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Sex and the Single Christian Girl: Fighting for Purity in a Rom-Com World
Can purity survive real-world temptation?
"True love waits"--but what exactly are you waiting for? After all, we're constantly bombarded with Hollywood's idea of romance--that sex is no big deal, that everyone is doing it, that it's the only path to a happy ending. Maybe you've even begun to wonder, What am I missing? Is the wait really worth it?
Marian Jordan Ellis has been there. She knows the pitfalls of giving in to temptation--but also the blessings of God's best found in waiting after she committed herself to Christ and to sexual purity. Now, from one Christian woman to another, she hopes to spare you from the heartache of sexual sin and instead point you toward God's best. Marian offers lots of practical advice, backed by biblical truth, to equip you with the tools to overcome past mistakes and future temptations.
You are cherished. Whether you are happily single, casually dating, or have found "the one," your purity is worth fighting for.
"True love waits"--but what exactly are you waiting for? After all, we're constantly bombarded with Hollywood's idea of romance--that sex is no big deal, that everyone is doing it, that it's the only path to a happy ending. Maybe you've even begun to wonder, What am I missing? Is the wait really worth it?
Marian Jordan Ellis has been there. She knows the pitfalls of giving in to temptation--but also the blessings of God's best found in waiting after she committed herself to Christ and to sexual purity. Now, from one Christian woman to another, she hopes to spare you from the heartache of sexual sin and instead point you toward God's best. Marian offers lots of practical advice, backed by biblical truth, to equip you with the tools to overcome past mistakes and future temptations.
You are cherished. Whether you are happily single, casually dating, or have found "the one," your purity is worth fighting for.
224 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 2013
66 people are currently reading
505 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
July 29, 2016
Living in a culture in which casual sex is glorified, females of all ages face a common battle: the widespread sexual objectification of women. Our value is placed in the hands of marketing execs who've made hyper-sexuality a lucrative business. For Christian girls who value purity, they fight what feels like a losing battle as they are attacked from all sides.
In Marian Jordan Ellis's new work of non-fiction, Sex and the Single Christian Girl: Fighting for Purity in a Rom-Com World, readers can expect to have their sexuality attacked by personal references one's "sin nature," and find all the tools required to achieve their happily-NEVER-after. Predictably, Sex and the Single Christian Girl offers a heaping helping of slut-shaming, practice used assign guilt or feelings of inferiority feel guilty for acting on sexual behaviors or desires that deviate from traditional Christian expectations. Why am I not surprised? the concept that women should maintain their "sacred purity" is not a new one; its primary objective is to keep young, unmarried women from the clutches of the ecstatic throes of passion, redirecting their attentions to the loving relationship they have with Jesus Christ. The entire practice is contrary to natural law; all humans are created as sexual beings, and repressing human sexuality is grounds for mental abuse.
The entire principle of "purity" is inherently flawed; it supposes that women (presumably a man's purity is a trifling matter, not worth addressing) will abstain from biologically predisposed sexual urges, l saving no room for deviance from the formula. When a woman looses her "purity" and is no longer a virgin, does it then follow that she is unworthy of a spiritual relationship? Where is depravity line drawn? Should a girl subjected to untimely arousal be bathed in feelings of shame and immorality? Can we address the trend of Christian youth groupers, engaging in every known sexual act, stopping only at genital penetration?
As the book is written for an audience of adult readers, one must assume that the majority of those meant to benefit from Ellis' guidance no longer have their virginity intact, so already, they have cause to feel the taint of stigma. The entire emphasis of this title is the connection between abstinence and remaining cherished by God, only to be exchanged by long-term feelings of sexual guilt that likely will continue beyond the excepted sexual bounds, marriage, at which I can only presume that women are allowed to enjoy sex, but not too much.
Begrudgingly, I will admit that I am not the target audience for this book, so even though I haven't a kind word to offer regarding this title, I'm rating it four of five stars based on my presumption of its likability by its intended reader.
Myself, I'll stick with erotica.
A physical copy of this book was provided by the publisher or author for purposes of review.
In Marian Jordan Ellis's new work of non-fiction, Sex and the Single Christian Girl: Fighting for Purity in a Rom-Com World, readers can expect to have their sexuality attacked by personal references one's "sin nature," and find all the tools required to achieve their happily-NEVER-after. Predictably, Sex and the Single Christian Girl offers a heaping helping of slut-shaming, practice used assign guilt or feelings of inferiority feel guilty for acting on sexual behaviors or desires that deviate from traditional Christian expectations. Why am I not surprised? the concept that women should maintain their "sacred purity" is not a new one; its primary objective is to keep young, unmarried women from the clutches of the ecstatic throes of passion, redirecting their attentions to the loving relationship they have with Jesus Christ. The entire practice is contrary to natural law; all humans are created as sexual beings, and repressing human sexuality is grounds for mental abuse.
The entire principle of "purity" is inherently flawed; it supposes that women (presumably a man's purity is a trifling matter, not worth addressing) will abstain from biologically predisposed sexual urges, l saving no room for deviance from the formula. When a woman looses her "purity" and is no longer a virgin, does it then follow that she is unworthy of a spiritual relationship? Where is depravity line drawn? Should a girl subjected to untimely arousal be bathed in feelings of shame and immorality? Can we address the trend of Christian youth groupers, engaging in every known sexual act, stopping only at genital penetration?
As the book is written for an audience of adult readers, one must assume that the majority of those meant to benefit from Ellis' guidance no longer have their virginity intact, so already, they have cause to feel the taint of stigma. The entire emphasis of this title is the connection between abstinence and remaining cherished by God, only to be exchanged by long-term feelings of sexual guilt that likely will continue beyond the excepted sexual bounds, marriage, at which I can only presume that women are allowed to enjoy sex, but not too much.
Begrudgingly, I will admit that I am not the target audience for this book, so even though I haven't a kind word to offer regarding this title, I'm rating it four of five stars based on my presumption of its likability by its intended reader.
Myself, I'll stick with erotica.
A physical copy of this book was provided by the publisher or author for purposes of review.
February 11, 2014
Why do we watch Romantic Comedies and sigh over their heroes, and smile in contentment when the final credits roll and the destiny driven couple has had their fairy tale ending? Why do we cheer when the main characters make bad decisions all in the name of love?
When you stop to think about it, it doesn't make much sense. Romantic comedies have little to do with real life, and are often filled with flaws. Ms. Ellis honestly tells her story, and shares her struggles all the while encouraging, and pointing to the gospel of Jesus Christ. It's been a long time since I've read a book like this one.
What most impressed me about this book was that it wasn't the typical book that talked about dating or courtship and all the things you should and shouldn't do. It is a book that focuses on finding truth in the only firm foundation of Jesus Christ, and avoiding the pitfalls that can detour us, especially in today's culture.
I was very impressed with this book, and would happily recommend it to other single young women.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and testimonials in Advertising."
When you stop to think about it, it doesn't make much sense. Romantic comedies have little to do with real life, and are often filled with flaws. Ms. Ellis honestly tells her story, and shares her struggles all the while encouraging, and pointing to the gospel of Jesus Christ. It's been a long time since I've read a book like this one.
What most impressed me about this book was that it wasn't the typical book that talked about dating or courtship and all the things you should and shouldn't do. It is a book that focuses on finding truth in the only firm foundation of Jesus Christ, and avoiding the pitfalls that can detour us, especially in today's culture.
I was very impressed with this book, and would happily recommend it to other single young women.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and testimonials in Advertising."
December 9, 2013
With dignity and grace Marian Ellis addresses the real issues single Christian women face today.
She doesn't just give us a list of do's and don'ts she tells us the hows and whys and how we can be victorious.
When she discussed Satan's methods of attack and how to recognize them and how we can counterattack, I was like "I thought I was the only person who struggled with this"!
Sex is a subject that is either degraded or totally ignored in the "church ", much to Satan's delight. Sexual battles are real, we must actively fight temptation not pretend it doesn't exist. Marian candidly brings out that there is a war for our souls whether we believe it or not and God still expects sexual purity until marriage ... "abstain from fleshly lusts, which WAGE WAR against the soul." ... Wars are never easily won but nevertheless they can be won!
A challenging and enlightening book I would recommended for single women of all ages!
I received this book free frow Bethany House Publishers in exchange for an honest review, the opinions expressed here are my own.
She doesn't just give us a list of do's and don'ts she tells us the hows and whys and how we can be victorious.
When she discussed Satan's methods of attack and how to recognize them and how we can counterattack, I was like "I thought I was the only person who struggled with this"!
Sex is a subject that is either degraded or totally ignored in the "church ", much to Satan's delight. Sexual battles are real, we must actively fight temptation not pretend it doesn't exist. Marian candidly brings out that there is a war for our souls whether we believe it or not and God still expects sexual purity until marriage ... "abstain from fleshly lusts, which WAGE WAR against the soul." ... Wars are never easily won but nevertheless they can be won!
A challenging and enlightening book I would recommended for single women of all ages!
I received this book free frow Bethany House Publishers in exchange for an honest review, the opinions expressed here are my own.
May 2, 2025
Single or not, every girl following Jesus should read this book. It changed my perspective on relationships and singleness and purity, and it was such an easy read. The author spoke truth, but also made it fun and enjoyable and relatable!
December 19, 2013
The past few years has seen a flurry of Christian self help books on sexuality for women. Marian Jordan Ellis attempts to take everything that's already out there, expand upon it, and wrap it up in a neat little bow. She did a decent job, although I found it went in circles and was a little repetitive. Many passages, prayers, and stories were repeated time and again. That being said, I still thought the author did a good job getting her message across.
Ellis lists reasons why fighting for purity is essential and then backs it up with scripture and testimonials. She then lists many lies we deceive ourselves with such as; it's ok because we love each other, he won't love me if we don't do it, once you've lost you're virginity it doesn't matter anymore, we're eventually going to get married, etc. She then refutes each lies and teaches the reader ways to resist temptation and fight for your purity.
This guide isn't just for 15 year old Christian virgins. It's for all girls whether they are still pure or not. It's about getting back on track and staying there.
It's a fast read and I especially enjoyed the cute little romantic movie quotes that opened up each chapter.
Ellis lists reasons why fighting for purity is essential and then backs it up with scripture and testimonials. She then lists many lies we deceive ourselves with such as; it's ok because we love each other, he won't love me if we don't do it, once you've lost you're virginity it doesn't matter anymore, we're eventually going to get married, etc. She then refutes each lies and teaches the reader ways to resist temptation and fight for your purity.
This guide isn't just for 15 year old Christian virgins. It's for all girls whether they are still pure or not. It's about getting back on track and staying there.
It's a fast read and I especially enjoyed the cute little romantic movie quotes that opened up each chapter.
January 17, 2014
I have enjoyed the book as a whole. The message is one that is positive and uplifting, encouraging women with every kind of history. For this reason alone the book is worth a look. The author lays out in clear detail what it looks like to live a pure life and pitfalls that may be experienced/avoided along the way.
The only thing I didn't care for about this book was the amount of time she spend talking about the devil. I certainly don't disagree that he would like to see women settle (or anyone for that matter) settle for less than God's best. It just seemed to be a little heavy on the enemy, to me.
If you are looking for an easy and encouraging read about sexual purity this is definitely a good option for you.
The only thing I didn't care for about this book was the amount of time she spend talking about the devil. I certainly don't disagree that he would like to see women settle (or anyone for that matter) settle for less than God's best. It just seemed to be a little heavy on the enemy, to me.
If you are looking for an easy and encouraging read about sexual purity this is definitely a good option for you.
August 27, 2017
Uplifting and encouraging. I find myself going back to reread certain passages. Marian was open, honest and back it up with scriptures.
July 6, 2017
Great book to read for single Christian women and girls to learn about living pure for God and waiting until you're married to have sex with your husband. It shows you whether or not you've already had sex, that God still loves you and the enemy is trying to make you think you won't be forgiven and loved by God. But of course the enemy is wrong!
I recommend that you answer the discussion questions at the end as you finish each chapter so you won't be stuck like I was at the end of the book trying to answer all of the questions. XD it's a great book. Please enjoy it
I recommend that you answer the discussion questions at the end as you finish each chapter so you won't be stuck like I was at the end of the book trying to answer all of the questions. XD it's a great book. Please enjoy it
October 23, 2021
This was by far the best Christian nonfiction book I’ve ever read. The writing was strong, relatable, and vulnerable. The advice was biblically rooted, straight forward, and challenging. I’m so glad I read this.
*I will say that there were two sentences that I felt shouldn’t have been included in this book or should be reworded. I believe the author had great intentions and the biblical basis for this book was strong, but these sentences did not match the book’s message and didn’t match biblical values in my own opinion.
*I will say that there were two sentences that I felt shouldn’t have been included in this book or should be reworded. I believe the author had great intentions and the biblical basis for this book was strong, but these sentences did not match the book’s message and didn’t match biblical values in my own opinion.
June 26, 2023
WOW this book is so good! I was hesitant to read another book about sex and how God views our sexuality…but Marian truly wrote this book from a completely different angle. Instead of talking about the “do’s” and “don’t’s” regarding sex for believers, she talked about the heart of Christ and how our love for Him should be our motivation to live pure. She also talked a lot about how Satan is attacking our culture…much of this book is about spiritual warfare which was awesome to read!! Loved loved loved this book.
November 5, 2024
Very helpful for me.
December 14, 2013
For a book about being single and trying to stay pure, Marian Jordan Ellis sure does talk a lot about marriage. While some parts make a great point, such as the idea of waiting for sex is about saving yourself for someone, but more so honor God through abstaining, there are others that get repeated a lot. I was glad that she took this approach to empower women to not fall into many of the ways that appeal more so to women's temptation, but I kept wondering what about women who don't perceive romantic comedies in the same way? Also, I wasn't sure this book was directed at teenage girls or women. I wasn't someone who could relate to be called a girl though.
Summary: Marian Jordan Ellis knows how it feels to fall into sexual temptation, and then decide that by following Christ you will avoid the lure of the closeness of physical relations again. Now she is out to help other women find their identity in Christ, and not how a man may make them feel. With Biblical scriptures to strengthen her points on how Christ can help overcome temptation she encourages women to stay strong in their faith, and that abstaining is worth it no matter how long you might have to wait for marriage.
Characters: I do like how Ellis uses examples of her own life to show how she has struggled. The reader is going to be able to relate a lot more to what she is saying because of her honesty. She also uses other examples of women, to back up the point that no one is along in their struggle. The biblical stories she uses also do a good job of backing up her points, but I do felt it would have worked better if she could have included more female characters from the Bible, because I'm sure there is at least one who had to suffer from the repercussions of what sexuality could do a woman's heart.
Writing: The points do repeat themselves fairly often. It's like Ellis didn't quite have enough to write a book, so many of the points she makes earlier in the book she goes back to. As said earlier, more stories, especially of Biblical women, would have gone far to lengthen her book. There were parts I found myself quickly skimming because the points seemed so familiar from earlier in the book. I also was confused about who this book was directed at. I get that it might be directed at younger girls who are teenagers, and that is fine, but as a woman I don't refer to myself as a girl anymore. I think the encouragement that Ellis brings is admirable though as she seems to have a passion for women.
