What do you think?
Rate this book
How Ready Are You For Love?: A path to more fulfilling and joyful relationships
A guided questionnaire to help understand ourselves and our romantic relationships more clearly .
Most questionnaires are happy to be a bit of fun; this one sets out to be both entertaining and, more importantly, useful – offering us nothing less than a guide to the comforting and supportive relationships we long for. Through a series of pertinent questions, it reveals our distinctive style of loving, what our strengths and weaknesses are with partners and how we might secure genuine fulfillment going forward. As we work through the questionnaire and its accompanying essays, we discover the many reasons why relationships go wrong – and how they might do so far less often in the future. The book considers the role of self-hatred, the influence of childhood, the importance of vulnerability, the appeal of unavailable people and the best way to overcome patterns of self-doubt and unhealthy attachment. Our minds are such confusing places, even the most thoughtful among us can fail to know central things about how we behave in relationships. This questionnaire will help us to understand ourselves more clearly – and so set us free to discover the love we deserve.
Most questionnaires are happy to be a bit of fun; this one sets out to be both entertaining and, more importantly, useful – offering us nothing less than a guide to the comforting and supportive relationships we long for. Through a series of pertinent questions, it reveals our distinctive style of loving, what our strengths and weaknesses are with partners and how we might secure genuine fulfillment going forward. As we work through the questionnaire and its accompanying essays, we discover the many reasons why relationships go wrong – and how they might do so far less often in the future. The book considers the role of self-hatred, the influence of childhood, the importance of vulnerability, the appeal of unavailable people and the best way to overcome patterns of self-doubt and unhealthy attachment. Our minds are such confusing places, even the most thoughtful among us can fail to know central things about how we behave in relationships. This questionnaire will help us to understand ourselves more clearly – and so set us free to discover the love we deserve.
152 pages, Paperback
Published April 9, 2024
33 people are currently reading
215 people want to read
About the author
The School of Life
173 books3,129 followersThe School of Life is a global organisation helping people lead more fulfilled lives.
We believe that the journey to finding fulfilment begins with self-knowledge. It is only when we have a sense of who we really are that we can make reliable decisions, particularly around love and work.
Sadly, tools and techniques for developing self-knowledge and finding fulfilment are hard to find – they’re not taught in schools, in universities, or in workplaces. Too many of us go through life without ever really understanding what’s going on in the recesses of our minds.
That’s why we created The School of Life; a resource for helping us understand ourselves, for improving our relationships, our careers and our social lives - as well as for helping us find calm and get more out of our leisure hours. We do this through films, workshops, books and gifts - as well as through a warm and supportive community.
We believe that the journey to finding fulfilment begins with self-knowledge. It is only when we have a sense of who we really are that we can make reliable decisions, particularly around love and work.
Sadly, tools and techniques for developing self-knowledge and finding fulfilment are hard to find – they’re not taught in schools, in universities, or in workplaces. Too many of us go through life without ever really understanding what’s going on in the recesses of our minds.
That’s why we created The School of Life; a resource for helping us understand ourselves, for improving our relationships, our careers and our social lives - as well as for helping us find calm and get more out of our leisure hours. We do this through films, workshops, books and gifts - as well as through a warm and supportive community.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
November 17, 2023
Thank you, The School of Life, for the advance reading copy.
I like the presentation and the questions/explanations given in the book. However, why are the options for each question limited to two? I know what we need to know is given on the next page as a general explanation for each question.
Well, the questions will help the reader reflect even without the options I feel.
Quite insightful and helpful I would say if we want to explore what might be the reasons we are not ready for relationships.
I like the presentation and the questions/explanations given in the book. However, why are the options for each question limited to two? I know what we need to know is given on the next page as a general explanation for each question.
Well, the questions will help the reader reflect even without the options I feel.
Quite insightful and helpful I would say if we want to explore what might be the reasons we are not ready for relationships.
March 1, 2024
This book felt like a psychotherapy. Evaluating ourselves upon love truly could make us realise a lot about who we are to the core. Every question this book has had brought me countless realisation and insight about myself and my life in general.
A truly helpful book although I felt personally attacked in some parts of its brutally honest explanations 🙃
Highly recommended for those who’d love to know more about oneself to achieve a soul-fulfilling love relationship 💯
Read this if: You love The School of Life books, you’re in the hunt of love and/or you want to learn deeper about yourself.
🌟5/5
A truly helpful book although I felt personally attacked in some parts of its brutally honest explanations 🙃
Highly recommended for those who’d love to know more about oneself to achieve a soul-fulfilling love relationship 💯
Read this if: You love The School of Life books, you’re in the hunt of love and/or you want to learn deeper about yourself.
🌟5/5
October 19, 2025
This book is an interesting concept — essentially a questionnaire designed to determine how ready one is for love. On the one hand, I have to admit I was hoping for a bit more: more instruction, more guidance, more of a concrete path toward emotional stability and readiness for love. But that’s really expecting the book to be something it isn’t trying to be — an unfair standard of judgment in hindsight.
The questionnaire itself is done in a very thoughtful way. It’s not the kind of quiz where you try to guess what the “right” answer is. It’s clear from the start which of the two options represents the more “emotionally healthy” stance and which one points to a problematic pattern — A is always the problematic one, B the healthy one. The point isn’t to test you but to let you notice your inclinations.
Sometimes the options feel a bit off, even when you tend towards the healthier option, it might feel too radical for you. But it’s precisely about sensing towards which answer you are leaning towards, and what that says about your emotional reflexes - the answers aren't meant to be perfect solutions or instructions, and it's okay if they don't feel right for you. They are just a kind of prompt for your intuition.
After each section, you get a short essay in the classic School of Life style — reflective, elegantly written, and psychologically grounded. These explain why each topic matters for emotional maturity and how certain attitudes might either support or hinder our ability to build fulfilling relationships. The book makes a good point that most of us carry some emotional baggage from childhood or past experiences that distorts our intuitions and quietly sabotages intimacy — and it addresses that with characteristic empathy.
In the end, I actually came to appreciate the book’s minimalism. While part of me wished it offered more instruction, there’s also something fitting about its simplicity. Maybe that’s the point — no book can give us all the answers.
For now, I’m giving it three stars. It wasn’t life-changing, and it didn’t shake me as much as I might have hoped, but I think the real test of its value will come later — when I read it again together with a potential partner. I have a feeling that in that context, it could turn into something much more meaningful, maybe even deserving of those extra stars.
The questionnaire itself is done in a very thoughtful way. It’s not the kind of quiz where you try to guess what the “right” answer is. It’s clear from the start which of the two options represents the more “emotionally healthy” stance and which one points to a problematic pattern — A is always the problematic one, B the healthy one. The point isn’t to test you but to let you notice your inclinations.
Sometimes the options feel a bit off, even when you tend towards the healthier option, it might feel too radical for you. But it’s precisely about sensing towards which answer you are leaning towards, and what that says about your emotional reflexes - the answers aren't meant to be perfect solutions or instructions, and it's okay if they don't feel right for you. They are just a kind of prompt for your intuition.
After each section, you get a short essay in the classic School of Life style — reflective, elegantly written, and psychologically grounded. These explain why each topic matters for emotional maturity and how certain attitudes might either support or hinder our ability to build fulfilling relationships. The book makes a good point that most of us carry some emotional baggage from childhood or past experiences that distorts our intuitions and quietly sabotages intimacy — and it addresses that with characteristic empathy.
In the end, I actually came to appreciate the book’s minimalism. While part of me wished it offered more instruction, there’s also something fitting about its simplicity. Maybe that’s the point — no book can give us all the answers.
For now, I’m giving it three stars. It wasn’t life-changing, and it didn’t shake me as much as I might have hoped, but I think the real test of its value will come later — when I read it again together with a potential partner. I have a feeling that in that context, it could turn into something much more meaningful, maybe even deserving of those extra stars.
July 19, 2025
saw it in a stationary store in melb central a few weeks ago, forgot about it, and then suddenly thought of it when i was listening to a podcast of a similar theme, so then i read it online.
was an easy read and like workbook style. sort of reinforces the things we fundamentally know but has quite a lot of nice quotes that i’ve underlined and like to take to heart.
would’ve been better if there was some research or something, and the answers were so contrasting which made it so obvious what was the ‘right one’.
was an easy read and like workbook style. sort of reinforces the things we fundamentally know but has quite a lot of nice quotes that i’ve underlined and like to take to heart.
would’ve been better if there was some research or something, and the answers were so contrasting which made it so obvious what was the ‘right one’.
April 12, 2024
"The School of Life: How Ready Are You For Love" offers a deep dive into the complexities of love, relationships, and self-understanding. The author suggests that most issues in our love lives stem from a simple yet significant problem: a lack of self-knowledge. It provides a thought-provoking examination of the complexities of love and our own emotional pitfalls, making it a valuable read for anyone seeking deeper self-knowledge and more meaningful relationships. We choose incompatible partners, misjudge our needs, fail to recognize our resentment-inducing behaviors, and struggle to decide whether to stay or leave when faced with difficulties because we don't fully understand ourselves.
The book also addresses the emotional pitfalls of incessantly pinning our hopes on strangers and seeking perfection. The intensity of such enthusiasm, while touching, reveals a disloyalty towards some unalterable truths about human nature.
The book provides invaluable insights on how to make a relationship work, emphasizing the importance of three key elements: Kindness, Vulnerability, and Understanding. Kindness is described as the energy to soothe the sufferings of those close to us. Vulnerability is shedding the temptations of defensiveness or aloofness. Understanding is overcoming love's inevitable obstacles and tensions through constant dialogue driven by curiosity and mental openness.
We need a companion who will be there for us during our lows, someone we can trust with our insecurities and uncertainties - a person around whom we don't have to pretend to be always fine or normal.
We often convince ourselves that real love means renouncing all attractions towards others for the rest of our lives. Even the slightest wandering thought or a fleeting desire, or any intimate fantasy not involving our partner - we consider these as severe transgressions and indications of a doomed relationship.
Our compassionate lover is not ignorant; they might have discovered something about us that we are yet to accept: that we deserve abundant kindness and respect.
Despite its many insights, the book does have its drawbacks. It presents a series of questions with contrasting answers, leaving little room for a grey area and possibly leading readers to feel pressured into choosing one side. Furthermore, the book's teachings did not provide me with as many new insights as I would have liked. Despite its title, there is no literal 'school' as such, but the experiences of individuals are examined and used to infer important principles for living which some readers may find off-putting.
However, the book shines in its reminder of the importance of having a better relationship with ourselves. This core message serves as a beacon, guiding readers towards better self-understanding and, in turn, healthier relationships.
The book also addresses the emotional pitfalls of incessantly pinning our hopes on strangers and seeking perfection. The intensity of such enthusiasm, while touching, reveals a disloyalty towards some unalterable truths about human nature.
The book provides invaluable insights on how to make a relationship work, emphasizing the importance of three key elements: Kindness, Vulnerability, and Understanding. Kindness is described as the energy to soothe the sufferings of those close to us. Vulnerability is shedding the temptations of defensiveness or aloofness. Understanding is overcoming love's inevitable obstacles and tensions through constant dialogue driven by curiosity and mental openness.
We need a companion who will be there for us during our lows, someone we can trust with our insecurities and uncertainties - a person around whom we don't have to pretend to be always fine or normal.
We often convince ourselves that real love means renouncing all attractions towards others for the rest of our lives. Even the slightest wandering thought or a fleeting desire, or any intimate fantasy not involving our partner - we consider these as severe transgressions and indications of a doomed relationship.
Our compassionate lover is not ignorant; they might have discovered something about us that we are yet to accept: that we deserve abundant kindness and respect.
Despite its many insights, the book does have its drawbacks. It presents a series of questions with contrasting answers, leaving little room for a grey area and possibly leading readers to feel pressured into choosing one side. Furthermore, the book's teachings did not provide me with as many new insights as I would have liked. Despite its title, there is no literal 'school' as such, but the experiences of individuals are examined and used to infer important principles for living which some readers may find off-putting.
However, the book shines in its reminder of the importance of having a better relationship with ourselves. This core message serves as a beacon, guiding readers towards better self-understanding and, in turn, healthier relationships.
January 18, 2024
An engaging, insightful way of presenting the short essays about love/life/relationships [delete as appropriate] aimed at everyone. The "answers" feel like an introduction to a wider discussion, or more in-depth books rather than the final product, and I did find the options a bit confining at two answers per question, but the analysis was always incredibly astute.
School of Life never fails.
'Love is a skill, not an emotion - and one we seldom receive systematic instruction in.'
'[W]e may all have become easier to meet, but we are not, perhaps, any easier to love.'
'We need, too, distractions, journeys, favourite cafés, very elderly and very young acquaintances, political interests, artistic curiosities, household chores, ideally a small garden or a flower box - and, of course, an imaginatively stocked library.'
Thanks to Netgalley for the opportunity to read an ARC of this title.
School of Life never fails.
'Love is a skill, not an emotion - and one we seldom receive systematic instruction in.'
'[W]e may all have become easier to meet, but we are not, perhaps, any easier to love.'
'We need, too, distractions, journeys, favourite cafés, very elderly and very young acquaintances, political interests, artistic curiosities, household chores, ideally a small garden or a flower box - and, of course, an imaginatively stocked library.'
Thanks to Netgalley for the opportunity to read an ARC of this title.
February 29, 2024
This book is an interesting reminder about how healthy love relationships work in the form of a questionnaire with an explanation and an observation about each topic and side of relationships. Some parts lightly nuge to visit a therapist to figure out some things, and it's a good thing, as, from personal experience, some mindsets seem to be set in stone until you realize with professional help that they are not.
The only thing I would recommend to readers is: don't think twice and go with the answer to each question that felt close to home the first time, as there is no reason to lie to ourselves.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
The only thing I would recommend to readers is: don't think twice and go with the answer to each question that felt close to home the first time, as there is no reason to lie to ourselves.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
January 27, 2024
A very short read that looks at different aspects of love, from dating to conflict to closeness within a relationship. It is formatted in the style of a questionnaire, with an explanation about each question. Although I liked the style, there were only two options for each question and it was always immediately obvious which one was the 'right' one. I enjoyed the explanations but felt like I didn't learn much new from them.
The physical layout of the book is fantastic though - the colour palette is really cute and I love the thoughtfulness of the flap at the back of the book doubling as a scorecard!
The physical layout of the book is fantastic though - the colour palette is really cute and I love the thoughtfulness of the flap at the back of the book doubling as a scorecard!
February 28, 2024
43 Questions to know how ready are you for love. Always stunning. The School of Life never set what kinds of relationship ideal for us. They showed us how to be properly kind, tender, and have such understanding of human being and also earliest life experiences that creates how we wanted to be loved and what's the impact of our love life now.
Even tho sometimes, it feels like they asked me to be pesimistic but at the other section they asked me to be straightforward. It means alot of things we could peel from just relationship to love ourselves and dive in our childhood. It just makes me take a very deep breath for a moment.
Even tho sometimes, it feels like they asked me to be pesimistic but at the other section they asked me to be straightforward. It means alot of things we could peel from just relationship to love ourselves and dive in our childhood. It just makes me take a very deep breath for a moment.
October 14, 2023
Wow! This book was like a slap on my face. So many hard-hitting realisations. Highlighted a lot. I wish I had read this book way sooner in life. Especially in my early twenties. Definitely a recommended read for single people out there. It was so good that I read the book in a day. The book is also a short read but requires introspection and work in the future.
My personal score of the questionaries was very realistic and the advice made a lot of sense.
Thanks to NetGalley for and The School of Life for letting me read the early edition.
My personal score of the questionaries was very realistic and the advice made a lot of sense.
Thanks to NetGalley for and The School of Life for letting me read the early edition.
January 14, 2024
What was this book?!
I'm left questioning the point of this book. It is formatted as a questionnaire with info around each question and some justifications why you may have answered the questions the way you did.
I didn't get anything from this - it was pretty much common sense- i didn't learn anything about myself or about the theory of relationships at all.
I'm left questioning the point of this book. It is formatted as a questionnaire with info around each question and some justifications why you may have answered the questions the way you did.
I didn't get anything from this - it was pretty much common sense- i didn't learn anything about myself or about the theory of relationships at all.
November 20, 2023
A fascinating book. Many thought-provoking questions are not only about love but also about life. I like the argument for every question. I'm not really looking into the result at the end, rather than that, I enjoy devouring every single question and getting insight for maintaining relationships better.
Thank you, NetGalley and The School of Life for providing digital ARC for honest review.
Thank you, NetGalley and The School of Life for providing digital ARC for honest review.
September 6, 2025
It’s a good and systematic reminder, but many points are common sense. Also if those mentioned are only practiced by one person in a relationship things just can’t work as well. Sometimes it’s hard to act ideally as in the book because the partner might be abusive.
November 6, 2025
The School of Life's books will always be my go-to whenever I needed to dig deeper for self-reflection and seek closure.
I think this one has a unique concept using a questionnaire to figure which one are we and take notes of each of our choices.
I think this one has a unique concept using a questionnaire to figure which one are we and take notes of each of our choices.
February 7, 2024
Very insightful
June 10, 2024
Should be read by all as a reminder on how to be a better partner. Would love to know the score of people I date.
September 1, 2024
Biasa aja bor
February 26, 2025
i felt a bit dumb while reading this book🦭
September 1, 2025
Apparently I am ready for love, but just barely lol. There was some really good thoughts in here!
December 13, 2025
کتابی مناسب برای تقویت بلوغ عاطفی با استفاده از پرسشها
مناسب دو نفره خوندن
مناسب دو نفره خوندن
December 19, 2025
خوندنش خالی از لطف نیست.
اما حقیقتا اونقدری هم متاثرکننده نبود.
اما حقیقتا اونقدری هم متاثرکننده نبود.
January 1, 2025
It's all about self-love and self-knowledge to be ready to fall in love
June 8, 2025
Helps to understand why we struggle with intimacy.
December 20, 2025
a gentle reminder that self-understanding always comes first before love 🤍
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews