Before I begin, I was given an ARC of this book for an honest review.
“This tree is like us, dear friend, lots of individual branches going every which way, but with deep roots, and a trunk that’s a little bit twisted, but fused together forever.”
This is it. This is the book I’ve been waiting for. The one that tapped at my feelings, wore down my defenses, and broke me down, piece by piece. Never have I been so emotionally invested in a book before, literally shouting out and cheering on the heroine as she struggles and survives all the obstacles life throws at her. I’m only 19, I’ve never been married and I don’t have any kids, but while I read this book, I felt like a wife, a mother, an alcoholic, a loner, and everything else Claire was, I was. This isn’t one of those nice, sweet happily-ever-afters; this is an intense, eye-opening journey of one woman’s life and how she crashed and burned. How she found the courage and strength to survive and move forward. This is Claire’s story.
“A thousand memories flashed through her mind. Their wedding, vacations, playing with kids in the backyard. They’d had happy times. Lots of them, in fact. So much history…gone.”
Claire is barely living after losing her son, Ben, to the Army when she is smacked with divorce from her husband for thirty-two years. As a result, her life (what’s left of it) crumbles completely, and she turns to wine and alcohol for comfort. Personally, I am against drinking, but for Claire, I just can’t fathom the pain and anguish she must feel. Pain and sorrow for her lost son, regret for what could’ve been with Elise, and bitter resentment towards Stan. I completely understood her desire, her need to be numb for a while. After all, no one can run on autopilot forever. The one time I thought Claire may have a second chance at love, he turns out to be vengeful bastard. My heart broke for Claire, and I felt her embarrassment and hopelessness.
“Where was character and honor? Was this the life of a single woman in her fifties? Was she to assume that every man she came in contact with was a sleazy scumbag?”
I think the turning point of this story was Elise. She is the daughter I hope to be, and the daughter I hope to have. She was the strongest character in the book and her strength was indomitable. Without her constantly looking out for Claire, I honestly don’t think Claire would have made it.
“The Army didn’t kill all of your kids, Mom. You still have a kid. I’m still here. You know, I could use a mom. A little help.”
Oh Elise!! There were many times I wanted to jump in the book and give her a hug. She already has a family, a job, a life, yet she still makes the effort to save her mom from destroying herself. Not many daughters in modern society would do that for their moms. Most would probably send them off to rehab or a nursing home, but Elise stays strong for her mother.
“And you know what else? My kids could use a grandmother. Someone else to give a damn about them. You could do that, Mom. You’ve got the time and the money. And you’re wasting it. You’re wasting your life.”
What I love so much about Darlene’s writing is that it sucks you in, from the very first page. Nothing is overstated or downplayed, and every word counts.
“In that moment, Claire realized she was about ten years behind. Her relationship with Elise needed to evolve. Sure, she’d always be the mom, but Elise was a grown woman. They should be friends.”
While I was reading the book, I was overwhelmed by my emotions and how much these characters evolved. This book wasn’t just about how Claire grew back to be a confident, responsible, loving mother and friend; this book was about mother-daughter relationships, relationships between men and women, marriage, and friendships. There were tough times in the story, and I almost thought that the characters wouldn’t be able to overcome their differences.
“Elise hadn’t realized just how much her life had been defined by her little brother. Before Ben. With Ben. After Ben.”
It was extremely heartwarming to watch Claire heal, physically and emotionally, and see a deep bond form and grow between Claire and Elise. Claire’s friends, especially Mary, were extremely crucial to her recovery and were always there for her, even during the hard times. In the end, it really didn’t matter who Claire was before or what she did or why she did the things she did, but how she became the person she is today.
“She shuddered a deep breath. Didn’t matter. Those stares were for a woman who no longer existed. As of this day, that pathetic excuse for a living person was gone. Be the person you want to be.
I will definitely be on the lookout for book 2, which is Dana’s story.
5 BREATHTAKING STARS!!!!