Preparing for Marriage God's Way: A Step-By-Step Guide for Marriage Success Before and After the Wedding

by Wayne A. Mack

A stepbystep guide for marriage success before and after the wedding.

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Counselling, Christianity, Theology, Nonfiction, Christian Living

288 pages, Paperback

First published October 4, 2013

About the author

Wayne Mack lives in Pretoria, South Africa, where he serves as a pastor-elder with his son-in-law and teaches biblical counseling at Strengthening Ministries Training Institute to pastors and aspiring pastors in the region. He also spends about six weeks in the USA teaching at various churches. He and his wife, Carol, have four adult children and numerous grandchildren.

Reviews

[Michael Beck · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a pastor, I have used this book to help with premarital counseling many times. It is very useful for that purpose, and I highly recommend it to couples planning their upcoming Christian marriage.

[Haley Annabelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of good conversations were sparked by this book. However, I would like it better if the verses he chose were a bit more specifically targeted and he did a little more explanations of assignments.

[Gabriel Coman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book for people who are still dating and thinking seriously about getting married. It is strongly recommended to read this book together with your partner rather than working through it yourself. The first chapters are quite heavily focused on the relationship part of things, while the later chapters make the reader(s) really delve quite deep into the Bible and what it has to say about love and marriage, though even there keeping it‘s practical approach. Overall a really good read that might spark up an interesting conversation or two in your relationship!

[Alisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd suggest reading this book before getting engaged since its questions are able to spark heated debates and show the most profound truths and habits of your partner. Once you made it through it without noticing irremediable issues you're probably in the right direction of getting engaged. If not, you're at least a little more wise and prone to detect difficulties in future relationships.

[Shannon Highley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Went through this book during pre-marital counseling. It felt like a book meant for people who don’t know each other. Definitely important things to talk about, but these we’re already things my husband and I had discussed.

[Sarah Redmond · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good conversation prompts. Hard to get through because we're sinners (shocker) but good

[Allison · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book going into it, but I couldn't recommend this book to anyone approaching marriage. First, there is so much writing, journaling, and ratings lists to complete, I would personally never want to use it. As my husband and I read through it in preparation for a family counseling class he's taking for seminary, we were laughing to tears in some portions because it seemed so unrealistic and idealized. Nobody will have all of these things figured out before marriage, and most things will not smooth out until you've been together for years. I feel like it might discourage more people than help them along. Also, it was very frustrating to read because the writing/editing of the book was so poorly done and the rating scales changed for every single quiz. Not recommended.

[Philip Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good content for sure. Got a bit repetitive which got kinda lame. Main critique would have to be the rating system that changes in each quiz. Gets a little frustrating and off putting. 1 quiz will rate from 1-5, next one will be from 0-4, next one will be -0 -2 (seriously, negative zero??) It's so bad that my fiancee and I have a little inside joke going on it. I would recommend a different editor for the third edition. That being said, content wise, it's a good book.

[Jackson Wells · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a well-intentioned book that is very thorough and excessively so. My wife and I appreciated its sound advice, but it sought to solve every issue and belabor such points by repeating them throughout the book. If you answer every question and follow every writing prompt, it’s very likely that by the end of the book you will have written more than the author. I think a much smaller book could accomplish the same task.

[Zack · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though there may be a tendency at times to “proof-text,” the book’s usefulness for pre-marital counseling merits a 5/5 rating. The inconsistent rating scales and overly intense idealism knock it down to 3/5. Nevertheless, I would consider this book THE go-to pre-marital counseling book for nouthetic/biblical counseling.

[Ashley Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thought provoking...sometimes the out of date language provoked me to annoyance. On the whole, I appreciated the exercises and the ways that they stirred up conversation.

[Brett Brewer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I worked through this book with my wife and a couple that we were counseling prior to their upcoming wedding. This was my first time working through this book after having it recommended to me by my pastor and friend.

I found that this book was more rigorous than I expected it to be. There is a lot of good stuff in there that, if completed honestly, will force a couple to confront the tough questions prior to marriage. This is exactly what you would like to see, rather than having surprises after marriage. Preparing for Marriage God's Way is filled to the brim with Scripture to illustrate and substantiate the Biblical way that one ought to live out a Christian life, most intimately experienced in a Christian marriage.

What this book does not have a lot of is foundational theology. Mack operates under the assumption that the reader mostly knows why marriage is sacred, what it represents Biblically, and why it ought to be protected at all costs, giving only short blurbs to start each chapter prior to jumping into the more workbook style of the rest of each chapter. For this reason, I think that this book doesn't stand on it's own as a premarital counseling resource, but works great in tandem with a more foundational/theological treatment of marriage. We paired it with John Piper's This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence and found the pairing to work very well.

Overall, I thought feel that this book is a thorough treatment of most of the issues that one might expect to encounter in marriage, and would be a great addition to any couples premarital counseling. It would also be a reasonable book to use as a check-in for married couples as well, especially those that may not have had a robust counseling experience before marriage.

[Rebecca Pate · Rating 2 out of 5]

First, let me say it wasn’t all bad. We went through this with our counselors, and our discussions with them were great. Going through this book, however, I have numerous thoughts.

- too high of expectations for how much time an engaged couple has to journal, read, and discuss things. Could’ve been more concise.
- some of the questions or the “rating” lists were borderline ridiculous. But, I suppose if this book is how you found out your significant other believes those things, it would prove beneficial.
- going off of that, MUCH of this book should be discussed way before engagement. If you don’t already know a lot of these things about your fiancé, how did you decide to marry them? Just my opinion. Maybe my fiancé and I just have different discussions than others. But we found much of it unnecessary because we already had had a lot of these discussions.

I’m no marriage counseling expert but I would much sooner recommend one of the other books on marriage that I have read than this one. But as I said at the beginning, we DID have some good conversation come out of this book.

[E.G. Bella · Rating 5 out of 5]

My fiancé and I each purchased a copy of this book to use in our pre-marital counseling classes, and found great benefit from it! While we didn't answer every question (there are LOTS, some more applicable than others, depending on the couple), and skipped around depending on our officiant's topic for the week, everything we did was helpful. There were many good insights, conversation starters, opportunities to learn about the other person - and ourselves! - in a deeper way, and truly prepare more in-depth for a strong, healthy, God-honoring marriage.
It covered many topics, from communication, fighting, intimacy, finances, family/in-laws, work, household duties, hobbies, children, and more, and often asked us to search and study a variety of Scripture verses that dealt with each topic. We both appreciated the practical, God-centered advice, and would highly recommend it to new couples!

(There are also sections in the back that we haven't done yet, such as a 1st year check-up, etc.)

[Nick · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was really well done. These are problems that couples should be discussing as they head into marriage. With a sky-rocketing divorce rate anything that can be done to save marriages is a good thing. These would be good for premarital counseling.

I would struggle with the amount sometimes. The simple amount of homework would be overwhelming and would cause me to fight with the counselor. You take two people already overwhelmed with planning a wedding, and give them fifteen pages of homework on top . . .

I hope it helps solve some people's problems, opens avenues for conversation, and helps strengthen marriages.

[Mwansa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book. It is more of a workbook that allows the couple to read through the scriptures and answer questions on what they need to know and think about marriage before, leading up to and after marrying. It is a very good book that would supplement the marriage counselling process. Couples must be honest and open as they go through this book and get to see how they view marriage, friendships, money, sex and a host of other things that really do bear thinking about.

[Ayden Tilton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a super great chapter by chapter deep dive into your relationship with your fiancé. I would definitely recommend it to any couple about to get married. Each chapter tackles a different aspect of the relationship and digs for what you truly feel on all aspects of the relationship. It takes you through prompts, Bible verses to go and study, some assignments, and places for ranking different things about yourself and your fiancé and how you are doing with some things.

[Mark Lickliter · Rating 5 out of 5]

We used this book to walk through pre-marriage counseling with our oldest son and his fiance. It stimulated great conversations, and I think it was really helpful for them as they aimed to begin their journey together.

[Mark A. · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best premarriage questions and thoughts.

[John Weis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent, biblical workbook for pre-marital counseling.

[Tim Sheppard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Use this book for your current upcoming marriage

[Renita · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you’re actually doing the workbook side of it, better to get the physical book.

There are a lot of questions every chapter to answer yourself, your spouse, and together.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great workbook to get couples communicating and thinking about the joys and challenges of successful marriage.

[Sean Perron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of content. Overwhelming if you try to do it all, but phenomenal questions and worksheets.

[Cristina]

Gueti Frageböge u Liischtene

[Rachel Mason · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely a bit outdated but helps bring up good conversations!

[A H · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Disclaimer, I haven’t yet read the ending 1 week, 1 year, et cetera checkins but did skim them).

Phew!

First of all, this book is intense. I don’t recommend going through it at an average of 2 chapters a week. Especially if you plan on talking them through with your beloved and then counselors. That is what we tried to do. It made it feel more like homework.

This book helped us think and talk through some hard and important things, as well as some fun and pleasant memories. I enjoyed that aspect of it a lot! And, of course, I enjoyed the focus on Scripture!

[Ray Branch · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have seen a few reviews on this book that say that Mack goes too in-depth and uses too much Scripture. I completely disagree!!! I would highly recommend this book to any preacher, pastor, or counselor as a resource for marriage counseling. If there is one thing that needs to be thought out, it is marriage. A great deal of thought needs to be put into this huge step in life. As far as Scripture goes, you can not get too much Scripture, after all, God is the one who designed and instituted marriage. This book is called "Preparing for Marriage God's Way" for a reason. Mack takes a biblical approach and does an extensive job covering all the areas that need to be thought of before a couple comes together as one.

[Lynette Karg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Too many activities for typical premarital counseling, but lots of good things to pick and choose from. Not so much instruction as having counselees dig for themselves into scripture and questions to spur discussion.

[Perpetual Felicities Blog · Rating 5 out of 5]

So helpful and comprehensive! My husband and I did this in premarital counseling and it was so useful. It systematically helped us examine how to biblically communicate about every corner of our lives. This would be great for any marriage at any stage.