Plot: This is non-fiction, so the plot isn't really there since it is more of a self-help book. I did like though how the book progresses toward the end. The story she used of her and her husband, Justin, running the race at the end was a very nice way to end the book. I felt the idea of being single and struggling with sexual pureness was a bit lost in all the talk of marriage though. For a woman who is single with no prospect of marriage in sight the idea of sex and marriage can actually be discouraging. I remember for me when I was single the last thing I wanted to hear was how married people can have sex. It may sound bad but it's true. It wasn't the idea of being pure for marriage that kept me from falling into temptation, but Jesus who did, because I knew my lifestyle was to glorify him. I think for single women who are Christians that was the part that should have been emphasized a lot more. A lot more women believe that marriage isn't waiting at the end of the tunnel and need a new perspective. My only other issue with the book was that Ellis seemed ashamed of sex sometimes. Like at one point she mentions an array of sexual activities that someone could partake in, and says she was embarrassed to type that out. Why would anyone be embarrassed to type out the sexual activities that a married couple could partake in?
I've got to give her a ton of credit for tackling a difficult subject. Trying to encompass an idea of sex and the effects of sex in a book isn't easy, but I do feel it's way more complex than this book goes into. I feel certain there are women who do have sex without regret out there, and are okay with the living with their boyfriends and having sex. Now I believe the stories in Ellis' book are real, but how do you address women who haven't had the same ideas on what they are doing? She gives some nice tips for women who are needing some encouragement though, and some scripture to go to.
Rating 6.5 of 10.
This book was provided by Bethany House Publishers in exchange for a review.
Summary: Marian Jordan Ellis knows how it feels to fall into sexual temptation, and then decide that by following Christ you will avoid the lure of the closeness of physical relations again. Now she is out to help other women find their identity in Christ, and not how a man may make them feel. With Biblical scriptures to strengthen her points on how Christ can help overcome temptation she encourages women to stay strong in their faith, and that abstaining is worth it no matter how long you might have to wait for marriage.
Characters: I do like how Ellis uses examples of her own life to show how she has struggled. The reader is going to be able to relate a lot more to what she is saying because of her honesty. She also uses other examples of women, to back up the point that no one is along in their struggle. The biblical stories she uses also do a good job of backing up her points, but I do felt it would have worked better if she could have included more female characters from the Bible, because I'm sure there is at least one who had to suffer from the repercussions of what sexuality could do a woman's heart.
Writing: The points do repeat themselves fairly often. It's like Ellis didn't quite have enough to write a book, so many of the points she makes earlier in the book she goes back to. As said earlier, more stories, especially of Biblical women, would have gone far to lengthen her book. There were parts I found myself quickly skimming because the points seemed so familiar from earlier in the book. I also was confused about who this book was directed at. I get that it might be directed at younger girls who are teenagers, and that is fine, but as a woman I don't refer to myself as a girl anymore. I think the encouragement that Ellis brings is admirable though as she seems to have a passion for women.
Plot: This is non-fiction, so the plot isn't really there since it is more of a self-help book. I did like though how the book progresses toward the end. The story she used of her and her husband, Justin, running the race at the end was a very nice way to end the book. I felt the idea of being single and struggling with sexual pureness was a bit lost in all the talk of marriage though. For a woman who is single with no prospect of marriage in sight the idea of sex and marriage can actually be discouraging. I remember for me when I was single the last thing I wanted to hear was how married people can have sex. It may sound bad but it's true. It wasn't the idea of being pure for marriage that kept me from falling into temptation, but Jesus who did, because I knew my lifestyle was to glorify him. I think for single women who are Christians that was the part that should have been emphasized a lot more. A lot more women believe that marriage isn't waiting at the end of the tunnel and need a new perspective. My only other issue with the book was that Ellis seemed ashamed of sex sometimes. Like at one point she mentions an array of sexual activities that someone could partake in, and says she was embarrassed to type that out. Why would anyone be embarrassed to type out the sexual activities that a married couple could partake in?
I've got to give her a ton of credit for tackling a difficult subject. Trying to encompass an idea of sex and the effects of sex in a book isn't easy, but I do feel it's way more complex than this book goes into. I feel certain there are women who do have sex without regret out there, and are okay with the living with their boyfriends and having sex. Now I believe the stories in Ellis' book are real, but how do you address women who haven't had the same ideas on what they are doing? She gives some nice tips for women who are needing some encouragement though, and some scripture to go to.
Rating 6.5 of 10.
This book was provided by Bethany House Publishers in exchange for a review.
January 22, 2015
I recently received a complimentary copy of Sex and the Single Christian Girl by Marian Jordan Ellis from Bethany House. Now if you know anything about me from reading my blog, you know that I am NOT single, and since I have a baby...you know. I really got this book for the sole purpose of finding a good book for the single teenage girls in our youth group. A lot of times sex is considered a taboo subject in conservative Christian circles. You always here don't have sex outside of marriage, but that's really all you hear on the matter. Now I am a firm believer in not having sex before marriage, but why? what are the consequences? what verses in Scripture specifically speak on this subject? These are questions that go through any unmarried person's mind. This book addresses these questions.
Ms. Ellis speaks out honestly about her past life. About how she previously engaged in sex outside of marriage, until she found the Lord and He changed her life around. She also includes true life stories of other women of all ages who have given in to the lies of the devil about sex and purity. She warns us against specific lies the Devil uses to convince us to give in to not just sexual sins, but against many other sins. The difference between sin and temptation is also pointed out. Temptation itself is not a sin. Giving in to temptation is a sin. I Corinthians 10:13 says, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it". We don't have to give into temptation. The Lord will always provide a way for us to escape the temptations, and will bless us for doing so.
When a couple stands before the Lord on their wedding day, they make a commitment "to love, honor, and cherish" one another. Ms. Ellis also brings up the difference between loving something/someone and cherishing something/someone. The young people in the world today don't understand how to cherish someone or how to be cherished by someone. Most couples in the world today simply lust after one another. Cherishing goes so much deeper than just having affection for another. Cherishing is protecting and caring selflessly for another.
I really think this is a great book for young, unmarried women. I'm a firm believer that most young, Christian women do not plan to fall into sin with a man before marriage anymore than a Christian spouse plans to cheat on their spouse. The problem comes when we give in to the lies of the devil and highly exalt ourselves. Christian girl, let the Lord lead you to His best for your life and don't give in to the lies of the devil. For those who may have given in to the lies of the devil, you don't have to let that define you the rest of your life. God still has a plan for you and can use your changed life to bring glory and honor to His name. Although I hate that she flip-flops back and forth to different versions of the Bible (I hate it when authors do this), this book shows the devil's greatest lies in the area of sexual sin and I believe it would be a help to any young, Christian lady.
Ms. Ellis speaks out honestly about her past life. About how she previously engaged in sex outside of marriage, until she found the Lord and He changed her life around. She also includes true life stories of other women of all ages who have given in to the lies of the devil about sex and purity. She warns us against specific lies the Devil uses to convince us to give in to not just sexual sins, but against many other sins. The difference between sin and temptation is also pointed out. Temptation itself is not a sin. Giving in to temptation is a sin. I Corinthians 10:13 says, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it". We don't have to give into temptation. The Lord will always provide a way for us to escape the temptations, and will bless us for doing so.
When a couple stands before the Lord on their wedding day, they make a commitment "to love, honor, and cherish" one another. Ms. Ellis also brings up the difference between loving something/someone and cherishing something/someone. The young people in the world today don't understand how to cherish someone or how to be cherished by someone. Most couples in the world today simply lust after one another. Cherishing goes so much deeper than just having affection for another. Cherishing is protecting and caring selflessly for another.
I really think this is a great book for young, unmarried women. I'm a firm believer that most young, Christian women do not plan to fall into sin with a man before marriage anymore than a Christian spouse plans to cheat on their spouse. The problem comes when we give in to the lies of the devil and highly exalt ourselves. Christian girl, let the Lord lead you to His best for your life and don't give in to the lies of the devil. For those who may have given in to the lies of the devil, you don't have to let that define you the rest of your life. God still has a plan for you and can use your changed life to bring glory and honor to His name. Although I hate that she flip-flops back and forth to different versions of the Bible (I hate it when authors do this), this book shows the devil's greatest lies in the area of sexual sin and I believe it would be a help to any young, Christian lady.
February 26, 2014
Review on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/review/R3UK7LF8...
Review on my blog (to be posted 2/27): http://christianbookshelfreviews.blog...
"Sex and the Single Christian Girl" isn't the best book on purity I've read; there were things I didn't like, but there were also some good things in the book.
Let me start by saying that the rom-com movie quotes were neat. I also really liked some of the other quotes from people that were listed. "Sex and the Single Christian Girl" started off great and ended great -- it was just the middle that I didn't like all that much.
At times the book got to be a little redundant, because the same things and/or Bible verses were quoted/stated several times. Also, there was just something about the writing style that didn't connect with me. I did like the message of "Sex and the Single Christian Girl", though.
Here are some random quotes from "Sex and the Single Christian Girl" that stood out to me:
"I love a good romantic comedy as much as the next girl, but obviously, many of them are not edifying. Honestly, discernment is the key. I'm not writing this book in hopes that women will boycott movies or burn their favorite DVDs. That's not my style. My desire for this book is to expose the battle that rages around sexual purity." -- page 14
"Our culture promotes the authority of self and feelings as supreme. The mantra "follow your heart" is the warm and fuzzy notion depicted in romantic comedies that says our hearts will lead us in the right direction. I don't want to offend anyone with this next statement, but honestly, that thinking is straight from the pit of hell. Our feelings are fickle. Our emotions cannot be trusted as a reliable guide." -- page 116
"In many ways, sex outside of marriage is presented as a tasty "forbidden fruit," and God is depicted as the cruel withholder of our pleasure." -- page 125
"Behind each lie is the Enemy enticing us to meet our legitimate need in an illegitimate way." -- page 154
Overall, I liked this book. I've read other books dealing with this topic (purity) that I thought were better, but the rom-com aspect was unique.
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it on my blog. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
Review on my blog (to be posted 2/27): http://christianbookshelfreviews.blog...
"Sex and the Single Christian Girl" isn't the best book on purity I've read; there were things I didn't like, but there were also some good things in the book.
Let me start by saying that the rom-com movie quotes were neat. I also really liked some of the other quotes from people that were listed. "Sex and the Single Christian Girl" started off great and ended great -- it was just the middle that I didn't like all that much.
At times the book got to be a little redundant, because the same things and/or Bible verses were quoted/stated several times. Also, there was just something about the writing style that didn't connect with me. I did like the message of "Sex and the Single Christian Girl", though.
Here are some random quotes from "Sex and the Single Christian Girl" that stood out to me:
"I love a good romantic comedy as much as the next girl, but obviously, many of them are not edifying. Honestly, discernment is the key. I'm not writing this book in hopes that women will boycott movies or burn their favorite DVDs. That's not my style. My desire for this book is to expose the battle that rages around sexual purity." -- page 14
"Our culture promotes the authority of self and feelings as supreme. The mantra "follow your heart" is the warm and fuzzy notion depicted in romantic comedies that says our hearts will lead us in the right direction. I don't want to offend anyone with this next statement, but honestly, that thinking is straight from the pit of hell. Our feelings are fickle. Our emotions cannot be trusted as a reliable guide." -- page 116
"In many ways, sex outside of marriage is presented as a tasty "forbidden fruit," and God is depicted as the cruel withholder of our pleasure." -- page 125
"Behind each lie is the Enemy enticing us to meet our legitimate need in an illegitimate way." -- page 154
Overall, I liked this book. I've read other books dealing with this topic (purity) that I thought were better, but the rom-com aspect was unique.
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it on my blog. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
July 28, 2014
A powerful book that provides real, honest help for Christian women - Marian Jordan Ellis has written an insightful guide.
Sex and the Single Christian Girl tackles the lies that have deceived many young women and torn their hearts to pieces. Ellis explains that her single years were like a war zone as she fought a relentless battle to protect her purity and her heart.
"In a culture where virgin is deemed a dirty word, it is rare that a young woman today would see her purity as worth fighting for," she writes. To read those words - to have someone acknowlege the battle and the seeming futility of it - goes a long way to encourage weary warriors.
She provides practical advice on how to identify the enemy's lies and to fight back. A welcome relief from advice about "how far is too far" and preparing for marriage, this book delves into the heart issues of why and when a young woman is susceptible, such as this: "One of the most vulnerable times of our life is when we are in pain. In our heartaches, sadness and unmet desires, Satan slithers in with his deceptions."
Ellis draws from her own experiences of having grown up as a church girl, then being involved in hook ups and heartaches. She was saved and faced many long, lonely years of singleness and recently married. While this perspective allows for true-to-life encouragement, it falls short for, as Ellis calls us, "the ones who have waited." Her advice is a one-paragraph warning to not be prideful because temptation can strike at any time.
Most of the book targets the temptation Christian women face of sleeping with their boyfriend before marriage. It's probably the most honest, encouraging book on this specific issue that has been written. However, it is not a comprehensive guide for the other, complex issues a single woman faces as she wages one of the most important battles she will ever fight. As Ellis writes in the conclusion, "Purity is a lifelong pursuit without a finish line."
I would recommend this book especially for twenty-somethings. It may also be appropriate for older teens. Women in their thirties and beyond will also find it helpful, though not the target audience.
I received this book from Bethany House in exchange for writing an honest review.
Sex and the Single Christian Girl tackles the lies that have deceived many young women and torn their hearts to pieces. Ellis explains that her single years were like a war zone as she fought a relentless battle to protect her purity and her heart.
"In a culture where virgin is deemed a dirty word, it is rare that a young woman today would see her purity as worth fighting for," she writes. To read those words - to have someone acknowlege the battle and the seeming futility of it - goes a long way to encourage weary warriors.
She provides practical advice on how to identify the enemy's lies and to fight back. A welcome relief from advice about "how far is too far" and preparing for marriage, this book delves into the heart issues of why and when a young woman is susceptible, such as this: "One of the most vulnerable times of our life is when we are in pain. In our heartaches, sadness and unmet desires, Satan slithers in with his deceptions."
Ellis draws from her own experiences of having grown up as a church girl, then being involved in hook ups and heartaches. She was saved and faced many long, lonely years of singleness and recently married. While this perspective allows for true-to-life encouragement, it falls short for, as Ellis calls us, "the ones who have waited." Her advice is a one-paragraph warning to not be prideful because temptation can strike at any time.
Most of the book targets the temptation Christian women face of sleeping with their boyfriend before marriage. It's probably the most honest, encouraging book on this specific issue that has been written. However, it is not a comprehensive guide for the other, complex issues a single woman faces as she wages one of the most important battles she will ever fight. As Ellis writes in the conclusion, "Purity is a lifelong pursuit without a finish line."
I would recommend this book especially for twenty-somethings. It may also be appropriate for older teens. Women in their thirties and beyond will also find it helpful, though not the target audience.
I received this book from Bethany House in exchange for writing an honest review.
