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Hellquad
Years ago an infamous couple had been executed for selling solar secrets to an intergalactic enemy... then the sentence was reversed and the victims resurrected. The two had stowed away a planet's ransom from their treason and their heiress had long disappeared with the loot. So Soldiers of Fortune Inc went to John Wesley Sand and asked him to find the missing maiden, who was last seen in the Hellquad sector.
To Sand, however, Hellquad meant, in his own words, "slavers, space pirates, welfs, mews, madmen, psychotic cyborgs, lunatics at large, brokedown andies, lycanthropes, alfies, senile servos, zombies, the dregs of every other planet in the universe."
But the money was too good to pass up and so Sand took the job—and found everything he expected, plus some mind-boggling things that he didn't!
To Sand, however, Hellquad meant, in his own words, "slavers, space pirates, welfs, mews, madmen, psychotic cyborgs, lunatics at large, brokedown andies, lycanthropes, alfies, senile servos, zombies, the dregs of every other planet in the universe."
But the money was too good to pass up and so Sand took the job—and found everything he expected, plus some mind-boggling things that he didn't!
158 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1984
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About the author
Ron Goulart
603 books99 followersPseudonyms: Howard Lee; Frank S Shawn; Kenneth Robeson; Con Steffanson; Josephine Kains; Joseph Silva; William Shatner.
Ron Goulart is a cultural historian and novelist. Besides writing extensively about pulp fiction—including the seminal Cheap Thrills: An Informal History of Pulp Magazines (1972)—Goulart has written for the pulps since 1952, when the Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction published his first story, a sci-fi parody of letters to the editor. Since then he has written dozens of novels and countless short stories, spanning genres and using a variety of pennames, including Kenneth Robeson, Joseph Silva, and Con Steffanson. In the 1990s, he became the ghostwriter for William Shatner’s popular TekWar novels. Goulart’s After Things Fell Apart (1970) is the only science-fiction novel to ever win an Edgar Award.
In the 1970s Goulart wrote novels starring series characters like Flash Gordon and the Phantom, and in 1980 he published Hail Hibbler, a comic sci-fi novel that began the Odd Jobs, Inc. series. Goulart has also written several comic mystery series, including six books starring Groucho Marx. Having written for comic books, Goulart produced several histories of the art form, including the Comic Book Encyclopedia (2004).
Ron Goulart is a cultural historian and novelist. Besides writing extensively about pulp fiction—including the seminal Cheap Thrills: An Informal History of Pulp Magazines (1972)—Goulart has written for the pulps since 1952, when the Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction published his first story, a sci-fi parody of letters to the editor. Since then he has written dozens of novels and countless short stories, spanning genres and using a variety of pennames, including Kenneth Robeson, Joseph Silva, and Con Steffanson. In the 1990s, he became the ghostwriter for William Shatner’s popular TekWar novels. Goulart’s After Things Fell Apart (1970) is the only science-fiction novel to ever win an Edgar Award.
In the 1970s Goulart wrote novels starring series characters like Flash Gordon and the Phantom, and in 1980 he published Hail Hibbler, a comic sci-fi novel that began the Odd Jobs, Inc. series. Goulart has also written several comic mystery series, including six books starring Groucho Marx. Having written for comic books, Goulart produced several histories of the art form, including the Comic Book Encyclopedia (2004).
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
January 3, 2021
This is another fast-paced, zany adventure from the amazingly prolific Ron Goulart. It follows the same basic premise and formula as many of his previous books, but he keeps the chuckles and smirks coming so swiftly that it's hard to notice unless you stop and really think about it. John Wesley Sand of Soldiers of Fortune, Inc., braves "slavers, space pirates, welfs, mewts, madmen, psychotic cyborgs, lunatics at large, brokedown andies, lycanthropes, alfies, senile servos, zombies, the dregs of every other planet in the universe" on his quest to locate the missing heiress in the Hellquad. Typical Goulart, in other words, this time with a swell cover from Frank Kelly Freas.
September 9, 2021
I picked this up in a used bookstore because I liked the cover, and it might be the first real dime novel I have ever read. Quirky, weird, creative and reminiscent of Hitchicker's Guide meets noir detective world. I am not fascinated with Thai author who wrote 180 books covering a range of topics. It isn't a great book, but it gets 4 stars for just being a fun read.
May 10, 2015
What can I say. Either you like Goulart's Goulash of characters, clever ideas along the way, and fast moving plot enough to overlook the somewhat cardboard characterizations and simplicity of story line, or you don't. I find them a great quick read certain to amuse me with their light entertainment.
July 3, 2009
See my review of "Wildsmith".
May 7, 2019
This was my introduction to the works of Ron Goulart back when it first came out in 1984, at which time I was very much in the market for humorous SF/F (Hitchhiker’s Guide, Xanth, Robert Lynn Asprin’s Myth series, etc). Based on the jacket blurb, I assumed at the time he was well-known as an SF comedy writer, though as it turns out I have yet to meet anyone who has even heard of him, let alone read him. (Life lesson: book jacket blurbs are not to be trusted.) Anyway, I liked it enough then to pursue whatever of his books I could find in libraries and second-hand bookshops, and now we’ve come full circle with me re-reading this to see what grabbed me the first time.
This follows the usual Goulart template – mercenary hero (this time it’s John Wesley Sand of Soldiers of Fortune Inc, accompanied by weaponized snooty android butler Munson) is hired to take on a job (in this case, locate Julia Brandywine, the missing daughter of two executed spies who have been resurrected after their verdict was reversed) and meets a lot of weird, eccentric and gabby humans, catmen, lizardmen and rival mercenaries as he follows the lead provided in each scene. The Hellquad in question is a system of four planets generally agreed to be the worst planets in the galaxy, which is also where Julia was last seen alive.
I liked it in 1984, and I like it now, for more or less the same reason – it’s not so much the story (though this one is decent) as the strange characters, their speech mannerisms (“Zappo!” “Double rosco!” “Hoy!”) and the general cadence of Goulart’s writing style, which is so minimal he makes Elmore Leonard seem wordy, yet it generally works for me. This may not be his best book, and there may be better intros to his work than this, but clearly it was good enough to get me started. I have no regrets and the re-readings shall continue.
This follows the usual Goulart template – mercenary hero (this time it’s John Wesley Sand of Soldiers of Fortune Inc, accompanied by weaponized snooty android butler Munson) is hired to take on a job (in this case, locate Julia Brandywine, the missing daughter of two executed spies who have been resurrected after their verdict was reversed) and meets a lot of weird, eccentric and gabby humans, catmen, lizardmen and rival mercenaries as he follows the lead provided in each scene. The Hellquad in question is a system of four planets generally agreed to be the worst planets in the galaxy, which is also where Julia was last seen alive.
I liked it in 1984, and I like it now, for more or less the same reason – it’s not so much the story (though this one is decent) as the strange characters, their speech mannerisms (“Zappo!” “Double rosco!” “Hoy!”) and the general cadence of Goulart’s writing style, which is so minimal he makes Elmore Leonard seem wordy, yet it generally works for me. This may not be his best book, and there may be better intros to his work than this, but clearly it was good enough to get me started. I have no regrets and the re-readings shall continue.
May 31, 2018
Classic Goulart parody.
July 8, 2024
A rather fun Sci-Fi story that was fast paced, quite humorous, and a super quick read (being it was only about 158 pages).
December 7, 2015
Ron Goulart is always fun. I enjoy this trio of detectives.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews