Love to Stay: Sex, Grace, and Commitment

by Adam Hamilton

In this book, Adam Hamilton explores how, with God’s help, we can make love last. Drawing upon a survey of thousands of couples and singles, interviews with relationship and marriage therapists, the latest research in the field, and wisdom from the Bible, Hamilton looks at what it takes to create and sustain healthy, meaningful romantic relationships across the course of a lifetime. Contents include: More Than a Piece of Paper; What She Wants; What He Wants; The Significance of Sexual Intimacy; Habits That Hurt, Habits That Heal; Clothe, Bear With, and Forgive; A Love That Lasts a Lifetime

Genres: Nonfiction, Marriage, Religion, Family, Spirituality, Christianity

173 pages, Hardcover

First published July 22, 2013

About the author

Rev. Adam Hamilton is the founding pastor of the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas. He grew up in the Kansas City area. He earned a B.A. degree in Pastoral Ministry from Oral Roberts University and a Master of Divinity Degree from Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University.

The United Methodist Church of the Resurrection has grown from four people in 1990 to more than 16,000 adult members with an average weekly worship attendance of more than 8,600 in 2011. The church was listed as the most influential mainline church in America in a 2005 survey of American pastors.

Adam has been married 30 years to LaVon. They have two grown daughters.

Reviews

[Rebecca Engebretson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Abingdon Press provided me a complimentary copy of Love to Stay by Adam Hamilton for review purposes. Readers familiar with Hamilton's Making Love Last a Lifetime will find Love to Stay similar in style and content. This book is a quick, easy read and I recommend this book to couples interested in reading it together. Love to Stay provides insights into marriage based on Hamilton's experience as a pastor and a marriage survey conducted at his church, The United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas. The results from the marriage survey were interesting and showed the differences between what men and women want in a partner. For example, when participants were asked what is one thing they would change about their spouse, the top answer for married women was listening skills and married men answered more interested in sexual intimacy. I found his words comforting and encouraging, especially the chapter 'More Than a Piece of Paper'. His perspective on the mission for marriage was particularly helpful, and directed at both the husband and the wife equally. His teaching in the rest of the book go beyond the typical marriage advice given to women in religious marriage books. Refreshingly, he does not discuss how the wife can better serve the husband. Rather, his emphasis is on the importance of having a relationship with God as the foundation in marriage. I highly recommend this book to couples looking for a fresh perspective on Christian marriage that involves an equal partnership between husband and wife.

[Adam Solorio · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just finished this.

Adam Hamilton is a very good Bible teacher. He has several good character studies and series. When I saw this I thought I’d give it a go.

Nothing profound, nothing you haven’t heard before, but somehow he presented it fresh and encouraging. A great reminder and encouraging book on marriage. Easy to read. Would make a good teaching series or book to give as a gift to couples or newlyweds.

Rating: 4 open books out 5. 📖📖📖📖/5

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love To Stay was a great read -- both for married couples and singles. The book was a quick and easy read, yet also had depth and a lot of helpful and good information. I liked how there were sections at the end of most chapters for couples to do together, on their own, and a section for singles.

All in all, a good read.

*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it on my blog. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*

[Riss · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, a very insightful book on marriage/healthy relationships. The relation of God’s word as well as results from a large study helped emphasize some of Hamilton’s key takeaways.

As a young person in my 20’s, some of his authorship definitely is geared for an older generation than mine and his mindset shows this. His experience of marriage started as a teenager so his views on some things I would not personally agree with because my life experience has been much different. Overall he emphasizes that they are his own experiences and that everyone is different so I respect his words and story because of his lack of shaming others.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a good book. It is well thought out and well organized. It seems pretty practical as well.

Ignore how long it took me to read this book, (I forgot about it after the introduction) it’s a fairly quick read!

[Kaley Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful premarital counseling book! ❤️ I highly recommend it (even if you’re already married). It’s practical, faith based, and filled with research that really makes you think… the statistics don’t lie!

[Bethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

We led a class through small group study with this book and the accompanying DVD and leader guide. It was nice to be able to discuss this with others and gain more insight into marriage dynamics.

[Christina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn't love this. Had some interesting statistics, but felt more like a light summary of other relationship books I've read.

[Tonya · Rating 5 out of 5]

The mission of marriage. What is it exactly? Hamilton says the mission of marriage is for both husband and wife to be helpers, partners, and companions for one another. One subtitle of this chapter, eros, agape and the vision of marriage. Great stuff.

"If LaVon and I weren't married, I would want to be the kind of man she would fall in love with." -- I think this is such a profound statement and one I agree with.

Hamilton talks about different aspects of the married relationship and how the differences between men and women and then differences in what is important at different stages and ages of life. The research he did was so thorough and really makes you feel like you are normal!

I found so many things in this book so simple, you wonder why you didn't think of it. I tagged so many pages with so much solid advice and it all comes back to the Bible.

Another statement from the book that I found so awesome was, " If we want to affair-proof our marriage, attending worship is a great place to start."

You will find many more gems like this one and so much more! A book that is easy to understand, with verses backing up why Hamilton believes the way he does!

[Will Waller · Rating 5 out of 5]

This excellent study of marriages and relationships was a vital assistance during a study of the Song of Solomon. Hamilton utilizes his sermons to write this short book on romancing, love, relationships, addictions, and habits that break marriages up.

Some of the positive attributes of the book: Hamilton does a fine job breaking down the challenges that we have in modernity to maintaining our covenants with God and our spouses. Sex is often trivialized in our culture as being bereft of meaning leading to multiple partners. He claims accurately that sex is deep with Biblical, bodily and social meaning. Secondly, marriages can easily be in trouble but through commitment, communication, and celebration in worship, they can thrive. Finally, the author details how we stay committed to one another. It starts with clothing ourselves in forgiveness. We mess up as couples and we must learn how to forgive one another. We will be annoyed by our spouse or partner - we must not let that annoyance turn into lashing out in anger but in words of edification and respect.

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

My husband and I read this as part of a couple's study at Church. It is a wonderful book for improving your relationship. He is the pastor of a very large church and used the results of a relationship survey they did there to provide data for the book. He humbly shares parts of his own relationship with his wife in an effort to convey that marriage is work for everyone. He also ties in scriptural references to reinforce that marriage is a covenant relationship and that by honoring our partners we honor God. He gives you practical advice for making your relationship stronger. My husband and I got a lot out of the readings and discussions. It has given us a renewed vigor towards making our relationship the best it can be.

[Jana · Rating 5 out of 5]

By far, my favorite book on marriage. Adam Hamilton is real. He acknowledges real problems and temptations and some of the realities of marriage, and lays them out alongside Scripture. Definitely not a How-To book. It really spells out more that marriage is difficult, and survivable, and beautiful. Loved it.

[Darci · Rating 5 out of 5]

This would be a great book for pre martial counseling and maybe even for marriage counseling. If couples read this and put it practice for a significant time before deciding to call it quits, maybe they wouldn't come to that decision so easily.

[Tim Beck · Rating 4 out of 5]

a good book. an easy read. gave very practical advice and steps to strengthen ones marriage. i enjoyed it.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Adam Hamilton's sermons and his way of teaching. This book was no exception. Well written, not too preachy, and full of great, practical advice.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful information. Includes things to think about as a single as well

[Amanda]

really took away some good key points to use in our marriage.