Scattered, Smothered, & Chunked

Bubba the Monster Hunter Seasons #1

by John G. Hartness

He's big, he's bad and he's here to save the day. From the author of The Black Knight Chronicles comes a new series of supernatural comedy with a Johnny Cash soundtrack and a Kevin Smith twist.
Meet Bubba the Monster Hunter, a 6'5" 340-pound hero for the working man. If it goes bump in the night, Bubba'll kill it. Vampires, Zombies, Ghouls, Werewolves, Ghosts, Witches, Warlocks, whatever. If it can be shot, he'll shoot it. If it can be hit, he'll hit it. And if there's a payday involved, he's on the case.
This book is a collection of the first 10 novellas:

Voodoo Children
In this first Bubba the Monster Hunter story, everybody's favorite redneck is chasing zombies through the hills of Tennessee. Follow Bubba through beer joints, strip clubs and graveyards as he and his best helper Bertha (a .50 Desert Eagle Pistol) make sure that what's dead, stays dead.

Ballet of Blood
Bubba has to investigate a mysterious touring dance troupe that of course turns out to be more than he expected.
Bubba, backed up as always by the hilarious Skeeter, has to make do with his wits and what weapons he can find backstage at a theatre to get out of his most dangerous adventure yet.

Ho-Ho Homicide
Bubba's back and this time he's in costume! Everybody’s favorite redneck monster hunter goes undercover as a mall Santa to get to the bottom of a series of mysterious murders. Along the way he encounters snotty kids, annoying mothers, a smokin' hot elf, the spirit of Christmas and a tribe of fairies that would rather make war than toys!

Tassels of Terror
Bubba's back, and this time it's personal! A mysterious fire destroyed a topless club in South Carolina, and Bubba must get to the bottom of the mystery and rescue a missing stripper before more bloodshed ensues. A timeless story of love and pole dancers by the author of Voodoo Children and Ho-Ho-Homicide.

Cat Scratch Fever
Bubba the Monster Hunter returns in a love story for the ages! Okay, not really. But there are big guns, bar fights, cheap women, cheaper beer, even cheaper one-liners, and a six-foot tiger taking a leak on a headstone. No really, that last part happened.

Love Stinks
Bubba's back! There's a cupid on the loose in a nursing home, and he's wreaking havoc with broken hips, high blood pressure and horny octogenarians! Can Bubba and his pistol-packing nun sidekick save the day before the cupid plants a magic arrow in our favorite Monster Hunter?

Hall & Goats
Bubba's back, and this time he's chasing a creature he can't even pronounce! A mysterious creature called a chupacabra is attacking livestock in Florida, and Bubba's on the case! But there's someone else investigating this chimichanga, too! Who is it? Is she hot? Will Bubba get her naked before the story is over? And what the hell is Bubba doing hunting chalupas in a dry county?

Footloose
Bubba's back, and this one is as bad as it gets! Bubba's on the trail of a bigfoot in the Virginia mountains, and he learns more than he bargained for on this mission! Agent Amy Hall is back, too, and Bubba's not sure if that's a good thing or not. One thing he is sure of - there's a monster loose in them there hills, and he's the biggest, baddest monster hunter around!

Sixteen Tons
Bubba's back and he's another day older and deeper in debt! Well, not really, but he's butt-deep in goblins and running low on bullets! Little green monsters have climbed out of a coal mine in West Virginia, and Bubba's here to save the day.

Family Tradition
THIS is the story Bubba fans have been waiting for!
How did Bubba become a monster hunter?
What happened to his father?
What will he and Agent Amy have to deal with when they find him?

Join Bubba, Skeeter, Bertha and a lot more of the Bubba clan as we go deep into the past of everybody's favorite XXXL-sized monster hunter. Plenty of action, booze and bloody fighting in this prelude to the Bubba the Monster Hunter series.

Final Countdown
In the startling climax to Bubba the Monster Hunter Season 1, Bubba returns home to take care of some unfinished business and rescue Uncle Father Joe from Bubba's psychotic father.

Genres: Fantasy, Urban Fantasy, Humor, Horror, Audiobook, Zombies, Paranormal

314 pages, Paperback

First published November 11, 2012

About the author

John G. Hartness is a teller of tales, a righter of wrong, defender of ladies’ virtues, and some people call him Maurice, for he speaks of the pompatus of love.

He is also the award-winning author of the urban fantasy series The Black Knight Chronicles (Bell Bridge Books), the Bubba the Monster Hunter comedic horror series, the Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter dark fantasy series, and many other projects.

In 2016, John teamed up with a pair of other publishing industry ne’er-do-wells and founded Falstaff Books, a small press dedicated to publishing the best of genre fictions “misfit toys.”
In his copious free time John enjoys long walks on the beach, rescuing kittens from trees and playing Magic: the Gathering.

For free short stories and to follow his activities and appearances on his newsletter, follow this link - http://eepurl.com/fV4In

Reviews

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a 4.5 star read.

I love this humorous urban fantasy collection featuring Bubba the Redneck Monster Hunter. Along with some great short stories the book concludes with a riveting novella that does end in a cliffhanger, but a good one. It certainly leaves you hankering for more! Bullets, boobies, moonshine and mayhem what more could you want?

[C.T. Phipps · Rating 5 out of 5]

BUBBA THE MONSTER HUNTER: SCATTERED, SMOTHERED, AND CHUNKED is a fun book that consists of a series of interrelated short stories about a redneck monster hunter working for the Catholic Church with his gay black best friend Skeeter. They scour the backwoods of Kentucky, West Virginia, South Carolina, and other states for everything ranging from ballet dancing vampires to pixies.

Bubba is a crass good old boy who never met a strip club he didn't like and wants nothing more than to enjoy his next beer before it's interrupted by the next unpleasant varmit killing people. This is a funny book series and I enjoy it the same way I enjoy the TOME OF BILL series by Rick Gualtieri. It's a guilty pleasure and yet something I fully intend to finish up by reading one after the other. I'm not sure what to say about the books other than they're crass, fun, and hilarious. Bubba just has an Bruce Campbell-esque amount of humor to it and that's all it really aspires to be (which isn't bad).

Groovy.

9/10

[Tracie Lester · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this redneck series. Plenty of laughs through the whole series.

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun, fun, fun.

[Tracey Mcd · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the current US political and social environment, sometimes you just need escapist fiction.

[Darren Pearce · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was entertaining story telling. If they could turn this into a TV series it would be well worth watching and better than 95% of what is on air now. Enjoying the 2nd collection already.

[Steven Latta · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection of short stories turned out to be far more fun than I expected it to be. Full disclosure, the author and I attended college together. We weren't really friends, but we knew each other and we had friends in common. So, it was with a little bit of surprise that when I started buying Robert Bevan's books, John's books started showing up in my recommendations. I mean, how likely was it that I'd know a writer Amazon was recommending to me? Anyway, after getting hooked on the Authors and Dragons podcast, which John is part and whose sense of humor I was enjoying there, I decided to pick up the first book in a couple of his series and give them a try.

"Scattered, Smothered and Chunked" is a collection of short stories about Bubba, a 350-ish pound redneck who hunts monsters for the Catholic church. When he's not hanging out in strip clubs. Ok, sometimes while he's hanging out in strip clubs. One thing Bubba has going for him is he's a very likable character. The supporting cast is fun too, but John writes Bubba as the kind of person who most every character in the book can't help but like, and it's contagious to the reader, at least to me. The individual stories are very Supernatural-ish, with the first few sending Bubba off against a variety of fantastic beasties. Over the course of the collection, though, it definitely becomes more personal and more about family, the ones we have by blood and the ones we choose.

While many of the stories are short, the fact there is an overreaching story arc behind them helps tie them into a cohesive whole. It's not quite the level of creativity of a Dresden Files novel, but this book does scratch a similar itch. The only real negative I have to say about it is in regards to the female characters. I've already said that Bubba is written to be really likable, and that's overly true of a couple of the women in the stories, where it escalates to the point of absurdity given how brief a span of time the stories cover. Not that Bubba actually manages to score with any of them, but the level of flirtation makes the ladies seem less like developed characters and more like caricatures, especially the FBI agent. Dana Sculley she isn't.

So aside from that quibble, and to me is a quibble given the short story structure, this was a really fun book to read. I'd expect better character development if this had been a novel. There are two more collections of Bubba stories available now, so hopefully the situation will improve itself in the later books. Then again, John leans pretty heavily into the 350 pound redneck cliche with Bubba, so who knows?

[Wayland Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

The subtitle-- Bubba the Monster Hunter-- makes this sort of sound like a one trick pony, some redneck version of Buffy. It's really, really not. Bubba is, as he sounds, a good ol' boy who hunts down monsters in the American South. He has some of the stereotypical traits from that: he likes his guns (although they're not his major topic of conversation), he drinks a lot, and he's very fond of strip clubs. On the other hand, his best friend/dispatcher is a gay black man (Skeeter), Bubba is driven by the need to protect people, and even spares some of the "monsters" that aren't all that monstrous. There are also a lot of pop culture/geek references that are not at all mocking, like D&D, Batman (even Oracle), and a lot of Twilight references (ok, those are mocking). Bubba and Skeeter are the off the books but official Monster Hunters in their region for the Catholic church.

Hartness pulls off some clever things in here, like a great reflection on how belief works with magical creatures, which leads Bubba to thank Charlaine Harris (it makes perfect sense in side the story). In this collection of short stories, there's a troop of vampiric ballet dancers, a bizarre voodoo houngan, some really nasty werewolves, goblins, trolls, and even a bigfoot. There are also some great lines, funny moments, and a gradual reveal of Bubba's backstory as we learn why he's this way.

My only complaint at all is that the book needed one more pass at the editor's. There are some typos and such here and there. It's a very entertaining collection of short stories, with a longer one at the back. Highly recommended for fans of modern (Bubba sure ain't urban) fantasy with a sense of humor. I enjoyed this a lot and will be buying the next collection.

[Bonnie Dale Keck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kindle Unlimited Going through the entire Bubba the Monster Hunter collections and not sure if the boy is on drugs or should be...but he makes real interesting reading...and a little wonder if his mama dropped him on his head, hard, repeatedly, on purpose, bless his heart.But John G be sure to tell Bubba if he's ever back down this way to holler;I bet that boy is more fun than wrasslin' a pig...a supernatural no bitey one of course. P.S. Come on down, and we'll shoot or set something on fire, darlin'.

Started reading single Family Tradition in own book and worked way thru Season 1 then stopped when got to Prequel Family Tradition skipping to bonus Black Knight Chronicles short story.

Family Tradition - A Bubba the Monster Hunter Prequel
Scattered, Smothered and Chunked - Bubba the Monster Hunter Season 1
**Voodoo Children, Ballet of Blood, Ho-Ho-Homicide, Tassels of Terror, Cat Scratch Fever, Love Stinks, Hall & Goats, Footloose, Sixteens Tons, **Family Tradition PREQUEL** Final Countdown
Grits, Guns & Glory - Bubba the Monster Hunter Season 2
Wine, Women, & Song: Bubba the Monster Hunter Season 3

Books are available in above ways/sets as well as individually and in other types of collections from this writer.

[Justin Sylvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Now, first off I know in some descriptions, they say this book is like Larry The Cable Guy meets The Ash From Army Of Darkness. Honestly, I can sort of see where they were going with it, but to me, Robert or rather Bubba’s voice reminds of the 2 brother’s who run Duck Commander.. Jase & Willie. I wasn’t sure what to think at first, but overall it wasn’t a horrible book, and I’ll probably go back & knock out the rest of them in time. The chapters definitely felt like they could of been made into episodic shows from a unique tv show, which was kind of nice, since each chapter was a different monster from ballet dancers that had been turned into vampires, goblins & trolls running amok in a small town, a vegan clan of vampires, who were mistaken for a chupacabra, when all they really were in Florida for was a trip to the Magic Kingdom, there are a few more, but hopefully you get the gist. Time will tell what books 2 & beyond reveal to me.

[Cloak88 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Popcorn-fun with killing vampires and other weird things. 3.5 stars

Bubba is your not that average XXXL gun-toting redneck monsterhunter for the catholic church. That basically sums him up. A collection of foul language, guns, bad puns and copious amounts of bad humour mixed in with a good natured feel and an episodic structure.

Bubba season 1 is a collection of short stories about Bubba going somewhere, Bubba meeting some strange sh*t, some bad one-liners and him killing some monsters. Clean simple and somewhat repetitive. That is until the second part when things move a bit forward. Some depth is added and Bubba becomes a more that a just a collection of weird attributes.

Overall this novel presents a fun bit of entertainment without any word-ending, angsty plotlinse to deal with.

[Phillip Murrell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Strong and weak, but ultimately cliche

I wanted to like this more. The premise is sound. Fund's voice is perfect. The banter, humor, and actions too shelf. Too bad it is formulaic and full of plot armor. The monsters are always weak enough for Bubba to go 593-59-593 with them. There is also repetition about character descriptions because the early stories were monster of the week standalones. I remember Buba is 6'4" (except we he claims he's 6'5" . Why can't Bubba remember his own height?). This had eleven novellas. Two 5-star, two 4-star, four 3-star, and three (including a cliff hanger finale) 2-star entries. Taken together, an enjoyable COVID distraction, but not a series that I'll continue.

[J.M. Horn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nothing like monster hunting in the South.

Hartness has a way with words and humor which makes it a breeze through this action packed book.,

Enjoyed some of the reference along with seeing the relationships between Bubba and Skeeter.

The only negative to this approach was a few repetitive things bleeding over form the prior stories.

Mainly this is due to how the book is constructed. It feels like the first half is short stories followed up by a novella at the end.

As a result, the first series of chapters, we are continually told/shown how tall, etc he is. This was nothing to force me to put the book down, just more of a minor annoyance.

Overall it is an entertaining read and worth picking up.

[Chad Dennis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worth a read.

I don't get too hung up on a few typos, but if you do, this isn't the book for you. I'm smart enough to add the missing letter here and there and roll on without skipping a beat. Storytelling is what I focus on, and this is enjoyable. It's not laugh out loud funny like some reviews say, but I did crack a smile quite often. You can't help but root for Bubba! Stereotypes embraced? Yep! Tongue in cheek humor? Yep! Interesting characters and monsters? Check! As I said, Fun! Going to download book 2. (Hope this helps you get another unicorn!)

[Deacon Gray · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have seen writers take this approach to development of their stories, but I never cared for it. The humor elicits a slight up turn of the corner of one side of the mouth, the action is fair, and the main character is a bad stereotype. And yet.... I went ahead and read book two, and three.

Hartness, has done what a lot of new writers have done, put on display work that isn't very good, or refined. However, he has managed to build something from that mistake that more talented writers cannot boast. He has gotten a fan base, and developed exceptionally well over time.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

just weird but contagious

I’m relatively new to John hartness but have thoroughly enjoyed these bizarre characters. And they have had large character development between the pages and the stories. They can be read in any order but certainly from the beginning is clarifying. I will read every one as I am fascinated in A southern gothic creepy sort of way. A series for adult fantasy, probably large target male audience but worked well on a northern Anglo Saxon middle age female,

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection of Bubba short stories highlights the most laugh out loud characters out to eliminate the bad guy supernaturals in the American South. Kind of a parody/farce/satire that is populated by creatures you know from old and recent tales, but meant for fun. Loved it like all of Hartness' books!
I got Whispersync, and Andrew McFerrin seems to enjoy narrating it without breaking down and cackling.

[Mark Wilcox · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, I've read several works by Hartness. Just when I thought I couldn't love a character more than Quincy Harker, I meet Bubba. A good ol' boy with a beer gut, a gun and a mandate from the Holy Catholic Church to hunt down monsters. This first collection grabs you and carries you through a host of Bubba adventures. A must read for any fan of monster stories, redneck stories, or just humor stories.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an interesting collection of stories! Bubba, Skeeter, Father Joe ,and Amy are interesting characters. I throughly enjoyed the stories and laughed at several of the stories and Skeeter is a funny person!
I have a new look at Valentines Day and laugh so much! Bubba is such an unusual person but he does good. His past has shaped him and it will come back to haunt him. The ending is unexpected but it leads to another chapter in Bubba/ Robert’s life.
I do recommend this book!

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok, so it isn’t exactly War and Peace. But if you want a fun read you’ve come to the right book. Imagine a redneck version of Kolchak: The Night Stalker. Or maybe The “Monster of Week” episodes of The X-Files but instead of Mulder and Scully we get a good ole boy former college football player. It was kind of the definition of a guilty pleasure. Glad some friends of mine recommended it to me. I will definitely read the next book in the series.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I expected this to be hilarious, and I was not disappointed. Bubba, a loud, crass redneck with a heart of gold, and Skeeter, a gay, black techie, make a perfect team for combating the things that go bump in the night (and boy howdy do they!) From strip clubs to retirement homes, Bubba keeps the world safe from vamps, weres, and even cupids. And the stories are told in bite-sized chunks... OH I GET IT NOW... that had me cracking up in the school pickup line.

[Danielle Hasan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilariously gruesome

This book was a refreshing experience, an original storyline with amazingly memorable characters. The short story format made this an easy read, giving me the perfect place to pause and return to reality for a while to adult before coming back to hang with Bubba and go on an adventure. Looking forward to meeting up with Bubba, Skeeter and Amy in the next book!

[Jennifer Holzapfel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved every page of this book. John G. Hartness is proving himself as a rising powerhouse in the writing world. I had never even heard of him until I downloaded free copies of his books. I can honestly say I will actually pay to read his books, this coming from someone that always hit the sale tables at the book stores, looking for a long book with a small price tag.

[JJ Broenner · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book truly does feel like a season, the way each chapter is a new job for Bubba. I found the characters to be unique and entertaining. The only downside to reading a season at once like this is that you hear some info repeated during each job like background info on characters. I look forward to reading more Bubba stories he doesn’t disappoint.

[Scott S. · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

Like opening the fridge and seeing that there is off brand Dr. Pepper, but no Dr. Pepper. You'd rather have Dr. Pepper, but this will do.

This book is okay, probably worth a listen. But it's a poor man's MHI. Published two years after MHI. Read that first or instead. Or even better listen to it since the narrator is the best there is.

Bubba Monster Hunter compared to MHI is like the movie version of a great book. They never live up to the book and if you watch it before reading the book it steals a little something from the experience.

Good narration.

[Trevor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Complete first season of Bubba the Monster Hunter, having read Quincy Harker series, gave this one a go. Very good series, you will either love or hate this, but it is an enjoyable bit of OTT escapism. Starts with mission only stories, but characters develop well over the series, once Bubba's back story kicks in.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book actually made me laugh out loud, and not many books can do that. It's a fun series of short stories, that go together beautifully to tell the story of one man. Lighthearted at first, the characters do have depth, which gets explored closer to the end. It's a good read -- fun, funny and leave you wanting more!

[Carol Van horn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy crap!!!!!!! Didn't see that twist coming!!

At first I thought Bubba was just a red neck monster hunter who'd been wronged by a woman. That was my logic why he was always talking about strip clubs. He is so much more than that. He's intelligent and a helleva fighter.
I've bought the second book and will start it after dinner.

[Dom Graham · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was funny, but in a way that Family Guy, The Simpsons oh, and American Dad are funny. Lots of juvenile humor without a real story behind it. The book does eventually gained some depth, but it takes forever! It's definitely not near as good as Quincy Harker. I'm actually reading the bundle on Audible, and I'm not sure if I'll continue. I'm kind of losing interest.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first I thought this was just going to be a series of short vignettes with a kick ass attitude and a sense of humor. But by the third vignette I was hooked. By the the end of the book I was ready for the next in the series. There's actually a story here and I can't wait to find out what happens next.