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Be Your Shitty Self: An Honest Approach to a More Peaceful Life
Let's face it: we all have a motivating drive to become "better." What we have and who we are never seem to be good enough. This feeling that something is wrong or needs to be fixed causes us to continuously run around, chasing after what we feel will finally fulfill us. But what if these very conditions that we are constantly trying to escape from could be used as a way to awaken ourselves--to connect with the peace already within us? Be Your Shitty Self is a practical guide that will help you uncover and reconnect with your inner peace. Through concepts, exercises, and practical advice, Mark Van Buren explores how meditation and mindfulness can help you realize that who you are is already good enough. No matter how good or bad your life may seem to be, each moment can point you in the direction of peace, compassion, and awakening. Everything you need is already here in this moment. Just as a beautiful lotus flower blooms from the bottom of a murky pond, so too can your true essence shine from the depths of your shitty self.
148 pages, Paperback
First published September 12, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
December 11, 2017
3 and a half, rounded up.
This itty bitty book caught my eye at the used book store. The gutsy title (I love bad words, what can I say?) and the basic idea behind it were very attractive: a thing I have struggled with a lot over the past 8-or-so years of studying Buddhism is that I am still cranky before my morning coffee, I still get annoyed at rude people and I still fantasize about throwing the printer out of the window when it jams. In other words, I'm a regular human being and I've spent a lot of time beating myself up about it. Shouldn't I be be more serene? Shouldn't those irritants just roll off my back? If they don't, it must be because I am doing something wrong in my practice! Right?...
There's a lot of that sort of reasoning going on with people practicing Buddhism (especially with Westerners who grew up in Christian households... something about feeling guilty is just so familiar and easy to slip back into...), and I've often had interesting conversations with people who looked down their nose at me because I have a potty mouth and because I don't really take kindly to bullshit. When my interest in Buddhism comes up, the expectation is that I should be a soft-spoken, mild-mannered vegetarian who lets people in the metro step on my feet and just smiles through the whole thing because, ultimately, we are all One.
Sorry buddy, that's just not me. We might all be One, but if you rear-end me with your shopping cart at the store, you better apologize - because that's what decent human beings do.
Van Buren's book aims to get the reader to realize that there is nothing inherently wrong with how they are, and that making themselves feel guilty for not being perfect all the time is just a distraction from the present moment. And the whole point of a meditation practice is the present moment. Self-improvement is not about perfection because perfection is by definition unattainable! Change is something that occurs naturally if you take time to take a very honest look at yourself and at life.
He uses the teachings of various inspiring sources (from the Buddha himself to fortune cookies, by way of T.S. Elliot and Charles Schultz) to discuss impermanence, karma, compassion and meditation practice.
I liked his analogy for karma as seeds planted by thoughts and actions; just like in a garden, they don't sprout right away and sometimes take a while before you see the results, but once the seed is planted, you have to deal with whatever grows out of it. I liked that he takes time to discuss some common misunderstandings about meditation (nope, this isn't just vegging out!). I liked that he warns readers about becoming a little too enthusiastically involved in their meditation practice and taking themselves too seriously, and that practicing mindfulness and loving-kindness should never ever mean being a doormat.
"Be Your Shitty Self" is a very basic little book, and to be honest, a fairly superficial one. Anyone who has read any book on Buddhism in the past won't learn anything new. And while his approach is fresh and blunt, he doesn't have Brad Warner's panache. But I have to give it to Van Buren: this can be a fine introduction for someone who has no idea what the practice of meditation is and how it can make a significant impact on their lives. A nice, casual resource for beginners!
This itty bitty book caught my eye at the used book store. The gutsy title (I love bad words, what can I say?) and the basic idea behind it were very attractive: a thing I have struggled with a lot over the past 8-or-so years of studying Buddhism is that I am still cranky before my morning coffee, I still get annoyed at rude people and I still fantasize about throwing the printer out of the window when it jams. In other words, I'm a regular human being and I've spent a lot of time beating myself up about it. Shouldn't I be be more serene? Shouldn't those irritants just roll off my back? If they don't, it must be because I am doing something wrong in my practice! Right?...
There's a lot of that sort of reasoning going on with people practicing Buddhism (especially with Westerners who grew up in Christian households... something about feeling guilty is just so familiar and easy to slip back into...), and I've often had interesting conversations with people who looked down their nose at me because I have a potty mouth and because I don't really take kindly to bullshit. When my interest in Buddhism comes up, the expectation is that I should be a soft-spoken, mild-mannered vegetarian who lets people in the metro step on my feet and just smiles through the whole thing because, ultimately, we are all One.
Sorry buddy, that's just not me. We might all be One, but if you rear-end me with your shopping cart at the store, you better apologize - because that's what decent human beings do.
Van Buren's book aims to get the reader to realize that there is nothing inherently wrong with how they are, and that making themselves feel guilty for not being perfect all the time is just a distraction from the present moment. And the whole point of a meditation practice is the present moment. Self-improvement is not about perfection because perfection is by definition unattainable! Change is something that occurs naturally if you take time to take a very honest look at yourself and at life.
He uses the teachings of various inspiring sources (from the Buddha himself to fortune cookies, by way of T.S. Elliot and Charles Schultz) to discuss impermanence, karma, compassion and meditation practice.
I liked his analogy for karma as seeds planted by thoughts and actions; just like in a garden, they don't sprout right away and sometimes take a while before you see the results, but once the seed is planted, you have to deal with whatever grows out of it. I liked that he takes time to discuss some common misunderstandings about meditation (nope, this isn't just vegging out!). I liked that he warns readers about becoming a little too enthusiastically involved in their meditation practice and taking themselves too seriously, and that practicing mindfulness and loving-kindness should never ever mean being a doormat.
"Be Your Shitty Self" is a very basic little book, and to be honest, a fairly superficial one. Anyone who has read any book on Buddhism in the past won't learn anything new. And while his approach is fresh and blunt, he doesn't have Brad Warner's panache. But I have to give it to Van Buren: this can be a fine introduction for someone who has no idea what the practice of meditation is and how it can make a significant impact on their lives. A nice, casual resource for beginners!
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April 25, 2022This accessible, gentle little book was my bedside stand book all month. I would read a chapter or two to contemplate as I fell asleep each night.
January 17, 2025
Little book of wisdom. Good one to read whenever you need to go back to basis and sit in stillness and truth.
Has been very helpful and I'm happy I get what the author means.
Has been very helpful and I'm happy I get what the author means.
July 8, 2015
Yeah Dumont! Great book Mark.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews