Finding Himself : From New Mexico to the Sierra Madre and Back : Volume I: The Matthew–Matt Trilogy

by Floyd Merrell

Matthew was raised by a profoundly religious Mexican mother and Anglo father. When in his twenties, he believes he has been called by God to embark on a mission to spread the gospel among the indigenous Tarahumaras in northern Chihuahua, Mexico.

He leaves behind his family and sweetheart, Dotty, to walk “like Jesus walked.” He also hitchhikes through the remote southern New Mexico desert and the rugged Sierra Madre into the Copper Canyon area.

Matthew befriends Jesús and stays with his family, working with him in the field by day and engaging in long conversations at night. They discuss folk beliefs, the Tarahumara religion, and philosophy. Matthew’s faith begins to waver and he finds himself in a sea of ambiguity.

Following a dramatic change of mind, heart, and soul, he decides to return home to orient his strange emerging self. On the way, he has a run-in with drug traffickers and kills one of them; he is mugged twice and loses his faith in the goodness of mankind; his financial resources diminish, compelling him to collaborate in a robbery.

In short, his life becomes what before his journey would have been virtually unthinkable. Physically drained, when he is back home and sees Dotty, he can do no more than weakly whisper her name, leaving the novel open to multiple interpretations.

About the
floyd merrell is retired and lives in Las Cruces, New Mexico. “I taught at Purdue University from 1973 to 2011. During those years I wrote a number of academic books for specialists in Latin American culture and literature, and communication theory (semiotics). Finding Himself is my first novel.”

Publisher’s

220 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 9, 2013

Reviews

[Gayle Pace · Rating 4 out of 5]

MY VIEW

Searching for the meaning of life, Matthew leaves everything, his family, home and girlfriends to go on a spiritual journey. Matthew was raised by a religious Anglo father and a Mexican mother. Matthew believes he is being called by God to go on this journey and spread the religious word to the Tarahumaras which live in northern Chihuahua, Mexico. He believes he needs to walk the way Jesus walked.

He finally gets to Mexico and works in the fields along side them and talks into the long hours of the night.

When he starts his return trip home, Matthew goes through some hard experiences His faith is being tested. At some points, he begins to doubt his faith. What has Matthew learned? Has his faith remained solid? Or has he lost his religious beliefs?

I would recommend this book to anyone who feels his faith is waning. To anyone who feels the need to walk the walk of Jesus. I felt that the book was a good lesson in faith. It isn't easy and sometimes we stumble. It's getting back on track that counts. I believe that's what Matthew did. He faltered but got back on track.

I was given a complimentary copy of FINDING HIMSELF by Floyd Merrell for my view of the book. No other compensation took place.