20 Pieces of Advice To My Sister Before Her Marriage

by Badr bin Ali Al-Utaybee

Genres: Islam, Marriage

158 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[hiba ☕︎ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Realize, oh sister, the Moon is the same each month; however, it still rejuvenates its appearance after having been absent. It continues to grasp the amazement of onlookers and is always being used as a metaphor. So be like the Moon.

This was an incredibly eye-opening book, the advice of which goes beyond the bounds of marriage. Reading this was a guide to having the utmost and best akhlaq, to being the best Muslimah, to being loved by Allah, our ultimate goal in life.

Understanding in detail the weight of the rights that Allah has placed on our shoulders was, in all candor, scary. We rush towards companionship, but we forget that Allah will question us about how well we fulfilled the rights of our spouses. Reading about all these amazing qualities loved by Allah—patience, forbearance, holding your tongue when angry, forgiving your spouse for his faults, swallowing your pride—are lifelong ones that take time and strenuous effort to nurture and maintain. Coupled with feminism and widespread heedlessness of Allah, it is suddenly not a mystery why divorce rates are so high. The traits presented in this book are the very basic foundation of any healthy relationship; the basic foundation of a good Muslim—that’s why I really loved it. It gives you a much needed reality check on where you’re at in terms of akhlaq and adab.

And, of course, a side note about feminism. Really just a warning to my sisters that everything feminism promotes—and I mean everything—goes against what Islam has legislated for us women. I was reading this book and it made me so terribly anxious to see how far, how so, very far, feminism can take a woman from Islam. WAllahi it’s really scary. I advise all my sisters to read this just to check themselves against it, to see points of improvement, points of weakness and strengths. Most importantly, I think this book is a good detox from all the unIslamic feministic garbage that has been indoctrinated into our minds through social media and silly movies and shows. May Allah reward the author immensely.

[جبرئیل · Rating 5 out of 5]

A 193minutes read. 167pages

Author is a student of Shaykh Abdullah bin Baz.

Useful, detailed, and diverse.
Provides many examples from noble people, alongside the reference ahadith, unlike the other ones I’ve gone through so far on the topic of women and relationships.

Some interesting chapters :
-> Your feminine nature is from your greatest weapons 💀(this is supported by a hadith, I quote in the end of the review)
-> Marital Life, Not Communal Life.
-> Jealousy, the Praiseworthy and the Blameworthy
-> Being new every day.
-> The lofty characteristics, the Noble Manners
-> The quickest path to hearts.



The hadith-> I have not seen anyone more deficient in intellect and religion that can take from a resolute man his reason, than you(i.e. women).
- Bukhari wa Muslim, narrated by Abu Saeed al-Khudri

[Iqra · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book for sisters who are married or will marry. It explains thoroughly what should be done and not done for a prosperous and a healthy marriage life. A must read!!

[Delilah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read The Fragile Vessels by Muhammad Al-Jibaly just prior to reading this book, and both books were great. However, if I were to recommend one of the two to a new bride, this would be the one I would recommend.

The advice here in 20 Pieces of Advice to My Sister Before Her Marriage is a very personal and practical guide to marriage. The sheikh goes into the details of how to fulfill your husband's rights and complete your responsibilities as a wife. The writing style is very friendly and personable, which made me feel comfortable about the topics he discusses. It's definitely a book I will want to revisit over and over throughout my marriage iA.

[Bintbooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

“A man’s generosity is like a date tree. Every time it is watered its fruits grow more beautiful. So water your husband’s generosity by thanking and praising him and by asking Allah to give him good”

This book is a gem. Every sister should read this. The shaykh beautifully highlights so much. Definitely a book to go back too. Now I just need a physical copy😅. May Allah reward the shaykh ‏حفظ الله

[Anggitverdan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Buku ini merupakan pelengkap dari dua buku sebelumnya. Benar-benar terasa seperti nasihat dari orangtua kepada anak; tidak menggurui melainkan menjelaskan dengan baik-baik, ringan dan urut.

Banyak point penting yang memang sebaiknya tidak hanya dibaca dari sisi perempuan saja, melainkan juga bisa dibaca dari sisi laki-laki. Menurutku, buku ini tidak terbatas pada perempuan saja untk dibaca, dan tidak terbatas agama.

Buku ini menunjukkan bagaimana agama ini memberikan detail aturan-aturan yang tepat dan solusi dari permasalahan yang ada; yang paling tepat adalah bukan menunggu sebuah masalah datang baru dicari jalan keluarnya; melainkan dengan memahami apa saja petunjuk-petunjuk dariNya dan bila permasalahan itu timbul kita dapat mensiasatinya dengan baik.

Buku ini terasa sekali tentang bagaimana cara memuliakan pasangan; tidak hanya pasangan saja, melainkan juga orang-orang yg dicintai pasangan.

Barakallah untk penulis. Semoga pahala mengalir atas tulisan-tulisan yang baik ini

[dinarepsi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Buku ini dikhususkan untuk dibaca oleh wanita Muslimah sebelum menikah, tapi juga secara umum untuk siapa saja yang memang sedang mencari ilmu berumah tangga dalam rangka mencari pertolongan dan meraih ridho Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala.

Buku ini memuat sejumlah dasar akhlak terpuji dalam kehidupan berumah tangga agar istri bisa mengambil hati dan cinta suaminya, yang dapat menjadi faktor utama kelanggengan mahligai rumah tangga, serta kebahagiaan bagi sang istri sendiri.

Walau buku ini terkesan ringkas, namun penjelasannya sarat akan makna. Karena diperkaya dengan ayat-ayat al-Quran, Sunnah, penjelasan ulama, dan juga syair. Ditulis dengan bahasa yang sangat halus dan jauh dari kesan menghakimi. Seperti sebuah pesan atau nasihat dari seorang ayah kepada anak perempuannya.

[Dany · Rating 3 out of 5]

Très bon livre selon moi, qui se veut clair et qui cite ses sources. En revanche, je n’ai pas du tout aimé lorsque l’auteur sors de la religion pour exposer des idées liées à la « convention » et à la « morale », ces deux choses étant arbitraires et dépendant énormément du pays et de la culture dans lequel le musulman évolue. J’aurai aimé que l’auteur s’en tienne à des avis purement religieux sur tous les points.

[Safiamohamed · Rating 5 out of 5]

its good

[bayaan · Rating 3 out of 5]

an sich super lieb geschrieben aber ich fand manche aussagen wirklich schwierig

3.5/5

[Nazeera☕︎ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful advices