May 3, 2014
I read Sex and the Single Christian Girl: Fighting for Purity in a Rom-Com World in exchange for review from Bethany House. The book was written by Marian Jordan Ellis and published by Bethany House.
I wanted to review the book because I have been celibate for over 3 years. The book's description sounded good and I could not pass it up.
The book discusses how to maintain your purity in a rom-com (romantic comedy) world. In a romantic comedy, you have a girl, who likes a guy or vice versa. He may not be interested right away. At the end of the movie, the couple somehow ends up together. On page 11, Ellis said:
In a romantic comedy, everything wraps up in a beautiful little package in an hour and thirty minutes. but real life doesn't work that way. For one thing, there are never negative consequences for sex outside of marriage. In a rom-com world, everyone is happy, STD free, and blissfully strolling off into the sunset.
Not to mention, in some rom-coms, the couple has hot, passionate sex before marriage. The audience cheers and cries for the couple, despite the couple has went against God's word. In church, the other week, the pastor discussed the television show, Scandal. He said people cheer for the mistress and the president to be together, while ignoring the president is married. Ellis also said on page. 13, that " we become desensitized to the immorality that has been wrapped up in a beautifully soft-lensed package."
Maintaining sexual purity or celibacy is hard enough without falling in love with the characters in a movie or a romance book.
The book was a good read. Now, I just need a kindle version for my Fire
I wanted to review the book because I have been celibate for over 3 years. The book's description sounded good and I could not pass it up.
The book discusses how to maintain your purity in a rom-com (romantic comedy) world. In a romantic comedy, you have a girl, who likes a guy or vice versa. He may not be interested right away. At the end of the movie, the couple somehow ends up together. On page 11, Ellis said:
In a romantic comedy, everything wraps up in a beautiful little package in an hour and thirty minutes. but real life doesn't work that way. For one thing, there are never negative consequences for sex outside of marriage. In a rom-com world, everyone is happy, STD free, and blissfully strolling off into the sunset.
Not to mention, in some rom-coms, the couple has hot, passionate sex before marriage. The audience cheers and cries for the couple, despite the couple has went against God's word. In church, the other week, the pastor discussed the television show, Scandal. He said people cheer for the mistress and the president to be together, while ignoring the president is married. Ellis also said on page. 13, that " we become desensitized to the immorality that has been wrapped up in a beautifully soft-lensed package."
Maintaining sexual purity or celibacy is hard enough without falling in love with the characters in a movie or a romance book.
The book was a good read. Now, I just need a kindle version for my Fire
April 3, 2014
I just finished reading the book, Sex and the Single Christian Girl, and I have to tell you I wish this book had been written years ago. It is not like any other book on purity that I have ever read.
In Sex and the Single Christian Girl, Marian Jordan Ellis seeks to create a vision for single Christian women in the fight for purity. She points out the reasons that we should be fighting to keep ourselves pure should be based in God’s love for us and our love for Him. She teaches that this fight is about more than our physical purity, but it is a fight for our souls. This is spiritual warfare we are talking about when talking about purity and she works to help us arm ourselves for this battle.
Marian shares her heart on the subject of purity in a loving way, but she also doesn’t pull her punches. She shows you exactly what the Bible says on the topic of purity and sex, and she uses examples from her own life to illustrate her points. She is open and honest about the battle she herself faced as a single Christian woman.
I found this book to be very convicting on the issue of sexual sin, but the good thing about conviction is that it leads to repentance. I could see myself, my struggle with this issue throughout her entire book. I was the good little Christian girl who was raised to know better but didn’t recognize the battle for what it was and believed the lies that Satan was telling me.
I strongly recommend that single Christian women of any age pick up this book and read it. Let God use to show you how to fight for purity in your own life.
In Sex and the Single Christian Girl, Marian Jordan Ellis seeks to create a vision for single Christian women in the fight for purity. She points out the reasons that we should be fighting to keep ourselves pure should be based in God’s love for us and our love for Him. She teaches that this fight is about more than our physical purity, but it is a fight for our souls. This is spiritual warfare we are talking about when talking about purity and she works to help us arm ourselves for this battle.
Marian shares her heart on the subject of purity in a loving way, but she also doesn’t pull her punches. She shows you exactly what the Bible says on the topic of purity and sex, and she uses examples from her own life to illustrate her points. She is open and honest about the battle she herself faced as a single Christian woman.
I found this book to be very convicting on the issue of sexual sin, but the good thing about conviction is that it leads to repentance. I could see myself, my struggle with this issue throughout her entire book. I was the good little Christian girl who was raised to know better but didn’t recognize the battle for what it was and believed the lies that Satan was telling me.
I strongly recommend that single Christian women of any age pick up this book and read it. Let God use to show you how to fight for purity in your own life.
December 14, 2013
I first committed to purity about seven years ago when I was fifteen years old! Since that time I have read several books on the subject of purity, some of which were helpful and some of which were not.
This was a new to me author so when I started this book I didn't really know what to expect, but I am very pleased to say that this book changed how I think about purity and made me look at purity in a whole new way! Once I started this book I really hated to put it down, and even though some parts didn't really apply to me as I've never been in a relationship with a young man before. But regardless, I loved this book!
This book is so much more than just a book about purity, this is a book about learning to rely fully on Christ.
I learned so many things from this book, it helped me to see problems in my own life that I wasn't even aware of!
This book definitely has a spot on my keeper shelf, and I anticipate rereading it many times in the future!
Highly recommend!
I received a free copy of this book from Bethany House publishers in exchange for my honest review.
The above is my honest opinion.
All thoughts and opinions are one hundred percent my own
This was a new to me author so when I started this book I didn't really know what to expect, but I am very pleased to say that this book changed how I think about purity and made me look at purity in a whole new way! Once I started this book I really hated to put it down, and even though some parts didn't really apply to me as I've never been in a relationship with a young man before. But regardless, I loved this book!
This book is so much more than just a book about purity, this is a book about learning to rely fully on Christ.
I learned so many things from this book, it helped me to see problems in my own life that I wasn't even aware of!
This book definitely has a spot on my keeper shelf, and I anticipate rereading it many times in the future!
Highly recommend!
I received a free copy of this book from Bethany House publishers in exchange for my honest review.
The above is my honest opinion.
All thoughts and opinions are one hundred percent my own
April 2, 2014
Marian Jordan Ellis’s newest book, Sex and the Single Christian Girl is truly inspirational. From the beginning, Marian Jordan Ellis writes with such honesty and truth. I felt that every word written came from the author was written in sincerity and were written to impart the wisdom she gained from her own experiences and wanted to speak truth to every single woman’s heart. One of the points that can be taken away from this book is that purity is not only about the body but it is also about the soul. Marian Jordan Ellis also points out that every woman should be cherished the way God cherishes her which I felt was one message that was very poignant and relevant for every woman to hear. There are so many messages in this book that will change a single Christian woman’s life. Also included, is a small group discussion guide that I find would be helpful in getting single Christian women to reflect more deeply on each chapter.
December 30, 2015
I can see so clearly how God placed the yearning in my heart for such a book and then conveniently placed this book in my life in such a timely manner. This was exactly something that I needed to read and I stand firm when I say that it is something that EVERY WOMAN no matter her background, past, age, or upbringing should read as well. Marian Ellis did a beautiful job of relating to us through her book in a very sit-on-my-couch-and-talk-with-me-and-a-cup-of-coffe-because-I'm-your-best-girlfriend type way. I feel so much stronger in my faith, relationship with God, and vision for purity and God's best for me after reading this book. You won't regret picking this sucker up and reading it, I assure you.
December 6, 2013
Easy to read with great messages for girls and women of all ages! I enjoyed most of this book. I personally found it a bit repetitive for me and found myself wishing some things would have been wrapped up in a neater little package. Other than that it was a great book and as a woman who does my best to stay pure it was a great motivator. Fixing my eyes is my mantra for right now, but I'm not planning on running any marathons like the author!
January 26, 2014
I won this book from Goodreads. I love this book. Marian did a great job of hitting the nail on the head. Many of our brothers and sisters are struggling with this whether single or married. I was at a Purity Conference that helped me to see that sexual sins needs to be discussed within the church. People need a safe place where they can confess and get help without judgement. I won this book the week after the conference. I cannot wait to share what I have learned with the women in my lives..
September 22, 2023
In Sex and the Single Christian Girl, Marian Jordan Ellis presents foundational principles from Scripture on sexual purity. I think the book holds great information but none of it was new to me. I found myself skimming through most of it as it was all quite basic. I think this would be best for those who are new to the topic and are just starting out on their journey of abstinence. Overall, I am giving this book 3 stars.
God bless,
Kaya :)
God bless,
Kaya :)
March 3, 2014
Excellent read for any woman single, dating, or married. Sheds incredible light on the devil's strategy to take down God's cherished creation, why we stumble so often, and how to move forward when we feel like we've failed. Definite must read for a young woman/teenager prior to marriage or anyone working to equip young women for victory in this area.
November 18, 2014
Awesome. Some other books I was privileged to read recently have challenged me to do a further study on purity and what makes for a successful marriage. This is a help for single ladies as well as a good reminder for married ones.
May 12, 2015
Great book, easy to read & the author's explanations are all Bible based.
Read
September 16, 2017This book really helped me with my walk with my purity vow I personally made with God. It was good to read about other Christian women's journeys with this. It has helped me a great deal.
May 16, 2019
Marian Jordan Ellis brings up something that is important for Christian women to talk about: the biblical value of sex within marriage. She talks about how culture has made sex something normal outside of marriage, but that is not how God intended it. She focuses on spiritual warfare and how women can live pure lives once they understand their value to God and decide to live for Him. I thought it was a good book, but also want to be honest. This book was focused on women who have struggled with purity in past or current relationships. While I will be able to take away many important lessons and apply them to multiple areas of my life, I was a little upset because I felt like the book title led me the wrong way. I thought it would be directed toward single women as a whole, but women in my position (never been on a date and not currently in a relationship) were not addressed. While I do believe that women who are wrestling with purity should read this book, I wish Ellis had addressed those of us still in the waiting period more - we are also single Christian women who want to strive for purity in today’s society.
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