The red man turns to green: an assortment of short stories

by Dickson Telfer

When the red man turns to green, walk yourself into a world where killing a spider triggers vivid flashbacks; where unrequited love is never forgotten; where a shopping trip to Asda is a form of counselling; where filming for YouTube leads to more than mere voyeurism; where the sheep are very often blue; and where tea is the answer. In this enigmatic debut collection, Dickson Telfer plunges his characters into profound and occasionally unsettling situations and watches them stew, fumble, thrive and flourish. Quirky, funny and alternative, his observations on everyday life make this collection eminently enjoyable.

224 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 3, 2013

Reviews

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have met Dickson Telfer in his day job and, to be honest, despite getting some great advice from him, I can't say I particularly warmed to him as a person, finding him a tad, erm, arrogant. I also don't like short stories, as a rule.

So why have I given four stars, based on this unpromising intro? Because it's really, really good. And an absolute steal on Amazon at the time of writing. It is very current, with lots of references to facebook, iPhones, YouTube and the like, which makes me wonder how well it'll age, but it fits the style of the stories well, with some nice gentle satire:

You look at your mobile and read on facebook that John has finished painting the hall skirting, Ricky has gone running and Claire was all set to make apple crumble until she realised she didn't have any apples lol.

There was an element of "Ewwww..." to the sex scenes, as I imagine there would be to anyone who knew an author outside of their books. Indeed, the first question my friend (who also knows Telfer) asked when I told her what I was reading was, "So are there any sex scenes in it?". Not too many, thankfully.

However, there was so much about it that I loved: a story about Asda snobbery; a paragraph written from the POV of gin; a wonderful metaphor about cake mixture tasting better than the baked cake applied to unconsummated relationships. And I'm pretty sure Telfer has met my dad, based on this:

Dad sat on his recliner armchair next to a table piled high with books. Radio 2 could be heard at a low volume and the television was on but muted. [...] "Struggling to decide between reading, watching TV and listening to the radio, Dad?" I asked cheekily. "What can I say, I just like to keep my options open," he replied with a smile.

And for all the stories that just made me go, "Eh...?", there were many more that were twisted, funny, occasionally just plain sweet. The last one in the collection 'Martha Delgado's Little Green Pill' will stick with me for a long time. I look forward to finding out if Telfer can translate his energy into a full-length novel.

"And I came to the conclusion that the key to happiness is simple. All I have to do is live somewhere that isn't full of fucking morons."

[Emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book reads like something you would write in a high school English class and to be honest, I have read better from a high school English class.

The stories are all little snippets of various people's lives but they are either the wrong snippet and ended at the worst moment or really boring. I get that they are supposed to be real stories that real people could be doing right now but they are not done in the right way.

ALSO, Dickson Telfer, listen to me, SHOW DO NOT TELL. I am guessing you perfect reading audience is above 13 so why are you doing this?

There was strange formatting that was not enjoyable for the most part and put in random places.

Even though this is about £2 on amazon.co.uk, do not waste your money.

[Vicki Jarrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I find refreshing about the stories in Telfer’s first collection, is their complete lack of literary pretension. Telfer isn’t trying to be clever or show off how cutting edge he can be. He’s interested in telling stories to entertain. His style is completely accessible and direct. The everyday lives of his characters are peeled back to expose the turmoil, heartache, secret joys and despairs that we all harbour. If you like dark humour, with a healthy dash of the surreal, then this book will do you nicely.

[Jody Nicholson · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are a few good stories amongst the drivel!

[Thomas Welsh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great little vignettes of everyday life that are strange and melancholic and haunting. I found my mind drifting back to these stories long after I read them. A great collection.