need improvement.
One thing this book does well is humor. It’s engaging and random, and that helps the book to go fast. Many of the conversational tips rely on surprise, using some out-of-left-field comment to steer the conversation in such a way that catches the other person off balance, making you look powerful, clever, and interesting. See, strategy. But, many of the suggested tips/comments are random enough that they would feel odd in actual conversation. I would guess that it takes a charismatic person to actually pull them off.
A strength of this book is reframing the idea of small talk as useful and necessary, focusing on relationship and connection. I can see the value, even though it is not my comfort zone. Some of the best tips involved taking the typical, safe small talk topics (weather, traffic, and prices), and shifting the conversation to ‘big talk’ about those topics. This is great because it uses a safe starting point to delve into more personal or vulnerable territory, which is great for those of us who need ‘deep’ conversation. My favorite question about the safe topic of traffic was, “Which number is greater, the number of drivers you’ve flipped off, or the number of times you’ve been the flippee?” This is lighthearted enough to still be safe, yet still allows those chatting to actually get to know each other.